Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[AgentRXS]

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My brother moved from here to Florida about 12 years ago so he's been through both earthquakes and hurricanes.  He said all the prep time does is give more time for people to be stupid and he said people start acting really stupid when this happens.  I'll take my here and gone earthquakes for sure. 

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Welp, it's 4 am and has had hardly rained at all. No storms, thunder or otherwise. The "squall" forecasts for Friday afternoon have been downgraded to "rain."

All week everyone acted like the apocalypse was upon us. Up until the last minute, the TV news anchors were screaming the sky is falling. I decided to prep as soon as it was nearing close just in case. Although the stores were jam packed and most of the essentials were already near sold out, most people were kind and cooperative. At the very last minute, Matty decided to turn just a hair north. We were still under a "tropical storm warning". The thunderstorm we had last week was more severe lol.  At least I got 2 1/2 days paid leave.

And yes, Publix, Walgreens, CVS, and 7/11 and all the others profited in a major way.  With this thing predicted to circle back around to South Fl (yay!) who knows when they will be properly restocked.

To make this post on topic: I hate those idiots who don't heed official warnings. Yesterday at 3pm, our governor announced that all drivers needed to get off the road ASAP as emergency vehicles would be soon suspending service.  So of course some idiot surfer goes to the beach, surfs some waves, and then hydroplanes her car into a pier smh.  And apparently the wind caused some downed trees/debris on some of the beaches this morning so they announced that the beaches were off limits until the afternoon.....and I just read a story the sheriff's office had to turn away crowds of onlookers wanting to be nosy to deter them from getting hurt from the debris. 

Just follow the rules, people. It sucks, but just do it.

[janestclair]

I'm glad it seems like Matthew wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. We went through Sandy a few years back and that is an experience I'd rather not have to repeat, nor wish on anyone else.  What sucks is that all the idiots who didn't heed the warnings will all be like, "See?! It was nothing" and then the next time there's a dire prediction they'll ignore that too.  

[Bastet]

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I would choose one of our earthquakes over hurricanes any damn day. We don't have earthquake season every year.  With most earthquakes, unless you're right on the epicenter, by the time you think "oh shit, it's an earthquake", it's over.  

That's what I always tell my relatives in Oklahoma when they say they'd be terrified to live here (L.A.) because of the earthquakes.  I'll take the occasional earthquake - most of which do little more than rattle the wall art - over the annual tornado season, thank you.  It would be nice to have the advance warning for an earthquake you do for a tornado or hurricane, yes, but I like the odds.

I think it largely comes down to what you're used to.

Back to peeves, "storm watch" news coverage every time we have more than three consecutive drops of rain here is annoying enough; I can only imagine what local coverage is like for hurricanes and such.

Edited October 7, 2016 by Bastet

[DeLurker]

50 minutes ago, janestclair said:

 What sucks is that all the idiots who didn't heed the warnings will all be like, "See?! It was nothing" and then the next time there's a dire prediction they'll ignore that too.  

I'm related to some of those idiots, but they made an informed decision - they've lived in Florida 45+ years, on a barrier island  for half that time.  If they get wiped out by a storm, I'll be sad but will also be calling them dumbasses.

[zxy556575]

4 hours ago, Bastet said:

Back to peeves, "storm watch" news coverage every time we have more than three consecutive drops of rain here is annoying enough; I can only imagine what local coverage is like for hurricanes and such.

When is local news not a peeve? Beyond that, all network coverage around here has been preempted since Thursday afternoon and, as always, there is not nearly enough to talk about for 24 hours straight.

The local anchors and correspondents have less experience and are even worse at it than dedicated national news networks. Some of the coverage is amusing, so there's that. But if people are sitting at home with power watching TV, I'd say they're pretty much just looky-lous.

Regular programming hasn't yet resumed so we're currently getting all the "Look! Tree branches are down!" stories.

Edited October 7, 2016 by lordonia

[bilgistic]

3 hours ago, Bastet said:

Back to peeves, "storm watch" news coverage every time we have more than three consecutive drops of rain here is annoying enough; I can only imagine what local coverage is like for hurricanes and such.

Like the one inch of snow we get here each year?

"We're bringing you minute-by-minute news and updates, including school, business, government office and church closings for the 16-county metro region, for WINTER STORM BONANZA 2016!"

[ABay]

While I wish no one loss of life or home, I root for every hurricane to head for Connecticut, along with regular thunderstorms, snow storms, nor'easters, blizzards...I love a good storm. I especially love snow storms--getting up in the morning and raising the blind to see how much has fallen, seeing the good news on TV that my campus is closed...I feel like a kid again. Actually...maybe the reason I love snow days is that my school district never closed for snow days. All Buffalo public and parochial schools may be closed, but get your boots on, missy, because Williamsville doesn't close unless the Apocalypse is nigh and even then they'd wait until they could analyze  the dung of the pale horse...

Sorry, where were we? Oh, right, CT is in a drought and I would welcome any rain before New England turns into the dust bowl, even if it means losing electricity. And if it meant not having to go into work, you know, I'd be willing to take that hit for the team. Cuz that's the kind of community-first gal I am.

[Maharincess]

On 10/7/2016 at 0:31 PM, Bastet said:

That's what I always tell my relatives in Oklahoma when they say they'd be terrified to live here (L.A.) because of the earthquakes.  I'll take the occasional earthquake - most of which do little more than rattle the wall art - over the annual tornado season, thank you.  It would be nice to have the advance warning for an earthquake you do for a tornado or hurricane, yes, but I like the odds.

I think it largely comes down to what you're used to.

Back to peeves, "storm watch" news coverage every time we have more than three consecutive drops of rain here is annoying enough; I can only imagine what local coverage is like for hurricanes and such.

I'm always wrong when it comes to earthquakes. I can't count how many times I've woken up to the bed shaking and just as I'm getting ready to duck and cover I realize that it's not a quake, it's one of my animals scratching themselves on the bed.  Then there was the time a year or so ago when I woke up to the bed shaking and whispered to Kaylee to stop scratching when I realized it was an earthquake.  I always get it wrong.  Most of the time I don't even feel them, I don't even know we've had one until I read it in my city's website.   I will say that the Loma Prieta quake of '89 did scare me.  I was getting ready to go see Stevie Nicks, when she finally rescheduled the concert, somebody hung themslwves in the parking lot during the show.  She hasn't been back to my city since. 

I agree that a little advanced warning would be nice. 

Peeve?  I'm in a good mood today so I've got nothing. 

Edited October 9, 2016 by Maharincess
Because can and can't are very different.

[Guest]

My local weather is having some kind of hurricane envy.  We are close enough that we have evacuees.  But the viewing area has no actual hurricane impact, and yet my news basically hits these bullet points in a tone like we are part of the path of the hurricane:

- Hurricane Matthew

- Clouds

-Breezy

-17 mile per hour winds

[Bastet]

The Northridge quake was the only one I've been through that did any damage (beyond the stray crack in drywall/plaster) to where I was living and that was strong enough to actually scare me; for a while after that I'd have a moment of panic at the first shake, but then I went back to barely looking up.  A friend of mine lived in Northridge at the time, and the poor guy wound up out in the street naked (that's how he slept, and it shook so hard he just ran out of the house) until his mom darted back into the foyer closet and grabbed him a long coat.

I was in the shower during a particularly strong aftershock, and had a momentary nightmare vision of winding up the same way.

Peeve: People who don't put hand towels back in the neat order in which they found them.  A minor thing, to be sure, but even if leaving them hanging as a crumpled mess is what they do at home, why do they not restore them to order at other people's homes?  It takes a few seconds to leave it as you found it.  (Which, yes, means it takes me only a few seconds to straighten up, but it makes me twitchy to walk into my bathroom and see it all haphazard -- I may have a problem.)

[bilgistic]

The local meterologist has been breaking into the programming all evening to give the viewers "Matthew Watch". I live a solid four-hour drive inland. It's been lightly drizzling today. I realize they probably get tired of "78 degrees and southwest winds at three miles per hour", but relax, folks.

[Moose135]

You need to find a better meteorologist, bilgistic.

[shapeshifter]

I share a lot of the peeves mentioned in the last few pages, plus one more: In the list of ingredients, "natural flavor." What is that supposed to mean? 

What really brought me here at 1:00am is an incident today that would be a peeve if it was ever done anywhere else by anyone else, though I can't imagine it. I was in the grocery store with one of those small carts (so I didn't  take up much room) and walking slowly because I am on round 10 of chemotherapy and still recovering from major abdominal surgery. Suddenly a person behind me runs over/into the heel of my shoe with her cart. She didn't apolgize, so I ignored it and kept going (at my snails' pace). Then she did the same thing to my other foot, like she thought it would make me go faster. So I turned around and said to her, "I have cancer and can't go very fast. Maybe you should go around me." She then rolled her eyes, made a dismissive gesture with her hand, said, "eh," and went around me. 

[zxy556575]

19 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I was in the grocery store with one of those small carts (so I didn't  take up much room) and walking slowly because I am on round 10 of chemotherapy and still recovering from major abdominal surgery. Suddenly a person behind me runs over/into the heel of my shoe with her cart. She didn't apologize, so I ignored it and kept going (at my snails' pace). Then she did the same thing to my other foot, like she thought it would make me go faster. So I turned around and said to her, "I have cancer and can't go very fast. Maybe you should go around me." She then rolled her eyes, made a dismissive gesture with her hand, said, "eh," and went around me. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! Walking slowly or not, you don't run your fucking cart into somebody's heels and not apologize! Then do it again! I'm glad you spoke up @shapeshifter, but still. What an ass.

[Guest]

Sorry about that @shapeshifter.  There is no circumstance where that is ok.

I have been noticing lately that grocery store manners are on the decline.  My last three trips to one store have had the trifecta of behavior that annoys me happen each time.  The parking in the fire lane blocking traffic and these are not people who need help loading or can't walk to the parking spaces.  Picking the X items or less line with nowhere near those items.  And the resume shopping mid check out.  Oh, and snacking on food that is priced by weight while standing in line.  No one ever apologizes.  No one even appears shamed anymore.

I actually realized the other day that its just that one store.  And generally the more affluent people in the area go there because its more updated and more expensive.  And you can tell by the cars in the lot.  I am coming to the conclusion that they just think they are special snowflakes and manners don't apply to them.  I think I'll switch stores.

Edited October 8, 2016 by ParadoxLost

[Sandman87]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

In the list of ingredients, "natural flavor." What is that supposed to mean? 

It means that it's a substance which can be found in nature...somewhere.

[shapeshifter]

5 hours ago, Sandman87 said:

It means that it's a substance which can be found in nature...somewhere.

which one may or may not be allergic to

 

5 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

Sorry about that @shapeshifter.  There is no circumstance where that is ok.

I have been noticing lately that grocery store manners are on the decline.  My last three trips to one store have had the trifecta of behavior that annoys me happen each time.  The parking in the fire lane blocking traffic and these are not people who need help loading or can't walk to the parking spaces.  Picking the X items or less line with nowhere near those items.  And the resume shopping mid check out.  Our and snacking on food that is priced by weight while standing in line.  No one ever apologizes.  No one even appears shamed anymore.

I actually realized the other day that its just that one store.  And generally the more affluent people in the area go there because its more updated and more expensive.  And you can tell by the cars in the lot.  I am coming to the conclusion that they just think they are special snowflakes and manners don't apply to them.  I think I'll switch stores.

It actually occurred in the Jewel, not in the fancy grocery next door. But there are only 2 grocery stores in town, so sometimes you go to the store that carries what you want.

Anyway, thanks for the outrage on my behalf, @lordonia and @ParadoxLost, it makes me feel better.

[DeLurker]

@shapeshifter - I'm so sorry that happened to you - especially when you are dealing with serious health issues.  And I admire your restraint - I suspect she would have gotten a boatload of expletives from me and I rarely say anything worse than dumbass or "oh shit".  I do say dumbass a lot though...just call me Red.  It is times like that I wish my brother was around.  He's very aware of what is going on around him at all times and naturally picks up on anyone's physical limitations.  He also has a son who was born with severe physical disabilities and has been in a wheelchair most of his life.  There's also a 95%+ chance that he says something to someone being a dumbass along the lines of what you experienced.  Somehow, having a third party notice and callout bad behavior shames the offender more than if the wronged person says something.

You shouldn't have to explain why their offensive behavior is offensive or justify why it is more than a little thing.  That so pisses me off.

[auntlada]

More people need to be like your brother, @DeLurker. It is true that third parties spea king up does more than the injured party saying something. It also makes the injured party feel better that someone is in his or her corner. I have often thought that we need to be teaching kids to stand up for each other against bullies in addition to telling adults because peer pressure does far more than adult pressure. And peer pressure doesn't have to be bad. It can be used for good.

i have the same issue with towels, @Bastet, only I live with people who can't hang them back up right, and only one has the excuse of being 5. The other thinks I am just being picky about the direction I want one hand towel to face, but it is because when I have washed my face and my eyes are closed when I reach for it, it opens up when it is hung that way.

[Blergh]

Shapeshifter,

   Utterly inexusable on that other shopper's part (and I'm trying to keep things clean by not calling her other names). Someone needs to ask her if she'd like it if someone treated her elderly mother or grandmother like that or even her elderly self in X number of years because, whilst there's no guarantees for ANY of us ,eventually age and/or health setbacks could cause her to ALSO have to walk very slowly if being able to walk at all. 

Oh and I say this as someone who's always walked FAR faster than most folks almost as soon as I learned to walk .

Edited October 8, 2016 by Blergh
digits and -ed resolved

[Bastet]

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Somehow, having a third party notice and callout bad behavior shames the offender more than if the wronged person says something.

That's definitely true, and one of the reasons I'm always piping up when I see something.  A friend of mine keeps hoping I'll be there when What Would You Do? is staging something (but I remind her I'd never sign the release, so me getting my Julia Sugarbaker on would never make air anyway).

I'm a fast walker, and an impatient person, so I have to check myself and remember it could very well be a shapeshifter-like scenario where the person can't help it, and the extra seconds it takes me to be able to get out from behind them are meaningless.  But, good god!  Even where it's some idiot too busy staring at their phone to move at a reasonable pace, never in my life would I ram them with my cart!  And to then keep up that attitude when told what the legitimate issue is?!  What an awful, awful person that was.

[TattleTeeny]

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Not so much a peeve as a random observation: wish I could find the joy that others out there seem to in pot. Over the years I've smoked it, injested it, drank it and all, yet despite my ongoing experimentations, the only thing it *ever* seems to do for me is turn me into a braindead zombie.

As someone who is high-strung, bad at relaxing, and easily annoyed, I wish I could find that joy as well (and I am sure other people also wish I could, haha!). Unfortunately, all it does is make me barf...immediately.
 

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My pet peeve is office buildings that don't allow space heaters(while simultaneously allowing people to keep 2 fans at their desks).  I freeze my butt off every day and no amount of complaining to building maintenance makes any difference.

OOOH, back a ways in this very forum, I went on a tear about this! Holy hell, man, it was insane. And the infection to my face from my skin breaking open around my nose due to aggressive AC has finally cleared up after months (and after finally changing desks to a better area, even after being told that the desk I asked about was for the IT dept's spare equipment).
 

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And I did not need to eat a sandwich and gaine weight to be warm (believe me)

UGH! Yup, that's what I got told too. I am 118 pounds with a big appetite; sandwiches are daily occurrences--and also no one's business and totally illogical in the here and now of ice-cold offices in which I had on a scarf, fingerless gloves, and a big old fleece with a HOOD...while sitting next to a space heater.

 

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I'm a fast walker, and an impatient person, so I have to check myself and remember it could very well be a shapeshifter-like scenario where the person can't help it, and the extra seconds it takes me to be able to get out from behind them are meaningless. 

Same here. But oh my god, when it's people I work with every day (with presumably no issues), oy, the fury I feel. I admit that I (apparently) walk extra-fast (not on purpose, I just do!) but when I'm behind them and forced to move at their pace, it literally feels like it's a joke--like someone exaggeratedly embellishing while imitating a slow walk (does that make sense?). It's like they're barely moving forward and more like kind of swaying side to side.

These are always the same fools who stop to chat in a doorway and do the tiniest of hip-shifts when someone wants to get by. That is, if they notice at all that another full-grown human is standing there hoping to pass through.

Edited October 8, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Maharincess]

21 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I share a lot of the peeves mentioned in the last few pages, plus one more: In the list of ingredients, "natural flavor." What is that supposed to mean? 

What really brought me here at 1:00am is an incident today that would be a peeve if it was ever done anywhere else by anyone else, though I can't imagine it. I was in the grocery store with one of those small carts (so I didn't  take up much room) and walking slowly because I am on round 10 of chemotherapy and still recovering from major abdominal surgery. Suddenly a person behind me runs over/into the heel of my shoe with her cart. She didn't apolgize, so I ignored it and kept going (at my snails' pace). Then she did the same thing to my other foot, like she thought it would make me go faster. So I turned around and said to her, "I have cancer and can't go very fast. Maybe you should go around me." She then rolled her eyes, made a dismissive gesture with her hand, said, "eh," and went around me. 

I felt my anger rise after the first time she hit your foot, it rose more after the second foot then when I finished reading I yelled out loud "YOU F****** BITCH".   I'm sorry that happened to you, I've said it before and I'll say it again and again, people suck. 

@Bastet, I have the same issue with towels.  My kids never put them back how they found them so I love going to their houses and messing up their towels. 

I too am constantly told that the reason I'm always cold us because I'm too skinny.  Would thsesthese same people tell an overweight person that the reason they're hot is because they're obese?  

Edited October 9, 2016 by Maharincess

[Bastet]

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I too am constantly told that the reason I'm always cold us because I'm too skinny.  Would thsesthese same people tell an overweight person that the reason they're hot is because they're obese?

Probably; I've overheard more "well, you're well-insulated" snark than the reverse.  As we've all said, people suck.

I tend to run warm, regardless of weight (though the degree does tend to fluctuate along with my weight), and my office has its own thermostat, so I don't share this problem, but I remember the days of communal space and it was not difficult to keep things at a temperature that was comfortable for all but the rare outliers.  For someone to need to be decked out as Nanook of the North indoors is ridiculous.

[Jac]

On 08/10/2016 at 0:57 AM, shapeshifter said:

I share a lot of the peeves mentioned in the last few pages, plus one more: In the list of ingredients, "natural flavor." What is that supposed to mean? 

Related to this peeve is my peeve about ingredients being listed as 'predominant flavour and other flavours.' What other flavours? What is their source? 

[DeLurker]

On 10/8/2016 at 9:57 AM, auntlada said:

More people need to be like your brother, @DeLurker. It is true that third parties spea king up does more than the injured party saying something. It also makes the injured party feel better that someone is in his or her corner. I

I am never quick enough to figure out something to say, but I have a death glare that I give out on such occasions.  Plus, I usually make eye contact with the injured party and give the look that says "Can you believe this?  The nerve!"

[rcc]

Yesterday morning I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. And yet again in line was a father hugging and patting his child on the head while looking to see if anyone was watching. This particular fellow had eggs, ham steak and bread and announced all too loudly that he was going to make his little girl breakfast. Always happens on a Saturday morning when fathers usually get their child for the weekend. I always wonder how many of these loving men have been ordered by the state to pay child support which might explain the obnoxious need for everyone to take note of such a wonderful thing he is doing.

[TattleTeeny]

That is so weird! My suspicious true-crime-obsessed brain would wonder if that overcompensation was because he kidnapped the kid!

[rcc]

When he announced to the store that he was going to make breakfast she said happily "Thank you daddy." So not kidnapped, but grateful that her daddy was doing something for her.

[backformore]

5 hours ago, rcc said:

When he announced to the store that he was going to make breakfast she said happily "Thank you daddy." So not kidnapped, but grateful that her daddy was doing something for her.

Yeah, I"m sure it's SUCH a big deal for him to actually FEED his own child!   Like, I assume the kid's mother does without looking for applause. 

[zxy556575]

One of the great things about information being available at the tap of a finger is that I no longer have to call a store or restaurant or government office to ask if they're open. Which makes it all the more aggravating when businesses can't be bothered to provide the correct information online. UPDATE YOUR HOURS OF OPERATION, FOOLS!

Drove to a restaurant on Saturday at 5:45 am that supposedly opened at 5:30 am but it was closed. Same thing last week for an urgent care center that said open 7 days a week but turns out that's 7 days except Sundays. Ditto for the CVS that changed from 24 hours to a midnight closing (although they eventually updated their website.)

Edited October 10, 2016 by lordonia

[bilgistic]

10 hours ago, backformore said:

Yeah, I"m sure it's SUCH a big deal for him to actually FEED his own child!   Like, I assume the kid's mother does without looking for applause. 

I've said this before--my boss calls it "daddy duty" when he has time alone with his kids (when "Wifey"--she comes up as that on his truck's touchscreen, so she's in his phone like that--has a Junior League meeting). I tell him, "No, it's not "daddy duty"; it's being their father."

I am projecting, since my own father was/is a deadbeat, but still.

[backformore]

Yeah, my brother-in-law used to say he was baby-sitting.  I would ask whose kids he was watching, and how much he charged.  It took a while, and me repeating the same questions each time he said it,  before he got the point.

[DeLurker]

It seems they did some re-ordering on the PtV formats/threads.  I am peeved that in Off Topic, the Everything Else sub-forum is not in alphabetical order.

[Bastet]

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"Wifey"--she comes up as that on his truck's touchscreen, so she's in his phone like that

Gross. 

[auntlada]

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

It seems they did some re-ordering on the PtV formats/threads.  I am peeved that in Off Topic, the Everything Else sub-forum is not in alphabetical order.

That's been bugging me, too. I first thought a thread I followed had been deleted because it was in the wrong spot on my screen, but I couldn't think of anything I was missing.

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

Gross. 

Yeahhh.... I got one here at work who refers to his wife as "the wife". 

I'm not a fan.

[zxy556575]

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

It seems they did some re-ordering on the PtV formats/threads.  I am peeved that in Off Topic, the Everything Else sub-forum is not in alphabetical order.

I've always wondered why the miscellaneous celebrity threads are under Everything Else TV when they're not TV-related.

(Okay, fine. Always wondered = makes my organizational skin itch.)

[DeLurker]

2 hours ago, lordonia said:

Always wondered = makes my organizational skin itch

Ha!  So funny!

My ex FIL was seriously OCD.  I used to threaten his beloved full wall bookshelf of first edition mysteries (most of them signed too) that I would replace one of his books and not tell him which one.  The prospect of some generic copy of the book hiding in the shelves was enough to break him into hives.  I also offered to reorganize them - shelve them by size or color...good times!

[topanga]

11 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

Ha!  So funny!

My ex FIL was seriously OCD.  I used to threaten his beloved full wall bookshelf of first edition mysteries (most of them signed too) that I would replace one of his books and not tell him which one.  The prospect of some generic copy of the book hiding in the shelves was enough to break him into hives.  I also offered to reorganize them - shelve them by size or color...good times!

My husband isn't quite OCD, but his closet organizational skills annoy me. Sometimes I'll hang up a pair of jeans with his dress pants. Or I'll hang up a few t-shirts and mix them in with his buttoned down oxfords. I've never seen him sweat, but within an hour, the rogue clothing is gone from his closet. 

 

5 hours ago, bilgistic said:

 

Hi, biglistic! (I changed my mind but can't erase the quote box for some reason). 

[Bastet]

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Sometimes I'll hang up a pair of jeans with his dress pants. Or I'll hang up a few t-shirts and mix them in with his buttoned down oxfords. I've never seen him sweat, but within an hour, the rogue clothing is gone from his closet.

I'd never last an hour.

[backformore]

1 hour ago, topanga said:

My husband isn't quite OCD, but his closet organizational skills annoy me. Sometimes I'll hang up a pair of jeans with his dress pants. Or I'll hang up a few t-shirts and mix them in with his buttoned down oxfords. I've never seen him sweat, but within an hour, the rogue clothing is gone from his closet. 

This kind of stuff was behind my declaration years ago - now that I'm working full-time, let's just each do our own laundry.

[MargeGunderson]

7 hours ago, DeLurker said:

It seems they did some re-ordering on the PtV formats/threads.  I am peeved that in Off Topic, the Everything Else sub-forum is not in alphabetical order.

Now I feel better that it wasn't just me! It's been bugging me.

[AgentRXS]

Today's justification for being a recluse:

Went to the movie theater with a friend. The movie theater must've had no more than 15 people for this viewing. Guess where these 2 teenage girls decide to sit? You guessed it. Right behind my friend and I. And one of them had the nerve to keep kicking my friend's seat and I could also feel it. I said very loudly "These 2 do not want to make me get up and sit behind them and kick because I will send them flying through the seat". They stopped. Then I had to get up and use the restroom and noticed that the guy in the first seat in their row had taken his shoes off and was slouched all the way down, and had his nasty bare feet hanging over the first seat in our row. I said excuse me twice, and he gave me a nasty look for disrupting his comfort. Like I should have his feet brushing me as I pass through. 

Then when we went out to eat I saw something that triggered a peeve in respect to how I was raised. My friend and I went to Benihanas. A woman and her 10 year old son were seated alone in a table across from us. During their whole meal, the son was wearing his Beats by Dr Dre headphones and playing on his phone the whole time. Never once spoke to his mother during the whole meal.  I could never get away with that a child. It used to be considered common respect for your parents to give them your attention during dinner, especially if they took you out to eat. I am really getting disgusted by the way some people are parenting their children these days.

[BookWoman56]

Depending on the kid, having the kid be silent for the meal could in fact be a welcome change for the mother. I will admit that my daughter and I often are on our phones when we go out to dinner, in large part because I much prefer reading while I am eating to sitting there watching someone else eat and trying to make conversation. Both of us are perfectly capable of having dinner and conversing with each other or with other people, but my default setting is that I want to read while eating and basically be left alone for at least 15 minutes. I have my kindle app on my phone and she has stuff on hers, so we sit in comfortable silence for a while and then talk toward the end of the meal. At that point, though, we are focused on the conversation and not on eating. I realize this is heresy to most people, but I have never understood the point of forced family togetherness at meals. 90% of the time, I want to be alone for meals. I make exceptions for holiday meals and other occasions, but I loathe the idea of forcing a conversation when I may not have anything I want to say and the other people may not either. My daughter and I talk to each other every day to check in on how work or classes went; we have intense conversations at least every couple of days about books, movies, politics, etc. We do those things, though, not at meal times but just when we are ready to talk to each other without the prop of a meal.

I do understand that in some settings, one is expected to combine eating with conversation. I will go to lunch with friends and talk to them while we eat. I will go to the occasional business lunch or dinner and talk. I can deal with it on an occasional basis, but to do it every day would drive me nuts. Maybe this ties in to my general dislike of just making conversation as opposed to talking to someone because that person and I have things to say that will interest the other person. I just have zero desire to do the traditional family meal routine every single day.

[topanga]

7 hours ago, backformore said:

This kind of stuff was behind my declaration years ago - now that I'm working full-time, let's just each do our own laundry.

I know, and we do! I actually went into his dresser drawers to pull out t-shirts to hang in his closet.

I'm curious about which side of the aisle you call home. Are you ultra-organized, or you okay with t-shirts and dress shirts living together in perfect harmony?

[backformore]

11 minutes ago, topanga said:

I know, and we do! I actually went into his dresser drawers to pull out t-shirts to hang in his closet.

I'm curious about which side of the aisle you call home. Are you ultra-organized, or you okay with t-shirts and dress shirts living together in perfect harmony?

My natural tendency is to be a slob.   I've tamed it, I force myself to be neater.  While I LIKE things to be organized, I don't NEED them to be like that, not enough to do the organizing.  Mostly I'm a procrastinator.  I put stuff down to "put away later", and sometimes "later" never arrives.   My closet is a mess - I lost weight, gained weight, trying to lose again, so I've got all kinds of clothes in all sizes, jammed in wherever they fit.  "Organizing my closet"  is one of those things on my to-do list that never gets done.

[topanga]

7 minutes ago, backformore said:

My natural tendency is to be a slob.   I've tamed it, I force myself to be neater.  While I LIKE things to be organized, I don't NEED them to be like that, not enough to do the organizing.  Mostly I'm a procrastinator.  I put stuff down to "put away later", and sometimes "later" never arrives.   My closet is a mess - I lost weight, gained weight, trying to lose again, so I've got all kinds of clothes in all sizes, jammed in wherever they fit.  "Organizing my closet"  is one of those things on my to-do list that never gets done.

I'm naturally a slob, too, but I did enjoy the book, "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up." I haven't discovered the magic part of it yet, but the book did help me organize my closet and dresser drawers. I liked the concept of looking at all of my clothing, touching each piece, and deciding whether it brought me joy or not. It helped me get rid of a lot of clothing I was holding onto, not because I liked it or liked the way I looked in it, but because I got it on sale or got it as a gift. It was hard to give away so much clothing, but that was over a year ago, and I haven't missed any of it.

 

2 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

I do understand that in some settings, one is expected to combine eating with conversation. I will go to lunch with friends and talk to them while we eat. I will go to the occasional business lunch or dinner and talk. I can deal with it on an occasional basis, but to do it every day would drive me nuts. Maybe this ties in to my general dislike of just making conversation as opposed to talking to someone because that person and I have things to say that will interest the other person. I just have zero desire to do the traditional family meal routine every single day.

We only eat together at the table a few times a week because of our busy schedules. And, I'll be honest, because we sit in front of the TV and watch football 3 nights a week. So when we do sit down together, we make it a point not to read or play with our devices during the meal. It's hard because I love to read while eating, but it forces us to look at each other and make conversation. Ultimately, we all enjoy it.

But I hear ya. I hate eating lunch with co-workers for that very reason. During my lunch hour (or half hour), I really don't want to talk to anybody. Especially with co-workers, when I have to spend mental energy thinking about what I'm going to say and how I'm going to respond to things they say. I talk all day, for Christ sake. I need a break.

[NutMeg]

Yeah, me, I like dinner with family, no phone allowed. Maybe it's how I grew up, lunch and dinner together, and sometimes it was wild, but still, it was our routine. It's so embedded in me that I don't ever grasp the concept of people from the same family never eating together or of each being on their phone.

I work from home, so I'm (usually, if no crazy deadline) available to talk about school stuff, which is terrific because right out of school is when the immediate school stuff pours out. Dinner, however, is a great time, during which sharing over good food makes us all more open to sharing deeper stuff, whether that means dissecting why a schoolmate is having a hard time, me apologizing for my short temper because this tight deadline is really getting to me, on my son opening up on his social life/thoughts about university. Best moment of the day, because we all leave the rest aside (even though we might talk about it) and just ARE there with each other.

Lunch with coworkers? He, days I wasn't up to talk, I'd just get a sandwich to eat at my desk and read newspapers, or go window-shopping (I used to have this awesome act, first window shop and see what you like in many shops, then go back and try on the things you like, then the third time zoom in and buy what you like. Despite what salespeople said, I never regretted not buying right there and then :) 

Still, lunch with coworkers was often nice and even informative, I learned a lot from the bond guys when I was pure equity, or from my friends in other departments working in so many various fields (one was in charge of the art collection of the bank I worked in, talking with her once in a while was AMAZING!!!). Of course, I rarely ate with my next desk neighbours - only did when we had things to discuss, when none of us had other plans or/and when the weather was so bad that we wanted to stay in if nothing uncancellable outside. That way, we mostly enjoyed our lunches together, because they happened so rarely :)        

Edited October 11, 2016 by NutMeg

[DeLurker]

14 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

During their whole meal, the son was wearing his Beats by Dr Dre headphones and playing on his phone the whole time. Never once spoke to his mother during the whole meal. 

This can be a two way street though.  One night when I was having dinner with my co-worker/friend another co-worker/friend was out to dinner with her daughter (probably 10 at the time).  Our Blackberries keep going off as our other friend is chitchatting with us - to the point where we couldn't have a conversation or really even eat uninterrupted.  I finally text her that she would have a kitten if her daughter dared whip out the Nintendo while at the table with her, she was doing exactly that with her Blackberry.  Her daughter got to order whatever she wanted off the dessert menu that night!

If we're at home, which is 98% of the time, it isn't unusual for my daughter to ask if she can get a book or me to be reading at the table at dinner.  I don't like the tv on during dinner usually, but if there is something special on, we'll just eat in the family room while watching (providing the food is manageable that way).

11 hours ago, topanga said:

Are you ultra-organized, or you okay with t-shirts and dress shirts living together in perfect harmony?

I need some clutter about - I want to see the book I am reading, or my daughter's sketch pad, or some other evidence of life around me.  There area few things that I get oddly OCD about, but I fight it so I don't end up overly restricting the world around me.  I know when I put the dishes away, the label printed on the underside of the dish will all be lined up.  I know when I put the dishes away at my Mom's, the little decorative designs outlining the plates will all be lined up.