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A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here


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3 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Did you offer to help him find a new job?

😉

No, but I told him that I hoped he didn't have to leave in order for me to get promoted. We have a good relationship and he has acknowledged that with the current org structure, my growth opportunities are limited. He said he was open to changing the org structure (it's not entirely up to him though) in order to let me increase the scope of my responsibilities.

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I am fully convinced no one want to make anything better.  Either that or I am cursed to be an office Cassandra - I give the world what it needs to hear only to be ignored.

Case in point:  Producers.

For years, producers and APs would stack the show (add stories) and it was their responsibility to order the video and place the supers (times when to add names of people in the story) into the scripts.  For some reason, this has changed and whenever a script is entered (along with a source), they haven't been putting supers into it until later.  If you have time to paste a script into the body of a story, you have time to add the supers for it.  That way, When we edit it, we can put in the times for those supers.  Now, we're editing the video but there are no supers.  We send the video but we get a message later about putting super times in.  When our supervisor asked how this can be fixed, I told him thus:

Me: "We used to have producers put supers in at the same time as scripts.  If they went back to doing this, there will be no issues".

Him: "Maybe you could just find a way to mark it or wait to send it until they add it or keep checking back to see if supers were added".

Me: GRRRR!

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8 hours ago, magicdog said:

"Maybe you could just find a way...

After reading several posts about your job/workplace, it sounds to me like you are in the boat with the rest of us, heading up the probably never going back to the way it was river.  I'm talking about every aspect of our lives.  We are the folks living on the pivot point.  We remember the before and are living the after, for better or worse.  Those that come after us won't have any idea how it used to be, and they'll think it's all good, like we did, until it isn't.

I've spent much of the past 12 months waiting for the better, and it isn't coming and may not ever, so I'm trying to suck it up and settle in.  

Yeah, I'm in a mood today, but that's how I feel.  Sorry for dumping.

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I’m feeling super on edge. 

My company announced layoffs last week and cut a few people the day they made the announcement. (I am not sure how they made the decisions as to who would be let go.) I was very tense but didn’t get word of anything with my position, so I forgot about it kind of.

Until today…I asked my boss a question and she said let’s catch up tomorrow; does X time work? Then not long after that I got a call from IT asking what equipment I had because the rep said he was updating inventory (I’ve talked to him personally before) and it seemed…odd? He said it was no big deal and mentioned two of my pieces of equipment as “peripherals” so he could check some boxes, but I can’t help but think something else is up. 

On the flip side for maybe why it’s not that big of a deal and everything is OK: my boss and I have had catch up/check-in meetings occasionally and I know she’s had a big project to do so maybe she is still drowning in that and couldn’t talk at the moment. I have only been here less than six months (I know some companies lay off newer hires), but I have not had any performance or disciplinary issues. My job is a little slower right now, though, but I was still getting some tasks today and my boss answered another question about something on my calendar for tomorrow. 

I am probably not going to sleep very well tonight to be honest unless I get some other sign that makes me think I’m just paranoid. 

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Update: Laid off late this morning. It was a pure financial decision; nothing to do with performance or character. My boss actually fought to keep me but there was nothing she could do at the end of the day. I can’t exactly see if my old employer has any openings because they just had layoffs too, go figure. (I knew three of the people there who were cut, including two longtime employees.) My boss offered to reach out to her connections for me and see if she could help me at all, but I am so numb. And two weeks before Christmas too. 

I am going to look for jobs similar to what I was doing (recruiting coordination) because I was enjoying it and thought I could grow my career into being a talent acquisition specialist or something. Unfortunately I was only there for four months so I don’t have the experience yet for the next step up.

This really sucks right now. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. 

Edited by Cloud9Shopper
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12 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Update: Laid off late this morning. It was a pure financial decision; nothing to do with performance or character. My boss actually fought to keep me but there was nothing she could do at the end of the day. I can’t exactly see if my old employer has any openings because they just had layoffs too, go figure. (I knew three of the people there who were cut, including two longtime employees.) My boss offered to reach out to her connections for me and see if she could help me at all, but I am so numb. And two weeks before Christmas too. 

I am going to look for jobs similar to what I was doing (recruiting coordination) because I was enjoying it and thought I could grow my career into being a talent acquisition specialist or something. Unfortunately I was only there for four months so I don’t have the experience yet for the next step up.

This really sucks right now. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. 

So sorry.  Try not to get mired in despair.  First of the year is practically upon us, and that should be a positive job-seeking time.  Don't wait, but you know what I mean.

Hang in there.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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23 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’m feeling super on edge. 

My company announced layoffs last week and cut a few people the day they made the announcement. (I am not sure how they made the decisions as to who would be let go.) I was very tense but didn’t get word of anything with my position, so I forgot about it kind of.

Until today…I asked my boss a question and she said let’s catch up tomorrow; does X time work? Then not long after that I got a call from IT asking what equipment I had because the rep said he was updating inventory (I’ve talked to him personally before) and it seemed…odd? He said it was no big deal and mentioned two of my pieces of equipment as “peripherals” so he could check some boxes, but I can’t help but think something else is up. 

On the flip side for maybe why it’s not that big of a deal and everything is OK: my boss and I have had catch up/check-in meetings occasionally and I know she’s had a big project to do so maybe she is still drowning in that and couldn’t talk at the moment. I have only been here less than six months (I know some companies lay off newer hires), but I have not had any performance or disciplinary issues. My job is a little slower right now, though, but I was still getting some tasks today and my boss answered another question about something on my calendar for tomorrow. 

I am probably not going to sleep very well tonight to be honest unless I get some other sign that makes me think I’m just paranoid. 

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Update: Laid off late this morning. It was a pure financial decision; nothing to do with performance or character. My boss actually fought to keep me but there was nothing she could do at the end of the day. I can’t exactly see if my old employer has any openings because they just had layoffs too, go figure. (I knew three of the people there who were cut, including two longtime employees.) My boss offered to reach out to her connections for me and see if she could help me at all, but I am so numb. And two weeks before Christmas too. 

I am going to look for jobs similar to what I was doing (recruiting coordination) because I was enjoying it and thought I could grow my career into being a talent acquisition specialist or something. Unfortunately I was only there for four months so I don’t have the experience yet for the next step up.

This really sucks right now. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. 

I'm so sorry, that's rough. FWIW, the way IT handled it was BS - an IT department that is on their game would already know what equipment you have.

Be sure to apply for unemployment and all other benefit programs you're eligible for. All utility companies have low/no income rates at a deep discount. If you have no income and no savings you may be eligible for SNAP. When I was laid off, and my UI was being dragged around by my prior employer I had to apply for SNAP and as hard as it was to swallow my pride, it was a huge relief (once the money came in). This should qualify for a life event and if you can't swing the COBRA (who can) you can get insurance through the ACA Exchange.

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I think one of the things that hurts me most is that our offices are still having their holiday parties at nice restaurants. (I had to send one of the office managers the names of invitees yesterday.) 🤯 I’d rather have the parties get called off if times are that hard and maybe a few people could keep their jobs a little while longer. Reservations at a steakhouse for 30+ people can’t be that cheap. 

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I'm emerging from hibernation to let y'all know that after six agonizing months of unemployment, I just signed an offer for a REMOTE editing and project coordinator position at a marketing agency! They have a local branch, but I won't have to go in except for orientation and equipment pickup on December 19 (and very occasionally after that), as long as I pass the drug test (I will😂).

@Cloud9Shopper, I'm so sorry to hear about your layoff! I second the suggestion to apply for SNAP. It took months for it to be approved here in NC, but I qualified. Otherwise, I/we couldn't afford groceries. Of course you know to apply for unemployment immediately. I got only $350 gross for 12 weeks, but it was more than nothing. We pay into these programs with our taxes, so there's no shame in taking advantage of them when we need them. We have an obligation to lift each other up in a functional society.

I also qualified for the federal Affordable Connectivity Program, which has given me a $30 credit per month on my internet bill (AT&T). I did have to call AT&T a few times to make sure my credit was being applied.

I wasn't able to swing insurance through the marketplace, but my psychiatrist gave me prescription refills for six months. I started using Mark Cuban's Cost Plus Drug Company to get my maintenance meds via mail order without insurance. I saved at least two-thirds over what I was paying at the pharmacy, even with "discount" programs like GoodRX.

If you work remotely, demand that your company provide FedEx/UPS labels to return your equipment. After making me drive 35 miles to lay me off, my former company tried to make me drive across the county again to return their monitor and keyboard. I told them that under no circumstances would I do that, especially since they hadn't paid me for my mileage to and from the bank for the last month. They sent me labels, and I returned the equipment.

I wish you the very best. I know how hard this is. Your company sucks donkey balls. Feel free to PM me if you have questions.

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16 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I'm emerging from hibernation to let y'all know that after six agonizing months of unemployment, I just signed an offer for a REMOTE editing and project coordinator position at a marketing agency! They have a local branch, but I won't have to go in except for orientation and equipment pickup on December 19 (and very occasionally after that), as long as I pass the drug test (I will😂).

@Cloud9Shopper, I'm so sorry to hear about your layoff! I second the suggestion to apply for SNAP. It took months for it to be approved here in NC, but I qualified. Otherwise, I/we couldn't afford groceries. Of course you know to apply for unemployment immediately. I got only $350 gross for 12 weeks, but it was more than nothing. We pay into these programs with our taxes, so there's no shame in taking advantage of them when we need them. We have an obligation to lift each other up in a functional society.

I also qualified for the federal Affordable Connectivity Program, which has given me a $30 credit per month on my internet bill (AT&T). I did have to call AT&T a few times to make sure my credit was being applied.

I wasn't able to swing insurance through the marketplace, but my psychiatrist gave me prescription refills for six months. I started using Mark Cuban's Cost Plus Drug Company to get my maintenance meds via mail order without insurance. I saved at least two-thirds over what I was paying at the pharmacy, even with "discount" programs like GoodRX.

If you work remotely, demand that your company provide FedEx/UPS labels to return your equipment. After making me drive 35 miles to lay me off, my former company tried to make me drive across the county again to return their monitor and keyboard. I told them that under no circumstances would I do that, especially since they hadn't paid me for my mileage to and from the bank for the last month. They sent me labels, and I returned the equipment.

I wish you the very best. I know how hard this is. Your company sucks donkey balls. Feel free to PM me if you have questions.

I did get a label to return the equipment so at least that’s done.

Unfortunately the unemployment system in my state (PA) is a horrible mess. It’s impossible to get anyone on the phone and it’s taking weeks to get money. People have to hold for 1.5 hours by the time they get past a busy signal. My mom lost her job earlier this year and it took two or three months for unemployment to pay out. By the time they got her back pay she was already back to work. It used to not be like this but they put in a lot of fraud prevention measures and are short staffed so everything has turned into a cluster. 

I’m also kind of drained from hearing how bad my boss feels. She may feel bad but she has a job to keep going to and a secure paycheck at Christmas. I can’t exactly feel sorry for how hard it is for her even if she means well. Luckily I have a phone interview coming up on Monday so hopefully I can get back to work quickly and not caught up in the state unemployment war zone for too long. 

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5 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

FANTASTIC NEWS, @bilgistic!

I've been thinking about you.

@Cloud9Shopper, when I lost my job a few years ago in DC, everything was automated. Meaning I completed the insurance from their website; no longer need to talk to anyone on the phone. Try going to the state's website.

I did do that but in order to change your address (last time I filed was four years ago), PA makes you call. There’s no way to do that online. I can file my initial claim online but in order to change any of your info, you have to call. No way around it. 

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4 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’m also kind of drained from hearing how bad my boss feels. She may feel bad but she has a job to keep going to and a secure paycheck at Christmas. I can’t exactly feel sorry for how hard it is for her even if she means well.

At best, your boss is incredibly insensitive to tell people who have been laid off that she feels bad about it when she still has a job. Her "feeling bad" reminds me of the "Crying CEO". People completely slaughtered him online for crying about laying people off when he'd just bought a second house.

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23 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I'm emerging from hibernation to let y'all know that after six agonizing months of unemployment, I just signed an offer for a REMOTE editing and project coordinator position at a marketing agency!

Ooh, that sounds like a great fit for you.  Congratulations!

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Thank you all the well wishes! I waited until I signed the offer letter before I posted here. They asked me if I will be coming in on the first day just to pick up my equipment or stay the whole day—like I had an actual choice for once! What a concept. I told them I'd be there for the day.

The wage is low (isn't it everywhere), but I advocated for myself for once and got it up an additional $1.50 an hour ($3K+ a year) before accepting.

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8 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’m also kind of drained from hearing how bad my boss feels. She may feel bad but she has a job to keep going to and a secure paycheck at Christmas. I can’t exactly feel sorry for how hard it is for her even if she means well.

It's a fine line to walk. I'm sure she genuinely feels bad to lose you and doesn't want to come across as cold and unfeeling by not saying anything. You're absolutely right though that you shouldn't have to worry about her feelings.

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Fingers crossed I don't get my dumb ass fired from my latest job due to my flightiness (it's too embarrassing to get into detail). I finally realized I want full time work, but am worried it will never happen, due to my own shortcomings or outside circumstances (though I'm not letting myself off the hook).

I did a lot of job-hopping this year, which I swear is out of character for me, and I'm way long in the tooth to be doing that sort of thing. I just hope I can finally get my shit together and make something happen. The real challenge for now is just not worrying so much or wallowing in regret. 

On 12/10/2022 at 12:12 PM, EtheltoTillie said:

Great news @bilgistic

Seconding that. Congrats, you earned it!

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On 12/13/2022 at 11:06 AM, Wiendish Fitch said:

The real challenge for now is just not worrying so much or wallowing in regret. 

That's something I've had to work on ever since I can remember. I still go over stuff from decades ago that I regret sometimes while in bed before falling asleep. My Mom used to tell me I worried about things before they even happened. She was that way too but got better about it as she got older. I'm always trying to do that even though it can be really hard.

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Feeling full of guilt.  And I need to stop it.

The office has been dropping like flies with Covid.  Two a day at least, for two weeks.

I took my work laptop home and told my boss I need to work at home until the cases improve. My BF is having heart surgery in a week.  I absolutly can not get him sick if I contract it.  

Boss is fine with it, but why am I feeling guilty?

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1 hour ago, Sweedish Fish said:

Feeling full of guilt.  And I need to stop it.

The office has been dropping like flies with Covid.  Two a day at least, for two weeks.

I took my work laptop home and told my boss I need to work at home until the cases improve. My BF is having heart surgery in a week.  I absolutly can not get him sick if I contract it.  

Boss is fine with it, but why am I feeling guilty?

You have nothing to feel guilty about!!  Your loved ones are first priority and you want to make sure they stay healthy!    

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2 hours ago, Sweedish Fish said:

Feeling full of guilt.  And I need to stop it.

The office has been dropping like flies with Covid.  Two a day at least, for two weeks.

I took my work laptop home and told my boss I need to work at home until the cases improve. My BF is having heart surgery in a week.  I absolutly can not get him sick if I contract it.  

Boss is fine with it, but why am I feeling guilty?

Think of it this way, @Sweedish Fish.  Every person who stays home means those that must go in have more room to spread out and will come into contact with fewer people.

Best wishes to you and your BF!

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I have felt so depressed the last day or two. Just like randomly crying, hitting a wall and not wanting to do anymore applications, not wanting to learn new skills…I just want to sit around. I keep going back and forth between depression and feeling anger at my now old employer for laying me off at this time of year. A chronic condition I have has flared up again (probably from stress!) after almost three years of no issues, just in time for me to be losing insurance at the end of the month. I’m applying to jobs but only getting interest from hybrid roles…I’ve worked remotely for almost three years so if I get a hybrid job…it will be what I have to do and so be it, but it sucks not being able to be as selective and have more freedom in my search. (I have to keep track of my job search for unemployment and register for their search system.) I know at least if I get offered a hybrid job I can take it and keep looking for fully remote. 

Also, seeing how many recruiters have gotten laid off is making me worry about the future of this career, much less finding another recruiting coordinator role. Ugh. It’s amazing how employers can just pull something so heartless with no repercussions and those of us who are unlucky enough to have our names drawn for layoffs just have to pick up the pieces. With only four months in at my job before I got laid off it may as well be like I was never there when people with years of experience are also on the market. 

Not to mention all my friends and family have jobs except for my older sister, who is looking but largely has been caring for her daughter since her daughter’s been born so at least she has a legitimate reason. And except those who retired of course. So I have to go to Christmas gatherings knowing I’m alone and that no one really cares about what happened to me. I know it will just be apathetic shrugs and “you’ll find something!” platitudes. My career was finally going well, I had a nice place all lined up to move into next month, and it all metaphorically was stolen from me. But meanwhile no one in management got laid off and they still had lavish holiday parties. 

Edited by Cloud9Shopper
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On 12/16/2022 at 2:51 PM, Cloud9Shopper said:

So I have to go to Christmas gatherings knowing I’m alone and that no one really cares about what happened to me. I know it will just be apathetic shrugs and “you’ll find something!” platitudes. My career was finally going well, I had a nice place all lined up to move into next month, and it all metaphorically was stolen from me. But meanwhile no one in management got laid off and they still had lavish holiday parties. 

Just a couple of comments here:

(1) Frankly I would not go to any Christmas gatherings where I felt that no one there "really care about what happened to me" - that is not what you need right now. If these are family holiday parties and your family is not a source of solace about such a devastating event in your life, then don't go. I recommend spending the time you would be at such a gathering doing something for someone who will truly appreciate you - bring cookies and cheer to an old person's home or go volunteer at a food pantry. Believe me: reaching out and giving back will make your heart ache so much less.

(2) Nothing was "stolen from you" - no one gets a guarantee of a secure job or much of anything else in this life. This is just another episode in your continued development as a self-sufficient human being. It didn't work out and so here is your big opportunity to put it behind you, face forward and move ahead! I'm sorry that it happened to you at this time of year and just when you felt like you had finally got things together, but take a minute to gain perspective: you could be in the Ukraine freezing your ass off in the dark, you could be in south Sudan having not eaten for days, you could be in Iran or China being arrested for just being near people rightfully demonstrating for their freedoms...the old saying "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger" is true. Learn just how strong and magnificent you are! Go outside and scream at the sky, pound a pillow and then get back to your job hunt because your next employer will be lucky to have you if you are as resilient as I think you can be.

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@Cloud9Shopper, I'm sorry you're going through this when the holidays are upon us.  The timing couldn't be worse.  However, thinking like this won't change anything.  You must think positively.  Keep in mind employers won't be doing much hiring until January so take some time to breathe and prepare what you need to go on the job hunt.  Can your employed relatives help you?  If not, try the usual job sites like indeed and new job boards like gab.  something has to turn up eventually.

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you could be in south Sudan having not eaten for days,

Saw this after I posted.  Very true.  In many third world countries, if you lose your job, you go home to die of starvation because there are no other options.  At least you have that much.

Edited by magicdog
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Such toxic positivity. All spoken by people who have jobs and paychecks coming in and access to healthcare, I’m sure. Maybe if this happened to you you’d have more empathy and wouldn’t just tell me to shut up because there are starving kids in Africa. 

And yes things were stolen from me thanks to my employer who told me what a wonderful job I did and what a quick learner I was while laying me off. The apartment I was supposed to move into may now be rented to another tenant. It’s degrading to move back in with your mother in your late 30s. I’d rather live in my car. I should be preparing for my new apartment and considering saving for a house right now, not starting over at yet another new job and dealing with unemployment at Christmas time. (And oh yeah my state can take up to 12 weeks to pay it because they’re so backlogged.) It gets tiring when you don’t even get to build your life before the rug gets ripped out from under you with fake smiles and reassurance from your manager. Remember she was the one who had to tell me how bad she felt while her paycheck was still coming in and she had a house. Oh, and tracking your work search for the state unemployment and not having any freedom over what job you take next is also degrading. 

I’m going to be angry in my personal life and I don’t care if that makes people uncomfortable to hear it because I should just be “resilient” and “positive”. Hard to be when everyone else around me is comfortable and has everything. 

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1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Hard to be when everyone else around me is comfortable and has everything

Maybe you're speaking of your parents, I don't know, but if you're implying that everyone outside of your immediate circle has all they need, well, that's uninformed and bordering on disrespectful.

Just because people don't post paragraphs of grievances on a weekly basis, you shouldn't take that to mean that everything is roses.  I can assure you that it is not.

Hope your life settles down soon.

*Edited for brevity

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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Without going into detail, I can attest that somehow doing my best to stay positive against the odds and not giving into despair and  gloom HAS saved me from total defeat and doom  in my professional as well as my personal life down the decades.

Easy? It sure ISN'T but  that doesn't mean it can't be done and it beats the alternative of giving up and surrendering to complete despair!

P.S. I also have learned to keep a wide berth from any possible Cassandras who'd prefer that I'd just sink to the bottom  without attempting to keep swimming.

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My LinkedIn feed is full of people posting that they've been let go this month. Layoffs around the holidays suck, especially because they didn't come out of the blue.

Years ago I was laid off on Dec. 23rd. I was scheduled to work that weekend w/ significant overtime. Poof. 

Also cosign @isalicat, @SuprSuprElevated@Blergh. So much what you all said. I'm on my phone and multiquoting sections is difficult.

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3 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Such toxic positivity. All spoken by people who have jobs and paychecks coming in and access to healthcare, I’m sure. Maybe if this happened to you you’d have more empathy and wouldn’t just tell me to shut up because there are starving kids in Africa. 

You are totally allowed to be angry!  Honestly, I hope the people who spout this toxic positivity never get upset about anything because, by their logic, they're not really allowed to. Someone else is always going to have it worse, right?  And being angry and upset about something right now doesn't mean that you're going to wallow in despair and be negative about everything.  

Trying to be positive all the time and push down your negative feelings isn't mentally healthy, either.

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5 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

And yes things were stolen from me thanks to my employer who told me what a wonderful job I did and what a quick learner I was while laying me off.

Layoffs are not about performance, they're about budget. Almost everyone who gets laid off has a good performance history, because otherwise they would have been "managed out" earlier.

You have mentioned before how impersonal hiring is - well, so are layoffs. Nobody was out to "steal" anything from you, it was a business decision.

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Random? Perhaps, but seemed apropos - 

At age 17, she was rejected from college. At age 25, her mother died from disease. At age 26, she suffered a miscarriage. At age 27, she got married. Her husband abused her. Despite this, her daughter was born. At age 28, she got divorced and was diagnosed with severe depression. At age 29, she was a single mother living on welfare. At age 30, she didn't want to be on this earth. But, she directed all her passion into doing the one thing she could do better than anyone else.

And that was writing.

At age 31, she finally published her first book. At age 35, she had released 4 books, and was named Author of the Year. At age 42, she sold 11 million copies of her new book, on the first day of release.

This woman is J.K. Rowling. Remember how she considered suicide at age 30?

Today, Harry Potter is a global brand worth more than $15 billion dollars.

Never give up. Believe in yourself. Be passionate. Work hard. It’s never too late.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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6 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Such toxic positivity. All spoken by people who have jobs and paychecks coming in and access to healthcare, I’m sure. Maybe if this happened to you you’d have more empathy and wouldn’t just tell me to shut up because there are starving kids in Africa. 

Toxic?  Firstly, I know what it's like to lose a job (though at least it didn't happen at Christmas time).  Yes, that meant being unemployed for almost a year before I found work again and living at home with my parents.  They knew I'd land on my feet eventually and I was thankful they were there and didn't berate me for having to do so.  Secondly, yes, you have every right to be upset and cry about what you lost (or be pissed enough to throw something breakable across the room).  My point is to not wallow in it.  It's a very easy thing to happen to people.  Give yourself some time to "grieve" (A week?) and then swing for the fences.

When the COVID curtain came down I was scared I'd lose my job and was especially afraid when the jab was being forced down people's throats as a condition of employment.  I already decided how to handle it but my parents are no longer here to be my buffer and I have to be prepared for anything if the subject ever comes up again before my side hustle starts becoming a moneymaker.  However, I also know that I cannot let these monsters win.  I will not allow them to defeat me or destroy my dreams.    I don't know if you're ready my posts on the Assistant News Director Bitcheroo, but believe me she has done everything she possibly can to make me miserable and try to get me to quit.  She is a bully who deserves to have her next employee meeting in the ladies restroom, but I won't let that witch get the better of me.  I tell myself that I will defeat her one day;  I will make more money than her, travel on a private jet to visit my family and even outlive her!!  Yes, there are jerks out there in charge who shouldn't be but one day, I'll be riding high enough so I won't have to care anymore.  This is how my soul chooses to survive.  

That is my message when I said to think positively.  

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10 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Oh, and tracking your work search for the state unemployment and not having any freedom over what job you take next is also degrading. 

When I was on unemployment, the unemployment person looked me right in the eye and said that they didn't follow up to make sure people were putting down legitimate work searches unless somebody had been ratted out for being fraudulent.  She told me to just put something down every week and do it on time and all will be well.     

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@Cloud9Shopper I'm sorry you were laid off, especially at this time of year and right before you were going to move to a new, better place.  I wouldn't want to move back in with my mother, either; however, unless your mom is going to charge you apartment-level rent, it will be easier for you to save for a house if you're not paying rent as well.  (My sibling lives at my parents' house rent free, but bought a ridiculously expensive car instead of saving for a house.  I try not to be bitter about that while I drive my 20+ year old beater and struggle to pay the bills, but whatever.) 

Please try to remember that thinking that everyone else gets what they want while you don't isn't true and only hurts you.  Don't punish yourself for things you have no control over.  Owning a house isn't everything.  Starting over in your 30s is daunting but yes, after you grieve over what could have been, try to turn it in to an opportunity.  Apply for Medicaid so you have health insurance.  (I was quite sick a few years ago and am so, so, so grateful that we have insurance and that the ACA wasn't overturned, otherwise I might not be here.)  Be pissed off for awhile but don't wallow in it.  Make a plan, set some goals, and carry on.  I truly wish you the best.

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I have calmed down a bit now and feel better, though I still don’t love having to job search and interview again knowing that I have to take an offer as soon as one comes along.

I’ve realized this is why so many people are talking about why employer loyalty is dead. That doesn’t mean I’m now going to job hop every time I don’t like something at work, but I did learn that it’s never worth it to be too invested in one job title or one employer given how quick it can get taken away with little concern from the employer, and just how few protections we have as employees. To think they can lay me off with only one month severance and my health insurance can be cut off is scary. (Not to mention how awful it is that we still think health insurance should be hand in hand with a job rather than a fundamental right.)

I will never again get too caught up in where I work because of how fast it can be gone. I will look out for myself now more. I am in contention for a job that’s hybrid (three days a week in office at this particular employer), but I decided…hey I did the same work remotely and have been remote since 2020 anyway. I can always take the hybrid job to jumpstart my income flow and then quit if/when a remote job comes along. Dishonest? Maybe. But after having the rug pulled out from me two weeks before Christmas I realized I can be professional at a job and work my hardest, but I can also jump for something better at any time. 

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Just had a phone interview for a job that wouldn’t start until mid February. At first, I wanted to tell the interviewer I couldn’t wait that long but then I decided to stay in the running. I am excited about the company, and there’s no guarantee I get any offers to start sooner somewhere else, or even any offers at all. I figured I can always withdraw if I do get a job where I can start in January. 

There are also still additional interviews with the job I spoke with today anyway, and I should hear from the recruiter about next steps by the end of this week. So here’s hoping…next week will have been a month since my layoff, and contrary to what my mother thinks, a one month severance will not float me forever. 

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4 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Just had a phone interview for a job that wouldn’t start until mid February. At first, I wanted to tell the interviewer I couldn’t wait that long but then I decided to stay in the running. I am excited about the company, and there’s no guarantee I get any offers to start sooner somewhere else, or even any offers at all. I figured I can always withdraw if I do get a job where I can start in January. 

There are also still additional interviews with the job I spoke with today anyway, and I should hear from the recruiter about next steps by the end of this week. So here’s hoping…next week will have been a month since my layoff, and contrary to what my mother thinks, a one month severance will not float me forever. 

 

That's great news! Under no circumstances tell a recruiter you can't wait "that long" to start. If they ask you when you can start, at that time you can tell them as soon as possible but you don't hold the cards. They do and they work on their timeline.

At this time of year, with vacations, etc... most positions will be starting early to mid Feb. Interview timeline 2-3 weeks, they expect someone to have to give 2 weeks notice. IT needs a few weeks to get your equipment ready, all of that takes time and is usually handled within that 2 weeks notice period.

Edited by theredhead77
Edit to quote what I am replying to
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People say the stupidest things when you’re unemployed. I had one friend last week say to me “Oh now you’re back on the other side of recruiting!” Sounded like she was being completely smug or acted like I deserved to be unemployed because I was working in talent acquisition when I got laid off. Or that she was rubbing it in my face and just had to remind me that I have to suffer through all the job search BS again. Naturally she has a job. 

Last night, I went to dinner with a different friend who I hadn’t seen in a while so I caught her up on the story of my layoff and what had happened. When I expressed that my boss had some nerve to tell me how bad she felt when her paychecks would still be cashed and she had her house and her healthcare, my friend said “Well I understand. She’s being forced to do this and she doesn’t want to let you go.” My friend has never been a supervisor or laid people off herself. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to expect my friends to feel bad for me and not empathize with my boss.

Couple that with people telling me about manufacturing and receptionist positions hiring and I can’t wait to get back to work to get these people off my back. Thank God for a third friend who actually listened to what type of work I wanted and told me she’d keep an eye out and agreed with me on how crappy my firm treated me to let me go with no warning. 

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13 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Last night, I went to dinner with a different friend who I hadn’t seen in a while so I caught her up on the story of my layoff and what had happened. When I expressed that my boss had some nerve to tell me how bad she felt when her paychecks would still be cashed and she had her house and her healthcare, my friend said “Well I understand. She’s being forced to do this and she doesn’t want to let you go.” My friend has never been a supervisor or laid people off herself. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to expect my friends to feel bad for me and not empathize with my boss. 

Why can't your friends empathize with both of you? It's true that you are the one who's been most severely affected, but it's also true that your manager didn't want to let you go and feels bad about it.

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I’ve never been a supervisor or laid anyone off, but I also feel bad for both of you. The guilt of letting someone go right before Christmas for no reason other than budget cuts has got to sting too for any person of decent moral character. Its just an extremely crappy situation all around. Yes, she has her home and bills paid, but she also has to live with knowing she caused people financial hardship during the holiday season, even though she was just following orders.

I am a government employee with good benefits and I am dipping my feet into the job market after 11 years. My workplace has just gotten too toxic and is having an adverse effect on my mental health. The final straw is when my director told me I chose my baby over my career and that is why I am not advancing. I complained to HR and although she admitted to saying it, they still informed me that they would take no action against her with no explanation why. My director is hated both internally and externally but her bosses and HR seem to be digging in their heels to protect her—so  I am just done. I am so nervous about starting over again after 11 years, but excited to try something different and hoping to find something less mentally draining.

 

 

 

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