A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[MrSmith]

39 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

1) they haven't approved your claim yet???

2) Never forget that HR is there to protect the company, they are not going to be 'on your side' even after all that went down.

@bilgistic, @theredhead77 is right times MILLIONS. I can't give her post enough likes, even if I could like it 1/second for 24 hours. HR is there to fuck the employee over and protect the employer. I tried to explain this to MrsSmith before she cracked her left knee cap at work from overwork. She thought I was just a jaded, disillusioned prick at the time because I hated my job, the company I worked for, and the asshole managers that turned it into the eighth circle of Hell. Then she got hurt and discovered that not only did the company not give one single fuck about her, they were actively trying to fuck her over. My initial reaction was a sarcastic shocked face and anger. Do not ever trust HR!

[GHScorpiosRule]

I think it also depends on the type of company/firm culture. Believe me, I've been burned so many times by the HR division in the past...10 years, it's not even funny. But, I do remember the first law firm I worked at, when our office moved, a couple of blocks down, and I now had my own office, we had hired a receptionist to handle phone calls, and the legal secretary (who was a bully of the WORST order and I took her shit because she'd been with the partner and firm from day one the DC office opened and bragged about how they were thisclose, and so I was intimidated and scared to talk to the partner) and I no longer had to work out when we would take our breaks, vacation, etc.

So, it just happened that it was the year my parents retired and moved to India, I had the house, and it seemed House knew parents were gone, because everything seemed to start falling apart, toilet in master bath, a sudden rodent problem, etc. So in the four years I'd been there, this was the first time I had to stay home to take care of the issues and deal with plumber, telephone company, exterminator. Bully would send me emails, warning me HR (located in Albuquerque) were watching me, and that I could lose my job because I was taking all this time off, and how I wasn't being professional because I no longer "cleared" when I would take my lunch break with her. It scared me. So I went to the partner and she advised me to talk to the HR manager. And I did. I emailed her and forwarded all the threatening emails Bully had sent me. I SAVED everything. So HR manager called me to let me know I had nothing to worry about. "Big Brother" was not watching me, and that she would talk to Bully. And they did. And the threats stopped. Of course Bully took it as a personal affront and told me I "had changed" and not for the better. Meaning, I wasn't going to let her bully me anymore. I know it's my own fault for putting up with it for as long as I did, but I was bullied, beat up, teased cruelly unmercifully as a kid, and some things just have a lasting effect. Sometimes I wish I never left the firm for more career opportunities, but then again, I wouldn't have gotten the experience and learned new skills that I had, so it does no good to think back. But I do wish every place I worked after had the same HR manager that this firm had had.

[MrSmith]

@GHScorpiosRule You make a good point. HR is useful when the company is relatively small and people tend to know each other. Once you're working for a corporation or any other larger company, then you're boned and HR is there to protect the company and doesn't care about the employee.

[bilgistic]

3 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

1) they haven't approved your claim yet???

2) Never forget that HR is there to protect the company, they are not going to be 'on your side' even after all that went down.

I should've clarified; I haven't yet applied for unemployment because I'm not yet ready to job-hunt. I'm pretty sure the company would reject my claim because I quit. On the other hand, they are so disorganized, they would likely not respond within the 30-day deadline, so I'd get it by default.

[hoosier80]

Well, I was keeping everything as neutral as possible.  The Dip has some loyal friends, and just my luck they'd read my posts and put 2 and 2 together.  Again, a social butterfly; if you just interacted on a social basis, probably be fine, but to work with is a different story.

So freaking mad right now.  Culmination of an annual event this evening.  Showing another person how to do it, since I get stuck every fucking year doing it.  Oh they're leaving early.  Say what?  Now they come in really early, so I get that, but they should have remote access like everyone.  So it's me doing everything again.  I'm going to tell my boss I'm NOT doing it next year.  Plan for it now.  NOT DOING IT.  I just got a call from an SVP asking how shit rolls through tonight.  Same as it has for fucking 15 years.  The only thing is - he got it.  His managers don't understand it, but he got it.  Sad.    I've also got an unhappy family because they wanted me to go to their place tonight, which isn't happening.  Now not speaking to me.  Fantastic.   If I do go there tomorrow, stopping to buy lottery tickets on the way.

[GHScorpiosRule]

5 hours ago, MrSmith said:

@GHScorpiosRule You make a good point. HR is useful when the company is relatively small and people tend to know each other. Once you're working for a corporation or any other larger company, then you're boned and HR is there to protect the company and doesn't care about the employee.

Well, it wasn't a small firm per se; the head office in New Mexico had over 20 attorneys, including partners and about 10 support staff; we had an office in two offices in Santa Fe, and one in DC, where I worked out of; we were the remote office, I guess. My boss was the managing partner, plus two associates, as our clients were Native American Nations and we did most of our filings with the Supreme Court and Court of Federal Claims. I'm not sure if we would fall under small or mid-size. But I was lucky--the people in HR and the attorneys I worked with, did care.

4 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I should've clarified; I haven't yet applied for unemployment because I'm not yet ready to job-hunt. I'm pretty sure the company would reject my claim because I quit. On the other hand, they are so disorganized, they would likely not respond within the 30-day deadline, so I'd get it by default.

So sorry to hear this, and unfortunately, if you quit, you wouldn't be able to get unemployment. That's the point of it--you get that, (even if it is a pittance) due to being fired/laid off from your employer. There may be exceptions but you'd have to look at the requirements of your state.

[Bastet]

14 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

So sorry to hear this, and unfortunately, if you quit, you wouldn't be able to get unemployment.

The requirements to qualify vary by state, but most states allow for unemployment benefits in the event of constructive discharge (where one essentially had no choice but to quit given the working conditions).

[GHScorpiosRule]

1 minute ago, Bastet said:

The requirements to qualify vary by state, but most states allow for unemployment benefits in the event of constructive discharge (where one essentially had no choice but to quit given the working conditions).

Right. Sorry, I should have included that in my response above.

[ratgirlagogo]

On 10/13/2017 at 3:31 PM, hoosier80 said:

Well, I was keeping everything as neutral as possible.  The Dip has some loyal friends, and just my luck they'd read my posts and put 2 and 2 together.  Again, a social butterfly; if you just interacted on a social basis, probably be fine, but to work with is a different story.

What..they read your posts WHERE?  Which posts are these???

[hoosier80]

Ratgirlagogo, just me being old and paranoid.  Given my luck, someone I work with would post here.

What is it with everyone who wants you to drop what you're working on - because they need something.  I was given something super duper urgent, and someone pops online and says hey do you know when this was updated?  Nope, I do not.  Do you have access to the database?  Yes.  I did a dump of everything in the db and emailed it to him.  Still more questions.  Can you look it up on the system?  I looked and no it's not store.  Still more questions, and I was like time for me to logout.  I'd stayed logged in to finish up the research on the urgent deal.  The urgent item was  list of clients that had their mailing instructions jacked up.  Basically management wants me to find out what went wrong.  That's usually code for they want me to say the system jacked it up - but no I can see ID numbers and what was done - totally switching up to wrong addresses, etc.

I'm going to login early tomorrow to do the rest of my research as I can't seem to get through anything, even with my online status as busy or do not disturb.

[Moose135]

11 hours ago, hoosier80 said:

even with my online status as busy or do not disturb.

Our message system allows you to set a status of "Appear Away" or "Appear Offline".  You may want to see if you can do the same with yours.

[MargeGunderson]

6 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

Our message system allows you to set a status of "Appear Away" or "Appear Offline".  You may want to see if you can do the same with yours.

I love that option. Because if I'm online and working at 11:00 pm, I really don't want any interruptions.  

Edited October 18, 2017 by MargeGunderson

[emma675]

The job from hell has gotten so bad this week that I cried in the bathroom at work twice and I'm so anxious 24/7 I can't sleep or eat well. It's the middle of planning for next year and the big CMO is constantly wanting a new presentation every other hour, changing things from deck to deck (so no one group has been presented the same deck), and having me change budget numbers from deck to deck. I already hate budget management at this job and I'm terrible at numbers, so I'm totally convinced it's all wrong and it's all going to be blamed on me (because no one wants to share that part of the job, although all other teams do their budgets together). I'm mad at myself for taking it all so seriously because WE'RE IN FREAKING MARKETING, NOT CURING CANCER. But I like to do a good job and have numbers be accurate.

On the job hunt front, I had my third interview with the new place yesterday and it was a panel interview with the COO, the head of HR and the head of another department. Yikes. I think it went well, but I can never tell with these things. I'm praying to get an offer at this point because I can't take the current job at all anymore.

[riley702]

Good luck, emma!

[bilgistic]

Good luck, @emma675! I feel your pain.

[PradaKitty]

You WILL get that job!

[emma675]

I really, really hope so!

And I was right, my budget numbers are horribly off from what our agency reported, like a $2 million variance. I can't figure out how the spreadsheet I get from our finance department that shows actual invoices and what the agency is reporting we've spent is so different. I'm going to have a terrible weekend stressing out over this and dreading the 9:30 Monday morning meeting to discuss it with the CMO and team. I can't believe this is my life right now, I just want to quit so badly but I do not want to take the chance that the new job doesn't extend me an offer and I have no income. 

ETA, I think I will be turning in my resignation on Monday. I'm hopeful for the new job but even if I don't get it I will get a paycheck next week and I've been there for over a year now so they will owe me for all of my PTO days. And I've barely used any of those so I'd get about 4 weeks there. I've also got savings that I'd prefer not to touch, but is available. 

What does everyone think? Am I overreacting? I'm so far in my misery and anxiety that I'm not sure I'm seeing things straight.

Edited October 21, 2017 by emma675d

[BookWoman56]

@emma675 if you are that miserable at your current job and have decent prospects for another one, I'd say you definitely need to get out of there. That said, would you be able to hang on another week to see if you get the other job offer? That would also give you some time to regain your bearings after this latest nonsense,and make a calm decision about what you want to do rather than make a decision when you are understandably upset. But by all means, whether it is this coming week, next week, or next month, figure out a way to extricate yourself from this job that is driving you nuts. 

I have found myself in an odd position this past week. I have a colleague that I generally don't care for because he is frequently an ass; he's one of those that if you don't have a doctorate, and a doctorate in his field, then he looks down on you. I'd say about 50% of my interaction with him has been negative but at the same time, he hasn't done anything horrific. So, colleague A (for asshat) has been working on a research project for 2-3 months, with no assistance. His manager (manager L for lazy) was notified by a VP a couple of levels up that the research from this project should be presented at an upcoming major conference. Only, manager L forgot to inform colleague A about this for over a month, so for the last 2-3 weeks colleague A has been scrambling not only to wrap up his regular research but to throw together a presentation for this conference, with exactly zero guidance from his manager. So last week there was a meeting with colleague A, manager L, and a manager from another area, where the two managers were expecting a fully fleshed-out presentation, and colleague A was under the impression that this was a working session at which they would go over his very rough draft and figure out the final approach. There was obviously not a meeting of the minds there on the purpose of that meeting and what needed to be ready for it; manager L is notorious for giving unclear direction on what's needed for meetings. Subsequently, both managers ripped into him and tore apart his rough draft of the presentation. My manager has asked me to jump in and assist as I can to help colleague A get this presentation finished and in reasonably good shape. My manager's concern is that if this presentation is bad at the conference, then that will make manager L look bad, and my manager is all about protecting manager L. (Manager L used to be the manager of my manager until a re-org within the past year, and my manager still spends 75% of her time doing shit for her former manager; she literally writes reports he's supposed to do, etc.)  Now my manager is making disparaging comments about the quality of colleague A's work on this presentation. Neither my manager nor manager L is going to admit that manager L dropped the ball by forgetting to tell colleague A about this freaking presentation being needed until a month after he should have. In addition, I have watched manager L in action for a couple of  years now, and his general mode is to blow off looking at work in progress from the people he manages, leading them to think everything is fine, and then 2 days before the final deliverable is due, review it and throw a hissy fit that this is not the direction that he wanted the person to go in, everything sucks, etc.  And while I've been assisting colleague A for this week, he's been perfectly nice and has expressed some frustrations about manager L that I share; he's fairly close to quitting because of the overall issues with manager L. Because of the field he's in, he can easily find another job without even looking hard.  The bottom line is that right now manager L and my manager are giving colleague A such a hard time for a situation that manager L fucked up, that I'm in the position of rooting for someone that I normally consider to be an asshat. Not cool. 

[janestclair]

I had a pretty serious car accident (with airbag deployment etc) outside of a work training the other day.  I have zero recollection of the accident only starting to go from a stop sign and then airbag dust. A good portion of my coworkers showed up on the scene, found my eyeglasses that had gone flying, gave me hugs, made me laugh, and one even drove me to get checked at the ER.  I'm fine, though at the time I was in a state of shock for sure. 

My boss, the psychopath who has the not flattering nickname of RC, or raging see you next Tuesday, was notified of the accident by another coworker because obviously, I'm missing the training.  Have I heard a peep from her asking how I am? That would be a no.  

I'm also pissed because if it wasn't for that stupid training, I wouldn't have been anywhere near that location, and hence, not had that accident which is now going to cost me a shit ton of money to crawl out from under, to say nothing of the emotional trauma.

I love my coworkers, but my boss can kiss my royal ass.  And who wants to bet I'll be asked for a doctor's note for Friday?

[emma675]

Thanks, BookWoman56, you always have good advice!

I'm going to see how this week goes and then gauge how long I will stay. I'm hopeful to hear back from the job interview soon, but we'll see. Plus, my car decided to fall apart this morning and now I have a rental, so that won't be cheap.

[bilgistic]

I'm glad you are OK, @janestclair!

[NutMeg]

23 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

@emma675 if you are that miserable at your current job and have decent prospects for another one, I'd say you definitely need to get out of there. That said, would you be able to hang on another week to see if you get the other job offer? That would also give you some time to regain your bearings after this latest nonsense,and make a calm decision about what you want to do rather than make a decision when you are understandably upset. But by all means, whether it is this coming week, next week, or next month, figure out a way to extricate yourself from this job that is driving you nuts. 

I have found myself in an odd position this past week. I have a colleague that I generally don't care for because he is frequently an ass; he's one of those that if you don't have a doctorate, and a doctorate in his field, then he looks down on you. I'd say about 50% of my interaction with him has been negative but at the same time, he hasn't done anything horrific. So, colleague A (for asshat) has been working on a research project for 2-3 months, with no assistance. His manager (manager L for lazy) was notified by a VP a couple of levels up that the research from this project should be presented at an upcoming major conference. Only, manager L forgot to inform colleague A about this for over a month, so for the last 2-3 weeks colleague A has been scrambling not only to wrap up his regular research but to throw together a presentation for this conference, with exactly zero guidance from his manager. So last week there was a meeting with colleague A, manager L, and a manager from another area, where the two managers were expecting a fully fleshed-out presentation, and colleague A was under the impression that this was a working session at which they would go over his very rough draft and figure out the final approach. There was obviously not a meeting of the minds there on the purpose of that meeting and what needed to be ready for it; manager L is notorious for giving unclear direction on what's needed for meetings. Subsequently, both managers ripped into him and tore apart his rough draft of the presentation. My manager has asked me to jump in and assist as I can to help colleague A get this presentation finished and in reasonably good shape. My manager's concern is that if this presentation is bad at the conference, then that will make manager L look bad, and my manager is all about protecting manager L. (Manager L used to be the manager of my manager until a re-org within the past year, and my manager still spends 75% of her time doing shit for her former manager; she literally writes reports he's supposed to do, etc.)  Now my manager is making disparaging comments about the quality of colleague A's work on this presentation. Neither my manager nor manager L is going to admit that manager L dropped the ball by forgetting to tell colleague A about this freaking presentation being needed until a month after he should have. In addition, I have watched manager L in action for a couple of  years now, and his general mode is to blow off looking at work in progress from the people he manages, leading them to think everything is fine, and then 2 days before the final deliverable is due, review it and throw a hissy fit that this is not the direction that he wanted the person to go in, everything sucks, etc.  And while I've been assisting colleague A for this week, he's been perfectly nice and has expressed some frustrations about manager L that I share; he's fairly close to quitting because of the overall issues with manager L. Because of the field he's in, he can easily find another job without even looking hard.  The bottom line is that right now manager L and my manager are giving colleague A such a hard time for a situation that manager L fucked up, that I'm in the position of rooting for someone that I normally consider to be an asshat. Not cool. 

I'd say good on you for not letting how you consider that colleague cloud your judgement on the situation.

[BookWoman56]

1 hour ago, NutMeg said:

I'd say good on you for not letting how you consider that colleague cloud your judgement on the situation.

I'm generally able to divorce my personal feelings about colleagues from my assessment of their work or my willingness to collaborate with them to produce a deliverable of high quality. (I'm fairly certain either in this thread or a related one we've talked about Myers-Briggs personality results, and I'm an INTJ, the short version of which is I don't care if people are happy as long as progress is occurring.) But I'm now in the position of wondering how much of my negative feelings about colleague A have been influenced by my own manager's ongoing derogatory comments about him, prior to this latest issue, versus my own actual interactions with him, which have been fairly minimal. Manager L is quite prone to treat people on his team as if they are idiots, and colleague A is the only one who pushes back. There is one other colleague who would push back, but he's the token person that reports to manager L who is not treated like crap, and I suspect that's because he's considered too valuable of an asset to risk losing. If I try to analyze the dynamics here, it seems to me as if my manager's hostility to colleague A is based primarily on his not kowtowing to manager L. The other people who report to manager L are pretty much terrified of him; he has zero hesitation to berate them in meetings instead of coaching them in private, and as I mentioned earlier, a huge part of the problem is his own unwillingness to do his damn job and review their work while it's in progress rather than waiting until the last possible minute and then going ballistic.  He's too damn busy strolling in at 10:00 am and spending the day texting to family and friends to do his actual work before leaving around 4:00 pm, which is a large part of the reason that my manager spends so much of her time doing his work for him.  Because for so many years my manager was dependent on manager L for appraisals and corresponding performance bonuses, it's as if she can't get out of the mindset that she needs to babysit him.  Unfortunately, that translates into her criticizing anyone who doesn't see him as a great manager, and colleague A is definitely in the camp of those who think he's a crap manager. Bottom line here is colleague A and I are never going to be BFFs, but I now have a lot more insight into why he's often frustrated and can sympathize with him being in the position he is now, where no matter what he does for this presentation, it's going to be trashed. I know full well the narrative at the end of it will be that colleague A fucked up and manager L had to go in and rescue the situation, as opposed to the truth of the situation that manager L's neglect in informing colleague A about the presentation is what set the whole debacle in motion.  At this point, I'm really hoping that colleague A finds a new job in the next few weeks and leaves manager L having to finish the presentation himself, and manager L's boss will be asking why colleague A and another colleague have both left in the past couple of months, for similar reasons. 

[NutMeg]

Well, I do feel bad for colleague A now...

[emma675]

Well, I had another bad day with the boss/job from hell (and it's Sunday!), so I've drafted my resignation letter. I've got it saved and basically just have to insert dates and it's ready to go. I don't know when I'll actually use it, but it's ready to go.

I  talked to my mom and dad separately (she has a habit of talking over him, lol) about all of this to get some outside perspective and they both agree that I need to quit soon. I thought I had kept the stress and anxiety and awfulness to myself pretty well (I don't like dumping my problems on anyone else, except my online friends here, haha) but apparently they've noticed. My mom said I'm quieter and tenser in general and my dad said I'm not as relaxed and happy as I used to be. I'm lucky to have a financial cushion for a while and they have both said they will support me in any way I need but I really, really keep hoping the new job opportunity pans out this week. It's stupid to hang my hopes on it but I just hate to not know where my income is coming from and having to rely on anyone but myself. I've always been someone who has prided myself on being totally independent and not having to take anything from anyone, even when they offer. It's a weird hang up that I probably need to get over, but it's kind of just who I am. 

[NutMeg]

@emma675, I totally get where you're coming from, I've been there too - with the not wanting to rely on anyone else etc. I once jumped ship without anything in sight, and it took me a good six months to start in a completely different field that I loved and where I worked for 12 years. I also, much later and after many mergers in my industry, decided to jump out in a leap of faith, if you will. It took a little bit longer to pan out, but ultimately it did. It's normal to be scared, and - I know it's a cliché but still - we are more afraid of the unknown, even when the known is unbearable, and when looking back, it seems quite weird that sometimes we waited that long to jump into the unknown.

Whatever, or rather whenever you decide to jump, I'll trust that you'll make the right decision. I like how you're doing things in steps, penning your resignation letter, checking with your parents, here too, and it seems like so far each step is pushing you in the same direction. So just go on and trust your instincts on the when and how :)  

[emma675]

NutMeg, you are so kind! I'm totally in that mindset of "I know it's horrible and it's affecting my health, but it's still an income". I hate taking chances with that. Can I ask, how did you figure out what you wanted to do when you decided to start in a totally different field? 

Edited October 22, 2017 by emma675d

[NutMeg]

emma675, I took some time to reflect, to figure out where I wanted to work and what I needed to do to get there (which in my case involved investing in language classes), but the clincher at that time (because money was running really tight) was to target employers who were typically looking for people with my profile, figuring that if they wanted someone like me, they might offer something that I might like. That may have been naive thinking, but it worked out for the best. (Before that, I had targeted companies in industries I knew of and where thought it would be fun to work, but alas they often didn't even want to meet me...).

The second time I had to change tracks, I looked and looked and looked for what I wanted but got nowhere. Then I happened upon an add looking for people with my exact profile in terms of work experience and languages. It was so uncanny that I gave it a try, even if it was a branch I had never even considered. Been in that field for more than 10 years now, and it's been great, but I'm now looking to branch out again in the near future (more because of different life circumstances and because I want different challenges than because of the job per se).

[Hero]

I need some advice about a predicament that I am in. I just got a job about a month and a half ago, and I absolutely hate it. I really want to quit, but I feel so stupid for doing so. It's a call center job and it's making me miserable. 

I got training and I feel like I am wasting everyone's time and money if I quit. 

I thought I would like the job, but I don't. I dread waking up every morning and going there. It has made me have suicidal thoughts and be generally unhappy. My mood has plummeted. 

I feel so pathetic and such a loser for not sticking it out before I even have another job lined up. I'm putting in applications as I type this. 

My question is, do you think I'm being irrational and stupid for wanting to quit?

[BookWoman56]

@Hero, it used to be in many companies that the first 90 days on the job were considered a probationary period, so that both the employer and employee could make sure everything was a good fit, and either party could terminate employment without consequences. It doesn't sound as if your company has an official 90-day probationary period, but there's often unofficial recognition that many employees will quit during that first 90 days. Many (not all) potential employers will understand that you tried the job and then had the good sense to bail when it turned out not to be a good fit. On top of that, call centers in general have very high turnover rates, so I don't think anybody would be surprised that you quit one.  I'm not advocating that you quit without notice or anything, but if you truly are completely miserable, then you're not doing yourself any favors by staying in the job.  Ramp up your job search, but at the same time, consider what kind of job you think you would be happy in, or at least not miserable, and focus your job search on those positions.  If it makes you feel better, many years ago I quit a call center job after precisely one day on the job, because it was making me stabby and I knew it would not improve. (Also, the job was a bait and switch; it had been advertised as responding to customer emails, with no phone work, but after two weeks of training for replying to emails, everyone in my group was told we would instead be on phones.) I realize there may be financial reasons for hesitating to quit before you have another job lined up, but you are the best judge of what you can/can't deal with.

[bilgistic]

Yeah, @Hero, all you had to say was "call center". That's a ring of hell. Run like the wind. No one will blame you. Your health is more important than a job.

[emma675]

Hero, I can't offer better advice than what BookWoman56 said so I'll just sympathize. I've hated my current job from about the third month but I've stuck it out for over a year. Don't be like me and get to the point where it's so bad it affects every waking moment. It's not worth your health and sanity. You're not a loser, it's just not a good fit.

[Hero]

59 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

Yeah, @Hero, all you had to say was "call center". That's a ring of hell. Run like the wind. No one will blame you. Your health is more important than a job.

I love the people here, but everything else just sucks so much. I have never felt this way about a job before. It has benefits and is full time which is what I wanted, but I don't think I can take another day of this. 

19 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Hero, I can't offer better advice than what BookWoman56 said so I'll just sympathize. I've hated my current job from about the third month but I've stuck it out for over a year. Don't be like me and get to the point where it's so bad it affects every waking moment. It's not worth your health and sanity. You're not a loser, it's just not a good fit.

I have to think of myself, and a lot times that is hard to do. I know it's not healthy wishing that I won't wake up just so I don't have to go to work. 

[bilgistic]

11 minutes ago, Hero said:

I love the people here, but everything else just sucks so much. I have never felt this way about a job before. It has benefits and is full time which is what I wanted, but I don't think I can take another day of this. 

I have to think of myself, and a lot times that is hard to do. I know it's not healthy wishing that I won't wake up just so I don't have to go to work. 

I don't know if you are familiar with my situation, but I left a soul-crushing job in August. One of my hesitancies was leaving some of the people there. Well, I've seen only one of them once since then and been more or less blown off by another. It's sad, but that's just how it is. It's awkward for people to maintain relationships with former coworkers.

The job was killing me. I was there 3.5 years. Leaving was the best thing I did. I dreaded getting up every day. I slept all weekend every weekend. I'm still not OK. I will probably never trust another company.

You know yourself and your capabilities and limitations. If your mental health is endangered, please take that seriously. Speaking from experience, nothing is worth the threat to your health.

[Hero]

2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I don't know if you are familiar with my situation, but I left a soul-crushing job in August. One of my hesitancies was leaving some of the people there. Well, I've seen only one of them once since then and been more or less blown off by another. It's sad, but that's just how it is. It's awkward for people to maintain relationships with former coworkers.

The job was killing me. I was there 3.5 years. Leaving was the best thing I did. I dreaded getting up every day. I slept all weekend every weekend. I'm still not OK. I will probably never trust another company.

You know yourself and your capabilities and limitations. If your mental health is endangered, please take that seriously. Speaking from experience, nothing is worth the threat to your health.

My other hesitation is my family is really putting my decision down and telling me I'm a "quitter " and "stupid" for quitting. 

[bilgistic]

I get that; believe me. But you have to live your own life; you know yourself and are a grown-up. Your family doesn't have to go to your job every day.

Maybe treat yourself to something nice this evening. A meal at a restaurant you've been wanting to try...a little gift to yourself you've been eyeing. When we are struggling with our mental health, it's hard to be good to ourselves. Whatever you do...even if it's a quiet 10 minutes alone at home, take a moment to savor and enjoy it, tell yourself you deserve it, and try to find clarity within yourself to make the right decision for you. Your gut...your instinct...your heart-of-hearts...knows what you should do.

We all are here to offer support. The people on this board are incredibly supportive and kind. They were the only people I could talk to when my job was killing me.

[theredhead77]

@Hero, if you can afford to quit, write up your two weeks and leave. Or don't bother with notice. You haven't been there long enough to put it on any sort of resume for a reference..

Years ago I thought I landed a dream job - helpdesk at a major technology company. The recruiter laid out a career path, the job duties, everything. It was perfect. I got there, it was nothing like what they said. It was a straight up inbound call center, entry level work, not allowed to resolve issues outside their predetermined solution, must escalate, call quotas, etc... Nothing I did was right, I was getting in trouble for fixing things that were beyond my 'level' and fixing things outside of their steps. I was written up for not completing things I had no idea existed, I wasn't paid correctly, blatant favoritism. I went home every day crying, depressed, nearly suicidal and couldn't afford to quit. I was fired on my 93rd day, they told me I made others uncomfortable, if by uncomfortable they meant I was making everyone look bad. I ripped into HR, they could hear me in the call center. I walked out to applause (I don't recommend doing this). Don't let it get that bad. Just leave and fuck your "family" who will think you're a "quitter".

[Hero]

Thank you guys soooooooo much!!! I QUIT!!!! it was hard to do and I was so nervous. I don't have any jobs lined up, but hopefully I will get one soon. I put my two weeks in and I'm counting down the days. 

[emma675]

Congrats, Hero! I hope you feel like a weight has been lifted. 

I have decided to turn in my resignation this Friday, whether I hear back from the new job or not. I was reamed out by the CMO yet again today in front of others (we have an open office and no one has offices, just desks). I actually didn't think it was all that bad because that's how she always speaks to me but the second she walked away, I started getting instant messages from people around me saying "it's okay, you're doing fine", "wow, that was bad", etc. That was the tipping point for me, I'm so used to the horrible treatment that I started to wonder if it was all in my head. It's not and it's not going to change, so I'm out. 

[Bastet]

Good for both of you, @emma675 and @Hero!  I do not at all believe the "don't quit unless you have something else lined up" rule should be a universal guideline, and both circumstances were such that I would indeed classify as "get the fuck out now" exceptions.  Congratulations, and I wish you good fortune in your job searches.

[bilgistic]

I'm so glad for you both, @Hero and @emma675! I know it's scary (I'm unemployed right now), but not feeling like death every day has been worth it.

It is ramping up to the holiday season, so if nothing permanent pans out and you can stand the public, there are plenty of seasonal jobs open right now. I would be homicidal if I worked with the public, so that's a no for me.

I worked as a driver helper for UPS four years ago for about five or six weeks from November through Christmas Eve. It was guaranteed five or six hours a day five days a week (no weekends), and sometimes a bit more. It was just the driver and me in the truck delivering packages, which was kind of fun. Lots of jokes. It was hard labor, but I needed the money badly. Basically, if you showed up and did the one-day training, you were hired. UPS has listings on their website. FedEx does the same thing.

In unrelated news, a commercial real estate broker contacted me on LinkedIn and asked if I do any copywriting. My summary says "transitioning out of commercial real estate", so he didn't even read my profile. He is interested in me doing some freelance website writing for his CRE firm. I could do it, but I want out of CRE. I can picture me taking it and three years from now still being in CRE. No. No no no. NO.

Edited October 24, 2017 by bilgistic

[BookWoman56]

@emma675 and @Hero, glad to hear you have taken decisive action. Now that you know you're out of there, you can focus on finding a job that you will like instead of just trudging along in a job you hate that has become unbearable. One thing I've seen too often is people just sitting in a rut because they think nothing will get better, and not pursuing opportunities that would be better for them. I've shared this experience before, but it bears repeating, I think: Roughly two years ago I was in a job where I had done outstanding work, and everyone on the team knew it.  A position opened that would have been a promotion for me, but my asshat very sexist manager instead gave the promotion to a colleague whose work I had been having to fix for the preceding year; I routinely got emails from other colleagues complaining about his work and begging me to fix it. This colleague then proceeded to turn into a tyrant, informing me that I could no longer respond directly to my colleagues' requests for work because I might agree to do something that he didn't approve of. Several of my colleagues sent me WTF messages when his promotion was announced, and a few of them even complained to our manager.  And so I had to consider the situation. There had been things about that job that I didn't like, but I would have been willing to let those things slide had I gotten the promotion. Instead, I launched a job search and within a couple of months had been offered a position within the same company, in a completely different area, that was a much better match for my skill set and preferences, such as agreeing that I would telecommute full-time instead of playing favorites and allowing a couple of people to telecommute but rejecting even occasional work from home for other employees. So the net result of my not getting the promotion that I deserved was kicking me into high gear enough to go out and find a much better job, at a significantly higher salary, etc. And while the new job is not completely ideal, because no job ever is, by and large I feel that I am in a good place with my career. So, use this opportunity to focus on finding a job that you want, instead of just having a paycheck for work that makes you physically and mentally sick.  Life is too damn short to waste working at a job you hate.

Edited October 24, 2017 by BookWoman56

[emma675]

Quote

Life is too damn short to waste working at a job you hate.

 

I'm going to be repeating this over and over in my head until Friday so I don't chicken out!

[Hero]

I was so happy to have a job, with benefits, that I ignored the voice in my head telling me to leave. I have a problem with putting the feelings of others first. Instead of thinking of me, I thought about how I wasted the company's time and money training me just to leave a little over a month later. 

That's the problem I'm still having. I feel guilty and so stupid that I went through training just to quit. 

[Bastet]

11 minutes ago, Hero said:

Instead of thinking of me, I thought about how I wasted the company's time and money training me just to leave a little over a month later. 

That's the problem I'm still having. I feel guilty and so stupid that I went through training just to quit. 

Well, rest assured they are not sparing even half a thought for you.  You have far more humanity towards them than they do you, guaranteed.  It's a wonderful quality in you, but don't let it override reality.  You did the right thing.

Those of us with strong work ethics ("over-developed senses of responsibility" as a friend once described it when we were both dithering on leaving soul-sucking jobs because, but, wait, if we leave, things will fall apart and others will suffer) are valuable, but also easy targets for America's corporate culture.  We need to protect ourselves in such situations; that's a time in which prioritizing ourselves and letting the chips fall where they may for others is healthy, not selfish.

Edited October 24, 2017 by Bastet

[BookWoman56]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

Well, rest assured they are not sparing even half a thought for you.  You have far more humanity towards them than they do you, guaranteed.  It's a wonderful quality in you, but don't let it override reality.  You did the right thing.

@Hero, @Bastet nailed it: The call center admin isn't going to give a second thought to you leaving.  A very quick google search popped up numbers that appear to confirm what I thought about the turnover rate at call centers being very high. A few online sources quote the turnover rate at 30-45%, when the overall average for jobs in general is supposedly around 15%. Nobody at your call center is going to be surprised that you left, and they know full well the cost of training employees who then turn around and quit, and have budgeted for it because it's a fact of life in that environment.  I've known a few people who started working at call centers on the assumption that they liked talking on the phone, and so they might as well get paid for it. But talking of your own volition and having to talk to customers, often irate customers, and deal with whatever they're calling about are two entirely different things.  My own very brief experience at a call center made me realize also that there is a skill set often needed for call center work that I do not possess. I can easily write and edit 400 pages or more of technical documentation in a very short amount of time with no problem. What I cannot do, however, is talk to someone on the phone while navigating through various online systems to track down their account info, order, etc., much less enter notes to summarize the phone call, all before finishing the conversation. This is not helped by the fact that I generally despise talking on the phone.  In your case, you've discovered you don't like the call center environment, or at least that specific call center. Try to determine which skills you have that are your strongest ones and which types of work you find interesting, and see if you can't find a job that aligns your interests and your skills. 

[emma675]

Is this a diplomatic resignation letter? I'm trying not to burn any bridges, esp. since HR would never do anything about the horrible CMO even if the entire department complained. This would go to my manager, not horrible CMO.

Dear XX,

Please accept this as my resignation from Company, effective November 10, 2017.

This was definitely not an easy decision to make, but I have decided to pursue new opportunities.  My time at Company has been very rewarding and I’ve learned so much from everyone I’ve had the pleasure to work with. I have really enjoyed working for you and with the rest of the Marketing team.

I want to sincerely thank you for the opportunities for growth and the guidance and knowledge you have given me in the time we have worked together.  

I wish you and the team the best and please don’t hesitate to let me know how I can be of help during this transition.

Sincerely,

emma675

[bilgistic]

I think that's very generous, considering the hellishness of the situation. Well done!

[emma675]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! This is really such a great thread, it's such a helpful resource when I'm so far gone in my head I'm not seeing things straight.

I emailed thank you's to the three people that interviewed me last Thursday at the potential new job and about 5 minutes later I got an email back from the President/COO who told me that "although I'm not driving this (interview process), if you haven't heard anything by the end of the week, let me know." So, I think that's positive?

[Mindthinkr]

15 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! This is really such a great thread, it's such a helpful resource when I'm so far gone in my head I'm not seeing things straight.

I emailed thank you's to the three people that interviewed me last Thursday at the potential new job and about 5 minutes later I got an email back from the President/COO who told me that "although I'm not driving this (interview process), if you haven't heard anything by the end of the week, let me know." So, I think that's positive?

Absolutely. Even encouraging! Fingers still crossed for you.