S01.E10: A Big Bates Thanksgiving

[Absolom]

A super-sized family dinner at Gil's parents' farm.

 

[woodscommaelle]

The grandparents dancing? Way too cute!

Found it super disrespectful that Carlin (??) didn't get off the table when her grandmother was kind of freaking out about her dirty shoes up there. Move the table and get a ladder!

Edited March 6, 2015 by woodscommaelle

[andromeda331]

Found it super disrespectful that Carlin (??) didn't get off the table when her grandmother was kind of freaking out about her dirty shoes up there. Move the table and get a ladder!

 

 

Or take off the table clothes and put them back on after she was finished. She laughed but I'm with her grandmother, I wouldn't want to eat on a table where someone was walking around on it with their shoes. That's gross.

 

 

Loved the dancing! That was adorable! And one of the boys joined into dance with his grandma? Too cute.

Edited March 6, 2015 by andromeda331

[Mountainair]

Was it just me or did no one, especially Gil's Brother and Sister in Law, want the Bates around. They seemed to be hiding their disdain for them and their lifestyle rather unwell. I wouldn't want all those people at my house either but some of the comments they made were very mean spirited.

[Misslindsey]

I thought the grandmother just wasn't a fan of all the chaos, and possibly cooking for all of them. The sister-in-law seemed to have a connection with Erin, but I did like that their relatives were honest about not agreeing with their religious choices, but loving the family. I feel like in other reality shows, they might have sugarcoated the families feelings toward the Gil, Kelly and the family. It would be nice for the grandparents if maybe someone else took up the chore of having holidays at their houses. I was like the grandmother that I like my family visiting, but am also glad when they leave in a few days too, especially when my nieces and nephew come.

 

I was fine with Carlin on the table. It seemed like a silly thing to do. I was fine with the grandmother being irritated too. I was like just turn the plastic table cloth over.

 

I loved the dancing. So does that mean the Bates family isn't as strict on the no dancing rule as the Duggars are? 

 

I am not a big fan of kids, even though there are some exceptions. I think Jeb is adorable. I did like that Gil helped him pack and that he wanted to pack in his bucket.

 

Another thing I liked was that Kelly gave all the kids guidelines on packing, but each kid did their own. I am sure the younger kids got some help though.

[CarolMK]

I enjoyed this episode, though I agree it's getting to be too much for Grandma to host all those people at their house. It would make a lot more sense for them to come to Tennessee. So Gil has one brother and one sister who also live on their parent's property in their own houses? Except for the one niece, none of their kids or spouses were shown.  Neither was Alyssa's husband, but it seems like he doesn't feel very comfortable around the camera anyway. 

 

Interesting to see Grandma wearing pants and the grandparents dancing. It shows that Gil and Kelly found Gothard and then converted their views, neither of them was raised that way. It'll be interesting to see in years to come how many of the Bates kids become more mainstream. 

[nccueagle84]

Neither was Alyssa's husband, but it seems like he doesn't feel very comfortable around the camera.

I saw her husband at least once I believe, when they were taking the family picture he was standing beside/behind Alyssa b/c I think Chad asked him to get on the end or something to that effect. Otherwise he didnt get any major camera time.

I thought it was odd that some of the family didnt stay with the sister or the brother especially since it was walking distance from each other. They said every1 stayed at grandma's house except for one of the married couples stayed at a hotel.

[alt0233]

I was super surprised to see Nathan trying to dance - the grandparents not so much since it's obvious they weren't that conservative (also grandma wearing pants!) but that they let a son join in and try.

I also noticed that a few times Brandon had an arm around Michaela - they're definitely more touchy-feely (though still in a completely chaste way) than we've seen with other courting couples. And they let M&B stay at the grandparents' house an extra day without all the family around!

Edited March 6, 2015 by alt0233

[Jenilane6]

Loved the dancing and especially loved the answer Whitney gave Zack about having another baby by next Thanksgiving!

[BitterApple]

Gil's parents were adorable, but man, did his sister have a major stick up her ass. I also thought many of her comments were passive-aggressive and mean.

Also, is it me or do Alyssa and John not enjoy being around her family? I thought they looked bored and annoyed whenever the camera panned to them in the group scenes.

I wonder why Gil's siblings didn't offer to house at least a few of the older kids each to take some of the load off Grandma.

[andromeda331]

I wonder why Gil's siblings didn't offer to house at least a few of the older kids each to take some of the load off Grandma.

 

 

That's a good question. That's a lot of work for their parents.

[Sew Sumi]

I was also shocked to see Nathan dancing with Grandma. That's verboten in Gothard circles...all that garbage about arousing desires that can't be righteously fulfilled. I hope the Board of Directors was doing something else last night, or Gil might have a lot of  'splainin' to do! I am immediately reminded of poor little Jackson dancing along with a toy in a thrift store, and how quickly Boob pulled him away, and how it was dismissed as "jumping for joy" when kids are that young (I think Jackson might have been 5 or 6 at the time). Sadly, they get that urge trained out of them tout suite. 

 

I'm glad to see someone in these circles buck the norm. 

 

As for Alyssa, I think she's pretty much already checked out of the "big family" vibe. Yes, she loves them, but not in large doses, all together. I bet she couldn't wait to get home, even though we know that most of the family traveled down there (Nightline did a special on it) in early December (confirmed by an Instagram post of Zach/Whitney on the beach with Bradley from Dec. 2).

 

eta: FTM that they must have had to tape two cake cuttings; there is NO WAY they would have known the gender of Erin's baby at Thanksgiving. She is due June 8th, and checking conception sites, she likely conceived sometime around 9/15 with a LMP of 9/1. So around 11/27 (Thanksfgiving last year), she was less than 12 weeks along. 

 

And WAIT!!! Didn't a prior episode claim that Erin didn't even tell her parents that she was pregnant until she had gotten out of the first trimester, or am I mis-remembering? Because if that's what they were selling, the timeline the show gave us doesn't add up. At.all. Like TLC manipulation bad. If she told them earlier, we're good there, but the gender thing was completely staged. No way around that one. 

Edited March 6, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[BitterApple]

Sew Sumi, are you thinking they made both a pink and a blue cake, filmed two separate scenes and then scrapped the one that wasn't needed? The timelines are so screwy on these shows I get dizzy trying to keep everything straight.

I also agree with you about Alyssa. I'm very similar to her in that I like my routines and I'm very particular about my house being orderly and neat. It's not exactly a personality type that meshes well with tons of small children and people in your space 24/7. Unlike Erin I don't think Alyssa pressured her husband to move to Tennessee in order to be closer to the family, lol.

[Sew Sumi]

Bitter Apple, to answer your question: yes. There is no other tenable solution for a Thanksgiving "reveal" when she wasn't far enough along for ANYONE to know. She is 26 weeks now, so only 10 weeks ago, which would have been in late December, would have been about the earliest they would have found out the gender. 

[JessDVD]

Sew Sumi, are you thinking they made both a pink and a blue cake, filmed two separate scenes and then scrapped the one that wasn't needed?

 

Urgh, really?! Are there really people out there who want to watch completely fake and staged footage just so they can "see" a "gender reveal"? Really?! I mean, I can totally accept that when they're filming this or that, they may ask someone to repeat something they said so they can get a different camera angle, and it's not like every minute of footage could ever be completely natural, not to mention people aren't always natural when they're being filmed anyway. But I really, really don't enjoy watching clearly staged and re-enacted footage. Just record the actual gender reveal and post it on UP's website. 

 

ETA: they *could* have done genetic testing at 12 weeks but I find that unlikely. My 2nd was due on June 11 and I had my u/s at the end of January. Unless Erin is having regular ultrasounds because of her miscarriages, she probably wouldn't have found out earlier than that.

Edited March 7, 2015 by JessDVD

[Absolom]

They may have done extra testing on the pregnancy and waited to announce it to the world after it all turned out looking good.  I think that's what I would have done.  

[andromeda331]

Don't Kelly's family live in South Carolina? Did they take two separate trips to South Carolina?

[anstar]

She did say they were there for the test results, when they went to the doctor's office in that one scene.  So it's possible they knew the *sex* (gender is NOT the same thing and sex isn't a dirty word!) earlier than a sonogram could have told them.  Given the fragility of this pregnancy, I don't think extra tests are out of the question, so timeline shenanigans might not be in play here.  I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for now. 

[BitterApple]

I'm not sure of the time between Erin's doctor's visit and Thanksgiving, but if it was relatively short would she have gotten test results back that quickly?

[Absolom]

The results only take a few days.

[trimthatfat]

Gil's sister seemed a little annoyed. I don't agree with my siblings at times, but I wouldn't make snarky comments about them on camera.

 

Gil's parents were too cute. Loved the dancing! I thought it was so cute that grandma had a few lists for the meal she was preparing. I would have flipped out at Carlin standing on the table in her outside shoes, too...gross!

 

Alyssa and John don't seem that interested in the family, but I just think Alyssa is chill in general and John is just uncomfortable. He hasn't had much time to get used to the family. The Bates are certainly an energetic bunch and John seems really shy.

[KarmaG]

I loved Grandma's honesty that the family is just too much for her to take on and she's glad it only happens rarely. I disliked the sister's snarky comments. While i appreciate her honesty that that many kids weren't for her, she didn't need to disparage her brother and his wife for their choice. It's not like she's paying their bills. I don't think they taped two reveals. I think they had actual testing done, not a sonogram and that's how they found out. Michael and Brandon weren't just left alone at Grandma's house, one of her siblings and his wife was there as well as the Grandparents.

 

I still love this family and how normal they come across.

[BitterApple]

Given that the Grandparents own 70+ acres of land, I'm assuming they have to be fairly well off. I'm wondering if they've helped Gil out financially over the years and there's some resentment from the sister. She definitely came off as very bitter.

[Absolom]

I'm the odd one out.  I don't think the sister was all that snarky, but perhaps a little too honest in her answers and production picked her less lovely ones to air.  Plus she's the one who had fertility issues so seeing the wealth of children has probably been a little tough on her over the years.  

[KarmaG]

Plus she's the one who had fertility issues so seeing the wealth of children has probably been a little tough on her over the years.  

 

I can understand that.

[trimthatfat]

I don't know anything about Gil's sister so I didn't know she had fertility issues. Does she have any children? I thought Erin mentioned that a cousin was making the reveal cake, but I may have misheard.

[Absolom]

She has at least the one daughter.  Seeing her mother overwhelmed by the large brood has to be hard plus she is also helping prepare food for close to 30 extra people over what a Thanksgiving without Gil and Kelly's bunch would be.  Plus that number is growing every year by leaps and bounds now with marriages and babies.  I think Grandma was right when she started talking about having someone else host Thanksgiving.  That's a lot to ask of someone her age. In our family the torch gets passed long before grandma is over 70.  

Edited March 9, 2015 by Absolom

[gunderda]

When my grandparents were living in their house we always had holidays there. And there was a good 30+ of all of us with all my aunts and uncles and everyone kids and then my cousin's started having kids.... and it wasn't not a large house lol 

 

Of course my grandparents did not do all of the cooking.  Everyone helped out and those that lived closer to them did the larger main courses (turkey, ham, etc...) and then my aunts usually did all the dishes and cleaned up so my grandparents didn't have to do anything.

 

But it was just easier to do it there than to have my grandparents travel somewhere.  Which is likely the situation with the Bates.  Of course it would be easier for everyone to come to the Bates' house since it would be less hassle for them to travel but probably better off that grandma and grandpa stay home and they're probably more comfortable with that. 

 

I should have been paying more attention to the episode because I didn't see any snark!

[MMLEsq]

I keep seeing references to Gil's sister.  Am I misremembering? <--it's totally possible; I was multitasking while watching. 

 

I thought the snark came from Gil's brother and his wife (so, Gil's sister-in-law, not actual blood-relative sister).  Which, in my mind, made it worse because she was being so snarky about her husband's family.

Edited March 9, 2015 by MMLEsq

[anstar]

I don't think we saw any in laws.  The "intro" flags (I can't think of what to call them) when people were on screen always said "Gil's brother" and "Gil's sister", even when they were together in talking heads, so I don't think we were seeing a couple, but both of his siblings.  Gil did say that both is brother and sister lived on the property, and that he also owned land there but hadn't built a house on it (yet.)

[MMLEsq]

I don't think we saw any in laws.  The "intro" flags (I can't think of what to call them) when people were on screen always said "Gil's brother" and "Gil's sister", even when they were together in talking heads, so I don't think we were seeing a couple, but both of his siblings.  Gil did say that both is brother and sister lived on the property, and that he also owned land there but hadn't built a house on it (yet.)

You are right.....I went back and it did say that Jenny was Gil's sister.  I don't know why I had the idea that she was his brother's wife.  I've been thinking about it some more and I agree with Absolom above -- I think Jenny's attitude might be based in part upon her own feelings/emotions/jealousy/bitterness/whatever about having had fertility issues.  

[SongbirdHollow]

I DVR'ed this and finally watched. As an extreme introvert I can't imagine living in this family or hosting them for a meal, but damned if I don't watch every episode with a huge grin on my face. Even knowing about all the Gothard stuff doesn't keep me from liking them. They just come off really well and I can't manage more than minor snark. They are getting a better edit than they did on their TLC show -- or have genuinely improved (the cynic in me says it's the former). They seem so danged happy and I hope for their sakes they really are.

[Ilovemylabs]

I DVR'ed this and finally watched. As an extreme introvert I can't imagine living in this family or hosting them for a meal, but damned if I don't watch every episode with a huge grin on my face. Even knowing about all the Gothard stuff doesn't keep me from liking them. They just come off really well and I can't manage more than minor snark. They are getting a better edit than they did on their TLC show -- or have genuinely improved (the cynic in me says it's the former). They seem so danged happy and I hope for their sakes they really are.

I like them too.  As for using the ER, many undocumented immigrants pay no taxes and use the ER too. There's a guy in prison who is having gender affirming surgery at the expense of the taxpayer.  There are lots of things that would be abuses of the system in the minds of some people.  Anyway, most states have free baby clinics for routine  shots, checkups, etc.  And I'm pretty sure in Tennessee you can get low cost kids' health care based on income.  My daughter-in-law uses it for my grandson.  I'm not sure what Gil's tax liability is.  He may be paying some taxes through his business.  In any case, that doesn't bother me much.  I can only compare them to the Duggars and they come off SO MUCH NICER, MORE GENUINE, and REAL.  You can tell Kelly knows, cares for, and loves her kids.  She has help from the older girls, but from what I've seen so far, she and Gil are in charge, unlike the Duggars.

[gunderda]

I like them too.  As for using the ER, many undocumented immigrants pay no taxes and use the ER too. There's a guy in prison who is having gender affirming surgery at the expense of the taxpayer.  There are lots of things that would be abuses of the system in the minds of some people.  Anyway, most states have free baby clinics for routine  shots, checkups, etc.  And I'm pretty sure in Tennessee you can get low cost kids' health care based on income.  My daughter-in-law uses it for my grandson.  I'm not sure what Gil's tax liability is.  He may be paying some taxes through his business.  In any case, that doesn't bother me much.  I can only compare them to the Duggars and they come off SO MUCH NICER, MORE GENUINE, and REAL.  You can tell Kelly knows, cares for, and loves her kids.  She has help from the older girls, but from what I've seen so far, she and Gil are in charge, unlike the Duggars.

I'm not sure this is a convo for this thread but wouldn't they now be required to have health insurance through the ACA?

[maraleia]

Hey guys lets make sure we are talking about what happened during the episode in this thread.

Thanks!

[Typicalstar]

Coming out of lurking to say that I was kind of shocked at how negative the other family members were of The Bates. Even the Grandma was complaining about so many kids. I realize that that's a LOT of kids/noise/etc but they are your grandchildren! But I agree with some others, The Bates should've hosted Thanksgiving or at least made some of the main dishes to take the load off of Grandma.

[Absolom]

When Grandma was on the previous show, she wasn't shy about how much disruption the Bates kids were to her house and her routine.  I'm thinking her other grandchildren are all mid teens or older so she's past the disruption of pre-schoolers.  Some of the Bates kids are on the loud side, too.  At the age grandma is I think the visitors should take over preparing Thanksgiving and let her rest.  They should also thoroughly clean her house before they leave.

Edited March 12, 2015 by Absolom

[BitterApple]

Gil and Kelly probably should have just gotten hotel rooms like Erin and Alyssa did. I'm sure the local Holiday Inn Express or Best Western would have comped them in exchange for free publicity. That was just way too many people to impose on Grandma.

[andromeda331]

Seeing her mother overwhelmed by the large brood has to be hard plus she is also helping prepare food for close to 30 extra people over what a Thanksgiving without Gil and Kelly's bunch would be

 

 

She could also help her mother by preparing dishes and taking some of the kids over to her house. Considering her and her brother's house was literally next door they could of both offered to take in some of their nieces and nephews. She also could have cooked and brought over some food for the meal. That's what my family always did. My dad's from a large family when ever we all descended on Grandpa and Grandma's for Thanksgiving or Christmas half would stay with them and the other half with my aunt who lived in town. For meals the aunts and uncles were always helping prepare and/or bring food over. Half the time my aunt would put all those extra hands to work and we'd prepare stuff for the meal.

[Absolom]

She did prepare food and take it over for the meal.

[andromeda331]

Sorry, I guess I missed that part.

[farmgal4]

I know y'all are getting tired of me saying this, but I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! Unless I'm badly mistaken, these people are the real deal. I see genuine love between all of them, and they seem to truly enjoy each other's company. I was so moved when Kelly spoke about how she and Gil had failed as parents at times and she was thankful that the children still loved them irregardless of the parental failures and shortcomings. All of those kids just seem to be so loving and joyful. Watching the interactions of this family make it glaringly obvious just how fake and full of BS the Duggars really are. I would love to be a part of their family! All of those kids are very good-looking, but I desperately want Callie and the two youngest boys. They are sooo precious! I really hope that there are enough viewers each week to keep this show on the air. I would give anything in the world if TLC would cancel the Duggars and put the Bates in their place. Jim Boob and Clown Car would lose their minds if that happened! Please God, I don't ask for much...

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I loved Sassy Grandma. She reminded me so much of my own! I also really loved the relationship between Grandparents Bateses. They seemed sweet.

 

My sister suffered with fertility issues for several years and I know how hard it was for her to watch my cousin get pregnant over and over again while she had nothing. It's better now since my niece was born, but she's still sad about it. I can't fault Jenny for feeling that way. I am glad that she was able to bond with Erin over it so at least Erin has someone she knows to talk to about stuff like that. I think her mother would listen to her, but it's not the same when she can get pregnant so quickly.

 

Jeb and the bucket were adorable! I loved how natural it appeared when Gil swung him up on his shoulders. I don't think we'd ever see The Boob with a kid on his shoulders.

 

I think Alyssa has the capacity to take over Thanksgiving, seeing as she pretty much did it for Grandma, but I don't think she (or John) will want to.

[Steff]

I'm still genuinely shocked at how Nathan has not only grown into his ears & teeth, but he's just a couple of years away from downright handsome.  Lawson has always been a cutie, but Nathan was one ugly duckling.  How can you not get the warm fuzzies from a guy who dances with his gramma?  That's real gentleman material. 

Edited March 13, 2015 by Steff

[KarmaG]

They are getting a better edit than they did on their TLC show 

 

I was unaware they had a show on TLC. What was it called?

[SongbirdHollow]

United Bates of America

[Hero]

I'm still genuinely shocked at how Nathan has not only grown into his ears & teeth, but he's just a couple of years away from downright handsome. Lawson has always been a cutie, but Nathan was one ugly duckling. How can you not get the warm fuzzies from a guy who dances with his gramma? That's real gentleman material.

I agree about Nathan. He iis way more handsome than Lawson.

[KarmaG]

United Bates of America

 

Thank you.

[bk10]

I loved Grandma Bates! She made me laugh the whole episode. I can't imagine having that many people invading my space and having to cook for them.

[disneygirl416]

I think the genetic testing is pretty standard now. Pretty much everyone I know who has gotten pregnant in the last yearish has found out super early the sex. My sister found out at 14 weeks and I believe her friend found out around 12. It wasn't even touted as "extra" testing just part of the testing they do. They did all have doctors out of the same hospital. I want to say the testing could be done between 9-13 weeks and took about a week to get the results. Even if its not standard for the rest of the country I bet with this pregnancy being higher risk Erin had those tests done and found out sex early.