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Ariana Madix: Smarter and Prettier than You!


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Her IMDB list what appear to be a bunch of B-rated horror flicks. But she also is listed as having appeared on Dads and Anger Management. 

 

She's 29, was born in Melbourne, FL and attended Flagler college (no idea if she graduated or what she was studying), which I believe is in St. Augustine. 

 

According to her Instagram she and FI appear very much together and she also really loves horses. 

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(edited)

Her IMDB list what appear to be a bunch of B-rated horror flicks. But she also is listed as having appeared on Dads and Anger Management. 

 

She's 29, was born in Melbourne, FL and attended Flagler college (no idea if she graduated or what she was studying), which I believe is in St. Augustine. 

 

According to her Instagram she and FI appear very much together and she also really loves horses. 

According to my surfing, she was enrolled as Theatre Arts Major and is turned on by guys who want her to have their babies and live in the suburbs.

Edited by runforcover
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She has a younger brother that was at Scheana/Schay's parties in Miami. I think her dad passed away last year or the year before. She models for Flower Gypsies and Crystal Cult (flower crowns and sunglasses). She's been bartending at Lisa's restaurants for several years now.

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During the final Miami dinner, Tom asked her if she was eating, and she said something like "Yes, I'm eating today."

 

Was this in reference to the earlier conversation and her not being able to eat because of Kristin, or is this another "no eating while show is taping" situation?

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During the final Miami dinner, Tom asked her if she was eating, and she said something like "Yes, I'm eating today."

Was this in reference to the earlier conversation and her not being able to eat because of Kristin, or is this another "no eating while show is taping" situation?

Yeah, on the ride over she was saying how she's so distraught over Kristin mean girling her that she hasn't eaten in 3 days. So Tom was celebrating and Ariana was in near tears over "Look at you eating!"

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I didn't mind Ariana so much last year. I thought she seemed nice, relaxed, someone that got Tom and would be good for him. Now, I definitely don't think she's BAD for him. They don't have a toxic relationship like he and Kristen did. They just seem very bland, and maybe that's good. Maybe boring relationship = longevity? I don't know, we're all so different. If it works for them....

 

....but there is just something about her that is bothering me this year. She seems very smug and artificial....and something I just can't quite put my finger on. 

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(edited)

 

....but there is just something about her that is bothering me this year. She seems very smug and artificial....and something I just can't quite put my finger on. 

For me, it's the insistence that she is above SUR nonsense-drama, that she has a more mature perspective than the rest of these dopes, that she is made of better stuff. By this year, I'm, like, Ok, you're on a dark, dark spin off of an in famously dark show.  You are in the depths of lowness, in what ways are you exempt?  This isn't to say that she couldn't distinguish herself. Lisa VP does an excellent job of positioning herself as RH exception.  Even Stassi managed it in prior seasons.  I don't believe Ariana.  

Edited by runforcover
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I think Ariana represents the dichotomy that exists for all these people  On one hand they work there.  On the other hand they are eagerly jumping through silly hoops and playing some kind of late eighties tween dating board game that too many seem to get more invested than just playing a part would or should allow.  And while Ariana clearly thinks she is "above" it which I suspect is in huge part because a lot of what she is doing is fake, she is also stupid enough to realize that the disdain she seems to have shows through and illustrate why she is on the show and attention whoring for the Vanderpimp while serving up drinks and not a regular actress on a real scripted drama/comedy and why the only talk show she will ever be asked on is Cohens where she has to simper and pout and pretend to find him witty and fun in between him spacing out every time he sees something sparkle flash or merely reflect the lifght for an instant.

 

I think she is probably the smartest of the bunch and has no real emotional ties to anyone.  Including that vapid rat toothed Tom she dates (At least for the show, they seem even faker than he did with Kristen and that was before Kristen started that bizarre method acting approach to letting her inner crazy just take the fuck over).  So part of what I sense is that she thinks when the cameras are off she can "go back" to what she is and the rest of them are way too invested in this show being IT.  But smarter than the rest of them doesn't mean she isn't a raging moron in not realizing that for her?  This is IT, too.

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If you really want to speculate, I believe they're all assigned specific "roles" to play. Jax is the classic douche, Stassi is the "mean girl," Scheana is the fun party girl, Kristen is the crazy one, Ariana is the "too cool for school" girl, etc. Either Ariana really thinks she's above the drama there, or that's just what her "role" is. Or maybe she is just really insecure. I don't believe any girl would be completely cool with their boyfriend's ex maliciously pining away for them the way Kristen is. No one is that secure. And so Ariana overcompensates and pretends like she is above it all when she really isn't at all. 

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I think there's a large amount of confidence to be gained when your "competition" is an unrepentant psycho like Kristin is. 

 

I still like her, she's deep enough in the drama to be on the show proper and not a hanger on like Kristina or random Sur busboys not named James, but she's not uber obsessed.

 

I'll be interested to see her reaction to Miami girl in person, though, but I still can't see her snot-crying like Sandoval and the bunny boiler do.

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I can't believe that we have an Ariana thread now! A gift that I will always treasure. Love the title. I'm sure Ariana would too!

 

Wow. I had no idea she was 29. I assumed she was around 24. Now I find her even more obnoxious!

 

The first few times that Ariana was on screen I had no issue with her. I thought that she was a cool sexy bartender chick who would end up being my favorite. Now? She may (or may not) be all these things, but she's also such a pompous condescending dumb ass! I read her first few Bravo blogs this season and she came off badly. More of her, "I have a genius-level IQ, so if I don't see a problem then there isn't a problem" shtick. Seeing those words amidst her crappy writing style was the first strike for me. I'd have to dig up those blogs, but there was plenty more to snark on. As I recall, she insisted that she knew Tom didn't cheat on her because she had an ability (made possible by her genius-level IQ and enormous ego) to evaluate all situations clearly, logically, and without emotion. So if she tells us there is no problem, then there is no problem.

 

Ultimately Ariana reminds me of the "Cool Girl" stereotype made famous by Gone Girl. I see her running around in her galaxy- print leggings with flowers in her hair yapping about how she's so cool that she plays Donkey Kong (not Candy Crush!) when her boyfriend's ex is around, because she doesn't give a shit. Because why? Oh yeah, because she's prettier and smarter than you! She has a genius-level IQ! If she doesn't see anything to worry about then there is nothing to worry about! Why? Because she is a person of extreme intelligence who is able to evaluate all situations with logic and clarity and without emotions! I'm getting off tack, but my impression of her is that she tries really hard to be "cool" all the time and thinks of herself as the "smarter unique outsider". I prefer my reality tv stars to be of the "sobbing batshit-crazy-mess" variety. Ari is too much like some kind of  hipster Vulcan for me.
I get it Ariana, you are cool and rational. Now get off my TV!

 

* Except don't because you're my favorite love-to-hate right now.

Edited by Granimal
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Agree with your post, Granimal!

 

While I know that there are very intelligent people who are in acting, I still don't understand why someone with a genius level IQ would want to be in Vanderpump Rules? Why not become a real star, or work on actual problems, and make a difference in the world? I guess I am biased, because most people I know with really high IQs are doing phenomenal things with it (or at worst, at least interesting things). I can understand if she were writing a novel, or doing this while pursuing her PhD, or working on a sociological reality show experiment. There are plenty of genius people who also did normal or crazy things, heck even Richard Feynman played bongo drums in Brazil. But I don't think I need to elaborate on his other achievements. 

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"Genius level IQ" doesn't always equate to genius (Richard Feynman's was only 125), nor does it always relate to ambition or achievement.  I've known plenty of "genius losers", and smart people who worked hard to achieve greatness.  But for all the super intelligent people I've known or met, not a single one has EVER bragged about, or even mentioned their own IQ.  Ariana must be very insecure to feel the need mention hers.

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I didn't see this latest episode yet, nor have I read her blogs, but these descriptions of her with a genius IQ but emotionless and rational and Vulcan-like sound like Asperger Syndrome. My son has Asperger's, and he's totally an emotionless genius and acts like Spock. However, Ariana never struck me as having Asperger's, so I'm going to throw my vote in that it's now somewhat trendy to have Asperger's, so she's just Hipster acting Vulcan and/or Gone Girl Cool Chick.

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I didn't see this latest episode yet, nor have I read her blogs, but these descriptions of her with a genius IQ but emotionless and rational and Vulcan-like sound like Asperger Syndrome. My son has Asperger's, and he's totally an emotionless genius and acts like Spock. However, Ariana never struck me as having Asperger's, so I'm going to throw my vote in that it's now somewhat trendy to have Asperger's, so she's just Hipster acting Vulcan and/or Gone Girl Cool Chick.

 

Also, Ariana doesn't strike me as all that smart/rational/fast and/or gifted at processing.  And I don't think she can pull the IQ card as PRECISELY the reason she's not emotionally savvy enough to NOT talk about her IQ.  Her blogs read like she took a university course and actually remembers some intro to whatever textbook. and, maybe JUST MAYBE, due to some rote memory thing plus having no actual intellectual or creative curiosity to read beyond, she spits out some yawn-inducing answer to a freshman exam.  

 

Dude, you are on Vanderpump rules, stop diagnosing people with personality disorders and show us where YOU IN FACT LIE in cluster B - that cluster where all reality TV holds its casting calls!  

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  • 2 weeks later...

I like her but it's probably because it's slim pickings on this show.

 

But I can't believe Kristen bothers her THAT much that it makes her stomach hurt for 3 days.  Unless she's seriously scared of her.

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But I can't believe Kristen bothers her THAT much that it makes her stomach hurt for 3 days.  Unless she's seriously scared of her.

Would you not be scared with Kristen, on a vacation...where drinking heavily will be a daily event?  Plus it's a bachelorette event so you kind of have to stick it out unless you want to be that jackass who "ruined" it. I could have seen cray cray Kristen getting just drunk enough to let shit fly and cause a big scene. I don't blame Ariana one bit for feeling on edge the whole time. Kristen even admitted in all her TH's that she wished Ariana would fall into the ocean, and other such beautiful sentiments.

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Would you not be scared with Kristen, on a vacation...where drinking heavily will be a daily event?  Plus it's a bachelorette event so you kind of have to stick it out unless you want to be that jackass who "ruined" it. I could have seen cray cray Kristen getting just drunk enough to let shit fly and cause a big scene. I don't blame Ariana one bit for feeling on edge the whole time. Kristen even admitted in all her TH's that she wished Ariana would fall into the ocean, and other such beautiful sentiments.

 

Well that's what I'm saying - does Ariana really believe Kristine wants to kill her?  Then of course I understand if she's fearing for her life.  But if Kristen is causing her THAT much stress then she needs to tell Scheana to quit inviting her to stuff. 

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Well, Kristen was being a nasty bitch that entire trip. She was making comments about Ariana the entire time, just loud enough that you could tell she was making comments, but maybe not loud enough to know what she was saying. I doubt Ariana thought Kristen was going to legitimately kill her (that would be too easy, she wants Ari to suffer), but maybe just having the constant tension was stressing her out to the point that her stomach hurt? People react differently to stress; in some people it really manifests physically. Personally, I think Ariana was being a bit over the top with it, BUT....I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that such a weekend could cause someone to have an upset stomach. 

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My guess is it's a combination of too much drinking, not enough eating, and not being home with your personal bathroom surroundings. It tends to get harder to recover as we get older!

That's true - I'm in my early 30s and my stomach is a hot mess when I travel and that's even on vacations when I'm not stressed out. 

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I didn't mind Ariana so much last year. I thought she seemed nice, relaxed, someone that got Tom and would be good for him. Now, I definitely don't think she's BAD for him. They don't have a toxic relationship like he and Kristen did. They just seem very bland, and maybe that's good. Maybe boring relationship = longevity? I don't know, we're all so different. If it works for them....

 

....but there is just something about her that is bothering me this year. She seems very smug and artificial....and something I just can't quite put my finger on. 

This. I really don't like her this year. I also don't buy her and Tom as being "in love". I believe they are fond of each other and may even love each other. I love my ex husband but I now have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. That's more what I see with those two. Of course I am not convinced that Tom is straight, or at least that it's his first choice.

 

But I find her so damn smug. Like they are so happy, so in love, so perfect together and don't you forget it! I also think Tom did cheat but she is one of those women that will always look the other way. Which makes her a younger, prettier Hilary Clinton, without the brains.

 

I just really, really don't like her where I found her pretty OK last year. Stangely, Katie has gone the other way with me. Last year I didn't like her, where this year she has kind of won me over. I'm pretty sure that moment occurred when she told  Stassi to STFU. 

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(edited)

Here's a video put out about a year ago that includes Ariana (@ the beginning and end) She looks much different. I think she looks a lot better now in fact.

 

 

I  actually think she's an attractive gal.  Her personality doesn't do her any favours.  She does this weird frown-y thing.  Also, I can never tell how old these chicks really are because they inject so early.  She looks botoxed between the brows but who isn't?  Also, what is this sad piece of production?  Thanks for posting it!

Edited by runforcover
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I think Ariana's looks can go either way depending on styling. She looks her best on VR or WWHL. I just watched a video of her and FI Tom (Behind the Scenes at Okay Magazine) titled, "VR Tom and Ariana Refer to Kristen as Unintelligent and Obnoxious" and I didn't like her styling at all. I think her blonde hair really enhances her looks. I don't like her hair when its darker or not in her usual boho/hipster style. The title of the video refers to FI Tom and Ariana being asked if they would ever go on a double date with Kristen and James. Ariana replies, "Why would we hang out with obnoxious and unintelligent people." Yuck. This is one of my main gripes with Ariana. Fair or not, when someone goes on and on about how intelligent they are and calls others unintelligent it makes me assume that they're pretty unintelligent themselves.

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The title of the video refers to FI Tom and Ariana being asked if they would ever go on a double date with Kristen and James. Ariana replies, "Why would we hang out with obnoxious and unintelligent people." Yuck. This is one of my main gripes with Ariana. Fair or not, when someone goes on and on about how intelligent they are and calls others unintelligent it makes me assume that they're pretty unintelligent themselves.

 

Not to mention, FI Tom (God love him) does not come across as the most intelligent person himself. Just say you wouldn't hang out with her because of her constant harassment of you and your boyfriend. Why do we have to bring "smarts" into it? You hang out with Jax, for God's sake! 

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I do find it amusing that Ari likes to bring up her IQ. Saying it even once is too much honestly. A genius bartender on a reality show with a bunch of lovable dimwits. Being the best of this bunch is a prime example of how you can be a winner and a loser at the same time. 

In other news the reunion was filmed today! 

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This is certainly not the worst of Ariana's self-righteous blogging, but here is a quote from her Bravo blog titled Facts are Facts:

Sorry Scheana, but I do have to call you out on one thing. I heard "Ariana wouldn't want to believe that" in reference to something Jax would or wouldn't say about Tom, and you know me better than that. I don't have faith and I don't believe. Facts are facts, and there's no arguing with them. A really great technique for liars is to make passing comments that are somewhat unrelated to the main subject, and if you don't catch or correct them, you find yourself allowing them to permeate the greater psyche. If you ever studied debate, as I did, you are familiar with the terms "red herring" and "non sequitur." See how many times you can catch this happening in this group of people.

Yawn. She is so pedantic and aggressive about trying to portray an image of being chill and above it all that ironically she comes across as being the opposite. Girl if you're laid back then why give a crap if people think otherwise? You're portraying yourself as the complete opposite of laid back when you go on and on about silly things that most VR-watchers don't even remember.

Link: http://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/season-3/blogs/ariana-madix/ariana-facts-are-facts

Edited by OnceSane
removed bold, added quote tags
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LOL She thinks she's smart because she knows what red herring and non sequitur are? So do most people. But of course no one else at SUR does, so I guess I can see why she feels superior to all the rest of them. They probably can't even spell it.

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I would LOVE to see these chucklefucks in a full-on debate club. Lisa could be the moderator. The topics could include:

If a sexual encounter occurred but no one texted about it, did it really happen?

If a chick is bootleg, does it count as cheating?

Taking off shoes v. Motorboating a D?

Which city should one be more concerned about a boyfriend visiting: Vegas or Miami?

Which came first: the tweet or the truth?

Bro code: Honesty v. Loyalty?

Must both parties agree to a break-up?

Most critical fashion accessory for a mactor: flat iron v. chunky sweater?

Best Tom: Schwartz v. Sandoval?

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Man, does this girl have an ego or what? Maybe it stings that people are questioning not only FI Tom's fidelity, but the relationship itself. I mean I've had my suspicions and I still don't think they're an actual couple. Studying debate is all well and good but it isn't logical fallacy to assume Tom can cheat and then lie about it (there's an established precedent).

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Ariana is a two-face a la Seinfeld.  Remember the woman Jerry dated in the Festivus episode who was hot in some lights, and ugly in others?  Now, Ariana is never ugly, but in certain lights she looks really pretty, and certain other lights she looks kind of bland and tired. This happens in almost every episode and mr. cherry slushie and I have taken to yelling out "Good light!" and "Bad light!" whenever she appears on screen. 

 

Just thought I'd share that little theory.

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  • 8 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

"I've known I wasn't going to get married or have kids since I was 5 years old."

Aaaaagggh she's insufferable. She kind of stole this (well, something similar, "I've know since I was 5 years old...") from Six Feet Under. From the Brenda character no less! That character was a genius who was studied at a young age, due to her genius.

She thinks this makes her seem like a genius, even at 5 YEARS OLD!

I mean holy barf.

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"I've known I wasn't going to get married or have kids since I was 5 years old."

Aaaaagggh she's insufferable. She kind of stole this (well, something similar, "I've know since I was 5 years old...") from Six Feet Under. From the Brenda character no less! That character was a genius who was studied at a young age, due to her genius.

She thinks this makes her seem like a genius, even at 5 YEARS OLD!

I mean holy barf.

She's just so.....arggggg! Everything she does is so calculated for its most adorable cool girl-ness. It's like she's always posing in a romantic comedy by Jud Apatow ALL THE TIME! It's exhausting to watch.

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All I have to contribute is that I hate Ariana. I hate her more every time she opens her thin-lipped mouth.

Tom used to be marginally interesting when he was with Kristen. Ariana has been such a liability to his character on the show.

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She's just so.....arggggg! Everything she does is so calculated for its most adorable cool girl-ness. It's like she's always posing in a romantic comedy by Jud Apatow ALL THE TIME! It's exhausting to watch.

Whoever the poster was here who compared her to the "Cool Girl" Amy from "Gone Girl" was dead on---she is that characterization to a tee! It's like she studied that character down to a science, seriously.

I don't get this gal's supposed hotness, btw; she's a typical LA basic bitch to me, perhaps even moreso than the other one on there, LaLa. I always appreciate confidence and intelligence in any woman, but her all-encompassing smugness just slaps the natural attractiveness right out of her. And then there's the fact that she's turned FlatIron Tom into an emasculated, sniveling bore.

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I was just coming her to say that the poster who called her "Amazing Amy" was spot on. It's so true. All of her moves, everything she says, it's very calculated. Maybe one day she'll decide to fake her own death, pin it on Kristen, and go become a nuclear physicist in India. 

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Amazing Ariana is just too boring for reality TV.  Unfortunately, she's brought Tom down with her!  I guess it's good that James has decided to be Jax-lite and spice things up a bit.  

 

I also can't stand how she acts like Kristen viciously attacked her unprovoked.  Ummm, you "made out" with her boyfriend at the Golden Nugget.  Then you lied about it forever and tried to make everyone think Kristen was crazy and psychotic for thinking it ever happened.  Not to mention the inappropriate texting, getting into a relationship 5 seconds after Tom and Kristen split, being so smug at all times, etc.  She acts like we never saw any of that and she was a wronged, hurt victim of Kristen. I'm kind of glad Kristen doesn't give a crap about either of them this season and Amazing Ariana is starting to look petty for bashing Kristen every chance she gets.  

Edited by Dev
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Amazing Ariana is just too boring for reality TV. Unfortunately, she's brought Tom down with her! I guess it's good that James has decided to be Jax-lite and spice things up a bit.

I also can't stand how she acts like Kristen viciously attacked her unprovoked. Ummm, you "made out" with her boyfriend at the Golden Nugget. Then you lied about it forever and tried to make everyone think Kristen was crazy and psychotic for thinking it ever happened. Not to mention the inappropriate texting, getting into a relationship 5 seconds after Tom and Kristen split, being so smug at all times, etc. She acts like we never saw any of that and she was a wronged, hurt victim of Kristen. I'm kind of glad Kristen doesn't give a crap about either of them this season and Amazing Ariana is starting to look petty for bashing Kristen every chance she gets.

I also thought she was completely transparent at the nail truck. "It's not Lala's fault!". Oh...WHATEVER! Yes we all know. You and Tom were innocent victims who did nothing wrong at the Golden Nugget and if you did it was only because Kristen is so awful all her boyfriends get cheating passes. We've heard. You've mentioned all this many times. Go back to your sofas and eggs and adulting and shut up!

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