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Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads


Lola16
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Did Marie Osmond disown her family? "I'm MARIE and I lost fifty pounds on Nutra System". Also, she keeps saying it's not a diet, but the phone number they give at the end is something like "call 1-800-358-DIET. WTF?

None of their commercials, except for 1 with Genie Francis (Laura on General Hospital) as celebrity spokeswoman, really use anyone's last name--including Marie Osmond's (that I've seen, anyway). But, she's also been a Guest Co-Host on CBS' The Talk in the last year or so & the last few times she's been on, in the opening credits, they've just referred to her as "Marie" too (shrugs).

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Wow, those TD bank commercials I'm not sure where to begin!

 

 

I *knew* there was a reason I don't like yogurt...:P

I've said it before; Yoplait isn't real yogurt.

 

I saw this ad for denture adhesive which features a giant mouth with dentures (or maybe a tiny woman) who is standing on the dentures and falls off b/c they're shifting and rocking. They're a subtitle which reads "simulation", so I guess I won't feel bad about her falling to her death?

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I saw this ad for denture adhesive which features a giant mouth with dentures (or maybe a tiny woman) who is standing on the dentures and falls off b/c they're shifting and rocking. They're a subtitle which reads "simulation", so I guess I won't feel bad about her falling to her death?

That woman is a terrible actress.

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I saw this ad for denture adhesive which features a giant mouth with dentures (or maybe a tiny woman) who is standing on the dentures and falls off b/c they're shifting and rocking. They're a subtitle which reads "simulation", so I guess I won't feel bad about her falling to her death?

 

Either that or that so you won't think she was actually standing on someone's dentures/.

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Er ...

 

[Floor & Decor: Cyclops]

I think Floor & Decor created a commercial that was so random, it became snark-proof.  Bravo to them, I suppose.

 

Oddly enough, one of the last lines of the commercial did actually remind me of The Odyssey.  The narrator says, "No one beats our selection, and no one beats our prices."

 

I slightly edited this Wikipedia quote for brevity:

 

Odysseus offers Polyphemus [the Cyclops] some strong and undiluted wine given to him earlier on his journey. Drunk and unwary, the giant asks Odysseus his name, promising him a guest-gift if he answers. Odysseus tells him [...] "no one," and Polyphemus promises to eat this "Nobody" last of all. With that, he falls into a drunken sleep. Odysseus had meanwhile hardened a wooden stake in the fire and now drives it into Polyphemus' eye. When Polyphemus shouts for help from his fellow giants, saying that "Nobody" has hurt him, they think Polyphemus is being afflicted by divine power and recommend prayer as the answer.

Basically, that's a long way of saying that only Odysseus can give you better selection & prices on your floor and decor needs.

Edited by erikdepressant
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A commercial nearly gave me whiplash a minute ago. I heard "This Greek nonfat yogurt packs 15 grams of protein fudge!" Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not something I'd expect to hear on the Hallmark channel. I had to back up the DVR and watch it about 4 times before I could be sure that what he was really saying was "15 grams of protein punch!"

I guess poor enunciation is one of the hazards of using football players as spokespeople.

Incidentally, it was for Dannon Oikos yogurt.

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To me, Fage is the most satisfying yogurt on the planet. I love the plain stuff as is or as a substitute for other thick dairy foods like sour cream or cream cheese. I haven't seen a whole lot of commercials for it lately, though I did see the Bobby Flay one.

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I just saw an ad for The Ultimate Fighter.  As has become more common, the fighter speaking/boasting tends to drop the "t" sound at the start of the last syllable.  Much to my surprise, he announced he is an instagay-or.  So he instantly makes people gay?  Fortunately the commercial provided a visual clue.  It seems he is an instigator.  

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I don't understand why Holsteins are leading the charge in the Chick Fil A ads urging people to eat more chicken. 

 

They're Holstein cows. The get to lead a relatively comfortable life producing milk and making cute ads for the California dairy people compared to their Angus brethren.

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Every time I see Flay or his name, my mind's ear hears Letterman, in a Jerry Lewis voice, saying, "Bobby FLAAA-aaaay."  I'm not sure why.

Curses! I was getting a drink at my brother's at brunch and they had Fage in the fridge do I instantly heard Jerry Lewis!

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I just saw that ad and not once did the "very pregnant woman" jump on the bed. She's standing on the bed but she never jumps.

 

Please forgive me for saying "jumping."

She was standing on the bed and it made me nervous. That is all  I was trying to say

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Thanks to this, I am now hearing Jerry Lewis saying, "HEEY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYY!" on a loop in my head. Jerk. :-P

A few years ago I was trying to back into a parking space on a really busy street.  I had some friends in the car and for some unknown reason we had been doing Jerry Lewis impersonations.  There was someone standing in the parking space, so we all yelled out in our best Jerry Lewis voices "Hey Laaaaaaaaaadeeeeeeeee!"  The person turned around; it was a cop.  He was not amused.

 

On topic:  Since the Charmin bears don't wear pants, the one called Skidz has been leaving skid marks all over the furniture.  Damn those bears for putting these thoughts into my head.  

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I've seen this a million times and just noticed the guy in glasses at the beginning is wearing a dress?

That's all I'll see when the commercial comes on now.  Kudos to State Farm for almost acknowledging the trans community?  Celebrity endorsement time!

 

Wife at 3 a.m.: "What are you wearing, Cait from State Farm?"

Caitlyn Jenner: "Uh... my obnoxious publicity machine.  Would you like to interview me?"

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That's all I'll see when the commercial comes on now.  Kudos to State Farm for almost acknowledging the trans community?  Celebrity endorsement time!

 

Wife at 3 a.m.: "What are you wearing, Cait from State Farm?"

Caitlyn Jenner: "Uh... my obnoxious publicity machine.  Would you like to interview me?"

 

 

Hahahahaha

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First of all, the flailing kids in this ad make me stabby. Hold still! Secondly, I thought the most obnoxious kid, the last one, was too old for a car seat so I looked up our laws. The law in Colorado states kids have to use a car seat until they're 8, but they recommend kids use them until they're 12. They can't ride in the front seat until they're 13. WTF! That just seems a bit too "special snowflake" to me. I'm glad I was born in the 1950's. I could sit in the front seat. We didn't even have a car with seatbelts until I was 12. I didn't have to dress in full body armor to ride my bike.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7jy4/graco-4ever-car-seat

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First of all, the flailing kids in this ad make me stabby. Hold still! Secondly, I thought the most obnoxious kid, the last one, was too old for a car seat so I looked up our laws.

And since the seat advertised is from Graco, expect it to be featured in a product recall in the next few months.

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First of all, the flailing kids in this ad make me stabby. Hold still! Secondly, I thought the most obnoxious kid, the last one, was too old for a car seat so I looked up our laws. The law in Colorado states kids have to use a car seat until they're 8, but they recommend kids use them until they're 12. They can't ride in the front seat until they're 13. WTF! That just seems a bit too "special snowflake" to me. I'm glad I was born in the 1950's. I could sit in the front seat. We didn't even have a car with seatbelts until I was 12. I didn't have to dress in full body armor to ride my bike.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7jy4/graco-4ever-car-seat

My sister had told me one time that there was a move to have kids in carseats until they reach 80 pounds.   She was in support of it.   I said "there are girls taking driver's ed who weigh 80 pounds."  a slight exaggeration, but come on, you can't have junior high kids in carseats!   How would parents be able to carpool to sports events, scouts, band, etc.? 

 

I appreciate safety standards.  I hate hearing  people say they're unnecessary because "We didn't have them when I was a kid, and we lived,"   because, frankly - some kids didn't.  And those kids still have family members who wish there HAD been seatbelts, bike helmets, etc,, in our day. 

 

BUT - carseats for kids past a certain age or weight approaches being ridiculous.  

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