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Small Talk: "I'll Take Non-Show Chat For $400, Alex."


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29 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

There was the rare broken arm from the monkey bars, but I don't really remember any injuries except scrapes and minor cuts/scratches.

Burns from the slides. 

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4 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

The school playgrounds were blacktop, and we girls had to wear dresses. I had scabby knees until whatever age they didn't do recess anymore. 

I went to a park with my grandchild a couple of weeks ago. The surface under the play equipment was so soft I could have easily taken a nap on it!

My elementary school playground consisted of something like smashed stones. No idea what it was. I did my best not to fall there (since we girls were wearing skirts & dresses every day! 🙄)

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I was always a kid who wore a mix of skirts/dresses and pants/shorts, just as I remain as an adult, so if I really wanted to do something on the jungle gym that would mean hanging upside down when I happened to be in a skirt/dress that would put my panties on full display, I'd run to the locker room and and throw my gym shorts on underneath (if I was just going to be spinning around so there might be the occasional flash, oh well - no time to waste).

In junior high and high school it was in the gym, but in elementary school, our volleyball team played on an outdoor ASPHALT court.  No, you don't dive at that age like you do later, but you still hit the ground enough that's ridiculous (our basketball team played on such a surface, too, but you hit the ground far less in that sport).  Between that and my propensity for roller skating or skateboarding down hills far too steep for such activities (at least at my skill level), I pretty much had perpetually skinned knees and elbows for a while there.

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When I answer the phone and hear:

"Hello. My name is [their name]. May I speak with [my name]"

I reflexively reply, "Yes, this is she."

Is that grammatically correct? I've suddenly become self-conscious about it. 

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39 minutes ago, possibilities said:

When I answer the phone and hear:

"Hello. My name is [their name]. May I speak with [my name]"

I reflexively reply, "Yes, this is she."

Is that grammatically correct? I've suddenly become self-conscious about it. 

I have that same mental crisis. The old-timey response is “speaking” but that seems pretentious somehow. I think I’ve settled on “yes, this is (ms lastname)” or “this is (firstname)”, depending on who they ask for. Or maybe I just hang up, if they say “this is an independent agency representing the benevolent society of under appreciated public servants” or something similar. 

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4 hours ago, possibilities said:

Is that grammatically correct? I've suddenly become self-conscious about it. 

Breathe easy -- it's correct.

"This" is the subject and "is" is being used as a linking verb, so you need another subject (she), not an object (her).

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6 hours ago, possibilities said:

When I answer the phone and hear:

"Hello. My name is [their name]. May I speak with [my name]"

I reflexively reply, "Yes, this is she."

Is that grammatically correct? I've suddenly become self-conscious about it. 

My response would be, “Can I ask what this is about?” Never give anything away! 😉

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6 hours ago, possibilities said:

"...this is she."

Is that grammatically correct?

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

Breathe easy -- it's correct.

"This" is the subject and "is" is being used as a linking verb, so you need another subject (she), not an object (her).

In addition to "she" being a subject, my Mom always answered that way, so we can be sure it is grammatically correct. 

However, these days, either:

13 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

My response would be, “Can I ask what this is about?” Never give anything away! 😉

or:

5 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

just hang up, if they say “this is an independent agency representing the benevolent society of under appreciated public servants” or something similar. 

😆

 

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1 hour ago, 30 Helens said:

My response would be, “Can I ask what this is about?” Never give anything away! 😉

Ha!  I often reply with: "May I ask what this regards?" if the person does not identify themselves, but if they say their own name, I feel an undertow of reciprocity, which is probably a habit I should break.

 

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

In addition to "she" being a subject, my Mom always answered that way, so we can be sure it is grammatically correct. 

I will sleep easy tonight!!

2 hours ago, Bastet said:

Breathe easy -- it's correct.

"This" is the subject and "is" is being used as a linking verb, so you need another subject (she), not an object (her).

Thank you! I was tormenting myself over parts of speech, and I knew "her" didn't sound right, but I couldn't work out the diagram. 

Many thanks to all!!

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10 hours ago, 30 Helens said:

My response would be, “Can I ask what this is about?” Never give anything away! 😉

My #1 response to a question (which may not deserve an answer) is, "Why do you want to know?"

I use this often... e.g., when someone asks "how much did that cost?" or anything equally uncomfortable. It puts the other person into a state of "wtf do I do now?". All of a sudden, they're in the hot seat so to speak.

Sometimes I get an answer! LOL

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Lately, I've been answering unknown, probable spam, calls with, "Meow." Totally baffles real people, but the robo calls just keep talking. I had one guy who kept calling & when I eventually answered with a testy "What?" he said he wanted to talk to the kitty. I told him cats can't talk and hung up on him.  Hey, you get your fun where you can.

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19 hours ago, possibilities said:

When I answer the phone and hear:

"Hello. My name is [their name]. May I speak with [my name]"

I reflexively reply, "Yes, this is she."

Is that grammatically correct? I've suddenly become self-conscious about it. 

My English major husband says you are fine. FWIW.

Our landline is with Verizon. They offer a free spam blocking service. Most calls only ring once, then the program hangs up on them. If it doesn't, it goes to voice mail. Rarely does anyone leave a message. I go into my Verizon app and block the caller. Spam calls are getting fewer and fewer.

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9 hours ago, chessiegal said:

Our landline is with Verizon. They offer a free spam blocking service. Most calls only ring once, then the program hangs up on them. If it doesn't, it goes to voice mail. Rarely does anyone leave a message. I go into my Verizon app and block the caller. Spam calls are getting fewer and fewer.

Same here re: landline w/ Verizon and the spam blocking. Thank goodness!

 

On 6/2/2023 at 5:45 PM, possibilities said:

When I answer the phone and hear:

"Hello. My name is [their name]. May I speak with [my name]"

I reflexively reply, "Yes, this is she."

Is that grammatically correct? I've suddenly become self-conscious about it. 

Yes. It sounds formal but it's correct. It seems a lot of Americans dread sounding formal, thus even the words,"you're welcome" are rarely heard today. Whenever news anchors thank interviewees for appearing, most times those people will say, "thank you". When reporters are thanked, they usually nod. But a few times we've heard, "no problem" or "sure". So when someone says, "you're welcome" I joyously thank them 😄.

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10 hours ago, chessiegal said:

Our landline is with Verizon. They offer a free spam blocking service.

Could you (or someone else) please provide a URL for information about this?  I tried searching the Verizon site but what I find is only for cell phones.  adTHANKSvance!

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11 hours ago, Driad said:

Could you (or someone else) please provide a URL for information about this?  I tried searching the Verizon site but what I find is only for cell phones.  adTHANKSvance!

It's been years ago, but I remember having to talk to a rep on the phone and it was not easy, but eventually got it done. I got an email from Verizon recently saying that they were automatically doing filtering for all their customers, and if you didn't want it, you had to go into your account and turn it off. That said, you might want to try here:

FCC consumer guide to stop spam

We have caller id on the land line, and unless I recognize who is calling, I don't answer the phone.

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13 hours ago, chessiegal said:

unless I recognize who is calling, I don't answer the phone.

Same here. If it’s a legitimate call, they’ll leave a voicemail and I can call them back. Failing to answer spam calls will also get you off their list, eventually, because they don’t want to waste their time with what appears to be an invalid number. (Answering the phone validates the number as active.) By refusing to play their game, I’ve reduced my spam call percentage considerably.

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(edited)

Me too. Although it's interesting when they do leave a message and it's about some service I don't have or some order I haven't placed and they want me to call them back.

Edited by chicagofan
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Recently I realized I could set my iPhone (7 Plus) to silence spam/unknown callers. Later, I see the missed calls and can choose to block and/or just delete them.

Some of them have tricky names on them that look like some person or entity I might know, but, since my phone number is an Illinois area code but I live in NY, if it's from Illinois, I know it's just spam pretending to be from Illinois. 

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36 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

if it's from Illinois, I know it's just spam pretending to be from Illinois. 

Not necessarily. I live in Georgia and ALL my GrubHub deliverers have a 312 (Illinois) area code.  My building is at the back of my condo property and many GPS's don't show it. They show the other 3 buildings, but not mine, so the drivers tend to get lost a lot - they're always calling for directions.  Nobody knows how addresses work anymore.

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3 minutes ago, Prevailing Wind said:

Not necessarily. I live in Georgia and ALL my GrubHub deliverers have a 312 (Illinois) area code.  My building is at the back of my condo property and many GPS's don't show it. They show the other 3 buildings, but not mine, so the drivers tend to get lost a lot - they're always calling for directions.  Nobody knows how addresses work anymore.

I don't use GrubHub, but good point that a company out of Illinois could have an Illinois area code for their employees. 

The last 5 years I lived in Illinois, I had the same problem, @Prevailing Wind, because my side of the duplex was in the back. I put up at least 3 large-font signs directing any deliveries to my address (through the gate and around the house to the back door). Occasionally a delivery person appreciated it. Most paid no attention. I had more additional, bilingual signs for the snow removal guys to clear the sidewalk and stairs to the basement laundry that had a similarly dismal rate of success.

Now I'm in a condo with 2 entrances on different sides of the building. I've felt sorry for the drivers who go around in circles trying to figure out which is best. 

Back in the 80s I used to leave fresh baked cookies for the mail carriers who managed to find our rural address. I don't think that's okay anymore.

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I'll answer some. If there's a pause after I say "hello" for more than a second or two, I'll hang up because I know that pause generally indicates a large scammer operation and the call is being passed to an open phone.

I had a lot of fun with the fake "microsoft" callers. I'd say "nope, you're not. And as I happen to work with the police (techincally correct, if indirectlly) you should probably hang up now. One time a poor fellow gasped, said Oh No! and hung up.

Generally I just hang up or will say no if I've answered for the hell of it. These days I'm more polite, simply because I'm trying to be nicer in general. Because calls like this come on our "land line" (hubby refuses to give it up), if a name doesn't come up it's generally spam. My phone automatically blocks them.

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56 minutes ago, Clanstarling said:

with the fake "microsoft" callers. I'd say "nope, you're not. And as I happen to work with the police

I've actually told them "I don't have a computer" (not true, of course) and that stopped them. We used to categorize our "spam" calls: There was the "three rings and hang up" person (fourth ring answering machine picked up and they would get charged for the call, so they hung up before that). There was the "Is {first name} there?", there was the "dead air" one, the "dial tone one", the "busy signal one" (wah wah wah...). That one would get recorded on the machine so you'd have to delete it (unlike the dead air/dial tone ones). Oddly enough, when we went to a cordless (not cell) phone (still same phone number as the landline), the calls stopped!

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12 minutes ago, illdoc said:

Oddly enough, when we went to a cordless (not cell) phone (still same phone number as the landline), the calls stopped!

We have a cordless land line phone - didn't stop the calls. Since I got the spam blocking feature installed, I'd say over 50% of the few calls only ring once before the blocking stops the call from going through.

I have the machine set to have the phone ring 4 times before going to voice mail. The caller id verbal kicks in on the second ring. That's not enough time for me to get up and answer if it's someone I know, so I end up talking as they are leaving a message. I had a friend say - you screen your calls! I thought, well, yes, doesn't everyone?

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32 minutes ago, illdoc said:

I've actually told them "I don't have a computer" (not true, of course) and that stopped them. We used to categorize our "spam" calls: There was the "three rings and hang up" person (fourth ring answering machine picked up and they would get charged for the call, so they hung up before that). There was the "Is {first name} there?", there was the "dead air" one, the "dial tone one", the "busy signal one" (wah wah wah...). That one would get recorded on the machine so you'd have to delete it (unlike the dead air/dial tone ones). Oddly enough, when we went to a cordless (not cell) phone (still same phone number as the landline), the calls stopped!

Ah yes, I recognize all of those. Never thought to categorize them though. Good job!

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39 minutes ago, illdoc said:

I've actually told them "I don't have a computer"

I ask them "to which computer are you referring?" and when they stammer, I laugh uproariously and then hang up, still laughing.  I love doing that - it seems nicer than being angry at them. Most of 'em can't get a better job and are just trying to make a living.  I have told a few of them they really need to find a better job.

 

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12 minutes ago, Prevailing Wind said:

Most of 'em can't get a better job and are just trying to make a living.

Yes, but when the job has them trying to get vulnerable people to give up SS#s and bank account numbers to steal their identities and/or drain their life savings, I can't help getting mad — even if the caller goes home to a corrugated metal roof at a garbage dump in south Asia. I know my anger is misplaced. So, I'm trying to focus on spam blockers. 

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12 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I know my anger is misplaced.

I disagree. It’s one thing when they’re just trying to sell you a legitimate product, as unwanted or worthless as it may be, but so many of those calls are from people doing their best to take advantage of people and steal their money. I spare no anger for them. I won’t spare my time, however, which is why I don’t answer.

If the only job a person can find involves scamming someone else, they’re not looking hard enough.

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Quote

  4 hours ago, Clanstarling said:

My reason is on the other end of the issue - a bit gruesome, I'm afraid. I once worked at a church office when one of our parishoners died. No one knew for days and her pet (small dog), well, it got hungry...

When Bosco was still alive, I told my SIL that I had no illusions - if I were in that situation, Bosco would be the first to chow down. Stella would eventually follow.

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15 hours ago, possibilities said:

I would have assumed the animal was licking their person frantically, trying to revive them, or express affection. 

Well, I would have too, but bites aren't licks....

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I finally made it home!  And I officially despise Heathrow as an airport.  It is so gangly and disorganized if you have to change terminals when transiting through.  It's probably fine as a starting or ending point, but damn, it's confusing.  And so much walking, even after you've taken the train and/or bus.  I realized sometime in the middle of the night that I never got a confirmation number for my re-booking, so I was anxious until I had my boarding pass in hand.  I barely napped either at the airport all night or on the flight home, and was fading fast by the time I pulled into my driveway.  Getting home energized me a bit, so I was able to unpack and all.  But now it's not even 7pm Eastern, and I'm ready to hit the sack.  Of course, 7 Eastern is something like 1 am in Norway, so there's that.

I'm going to try to stay awake at least until 8, but who knows!  And tomorrow, I'll have to figure out how to file a claim for the delay.  Keeping us five hours in the plane at the gate is just ridiculous.  They should have deplaned us a lot sooner.

It was a great trip to Svalbard!  

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11 hours ago, Browncoat said:

It was a great trip to Svalbard!  

Simultaneously my childhood friend has been posting Norway pictures on Facebook such as this video during a “gondola ride” of “Glorious vistas from atop Mt Horen, Norway”:

24C7BF06-816D-4DC5-8E6C-887A95A0359C.thumb.jpeg.7877464ce873e1a5a252ba95080e3437.jpeg
Probably not where you were, @Browncoat, but I kept imagining you passed by each other.🥰

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(edited)
1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

Simultaneously my childhood friend has been posting Norway pictures on Facebook such as this video during a “gondola ride” of “Glorious vistas from atop Mt Horen, Norway”:

24C7BF06-816D-4DC5-8E6C-887A95A0359C.thumb.jpeg.7877464ce873e1a5a252ba95080e3437.jpeg
Probably not where you were, @Browncoat, but I kept imagining you passed by each other.🥰

Oh, that's lovely!  I was mostly in Svalbard, with only a couple of days in Oslo for Norway proper.  If we passed by each other, it would have been in the airport!

 Oslo is a far more interesting city than I expected.  We had limited time there, so missed a lot.  I'd go back just for the museums, I think.

ETA: I did make it to 8 last night, but only just.  I was nodding off while I brushed my teeth!  I slept like a stone until around 2:30, which for me is exceptional.  Seven hours!  In a row!  Unheard of.  The darkness at that hour surprised my sleep-deprived brain, since I had been above the Arctic Circle for the past couple of weeks. The sun won't set there until August, and it won't actually get dark dark until something like November, when the sun will set and not rise again until March.  Even more remarkable was that I was able to go back to sleep, but it was intermittent until I got up at about 6.  There may be an afternoon nap in my future...

Edited by Browncoat
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8 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Seven hours!  In a row!  Unheard of.

I relate to this.  I also rarely sleep uninterrupted.  It's generally in two chunks, at least, and often there's only about half an hour in between them, but it's not rare for it to be hours.  Those few times I wake up and realize I slept straight through, I'm confounded.

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5 hours ago, Bastet said:

I relate to this.  I also rarely sleep uninterrupted.  It's generally in two chunks, at least, and often there's only about half an hour in between them, but it's not rare for it to be hours.  Those few times I wake up and realize I slept straight through, I'm confounded.

I often wake up part way through the night - though typically go back to sleep shortly after - and I found this article fascinating: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220107-the-lost-medieval-habit-of-biphasic-sleep

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7 hours ago, Bastet said:

I relate to this.  I also rarely sleep uninterrupted.  It's generally in two chunks, at least, and often there's only about half an hour in between them, but it's not rare for it to be hours.  Those few times I wake up and realize I slept straight through, I'm confounded.

Same. 
Frequently I only sleep one 4-5 hour stretch at night, and then a 5-20 minute nap during the day. I'm definitely sharper in the first hours after I awake. 

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On 6/11/2023 at 8:39 PM, secnarf said:

I often wake up part way through the night - though typically go back to sleep shortly after - and I found this article fascinating: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220107-the-lost-medieval-habit-of-biphasic-sleep

Fascinating! When left to my natural devices, I tend to fall asleep around 10pm and wake up about 3 hours later. Then I’m up for about 4-5 hours before going back to sleep. I always thought this was weird (and probably unhealthy), but it is the most productive part of my day. My mind is at its sharpest, and without distractions I can get so much more done.

Good to know this is not without precedent! Now, if I could only get the rest of the world to follow my schedule…

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14 hours ago, 30 Helens said:

Fascinating! When left to my natural devices, I tend to fall asleep around 10pm and wake up about 3 hours later. Then I’m up for about 4-5 hours before going back to sleep. I always thought this was weird (and probably unhealthy), but it is the most productive part of my day. My mind is at its sharpest, and without distractions I can get so much more done.

Good to know this is not without precedent! Now, if I could only get the rest of the world to follow my schedule…

But if the rest of the world followed our “2 sleeps” schedule, it wouldn’t be so quiet in those wee hours, and with more distractions, you’d get less done. 😉

Actually, being up in the middle of the night might be more acceptable now. I recall about 15 years ago posting on a message board (maybe IMDb?) in the middle of my “2 sleeps” and having another poster ask if I was in the UK. I mostly recall being embarrassed about having my odd hours being noticed.

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I've been caught several times in the "sleep all day, stay up all night" cycle. I kind of like it, except my washer is so noisy, it would wake my condo neighbors if I used it; same for the vacuum. Too dark to take trash out to the Dumpster and god forbid I have a doc's appt during the daytime.  I seem to be sliding into again - went to bed at 2:30 AM, slept until 12:30 - 10 hours of sleep is NOT good for anyone except maybe a teen or a baby. LOL.

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On 6/13/2023 at 1:14 PM, 30 Helens said:

When left to my natural devices, I tend to fall asleep around 10pm and wake up about 3 hours later. Then I’m up for about 4-5 hours before going back to sleep. I always thought this was weird (and probably unhealthy), but it is the most productive part of my day. My mind is at its sharpest, and without distractions I can get so much more done.

Oh, I can't make any claim to productivity during the periods when I'm awake for several hours in the middle of the night -- I am not allowed to get up, since my cat sleeps either on top of or tucked into me.  (She'll agree to sleeping on something other than me during her daytime naps, but once we get in bed at night, that's it.)  Nor am I allowed to turn on the light to read.  She lets me watch TV, though.  🙂

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On 6/11/2023 at 7:53 AM, Browncoat said:

Oslo is a far more interesting city than I expected.  We had limited time there, so missed a lot.  I'd go back just for the museums, I think.

One very interesting museum in Oslo is the one about the Nazi occupation. It's down by the harbor, in a somewhat small old bldg. When you enter, about 20 long guns are pointing at you (I think they're glued together, in a pile). I remember thinking as we walked through the exhibits, "If this were an American museum, it would be very dramatic". Instead, it's very subdued, but you get the message. Outside is a plain memorial garden where the Nazis executed Norwegians. I've never forgotten this little museum.

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8 hours ago, Prevailing Wind said:

and god forbid I have a doc's appt during the daytime. 

Yeah, this is what I meant about wishing others would follow my schedule— when I have an appointment, or need to make a business call, or otherwise have to deal with the outside world, I end up shorted on sleep. But as Shapeshifter noted, having the rest of the world on my schedule would mean giving up the things I like about it. What I really want is to have only certain people on my schedule, only when I need them to be. Is that so much to ask?? 

5 hours ago, Bastet said:

I am not allowed to get up, since my cat sleeps either on top of or tucked into me. 

I get it. I have dogs now, both of whom are completely disinterested in my sleep patterns. But years ago, I had 3 cats: one would sleep at the top of my head, one would sleep against my chest, and the third would be under the covers, tucked into the back of my knees. Once positioned, there was no moving. At all. Bossy cats.

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The world revolves around morning people. If one is a night person, unable to rise at dawn, cheerfully greeting the day, one is made to feel like a 2 legged sloth, a waster of precious time. It took many years, but I'm finally immune to these comments. My favorite scene in The Big Chill is when Jeff Goldberg shuffles into the kitchen (probably at mid-morning, everyone else is out jogging in their new sneakers) and asks Glenn Close, "Am I the first one up?" 🥱

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6 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

My favorite scene in The Big Chill is when Jeff Goldberg shuffles into the kitchen (probably at mid-morning, everyone else is out jogging in their new sneakers) and asks Glenn Close, "Am I the first one up?" 🥱

And then he says he slept like a baby, "Even wet the bed..."

The late Warren Zevon's last song, Keep Me In Your Heart, has the lyric, "When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun..."  which I've always taken to mean we're not supposed to get up pre-dawn.

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