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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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39 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

ETA another OH! They had the nerve to act as if I should have known that they get rid of old batteries immediately. Obviously, I didn't assume that they keep them forever, but I don't know the exact policy unless they let me in on it -- and if they had, I'd have said, "please don't; I would like to return it to where I bought it" (and never mind that they knew that I bought it only a month ago from a completely different place). In fact, in an attempt to illustrate just how clueless I am, they offered this helpful analogy: "Well, we don't hang onto and give back your old oil when we do your oil changes." I mean, this wasn't $30; it was close to $200 and I'll thank you to not to just assume I'm OK "recycling" it

And now your car dealer’s so-called “service” employees have also given us an example of giving a rude response to a customer. 
Based on your experience and some of my recent experiences, I’m guessing that with the known shortage of labor/employees, we can expect to see more of this attitude towards customers. The old adage of “the customer is always right” seems to be getting replaced with “there are plenty of more customers out there—we don’t need you,” because surly employees are not going to be fired. 
 

ETA: I can forgive a bad attitude if the person you’re paying does the job. It’s when they think intimidation is a way of getting you to pay for shoddy work that I get mad.😡 

Edited by shapeshifter
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39 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Have you contacted their corporate office or are you working with the local dealership? 

The corporate office; the local dealership didn't have anything to do with financing, which is fine because everyone who worked there was extremely frustrating when I originally picked up the car (I still remember that day in details almost 4 years later, it was so bad). 

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4 minutes ago, emma675 said:

The corporate office; the local dealership didn't have anything to do with financing, which is fine because everyone who worked there was extremely frustrating when I originally picked up the car (I still remember that day in details almost 4 years later, it was so bad). 

Ugh. Unsoliciated advice but maybe try reaching out on Twitter or via FB Messenger. They should have social media teams monitoring those communications. Another option is to GOogle "company name office of the president" and call that number. You'll usually end up talking to a human who gets the message to people in high places and that trickle down will get results.

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7 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

The term “speaker phone” makes me laugh — it’s the “phone” part, I think. But it also reminds me a a peeve (that could also go in the annoying commercials thread): a product called “Cup Phone.” First of all, how imaginative! Second, wouldn’t it actually be a “phone cup”?

Get out of my head!  My husband now mutes this ad, so he doesn't have to hear me gripe about it, lol.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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13 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I don't mind hugs in general but being hugged tightly. I don't know if it's due to different creepy experiences I've had, but I hate when men I'm not close to do that. 

Yes, let's create a hug protocol.  Professionally, wait for the other person's cue, then barely close in, and only if you're comfortable.  Sort of the hug version of air kissing, and never a tight squeeze, imo.  I would even say to turn your head away from theirs, because well, pandemic.  

Seems weird to even be discussing this after the last 21 months.  I mean, a year ago, we were eulogizing the handshake.  That didn't last either.  Seems like hugs should be reserved for those we hold dear, not casual acquaintances and business colleagues.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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On 11/18/2021 at 1:39 PM, peacheslatour said:

Sadly there is not. But Seattle weather is not for everyone any way. I would love to have a bunch of us living on the same street. Imagine the block parties in the summer!

image.png.33a70a5be91f74b2e1cf34d6b748b7d4.png

Here’s a bit of trivia for you guys. That girl on the cover album’s (under the blanket with her now husband) name is Barbara E. I’ll withhold her last name and where she lives, but I went to nursing school with her. What a lovely person. She went on to be a school nurse (remember them back in the old days?). She was always so happy, cute when a little bit flustered, but such a kind and supportive lady. I always remember her with fondness. 

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My peeve for quite some time now: people calling any exchange of opinions on social, moral or any topical issues political. No, it's not political if you're not discussing specific political parties or ideologies. It is not political to want every group of people to have same human rights, it is not political to want something to be done about climate change or to want better sexual education and access to abortion for everyone. And it is certainly not political to encourage people to get vaccinated.

I feel that people often misuse that term so they can shut down any conversation they don't want to participate in, or even hear others participate in, with "let's not get political here".

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1 hour ago, JustHereForFood said:

My peeve for quite some time now: people calling any exchange of opinions on social, moral or any topical issues political. No, it's not political if you're not discussing specific political parties or ideologies. It is not political to want every group of people to have same human rights, it is not political to want something to be done about climate change or to want better sexual education and access to abortion for everyone. And it is certainly not political to encourage people to get vaccinated.

I feel that people often misuse that term so they can shut down any conversation they don't want to participate in, or even hear others participate in, with "let's not get political here".

For sure! I feel like some topics I tread softly just because OTHER people consider them political. 

I also get annoyed by people who call any sort of negative feedback cancel culture. Receiving criticism or backlash is not being canceled. 

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3 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

My peeve for quite some time now: people calling any exchange of opinions on social, moral or any topical issues political. No, it's not political if you're not discussing specific political parties or ideologies. It is not political to want every group of people to have same human rights, it is not political to want something to be done about climate change or to want better sexual education and access to abortion for everyone. And it is certainly not political to encourage people to get vaccinated.

I feel that people often misuse that term so they can shut down any conversation they don't want to participate in, or even hear others participate in, with "let's not get political here".

I agree, and I'm also tired of having it implied that my opinion or feelings mean nothing, when it comes to certain things, because I'm an incredibly biased whatever. Like, a long-term online friend is always both-sidesing things, and when we were talking about something this week, she acted as though I'd included something political in my comments. I just pointed out that I hadn't, and stopped talking, because she was actually acting really biased, and making assumptions about me. I ended up getting a bit upset, and a tension headache/feeling sick to my stomach, thanks to the headache, because I realized I'd wasted this time talking about something, just to have everything I'd said ignored, and hand-waved as my not even being serious, when I was, and I'm sick of it. They decided one question had to be rhetorical, when it wasn't, and I'm tired of starting to talk about something, with someone I consider a friend, only to end up slamming into a brick wall of "nope" when they are heavily biased themselves, but don't think that they are. 

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Oy vey, maybe this peeve is totally on me because I expected it. I posted to a sewing group on FB today because I bought a new machine (a replacement for the exact model I have—I broke something and the cost to repair it was only a little less than the cost of a new one) and it wasn’t working correctly. Anyway, oh my goodness, so many comments by people (presumably trying to help) who just didn’t read what I’d said that I’d already tried, or the ones asking if I’d read the manual (again, same model I’ve been using for years). Then there were the ones that assumed user error (or were not at all helpful, like, “well, everyone knows that brand sucks!”). And the comments that came after I amended the original post to say “TY, but I already returned it.” Ha, I should have trusted my gut and not asked!

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5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Oy vey, maybe this peeve is totally on me because I expected it. I posted to a sewing group on FB today because I bought a new machine (a replacement for the exact model I have—I broke something and the cost to repair it was only a little less than the cost of a new one) and it wasn’t working correctly. Anyway, oh my goodness, so many comments by people (presumably trying to help) who just didn’t read what I’d said that I’d already tried, or the ones asking if I’d read the manual (again, same model I’ve been using for years). Then there were the ones that assumed user error (or were not at all helpful, like, “well, everyone knows that brand sucks!”). And the comments that came after I amended the original post to say “TY, but I already returned it.” Ha, I should have trusted my gut and not asked!

Not totally on you!!  I notice these kind of posts ALWAYS have people who don’t read previous replies repeating the same basic stuff that 20 people have already suggested or that the original poster said they had tried (like you).  I own a rather diva-ish machine that many people hate and that one does tend to be user error for people who aren’t familiar with its quirks, I stay out of all discussions there!  

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Is it the Singer 4411?! 

I guess I thought that asking a specific group would be more helpful than asking Facebook at large? It was not, haha! There was also the tone-deafness of the people who said, “Return it and buy the $700 brand!” OK, no—at least not for the stuff I use the machine for!

Also, why is all my stuff breaking lately?! My car (as you all know), my sewing machine, my dresser, which was a whole headache because picky me likes a certain wood finish color and I have a few specific spatial issues (I ended up fixing that myself for about $20–yay!).

 

Edited by TattleTeeny
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Speaking of broken things, the maintenance guy finally "fixed" the dishwasher Friday, but I swear it still isn't working correctly. Unless the dial (yes, this dishwasher is so cheap it has a manual dial) is set to a specific point to turn it on—one tiny click after where it used to start—it doesn't cycle through correctly. It won't run on "hot start" or "heavy wash" at all. I guess we have to wait until it dies completely to get another cheap replacement that will die again in another year.

It's almost like the management could save money by buying a more reliable and slightly more expensive model in the first place.

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On 11/18/2021 at 11:47 AM, shapeshifter said:

Hey, if a house on your block becomes available, let me know! 
(only slightly kidding)

So, mine puts the nail in the wall and five minutes later, the picture falls down.  But, he’s now an expert in food shopping since retirement, and knows everyone in CVS Pharmacy and gets my meds.  Thank God I have a Son who comes to my rescue.  We bought a new car, so my Son set up the dashboard and temperature on heat.  On warm days, he opens all the windows as we both don’t know how to adjust it.  He won’t read the Manuel either.  Neither will I.  I am DONE and don’t care.

 

 

 

 

 

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I feel that people often misuse that term so they can shut down any conversation they don't want to participate in, or even hear others participate in, with "let's not get political here".

By the same token, the whole "cancel culture" thing. Yes, we do have a First Amendment, free speech. What that means is you're free to say anything without fear of government reprisal. It doesn't mean there won't be any consequences. People are equally free to ignore you, call you on your bullshit and tell you to shut up.

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People who assume you haven't gone through things like abuse, harassment or mental health struggles just because you don't talk about them. I've been open about all sorts of stuff on here because it's anonymous, but even among a lot of my family and friends, I find some stuff extremely difficult to talk about. I hate when someone's like "well you have no idea what it's like to blah blah." Yes sweetie, I do. We're not all comfortable going into the worst times of our lives. Just because I work, am nice to people and look put together, doesn't mean I haven't had problems. 

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14 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

By the same token, the whole "cancel culture" thing. Yes, we do have a First Amendment, free speech. What that means is you're free to say anything without fear of government reprisal. It doesn't mean there won't be any consequences. People are equally free to ignore you, call you on your bullshit and tell you to shut up.

As a civil rights lawyer, I am used to explaining some constitutional intricacies and am happy to do so (after all, as we learned from Thelma & Louise, "the law is some tricky shit") in even casual ways, but, holy shit, the number of people who think the First Amendment doesn't just limit the goverment's right to suppress or punish most (yet never all) speech, but grants some bizarre, non-existent carte blanche, where one can say whatever one wants without any consequence, public or private, drives me batty.

"Cancel culture" is a made-up term distorting the simple fact that words and actions have consequences.  It just used to be that the obscene power differential in our society meant there were no meaningful consequences for many harmful words and actions done by members of dominant groups, while there were debilitating consequences for those who spoke truth to power about disenfranchised groups; now that there is some slight measure of attention and resulting (usually temporary) consequence for punching down, previously shielded folks want to decry that cause and effect.

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8 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Is it the Singer 4411?! 

I guess I thought that asking a specific group would be more helpful than asking Facebook at large? It was not, haha! There was also the tone-deafness of the people who said, “Return it and buy the $700 brand!” OK, no—at least not for the stuff I use the machine for!

No, it’s a Bernina (purchased it before moving to the US - nowhere near as expensive as they are here!!) The FB groups can be useful but also a bit of a minefield.  Posters are often encouraged to choose $7k+ machines never mind $700! Mine is 15 years old now and still does everything I need, I sew or embroider most days but if it ever becomes unfixable I wouldn’t pay the price of a new one.

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On 11/17/2021 at 11:44 AM, RealHousewife said:

I've thought about asking current coworkers, but I want to keep my job hunt private. I'm still happy at my job, just open to more lucrative opportunities. Is it okay to put friends as references? I'd definitely feel much better listing friends who aren't from work.

I wouldn't consider a friend to be a reliable reference.  You might as well ask my mom. 

On 11/17/2021 at 12:47 PM, shapeshifter said:

I know that whenever I was asked to be a reference by a former coworker or a student that I always said only positive things about the person, because in my mind, that's what a reference does. 

If asked to write a letter of recommendation, I wrote a letter that would absolutely get them that job so much as it depended on that letter.
I probably went a little overboard, gushing about the person's good points, because I knew that others might not, and I think everyone deserves a chance. 

In contrast, the boss I had for 17 years did not believe in giving a reference without including something negative, which I think is both insane and wrong. (She was worried about her own reputation in case the person she recommended was hired didn't work out.)
Knowing that, I did not feel like I could ask her to be a reference.

And, unfortunately, employers reading less than glowing reference letters are not going to think: Gee. I guess they really don't want to lose that employee. We should hire her!

 

I've been used as a reference by more than one idiot.  Why would I recommend a poor worker?

On 11/17/2021 at 3:08 PM, Stats Queen said:

 

On the way back a metal water thermos tumbled down the aisle during takeoff. I tried to stop it and the guy two seats behind me grabbed it and relayed it to me. Turns out it was someone all the way up in 1st class who had no idea said water container was missing. 
I’ve dropped things before, but I am aware of what I dropped. The person didn’t even know it had happened.

Was the person holding it when it fell?  If not, that doesn't seem so strange.

On 11/18/2021 at 6:28 PM, SuprSuprElevated said:

Get out of my head!  My husband now mutes this ad, so he doesn't have to hear me gripe about it, lol.

You mean you don't mute all commercials?!

 

On 11/20/2021 at 3:55 PM, JustHereForFood said:

My peeve for quite some time now: people calling any exchange of opinions on social, moral or any topical issues political. No, it's not political if you're not discussing specific political parties or ideologies. It is not political to want every group of people to have same human rights, it is not political to want something to be done about climate change or to want better sexual education and access to abortion for everyone. And it is certainly not political to encourage people to get vaccinated.

 

And yet it now is political.

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Yikes! I went to a repair shop today and just looking at my old one (not the one I returned yesterday) is half the price of a new one, and that’s before determining what may be needed to fix it. So, I took to ol’ Amazon and found my same model for a very good price. Maybe I’ll run into trouble again at some point, or maybe it will last years as its predecessor did. If I sewed more or did more “serious” projects, I’d just buy a higher end machine, I think. But as it is, I felt like the easiest thing for now was going with what I’m used to.

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26 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

But as it is, I felt like the easiest thing for now was going with what I’m used to.

If it works for you then you can’t go wrong with the same again.  My backup machine is my mum’s old mechanical all-metal basic one and I’ll never let go of that. I think 99% of my (non-embroidery) sewing is straight stitch / zig zag / overlock and not the fancy stitches.

Edited by Caoimhe
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As an update to the thrilling saga of the new mixer with no beaters, I chatted online this afternoon with the retailer from which I bought the hand mixer to ask about how to go about returning it, because when an item is missing parts (the beaters), that's a different scenario than returning a purchase because it didn't work or you don't like it, etc.

The chat representative refunded my money and told me I could discard the mixer because the same model is out of stock. Well, naturally, I'd rather try to find beaters that fit than take a new appliance to the recycling center. Except...no "replacement" parts for this mixer seem to exist anywhere online, not even on auction sites or the manufacturer's website. I did send them an email to make sure. There's got to be some matching beaters laying around the warehouse somewhere.

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That's weird. I have the beaters from two, maybe three different hand mixers, and I use them interchangeably. I've always thought of beater blades as kind of like railroad gauges--they all fit. Do you mind saying what the brand is of the one you're trying to find beaters for? (To me this really is a thrilling saga. I feel a surge of power when I'm able to solve this sort of problem.)

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18 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Also, why is all my stuff breaking lately?! My car (as you all know), my sewing machine, my dresser, which was a whole headache because picky me likes a certain wood finish color and I have a few specific spatial issues (I ended up fixing that myself for about $20–yay!).

Look up planned obsolescence... 😐

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1 minute ago, RealHousewife said:

I love the expression "rot in hell," but I'm agnostic. Wish there were an agnostic/atheist equivalent to it that made sense for me to say. 

I usually say something along the lines of "X makes me hope there really is a hell because that's where I want him to end up".

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22 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

That's weird. I have the beaters from two, maybe three different hand mixers, and I use them interchangeably. I've always thought of beater blades as kind of like railroad gauges--they all fit. Do you mind saying what the brand is of the one you're trying to find beaters for? (To me this really is a thrilling saga. I feel a surge of power when I'm able to solve this sort of problem.)

It's a Cuisinart HM-3 (not the CHM-3). My old beaters from my Proctor-Silex mixer don't fit it. The beater sockets(?) in the new mixer are deeply recessed, and my existing beaters have flanges(?) that prevent them from fitting into the holes.

Cuisinart customer service did email me back and said they'd look in the warehouse, so here's hoping!

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Yeah, I just looked around a little, and I see that all the replacement parts are for the CHM-3. The one you have may be discontinued, along with the parts for it. Bummer. I hope they can find some for you in the bowels of the Cuisinart warehouse!

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On 11/21/2021 at 10:51 PM, bilgistic said:

As an update to the thrilling saga of the new mixer with no beaters, I chatted online this afternoon with the retailer from which I bought the hand mixer to ask about how to go about returning it, because when an item is missing parts (the beaters), that's a different scenario than returning a purchase because it didn't work or you don't like it, etc.

The chat representative refunded my money and told me I could discard the mixer because the same model is out of stock. Well, naturally, I'd rather try to find beaters that fit than take a new appliance to the recycling center. Except...no "replacement" parts for this mixer seem to exist anywhere online, not even on auction sites or the manufacturer's website. I did send them an email to make sure. There's got to be some matching beaters laying around the warehouse somewhere.

I just saw this quickly.  It’s a stretch, but I’ll tell you anyway.  My Sister lives in Florida and goes to this thrift shop regularly.  It’s run by Hospice.  They have every appliance you can imagine, blenders, mixers, toaster ovens, everything, and old, but working.  Maybe you have one in your area?   Just a thought.

 

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17 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I love the expression "rot in hell," but I'm agnostic. Wish there were an agnostic/atheist equivalent to it that made sense for me to say. 

I am an atheist, but I still use a lot of phrases like "Oh my God", or "Jesus". It's like a universal part of language, without the religious meaning, IMO.

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Most recent Not-Pet Peeve:
First, to recap: At the beginning of the month I moved into a condo that I am sorry I purchased. 
New Peeve: I do not know what the so-called "Portfolio Manager" for the condo association management association is supposed to be, but he is definitely worthless, and whatever they are paying him is too much. 

For starters: His phone number is blocked because he doesn't want people calling him. Seriously? You have one job. And there is such a thing as voice mail. And you can put your phone on silent.

He prefers to communicate by email, which amounts to a few technical words interspersed with a lot of "ifs" and "it depends" which basically translate to: 🤷‍♂️ 
--except I doubt he knows there is a shrug emoji, or else that would probably be all the condo owners would get.

Edited by shapeshifter
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3 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

I am an atheist, but I still use a lot of phrases like "Oh my God", or "Jesus". It's like a universal part of language, without the religious meaning, IMO.

True. I say oh my God and Jesus in casual conversation, but when I'm angry, I really want what I say to make sense. 

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1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

True. I say oh my God and Jesus in casual conversation, but when I'm angry, I really want what I say to make sense. 

If you want it to make sense, then I guess "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" won't be very helpful (phrases.org.uk/meanings/heavens-to-murgatroyd.html).

It seems you're stuck with having to point out why their words or actions are so infuriating--which ultimately makes you a more valuable citizen of the world, IMO. 

Or, if "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" really was invented by cartoonists, then you should feel free to invent your own phrase to express exasperation with people and situations.

Most of the well-worn phrases are euphemisms for religious expressions that some would find offensive
--like the "Heavens" in "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" or "For the love of all things holy."
But you don't have to follow that model. 
How about: Like a vulture to carrion!
Or: Like a Floridian wrestling an alligator on benzos! 
   --But that one depends upon whether the person you're yelling at interprets it to mean the human or the alligator is on benzodiazepines, so you'll want to try out your original phrases of contempt among friends first. 🙃😉  

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The Victorians were always good for a few insults.

Flapdoodle

A sexually incompetent man, who is either too young to have had sex or one who is too old to attempt it ("flapdoodle" also referred to nonsense or rubbish and ladyparts in the same time period)

Example: "I read in Holly Madison's memoir that Hugh Hefner is a weird old flapdoodle, if you know what I mean. It means his penis doesn't work."
 

Foozler

A bungler, or one who does things clumsily

Example: "Gosh, Karen you are such a foozler. Are you at least going to help me glue my '99 intramural basketball trophy back together?"

Edited by peacheslatour
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6 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Most of the well-worn phrases are euphemisms for religious expressions that some would find offensive

If you're from Quebec or even just visiting Quebec you will notice that a lot of the French "swears" are religious in nature.  My sister-in-law is French Canadian and can be pretty casual with English swear words that most of us won't use in front of the kiddies or Grandma but if someone says "Tabarnak" (tabernacle) or "esti" (host) she recoils!

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6 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

If you're from Quebec or even just visiting Quebec you will notice that a lot of the French "swears" are religious in nature.  My sister-in-law is French Canadian and can be pretty casual with English swear words that most of us won't use in front of the kiddies or Grandma but if someone says "Tabarnak" (tabernacle) or "esti" (host) she recoils!

I was always blown away by my Catholic friends casual use of Jesus, Joseph and Mary as swears.

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This reminds me of when I was seriously peeved once, and nobody expected me to swear or get annoyed. A friend of mine was going around using the word "tosser" after I said it once, not realizing what it really meant. 

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11 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I was always blown away by my Catholic friends casual use of Jesus, Joseph and Mary as swears.

My mother used to say "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" when she was really peeved with one of us kids.  It was sort of a cross between swearing and praying I think!

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26 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

If you're from Quebec or even just visiting Quebec you will notice that a lot of the French "swears" are religious in nature.  My sister-in-law is French Canadian and can be pretty casual with English swear words that most of us won't use in front of the kiddies or Grandma but if someone says "Tabarnak" (tabernacle) or "esti" (host) she recoils!

So true!

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30 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

If you want it to make sense, then I guess "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" won't be very helpful (phrases.org.uk/meanings/heavens-to-murgatroyd.html).

It seems you're to stuck with having to point out why their words or actions are so infuriating--which ultimately makes you a more valuable citizen of the world, IMO. 

Or, if "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" really was invented by cartoonists, then you should feel free to invent your own phrase to express exasperation with people and situations.

Most of the well-worn phrases are euphemisms for religious expressions that some would find offensive
--like the "Heavens" in "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" or "For the love of all things holy."
But you don't have to follow that model. 
How about: Like a vulture to carrion!
Or: Like a Floridian wrestling an alligator on benzos! 
   --But that one depends upon whether the person you're yelling at interprets it to mean the human or the alligator is on benzodiazepines, so you'll want to try out your original phrases of contempt among friends first. 🙃😉  

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22 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I love the expression "rot in hell," but I'm agnostic. Wish there were an agnostic/atheist equivalent to it that made sense for me to say. 

Oh, go ahead and use it! Everyone has a personal, lowercase-h hell! Plus, there’s something so satisfying in its abrupt and vicious simplicity!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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