Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[Sandman87]

Saw a commercial for the X-Hose today. I can't help wondering if the "X" in the name means X-rated, since it's a garden hose that gets an erection when you use it.

[Ubiquitous]

I keep meaning to ask about this, but I noticed the black guy in those Old Spice ads is now interrupted by a screaming lunatic. Am I sppsd to know who this is?

[Trini]

I keep meaning to ask about this, but I noticed the black guy in those Old Spice ads is now interrupted by a screaming lunatic. Am I sppsd to know who this is?

 

It's Terry Crews, who has been in a bunch of stuff, including his own series of Old Spice ads.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Then she gushes about how it now has 30% more icing. So, you're psyched about pumping *more* sugar into your kid?

That isn't necessarily true. The icing is a relatively small portion of the whole, so they could have cut down the filling and used the sugar they saved from that for more icing.

[90PercentGravity]

Even though I know what they are saying, this always sounds like "We are diapers"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=17&v=BwBHgMF3XcE

[CarpeDiem54]

Even though I know what they are saying, this always sounds like "We are diapers"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=17&v=BwBHgMF3XcE

It alternated between "We are diapers" to "We are dime bless". Are they trying to say "timeless"?

[Muffyn]

I am pretty sure they are timeless diapers.  After all, diapers are timeless. 

[janie jones]

I agree that it's probably actually "timeless," but it sounds like "time plugs" to me.

[Aquarius]

I am pretty sure they are timeless diapers.  After all, diapers are timeless. 

 

Only if they're gold-plated.

[DeLurker]

I think the estimate is that it takes 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose and 2 billion go into landfills each year. 

 

Not timeless individually, but close.  Collectively?  Yeah.

[90PercentGravity]

Do people who make anti-smoking ads not realize that lingering shots of people smoking makes people who have quit or are trying to quit want to smoke all that much more?

[LoneHaranguer]

 

I think the estimate is that it takes 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose and 2 billion go into landfills each year.

And some people say we don;t make products that last any more.

Seriously though, there are techniques for breaking down just about any waste (including radioactive material), but so far it hasn't been worth doing.

[peacheslatour]

I may be mistaken, but I don't think a PO Box qualifies as a street address.

When I was a florist, I had a couple of people get irate with for saying "No we need a street address, this is a P.O. box" and they'd shout "But that's Recipients ADDRESS!!"

[Brattinella]

Do people who make anti-smoking ads not realize that lingering shots of people smoking makes people who have quit or are trying to quit want to smoke all that much more?

 

One of the more interesting things in the anti-smoking ads is, no one has a LIT cigarette.  They are fresh, new ciggies, unsmoked.

[90PercentGravity]

Not the ones they have here. There are adds for a quit smoking hotline called "Ashline" and they show people smoking cigarettes with smoke rolling out and then it switches to some image that is supposed to be startling. But all it does is make me want to smoke, something I haven't done for over 5 years. 

 

Here is one. I also always think this is a Carl's Je/Hardee's commercial at first for some reason.

 

[xaxat]

I just saw a trailer for Tea Leoni's show Madam Secretary. I've never watched the show, and the only thing I know about it is that she's playing the Secretary of State. But in the trailer, Morgan Freeman(!) is giving her the Presidential Oath of Office.

 

So the President, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House and the President pro tempore of the Senate are all dead/missing?

[Prevailing Wind]

Let's hope it's a dream sequence.

[Brattinella]

Not the ones they have here. There are adds for a quit smoking hotline called "Ashline" and they show people smoking cigarettes with smoke rolling out and then it switches to some image that is supposed to be startling. But all it does is make me want to smoke, something I haven't done for over 5 years. 

 

Here is one. I also always think this is a Carl's Je/Hardee's commercial at first for some reason.

 

 

Wow!  That's a humdinger!

[Aquarius]

Not the ones they have here. There are adds for a quit smoking hotline called "Ashline" and they show people smoking cigarettes with smoke rolling out and then it switches to some image that is supposed to be startling. But all it does is make me want to smoke, something I haven't done for over 5 years. 

 

Here is one. I also always think this is a Carl's Je/Hardee's commercial at first for some reason.

 

 

Wow.  I thought the ones that play in the NY area where people are missing body parts, teeth and hair due to smoking (never really understood the correlation nor tried to) were bad.  That takes it to a whole new level.

[proserpina65]

Wow.  I thought the ones that play in the NY area where people are missing body parts, teeth and hair due to smoking (never really understood the correlation nor tried to) were bad.  That takes it to a whole new level.

Those are meant to emphasis that smoking has severe health side effects other than cancer or lung disease.  I don't know how effective they were at encouraging smokers to quit, but I thought they were quite dramatic commercials.

[Aquarius]

Those are meant to emphasis that smoking has severe health side effects other than cancer or lung disease.  I don't know how effective they were at encouraging smokers to quit, but I thought they were quite dramatic commercials.

 

Yes, I agree they are quite dramatic.  But most of the smokers I know joke about them - "Now they're telling me my fingers will fall off from smoking!  Give me a break!"  So I doubt they're very effective.

[xaxat]

According to the people running the New York state anti-smoking campaign, there is a correlation between how often the ads are run and how many people call the helpline. So they are effective in that sense.

[Aquarius]

According to the people running the New York state anti-smoking campaign, there is a correlation between how often the ads are run and how many people call the helpline. So they are effective in that sense.

 

I guess.  Unless those people are calling to ask how smoking will make their fingers fall off.

 

Seriously, though, I have doubts about the whole effectiveness of these types of television campaigns for lifestyle issues.  I suppose they serve a purpose, but in my experience people don't really change until something hits close to home.  A health issue or scare for you or someone you know.  (Because of our culture and the perceived relationship we have with celebrities, their health issues count).  That's when the "holy crap - that could happen to me!" reaction kicks in.  I suppose raising awareness is good to a degree, but I don't think it's the most effective way to get people to actually change their behavior.  Of course, I'm not an expert and I guess every attempt at good is a good attempt.

[peacheslatour]

Yes, I agree they are quite dramatic.  But most of the smokers I know joke about them - "Now they're telling me my fingers will fall off from smoking!  Give me a break!"  So I doubt they're very effective.

That's like the ad for the addiction recovery center where the spokesman says "I should know, I was an addict for ten years."  I always think "Pfft, lightweight".

[Cobalt Stargazer]

That's like the ad for the addiction recovery center where the spokesman says "I should know, I was an addict for ten years."  I always think "Pfft, lightweight".

 

I hate that ad, and the guy in the ad. For one thing, that's not how addiction works. Even if you quit using your substance of choice, you're still mostly addicted to it. Its just a dumb concept, not to mention misleading.

[St. Claire]

For one thing, that's not how addiction works. Even if you quit using your substance of choice, you're still mostly addicted to it. Its just a dumb concept, not to mention misleading.

 

This is one of those places that claims that addiction isn't an ongoing disease, though, which is why they say 12 step programs don't work. There's a position that says that addictions can be cured, not just controlled, and Passages is one of the places that espouses that viewpoint. I disagree with that stance, personally, and I know plenty of people for whom 12 step programs are quite successful (my uncle has been clean and sober for almost 35 years).

Edited October 1, 2015 by St. Claire

[Blergh]

OK, here's my head scratcher re the 'gluten free engineer' one.

   He talks about how he's glad they've made the cereal gluten-free so he can have Cheerios with his gluten- sensative daughter-in-law any time. Okay, that's fine and dandy . However;  since the commercial seems to also show a small boy playing in the background, and no sign of either the boy's father or any grandmother, does this mean that that these family members have died and this  aged engineer is spending his twilight years   helping his widowed daughter-in-law raise his late son's child? Yeah, it's none of my business since I don't know any of them but that's what crossed my mind.

[Aquarius]

OK, here's my head scratcher re the 'gluten free engineer' one.

   He talks about how he's glad they've made the cereal gluten-free so he can have Cheerios with his gluten- sensative daughter-in-law any time. Okay, that's fine and dandy . However;  since the commercial seems to also show a small boy playing in the background, and no sign of either the boy's father or any grandmother, does this mean that that these family members have died and this  aged engineer is spending his twilight years   helping his widowed daughter-in-law raise his late son's child? Yeah, it's none of my business since I don't know any of them but that's what crossed my mind.

I always took it to mean the man's son was at work and his daughter-in-law was a stay at home mom. Never really thought about the engineer's wife. Maybe he's divorced.

[theatremouse]

I just figured in the commercial universe, nobody else was home right now.

[pandora spocks]

I hate that ad, and the guy in the ad. For one thing, that's not how addiction works. Even if you quit using your substance of choice, you're still mostly addicted to it. Its just a dumb concept, not to mention misleading.

 

The guy in the ad is a smug asshole who doesn't know the addiction concept.  It's depressing to know such an ignoramus is in a leadership position.

 

Does anybody else find it odd that a restaurant would have a fireman's pole (?) close enough to patrons to facilitate antacid advice from firefighters?  I'd never frequent such a place.

[Brattinella]

The guy in the ad is a smug asshole who doesn't know the addiction concept.  It's depressing to know such an ignoramus is in a leadership position.

 

Does anybody else find it odd that a restaurant would have a fireman's pole (?) close enough to patrons to facilitate antacid advice from firefighters?  I'd never frequent such a place.

 

The smug asshole says that he himself was CURED.  Passages, right?  I think for a 30-day stay in their rehab it is about $75k.  Truly.

[90PercentGravity]

This is an interesting ted talk about addiction: 

 

Twelve-step programs only work 5 - 10 percent of the time. When they don't work, it can cause more damage than not having done the program at all. 

[Brattinella]

This is an interesting ted talk about addiction: 

 

Twelve-step programs only work 5 - 10 percent of the time. When they don't work, it can cause more damage than not having done the program at all. 

 

 

It worked for me, and for many of my friends.  Long-term sobriety.

[smittykins]

The smug asshole says that he himself was CURED.  Passages, right?  I think for a 30-day stay in their rehab it is about $75k.  Truly.

From what I've read, Passages and its ilk are basically dry-out places for the rich.

[DeLurker]

Going into a private rehab is often offered up to get a wealthy person out of legal trouble - the person or their family would rather pay big bucks for a stay rather than do whatever penalty the great unwashed would have to do for a similar offense.   Case in point:  Affluenza

[Brattinella]

Going into a private rehab is often offered up to get a wealthy person out of legal trouble - the person or their family would rather pay big bucks for a stay rather than do whatever penalty the great unwashed would have to do for a similar offense.   Case in point:  Affluenza

This case STILL makes me want to spit nails!  Of all the bullshit excuses for bad behavior!  His parents need to be locked up, too.

[sofaslug]

Yes, I agree they are quite dramatic. But most of the smokers I know joke about them - "Now they're telling me my fingers will fall off from smoking! Give me a break!" So I doubt they're very effective.

Several years ago I worked in a halfway house and one of the residents was confined to a wheelchair because he had lost a leg, the foot on his other leg and several fingers due to smoking. He was being transferred to a nursing home because he was going to lose more of his other leg. This was due to his smoking and it wasn't enough to get him to quit. Every time I see that ad I think of him.

[riley702]

:(

[Cobalt Stargazer]

For a second, I thought I was in hell.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5q51-pVzc0

 

Now I'm just wondering what Du Hast has to do with American Horror Story.

[90PercentGravity]

For a second, I thought I was in hell.

 

 

Now I'm just wondering what Du Hast has to do with American Horror Story.

Obviously... Du hast eine Frage.

 

 

Didn't Katy Holmes already dump Beady?

 

Edited October 5, 2015 by 90PercentGravity

[CarpeDiem54]

Obviously... Du hast eine Frage.

 

 

Didn't Katy Holmes already dump Beady?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmFjblPiFyo

Who or what is a Beady? And, wow, I've never actually seen Kay Holmes in anything except pictures. I didn't realize her face is so out of alignment when she speaks.

[Brattinella]

Oh God I was laughing about BEADY just last night!  She has Bell's Palsy, and will probably get over it.

[riley702]

Who or what is a Beady? 

Thank you. I was wondering this myself. Is she mangling the word "beauty"? Is she trying to say BB (as in BB cream)? For fun, I looked up acronyms for BD and came up with these possibilities for what she's taking into her own hands:

 

Behavioral disorder?

Baby daddy? Heh.

Big dog? 

Bondage and domination?

Big disappointment? (CATC?)

Baby diva? (Suri?)

Broadcast domain?

Bipolar disorder?

 

OK, that might have been more fun than the actual commercial.

Edited October 5, 2015 by riley702

[Ubiquitous]

I was watching this new ad with a guy doing things with his old dog and crossing items off a list. At the end, I realized he was working on his dog's "bucket list". How depressing!

[Brattinella]

Thank you. I was wondering this myself. Is she mangling the word "beauty"? Is she trying to say BB (as in BB cream)? For fun, I looked up acronyms for BD and came up with these possibilities for what she's taking into her own hands:

 

Behavioral disorder?

Baby daddy? Heh.

Big dog? 

Bondage and domination?

Big disappointment? (CATC?)

Baby diva? (Suri?)

Broadcast domain?

Bipolar disorder?

 

OK, that might have been more fun than the actual commercial.

 

I THINK she is actually trying to say the word "Beauty".  But it comes out BEEDY.  I was leaning more to BEEDY-BEEDY. (Mel Blanc)

[Sandman87]

I just saw a commercial for a line of stuffed animals called Ugly Snugglies. I guess that mentally damaged plush toys must be all the rage now, because each and every one of them is making one of those scrambled-brains faces that cartoon characters make when they get hit on the head by a giant mallet. But that's not what has me scratching my head. No, what I want to know is why they thought it would be a good idea to install Unusual Unicorn's alarm clock in exactly the place where its rectum should be. I can just imagine the hilarity that's likely to ensue involving sleepy children and family pets.

[smittykins]

I was watching this new ad with a guy doing things with his old dog and crossing items off a list. At the end, I realized he was working on his dog's "bucket list". How depressing!

Well, there was the real-life case a few years ago where a young couple found out that their unborn son had a fatal brain disorder, so they made a bucket list for him, which they completed while he was still in the womb.

At least the dog in the commercial lived a long life.

Edited October 5, 2015 by smittykins

[Brattinella]

I just saw a commercial for a line of stuffed animals called Ugly Snugglies. I guess that mentally damaged plush toys must be all the rage now, because each and every one of them is making one of those scrambled-brains faces that cartoon characters make when they get hit on the head by a giant mallet. But that's not what has me scratching my head. No, what I want to know is why they thought it would be a good idea to install Unusual Unicorn's alarm clock in exactly the place where its rectum should be. I can just imagine the hilarity that's likely to ensue involving sleepy children and family pets.

 

Okay.  I MUST look this up now!

[yourmomiseasy]

Going into a private rehab is often offered up to get a wealthy person out of legal trouble - the person or their family would rather pay big bucks for a stay rather than do whatever penalty the great unwashed would have to do for a similar offense.   Case in point:  Affluenza

I used to have a really good benefits package and had it all figured out how I could take a free vacation at Passages -- those type of rehab centers always look really nice and relaxing on TV.  I'd even be able to still collect 100% of my paycheck without using any vacation days.  I only had 2 problems: 1.) I'd have to pay to board my dogs for a month and 2.) I'd never be able to drink in public again.  I thought about going for some other type of addiction like internet addiction, but those facilities didn't look as nice.  I guess the third problem is it felt really shady and I probably wouldn't be able to pull the lie off, but it was fun to daydream.

 

 

I just saw a trailer for Tea Leoni's show Madam Secretary. I've never watched the show, and the only thing I know about it is that she's playing the Secretary of State. But in the trailer, Morgan Freeman(!) is giving her the Presidential Oath of Office.

 

So the President, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House and the President pro tempore of the Senate are all dead/missing?

 

It was on last night and yes.

[CarpeDiem54]

Okay.  I MUST look this up now!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t5UEmNE9_RY

Okay, the little girl dry humping that blue stuffed animal is disturbing.