Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

When I get home, the bags go back by the door and get taken to the car next time somebody goes out there.  I also have more bags than I need, so even if this batch somehow doesn't make it back into the car, there are others in there.

My routine exactly.

3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

However, I'll note that I'm a middle-aged white lady and am allowed to carry unbagged or self-bagged items out of a store. 

Yep, like how I use a large tote bag for non-grocery shopping, and just go from store to store with it, adding to it as I purchase, and never have some asshole security guard demand to inspect it.

[auntlada]

We are a middle aged white couple with a 5-year-old boy and have been stopped by the greeter at Walmart to see our receipt when we have stuff (like cat litter or toilet paper) that doesn't fit in a bag. It really pissed my husband off, which pissed off the employee. It was so much fun for me. [/sarcasm]

Seriously, if I am going to shoplift, I'm not getting cat litter that weighs 35 pounds or a 24 pack of toilet paper. I'd at least get the expensive toilet paper.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

My feeling is that either need to check everyone's receipt at the door (like Cost Co) or no one's.

I've had my receipt checked at Best Buy which was hilarious because the door was about two feet from the register. When do you think I had to time to shoplift anything in the two seconds between when the cashier handed me my receipt and when I got to the door?

[backformore]

My pet peeve - ANTS! 

It's the time of year, they crawl into the house.    I don't feel like using chemicals to kill them and keep them out, since I know the pattern.  they'll be here for a while, only in the back of the house,  then gone.  It happens every year, after the winter and then rain.  My desk is near a window, and while I'm on the computer I've had an ant on my arm twice today.   But that means that every other minute, I'm imagining an ant on me when there isn't one. 

I sprinkled some baking soda on the counter, under the kitchen window - that's supposed to get rid of them, or at least slow them down.

[Blergh]

backformore,

 

 I don't have as much of a problem with ants as I do with squirrels. Those bushy-tailed rats make a mess of my attic and munch on things they have no business munching. Why can't they like eating ants, roaches, etc. as much as they like chewing wires? Boo!

[ari333]

42 minutes ago, Blergh said:

backformore,

 

 I don't have as much of a problem with ants as I do with squirrels. Those bushy-tailed rats make a mess of my attic and munch on things they have no business munching. Why can't they like eating ants, roaches, etc. as much as they like chewing wires? Boo!

I feed the squirrels and birds old bread and or birdseed. It's cheap, it's fun, and there  isn't any wire chewing. I think squirrels are vegetarians unless they're desperate and starving. I've seen them go for cat food that is outside, etc. but usually not - if something else is available.

That's good to know about the window and the ants with baking soda. I didn't know that. I'm not allergic to them, but sensitive. I get huge welts when they bite that take a long time to heal.  They get me when I'm outside. But we've had them inside a couple of times. PEEVE.

Edited March 27, 2017 by ari333

[MrSmith]

@ari333 and @backformore Cinnamon is poisonous to ants and they will not cross it. We lived in the upper apt of a converted tri-level home and the lower apt was infested with ants because the dimwit who lived there never cleaned. They would ascend the kitchen plumbing into our apt. We packed cinnamon into the gaps between the countertop and sink and around the hole the plumbing went through under the sink. No more ants.

[ari333]

10 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

@ari333 and @backformore Cinnamon is poisonous to ants and they will not cross it. We lived in the upper apt of a converted tri-level home and the lower apt was infested with ants because the dimwit who lived there never cleaned. They would ascend the kitchen plumbing into our apt. We packed cinnamon into the gaps between the countertop and sink and around the hole the plumbing went through under the sink. No more ants.

Wow. Thank you! I didn't know that. And as a  plus I love the smell of cinnamon. :-)

I also didn't know insects  could climb up plumbing. I mean, of course I know they can climb things, but somehow I thought everyone's plumbing was separate. I'm a doofus about those things.

I did  wonder why a few years ago when were staying with friends when we first moved here until we got our own place,  we had what looked like little gnats or gnat-like flying things and they seemed to come from the drain/s.  We got our own place and moved, so I don't know how they resolved it.

Edited March 27, 2017 by ari333

[Angeltoes]

When did real thank you notes become obsolete?  We attended our daughter's best friend's wedding and gave the couple (both over 30) a $200 gift card for Macys.  After the wedding we get an envelope in the mail that is addressed with a computerized mailing label (plain white, nothing fancy).  Inside is a picture of the bride and groom in their wedding finery, holding up a sign between them that says "Thank You." Computer-printed next to the picture is,"Thank you for making our day special.  John and Mary."   The end....no personal note, no indication of what they were planning on buying with the gift card, no actual signature.  Times they are a-changin'.

[ari333]

28 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

When did real thank you notes become obsolete?  We attended our daughter's best friend's wedding and gave the couple (both over 30) a $200 gift card for Macys.  After the wedding we get an envelope in the mail that is addressed with a computerized mailing label (plain white, nothing fancy).  Inside is a picture of the bride and groom in their wedding finery, holding up a sign between them that says "Thank You." Computer-printed next to the picture is,"Thank you for making our day special.  John and Mary."   The end....no personal note, no indication of what they were planning on buying with the gift card, no actual signature.  Times they are a-changin'.

I hear you.

 Here's one. My brother had two weddings. (One wedding, divorce, another wedding - for clarification) But the whole point was not the bride, the groom,  the love, the commitment - it was the effing gifts. He invited everyone who he had ever known or who *I* had ever even barely known even from grade school. (He was in 23 the first time and  28 ish the second time). It was all about the gifts. He invited everyone who had ever worked with my parents even if they had no current relationship with those people and he didn't even know them at all. There were some generic computer generated thank yous *IF* you got a thank you card. (many didn't - or so I heard.)

I cannot recall the last time I got a hand written thank you. PEEVE. [/i'm old]

I would even be OK with an emailed thank you. Or a text thank you. Didn't get that either from other recent weddings. Sometimes I want to ask, "Did you receive my gift?"

Edited March 27, 2017 by ari333

[Bastet]

17 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

After the wedding we get an envelope in the mail that is addressed with a computerized mailing label (plain white, nothing fancy).  Inside is a picture of the bride and groom in their wedding finery, holding up a sign between them that says "Thank You." Computer-printed next to the picture is,"Thank you for making our day special.  John and Mary."

That is unreal.  Did it arrive shortly after the wedding?  Maybe it's some sort of placeholder, a way to quickly acknowledge those who attended, with personalized, hand-written thank-you notes for the gifts to be done over the next couple of months?  I'm probably giving them too much credit, but that's just so tacky I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around it.

[rcc]

My niece sent out postcards with a computer printed general message as a thank you card. An impersonal postcard to her aunt!

I never said a word to my sister because I'm sure I would have heard that all the kids are doing it that way now.

[LilWharveyGal]

Well, dang.  I got married last fall and my husband and I could have saved ourselves some serious hand cramps if we had known that pre-printed postcards were the in thing.  I guess that's what I get for not having a Pinterest wedding.

[JTMacc99]

Good for you @LilWharveyGal

My kids have quite a few years from now and when I put them in the range to get married, but I would be really disappointed if they didn't write out notes. Their mom, on the other hand, would lose her shit. Thank you notes are big on that side of the family.

[zxy556575]

8 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Well, dang.  I got married last fall and my husband and I could have saved ourselves some serious hand cramps if we had known that pre-printed postcards were the in thing.  I guess that's what I get for not having a Pinterest wedding.

That's good to hear. When I got married in 1972, there was no question that the bride was expected to write all the thank yous. Makes me wonder what the division of labor is when a note of appreciation is reduced to envelope stuffing.

Edited March 28, 2017 by Lord Donia

[Angeltoes]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

That is unreal.  Did it arrive shortly after the wedding?  

The wedding was a year ago and they sent the picture a few weeks later.  I, too, thought maybe a real note would follow but no dice. It's not a case of an overwhelmed young wife either because she has managed to find time, every day since, to post a wedding photo to her Facebook page along with some sentimental thought like,"Can't believe it's been so long!! Seems like yesterday!"

Edited March 27, 2017 by Angeltoes

[Bastet]

8 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

The wedding was a year ago and they sent the picture a few weeks later.  I, too, thought maybe a real note would follow but no dice. It's not a case of an overwhelmed young wife either because she has managed to find time, every day since, to post a wedding photo to her Facebook page along with some sentimental thought like,"Can't believe it's been so long!! Seems like yesterday!"

Gross all around, then.  Ugh.

I know writing individual thank-you notes is a tedious task whenever you have more than a few to do; you're writing much the same thing over and over, sometimes you're straining for something to say, your eyes glaze over, your hand cramps up, you get bored ...

But, jeez, it's such common courtesy I can't believe there are so many people out there who think it's fine to skip.  Especially for a wedding, when people tend to give fairly expensive gifts (and possibly take time out of their lives to attend). 

[3pwood]

24 minutes ago, Bastet said:

... But, jeez, it's such common courtesy I can't believe there are so many people out there who think it's fine to skip.  Especially for a wedding, when people tend to give fairly expensive gifts (and possibly take time out of their lives to attend). 

Not common at all, I'm afraid.  I read the Miss Manners column regularly & am appalled at what passes for polite behavior these days.  (I know I sound like my mother, but she was right, dammit!)  When I was a girl, we scoffed at marriage & just shacked up -- at least we were honest about it & didn't expect gifts that weren't acknowledged.

Edited March 27, 2017 by 3pwood

[janestclair]

Speaking of weddings, I got a save the date card for a cousins' wedding in California.  Now, we used to be relatively close with these people, but I personally have no spoken to any of them in a good 5 years.  I know his mom came to my sister's wedding and gave a gift, so she probably should at least send a gift to reciprocate.  But I'm not going and am perpetually single, so I don't have to send anything, right?

If I did get married, I would absolutely send personal thank you notes. In fact, I harped on my sister until she did it.  It took months.   

[auntlada]

I believe that Miss Manners says that if you do not attend the wedding, you do not have to send a gift. Also, the cost of the wedding has no relation at all to what the cost of the gift should be. (I think that was in a column this weekend.)

[theredhead77]

Thank you notes - I write them, on cute little thank you cards that I picked up in the Target dollar section. If you give me a gift you will get a hand written thank you note. I also write thank you notes after job interviews. I landed my last job because of it (the [then] President told me that the thank you note is what set me apart).

I went to a wedding in December; the thank you note was computer generated with a personal note. It was perfect. I'm going to another wedding on Saturday and my friend was stressed because she hadn't finished the thank you notes from her shower (last month).

Pet peeve - people who double park in front of an open spot to drop someone off or wait to pick someone up. Seriously, pull the car into the fucking spot!

[Bastet]

2 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

I landed my last job because of it (the [then] President told me that the thank you note is what set me apart).

Seriously, people have stopped doing that, too?  Sure, along the way I've had a few people not send one (which immediately moved them to the bottom of the pile), but they were anomalies.  Now (it has been a while since I've had to hire anyone), sending a thank-you note after an interview is so rare that sending one stands out?

[theredhead77]

Just now, Bastet said:

Seriously, people have stopped doing that, too?  Sure, along the way I've had a few people not send one (which immediately moved them to the bottom of the pile), but they were anomalies.  Now (it has been a while since I've had to hire anyone), sending a thank-you note after an interview is so rare that sending one stands out?

I send mine via snail mail, maybe people don't do that anymore? 

Basically I go home from interview, write a very short thank you note thanking them again for their time, restating one thing that makes me a good fit and "I look forward to blah blah", drive to the post office, mail said thank you note, go home and change then I'll write an email thank you note that's slightly longer and more in depth of the one I just mailed.

[auntlada]

21 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Seriously, people have stopped doing that, too?  Sure, along the way I've had a few people not send one (which immediately moved them to the bottom of the pile), but they were anomalies.  Now (it has been a while since I've had to hire anyone), sending a thank-you note after an interview is so rare that sending one stands out?

At my last job, I had to help interview quite a few applicants, as we had very high turnover (insane boss, low pay). None of them ever wrote a thank you note, email or otherwise. Of course, a number of them also wore jeans to the interview, and the women (usually just out of college, so I tended to think of them as girls, but they were old enough to be women) often wore dhirts that were trendy, but that I considered rather low-cut for a job interview -- or really even for work. I wondered what happened to dressing up for the interview.

[theredhead77]

5 hours ago, janestclair said:

Speaking of weddings, I got a save the date card for a cousins' wedding in California.  Now, we used to be relatively close with these people, but I personally have no spoken to any of them in a good 5 years.  I know his mom came to my sister's wedding and gave a gift, so she probably should at least send a gift to reciprocate.  But I'm not going and am perpetually single, so I don't have to send anything, right?

If I did get married, I would absolutely send personal thank you notes. In fact, I harped on my sister until she did it.  It took months.   

 

2 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

@janestclair  I don't think you have to send a gift yet I can't help thinking that if you were close at one time, and life just took each of you in different directions with no animosity at the core, it would be a nice gesture to send a token gift of some sort. Especially since they did send you a personal invite, it seems you are still on their minds. Sometimes families just become about the big things in life, not the everyday things, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

All of the above is cancelled if there is ridiculousness involved. 

You could always send a card with, or without a token gift.

Personally, I give gifts I can afford. The wedding I went to in December was a co-workers wedding, they invited the entire department and at the wedding it felt like we were the obligation group. I'm not sad I did't spend a lot of $$ on their gift (considering it was an upper manager marrying a former co-worker). The wedding I'm going to on Saturday is for some really close friends. They're close enough that they know money is tight (I declined the bachelorette party due to $$). I bought them an inexpensive gift off their registry and will be giving a personal gift, of a super cute photo of them that was taken right after they got engaged in a custom frame from the event. I've also tried to help my friend where I can, since her bridesmaids aren't being super helpful. I can't see my friends batting an eye at the cost of my gift.

[zxy556575]

I may have expressed my displeasure (bitched) about this before. When I was working, I'd send each of the new hires in my department a $20 Starbucks gift card as a small welcome. Very rarely would anyone acknowledge theirs. Yes, it was a quick online purchase for me that took no thought, but it was from me, not the company. We all worked remotely and it would take them, what?, five minutes to email back and say thanks. But no.

I can check online and see if the certificates were retrieved by the recipient, so I know they got them.

I mean, (1) it's very rude, and (2) I'M YOUR FREAKING BOSS. Whatever happened to sucking up?

[zxy556575]

8 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

My kids have quite a few years from now and when I put them in the range to get married, but I would be really disappointed if they didn't write out notes. Their mom, on the other hand, would lose her shit. Thank you notes are big on that side of the family.

There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond about wedding thank you notes. Marie, no shrinking violet, was pushing Amy to write hers. It caused a huge ruckus. Heh.

[theredhead77]

This makes me want to send a thank you note to my mom for making me write thank you notes. She was not above withholding gifts until they were done. Strawberry  Shortcake included a thank you postcard  in the box of each item.

https://goo.gl/images/4aiTbI

[BookWoman56]

I am older than dirt and therefore remember having to order special stationery on which to hand-write my thank you notes for the gifts my husband and I received for my first marriage. I made a point of personalizing them to include not only a generic "thank you" but also mentioning exactly what they had given and how much I was looking forward to using it, etc. I did not need prompting from anyone to write them; I made damn sure I stayed caught up beginning with gifts received at a couple of showers and most of the gifts received prior to the wedding itself, so that when we returned from the honeymoon, I only had to deal with the gifts that had arrived a couple of days prior to the wedding and a few that arrived after the wedding. 

As for sending a thank you note after a job interview, I am currently teaching a college-level workplace writing course, and for one major assignment in that course, the students have to create a resume, write a cover letter, and then they are to assume they have had an interview, and write a follow-up letter/email. While part of the purpose of the follow-up letter is to reiterate their interest in the job and why they would be a good fit, it is right there in my grading rubric that the first paragraph has to include formal thanks for the interview. My students are not traditional college students, meaning they're not 18-year-olds who just graduated from high school. Roughly 75% of them have been in the workplace at least a decade already. Yet many of them had never even written a cover letter, much less a follow-up letter or even just a quick note to express thanks for the interview. Some of them had, and some of them made a point of saying that they had gotten much better results when they did.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ha, yes, if only I had known that I could get out of writing thank you notes by sending a photo of myself!

12 hours ago, ari333 said:

My brother had two weddings. (One wedding, divorce, another wedding - for clarification) But the whole point was not the bride, the groom,  the love, the commitment - it was the effing gifts. He invited everyone who he had ever known or who *I* had ever even barely known even from grade school. (He was in 23 the first time and  28 ish the second time). It was all about the gifts. He invited everyone who had ever worked with my parents even if they had no current relationship with those people and he didn't even know them at all. There were some generic computer generated thank yous *IF* you got a thank you card. (many didn't - or so I heard.)

I cannot recall the last time I got a hand written thank you. PEEVE. [/i'm old]

I would even be OK with an emailed thank you. Or a text thank you. Didn't get that either from other recent weddings. Sometimes I want to ask, "Did you receive my gift?"

 

Mr. EB and I did the opposite. We had a very small wedding because we really wanted only the most important people in our lives there. Another not so small factor was that we paid for the entire wedding ourselves. I think some people would be a lot less inclined to invite everyone they've ever met if they personally had to pay for all those meals.

I had a spreadsheet to keep track of every wedding gift we received: what date it arrived, who sent it, what it was, and the date that I sent the thank you note. Each person got a handwritten note stating what we had received. In general, I wrote the thank you note the day that I received the gift and mailed it the following day (mostly because I was terrified of falling behind and I did not want to have to write them all at once!). THANK GOODNESS I was so OCD about the spreadsheet because a few months after the wedding, my mom called to tell me that my grandmother was upset that I hadn't sent her a thank you note yet. I went to my spreadsheet and said no, I KNOW that I wrote and sent a thank you note to her. I can tell you the exact date that I mailed it!

One of the reasons I hate not receiving a thank you card is because I don't know if you even received whatever I sent. A few years ago, there were some local high school kids who were going around after school and stealing any UPS packages they saw out in the open (like in front of people's doors) so now I am extra paranoid about whether people actually receive whatever I sent them!

[MrSmith]

20 hours ago, ari333 said:

Wow. Thank you! I didn't know that. And as a  plus I love the smell of cinnamon. :-)

I also didn't know insects  could climb up plumbing. I mean, of course I know they can climb things, but somehow I thought everyone's plumbing was separate. I'm a doofus about those things.

I did  wonder why a few years ago when were staying with friends when we first moved here until we got our own place,  we had what looked like little gnats or gnat-like flying things and they seemed to come from the drain/s.  We got our own place and moved, so I don't know how they resolved it.

You're welcome. When it comes to insects climbing plumbing, it was possible in this place only because the plumbing was inter-connected. I don't know how inter-connected the plumbing is in a normal apartment building or condo complex. I know that, eventually, much of it goes out the same pipe, of course. In our case, it was only natural for them to walk straight up.

Those little gnats in the drain are called sewer flies or drain flies. In order to get rid of them, you have to keep the drains clean for at least three weeks. I rented a room in a house where the owner (and resident landlord) never cleaned. No, really. He literally never cleaned. I didn't realize it was like that until after I moved in. (I needed a place to stay in Minneapolis fast and agreed to rent the place over the phone, sight unseen.) I stayed there about 6 months; two weeks before I moved out, the drain fly population exploded. That happened at the same time as the fruit fly population exploded. The first day that happened was a Thursday, which is what I walked into when I came back to my room after work. I ended up going back into work at 6pm (I'd already been up since 6am) and worked until 2:30am. After that, I took Friday off and just drove home to Kasson, MN (where my wife was still living at the time) for the weekend. I barely made it home that night without falling asleep and crashing. For the last week I lived there, I just hung fly strips all over my room and especially by my bedroom door.

Edited March 28, 2017 by MrSmith

[theredhead77]

Pet peeve: getting 5 different answers from 5 different CSRs. I am playing mileage roulette for my August trip. I received my new card in the beginning of March. I immediately made my first purchase, paid it off when the statement closed and am anxiously awaiting the "annual fee" to post (which was supposed to post when the statement closed). Once I pay the fee I have to wait 4-6 weeks, or 6-8 weeks for the miles to post or I can make purchases of at least $95 (the annual fee) to trigger the settings, but no, she was mistaken, I have to wait for the fee to post. But I may have to wait 60 days after the fee posts to ensure I don' ttry to cancel the card after I get my miles. All of those things were told to me by different people.

I did read the fine print before I applied. Anyone have experience with BarclayCard? I'm tempted to cancel it now, take the hit to my credit and pay the $95 to my mom (that's the cost it would be for her to transfer miles to me).

[Bastet]

9 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

One of the reasons I hate not receiving a thank you card is because I don't know if you even received whatever I sent.

Exactly; as you noted, even though tracking shows the package was delivered, that doesn't mean someone didn't snatch it off the porch (there's a mini-rash of that going on right now in a nearby neighborhood).  So if I don't receive a thank-you note, I don't know whether the recipient is an ill-mannered ingrate, or if they're sitting around thinking I'm a big jerk who couldn't be bothered to send a gift because they never received what I sent.

[MrSmith]

15 hours ago, auntlada said:

At my last job, I had to help interview quite a few applicants, as we had very high turnover (insane boss, low pay). None of them ever wrote a thank you note, email or otherwise. Of course, a number of them also wore jeans to the interview, and the women (usually just out of college, so I tended to think of them as girls, but they were old enough to be women) often wore dhirts that were trendy, but that I considered rather low-cut for a job interview -- or really even for work. I wondered what happened to dressing up for the interview.

I don't write thank you notes for interviews. I don't feel like the company is doing me a favor by interviewing me. Certainly the people interviewing me are not; they're interviewing me because that's part of the job. And if the company is doing me a favor by interviewing me, then I'm doing them a favor in equal measure by making myself available as a candidate to fill the role for which they've got an opening. My mother used to make me write thank you notes for interviews when I was 16, 17, 18. And I never understood it, then, either. In the end, it's just business; the company wants to make money and needs someone to perform certain duties in order to maximize their profits, and I'm interested in doing the work (presumably) and need to earn a living. If they hire me, their work gets done and I get to do something interesting.

I think thank you notes for interviews are a relic of a by-gone age when employees felt loyalty to their employers and tended to work there until they retired or died. Back then, it seems to me it was a much more personal relationship between the employee and the employer and one in which your supervisors actually cared about you. The world has changed and employers were the first to become ruthlessly mercenary about hiring and employment. Don't expect me to be any less mercenary. My wife was such an optimist 15 years ago and look where that got her: Her left knee cap is split in half and she has a permanent limp and permanent nerve damage in her left leg. And what did the company do? When they decided they weren't getting enough information from her doctor, they accepted her "voluntary resignation" (which she never tendered) and had a friend deliver her stuff that was still at work to our house. So, you'll excuse me if I shake your hand while holding the dagger behind my back in my left hand.

[ganesh]

If you're interviewing for a faculty position to be university/college professor at any level, you can easily disqualify yourself without thank you emails. This may be because they intend to hire you for 10-15 years so it's a big commitment on their part. So, fyi. 

[theredhead77]

20 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

I don't write thank you notes for interviews. I don't feel like the company is doing me a favor by interviewing me. Certainly the people interviewing me are not; they're interviewing me because that's part of the job. And if the company is doing me a favor by interviewing me, then I'm doing them a favor in equal measure by making myself available as a candidate to fill the role for which they've got an opening. My mother used to make me write thank you notes for interviews when I was 16, 17, 18. And I never understood it, then, either. In the end, it's just business; the company wants to make money and needs someone to perform certain duties in order to maximize their profits, and I'm interested in doing the work (presumably) and need to earn a living. If they hire me, their work gets done and I get to do something interesting.

I supposed it depends on the industry but overall thank you notes help you stand out from the crowd. They show you are really interested in the job and not just going through the motions. I posted above they were the tipping point for my current job. They've helped me get every job I've applied for (except the one where I got an offer before the thank you note would have made it to the manager). If you and I were interviewing together, I sent a thank you note and you didn't, and everything else was equal between us there's a really good chance my note would give me a better shot at that job and frankly 5 minutes and a stamp to increase my chances is worth it to me.

I'm sorry about what happened to your wife. My dad was screwed over by his last employer, fired him for a medical condition (illegal), mailed his stuff back in a box, it all arrived broken. He spent the last few years before retirement doing whatever he could to help bring in income (he couldn't get interviewed for anything due to "too much experience" (aka too old) and developed severe depression. 

[partofme]

1 hour ago, MrSmith said:

I don't write thank you notes for interviews. I don't feel like the company is doing me a favor by interviewing me. Certainly the people interviewing me are not; they're interviewing me because that's part of the job. And if the company is doing me a favor by interviewing me, then I'm doing them a favor in equal measure by making myself available as a candidate to fill the role for which they've got an opening. My mother used to make me write thank you notes for interviews when I was 16, 17, 18. And I never understood it, then, either. In the end, it's just business; the company wants to make money and needs someone to perform certain duties in order to maximize their profits, and I'm interested in doing the work (presumably) and need to earn a living. If they hire me, their work gets done and I get to do something interesting.

I think thank you notes for interviews are a relic of a by-gone age when employees felt loyalty to their employers and tended to work there until they retired or died. Back then, it seems to me it was a much more personal relationship between the employee and the employer and one in which your supervisors actually cared about you. The world has changed and employers were the first to become ruthlessly mercenary about hiring and employment. Don't expect me to be any less mercenary. My wife was such an optimist 15 years ago and look where that got her: Her left knee cap is split in half and she has a permanent limp and permanent nerve damage in her left leg. And what did the company do? When they decided they weren't getting enough information from her doctor, they accepted her "voluntary resignation" (which she never tendered) and had a friend deliver her stuff that was still at work to our house. So, you'll excuse me if I shake your hand while holding the dagger behind my back in my left hand.

I agree wholeheartedly with this.  I have written handwritten thank you notes in the past, and it never got me the job, so I've given it up out of fear that I'm saying something that might be off putting in the letter and actually cost me a job that I might otherwise get.

[theredhead77]

Dear [person you interviewed with],

Thank you so much for taking the time time [this morning, afternoon, evening] to discuss [position at company] with me. I found [component discussed] [adverb] [adjective] and [here's how I can fill that need]. I look forward to [moving forward in the interview process / hearing from you soon].

Thank you again,

Name

The letters I send are custom to the people they are being sent to. What I sent to the hiring manager involved specifics of the position while the one I sent to the HR Director (during the 2nd round) mentioned the company culture and what I could bring to it.

Pet peeve: people who say "maybe" when they mean "no".

[MrSmith]

2 hours ago, ganesh said:

If you're interviewing for a faculty position to be university/college professor at any level, you can easily disqualify yourself without thank you emails. This may be because they intend to hire you for 10-15 years so it's a big commitment on their part. So, fyi. 

The exception that proves the rule, in my opinion.

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I supposed it depends on the industry but overall thank you notes help you stand out from the crowd. They show you are really interested in the job and not just going through the motions. I posted above they were the tipping point for my current job. They've helped me get every job I've applied for (except the one where I got an offer before the thank you note would have made it to the manager). If you and I were interviewing together, I sent a thank you note and you didn't, and everything else was equal between us there's a really good chance my note would give me a better shot at that job and frankly 5 minutes and a stamp to increase my chances is worth it to me.

I'm sorry about what happened to your wife. My dad was screwed over by his last employer, fired him for a medical condition (illegal), mailed his stuff back in a box, it all arrived broken. He spent the last few years before retirement doing whatever he could to help bring in income (he couldn't get interviewed for anything due to "too much experience" (aka too old) and developed severe depression. 

I understand what you're saying, but at the end of the day, interviewing and being interviewed is business. If you don't like me enough from what you've seen of my knowledge, experience, and personality during the interview process and if a thank you note (kissing your ass) is what's going to put me over the top, then that's probably not a place I really want to work, anyway. I've worked in places where the people I worked with either weren't nice or didn't like me very much and those jobs sucked the hardest. I'd rather be unemployed than suffer people who are suffering me or feel like they could have gotten a more qualified candidate if they'd just waited a little longer.

[theredhead77]

8 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

I'd rather be unemployed than suffer people who are suffering me or feel like they could have gotten a more qualified candidate if they'd just waited a little longer.

I wish I had that luxury, but I don't so I'll hedge my bets doing everything I can for a job I really want, any day.

[zxy556575]

Filed under Peeve, bad judgment

So I'm mixing the ingredients for spicy corn pudding. When I open the box of corn muffin mix, there are little black blobs throughout. God, is that mold? No, those are blueberries, doofus. You grabbed up Jiffy's blueberry muffin mix instead of corn.

Unwilling to take the proper corrective action (get dressed and return to the store), I carefully picked and sifted out all the blueberries and used the remaining mix. During cooking, the whole house starts to smell of blueberries. This was not a good sign.

The resulting pudding never set properly and tasted of syrupy blueberries with an afterkick of pico de gallo. Down the disposal it goes. Gah.

I'm also mad at myself for recently buying a blender and food processor, being dissatisfied with both, but not being able to return them because I had already recycled the damned boxes. I do that all the time and never learn!

Edited March 29, 2017 by Lord Donia

[3pwood]

My father also bought the Jiffy blueberry muffin mix by mistake, instead of the cornbread mix, & didn't realize it until he opened the box & saw all the little dark things -- he thought they were bugs at first, which would have been OK because he's no sissy (extra protein!).  He didn't go to the trouble of removing the berries & just went ahead & made the muffins because he likes muffins, but he did complain that they didn't taste very good with chili.

He also complained once about how A&W root beer wasn't as good as it used to be & had become too sweet & just bland, until someone pointed out that the bottle was clearly labeled "Cream Soda".

He's always been absent-minded & now that he's over 90, things aren't improving.  But the problem starts with other customers putting products back in the wrong spaces on the shelf, which is a big pet peeve of mine (& my dad's).

[bilgistic]

2 hours ago, Lord Donia said:

I'm also mad at myself for recently buying a blender and food processor, being dissatisfied with both, but not being able to return because I had already recycled the damned boxes. I do that all the time and never learn!

During college, I worked at Best Buy at the "bitch and complain desk" (returns and exchange desk). It sucked, of course, but it taught me to never throw out the packaging or receipt for my purchases' return/exchange periods. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I keep my receipts for at least a few weeks for the very same reason (I swear it's not paranoia!)! Even if it's a store that will take things back without a receipt (like Cost Co), it's SO much easier when you have one.

[MrSmith]

OK. Here's something that's been bugging me for a few days every time I see it. CNN is running an article on their website about a woman in the process of gender transition. The headline reads "He's straight, but women won't date him". Uhh, no, CNN. He's not straight. He's transgender and hasn't had reassignment surgery (yes, the headline worked on me and I don't know why). Headlines like that, in general, are a huge pet peeve of mine. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

[Angeltoes]

13 hours ago, 3pwood said:

 

But the problem starts with other customers putting products back in the wrong spaces on the shelf, which is a big pet peeve of mine (& my dad's).

I feel that way about the books at the library. Every visit I reshelve at least a few.  My theory is that someone may really need that book but they won't be able to find it if it's in the wrong place.  OCD Nerd to the rescue!

[JTMacc99]

An oldie, but sometimes it flares up and needs to be said: "If you are driving, and there is nobody in front of you, and there is a line of at least a half dozen cars stacked up behind you, YOU are driving too slowly."

[Blergh]

Here's another driving pet peeve: I don't care how long it's been since you've seen so-and-so, having a convo  at a perpendicular corner with another driver and blocking FOUR lanes of traffic is NOT cool.

[ari333]

On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 8:05 AM, MrSmith said:

.

Sorry, Mr Smith I cannot get your quote box off. (Does that sound dirty and I didn't mean it to? )

I was trying to bitch about a different peeve and a quote box appeared. Anyhoo..

I know this is a dead horse, so forgive me. I just read something that made me feel stabby.

"The apartment'S were recently converted to condo'S."

Stabby. Dead horse.

Just pull the trigger.   : -)

Edited March 29, 2017 by ari333

[MrSmith]

2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

An oldie, but sometimes it flares up and needs to be said: "If you are driving, and there is nobody in front of you, and there is a line of at least a half dozen cars stacked up behind you, YOU are driving too slowly."

This isn't true. If the people behind me want to go faster, they're welcome to pass me whenever the opportunity presents. Just because the speed limit is X does not mean I'm required to go X. I'm entitled to drive as fast or as slow as I damn well please, with the obvious exception being if there is a posted minimum speed. In that case, I'm entitled to drive as fast or as slow as I want, provided my speed is >= Y minimum and <= X maximum speeds. There might be a reason I'm going under the speed limit, including simply not having the confidence required to go faster. You have no way to judge the skill level of the person in the car in front of you. Maybe their speed is informed by some piece of information you simply don't have. Again, if you want to go faster than the person in front of you, invest the fuel in passing them and go the speed you want to go. I'm not obligated to go as fast as you think I should be going.

And I've seen it waaay too many times where people tailgate and will never pass, but they're happy to keep up with (and keep tailgating) you no matter how fast you go. From what I've seen, most people just want to try to make you go faster so that you get the majority of the risk of a speeding ticket, while they're able to pace you for a while and save some time with little to no risk of increasing their insurance premiums. In fact, my dad recently re-learned this lesson last summer when I visited my parents. We were in a 40 mph zone and had someone behind us tailgating. My dad didn't want to "impede" traffic and so sped up to 50 mph. The person behind us had plenty of opportunity to pass using the other lane (it was a 4 lane divided highway) and yet they chose to continue tailgating him. When he got to 55, I commented that he shouldn't worry about what he thinks other people want to do on the road. If they want to pass him, they either had plenty of opportunity (as in this case) or the opportunity would probably present at some point. And if they can't pass (because there's a lot of traffic), then they'll just have to suck it up and do whatever speed prevails for a while.