Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[OSM Mom]

The very pregnant woman jumping on the bed.

That is all.

You mean wildly gyrating and then rolling around on it. Yeah. Gtfo lady.

[peacheslatour]

Did Marie Osmond disown her family?  "I'm MARIE and I lost fifty pounds on Nutra System".  Also, she keeps saying it's not a diet, but the phone number they give at the end is something like "call 1-800-358-DIET.  WTF?

[Rick Kitchen]

I was on NutriSystem for a month and yes, I lost a lot of weight, but their food is horrible.

[arejay]

I was on NutriSystem for a month and yes, I lost a lot of weight, but their food is horrible.

More likely BECAUSE their food is horrible.

[BW Manilowe]

Did Marie Osmond disown her family? "I'm MARIE and I lost fifty pounds on Nutra System". Also, she keeps saying it's not a diet, but the phone number they give at the end is something like "call 1-800-358-DIET. WTF?

None of their commercials, except for 1 with Genie Francis (Laura on General Hospital) as celebrity spokeswoman, really use anyone's last name--including Marie Osmond's (that I've seen, anyway). But, she's also been a Guest Co-Host on CBS' The Talk in the last year or so & the last few times she's been on, in the opening credits, they've just referred to her as "Marie" too (shrugs).

[90PercentGravity]

I just saw this commercial and the woman says "save up to 40% less than the big box stores," doesn't that mean you are spending more?

 

[Brattinella]

Durrr.

[Taylorh2]

The very pregnant woman jumping on the bed.

 

That is all.

 

I just saw that ad and not once did the "very pregnant woman" jump on the bed. She's standing on the bed but she never jumps.

[ennui]

The general American TV-watching public is itself the lowest rung on the ladder.

Aren't we all members of the general public?  *confused*

[erikdepressant]

Aren't we all members of the general public?  *confused*

We're the elite members of the public.

[Ubiquitous]

Wow, those TD bank commercials I'm not sure where to begin!

 

 

I *knew* there was a reason I don't like yogurt...:P

I've said it before; Yoplait isn't real yogurt.

 

I saw this ad for denture adhesive which features a giant mouth with dentures (or maybe a tiny woman) who is standing on the dentures and falls off b/c they're shifting and rocking. They're a subtitle which reads "simulation", so I guess I won't feel bad about her falling to her death?

[Rick Kitchen]

Er ...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97eOc2D1R3U

[xaxat]

 

Announcer: "Now the only thing you don't know. . . "

 

Me:"Is how you are going to get down."

 

I'm not a good person.

[meep.meep]

I just saw that ad and not once did the "very pregnant woman" jump on the bed. She's standing on the bed but she never jumps.

 

Are there any with very pregnant men?

Standing on a bed is probably good for your core.

[janie jones]

I saw this ad for denture adhesive which features a giant mouth with dentures (or maybe a tiny woman) who is standing on the dentures and falls off b/c they're shifting and rocking. They're a subtitle which reads "simulation", so I guess I won't feel bad about her falling to her death?

That woman is a terrible actress.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I saw this ad for denture adhesive which features a giant mouth with dentures (or maybe a tiny woman) who is standing on the dentures and falls off b/c they're shifting and rocking. They're a subtitle which reads "simulation", so I guess I won't feel bad about her falling to her death?

 

Either that or that so you won't think she was actually standing on someone's dentures/.

[xaxat]

https://youtu.be/_ZwJr5_lB4M

 

In this trailer for NBC's upcoming show Blindspot, one of the FBI characters asks why someone would put tattoos all over their Jane Doe.

 

I have the same question! The gorgeous Jaime Alexander gets a network show and you cover her character in tattoos?

 

Shame on you!

[erikdepressant]

Er ...

 

[Floor & Decor: Cyclops]

I think Floor & Decor created a commercial that was so random, it became snark-proof.  Bravo to them, I suppose.

 

Oddly enough, one of the last lines of the commercial did actually remind me of The Odyssey.  The narrator says, "No one beats our selection, and no one beats our prices."

 

I slightly edited this Wikipedia quote for brevity:

 

Odysseus offers Polyphemus [the Cyclops] some strong and undiluted wine given to him earlier on his journey. Drunk and unwary, the giant asks Odysseus his name, promising him a guest-gift if he answers. Odysseus tells him [...] "no one," and Polyphemus promises to eat this "Nobody" last of all. With that, he falls into a drunken sleep. Odysseus had meanwhile hardened a wooden stake in the fire and now drives it into Polyphemus' eye. When Polyphemus shouts for help from his fellow giants, saying that "Nobody" has hurt him, they think Polyphemus is being afflicted by divine power and recommend prayer as the answer.

Basically, that's a long way of saying that only Odysseus can give you better selection & prices on your floor and decor needs.

Edited September 11, 2015 by erikdepressant

[Sandman87]

A commercial nearly gave me whiplash a minute ago. I heard "This Greek nonfat yogurt packs 15 grams of protein fudge!" Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not something I'd expect to hear on the Hallmark channel. I had to back up the DVR and watch it about 4 times before I could be sure that what he was really saying was "15 grams of protein punch!"

I guess poor enunciation is one of the hazards of using football players as spokespeople.

Incidentally, it was for Dannon Oikos yogurt.

[riley702]

I like Greek yogurt. Oikos is good, but I like the flavor choices of Chobani.

[Brattinella]

How many times do I have to tell you that yogurt is not food?  *crosses arms*

[Cobalt Stargazer]

No, Yoplait is not food.

[90PercentGravity]

I'm a Fage loyalist, in spite of Bobby Flay.

Edited September 11, 2015 by 90PercentGravity

[CoderLady]

To me, Fage is the most satisfying yogurt on the planet. I love the plain stuff as is or as a substitute for other thick dairy foods like sour cream or cream cheese. I haven't seen a whole lot of commercials for it lately, though I did see the Bobby Flay one.

[friendperidot]

I don't think I want a mattress with enough technology to tell me how I slept.

[arejay]

I don't think I want a mattress with enough technology to tell me how I slept.

.....nor do I want it telling other people.....just in case

[Bort]

.....nor do I want it telling other people.....just in case

Now I'm picturing my mattress telling my mother how "vigorously" I slept the other night. Therapy for all!

[Brattinella]

Now I'm picturing my mattress telling my mother how "vigorously" I slept the other night. Therapy for all!

 

LOL!  I hear ya!

[erikdepressant]

"Vigorous activity report: 3.7 minutes.  You had a better-than-average night.  Shutdown in 3... 2... 1...  See you in 16 hours."

[Prevailing Wind]

 

I'm a Fage loyalist, in spite of Bobby Flay.

Every time I see Flay or his name, my mind's ear hears Letterman, in a Jerry Lewis voice, saying, "Bobby FLAAA-aaaay."  I'm not sure why.

[Muffyn]

I just saw an ad for The Ultimate Fighter.  As has become more common, the fighter speaking/boasting tends to drop the "t" sound at the start of the last syllable.  Much to my surprise, he announced he is an instagay-or.  So he instantly makes people gay?  Fortunately the commercial provided a visual clue.  It seems he is an instigator.  

[Brattinella]

Every time I see Flay or his name, my mind's ear hears Letterman, in a Jerry Lewis voice, saying, "Bobby FLAAA-aaaay."  I'm not sure why.

 

Thanks loads.  Now I will be doing that, forevermore! :D

[erikdepressant]

The choice of color palette and backgrounds in NovoLog's "Now I Know" commercial are confusing.  How are these people able to be happy about controlling their blood sugar when they're being engulfed in a fiery nuclear holocaust?

[xaxat]

I don't understand why Holsteins are leading the charge in the Chick Fil A ads urging people to eat more chicken. 

 

They're Holstein cows. The get to lead a relatively comfortable life producing milk and making cute ads for the California dairy people compared to their Angus brethren.

[Brattinella]

Holsteins are very sweet and friendly, in my experience.

[DeLurker]

Every time I see Flay or his name, my mind's ear hears Letterman, in a Jerry Lewis voice, saying, "Bobby FLAAA-aaaay."  I'm not sure why.

Curses! I was getting a drink at my brother's at brunch and they had Fage in the fridge do I instantly heard Jerry Lewis!

[ABay]

When read or hear Blagojevich, which is admittedly not as often as I used to, I hear Jon Stewart doing it Jerry Lewis style: BlaGOOOYavich.

[meep.meep]

The Jonny Depp fragrance commercial that seems to also be a parody of the MMcC Lincoln commercials. I thought it was a SNL sketch at first. So much eye liner.

[ari333]

I just saw that ad and not once did the "very pregnant woman" jump on the bed. She's standing on the bed but she never jumps.

 

Please forgive me for saying "jumping."

She was standing on the bed and it made me nervous. That is all  I was trying to say

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Every time I see Flay or his name, my mind's ear hears Letterman, in a Jerry Lewis voice, saying, "Bobby FLAAA-aaaay."  I'm not sure why.

 

Thanks to this, I am now hearing Jerry Lewis saying, "HEEY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYY!" on a loop in my head. Jerk. :-P

[Ubiquitous]

Either that or that so you won't think she was actually standing on someone's dentures/.

"Now, thanks to modern technology, we can simulate what it would be like if someone could stand on your dentures!"

[Muffyn]

Thanks to this, I am now hearing Jerry Lewis saying, "HEEY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYY!" on a loop in my head. Jerk. :-P

A few years ago I was trying to back into a parking space on a really busy street.  I had some friends in the car and for some unknown reason we had been doing Jerry Lewis impersonations.  There was someone standing in the parking space, so we all yelled out in our best Jerry Lewis voices "Hey Laaaaaaaaaadeeeeeeeee!"  The person turned around; it was a cop.  He was not amused.

 

On topic:  Since the Charmin bears don't wear pants, the one called Skidz has been leaving skid marks all over the furniture.  Damn those bears for putting these thoughts into my head.  

[erikdepressant]

Why isn't there an Emmy Award for Outstanding Portrayal of Someone About to Collapse?

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7aFZ/life-alert-in-the-time-of-an-accident

[90PercentGravity]

I've seen this a million times and just noticed the guy in glasses at the beginning is wearing a dress?

[erikdepressant]

I've seen this a million times and just noticed the guy in glasses at the beginning is wearing a dress?

That's all I'll see when the commercial comes on now.  Kudos to State Farm for almost acknowledging the trans community?  Celebrity endorsement time!

 

Wife at 3 a.m.: "What are you wearing, Cait from State Farm?"

Caitlyn Jenner: "Uh... my obnoxious publicity machine.  Would you like to interview me?"

[Taylorh2]

That's all I'll see when the commercial comes on now.  Kudos to State Farm for almost acknowledging the trans community?  Celebrity endorsement time!

 

Wife at 3 a.m.: "What are you wearing, Cait from State Farm?"

Caitlyn Jenner: "Uh... my obnoxious publicity machine.  Would you like to interview me?"

 

 

Hahahahaha

[Brattinella]

I never noticed that before!  That's terrific!  Thanks for pointing it out!  LOL!

[CarpeDiem54]

First of all, the flailing kids in this ad make me stabby. Hold still! Secondly, I thought the most obnoxious kid, the last one, was too old for a car seat so I looked up our laws. The law in Colorado states kids have to use a car seat until they're 8, but they recommend kids use them until they're 12. They can't ride in the front seat until they're 13. WTF! That just seems a bit too "special snowflake" to me. I'm glad I was born in the 1950's. I could sit in the front seat. We didn't even have a car with seatbelts until I was 12. I didn't have to dress in full body armor to ride my bike.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7jy4/graco-4ever-car-seat

[erikdepressant]

First of all, the flailing kids in this ad make me stabby. Hold still! Secondly, I thought the most obnoxious kid, the last one, was too old for a car seat so I looked up our laws.

And since the seat advertised is from Graco, expect it to be featured in a product recall in the next few months.

[backformore]

First of all, the flailing kids in this ad make me stabby. Hold still! Secondly, I thought the most obnoxious kid, the last one, was too old for a car seat so I looked up our laws. The law in Colorado states kids have to use a car seat until they're 8, but they recommend kids use them until they're 12. They can't ride in the front seat until they're 13. WTF! That just seems a bit too "special snowflake" to me. I'm glad I was born in the 1950's. I could sit in the front seat. We didn't even have a car with seatbelts until I was 12. I didn't have to dress in full body armor to ride my bike.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7jy4/graco-4ever-car-seat

My sister had told me one time that there was a move to have kids in carseats until they reach 80 pounds.   She was in support of it.   I said "there are girls taking driver's ed who weigh 80 pounds."  a slight exaggeration, but come on, you can't have junior high kids in carseats!   How would parents be able to carpool to sports events, scouts, band, etc.? 

 

I appreciate safety standards.  I hate hearing  people say they're unnecessary because "We didn't have them when I was a kid, and we lived,"   because, frankly - some kids didn't.  And those kids still have family members who wish there HAD been seatbelts, bike helmets, etc,, in our day. 

 

BUT - carseats for kids past a certain age or weight approaches being ridiculous.