Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

S03.E13: Miami Vices


  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

Kristen creates chaos at SUR when she ambushes Tom Sandoval with the girl he allegedly slept with in Miami. Scheana erupts at Kristen over her actions, causing a huge scene in front of customers. Lisa jumps to action to keep SUR running and discipline her staff after Miami Girl's disruption. Katie adjusts to life without Stassi.

  • Love 1
Link to comment

I loved how Kristen was totally beside herself about the entire scenario, following them and giving a running commentary. Whatever the situation turns out to be, if Miami girl was real hookup or she's some crazed psycho stalker (which we already know Kristen is!) it won't disappoint.

 

I mean we do know FI Tom and Jax used to live in Miami....this chick very well could be someone he knew from the past, and is trying to capitalize on the present/aka VPR to get her 15mins. I think any random skanky chick from Miami could have contacted Kristen on IG and said she slept with FI Tom and she'd pursue the lead like a rabid dog. I still don't understand why this confrontation wasn't orchestrated during the what, 4-5 days they were all in Miami? I guess that just wouldn't be as dramatic; and it would make so much more sense!

 

Oh well. Either way, I can't waiiiiiit!!!

  • Love 7
Link to comment

Kristin: "That explains why she wants to come up here to clear her name. They did more than just have sex, they talked for eight hours."

Um, no Kristin that doesn't explain anything!

 

I wonder where James was while Kristin was at SUR watching this mess go down.

Edited by Granimal
  • Love 2
Link to comment

I loved how Kristen was totally beside herself about the entire scenario, following them and giving a running commentary. Whatever the situation turns out to be, if Miami girl was real hookup or she's some crazed psycho stalker (which we already know Kristen is!) it won't disappoint.

 

I mean we do know FI Tom and Jax used to live in Miami....this chick very well could be someone he knew from the past, and is trying to capitalize on the present/aka VPR to get her 15mins. I think any random skanky chick from Miami could have contacted Kristen on IG and said she slept with FI Tom and she'd pursue the lead like a rabid dog. I still don't understand why this confrontation wasn't orchestrated during the what, 4-5 days they were all in Miami? I guess that just wouldn't be as dramatic; and it would make so much more sense!

 

Oh well. Either way, I can't waiiiiiit!!!

I would love it if Miami Girl was some hook-up FI Tom had back in the day when he and Jax lived in Miami. Especially if she's like Kristen and wants him back/will do anything to destroy his current relationship. How would Kristen handle the mirror her? Would SUR explode with two of them in the same building? Enquiring minds and all that.

  • Love 4
Link to comment

So it seems both Ariana and FI Tom were working when they decided to bail on their shift, hop in an Uber and hightail it out of there.  Lisa better fire their asses!!  Who is allowed to do that and still keep their jobs? Oh wait….I must remind myself this is a TV show, not the real world.  

 

Tom's Miami fling looked pretty rough.  But then he doesn't exactly have the best taste in women.

  • Love 5
Link to comment

It looks like Diana (is she what - asst. manager or something - she's appeared so little I can't recall) is plenty pissed over this and orders them out of there.  And Kristin's affect during that scene appears to be somewhat deflated -- she's either crying or on the verge of tears and disses Diana when she tells them they need to get out.  Which makes me wonder what preceded it - the synopsis I've seen is that this incident created a big scene witnessed by patrons and Lisa gets angry over it.  Wouldn't surprise me if she arrives, learns both Tom and Ariana have bailed and that Kristin is at the root of it all and set the stage for it at HER restaurant, disrupting HER business.  It may be she tells Kristin this is the last straw and fires her ass and hence the "get out of Dodge- NOW" from Diana and would account for what appears to be Kristin's visibly agitated state.  Lisa did hint at this during her appearance on WWHL early in the season when a caller/tweet asked her how far that idiot Kristin had to go before Lisa would fire her (after the altercation at Scheana's party).  Lisa said "stay tuned and see what happens later in the season - you'll get your answer" (paraphrasing here).  This may be what she was referring to.  And apparently Scheana also lays into Kristin over the incident.  And James, seriously?  If you really even remotely cared for this woman the first thing out of your mouth when she hatched this stupid scheme should have been "this is going to make you look nothing but petty and mean.  And in all probability, it's going to backfire on you if you bring that woman into SUR.  If you do this, I'm afraid we're done.  Period."  Hell, I think a REAL boyfriend would have walked away a loooooong time ago. 

 

Even if Tom hooked up with this girl in Miami - and frankly I'm not all that sure he did - it was no doubt soon after he broke up with Kristin.  He and Ariana are dating - they are not engaged, they are not living together.  Dating.  But in Kristin's mind, she somehow sees this as the moral equivalence of her sleeping with her boyfriend's best friend (while he was in the next room) not once but TWICE.  And I'd love to see how in Kristin's delusional world her pulling this stunt, even if it did have the effect of breaking up Tom and Ariana, is going to ENDEAR Tom to her to the point that he's taking her back.  Lady needs serious meds.  And therapy.  And if she keeps this behavior up?  Jail time.

  • Love 6
Link to comment

Um... I have just one thing to say about "Miami Girl." Ok I have 2. Mid 20s??? For real?  Damn. 

 

In other news---MONDAY CAN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH!  

 

"Miami Girl" and Jax apparently were dropped off by the same spaceship from the same genetically wonky planet.  Sure, she's mid-20s and Jax is not yet 40.  Okay.

 

I did love that the caption read "Annemarie - Miami Girl" like we're that stupid.  Kristen was clearly about to lose what remains of her cigarette, coffee and booze infested mind upon hearing that FI did nothing but talk about her. 

 

Oh, to be that Uber driver and hear FI and the Nugget's conversation as they hauled ass away from the "stalker."   To quote FI's TH - - oh shit.

 

Schwartz was in med school?  Really?  No, really?  I'm happy to see that he's working at least and hey, no panic attacks!  And it tickles me that he calls Tequila Katie "Bubba."

  • Love 8
Link to comment

"Miami Girl" and Jax apparently were dropped off by the same spaceship from the same genetically wonky planet.  Sure, she's mid-20s and Jax is not yet 40.  Okay.

 

I did love that the caption read "Annemarie - Miami Girl" like we're that stupid.  Kristen was clearly about to lose what remains of her cigarette, coffee and booze infested mind upon hearing that FI did nothing but talk about her. 

 

Oh, to be that Uber driver and hear FI and the Nugget's conversation as they hauled ass away from the "stalker."   To quote FI's TH - - oh shit.

 

Schwartz was in med school?  Really?  No, really?  I'm happy to see that he's working at least and hey, no panic attacks!  And it tickles me that he calls Tequila Katie "Bubba."

Nope. Pre med and med school are totally different things.  Pre-Med usually means you take a shit ton of science classes.

  • Love 3
Link to comment

LOVED it when FI Tom tore out of SUR like his hair was on fire!! OMG, that was funny!! Kristen and friend (whatshername) sitting at that table like they had front row seats to WWE Smackdown was absolutely hysterical, too.  Swartzie hopping around while modeling suits, priceless.

This show.. this show.. The joke that keeps on giving!

Edited by goofygirl
  • Love 9
Link to comment

I only caught the last few minutes, I thought Kristen brought Miami in on purpose, like a trophy to show off. Was she supposed to be working? Either way, it was priceless watching FI Tom flip shit and tear off mumbling about psycho stalkers....which could probably apply to either chick in this instance. I mean, even if he did bang Miami, what chick goes all Sherlock on a guy she hooked up with while he was on vacation...then decides it's a good idea to fly across the country to assist his crazy ex in her scheme to wreck his current relationship?

 

That shit's just twisted.


And really, who gives that much of a shit about a random hookup?

  • Love 8
Link to comment

I thought she was on the clock and shirked her duties to watch. 

 

How would an outsider know the difference?   ;-)

 

This show makes me squee in a most unseemly and embarrassing way.  My cat is giving me the side-eye, and knows when it's Monday night.  Not a good sign, my peeps.

  • Love 16
Link to comment

Kristen: serious nutjob. Miami girl came there to "clear her name"? Maybe I'm too old, but I remember a time when you didn't "kiss and tell.". And MG's description of the evening she spent with Tom was miles away from Jax's drunken bathroom hook-ups. He was distressed and she was alone; they made a connection and did what young, attractive people do to comfort one another. End of tale.

Why Kristen feels the need to monitor Tom's activities post-break-up and to keep her wounds open by seeking opportunities to witness his happiness with someone else is a mystery, but I think that she feels guilty and dirty about her own infidelty and hopes to cleanse that by muddying him. Won't work, Kristen. For the sake of your mental health, you have to move on.

Tom had to remove himself from what could only be an unpleasant scene in his workplace. "Guilty" or not, a rational person hoping to stay employed would do the same.

Kristen wants to destroy his relationship and his livelihood. I imagine that will endear you to him in perpetuity, K. Good work! Well done! Don't break your arm patting your own back!

Somebody commit her. Or at least, recalibrate her meds.

Jesus, these people drink a lot.

Edited by SFoster21
  • Love 11
Link to comment

Miami chick telling Kristen that she deserves better. Huh? She does know that they are broken up and Tom has a new girlfriend , right? Nothing these people do or say make any sense at all and I love every minute of it even though I believe it's all scripted! 

  • Love 3
Link to comment

Yesssss. and - Is this what the world is coming to?

Exactly my thought. I cannot believe it is Friday and I am actually looking forward to Monday. I hate Mondays!  Or I used to.

 

I am enjoying this way too much.

  • LOL 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment

How would an outsider know the difference?   ;-)

 

This show makes me squee in a most unseemly and embarrassing way.  My cat is giving me the side-eye, and knows when it's Monday night.  Not a good sign, my peeps.

OMG you guys are all outdoing yourselves. Genetically wonky  planet, Bunny broiler to the above, How, indeed would you know the differnce?.

 

 I swear this forum is even funnier than the show. And that, my friends is a true compelement because the show is freaking hysterical.     

  • Love 7
Link to comment

Exactly my thought. I cannot believe it is Friday and I am actually looking forward to Monday. I hate Mondays!  Or I used to.

 

I am enjoying this way too much.

 

chlban - I hit my daily quota of Likes, but thumbs up.  And I am pathetically lame enough to LIVE for Monday nights.  At least until I get me some Walking Dead or Game of Thrones action.  :-d

  • Love 2
Link to comment

This show, this show, this show...

 

How in the fresh hell does it just get better and better every single episode?

 

I'm absolutely mystified.

 

As much as I reveled in the fuckery that was RHOBH on Tuesday night, it's still Monday night and this little shit-covered gem I'm living for.

 

Cigarette Sally and her sidekick, sitting directly across from an unsuspecting FI Tom, waiting for Miami Girl to arrive.

 

The look on FI Tom's face when he sees who's just bellied up to the bar and looks as if he'd rather spontaneously combust than deal with this.

 

Pacing all around SUR whilst texting with Ariana, waiting for the Uber to arrive, while the Psycho Posse stalks his every move, complete with cat-calling and heckling.

 

Honest to goddess, it just doesn't get any better than this show.  It just doesn't.

 

Hell, I've already got plans to go shopping Monday afternoon to get an economy-sized bottle of prosecco and all the makings of a caprese salad to have whilst viewing this gem.  It's embarrassingly the highlight of my TV viewing week.

 

More, Bravo, more!!!  

Edited by Persnickety1
  • Love 13
Link to comment

Kristen: serious nutjob. Miami girl came there to "clear her name"? Maybe I'm too old, but I remember a time when you didn't "kiss and tell.".

How would MiamiGirl know Kristen's been telling everyone about what happened?

  • Love 2
Link to comment

Even if Tom hooked up with this girl in Miami - and frankly I'm not all that sure he did - it was no doubt soon after he broke up with Kristin.  He and Ariana are dating - they are not engaged, they are not living together.  Dating.  But in Kristin's mind, she somehow sees this as the moral equivalence of her sleeping with her boyfriend's best friend (while he was in the next room) not once but TWICE.  And I'd love to see how in Kristin's delusional world her pulling this stunt, even if it did have the effect of breaking up Tom and Ariana, is going to ENDEAR Tom to her to the point that he's taking her back.  Lady needs serious meds.  And therapy.  And if she keeps this behavior up?  Jail time.

Yes! Totally agree with this. Maybe I'm a person of low morality, but I was watching this with my partner and neither of us considered this to be cheating. From the sounds of it, Tom and Ariana had been dating for a few weeks and he went on vacation and slept with someone else. I just don't see this as a big deal. Ariana and Tom don't seem like a serious couple now let alone when this took place. They're in their twenties and haven't been dating for years or living together, so who knows if they were expecting/wanting a monogamous relationship at that point? If Tom and Ariana had been messing around while he was with Kristin, and then got together right after he and Kristen broke up, then Ariana would have to be crazy to expect monogamy from him. And come to think of it, if Ariana was willing to have this "affair" with Tom while he was with his girlfriend of 6 years, then Tom shouldn't have expected monogamy from Ariana right away either. What is with the jumping into a relationship that goes on in these shows? No one dates for awhile anymore? If these people were not so fast to jump into relationships there would probably be a lot less cheating happening down the road.

  • Love 3
Link to comment

My thought on all of this is he can diffuse the situation by being up front with Ariana as to who this chick is and where she fits on the timeline.  If it was in fact early on in their relationship, post-nutcase for him and prior to him and Ariana getting super-serious (for lack of better term), then Ariana would be able to look everyone square in the eye and say, "Who cares?" and move on.  That's the convo that should be happening in the Uber, the 'here's what happened and who she is' convo.

 

Really, in the scheme of things, Ariana is smart enough to know that this was a set-up by psycho girl - one more straw on the camel's back.  If the two of them have the conversation now (in the timeline of the show), they can stand united and make psycho girl look more psycho, having gone way too far in her mission to break the couple up.

 

Lisa, I hope you did fire her and, in fact, ban her from your properties.  I am sure you've watched most of this season to know that psycho girl is the cause of all of this and she is toxic to your staff and, now, to your guests.  No one need this person, she's not indispensable.  Get her gone.

  • Love 2
Link to comment

Lisa, I hope you did fire her and, in fact, ban her from your properties. I am sure you've watched most of this season to know that psycho girl is the cause of all of this and she is toxic to your staff and, now, to your guests. No one need this person, she's not indispensable. Get her gone.

Totally agree that Tom should just be upfront with Ariana. I haven't seen this first look, but you guys have gotten me all aflutter in anticipation!

I wonder what Lisa cares about more: Her restaurant or her television shows? Granted, she kept all of these chucklefucks on board for years before this show, so for someone who apparently takes great pride in ensuring that every glass sparkles and every floral arrangement has nary a droopy petal, she doesn't seem to care about the unprofessional scenes they throw in front of customers and drinking in the alley, etc. In fact, she seems to looove getting all up in their business. And I think this was going on before the show. I remember the first season when the staff came over to shoot promotional bikini photos at their house, and just how creepy it was with her and her husband staring at these kids (well, at the time I thought they were like 22). And they said this was an annual thing--before there was a TV show! Then the next year they made them get naked! (That may have been Stassi's idea.) It just almost seems like these perverted old rich people were like, let's open a restaurant and hire beautiful people who will tell us all about their sex lives. That's why it's called Sexy Unique Restaurant. It's not about food--a unique idea to hire some sexy young people. But now these people are getting boring to the Van Der Pumps. The husband's probably like I want to hear more gay sex tales, so let's open Pump! Anyway, Lisa might be tiring of Kristin's crap, and she's definitely bad for the business of SUR, but she's priceless for the business of Van Der Pump Rules. Which is more important?

(As to not slander the Van Der Pumps. I have no knowledge of any improper behavior and/or fetishes. Just expounding on the creepy feeling I get when they get a little too involved and/or make them wear nothing but body paint and feathers and the like.)

  • Love 4
Link to comment

I for one believe he flat ironed with Miami Girl after a long talk. Tom likes to forge intense emotional bonds as a form of foreplay -- hence a psychotic ex and a new gf with whom he leapt into true wuv, multiple tear soaked confessions, and perhaps a spurned Miami hookup object who thought they had, like, A CONNECTION. Also, my personal favorite..."I wasn't admitting to lying when I told Jax I shouldn't have to ask him to lie...I was quoting a movie with Kevin Hart!"

Sane people don't stay in a relationship with Kristen for six years!

6Aq0F5J.jpg

Edited by The Mighty Peanut
  • Love 6
Link to comment
"I wasn't admitting to lying when I told Jax I shouldn't have to ask him to lie...I was quoting a movie with Kevin Hart!"

 

My favorite thing about this defense is that the line that he's quoting is from Hart's comedy bit where he talks about cheating on his wife and being mad that his friend outs him.

  • Love 4
Link to comment
They're in their twenties and haven't been dating for years or living together,

 

 

Neither FI Tom or Ari are in their 20's.  Sorry to nitpick, but while FI would luv for us to believe he's in his 20's, I suspect his age is something that really bugs him -- a lot.  Remember, that's what motivated him to slug Muppet James -- when he said FI was a 31 year old loser.  OK, well, I don't remember if James called him a loser (I couldn't help adding that in), but he did out him as being 31 & man, FI looked really pissed at that.

 

I think Scheana mentioned something about Ari & her being the same age & I think Scheana is also 31.  Seems like the only ones who are in their 20's on the show are:  Muppet James, Stassi & Pandie.  And maybe Kristina too.  But since Kristina is a soulless fembot, she has no age.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
  • Love 2
Link to comment

The boyfriend, who really does not like most reality shows, was suckered into watching the First Look with me, and was disappointed to see it end. Because this looks crazy!

 

While I understand Kristin being hurt by Tom's cheating, I also don't understand her vigilante take to this. I mean, what does she think is going to happen? Tom will come running back? In Miami, he had his tearful talk with her, but went back into the restaurant to his girlfriend. He doesn't want to go back to her, if he did she gave him plenty of opportunities (dressing up to pick up her mail, etc)

  • Love 1
Link to comment

The boyfriend, who really does not like most reality shows, was suckered into watching the First Look with me, and was disappointed to see it end. Because this looks crazy!

 

While I understand Kristin being hurt by Tom's cheating, I also don't understand her vigilante take to this. I mean, what does she think is going to happen? Tom will come running back? In Miami, he had his tearful talk with her, but went back into the restaurant to his girlfriend. He doesn't want to go back to her, if he did she gave him plenty of opportunities (dressing up to pick up her mail, etc)

This is why I both secretly adore and can't support Kristen. Arianna is smug, she and Tom did cheat when they were both attached (whether it was a kiss or something more), and Arianna is being foolish in thinking she is the cure to Tom's serial cheating ways. So, I understand Kristen wanting to prove that...but then SHE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM AFTER PROVING CONCLUSIVELY HE IS A DOUCHE. Sorry for yelling, but it's just, I don't know, astonishing even by VPR standards.

  • Love 11
Link to comment

Neither FI Tom or Ari are in their 20's.  Sorry to nitpick, but while FI would luv for us to believe he's in his 20's, I suspect his age is something that really bugs him -- a lot.  Remember, that's what motivated him to slug Muppet James -- when he said FI was a 31 year old loser.  OK, well, I don't remember if James called him a loser (I couldn't help adding that in), but he did out him as being 31 & man, FI looked really pissed at that.

 

I think Scheana mentioned something about Ari & her being the same age & I think Scheana is also 31.  Seems like the only ones who are in their 20's on the show are:  Muppet James, Stassi & Pandie.  And maybe Kristina too.  But since Kristina is a soulless fembot, she has no age.

 

 

 

Ariana is still technically in her 20s... she'll be 30 this June.  With the exception of Jax, it's safe to say that this cast is all in their late 20s/early 30s.

 

-Scheana is also 29.  She'll be 30 this May

-Sandovahl is 31.

-Katie just turned 29.

-Krazy Kristin is 31 but will be 32 on Feb 19.

-Schwartzie is 32.

 

 

Sure it's possible a few of them may have shaved a year off here or there, but honestly, those ages seem right to me.

  • Love 2
Link to comment

How would MiamiGirl know Kristen's been telling everyone about what happened?

I'm guessing Kristen confessed as much after the two met each other at a meeting of Lunatics Anonymous.

While my rational mind tells me that Lisa will have to fire Kristen after this, my BRAVO infested brain screams NO! For any one else who watched the first version of this show, "Melrose Place" you will probably recall that it was never the same after losing their own verison of Kristen, Kimberly Shaw. I suppose even if fired she could continue to hang around, being a Stalker and all. But still.

Minor spoiler alert:

I peeked at the on line synopsis of next weeks (Feb 2nd.) episode of this and it read something like "Sheanna reconsiders inviting Kristen to her wedding". I don't know why, but that totally cracked me up. Sheanna has managed to distinguish herself in a sea of self absorbed losers as the new Queen. Kristen and the side piece go all Glen Close on Sandoval

at work, he looks utterly terrified, it seems Kristen will be fired and meanwhile Sheanna is pondering whether Kristen will be allowed to attend the Royal Wedding. Because, really, it's all about her.

God I love this show.

Edited by OnceSane
spoilers, no matter how minor, need to be tagged
  • Love 4
Link to comment

And like a hug from baby jeebus, I've got the warm fuzzies because it's finally Monday night.

 

I can't even express how much I'm looking forward to the "We Had Sex/We Did Not Have Sex" fuckery.

 

Unfortunately, as every Monday, I have to work and won't be able to watch until my shift is over.

 

My thanks in advance to PTV'ers who will be posting about what I will see unfold tonight.  

 

This forum is truly the proverbial cherry on the VPR sundae.

 

(Counting down to tonight...)

  • Love 2
Link to comment

Well, here we are in the face of a blizzard and I don't even care. I only care that the power stays on so I can watch this episode several times as I am thirsty to see it after reading these posts. For some reason my DVR did not record the first look, but in some ways that makes it all the better because I will get a fresh 44 minutes instead of only a fresh 33 minutes. Either way I am so excited for this little gem!

Edited by bblancobrnx
  • Love 3
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...