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S01.E02: Boys Aren't Nice to Her


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Me too. I am just so impressed with this kid, she is adorable, smart, thoughtful and awesome. I hope she navigates the waters of adolescence without too much trouble. Love her family too, I'm still not seeing a creepy factor in her mom at all, but to each their own and all that. :)

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Jazz is wise beyond her years. I love that she doesn't immediately assume the lack of attention from boys is because she is transgender and is willing to question or explore other possibilities. It's great that her friends don't coddle her and call it as they see it too. They were in agreement that she is shy or standoffish around boys.

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The boys didn't show up because there is a camera crew there! A lot of them are already shy and self conscious about being around girls so why would they want it filmed? So yes Jazz, it is because of you they didn't come- because of your TV show!

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The boys didn't show up because there is a camera crew there! A lot of them are already shy and self conscious about being around girls so why would they want it filmed? So yes Jazz, it is because of you they didn't come- because of your TV show!

 

I partially agree with you, but I think it may have more to do with parents not wanting kids involved on TV, much less a controversial TV show. Most kids would love to be on TV and if it were them, I'm sure they'd be right there filming.

 

I love Jazz, she's a pretty awesome kid. Love her twin brothers too.

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Jazz is wise beyond her years. I love that she doesn't immediately assume the lack of attention from boys is because she is transgender and is willing to question or explore other possibilities. It's great that her friends don't coddle her and call it as they see it too. They were in agreement that she is shy or standoffish around boys.

 

I was actually surprised at how dense her friends were on this topic. It seems clear to me why Jazz doesn't put herself out there with boys: she knows she will most likely be rejected, and that's got to hurt. It would be a rare adolescent boy, indeed, who not only accepted a transgender girlfriend, but was also willing to endure the horrible things his peers would say to him. Jazz's friends are criticizing her for doing what makes a lot of sense to me -- not putting herself in a position that will almost certainly end badly. If I were Jazz, I'd do exactly the same thing, especially at that difficult age. I think college (or post-HS if she chooses a different path) is going to be a lot easier for her in that regard.

 

Since this board is a bit touchy, let me say what should be obvious: I am not excusing the boys for being this way, especially the transphobic ones, just acknowledging reality.

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I was actually surprised at how dense her friends were on this topic.

Me too! Though we want to live in a world where adolescents are comfortable approaching anyone they are interested in, I swear they never are. It's such a fraught time already and I admire Jazz for holding herself back a little bit. It's so hard to put yourself out there especially when people are already uneducated at least and transphobic at worst. Hugs to her! 

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(edited)

I couldn't decide whether to think it was unfortunate her friends were so dense on the subject or sweet she is so unequivocally a girl to them that they thought it wouldn't be any different for her than any of them. 

Edited by Bastet
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I was a little annoyed at the girlfriends initially, but then I started to wonder the same thing as Bastet--if *they* were so accepting of Jazz as she is that they were simply oblivious to what a big deal it is for her to put herself out there beyond just the normal self-consciousness of adolescence. Bit of a mixed blessing, I guess.

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I really feel for Jazz... Now that we've seen her family and friends, it dawns on the viewer that this is tough, no matter how strong your support system.

I need to snark on the mom just a little bit. I commend her for being honest about the need for Jazz to go to the counselor, etc. But I'm starting to feel like the mom is a little too enmeshed. I think it's great that she is protective of her daughter. What I would like to see is less of "I wish I could just take the pain away from you" and more of "let's focus on the positive." There are so many things to be grateful for (I know it's not sincere coming from me when I've never gone through this). One, she's only 14. I know they need to start thinking about this, but not all 14 yos are dating seriously. Two, it's the 21st century (I know transphobia abounds and we are nowhere close to where society needs to be). Three, the hormones seem to be working well and she will develop like any other girl. She is physically beautiful. She's also charismatic and bright and she knows how to dress herself. These last 3 qualities are lacking in a lot of 14 yo girls.

It's hard to know how much self-consciousness is being piled on by the mom. Of course, her support and love outweighs that. I just think we should focus less on how much her mom loves her and talk about what's going right here. The fact that her mom wears as much makeup as she does makes me feel like she's in danger of transferring (see what I did there) some insecurities onto Jazz. That said, I'd love to have her as a mom. Just me, then?

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It might also be that teen boys can smell desperation on girls. The harder the girls push, the more the boys will run away. That has been a rule since I was a teen 

 

it's JMHO but the mom is a little too helicopter-y for me.  I understand her motivation for wanting  hassle free teen years for Jazz but that will never happen to ANY child, no matter what the challenges are. 

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I couldn't decide whether to think it was unfortunate her friends were so dense on the subject or sweet she is so unequivocally a girl to them that they thought it wouldn't be any different for her than any of them.

(Hi Bastet!). I thought the same as you and Bref. At first I was thinking, don't they realize it would be a little more complicated for Jazz to "put herself out there" than it is for them. Then I thought that they probably see Jazz as just another girlfriend, which is a good thing. I like that she has her core group of girlfriends. I hope they don't abandon her when they start getting boyfriends like a lot of young girls do.

Jazz just gets cuter each episode. I also love how she immediately and sincerely apologized to her dad after he reminded her of what things cost. I love to listen to her speak. I love that unlike other girls her age, she doesn't say "like" every other word. She's very well spoken for a girl her age. Hell, she speaks better than a lot of adults I know.

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I love to listen to her speak. I love that unlike other girls her age, she doesn't say "like" every other word. She's very well spoken for a girl her age. Hell, she speaks better than a lot of adults I know.

I was just coming here to post nearly the same sentiments!!! Not only is it refreshing to not hear the word "like" ( I'd like to add "literally" as well)every other word, but she also doesn't have that oh so irritating vocal fry. Very bright, articulate & an actually (gasp) enjoyable teen!

I'm glad her mother is smart enough to recognize that she can't solve everything for Jazz, and has her see Dr Marilyn for a more unbiased opinion.

I'm enjoying this show thus far & am learning a lot.

I just hope by being on TV this family isn't opening themselves to anyone wanting to do something bad to them. There's a lot of sickos out there & I shudder to think about that.

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I'm not a big fan of reality tv.  My partner loves it so we end up watching quite a bit, but it just grates on me.  What gets me is how not reality it is.  I understand that they need to stage things and edit in a certain way in order to tell the story they want, but always find it so contrived and almost outrageous. I have reason to watch this show beyond my partner wanting to watch, but grr, I found myself annoyed.

 

For one, the episode focused a lot on boys but it never really got into why exactly it's such a hard issue for Jazz.  I'm not talking about just that boys would have a hard time dating a transgender girl, but also being friends with one.  Though I suppose even doing that might be a bit too controversial because it touches on issues of fragile masculinity (just linking rather than defining here because I don't want to make this a discussion here).  In short, the way we as society teach our boys leads them feel as though they need to react hostilely or violently when encountering someone who rejected the male gender they were assigned at birth.  Transwomen experience a significant amount of violence (another thing I wish had been pointed out) and I think it's very likely that Jazz is fearful of interacting with boys even just as friends because she's either experienced hostility, maybe even violence or she's aware that it's just lurking around the corner.  

 

Though, as others pointed out, I knew while watching this that the most obvious reason boys didn't show up at the bowling alley is because there was a camera crew.  I think this is why the story for this episode just fell flat because we knew the medium for telling this story (cameras, producers and editing teams) was a big reason this specific story existed in the first place (that one being boys not showing up for bowling).  

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My feeling is that the boys didn't show up simply because their parents would have to sign a release for them to appear on camera. Could there have been a boy or two who wanted to attend that co-ed event? Possibly. Overall, what I do know is, a group of parents did not want their boys on camera for one reason or another or a combination of reasons. What those reasons are, I obviously cannot comment on. I can speculate but, I won't.

 

Jazz must know that her teen years are going to be the hardest for her. She has likely been told by her mother that boys in their area know all about her transgender process since they went public. Her mom has likely tried to touch upon every scenario that Jazz would be facing as Jazz got closer to her teen years. No doubt, the dating topic has been touched upon.

 

Jazz is such a sweetheart. I would love to sit with her and have a conversation with her.

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Also, the bowling alley is not in their town - it's over 10 miles away. So asking a teenage boy to go to a reality show taping and pretend might have not agreed with them or they may not have had a ride (or even mentioned that to a parent). Likewise the ice cream shop was definitely not in the same town as the bowling alley. (this is right around where I live and I've been to several of these places). The parents were at a restaurant right around the corner from the bowling alley in Boca Raton. 

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(edited)

I just assumed the family was Jewish, although I never know if that is a cultural or religious designation. Guess I have seen too many Seinfeld episodes and the grandpa and grandma remind me of Jerry's parents. Obviously they are American. I am always on pins and needles in this forum for fear of offending someone.....

Edited by jacksgirl
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I don't see the big deal in filming in a bowling alley in a town 10 miles away; that's nothing, a ten-minute drive. Many small towns don't have a bowling alley. We travel to nearby towns all the time to try restaurants and theatres.

Maybe they're not filming in their own town on purpose, maybe they just prefer the facilities in the next town over. I don't see that that's indicative of something nefarious or suspect.

Jazz is adorable.

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We have a bowling Alley in our little village, but we always drive the 10 minutes to Lake George to go bowling.  Their place is much nicer.  I think they keep it nicer for the tourists.  One of the few times I'm thankful for the tourists.  I'm usually so happy after Labor Day when they all go home.  Lol

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The bowling alley is more like 20-25 minutes away (with bad traffic). I pass the ice cream place every day on the way to work. IMHO the parents are simultaneously trying to protect their child by moving the locations all around two different counties but then publicizing her in a very limited and calculated way. It's not reality (and yes, I'm well aware that "reality" shows do this all the time, it's just my big beef) 

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I read somewhere that her nationality is Brazilian and Italian. 

I'm wondering if this show is placing way too much emphasis on Jazz being interested in boys and dating. I have 2 sons, both in college now and maybe it's just our town, but neither of mine was interested in girls until they were 16 and 17. One has had 2 relationships and the younger one has been on a few dates, no serious girlfriend. Do all of Jazz's friends have this much interest in boys now, (since they're only in 8th grade) or is this something the show has played up for drama?

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I won't speak for all kids out there, but  working as a sub with late elementary and middle school children across 2 school districts, I've found that everywhere I go, girls generally start getting interested in boys in 5th/6th grade, and by 7th and 8th, boys and boyfriends are the overwhelming topics of conversation/source of consternation. So many girls that age can be so, um, forward. My son was in 5th grade last year and had a "kind of girlfriend", and her best friend passed him a note with 35 reasons he should not be interested in his "kind of girlfriend" and should be interested in her, and a large rift occurred with a whole bunch of girls taking sides, leaving my poor son bewildered. That was just one of many incidents involving girls and arguments and boys.

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I read somewhere that her nationality is Brazilian and Italian. 

I'm wondering if this show is placing way too much emphasis on Jazz being interested in boys and dating. I have 2 sons, both in college now and maybe it's just our town, but neither of mine was interested in girls until they were 16 and 17. One has had 2 relationships and the younger one has been on a few dates, no serious girlfriend. Do all of Jazz's friends have this much interest in boys now, (since they're only in 8th grade) or is this something the show has played up for drama?

The girls are probably all interested in boys, but the show has also created an unscripted story.  It's staged settings, often staged topics, but a lot of it happens in the editing room.  All of these discussions about boys and such likely happened over a period of a couple of weeks and then is pieced together to look as though it was a day or two.  

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(edited)

It doesn't seem to me that Jazz has a crush on any particular boy, more that she's offended and insulted that they have no interest in her. That can be just as hurtful to a young girl as having an unrequited crush. 

 

I clearly recall 50 years ago attending a high school sorority party - wearing my cousin's hand-me-down  knock-off Chanel suit! - asking a boy to dance, and him saying flatly, "no." It wasn't so much I was interested in him, but I felt uncomfortable and defeated by his response. 

 

Edited because I'm 66, not 76.

Edited by CousinAmy
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Do all of Jazz's friends have this much interest in boys now, (since they're only in 8th grade) or is this something the show has played up for drama?

I have three adopted nieces, 14, 13 and 11. The boy stuff started for them about 11-12 (and they live in a small more traditional town).  Even though the emphasis has been put on them to put their efforts forth in school, sports, etc. They have done much better since they lost access to the internet/ facebook/ snapchat/ instagram via my daughter got custody of them and started by taking away electronic devices and passwording the internet. Now they are straight A students, polite and interesting instead of slumped over robots with two thumbs tap-tapping in a frenzy. 

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Not sure, but according to their Wiki, "Jennings" is a pseudonym. I might guess Cuban since they're in south Florida, but I'm really not sure.

They said they grew up.in the same town as children and her parents have only recently relocated from NY. It did make me wonder what the deal.with his family was because her mother mentioned that there weren't other grandparents that she could initially reach out to.dealing with this issue.

They have clearly raised their children right because many teenager brothers wouldn't be sensitive of their little sisters insecurities to her, protective of her for the guys she might date and playfully tormenting her.

I did come around to the idea that her friends so see her as the girl she is that they find it weird that boys would act differently towards her, naive but sweet at the same time.

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That's the problem, they want privacy but doing a TLC show is going to get them recognized by a lot of people.  This could easily start to become sensationalized like Caitlyn Jenner or even Kate Plus Eight.  The last thing this girl needs is tabloid media attention.  I do think having the cameras on her and her friends affects things, like boys not showing up for bowling.  I can even see some parents telling their kids they don't want them getting filmed by TLC.  The trouble with reality shows, the reality is relative.

Edited by Dobian
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That's the problem, they want privacy but doing a TLC show is going to get them recognized by a lot of people.  This could easily start to become sensationalized like Caitlyn Jenner or even Kate Plus Eight.  The last thing this girl needs is tabloid media attention.  I do think having the cameras on her and her friends affects things, like boys not showing up for bowling.  I can even see some parents telling their kids they don't want them getting filmed by TLC.  The trouble with reality shows, the reality is relative.

 

Agreed, 100%.  I have to say, there's no way in hell I'd allow my 14-year-old daughter to be filmed by TLC, whether it's with Jazz, Kate and her eight, or any of the assorted little people who have reality shows on the channel.

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This show appears very heavily scripted and edited to me. I think the parents have managed to get a lot of control over what's shown and how. Still, there's the disturbing matter of a child's life being exposed on a reality TV show in the first place. 

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That's the problem, they want privacy but doing a TLC show is going to get them recognized by a lot of people.

There have been lots of articles about Jazz and her family over the years in the media. She's been on the local news several times. She's doing commercials for acne meds. (anybody with Google can check these things out) That doesn't scream privacy to me. IMHO they are no different than a lot of reality stars - straddling the line between putting an (edited) version of her life "out there" but wanting "privacy". Again IMHO if they want privacy for their kid, don't put her on a reality show 

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