Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[RealHousewife]

26 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

 

Legit mailers usually have an ‘unsubscribe’ and/or ‘email preferences’ option (that often actually works).  

It’s the true spammers that you shouldn’t unsubscribe or reply to. That just lets them know they got an actual person’s email, so the address becomes more valuable. 

Usually is the keyword! DSW is probably the only legit mailer where reducing the number of emails in their preferences didn't work for me. I'm not sure if they're any better these days. We'll see. 

Correct, good advice. I try to be carful what I click on, but I appreciate the reminder. Some spammers are pretty skilled. 

 

[chitowngirl]

I get peeved when I unsubscribe (from legitimate retailers), after a period of time, they start up again…usually around the holidays.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, SoMuchTV said:

Legit mailers usually have an ‘unsubscribe’ and/or ‘email preferences’ option (that often actually works).  

It’s the true spammers that you shouldn’t unsubscribe or reply to. That just lets them know they got an actual person’s email, so the address becomes more valuable. 

Exactly!  When they're legit I unsubscribe or change my preferences to weekly or only for certain purposes.  When they're not legit I just block them through my mail program.  Only you have to be careful with those emails you think are legit because sometimes spammers send them as if they are from those legit companies but they're not.  You can tell from looking at the email address.  If the email address doesn't match the name of the company you know it's from a spammer.

[Yeah No]

5 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

I get peeved when I unsubscribe (from legitimate retailers), after a period of time, they start up again…usually around the holidays.

Oh, I know, I hate that.  I also hate it when legitimate retailers who I have accounts with keep sending me emails telling me the items I looked at are on sale now or back in stock or whatever.  This is their newest way to be pushy and drive people nuts.  And I can't just unsubscribe or block them because I order stuff from them.  Macy's, Kohl's, Penney's, LOFT, Target, you name it are doing it and sending multiple emails like this every day.  It's maddening!

[emma675]

I've unsubscribed from Pottery Barn emails about a dozen times now, but they keep coming. Now I report them as spam, but I don't know if it makes a difference. The weird thing is, I've never ordered online from them or given my email in store. I looked at something on their site and like voodoo, I started getting emails from them.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

I've unsubscribed from Pottery Barn emails about a dozen times now, but they keep coming. Now I report them as spam, but I don't know if it makes a difference. The weird thing is, I've never ordered online from them or given my email in store. I looked at something on their site and like voodoo, I started getting emails from them.

I've had stuff like that happen.  The only thing I can imagine is that perhaps you did business with one of their "partner sites" or a site that shares your identity info. with Pottery Barn and that business put a cookie on your computer identifying you and associating you with your email address, which when you looked at something on the Pottery Barn site made the cookie identify you to Pottery Barn about and voila, you get their emails.  This is the kind of stuff they sometimes make you agree to in the fine print.  But I've found that even though I have specifically disagreed to businesses that have my contact info. "sharing my information with partner sites" they still do it anyway and that's how I get those emails.  It sucks.

Edited April 15 by Yeah No

[KittyMom4]

On 4/13/2024 at 12:58 PM, RealHousewife said:

People being pushy with stuff they sell. I know a woman who insists she's not a pushy person but will ask what makeup I use and then suggest what she sells. She'll ask what my mother likes and then bring up what she sells. It's pretty routine. 

This exact attitude is part of why I avoid purchasing stuff like Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, etc. I'm sure some good people go that route for a side hustle, and I see nothing wrong with making money through sales. But there are so many pushy people who only care about money in their own wallets, it makes me want to avoid all those companies at all costs, not to mention the fact some people go that route and lose thousands of dollars because they're not aggressive. My heart goes out to them. 

Seriously! There was a time when I would naively accept FB friend requests from distant acquaintances (friends of friends, coworkers I barely interacted with, spouses of relatives I hadn't seen in years) only to realize they friended me just to pitch their MLM product. I learned quickly. 

[kristen111]

5 hours ago, KittyMom4 said:

Seriously! There was a time when I would naively accept FB friend requests from distant acquaintances (friends of friends, coworkers I barely interacted with, spouses of relatives I hadn't seen in years) only to realize they friended me just to pitch their MLM product. I learned quickly. 

Relatives and Friends Pissed me off.  Sister was selling Amway.  I had to buy a bunch of cleaners that I never used.  Then World Book from a friend.  At the time they cost $250.  Then jewelry demonstrations from friends .  Who needed more jewelry,but you had to buy something.

[KittyMom4]

15 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Who needed more jewelry, but you had to buy something

A friend of mine has a friend who is selling some kind of jewelry, she messaged a bunch of people, myself included. inviting us to join the seller's FB page to view and buy. I removed myself from the group and unfollowed my friend. A coworker's daughter is selling an expensive cream that gets rid of the crepe-iness on your extremities, she is non-stop pushing it on FB, I unfollowed her as well. 

My peeve this week: I DVR'd the first 6 episodes of a new show that premiered the night of the Superbowl. I started watching them this past Sunday, unfortunately the game went into overtime and even though I extended the time to record, I am missing the last 15 mins of the episode. Ok, fine, I'll catch it in the reruns or stream it. I go on to the next 5 episodes, only 2 of them were complete, the other 3 were also overrun by the prior program, ARGH! I have now set up to record the show that follows in hopes of getting a complete episode going forward. 😒

[kristen111]

12 minutes ago, KittyMom4 said:

A friend of mine has a friend who is selling some kind of jewelry, she messaged a bunch of people, myself included. inviting us to join the seller's FB page to view and buy. I removed myself from the group and unfollowed my friend. A coworker's daughter is selling an expensive cream that gets rid of the crepe-iness on your extremities, she is non-stop pushing it on FB, I unfollowed her as well. 

My peeve this week: I DVR'd the first 6 episodes of a new show that premiered the night of the Superbowl. I started watching them this past Sunday, unfortunately the game went into overtime and even though I extended the time to record, I am missing the last 15 mins of the episode. Ok, fine, I'll catch it in the reruns or stream it. I go on to the next 5 episodes, only 2 of them were complete, the other 3 were also overrun by the prior program, ARGH! I have now set up to record the show that follows in hopes of getting a complete episode going forward. 😒

Sometimes you do the right thing then it backfires out of nowhere.  Bummer.  On Demand maybe?

[kristen111]

I just got the call that said “ Grandma, I’m in trouble .. I need money”.  I’m in jail”.  I said “Sorry to hear” then hung up.  WTH?

[GHScorpiosRule]

I'm going to defend this friends selling jewelry on FaceBook. A couple of them were doing this to make money on the side because they needed the money. One of my friend's house had blown up due to faulty wiring (not their fault and they were recompensed to rebuild at no cost to them), but they were struggling.

I didn't feel any pressure to buy. Both were selling cool jewelry and it wasn't obscenely expensive. I didn't always buy, but tuned in to the videos to provide support.

What peeves me are the repetitive posts that state that if I'm a true friend, I'll copy and paste a post that will let me know who my true friends are. It's nothing short, no it IS the electronic version of chain letters. I REFUSE to do that. And guess what? I'm still friends with them, without them demanding why I didn't do a copy and paste. But they know how I feel about this shit. And It's not being sent to me DIRECTLY, but on their feed. But it's still annoying.

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, KittyMom4 said:

My peeve this week: I DVR'd the first 6 episodes of a new show that premiered the night of the Superbowl. I started watching them this past Sunday, unfortunately the game went into overtime and even though I extended the time to record, I am missing the last 15 mins of the episode. Ok, fine, I'll catch it in the reruns or stream it. I go on to the next 5 episodes, only 2 of them were complete, the other 3 were also overrun by the prior program, ARGH! I have now set up to record the show that follows in hopes of getting a complete episode going forward. 😒

That's CBS for you.  They cannot for the life of them figure out how to plan a schedule that includes sporting events.  Someone in the Chit Chat thread posted a link to a story about how the Billy Joel concert got pre-empted for the news on Sunday night in some areas.  Because their coverage of the Masters went over.  

[annzeepark914]

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I just got the call that said “ Grandma, I’m in trouble .. I need money”.  I’m in jail”.  I said “Sorry to hear” then hung up.  WTH?

Our son-in-law's mother fell for this horrid scam about 3 years ago. She never called her son's family (they live 3 hours away), just went to Walmart & sent cash. She got another call the next day and once again (no call to the family!) went back to Walmart to send more cash. The employees got suspicious & called the police. She was very embarrassed (and she didn't have dementia or anything like that). So, I really like this cool response to a lowlife. Good goin', @kristen111 🎉

[kristen111]

This is not the first time either.  My two oldest Grandsons .. one is still in college and works all summer to save,and the other is accomplished and works on Wall Street.  Both have money.  I can’t believe people would fall for this, but unfortunately, they do.

[EtheltoTillie]

4 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

That's CBS for you.  They cannot for the life of them figure out how to plan a schedule that includes sporting events.  Someone in the Chit Chat thread posted a link to a story about how the Billy Joel concert got pre-empted for the news on Sunday night in some areas.  Because their coverage of the Masters went over.  

CBS on Sunday nights is always a problem.  They always run late in football season, and here they ran late for golf.  It's a first where they cut off the program for the 11 o'clock news instead of letting everything run over.  I usually set my DVR to run longer on those nights.  I guess that would not have worked.  I did record the Billy Joel concert and the local news afterward.  I guess I will have to catch the concert on the rerun. 

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, EtheltoTillie said:

CBS on Sunday nights is always a problem.  They always run late in football season, and here they ran late for golf.  It's a first where they cut off the program for the 11 o'clock news instead of letting everything run over.  I usually set my DVR to run longer on those nights.  I guess that would not have worked.  I did record the Billy Joel concert and the local news afterward.  I guess I will have to catch the concert on the rerun. 

I'd record the rerun and then delete the first recording.

[Blergh]

OK, hearing about the US Post Office raising stamp prices, I thought I'd  try to save a little dinero by buying a few extra books of stamps ahead of time so I went to  two local post offices. Only to find out that not just the one but BOTH of them now refused to accept cash but insisted I had to use plastic. OK, I went ahead and bought two sheets of stamps at the first place and then I thought I'd get another sheets of stamps at the 2nd place which I did- only to find out after I got home that I got charged for TWO sheets of stamps instead of just the one I received (and the office had already CLOSED by the time I discovered the overcharge). Yep, so I got three sheets for the price of FOUR!  I'm so mad at myself for not catching it at that post office! BOOO!!!!

[Yeah No]

Big pet peeve:  Not being able to make any kind of statement without someone splitting hairs to correct me or whoever said it.  If I ever did anything like that to anyone else people would act like I'm the most insensitive person or at the very least a petty know it all and roll their eyes at me, but other people seem to be able to do that and get applauded for it.  I'm done with the rules being different for different people.  

[ginger90]

Pet peeve: hypocrisy. 

[Yeah No]

Pet peeve:  Nasty, critical, snide and sarcastic people.  None of us is perfect, and that includes me, but people who just have to be nasty to other people and/or pick them apart for every little imperfection they have really get under my skin.  I think it has more to do with their issues than mine, but that's my opinion.  I generally forgive people for being human but obviously not everyone is like me.  I honestly do not keep a grudge list or whatever some people do.  I think everyone has value.  But when the nasties start to attack me when I've not intended them any harm that's when I get peeved big time.  And I think that's understandable.  I just hate it when other people misinterpret what I do in response to them as the problem.  The problem is that bullies tend to operate under the radar.  They come out smelling like roses while the people they bully can often look in the wrong to most people.  That is often their M.O..  Everything needs to be seen in context, but that context can be hard to see.   

It's no secret that I was bullied as a kid, so when people take me on this way it presses all my buttons.  The nasties seem to know that somehow and zero in on people like me.  Our lot in life, I guess.  What they don't tend to see coming is that I don't take that kind of stuff laying down and I don't think I should - Standing up for yourself is one of the things you learn to do after being bullied, and one of the things you SHOULD do.  So a big "right back atcha" to nasties and bullies of all kinds!  It's not gonna work with me so they should find someone else to pick on or better yet, just STOP BULLYING PEOPLE!

Edited April 17 by Yeah No

[Anela]

On 4/14/2024 at 9:57 PM, chitowngirl said:

I get peeved when I unsubscribe (from legitimate retailers), after a period of time, they start up again…usually around the holidays.

I unsubscribed from emails from an organization that I support, because they kept bugging me for money, and then I found out that I couldn’t respond to their email. I unsub from anyone asking me for money, because I have none.  I can’t support myself, I can’t afford to send them anything   
 

I also regularly receive texts and emails from people I ideologically oppose, and I don’t know if my email was sold, or if someone signed me up for them. I kept getting emails from one newsletter, kept unsubscribing, and being re-subbed.  The night before my birthday, two years ago, I finally called them, and threatened to report them to the appropriate agency, and I’ve never received another email from them.  

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Pet peeve:  Nasty, critical, snide and sarcastic people.  None of us is perfect, and that includes me, but people who just have to be nasty to other people and/or pick them apart for every little imperfection they have really get under my skin.  I think it has more to do with their issues than mine, but that's my opinion.  I generally forgive people for being human but obviously not everyone is like me.  I honestly do not keep a grudge list or whatever some people do.  I think everyone has value.  But when the nasties start to attack me when I've not intended them any harm that's when I get peeved big time.  And I think that's understandable.  I just hate it when other people misinterpret what I do in response to them as the problem.  The problem is that bullies tend to operate under the radar.  They come out smelling like roses while the people they bully can often look in the wrong to most people.  That is often their M.O..  Everything needs to be seen in context, but that context can be hard to see.   

It's no secret that I was bullied as a kid, so when people take me on this way it presses all my buttons.  The nasties seem to know that somehow and zero in on people like me.  Our lot in life, I guess.  What they don't tend to see coming is that I don't take that kind of stuff laying down and I don't think I should - Standing up for yourself is one of the things you learn to do after being bullied, and one of the things you SHOULD do.  So a big "right back atcha" to nasties and bullies of all kinds!  It's not gonna work with me so they should find someone else to pick on or better yet, just STOP BULLYING PEOPLE!

I was bullied a lot, too.  I dropped out of school because of it. I’ve been bullied online, too - I was harassed by one person for years, on and off for years, and I don’t know why. Also harassed and beaten up by my sister, for her husband, because I didn’t want to be under the same roof as him. 
 

I’ve been offline, mostly, trying to finish a library book.  It has to go back, and I finally finished it this evening, but I need to learn my lesson, and not get a pile of books out, when I don’t have the attention span needed to finish them all in a timely manner.  But I’m also pretty over social media.  I’m over a lot of things.  

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Anela said:

I also regularly receive texts and emails from people I ideologically oppose, and I don’t know if my email was sold, or if someone signed me up for them. I kept getting emails from one newsletter, kept unsubscribing, and being re-subbed.  The night before my birthday, two years ago, I finally called them, and threatened to report them to the appropriate agency, and I’ve never received another email from them.  

I keep getting newsletter emails like that too from online sites that push political views I don't agree with.  How they thought I was the person to send them to I'll never know.  I have been treating them like spam and not unsubscribing but blocking their domains.  In spite of that they keep coming back with a new name and email address.  I think they are on to me blocking them so they just find a new email address to send it from and call the newsletter by a different name.  It's crazy how many times did this, but like clockwork a couple of days later a new one popped into my inbox.  I don't think it's any coincidence.  I finally stopped blocking them and voila, no more new newsletter every week, just the last one they subscribed me to, which I am resigned to deleting on an individual basis.  I wonder if I would get anywhere calling them.  I hesitate to do that because I don't want them having my phone number.  I could block my number from showing but worry they wouldn't accept an unidentified caller.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Anela said:

I was bullied a lot, too.  I dropped out of school because of it. I’ve been bullied online, too - I was harassed by one person for years, on and off for years, and I don’t know why. Also harassed and beaten up by my sister, for her husband, because I didn’t want to be under the same roof as him. 

I am so sorry to hear this.....((hugs))  Being bullied by a family member has to be particularly toxic.  I was bullied by a couple of teachers in my childhood.  Why I don't know.  Two of them just didn't like my face or something.  I had a sinus condition as a kid and my second grade teacher regularly harassed me in the schoolyard out of earshot from anyone.  She would call me a "snotnose" among other things.  She'd pin me against the chain link fence and pull my clothing.  I was 7 years old!!!  I never did anything to deserve that!  And of course I was too ashamed to tell anyone. 

I did find an opportunity to share it on my elementary school's Facebook page once about 8 years ago, though.  Some classmates were reminiscing about this one teacher and gushing about how much they loved her, etc.  So I told my story and a couple of people from my class year that knew me in elementary school were SHOCKED!  

I admit bullying has been on my mind because a friend is in therapy and talking to me about his bullying experiences as a kid so it's making me relive my own and seeing how I have been triggered by people who remind me of those bullies my whole life.  In a way his therapy is also helping me.  But it is painful to relive that stuff.

Edited April 18 by Yeah No

[Ancaster]

 

On 4/13/2024 at 9:58 AM, RealHousewife said:

People being pushy with stuff they sell. I know a woman who insists she's not a pushy person but will ask what makeup I use and then suggest what she sells. She'll ask what my mother likes and then bring up what she sells. It's pretty routine. 

 

A friend once invited a bunch of us over for coffee (not unusual).  After half an hour or so she suddenly pulled out some overpriced makeup and started selling it.  I walked out.  I couldn't believe how deceptive she had been about it.

On 4/15/2024 at 6:28 PM, kristen111 said:

Relatives and Friends Pissed me off.  Sister was selling Amway.  I had to buy a bunch of cleaners that I never used.  Then World Book from a friend.  At the time they cost $250.  Then jewelry demonstrations from friends .  Who needed more jewelry,but you had to buy something.

Why did you feel like you had to buy something?

[kristen111]

2 hours ago, Ancaster said:

 

A friend once invited a bunch of us over for coffee (not unusual).  After half an hour or so she suddenly pulled out some overpriced makeup and started selling it.  I walked out.  I couldn't believe how deceptive she had been about it.

Why did you feel like you had to buy something?

I just don’t know.  Maybe I was just embarrassed to say no?  That was then when I was young and dumb.  Now, I wouldn’t give a crap to just say NO.

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, Ancaster said:

A friend once invited a bunch of us over for coffee (not unusual).  After half an hour or so she suddenly pulled out some overpriced makeup and started selling it.  I walked out.  I couldn't believe how deceptive she had been about it.

Back in the early '90s when I was in my early 30s when I first moved to CT, I moved into a brand new condo. development full of young married couples.  Back then it was the thing to host Tupperware and Mary Kay parties.  I had zero interest in doing either but there was so much peer pressure on me in my section to do this I finally gave in as I wanted my new neighbors to like me.  They had decided that each of us would take turns hosting these parties once every few months. 

At first there were a lot of women wanting to attend these parties so I didn't have to push anything, which was fine with me.  My first party was a Tupperware party.  I made snacks and stuff but the rest of it pretty much took care of itself.  I hosted one Mary Kay party and that was pretty much the same.  What totally put me off was the MK representative who kept on me to keep hosting these parties and wouldn't let up.  Again I felt pressured and finally gave in.  Then after that party didn't net enough sales in her opinion she started in on me about how I could be doing more to push the product.  I put my foot down and told her I was not interested in pushing anything on anyone that wasn't interested and I would not be hosting any more parties.  I remember her walking out in a huff.  The nerve!  Some of the other women gradually dropped out of hosting too after a while.  Being liked by my neighbors wasn't worth that.  And then I found out they weren't too happy with her either.  It was a different world back then!

[kristen111]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Back in the early '90s when I was in my early 30s when I first moved to CT, I moved into a brand new condo. development full of young married couples.  Back then it was the thing to host Tupperware and Mary Kay parties.  I had zero interest in doing either but there was so much peer pressure on me in my section to do this I finally gave in as I wanted my new neighbors to like me.  They had decided that each of us would take turns hosting these parties once every few months. 

At first there were a lot of women wanting to attend these parties so I didn't have to push anything, which was fine with me.  My first party was a Tupperware party.  I made snacks and stuff but the rest of it pretty much took care of itself.  I hosted one Mary Kay party and that was pretty much the same.  What totally put me off was the MK representative who kept on me to keep hosting these parties and wouldn't let up.  Again I felt pressured and finally gave in.  Then after that party didn't net enough sales in her opinion she started in on me about how I could be doing more to push the product.  I put my foot down and told her I was not interested in pushing anything on anyone that wasn't interested and I would not be hosting any more parties.  I remember her walking out in a huff.  The nerve!  Some of the other women gradually dropped out of hosting too after a while.  Being liked by my neighbors wasn't worth that.  And then I found out they weren't too happy with her either.  It was a different world back then!

Yes, it was a different world back then.  Does anyone here ever think they would have done certain things differently back then knowing what we know now?  My two married daughters don’t do a quarter of what I did in the day entertaining, cooking, etc. for relatives and friends.  Not that I’m sorry, but I really knocked myself out at a young age with three little kids.  Oh well .. water under the bridge.

 

 

[kristen111]

On 1/13/2015 at 12:20 PM, Betweenyouandme said:

Starting this to get things of my chest that get on my nerves. Please share anything...mine will be words. It usually grates on me when I hear:

kiddo

indeed

superior

I also can't stand humming or whistling. A short snippet when trying to convey a song is okay, but I get so annoyed when there's someone near me continuously doing this more than a few seconds. In fact, even less than that, and I start worrying about how long it will last and my escape. It's like snoring or static on phone call-holding music...I don't want to hear it!

Fer sure.  Fer sure this, Fer sure that.  Drives me nuts.

[PRgal]

52 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Yes, it was a different world back then.  Does anyone here ever think they would have done certain things differently back then knowing what we know now?  My two married daughters don’t do a quarter of what I did in the day entertaining, cooking, etc. for relatives and friends.  Not that I’m sorry, but I really knocked myself out at a young age with three little kids.  Oh well .. water under the bridge.

 

 

The craziness and stress was one of the reasons why my parents never entertained at home when I was younger.  They'd do it once in a while, usually in the summer, having people over for a barbecue.  And of course, my birthday parties (though it wasn't every year.  Some years, my parties were held at Pizza Hut, McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese).  Otherwise, we'd just go out.  Prix fixe menus at Chinese restaurants were fairly reasonable - even at the nice ones back in the 80s and 90s (not so much today!!), and we'd do Thanksgiving and Christmas there.   

[Guest]

21 hours ago, Ancaster said:

Why did you feel like you had to buy something?

For me I felt I needed to buy something because most of the women I knew who were hosting these kinds of parties needed the money.  It was a way to help a friend in a way that didn't seem like I was offering charity.  I drew the line though when a cousin of mine got involved with Amway.  Maybe I was naive about Avon and Tupperware and they're the same as Amway?  But for me there was a difference.  

[Bastet]

They're all just varying points on an inherently predatory spectrum, a legal loophole where someone adds product and turns an illegal pyramid scheme into a legal (here in the U.S. and other, but not all, countries who regulate such things) MLM.  (If most of a particpant's income comes from selling to true customers, that’s a business.  If most of it comes from selling to people they'll have to recruit to become sellers themselves, and then they recruit others, and the percentage of their commission is how the money is made, that’s a legal pyramid scheme.)

The income gulf between these MLM leaders and their distributors is huge, and it's not the same as looking at the same gap between CEO and worker, because the middle rungs of the corporate ladder are at least made up of salaried employees with benefits. 

What really gets me is the feminist façade used to prey on low-income women, with promises of autonomy and entrepreneurship; it's design, not coincidence, that these are pitched to women by women. 

Another disturbing aspect is how MLM leaders use many of the same indoctrination tactics as those used by cult leaders.

Bottom line, most don't bring in decent money shilling this stuff; the overwhelming majority of MLM participants make little to no money, and in fact a significant percentage lose money.  There are three general reasons for this:

1.  The buy-in model.  First, the company doesn’t spend a penny on training and marketing – participants pay to do it themselves.  Then, obviously the cheaper a seller can buy the product, the more profit they make when they sell it.  But to maintain access to those discounts, they have to keep buying; there are levels to attain, badges of honor with greater benefits at each, based on how much is bought.  (And there are poor buy-back policies for unsold inventory, so people wind up with garages full of this crap they can't unload.)

2. There’s an inherently limited supply of people to recruit – that’s why the real winners are the person who started the business and the first people recruited.

3. You create your own competitors by recruiting other sellers from your social network, which is how these are structured; it benefits the owner, but not the participants.

I think the best thing to do when a friend has been sucked into one of these is to gently present her with the facts, but if she's intent on learning the hard way go to one party, make clear you won't be recruited, and only buy something if you actually want it and think it's a good deal (I have a couple of Pampered Chef products I still use to this day).

Edited April 19 by Bastet

[kristen111]

7 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

For me I felt I needed to buy something because most of the women I knew who were hosting these kinds of parties needed the money.  It was a way to help a friend in a way that didn't seem like I was offering charity.  I drew the line though when a cousin of mine got involved with Amway.  Maybe I was naive about Avon and Tupperware and they're the same as Amway?  But for me there was a difference.  

Screw all those fancy cleaners that don’t work.  For years, I still my old faithfuls .. s*** n Span, 409, Ajax and Clorox.  That’s it.  The others were bullshit.  Oh, I love Fabuloso after I’ve cleaned the bowl.  The purple one makes the bathroom smell nice.

[Blergh]

11 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Fer sure.  Fer sure this, Fer sure that.  Drives me nuts.

Thankfully, that term seems as current as Moon Unit Zappa (at least in my neck of the woods) so it's been awhile since I've been saturated with it.

 However, as long as we're talking annoying slang, I'm tired of  ' best/worst [whatever] EVER' and 'G.O.A.T'.

In the former case, the speaker seems to have no concept of 'ever' and using it as a superlative instead of just saying 'best/worst I've experienced so far' somewhat dilutes the whole meaning of 'ever' as an infinite measure of time.

Speaking of time, I know that 'G.O.A.T' means 'greatest of all time' but, again, it's rather pointless to make that assertion unless one has complete knowledge all all prior AND future feats in said venue. Besides, that only the first of the four word term 'greatest' has more than one syllable so  saying 'G.O.A.T' barely shortens the slang from the original  term. ..and just pronouncing the acronym as  'goat' would be a rather cheesy deal instead of a successful ramming of a superlative.

Edited April 19 by Blergh

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

For me I felt I needed to buy something because most of the women I knew who were hosting these kinds of parties needed the money.  It was a way to help a friend in a way that didn't seem like I was offering charity.  I drew the line though when a cousin of mine got involved with Amway.  Maybe I was naive about Avon and Tupperware and they're the same as Amway?  But for me there was a difference.  

I think back in the day there was a difference.  Avon and Tupperware I think existed before there was such a thing as the MLM structure but over time as MLMs became a thing they started to resemble them more.

I found this article which attempts to answer that question:

https://www.pyramidschemealert.org/extinction-alert-the-plight-of-avon-and-tupperware/#:~:text=Despite MLM's false portrayal of,DSA connections to pyramid schemes.

From reading that it seems like both Avon and Tupperware don't want to be identified as MLMs and lumped in with Amway.  Confusing at best.  Should they be?  I don't know enough to have an opinion on that.

Mary Kay is technically an MLM but again they try to spin their image in such a way to distance themselves from companies like Amway.

I'm not really convinced.

30 years ago I would never have lumped any of those other companies in with Amway but I guess we didn't know much about these things in those days.  I always had a dim view of Amway since being approached by a creepy, pushy salesperson trying to get me to buy all sorts of cleaning products I didn't care to buy.  It happened in my dorm in college if you'd believe that.  A male student was trying to get me to buy laundry detergent among other things.  I didn't even have my own apartment much less would I need those things.  He creeped me out so much I avoided Amway salespeople like the plague after that.

[Ohiopirate02]

I can speak from experience and say Tupperware was not a MLM in the 80s and 90s.  My mom sold it during that time, and she did make money.  Enough money in fact to my family in our home while my dad was out of work for two years.  The power was never cut, we had food on the table, and the bank never foreclosed.  I know my grandmother did occasionally give my mom money during that time and we did received some help from our church, but that was to assist and not something that happened consistently.  The buy-in was low and she was never forced to buy product with the money she made.  There also was not any pyramid structure in place.  There were managers who had their own group of salespeople, but they were not taking a big percentage of their sales.  It was more of a mentoring position

[RealHousewife]

11 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

For me I felt I needed to buy something because most of the women I knew who were hosting these kinds of parties needed the money.  It was a way to help a friend in a way that didn't seem like I was offering charity.  I drew the line though when a cousin of mine got involved with Amway.  Maybe I was naive about Avon and Tupperware and they're the same as Amway?  But for me there was a difference.  

Not an expert here, but my impression is that there is indeed a difference.

I had a friend from work who sold Avon years ago. She would let people know once, and she would never bring it up again. I have no issue with that. My sister was loosely friends with a girl who promoted herself as a makeup artist and said she'd love to give my sister a free makeover for her birthday. My sister brought me along, and of course, this chick didn't do anything but talk about Mary Kay and try to sell products. I don't think the products were outrageously expensive or anything, but still an icky experience. 

Now with Anyway, I've read so many horror stories where people lose thousands of dollars. Some of the people at the top may make great money, but I don't know how they can sleep at night when the people they recruit lose money. I can see a good person giving the company a chance not knowing what they're getting themselves into, but once you're deep into it, how do you not know? The girl I know who swears up and down she's not a pushy salesperson is quick to suggest others should "start their own business" with her. She randomly brings up Amway products and insists they're such good quality. I'm sorry, but if I want to save, I'm buying CoverGirl. If I want to splurge, perhaps I'll treat myself to some Charlotte Tilbury. Why the heck would I be interested in this Artistry brand I never heard about until now? Don't know a single other friend, family member, coworker, makeup artist, or beauty influencer who uses it. And not interested in the Nutrilite either. 

If someone wants to sell some reasonably priced products for a side hustle to make money, more power to you. It's not for me, but I can see it as an ethical way to make money so long as you don't mislead people into situations where they feel pressure to purchase stuff they don't want. 

Amway just seems to be the worst. There are lot of YouTube videos and podcasts about it. They seem to prey on people who are vulnerable and desperate to make money. 

Even if the company did have some good products, I do not want to support the sleaze. I tend to avoid all similar businesses at all costs, but I'm not entirely opposed to purchasing a Mary Kay eye pencil or makeup remover. I just wouldn't buy anything from someone who is misleading about it. You casually let me know you sell something? Okay, no problem. I'll think about it. You don't even say what the heck it is you do but pretend to be a makeup artist or give free facials or something just to get me there to buy stuff, nope. 

[kristen111]

14 hours ago, PRgal said:

The craziness and stress was one of the reasons why my parents never entertained at home when I was younger.  They'd do it once in a while, usually in the summer, having people over for a barbecue.  And of course, my birthday parties (though it wasn't every year.  Some years, my parties were held at Pizza Hut, McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese).  Otherwise, we'd just go out.  Prix fixe menus at Chinese restaurants were fairly reasonable - even at the nice ones back in the 80s and 90s (not so much today!!), and we'd do Thanksgiving and Christmas there.   

I’ll NEVER forget this.  We envited my husbands Aunts an uncles for a bbq.  It poured rain the whole day.  Husband bbq in the garage and we ate in the dining room.  I made coleslaw, potato salad and other side dishes.  One Aunt was ripping the skin off the chicken.  She didn’t eat any salads as they had mayo in them.  She ate nothing.  Then, she asked me why I didn’t work to help my husband out.  I was over 30 yrs old with 3 little kids.  What a Bitch.  I went out of my way to entertain them and that’s what I got?  Some people don’t know when to zip it.  Thy are mean spirited.  WTF?    My husbands two sisters never had anyone over to eat.  They were smart.  Me, the schmuck tried to make it nice, but got burned.

Edited April 19 by kristen111

[PRgal]

19 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I’ll NEVER forget this.  We envited my husbands Aunts an uncles for a bbq.  It poured rain the whole day.  Husband bbq in the garage and we ate in the dining room.  I made coleslaw, potato salad and other side dishes.  One Aunt was ripping the skin off the chicken.  She didn’t eat any salads as they had mayo in them.  She ate nothing.  Then, she asked me why I didn’t work to help my husband out.  I was over 30 yrs old with 3 little kids.  What a Bitch.  I went out of my way to entertain them and that’s what I got?  Some people don’t know when to zip it.  Thy are mean spirited.  WTF?    My husbands two sisters never had anyone over to eat.  They were smart.  Me, the schmuck tried to make it nice, but got burned.

There are Auntie Karens in all cultures.  With apologies to people who have Aunt Karens they absolutely love.

[kristen111]

15 minutes ago, PRgal said:

There are Auntie Karens in all cultures.  With apologies to people who have Aunt Karens they absolutely love.

Well, I was married at 22.  What did I know?  I did what my family did.  We all pitched in and helped one another.  One thing I love tho is my husband always had my back.  If his mother was out of line, he told her so.  He never let me down.

[JustHereForFood]

I used to buy Avon from a friend whose mother was selling it. No problems or pushing of any kind. Now my mom is registered for both Oriflame and Avon, but we only buy thing for ourselves, it's more comfortable this way. She gets some promotional emails but isn't bothered by the company in any other way. I guess they understand they will get no big business from us.

[Guest]

My mother had an Avon lady for years.  She wasn't pushy at all.  I think these women thrived in a time when so many "Moms" were at home.  I know my Mom wasn't the only one who appreciated having a grown up drop by to visit for an hour or two every now and then!

On another subject on my Facebook feed I keep getting this, I guess, anecdotes from various sources.  Some of them are interesting but most of them aren't all that accurate.  I guess my peeve is I am spending more time checking the truthfulness of these stories than they deserve!  And when I find it isn't true, well, what do I do with this information?  I'm not going to waste my time commenting on these random site.  I guess I have the satisfaction of knowing "the real story" but still.  Time waster 101!

[Yeah No]

From my experience with Mary Kay even 30 years ago it was more like a MLM scheme because of the pushy saleswoman I had to deal with and because they keep recruiting salespeople and make you buy the product and you have to sell it or you're stuck with it.  Mary Kay says it offers to buy back unsold products with a 10% charge but most of the time they discourage sellers from doing that.  I know back in the day Avon and Tupperware weren't like MLMs but Avon today supposedly is, according to that article I posted. 

[annzeepark914]

13 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

On another subject on my Facebook feed I keep getting this, I guess, anecdotes from various sources.  Some of them are interesting but most of them aren't all that accurate.  I guess my peeve is I am spending more time checking the truthfulness of these stories than they deserve!  And when I find it isn't true, well, what do I do with this information?  I'm not going to waste my time commenting on these random site.  I guess I have the satisfaction of knowing "the real story" but still.  Time waster 101!

Click on the 3 dots on the upper right of the unwanted anecdotes. It should show a screen with options: see more like this, see less like this, block so & so, etc. That's what I do with unwanted posts from whatever. I don't know if this is similar to what you're dealing with but it might show you how to avoid getting these things.

[TattleTeeny]

I have a friend who was way into the whole essential oil thing, oh my goodness. And she came over one day to talk to me about them. I bought from her a couple that I have always found helpful for various things, but I had to flat-out tell her that I despise selling shit and that I wasn't interested in using my free time for it at all. Honestly, we'd known each other for years and I am certain she was 95% ready for that reaction, haha!

I am full of peeves this weekend. First, I had to get a new phone yesterday and oh my effing god, of course none of the previous and necessary accessories work anymore. About halfway through that infernal process, I was asking myself if I could just live with my old busted-ass phone. But heyyyyyy, there's a restocking fee (!!!) once they take your new one off the shelf and I would eventually need to do this whole thing anyway. Blech.

Second, that specific aspect of hypocrisy wherein someone says how much they hate a behavior or an attitude while doing that behavior/attitude exactly right that second. Also, sort of related, the notion of "shoving it down my throat" when those being accused of doing the shoving are simply existing, perhaps [gasp!] in public (especially when the "shovees" consider themselves to be of a tougher-cookie variety than the so-called shovers).

Edited April 20 by TattleTeeny

[JustHereForFood]

17 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

On another subject on my Facebook feed I keep getting this, I guess, anecdotes from various sources.  Some of them are interesting but most of them aren't all that accurate.  I guess my peeve is I am spending more time checking the truthfulness of these stories than they deserve!  And when I find it isn't true, well, what do I do with this information?  I'm not going to waste my time commenting on these random site.  I guess I have the satisfaction of knowing "the real story" but still.  Time waster 101!

Misinformation, especially political, thrives on social media.

 

25 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Also, sort of related, the notion of "shoving it down my throat" when those being accused of doing the shoving are simply existing, perhaps [gasp!] in public (especially when the "shovees" consider themselves to be of a tougher variety than the shovers).

I hate that too, but I get a bit of amusement out of homophobes, especially men, overusing the phrase "shoving it down our throats". Hm, maybe they are a bit too fixated on the idea of having things shoved down their throat for some reason?

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, yesssss! I also think about the irony of the homophobes labeling anyone as deviants and perverts...as they literally fixate on the sex lives of others!

Edited April 20 by TattleTeeny

[Anela]

Vanifestos.  It turns out there’s a whole Reddit dedicated to them. There is a guy who has one, in one of the local cities, but he gets around   

Passive-aggressiveness.  Vague-booking.  Sub-tweeting.  It hasn’t been happening to me, but I hate seeing, anyway.  

Edited April 20 by Anela

[TattleTeeny]

YIKES! I actually forgot about my biggest peeve today: my Fitbit is killing my skin, man. I have tried everything. The inside of my wrist is upset by the band -- fabric, plastic, metal, whatever. All of them itch and irritate my skin. The outside of my wrist is constantly raw and/or bleeding from the actual Fitbit. I like it and want to use it but I don't know what to do anymore.

[Mindthinkr]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

YIKES! I actually forgot about my biggest peeve today: my Fitbit is killing my skin, man. I have tried everything. The inside of my wrist is upset by the band -- fabric, plastic, metal, whatever. All of them itch and irritate my skin. The outside of my wrist is constantly raw and/or bleeding from the actual Fitbit. I like it and want to use it but I don't know what to do anymore.

I get contact dermatitis from lots of things. I paint the underside with clear nail polish. Sometimes two coats. Skin rash and itching gone. 

Edited April 20 by Mindthinkr
It needed a word.