Small Talk: "I'll Take Non-Show Chat For $400, Alex."

[j5cochran]

I'm an old fart, so adapting to they/their/them as the pronoun for an individual has taken some time. But I have started using it, with singular verbs. It's a little weird at first, but it helps to differentiate between they referring to one or many.

For example, "In the first game of the TOC, they were having a lot of difficulty with the Parliament of Vowels. But as for rowan, I think they is going to kick butt in their game." 

[Bastet]

18 minutes ago, j5cochran said:

But I have started using it, with singular verbs. It's a little weird at first, but it helps to differentiate between they referring to one or many.

For example, "In the first game of the TOC, they were having a lot of difficulty with the Parliament of Vowels. But as for rowan, I think they is going to kick butt in their game." 

That's what I did when "they" for a non-binary person first emerged as the preferred pronoun, but I consistently read that was not the way to do it, that even in such cases "they" takes a plural verb (like how we never say "you is", only "you are", whether "you" is singular or plural), so that's what I switched to using.  Have you come across different advice?

[j5cochran]

7 minutes ago, Bastet said:

That's what I did when "they" for a non-binary person first emerged as the preferred pronoun, but I consistently read that was not the way to do it, that even in such cases "they" takes a plural verb (like how we never say "you is", only "you are", whether "you" is singular or plural), so that's what I switched to using.  Have you come across different advice?

I haven't heard one way or the other. I work with a summer camp, and in the last three or four years, the standard is for everyone to introduce themselves at the beginning of camp as "Susan Smith, she/her". I will have to ask some of the camp staff about verb tenses and personal pronouns. (This is "geek camp" -- they will love the question!)

[Clanstarling]

I'm pretty old, but I'm getting accustomed to using "they" as both my children are LGBTQ and have a fair number of non-binary friends. I just focus on "they" being a singular when I'm talking about a single person, as it replaces "she" or "he" in the sentence. I make mistakes, but I'm getting better at it.

I started "practicing" at home, when talking about a nonbinary person, so that it comes easily when I'm in their company.

[shapeshifter]

58 minutes ago, Clanstarling said:

I just focus on "they" being a singular when I'm talking about a single person, as it replaces "she" or "he" in the sentence. I make mistakes, but I'm getting better at it.

So you don't say about a single non-binary person?

• They are stopping at the store.

Do you say:

• They is stopping at the store.

?
Because that sounds to my ears like I'd be appropriating Ebonics.

[secnarf]

Per https://www.glaad.org/reference/nonbinary you should say “they are” rather than “they is” based on the examples they give there. Using “they” is not a straight swap for he/she, it changes the verb also. 

[SoMuchTV]

8 minutes ago, secnarf said:

Per https://www.glaad.org/reference/nonbinary you should say “they are” rather than “they is” based on the examples they give there. Using “they” is not a straight swap for he/she, it changes the verb also. 

That makes sense and matches what I hear in real life.  You is to be commended for checking the reference 😉

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

You is are to be commended for checking the reference 😉

😉😉

[Clanstarling]

22 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

So you don't say about a single non-binary person?

• They are stopping at the store.

Do you say:

• They is stopping at the store.

?
Because that sounds to my ears like I'd be appropriating Ebonics.

No, I say they are,  just as I'd say...oh, I get the confusion now. I've been referring to the grammar incorrectly. I guess the practicing has worked. LOL.

[Clanstarling]

17 hours ago, secnarf said:

Per https://www.glaad.org/reference/nonbinary you should say “they are” rather than “they is” based on the examples they give there. Using “they” is not a straight swap for he/she, it changes the verb also. 

Thank you for the reference. In my mind I was focusing on swapping the pronoun (which is a straight swap), and not the verb (which isn't), so I screwed up with what I was saying.

[30 Helens]

Yes, definitely “they are”. I expect most of us have used “they” to refer to an unknown person at various times… such as “An insurance appraiser is coming to the house to look at my car. They are supposed to arrive around 3.” Or “A customer complimented me to my boss today. They were so nice to do that.”

Just think of it that way; it’s no different.

[PBnJay]

[Prevailing Wind]

Re; Parade Magazine.

When I was a little kid, the Miami Herald had both Parade and American Weekly magazines in their Sunday edition. Then they dumped them both for their own produced "Tropic" - which was nowhere near as interesting.

When I moved to Atlanta, I was so happy to have Parade back in my Sunday paper.

[30 Helens]

9 hours ago, Prevailing Wind said:

 Then they dumped them both for their own produced "Tropic" - which was nowhere near as interesting.

And had no Marilyn vos Savant, I bet! That’s the only section I ever read regularly. I haven’t seen a Parade in decades… I didn’t even know it was still around. I guess people like me are why it soon won’t be.

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, 30 Helens said:

And had no Marilyn vos Savant, I bet! That’s the only section I ever read regularly. I haven’t seen a Parade in decades… I didn’t even know it was still around. I guess people like me are why it soon won’t be.

I guess you haven't done your part by ordering enough cute collectibles and stylish sweat suits!  I'll bet your (hypothetical) granddaughter has no idea how special she is!

[Prevailing Wind]

I'm watching the Star Trek channel on PlutoTV. Usually, it airs TNG, but they've been airing the original and they've gotten to penultimate episode, "All Our Yesterdays" and there's Ian Wolfe playing the part of Mr. Atoz, a librarian.  At no time does anyone mention his name is "A to Z."

And, of course, I thought of our very own Mr. Atoz.

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, Prevailing Wind said:

And, of course, I thought of our very own Mr. Atoz.

I posted a photo of the OG Mr. AtoZ in the season thread back when our AtoZ became a television star.

[shapeshifter]

From the main thread:

10 hours ago, Quickbeam said:

Can’t remember if it was today or yesterday but I appreciate Chris pointing out the high cost of housing in NJ. It is my home state and I knew as a young adult I’d have to leave if I ever wanted to buy a house. Cruel taxes too. 

4 hours ago, possibilities said:

I was so surprised by that info. I thought NY and CA were the most expensive.

1 hour ago, ams1001 said:

My quickie googling suggests it might not actually be accurate (I found Hawaii as the most expensive state to both buy a house and rent a 1BR apartment in 2022). But I don't have time to look further at the moment.

NJ was #4 on the rental list (after NY and CA).

1 hour ago, 30 Helens said:

My husband once interviewed for a job in NJ, and was advised to look for housing in Pennsylvania. Seems everyone who worked for that company lived out of state and did a 2 hour commute, because they could not afford to live in NJ. (He did not take the job.)

11 minutes ago, ABay said:

Don't overlook the over-priced hellhole that is CT. I'll never be able to afford a house here which is why I'm moving to another state when I retire.

Are prices high everywhere in NJ? In NY, and I'm guessing CA, prices vary wildly depending on what part of the state you're looking at.

I was born in the part of NJ that was the suburbs of NYC, specifically, Ellers Dr. in Chatham NJ. It was a 2 bedroom ranch starter home. Heh. Now realtor.com shows only palatial mansions on that street going for well over a million.

Fast forward several moves to 1963 when I was almost 10 years old, I seem to recall the house we bought in the northern suburbs of Chicago being about $165K and being more expensive than the larger house we were leaving in South Jersey in a suburb of Philadelphia. The inflation calculator says $165K in 1963 translates to over $1.6M (million) today, but the house has a Redfin estimate of $812K. The family now there happens to include someone I worked with from 2001-2019, and the house now has 2 more bedrooms, the den is expanded, and the wood floors are gorgeous, so, IDK?

Meanwhile, in the rural high mountain desert straddling Northern California and Southern Oregon where my kids were born and reared, I'd go for this if my grandbaby was nearby instead of in Western NY:
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/5134-Spear-Pt_Weed_CA_96094_M94764-34890
But I doubt I can transplant my son-in-law's large extended family to Siskiyou County CA from south Wayne County NY. It's not much different, but that particular location in CA is on a lake (when the drought isn't too bad).

[Welshman in Ca]

The problem with CA is that the price is so high in places like SF, LA & San Jose that it skews the average. We live in CA & the price of our rented 3 bed house is half the price of the wife's sister who lives in a 1 bedroom apt. in San Jose, her husband works for Apple so they can afford it but it does skew the average.

As they say, it's location, location, location that matters.

[Clanstarling]

2 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

The problem with CA is that the price is so high in places like SF, LA & San Jose that it skews the average. We live in CA & the price of our rented 3 bed house is half the price of the wife's sister who lives in a 1 bedroom apt. in San Jose, her husband works for Apple so they can afford it but it does skew the average.

As they say, it's location, location, location that matters.

The house we lived in the South Bay was a modest 1200 sq ft house built in the sixties. We sold it in 2000 for 4 times what we bought it for - and now it's worth about 2 mil, because the Apple headquarters was built within a few blocks of it. I almost wish we'd just rented it out...

[possibilities]

MA has high housing costs all over, not only in Boston. It seems that there is a lot of competition for unaffordable real estate.

[Quickbeam]

Sorry, it was me who started the tangent. NJ is so expensive because A. It really is a gorgeous state and B. Proximity to NYC and Philadelphia. My remaining friends and family there are all planning to move out because of taxes. The offers they are getting on their houses are beyond comprehension. 1950s 3 bedroom Levittown house….1.2 million with a property tax bite of 20K a year. 
 

I miss it a lot but really, my house in Wisconsin is paid off with property taxes at 2200$ a year. I just couldn’t see working 2 jobs to barely afford a house in NJ.

[shapeshifter]

17 hours ago, Quickbeam said:

Sorry, it was me who started the tangent.

I'm glad to hear more about this tangent here on the Small Talk thread. 
I hope to sell my condo and get a house or maybe go back to renting. Any information is welcome, especially from knowledgeable folks without any reason to sway me one way or the other. 

Edited December 1, 2022 by shapeshifter
"hear" not "here"

[ABay]

I'd like to hear more, too. I've rented my whole life but want to buy a house when I retire (fingers crossed) in 2024. I have no idea how one goes about that. Maybe renting would be better.

[shapeshifter]

10 minutes ago, ABay said:

I'd like to hear more, too. I've rented my whole life but want to buy a house when I retire (fingers crossed) in 2024. I have no idea how one goes about that. Maybe renting would be better.

Oh, @ABay, you are me before I made all my mistakes!

That real estate saying "Location, location, location" is important, but what is an ideal location for most people, even for most people who are similar to you, may not be the location for you (or me).

[Clanstarling]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

Oh, @ABay, you are me before I made all my mistakes!

That real estate saying "Location, location, location" is important, but what is an ideal location for most people, even for most people who are similar to you, may not be the location for you (or me).

For me the key saying (I just made up) is "inspections, inspections, inspections" especially from someone who works for you - not the realtor. I'm a suspicious sort, what can I say?

[shapeshifter]

5 minutes ago, Clanstarling said:

For me the key saying (I just made up) is "inspections, inspections, inspections" especially from someone who works for you - not the realtor. I'm a suspicious sort, what can I say?

I've heard inspections often don't find things that could be costly. 
For instance, I wonder if an inspection for my condo would have mentioned the sloping floors? 
Of course, now when I go to open houses, I do notice the sloping floors! 
What's wrong with sloping floors, you may ask? It can double the price of replacing old carpet with wood or rigid flooring.

Anyone else care to comment on the value or lack thereof of inspections? 
Also: How to find a "good" inspector?

Now that interest rates are driving up mortgages, hopefully it will be possible to not be outbid on a place just because of asking for an inspection.

[chessiegal]

11 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Anyone else care to comment on the value or lack thereof of inspections? 

We put money down on a house and the inspector found structural issues to the point he recommended we have a structural engineer take a look. Our real estate agent told the listing agent the homeowners should pay for it, and they did. After hearing the engineer's findings, we walked away. Best $500 we ever spent. We had the same inspector look at our current home. After he finished, he pulled us aside and said he was glad we walked on the other house, and our current home was really well built, giving us examples.

I bought a new build in 1992. My agent told me that even though it was a new build, she recommended an inspection. I got one, and the inspector found that not all the duct work had been connected - some was going nowhere.

As far as a good inspector, I'd think in our age of Google, it should be fairly easy to find one.

[Clanstarling]

19 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

For instance, I wonder if an inspection for my condo would have mentioned the sloping floors? 
Of course, now when I go to open houses, I do notice the sloping floors!

I once looked at  house that had sloping floors. I might not have noticed it if they hadn't put out a glass bell - which allowed me to see the clapper hanging at an angle!

I guess one should bring something round with them and set them on the floor to see?

[Welshman in Ca]

16 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I've heard inspections often don't find things that could be costly. 
For instance, I wonder if an inspection for my condo would have mentioned the sloping floors? 
Of course, now when I go to open houses, I do notice the sloping floors! 
What's wrong with sloping floors, you may ask? It can double the price of replacing old carpet with wood or rigid flooring.

Anyone else care to comment on the value or lack thereof of inspections? 
Also: How to find a "good" inspector?

Now that interest rates are driving up mortgages, hopefully it will be possible to not be outbid on a place just because of asking for an inspection.

Finding a good one is the problem, there's a guy on tickety tok who does inspections & some of the crap he finds is crazy, flipped houses & new houses seem to be the worst, with the flipped always being done as cheaply as possible by the look of things.

If you're interested it's inspector_aj on the tok.

[possibilities]

Inspection quality varies. I think the best way to find a good one is to ask friends who they like and find out what they liked about them, whether there was stuff they discovered that the inspector didn't mention. But if you're moving to a new area and don't know people, that could be tough.

I hate renting. There is no stability! If you own, you have more responsibility, but at least you are in charge of your own life. My opinion is influenced by the rental market where I live being mostly small multi-family or single family houses, rather than high rises or other large landlord situations. What happens here is that small time landlords decide to sell their properties and sometimes move back into them, so tenants are displaced. Also, they don't usually know what they are doing, so maintenance is neglected, and rents unstable. There is a huge housing shortage in MA, so renters are disposable, and properties scarce.

When you own, nobody can tell you to leave unless you default on the mortgage.

I don't have the money to buy, but would do it in a second if I could.

[possibilities]

Adding this anecdote.

I rent an apartment in a 300 year old house. I love the house, but it has had 5 different managements in 15 years. Each team has its own style and priorities and quirks. Every time the landlords change, the tenants have different rules to adapt to. So it's a bit exhausting.

The most recent purchaser had an inspector that spent many hours looking at things, so I thought they were going to be thorough. There were several serious maintenance issues that had been neglected by the people selling it, and I even tried to hint to the inspectors about them. But they didn't note any of them on their report.

I didn't know what was in the report and what the new people were planning to do, so after the new owners took over, I asked them what their plans were, and they were really upset because the report had not mentioned any of those issues.

I would say to never let the realtor suggest an inspector, because the realtor wants to make the sale. They are not protecting you, they are looking to please the seller and get the commission.

An exception to that rule would be if you have a buyer's agent, not the person selling/showing the house, but someone who represents you as the potential purchaser.

And also, in a seller's market, where there are lots of buyers bidding against you, you might not have any leverage because some people will just buy the place without a serious vetting, and then you have to decide whether you want to hold out or just take a place to have a place, without really knowing what its problems might be. Some sellers will not be patient with extensive negotiations and will just sell to whoever asks the fewest questions.

Some states have more strict laws about what needs to be disclosed by a seller, and whether or what kind of inspections are required. So if you live somewhere that has fewer rules, you might not be able to get as thorough a look as you want if the owners have a lot of prospects and some of them are being less fussy and just doing the minimum checking.

Edited December 1, 2022 by possibilities

[shapeshifter]

4 minutes ago, possibilities said:

small time landlords decide to sell their properties and sometimes move back into them, so tenants are displaced.

This happened to me after 10 years of renting. 


 

4 minutes ago, possibilities said:

they don't usually know what they are doing, so maintenance is neglected

Another rental of 5 years was like this. The landlord became disabled (physically and mentally) and his wife just hired handymen from her neighborhood church. One time it took 2 of then an entire day to replace a ceiling fan. I had to do some translating since one's first language was Korean and the other's was Spanish and they had trouble with each other's accents. 
That landlady and I appreciated each other, but there were non-stop issues.


 

10 minutes ago, possibilities said:

I don't have the money to buy, but would do it in a second if I could.

I did buy after Mom passed and unexpectedly left me enough to buy something. Unfortunately, I didn't know what I was doing.
Now I feel I do have a handle on things——both structural and financial, as well as what I still don't know enough about——but that means I've been looking non-stop for a year and not finding anything. 

But my problem is that I want to be in 2 different locations: Walking distance to the beach and 10 minutes by car from my grandbaby, but they are 35 minutes apart by car.
I also need to at least have a bedroom and full bath on a ground floor for the future. 

[shapeshifter]

I agree with and related to most of your post above, @possibilities, except this:

13 minutes ago, possibilities said:

An exception to that rule would be if you have a buyer's agent, not the person selling/showing the house, but someone who represents you as the potential purchaser.

Nope. Nope. Nope.
Dad was a realtor whose goal was to find the perfect home for each client. Mom was always complaining about how his clients ran him ragged, and and even occasionally wound up cutting him out of the sale commission by buying directly from the owner. 

But now I know that realtors acting as your agent when you are buying just want to spend the minimum amount of time to get the maximum commission.

Everything available is online at Zillow, realtor.com, and other sites (I prefer realtor.com because it gives more details). We only need the realtor to legally show the home and draw up the contract. 

I keep talking to realtors thinking they will know the area better and can recommend something. Either they're dummies or they don't want to share the info. I can't tell. It sounds like doublespeak.

Edited December 1, 2022 by shapeshifter

[chessiegal]

In Maryland, there are officially buyer's agents and seller's agents. If you're buying with an agent, they are a buyer's agent and have a fiduciary responsibility to their client, which is a higher standard than mere representation. Any hint of not meeting that fiduciary responsibility could bring the agent up on ethics charges, meaning discipline to losing their license. Our buyer's agent worked with us for 3 years!

[shapeshifter]

15 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

In Maryland, there are officially buyer's agents and seller's agents. If you're buying with an agent, they are a buyer's agent and have a fiduciary responsibility to their client, which is a higher standard than mere representation. Any hint of not meeting that fiduciary responsibility could bring the agent up on ethics charges, meaning discipline to losing their license. Our buyer's agent worked with us for 3 years!

Another reason (besides weather) to wish my daughter's husband's large extended family lived in Maryland!

[zoey1996]

We were fortunate to be able to buy our house in Kansas before we sold our house in Virginia. Kansas is not high priced real estate, but our real estate tax is higher that our Virginia r.e. tax was. We were looking for a small town in rural Kansas. We're about 40 minutes from a small city where we can find most of what isn't available in our small town. Our town has a dearth of restaurants; at least two or three closed between May and August, when we moved.

Because we bought in a small town, we didn't have a lot of choice for inspectors, but ours was reputable and was pretty thorough. A lot here is based on reputation and word of mouth, so a poor inspector won't last long in the business. Our agent in Virginia had been in the business for decades and was knowledgeable and trustworthy, We went with her recommendation for the inspector. He found the things we already knew would be issues, plus some that we weren't aware of, but agreed after they were pointed out to us.

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

But now I know that realtors acting as your agent when you are buying just want to spend the minimum amount of time to get the maximum commission.

Definitely a generalization that isn't always true! Some agents are like that, but many others are not. That was not true in our case.

[possibilities]

2 hours ago, chessiegal said:

In Maryland, there are officially buyer's agents and seller's agents. If you're buying with an agent, they are a buyer's agent and have a fiduciary responsibility to their client, which is a higher standard than mere representation. Any hint of not meeting that fiduciary responsibility could bring the agent up on ethics charges, meaning discipline to losing their license. Our buyer's agent worked with us for 3 years!

Yes, that's what I'm talking about. We have that in MA, also. A seller's agent represents the seller, and their incentive is to sell the house. Using an inspector they recommend is a terrible idea because the inspector is incentivized not to find anything wrong, to make the seller happy and get you to buy. 

But if you hire a buyer's agent, they are incentivized to make the buyer happy. They get more business by having happy buyers and will choose an inspector who makes sure the buyer has all the info at hand.

I grant they may also have an incentive to get you to buy so they get a commission. So Shapeshifter may be right about not trusting them, either. So... I guess I don't know whether to trust their recommendations.

Or you can find your own inspector, which is when I was saying ask friends what inspector they used and how they liked them.

[Welshman in Ca]

3 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

But my problem is that I want to be in 2 different locations: Walking distance to the beach and 10 minutes by car from my grandbaby, but they are 35 minutes apart by car.

I also need to at least have a bedroom and full bath on a ground floor for the future. 

Take this how you like from someone who never had kids but married someone who has 2 daughters and the closest one had her 2nd (a girl this time) 10 months ago & I am now an adoring grandfather. The beach will always be there but the grandbaby won't always be a baby, so if there is a decision to be made go with closer to the baby.

I'm sure you know all that but sometimes we forget what's really important.

Edited December 1, 2022 by Welshman in Ca

[chessiegal]

9 minutes ago, possibilities said:

But if you hire a buyer's agent, they are incentivized to make the buyer happy.

Fiduciary duty is more than being incentivized.

Quote

When someone has a fiduciary duty to someone else, the person with the duty must act in a way that will benefit someone else, usually financially.

[Prevailing Wind]

I would suggest trying to find an investors' group - people that buy houses to become landlords. They would be a good resource for finding good inspectors, handymen, even real estate agents,

Did you know not every agent is a Realtor?  "Realtor" is a registered trade mark of the National Association of Realtors.  https://www.nar.realtor/logos-and-trademark-rules/top-5-things-you-need-to-know-about-the-realtor-trademarks  Of course, most agents belong to the association, so they can call themselves Realtors...

When I first bought my condo, after the seller did the contractual renovations and I moved in & unpacked, one of the first things I did was to replace all the "builders' grade" door knobs.  It's funny how things you'd put up with as a tenant are suddenly disgusting and need to be replaced.

[shapeshifter]

15 minutes ago, Prevailing Wind said:

It's funny how things you'd put up with as a tenant are suddenly disgusting and need to be replaced.

I would replace nearly everything in this condo if I didn't plan to move out at a loss.
I've decided to wash my dishes by hand rather than getting a new dishwasher. It works well as a dish drainer. A realtor who looked at my place with an eye to recommendations for selling advised that new appliances add nothing to the price.

My daughter bought me a large air purifier for my birthday that has made living here so much better. The HVAC people wanted $1000 to clean the vents with no guarantee to make the air any better.
I also put stripping at the bottom of my door so my neighbor's cooking smells no longer fill up the place. They aren't bad smells; just not something I want lingering in my home.

[possibilities]

I have many fantasies of what I'd do here if I owned the place or had a guarantee I could stay. One of the more frustrating aspects of renting is that even if you WANT to do something to improve the place, the owners often are unwilling to let you do it, because they're afraid you'll mess it up.

I have done repairs on the downlow because of being refused by the landlords who didn't want to do it nor let me do it and I wasn't willing to live with it or go to court over it and deal with that hassle/expense and permanent damage to the relationship.

I live in a tiny town (approx 400 houeholds/1000 residents) and you really can't find professionals to come here without landlord permission. THey all know who rents and who owns and there aren't a lot of contractors to choose from locally, nor folks willing to travel out here if they aren't locals. So I'm a DIY person. And I'm very careful. I don't take on anything I'm not super-confident I can do well.

I had a dripping faucet a landlord told me to live with AND they told me not to change the washer myself. I changed the damn washer, it's safe, it's easy, it's cheap, and that's the end of that. The landlord didn't want to do it or pay a plumber to do it and I wasn't going to live with it for no good reason. I figured by the time they actually came over here for some future purpose, they'd have forgotten about it and anyway what were they going to do? Take me to court over doing a repair they should have done themselves?

Edited December 2, 2022 by possibilities

[secnarf]

On 12/1/2022 at 3:26 PM, possibilities said:

I grant they may also have an incentive to get you to buy so they get a commission. So Shapeshifter may be right about not trusting them, either. So... I guess I don't know whether to trust their recommendations.

CBC Marketplace did an episode on this, and how realtors are directing buyers away from perfectly good houses with lower commission to houses that might not fit the buyer's needs as well but have higher commission. There are lots of issues with the industry.

The inspection I had done before buying my condo found minor issues and missed several major ones. Had I known then all of the issues I would have, I don't think I would have bought this place. Also had I known the course the market was going to take, I would have bought something else. But, nothing that can be done about that now.

[30 Helens]

There are good and bad people in every job. Realtors and inspectors are no exception. What I would advise is to educate yourself as much as possible. When we were buying our first home 20+ years ago, I did a lot of reading on the subject. (“Home Buying for Dummies” was surprisingly useful and informative!) That gave me a lot of confidence about what to look for and what to expect during the process.

It’s also good to know about common structural pitfalls, so you can tour the property with a critical eye. (Cracks in the walls may indicate foundation problems. Crumbling shower grout can mean there’s a leak. Bad visible workmanship in general often means it’s even worse behind the walls.) I learned a lot about home repair issues from my husband, who’s a woodworker/ carpentry hobbyist and from watching shows he loves like “Holmes on Homes”. (Premise: contractor Mike Holmes visits homes in disrepair and fixes the messes done by previous construction hacks.) From watching shows like that, I’ve gotten to where I can tour a house for sale and see all kinds of things that most people would never notice.

You need good professionals, but your best advocate is always going to be yourself, so preparation is key. As for buying vs renting, I’ve done both, and while I sometimes long for the days when everything was the landlord’s problem and my weekends were free, I love the security and artistic license that ownership brings and can’t imagine going back. 

On 12/1/2022 at 10:52 AM, Clanstarling said:

I once looked at  house that had sloping floors. I might not have noticed it if they hadn't put out a glass bell - which allowed me to see the clapper hanging at an angle!

I guess one should bring something round with them and set them on the floor to see?

Bring a small level, one you can slip into a large purse, and just set it on the floor. The bubbles don’t lie!

[30 Helens]

I meant to add about home inspectors: I think hiring one is essential, because they can see things you just can’t get to, no matter how informed you are. Check their background just like you would for a contractor. You can ask for a sample report to see how thorough they are. Also, be there during the inspection so you can see what they’re checking and ask questions. If they don’t want you there, hire someone else.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, 30 Helens said:

I meant to add about home inspectors: I think hiring one is essential, because they can see things you just can’t get to, no matter how informed you are. Check their background just like you would for a contractor. You can ask for a sample report to see how thorough they are. Also, be there during the inspection so you can see what they’re checking and ask questions. If they don’t want you there, hire someone else.

When I bought my condo a year ago, I had already been outbid on another property, and all properties were selling within 3 days. I was advised by the respected, recommended realtor to skip the inspection because it was a condo. So asking for a sample report from an inspector (or a list of buyers from the realtor) was not realistic.

And being new to the area, I couldn’t (and still can’t) even know if the person recommending the realtor or inspector is reliable.

Heck, even in 2009 when it was a buyer’s market and I asked my boss for a recommendation for a realtor, I was lead astray and wound up not buying. The part time realtor  my boss recommended (who was the head of grounds at the college where we worked) said he didn’t have time and recommended his wife, who was even more part time.

The commission to be made on my modest housing needs was (and is) simply not worth a realtor’s time.
Had I bought in 2009 in that location, I would have had at least another $100K profit to put towards a home last year.

Since then I’ve watched some of those reno shows and read articles and toured more open houses and know a bit more. And even people who are in the business don’t know a lot; there’s just too many variations to know it all. I guess that’s why location is still key.

I noticed when my son-in-law went along to look at a house with me, the realtor took his concerns about the property more seriously than mine, and even said that was one property he’d recommend getting an inspection for.

Edited December 3, 2022 by shapeshifter

[Prevailing Wind]

My late friend, who had been a renter all his life, decided his family was getting too big for an apt, so he started looking for a house. He found one - it was perfect, according to him. My mom happened to be visiting and Bill took us out to look at the house he was ready to make an offer on.  My mom noticed - holy crap! - the house was in a hole. The perimeter of the lot was higher than where the house was placed.  She pointed this out to Bill and they started looking at the ground seriously. You could see where ditches had been dug, trying to redirect rainwater. The ditches appeared as though they had failed. Bill passed on the house and could not stop thanking my mom for stopping him from making the second biggest mistake of his life. (Marrying the bimbo was the biggest - they divorced soon after.)

I still wonder if an inspector would have caught that.

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, Prevailing Wind said:

My late friend, who had been a renter all his life, decided his family was getting too big for an apt, so he started looking for a house. He found one - it was perfect, according to him. My mom happened to be visiting and Bill took us out to look at the house he was ready to make an offer on.  My mom noticed - holy crap! - the house was in a hole. The perimeter of the lot was higher than where the house was placed.  She pointed this out to Bill and they started looking at the ground seriously. You could see where ditches had been dug, trying to redirect rainwater. The ditches appeared as though they had failed. Bill passed on the house and could not stop thanking my mom for stopping him from making the second biggest mistake of his life. (Marrying the bimbo was the biggest - they divorced soon after.)

I still wonder if an inspector would have caught that.

I wonder too if inspectors look at flood factors, but also, shouldn't a realtor be aware??

Realtor.com has added an Environmental Risk section to its property listings:

I don't see these factors on any of the other sites that realtors use to send listings to my email (or on Zillow, etc.).
When I've gone to open houses, sometimes I chat with the realtor in [apparently vain] hopes that they know the area and might be able to let me know if something I'd like goes on the market [they either don't listen to what I'd like, or, as my daughter in NYC says, they are just trying to convince us that what they have to sell is what we want].
The above home wasn't too far off-base for what I wanted, but the realtors apparently don't want to know(?) about the flood factors.

Am I crazy if I check realtor.com almost every day?

Edited December 3, 2022 by shapeshifter

[SoMuchTV]

8 hours ago, 30 Helens said:

Bring a small level, one you can slip into a large purse, and just set it on the floor. The bubbles don’t lie!

Not sure about the other major brands, but iPhones have a level app included.  Although I kind of like the idea of pulling out a ping pong ball (or a few).