Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Brooklynista]

We have 10 stalls in the ladies room at work. 10.  This isn't a rush hour so the bathroom was empty.  I pick a stall so  I can go and in walks another customer.  No biggie. 

 

Why do you have to use the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME????  The entire place is empty!  Pick any other stall!  And I know we ladies like to sumo squat over public toilets but why are your feet in my stall???  Are you cruising me?

 

Give me some room.  There's plenty of room.  I always try to leave at least one empty stall in between if we're not in a rush hour like 5pm.  No reason for this woman to be my neighbor.

Edited February 18, 2016 by Brooklynista

[zxy556575]

Why do you have to use the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME????  The entire place is empty!  Pick any other stall!  And I know we ladies like to sumo squat over public toilets but why are your feet in my stall???  Are you cruising me?

 

I wonder if she was cruising you? Is that even a thing for women? Otherwise, no excuse for that!

 

I'm never sure if this is inconsiderate or not (I'll note that I have never in my life encountered a person in a wheelchair in a public restroom), but I always use the handicapped stall if given a choice. It's always in in corner or against a wall so there are fewer neighbors, it's of course a lot bigger, the toilet is taller, and there's often a sink so I don't have to jostle with others to reach the soap and towel dispensers.

[bmasters9]

Why do you have to use the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME????  The entire place is empty!  Pick any other stall!  And I know we ladies like to sumo squat over public toilets but why are your feet in my stall???  Are you cruising me?

I think they do this for the same reasons as those who sit right next to you in an empty movie theater or park right beside you in an empty parking lot (and the parking lot one would be even worse if you were flanked on both sides).

[backformore]

I remember when there weren't handicapped stalls.  When I had my son in a stroller, I'd have to go down to the very last stall, leave the door OPEN, with the stroller half in and half out, and use the toilet with the baby looking at me.  Handicapped stalls were a great addition for moms with strollers/toddlers, or more than one kid.  

 

And all this talk of bathrooms.  today. I went down the hall to use the restroom - two stalls, three people waiting.  one woman was IN the stall ON HER CELL PHONE!  Really?  I have to wait to pee because you're having a conversation on the toilet??   

I went up a flight of stairs and use the restroom there.  

(and secretly prayed for her to drop her phone in the toilet) 

[AltLivia]

 

I'm never sure if this is inconsiderate or not (I'll note that I have never in my life encountered a person in a wheelchair in a public restroom), but I always use the handicapped stall if given a choice. It's always in in corner or against a wall so there are fewer neighbors, it's of course a lot bigger, the toilet is taller, and there's often a sink so I don't have to jostle with others to reach the soap and towel dispensers.

Walker user here. You never know when someone's going to need that stall. If I don't take my walker into the stall, I can't walk back out. I can't really rationalize someone abled using it for convenience sake. I try to avoid public restrooms because this happens so frequently.

 

 

Handicapped stalls were a great addition for moms with strollers/toddlers, or more than one kid.

I don't really mind moms using the stalls - I don't know if they still put the changing table in handicapped stalls or not. It's about necessity and the safety/supervision of the kid(s).

Edited February 19, 2016 by AltLivia

[janestclair]

Walker user here. You never know when someone's going to need that stall. If I don't take my walker into the stall, I can't walk back out. I can't really rationalize someone abled using it for convenience sake. I try to avoid public restrooms because this happens so frequently.

I don't really mind moms using the stalls - I don't know if they still put the changing table in handicapped stalls or not. It's about necessity and the safety/supervision of the kid(s).

On the other hand, there are plenty of people with invisible disabilities using that stall too, like myself. So you never know why someone is using the stall. It might look like I'm going in there for convenience but the regular toilet is too low.

[Qoass]

I guess it comes from watching too much American Idol lately but I am officially over the word "quirky".  It originally seemed to be a compliment as in, "Wow, you have a really interesting point of view quite different from mine that I appreciate!".  Now it feels patronizing like, "Wow, you're a weirdo but I'll pat you on the head and feel good about myself for pretending to appreciate you."

 

Just me?

[ethalfrida]

I have developed a peeve that is way beyond the incorrect usage of the word "I"...

 

It seems we have a lot of new users who are posting things in the definite affirmative or negative without investigating what they are supporting. I think the first time I noticed it was when someone posted that a reality "star" couldn't be gay because he had children. Sigh... But the really annoying ones are those who come to compassionless conclusions about someone based solely on their race and on some stereotype they subscribe to. If a character is Black, he's a lazy player, if a character is White then they are bitches or psychos... All without supporting evidence because I swear sometimes I wonder if we watched the same show?!

 

Wanting to send an old lady to jail for animal abuse would have no positive outcome. 

 

So, (rant over), I figure these posters are young and lack the experience where compassion, etc., usually comes from.

[bilgistic]

My niece knew what compassion was by six years old. Some people are just assholes.

[GHScorpiosRule]

And I am now officially sick of the word "authentic."

[Qoass]

Particularly if something is authentic because it was "hand crafted".

[GHScorpiosRule]

Particularly if something is authentic because it was "hand crafted".

 

That and because all I hear (even when I'm doing my best not to hear and avoid it) that "people" love Trump because he's soooo "authentic" or love Bernie Sanders because he's "authentic."

 

I don't care what the person's politics are, I am just now so sick and tired of that word being bandied about. Almost as much as icon, unique..

[DeLurker]

But I love how using the word artisan has become synonymous with pretentious and overpriced.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

I learned about calling upon St. Anthony on a morning drive-time radio show.

I spent much of my childhood praying to St Anthony because I was always losing things - homework, rosaries, missals, my school hat/lace mantilla  (necessary in those days to enter the church).......

[Sandman87]

I remember way back (seems like 100 years ago) when I started college.  I was on a scholarship, so my dad didn't have to pay anything.   He said he would buy my books - gave me $50.  my first day, I came home, dad asked to see my books. I brought the stack of  books in, held up the biology book, and said  "here's the one you bought".  he saw the label, $49.95, asked me why I didn't buy a used one.  I said, that IS a used book.  I swear, he thought I could get a semester's worth of books for $50. I had to use  my summer job savings for the rest of the books.

When I was in college a few of the departments (especially the school of nursing) and some of the individual professors wrote their own textbooks for courses, and had batches of them printed & bound at the local Kinko's at a discount. Can't beat a $10-$20 textbook. Unfortunately, none of my classes ever did that...

[NutMeg]

We have 10 stalls in the ladies room at work. 10.  This isn't a rush hour so the bathroom was empty.  I pick a stall so  I can go and in walks another customer.  No biggie. 

 

Why do you have to use the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME????  The entire place is empty!  Pick any other stall!  And I know we ladies like to sumo squat over public toilets but why are your feet in my stall???  Are you cruising me?

 

Give me some room.  There's plenty of room.  I always try to leave at least one empty stall in between if we're not in a rush hour like 5pm.  No reason for this woman to be my neighbor.

I once read that people with a form of autism are more likely to go where someone already is. Hence why even when the bus is empty that person comes and sits right next to you. Don't know if it works as a general rule, but my dear autistic nephew behaves just so.

[zxy556575]

Aha! I was eating on the couch this afternoon and got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, my fork was gone. Looked all around, removed the couch cushions, checked under the couch, checked the bathroom and even emptied the waste can there. No pets or humanoids in the house. I re-checked everything three times over the next couple of hours before looking up the prayer to St. Anthony (atheist, sure, but whatever). Less than a minute later, I spied the fork on top of the credenza. Apparently I had it in my hand when I stood up to go to the bathroom and laid it down along the way.

Edited February 21, 2016 by lordonia

[bilgistic]

Ha ha! I didn't know there was an official prayer, but the woman on the radio (it's a comedy morning show, not a religious one) said, "Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around. Something is lost and cannot be found."

I can't remember multiplication tables from third grade, but this sticks with me, along with everything on TV.

[hoosier80]

My mom would always tell me to pray to St. Anthony when I would lose something as a kid.  So, I've kept it up, usually, just 'hi, St. Anthony, it's me again.  Help, because I'm an idiot and lost/misplaced something again'.  Honestly, it's rarely failed me.  Either it's helped me calm down or St. Anthony helps me somehow.  

[backformore]

My pet peeve today -  

People who let their kid run wild in a restaurant.  Not Mcdonald's or Chuck e Cheese, but a nice restaurant where adults go.   It happened to us tonight, at a Bahama Breeze restaurant.   it's family friendly, but it's mostly an adult place.  SO one couple  just let their kid run wild - not a tantrum, he was  just being a kid, but he was acting like he was at a park, running in circles through the dining room - run down the ramp, then over and up the stairs.  WHILE HIS PARENTS SAT AND ATE DINNER.   At one point he had taken two large pepper grinders from a station and was shaking them like they were maracas as he ran around.    Servers carrying trays of drinks and food had to keep watching to make sure they didn't collide with him. I know kids act wild, have a lot of energy, I get it.   But these parents weren't even TRYING - didn't stop him, didn't seem concerned that he could have hot food, or a pitcher of margaritas dumped on his head, OR that he was disturbing other diners.  I could see the exasperation of the servers, who didn't want to make an issue out of it, while the parents just laughed at his antics.  He wasn't loud, just FAST.  They were with a large group, and I think they were acting like they had rented out the entire dining room. 

[bilgistic]

That is infuriating. If the kid caused a server to drop hot food on him, I'm sure the parents would sue the restaurant. If they can afford to eat out, they can afford a sitter.

[Quof]

Backformore, you are clearly a soulless, child-hater. What about the children????  If the staff refused to deal with it, I would have personally taken the little, um, darling by the hand and delivered the Special Snowflake back to his parents. Cuz I'm a bitch like that.

 

I don't go to McDonalds and expect to play in the ball pit.  Don't bring your toddler to a restaurant with white tablecloths and/or $30 entrees.

[zxy556575]

That's beyond irritating, backformore.

 

Sometimes it's nice to live in a huge retirement community, and no children is one of those times. Sure, the residents' grandkids visit, but even if they're taken to one of the more upscale restaurants or country clubs, nobody's about to let them run around and rile up a bunch of seniors who no longer have any filters.

[DeLurker]

There's got to be lawsuits where somebody sued a restaurant when their snowflake got hurt running amok.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

Is that a Catholic thing or something?

Yes. St. Anthony is the patron saint of finding lost and stolen things.

[bilgistic]

My old condo was in what was like a retirement community. It was GREAT, but then I lost it. At 26 to 39, I was the youngest person living there. Now I live in an apartment complex where there's a boatload of kids, but my building is solely one-bedroom units, so there are only grownups there. Cue the children running through the building and ringing my doorbell and me yelling at them. I'm the youngest old lady in history.

[Bastet]

I could see the exasperation of the servers, who didn't want to make an issue out of it, while the parents just laughed at his antics.

 

I fault management as much as the parents in this situation.  They have an obligation - to their servers whose jobs are hard enough without having to dodge a feral child, to their patrons who are not irresponsible, rude assholes and are now having their meal interrupted, and to their employer who is not going to enjoy being sued when Little Darling causes an accident and gets hurt - to go ask the parents to keep their kid at the table or leave.

[Quof]

go ***tell*** the parents to keep their kid at the table or leave

Fixed that for you.

[BookWoman56]

But these parents weren't even TRYING - didn't stop him, didn't seem concerned that he could have hot food, or a pitcher of margaritas dumped on his head, OR that he was disturbing other diners.  I could see the exasperation of the servers, who didn't want to make an issue out of it, while the parents just laughed at his antics.  

While the servers may have been hesitant to confront the parents, that's the point at which the manager or assistant manager, whichever one happens to be in charge at that time, needs to earn his or her pay. Roughly a gazillion years ago, my first husband managed a pizza place to put himself through college. It was part of a large national chain and was family-friendly, so it was very common to have kids. On more than one occasion, he had to go tell parents that they had to keep their child with them at their table, because if the kid managed to get into the kitchen area (quite easy to do because of the layout, which had an opening for servers to go in and out of where the pizza ovens were), it would be very easy for the kid to have a pizza coming out of a very hot oven dropped on his or her head, or to cause a similar accident to one of the cooks or wait staff. He was polite but firm about it, and made it clear that if the parents would not keep the kid under control, they would have to leave.

 

I cannot fathom why parents would bring kids to an upscale restaurant and then let them run wild. When my daughter was young, I would occasionally take her to such a place, but she was well-behaved and quiet, and if for some bizarre reason she had started running around like crazy, I would have made her sit down or left the restaurant. If you want to go to that kind of establishment and you have a kid or kids, either make sure they know how to behave in public or find a babysitter.

 

Of course, I also feel the same way about people who have loud arguments or conversations in public places such as restaurants. If I'm four or five tables away from you and can still hear every word you are saying, you are way the hell too loud.

[Quof]

The difference is, if an adult is being loud and/or disruptive, you can tell them to knock it off, or enlist the staff to tell them to knock it off.   You don't dare tell a parent that their child is disruptive, and staff don't dare tell them either.

[BookWoman56]

The difference is, if an adult is being loud and/or disruptive, you can tell them to knock it off, or enlist the staff to tell them to knock it off.   You don't dare tell a parent that their child is disruptive, and staff don't dare tell them either.

Why not? If I were in a restaurant or other setting where some parent was letting kids be disruptive, I would not hesitate to give the parent a reality check. Politely, of course. Maybe things have changed in the restaurant industry, but at the time my ex-husband was encountering the issue, TPTB flatly said that in that sort of situation, you have to choose between possibly hacking off one family or hacking off an entire dining room full of customers, and the choice was a no-brainer.

I wish more restaurants would follow the model of Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, a local theater chain that has a zero-tolerance policy for people using cell phones or talking loudly while the movie is playing. There's bound to be a market for customers who want to enjoy a nice meal without listening to people talking too loudly or enduring kids running around the room.

Edited February 22, 2016 by BookWoman56

[Quof]

There's bound to be a market for customers who want to enjoy a nice meal without listening to people talking too loudly or enduring kids running around the room.

You would think so, but anytime I have seen a restaurant advertise a policy such as "no children under 6", they have faced such a huge backlash that they have backed down.   Discriminating against children, don't you know. The alternative would be a policy of "Well-behaved children only", but parents of poorly behaved children rarely recognize/acknowledge that their behaviour is a problem.

[auntlada]

The difference is, if an adult is being loud and/or disruptive, you can tell them to knock it off, or enlist the staff to tell them to knock it off.   You don't dare tell a parent that their child is disruptive, and staff don't dare tell them either.

Depends on how much the adult has had to drink. I'd much rather take a kid back to his parents and say he needs to stay there than confront a possibly belligerent adult. With the kid, I could pretend to be sweet and say something about how I am so afraid he is going to get hurt by someone not paying attention. It is not entirely true, but it is something the parents can accept. It's like when I used to tell people I couldn't put extra stuff in their newspaper engagement announcements or whatever because I would have to let everyone do whatever they wanted. "I know you would never take advantage, but other people would so I just have to say no to everyone."

No one who knew me could believe I was the tactful one in the newsroom.

[BW Manilowe]

My pet peeve today -

People who let their kid run wild in a restaurant. Not Mcdonald's or Chuck e Cheese, but a nice restaurant where adults go. It happened to us tonight, at a Bahama Breeze restaurant. it's family friendly, but it's mostly an adult place. SO one couple just let their kid run wild - not a tantrum, he was just being a kid, but he was acting like he was at a park, running in circles through the dining room - run down the ramp, then over and up the stairs. WHILE HIS PARENTS SAT AND ATE DINNER. At one point he had taken two large pepper grinders from a station and was shaking them like they were maracas as he ran around. Servers carrying trays of drinks and food had to keep watching to make sure they didn't collide with him. I know kids act wild, have a lot of energy, I get it. But these parents weren't even TRYING - didn't stop him, didn't seem concerned that he could have hot food, or a pitcher of margaritas dumped on his head, OR that he was disturbing other diners. I could see the exasperation of the servers, who didn't want to make an issue out of it, while the parents just laughed at his antics. He wasn't loud, just FAST. They were with a large group, and I think they were acting like they had rented out the entire dining room.

If the servers didn't wanna make an issue of it--& I suppose I could see why, perhaps--then 1 of them should've brought it to the attention of the manager or whomever else was in charge on that shift & let *them* deal with it because, as was pointed out, the kid, a server, or even an "innocent bystander" (another patron) could've been seriously injured by tripping over the kid/the kid tripping over them, &/or by the kid, the server, or another patron in "the wrong place at the wrong time", having hot food &/or really hot coffee or tea/other hot drinks spilled on them.

[Demented Daisy]

While the servers may have been hesitant to confront the parents, that's the point at which the manager or assistant manager, whichever one happens to be in charge at that time, needs to earn his or her pay.

 

Agreed.  The last time I worked food service, about 15 years ago, I had an awesome manager who invited people to leave and never come back in that sort of situation.  He would comp their checks and tell them to leave if they or their children were being disruptive.  Or if they were abusing the staff.  

 

Of course, those were pre-"run to the internet to complain" years.

[Qoass]

 

But I love how using the word artisan has become synonymous with pretentious and overpriced.

 

 

And "rustic" now means "It's not that I'm incompetent; it's supposed to look like that!".

 

As I've mentioned, I don't do confrontation well so instead I try to compliment parents on their well-behaved children when the opportunity presents itself it public.  I think that comes from the time I was at the movies and there was a family in front of me that were all quiet and well behaved.  Towards the end of the film, another family came in with a bunch of disruptive, noisy kids.  The children in the well-behaved group immediately looked at their parents obviously questioning why the new group was allowed to behave in a fashion they would be punished for.  I felt so bad for them all.

 

ETA:  I can't speak to bathroom stalls but I have a preference as to where I like to sit in theatres so i'm going to sit where I want whether you're nearby or not.  I get there early so if I were to sit elsewhere in deference to you and then watch someone come in later and sit where I wanted to be, I'd be kind of irritated.

Edited February 22, 2016 by Qoass

[bmasters9]

The children in the well-behaved group immediately looked at their parents obviously questioning why the new group was allowed to behave in a fashion they would be punished for.  I felt so bad for them all.

What a horrible double standard that is!

[DeLurker]

As I've mentioned, I don't do confrontation well so instead I try to compliment parents on their well-behaved children when the opportunity presents itself it public.  I think that comes from the time I was at the movies and there was a family in front of me that were all quiet and well behaved.

 

In college I used to work as a hostess at a TGI Fridays and this was when dinosaur roamed the earth (go Bedrock U!).  There was one couple who came in with their child pretty frequently and she was such a well behaved child!  All the wait staff and hostesses would fuss over her and profusely compliment her parents.  If I saw children running around (and there were plenty), I just corralled them and made them sit at the table by the hostess station where they could draw on the back of placemats.  It was the easiest and most effective solution to the problem when you have waiters walking around with loaded plates, often hot and with sharp knives on them.  Their parents were surprisingly indifferent to the absence of their spawn.

 

When my kids were younger, I've had people compliment my kids at the end of a flight.  Most admit that they wanted to say something earlier but feared they would jinx it.

Edited February 22, 2016 by DeLurker

[Blergh]

DeLurker,

 

 Not a bad idea in theory (and intent). However; be warned that even THAT isn't without its risks. I recall once in a store, I went up to mother of well-behaved kids and complimented her and her offspring while dissing some  dervish kids in the same spot and she gave me an icy response. As best I could tell, the other kids were either her  nieces/nephews or best pal's kids and she didn't like me dissing (by extension) the other mother. Learned my lesson and now ONLY compliment parents of well-behaved kids with no nearby brats because one can't be sure said brats might somehow  be connected to the 'good' parent.

[zxy556575]

What is so impossible about not referencing the source book in TV show threads that are clearly labeled No Book Talk? I'd like to discuss what I watched on my [device name] without having to scroll through someone's tl;dr treatise about their disappointment at how unfaithful the adaptation has been, changes between the two versions, how much better the book is, etc. And yes, sneaking in one sentence that refers to the book in a larger post still counts as talking about the book.

[GHScorpiosRule]

What is so impossible about not referencing the source book in TV show threads that are clearly labeled No Book Talk? I'd like to discuss what I watched on my [device name] without having to scroll through someone's tl;dr treatise about their disappointment at how unfaithful the adaptation has been, changes between the two versions, how much better the book is, etc. And yes, sneaking in one sentence that refers to the book in a larger post still counts as talking about the book.

 

AMEN!

 

Or, the other side, about how one who hasn't read, say the first book, or second or third, etc., yet makes assumptions about the main characters based on the opinions of other posters, and asks to be spoiled without having to read the source material, and then continue making assumptions and trash talking the main character(s) and ignoring those of us who have suggested said person read the source material and THEN say what they want? It's gotten so bad I can't go into the forum at all, because I no longer enjoy talking about the show.

[auntlada]

AMEN!

 

Or, the other side, about how one who hasn't read, say the first book, or second or third, etc., yet makes assumptions about the main characters based on the opinions of other posters, and asks to be spoiled without having to read the source material, and then continue making assumptions and trash talking the main character(s) and ignoring those of us who have suggested said person read the source material and THEN say what they want? It's gotten so bad I can't go into the forum at all, because I no longer enjoy talking about the show.

I had to quit reading that one, too. (Pretty sure I know which one you mean.) it was driving me crazy. It does off the Internet, too. I always tell people that when they actually read or see something, then they can tell me how awful they think it is, but until then they are not allowed to share their opinion with me (which basically means I will walk away).

[GHScorpiosRule]

I had to quit reading that one, too. (Pretty sure I know which one you mean.) it was driving me crazy. It does off the Internet, too. I always tell people that when they actually read or see something, then they can tell me how awful they think it is, but until then they are not allowed to share their opinion with me (which basically means I will walk away).

 

Oh yeah, auntlada, It is that show, since I know you've read the books and watch the show.  At least when I went off on the characters and authors, it was while and after I read the buiks!!!

[auntlada]

Actually, I don't watch the show because I don't get that channel. I saw the first episode and I've read about the show and changes made, and I'm not sure I would be happy with them. But that is why I stay out of the show threads. I love the books, though, and am always happy to answer questions about them. And if I had the chance to see the show without paying extra, I probably would try it and might like it. Until then, I'm not going to tell everyone how awful I think it is.

[ratgirlagogo]

Hmmm, what show could this be?  Longmire?  Rizzoli and Isles? Sherlock?  The Walking Dead?

 

;)

 

 

Although actually I guess it COULD be The Walking Dead.

Edited February 24, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[GHScorpiosRule]

Hmmm, what show could this be?  Longmire?  Rizzoli and Isles? Sherlock?  The Walking Dead?

 

;)

 

 

Although actually I guess it COULD be The Walking Dead.

 

 

Nope. None of those.

[krimimimi]

Outlander?

[DeLurker]

GoT?

[Maharincess]

What is GoT?

Never mind. Figured it out.

Edited February 24, 2016 by Maharincess

[GHScorpiosRule]

Delurker is the winner. I say this not as a pet peeve or knocking y'all but just in a funny observation: jeez, don't y'all have enough threads, sub threads, micro threads, organic threads, woven threads, threads threads threads full of rules to satisfy the Unsullied vs Bookwalkers without breaking the Game of Thrones forum barrier? ;) I venture in over there sometimes just to see if any of y'all's heads have exploded ;)

Not in this case. I was talking about Outlander, so krimimimi is the winner.

I may watch Game of Thrones, but I've never read the books, and I'm not interested in doing so.

Edited February 25, 2016 by GHScorpiosRule