Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[AuntieL]

Waves to Maharincess. You're not the oldest. I wish I could help; fortunately for me that wasn't one of my issues. I did however find out that menopause brain is a real thing. My pet peeve of the day - yesterday I leave work early because I feel like crap. Put on my Jammie's and sit on my couch with the remote.   Swear to whomever,  every show I turned on had something to do with a dead mother.  Why was that annoying, you ask? Because  I was trying to ignore the fact that it was also the fifth anniversary of my mothers passing. I was close to my mom. Dear universe , if I wanted to deal with it I would've done so. Thanks loads. 

[Maharincess]

Thanks @harrie and @AuntieL.  This is the only symptom I've had except the occasional hot flash so I should consider myself lucky but I don't, it sucks.  I agree that the treatments don't seem worth the bother so instead I'll just bitch about it.   I just don't know what to do about it. 

[backformore]

6 hours ago, auntlada said:

You guys are not encouraging. I'm going to have to get bifocals next time I go to the eye doctor, and I want progressive ones rather than ones with lines, but I already have issues with depth perception.

Don't be dissuaded.  Progressives take time to get used to.  More so with me, because I have a strong prescription.   After a few weeks, you'll be fine. 

[backformore]

3 hours ago, Maharincess said:

 I think I'm the oldest woman here at 51 but have any of you women ever had this and what can be done for it? 

NO, you're not the oldest.

A couple of links :  Menopause Goddess Blog  A lot of info

Hot Flash Pillow  A cooling product

outlast bedding  This is a page from a website that has products just for women gong through menopause and "temperature incompatibility"

[bilgistic]

I'm 42 and pre-menopausal, but I wake up some nights/mornings completely drenched in sweat. It'll be 60 degrees in my room because I barely run the heat, but I still sweat like a goat. I have hypothyroidism, but it's monitored and medicated. I am almost always warm or hot. Have you had your thyroid hormone levels tested, @Maharincess?

[Maharincess]

3 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I'm 42 and pre-menopausal, but I wake up some nights/mornings completely drenched in sweat. It'll be 60 degrees in my room because I barely run the heat, but I still sweat like a goat. I have hypothyroidism, but it's monitored and medicated. I am almost always warm or hot. Have you had your thyroid hormone levels tested, @Maharincess?

I actually just had my labs done last month. My thyroid and everything is fine. It just sucks. Even with my mattress pad my mattress is starting to get messed up. I have new sheets that I'm dying to use but haven't even opened yet because I don't want to gross them up. 

[BookWoman56]

I'll join the chorus of women noting they are older than 51. However, I can offer no advice on night sweats because the only times I've ever woken up sweaty have been either because I have had a serious fever or the thermostat needs adjusting because of a heat wave. I lucked out somehow in the menopause sweepstakes. I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 40, and despite warnings that the procedure would likely move me into early menopause, I have never had a single symptom of menopause. I do empathize, though; a few years ago a colleague was going through menopause in her early 40s, and you could literally see her having hot flashes during meetings occasionally. She was miserable with those for over a year.

My pet peeve for the day has to do with conversation skills. I work with a few people who do not seem to understand how conversation works: You say something (a couple of sentences or so), you pause so the other person can respond, and then you continue with your own additional remarks. Lather; rinse; repeat. Yet my colleagues (all of whom are over 40, so no blaming the younger generation here) do this thing where they essentially give a speech for 5 or 10 minutes, rambling all over the place yet never pausing long enough for anyone else to chime in. Then when they finally shut up for 30 seconds, I'm having to say, "Uh, regarding that comment you made at the beginning of the discussion 5 minutes ago, you need to be aware of X, Y, and Z." And by that point, the original speaker has covered several other topics, so we have to circle around back to the earlier topic. I understand full well that there are times someone needs to make an announcement and doesn't want to take questions/comments until the end.  But this pattern is there all the time, whether it's a personal conversation or business conversation. 

[BookWoman56]

My very first double post, and no idea why it happened.

Edited January 7, 2017 by BookWoman56

[ABay]

Every time I feel slightly feverish, I pray it's a hot flash. Let's just get it over with, already. Both of my sisters had gone through menopause by the time they were my age and I'm still hoping every box of pads is the last I'll have to buy. So pet peeve: human biology.

[bubbls]

13 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Ok men, don't read this.  

We've been talking about how cold it is.  My old lady peeve is god damn night sweats. My bed is in front of a big window, it's been in the low 30s at night and I sleep with my window wide open. The poor cat gets so cold she burrows under the blankets. So I sleep under a huge window in freezing temperatures, wearing just my underwear and covered in just a sheet and I still wake up drenched every. damn. day.  It sucks and I'm so friggin sick of it.  Nothing I try has helped.  I have to change my sheets and mattress pad damn near every day along with my pillows and body pillow.  I think I'm the oldest woman here at 51 but have any of you women ever had this and what can be done for it? 

Ok men, you can read again.

My gyn suggested dhea. It worked. It also took care of the awful hot flashes for the most part. I used both the cream and the pills and both were effective, however, the pills caused me to break out. YMMV. 

 

So here is my pet peeve of the day-hot flashes in the shower under hot water. Weirdest feeling ever!! I hardly get them any more, but it almost put me off showering and nobody wants that. 

Edited January 7, 2017 by bubbls

[bubbls]

7 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

 

My pet peeve for the day has to do with conversation skills. I work with a few people who do not seem to understand how conversation works: You say something (a couple of sentences or so), you pause so the other person can respond, and then you continue with your own additional remarks. Lather; rinse; repeat. Yet my colleagues (all of whom are over 40, so no blaming the younger generation here) do this thing where they essentially give a speech for 5 or 10 minutes, rambling all over the place yet never pausing long enough for anyone else to chime in. 

My poor husband has been cursed his whole life with co-workers like this. He refers to his most recent one as Uncle Rico from Napolean Dynamite because not only is he a self-absorbed talker who won't shut up, he also lives in his glorious past and thinks everyone else is interested in all the glorious details. 

[Moose135]

Available through Amazon.com:

[DisneyBoy]

Quote

I will not call customer service.  I will not. The regular line takes you to a call center in Asia.  That ends in yelling.

Yes, oh Lord YES, I hate overseas calll centres. Sweet people, massive communication gap. 

[Wiendish Fitch]

10 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

 

My pet peeve for the day has to do with conversation skills. I work with a few people who do not seem to understand how conversation works: You say something (a couple of sentences or so), you pause so the other person can respond, and then you continue with your own additional remarks. Lather; rinse; repeat. Yet my colleagues (all of whom are over 40, so no blaming the younger generation here) do this thing where they essentially give a speech for 5 or 10 minutes, rambling all over the place yet never pausing long enough for anyone else to chime in. Then when they finally shut up for 30 seconds, I'm having to say, "Uh, regarding that comment you made at the beginning of the discussion 5 minutes ago, you need to be aware of X, Y, and Z." And by that point, the original speaker has covered several other topics, so we have to circle around back to the earlier topic. I understand full well that there are times someone needs to make an announcement and doesn't want to take questions/comments until the end.  But this pattern is there all the time, whether it's a personal conversation or business conversation. 

I had a co-worker who just loved to interrupt people. When I say "interrupt", I don't mean politely jumping in mid-conversation, or innocently cutting someone off when they both spoke at the same time, I mean willfully, rudely, unapologetically stopping you mid-sentence. What she had to say was so important, had to take precedent over what anyone else had to say, and we worthless peons had to learn to shut up so she could be free to blather on. 

Regional pet peeve: I live in the South, and while there is plenty to like here, I'm sick to my bones of Southern pomposity. "Southern Literature"? Give me a fucking break, you don't see Pacific Northwest Literature or Hawaiian literature clogging bookstores. It's fine to be proud of where you're from, but when you start proclaiming that your corner of the world is superior to all others, then we're going to have to have some words.

And I have no use for anyone who refers to the Civil War as the "War of Northern Aggression", even in jest. The South fired the first shot, they weren't exactly handing out mint juleps during that time. The North won, you lost, get over it, you have no stake at all over something that happened 150 years ago.

Edited January 7, 2017 by Wiendish Fitch

[backformore]

14 minutes ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

Regional pet peeve: I live in the South, and while there is plenty to like here, I'm sick to my bones of Southern pomposity. "Southern Literature"? Give me a fucking break, you don't see Pacific Northwest Literature or Hawaiian literature clogging bookstores. It's fine to be proud of where you're from, but when you start proclaiming that your corner of the world is superior to all others, then we're going to have to have some words.

LOL!  You mean all those cooking shows where the contestants proclaim that "Southern"  is superior to all cuisines?   It always makes me think of Paula Deen and the exaggerated way she pronounced "I'm from the SAAA- outh" 

And I'm not dissing the food, just the way it's given a reverence by some that no other style of cooking is given.

[Wiendish Fitch]

Exactly. Yes, Southern food is wonderful... as is German food, Chinese food, Mexican food, and anything else that cheers my discriminating palate.

[PRgal]

Two things:

- Adults (mostly late Gen Xers and Millennials) who introduce their children to me as "Cynthia" (my first name) rather than Ms. Cynthia, Ms. (or Mrs.) Mylastname or "Auntie" Cynthia (calling a non-relative female "Auntie" is quite common in many East Asian cultures.  MOST East Asian Gen Xers and Millennials do this, but not all).  What's the deal with that?  I never called YOUR PARENTS by their first names growing up, so why are your kids?

- Food pushing (mostly from Boomer-aged adults or those even older).  VERY COMMON in my culture (Chinese) and in my husband's (Jewish).  If I'm not hungry, then I'm not hungry.  And if I'm asking about an ingredient, it could be a food sensitivity, so don't tell me the dish is made with "good stuff."  I might not be able to eat that "good stuff." 

Edited January 7, 2017 by PRgal

[Bastet]

5 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Adults (mostly late Gen Xers and Millennials) who introduce their children to me as "Cynthia" (my first name) rather than Ms. Cynthia, Ms. (or Mrs.) Mylastname or "Auntie" Cynthia (calling a non-relative female "Auntie" is quite common in many East Asian cultures.  MOST East Asian Gen Xers and Millennials do this, but not all).  What's the deal with that?  I never called YOUR PARENTS by their first names growing up, so why are your kids?

I don't like that, either.  I should be address as Ms. [Last Name].  I will promptly invite you to call me by my first name, but don't jump right over that step!

[PRgal]

20 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I don't like that, either.  I should be address as Ms. [Last Name].  I will promptly invite you to call me by my first name, but don't jump right over that step!

Especially from children!!!  And their parents should know better, too.

Edited January 7, 2017 by PRgal

[auntlada]

I generally introduce people to my child as Mr. or Mrs. Last Name (or Dr. if it fits, as in the case of our agency director) unless it is someone we are very good friends with, then it is Mr. or Mrs. First Name. Those people are usually my age or younger. Occasionally I do the second with older people because it seems to fit. His Sunday school teacher, for instance, gets that, even though she is probably in her 70s. It just fit her. Possibly because she is from Mississippi and taught kindergarten. If I don't know how other kids address someone, I tend to go with last name because I don't want to offend anyone. Basically I am never sure which to go with, and I am probably confusing my child because there is no rhyme or reason to how I do it other than feeling.

The only one who doesn't get that is my best friend, and she gets Aunt First Name because she has no siblings and her ex-husband doesn't either, so we are her kids' aunt and uncle. Even though we have brothers and sisters, it seemed like she should be an aunt also.

[Moose135]

My new (as of a couple of months now) neighbors have two kids, about 6 and 8, I think.  Since my last name could be tough for them, they have taken to calling me "Mr. John".

[Maharincess]

I don't care if kids call me by my first name, I actual prefer it.  I don't see the big deal if a kid is introduced to me using my first name. Why does it matter?  It just seems kind of stuck up (that may be the wrong word) to expect anybody to call me Mrs or Ms.  

What I really hate is when people make their son or daughter in law call them by Mr or Mrs. These people are part of the family yet are made to use Mr and Mrs. 

[Bastet]

I think it's courteous to, upon being introduced to someone, address them as Ms./Mr./Dr. unless or until you're invited to address them by their first name (e.g. "This is Joe Blow" should result in "Nice to meet you, Mr. Blow," not "Nice to meet you, Joe," and then it's up to him whether to say, "Please, call me Joe").  The flip side is I do think, in general, it's snooty to insist upon being addressed formally by people with whom you have an ongoing social relationship, but I understand those who maintain the traditional titles when it comes to children and elders.  Especially because that's something highly influenced by generation, region, and culture.

The in-law situation -- if I heard someone address their mother-in-law as Ms. or Mrs. Whatever rather than by her first name, I'd jump to the conclusion they have a strained relationship.  But, hopping all the way to the other end of the spectrum, people calling their in-laws "Mom" and "Dad" is not something I'd ever be comfortable with (either addressing my in-laws that way or having a husband address my parents that way). 

Edited January 8, 2017 by Bastet

[Angeltoes]

In the 50's, my parents lived in small town America where half the town was related and everybody knew everybody.  My mother sent my father to the local drugstore to buy her some tampons.  He put them on the counter and the woman behind the counter bellows,"Oh, I see Margie's having her period!"  My father didn't care but my mother was annoyed when she heard about it.  

I also believe that kids addressing adults as Miss or Mr First Name/Last Name is just teaching them to be respectful.  My grandkids' friends call me Mimi since that's what the grandkids call me, which I like.  My grandkids call family friends Aunt/Uncle First Name.  When we were kids, it was considered cheeky to address an adult by their first name.  

[DeLurker]

My kids have always called adults by Mr/Ms X, Ma'am or Sir unless otherwise specifically requested by the adult to call them something else which was the common approach when I was growing up. 

When I got to my 20s, my best friend's Mom told me I could call her by her first name but Mrs. So and So always came out.  It felt very unnatural to call her by her first name.

[auntlada]

2 hours ago, DeLurker said:

My kids have always called adults by Mr/Ms X, Ma'am or Sir unless otherwise specifically requested by the adult to call them something else which was the common approach when I was growing up. 

When I got to my 20s, my best friend's Mom told me I could call her by her first name but Mrs. So and So always came out.  It felt very unnatural to call her by her first name.

My mom can always tell when she meets former students because they call her Mrs. So and So. She often can't remember who they are (teaching for 25-plus years will do that, plus she retired 20 years ago), but she always knows they're former students because no one else calls her that.

[Maharincess]

The only person who calls me Ms. is my primary care doctor and I keep asking her to call me by my first name. I just have the mindset that unless I'm a teacher I don't care if I'm called by my first name. I just don't see why it matters, as long as somebody is speaking nicely to me what do I care what name they call me?  It's my name, I don't care if somebody is 2 or 92, they can all call me by my name. I just think to insist somebody calls you Mrs it kind of says that they're beneath you in some way and aren't important enough to call you by your first name. I wouldn't do that to anybody, child or adult. 

Just my own stupid opinion. 

Edited January 8, 2017 by Maharincess

[zxy556575]

4 hours ago, Bastet said:

But, hopping all the way to the other end of the spectrum, people calling their in-laws "Mom" and "Dad" is not something I'd ever be comfortable with (either addressing my in-laws that way or having a husband address my parents that way). 

That's the height of social awkwardness for me, too. Everybody Loves Raymond did an episode about it and I was uncomfortable just watching! I cannot call anyone except my birth parents mom and dad. Cannot.

3 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

When we were kids, it was considered cheeky to address an adult by their first name.

It was definitely Not Allowed in our house. My mother's best friend kept insisting we call her Anne, but even that was a no go and my sister and I would earn a swat if we ever slipped. Weirdly enough, after my parents divorced, my mother would instruct us to call her boyfriends Uncle FirstName. I guess sleeping with them meant they were family. ;)

[BookWoman56]

I think it's polite to address people according to their preference, whether it's by first name or more formal title. That said, I come from a long line of people who prefer to be addressed by first names rather than by "mom," "dad," "grandma," etc. My grandmother was very insistent that all of us grandchildren address her by her first name, and it was the same with my grandfather. My other siblings and I addressed our parents by their first name, and everybody was fine with that. I did understand that other adults might not prefer that, and it seemed normal to me to switch back and forth depending on how each person preferred to be addressed. When talking about my parents to other people, I would generally refer to them as "my mother" or "my father" rather than first name or "mom," which I've never used with anybody. My first mother-in-law proved to be a challenge, though. She did not want to be called by her formal title of Mrs. So-and-So. She did not want to be called by her first name. She wanted me instead to call her "mom," and I just could not bring myself to do it. So I just quit using any sort of name when talking to her.

I do find it amusing when teaching college classes online, that some students address me strictly by first name, some as "Ms. BookWoman56," and some as "Professor BookWoman56." A few have even done some slightly weird (to me) combination and called me "Professor [first name]."

[Moose135]

I called my late mother-in-law "Mom" even after the wife and I split up, but then, she was "Mom" to just about everyone.

Even now, in my 50s, when I see the parents of friends I grew up with or who are friends of my parents from when I was growing up, I still call them "Mr. xxx" or "Mrs. xxx".

[Maharincess]

I have at least 20 people who call me mom or mama.  All of my kids friends have always called me mom. I was more of a mother to two of them then their own mothers were. I like when they call me mom.  I call my mother in law ma.   My daughter's best friend from childhood calls me mom and my daughter calls her mom mom.  When they were younger, they said her mom was the one who bought them stuff and I'm the mom who loved them.  I think I got the better title. 

I still think that making somebody call you Ms or Mrs says that you think you're better than them and how dare they address you by your first name.

When I did grandparents day at the kids school I let all of the kids call me by my first name. 

Edited January 8, 2017 by Maharincess

[Mountainair]

We are getting ready to travel out of town for my cousins wedding. She's 21, graduated early with a good degree, very religious, etc... (My kid is in the wedding but I joke with my husband that this is a "for sex" marriage). Anyway, she and her three siblings refer to their mom as "mommy" which really irks me for some reason. 

We all shared the same great grandma and her name was "mommy" to all of us.  My mom refers to her inlaws (my grandparents) as "Momma" and "Daddy". 

I refer to my own in laws by their first name. I've known them for 18 years (since I was 15) and they were as much parents to me as my own were. I still couldn't call them any name other then their given names. 

[Maharincess]

My 32 year old daughter only calls me mommy or mama when one of us is sick or hurt. The entire 2 and a half months I was in the hospital she called me mommy. I think it was comforting to her.  She had never seen me sick or hurt before and I think calling me mommy comforted her in some way.  If she's sick she always says she wants her mama. 

[PRgal]

6 hours ago, Maharincess said:

I don't care if kids call me by my first name, I actual prefer it.  I don't see the big deal if a kid is introduced to me using my first name. Why does it matter?  It just seems kind of stuck up (that may be the wrong word) to expect anybody to call me Mrs or Ms.  

What I really hate is when people make their son or daughter in law call them by Mr or Mrs. These people are part of the family yet are made to use Mr and Mrs. 

Not everyone feels this way, and it's better to err on the conservative side.  Don't assume.  Adults shouldn't say "kids, please say 'hello' to Cynthia and Adam" (Adam is my husband's first name) just because they (the adults) are close friends with either one or the both of us.  I see this MORE with multigeneration Canadians than those who are children of immigrants or immigrants themselves.  Like I said, my Asian friends (99.9% of whom have at least ONE parent born in the old country (or were born there themselves)) nearly ALWAYS ask their kids to call us Auntie Cynthia and Uncle Adam.

[annzeepark914]

I always liked the southern (USA) custom of kids calling friends of their parents either Miss (first name) or Mr (first name).  It showed respect to the adult but it also sounded sweet and friendly.

[bilgistic]

This might be paranoia, my my boyfriends' (successive, not concurrent) mothers have always disliked me. If I've dated your son for six months, I think we can drop the formality and I can start calling you by your first name. If it's three years later, and you've not "permitted" me to call you anything but Mrs. Boyfriend's-Last-Name, you've got a superiority complex. I played the respect game, and I understand the rules. At some point, you have to let me move ahead one space.

Hmm. But then, since I'm still single, those boys'/guys' mothers' attitudes were either red flags or signs that I truly don't belong with anyone. OK, then.

My mother will meet someone and after they say, "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Bilgistic's-Last-Name," she'll immediately say, "Oh, call me "Bilgistic's-Mom's-First-Name!". As it should be.

And this has reminded me of a job I had 15 years ago at a non-profit. I worked with a board of directors of mostly wealthy old white men that met several times a year, and these muckety-mucks couldn't be bothered to RSVP for the meetings. I had to call the holdouts to ask if they were going to be at the meetings. One call, I said, "Hello, Mr. Richman; I'm calling to verify whether you'll be at the board meeting on Tuesday." He bellowed back, "It's DOCTOR Richman." A thousand pardons. Still need to know about the meeting.

I do get him wanting recognition for his years of schooling and career, and as a young woman support staffer, I was an easy target, but a big problem in our world is people thinking they are better than others.

Edited January 8, 2017 by bilgistic

[bilgistic]

He has since had a road named after him.

[Maharincess]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

Not everyone feels this way, and it's better to err on the conservative side.  Don't assume.  Adults shouldn't say "kids, please say 'hello' to Cynthia and Adam" (Adam is my husband's first name) just because they (the adults) are close friends with either one or the both of us.  I see this MORE with multigeneration Canadians than those who are children of immigrants or immigrants themselves.  Like I said, my Asian friends (99.9% of whom have at least ONE parent born in the old country (or were born there themselves)) nearly ALWAYS ask their kids to call us Auntie Cynthia and Uncle Adam.

I say exactly that because everyone I know is the same way. We don't care.  In the grand scheme of life, what somebody calls me ranks at the very bottom. As long as somebody treats me with kindness and respect, I couldn't care less what I'm called. 

[Bastet]

People who flip out about not being addressed as Dr. amuse me.  Mind you, if I know you have a doctorate, that's how I'll address you unless you request otherwise, but if I don't and use Mr. or Ms. instead?  No offense intended, and calm yourself.  The reason I'm particularly amused by this is that, as a lawyer, I have a doctoral degree, too.  But for various longstanding reasons and murky professional conduct rules, we don't go by Dr.  So I simultaneously sort of understand the "I earned that degree" impulse but mostly just laugh at the insecurity that one needs others to acknowledge it and huffs when they don't.

(In an amusing - and confusing - development, one of my [non-lawyer] friends is highly offended at lawyers not being addressed as Doctor, and is on some sort of one-woman mission, referring to me as Dr. [Last Name].)

[backformore]

54 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

I say exactly that because everyone I know is the same way. We don't care.  In the grand scheme of life, what somebody calls me ranks at the very bottom. As long as somebody treats me with kindness and respect, I couldn't care less what I'm called. 

The only thing I never liked is that my husband's family addressed grandparents by the Polish names for Grandma and Grandpa.   The had all been in this country more than   a few generations, none had ever been to Poland, and none of them had any clue how to SPELL those crazy names. so - 5 generations, (hubby's grandparents,  parents, him and his siblings, their kids, and now THEIR kids) none of whom speak Polish, want to use the polish names for grandparents.   I guess I didn't care for it because being of part-Polish ancestry is such a small part of our identity.   Because it's my husband's family, I said I'd go along with it if he wanted, but thankfully, he wanted my kids to call his parents Grandpa and grandma.   (or, in one kid's case, Gumma and Gumpa)

[Maharincess]

6 minutes ago, backformore said:

The only thing I never liked is that my husband's family addressed grandparents by the Polish names for Grandma and Grandpa.   The had all been in this country more than   a few generations, none had ever been to Poland, and none of them had any clue how to SPELL those crazy names. so - 5 generations, (hubby's grandparents,  parents, him and his siblings, their kids, and now THEIR kids) none of whom speak Polish, want to use the polish names for grandparents.   I guess I didn't care for it because being of part-Polish ancestry is such a small part of our identity.   Because it's my husband's family, I said I'd go along with it if he wanted, but thankfully, he wanted my kids to call his parents Grandpa and grandma.   (or, in one kid's case, Gumma and Gumpa)

When my daughter was first pregnant I constantly had people asking what the baby would call me.  They seemed shocked when I said "grandma", I'm their grandma so what else would they call me?  I'm not a Mimi or Nana, I'm just plain old grandma. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be called Nana or whatever, it's just not me. My dad was from Norway and people thought I should use the Norwegian word for grandma, my mom was Native American so other people thought I should use something from that side of my family.   Nah, I like being plain old grandma.  Their other grandma wanted to be called granny and when somebody mentions grandpa the kids ask " grandma's grandpa or granny's grandpa?". 

[backformore]

And the polish word for grandfather is "dziadzia"  and pronounced something like  "JA -Jee"  and grandmother is Babcia or Buscia.   No way is anyone calling me that, ever!  no offense to anyone who likes it, it's fine if you have a strong connection to the heritage, I just don't. 

@Maharincess "granny"  always reminds me of the Granny on Beverly Hillbillies. 

My son once told a teacher he had two grandmas - Black Grandma and White Grandma.  She looked surprised, since we are very clearly a white family.  I had to explain that he had one grandma with white hair, and one with Black hair, and that was how he kept straight who was who.

[backformore]

Watching a local show, "Check Please", where they have regular people review restaurants, I was very annoyed at one guest.  In describing the ambience of the restaurant, she talked about the other customers who were there - all sort , young people on dates, families, and even some OLD PEOPLE!  Then she gushed "I love old people!  they're so CUTE!"  and described one particularly "adorable"  old couple sharing food.  Now, maybe it's because I recently had a birthday, and I'm sensitive to the issue, but really?   Old people are not puppies!  I would hate like hell to be out with my husband and have some young idiot think we were "So Adorable"  because we were - eating!  in a restaurant! At our age!   AWWWW! 

[Jaded]

1 hour ago, backformore said:

Watching a local show, "Check Please", where they have regular people review restaurants, I was very annoyed at one guest.  In describing the ambience of the restaurant, she talked about the other customers who were there - all sort , young people on dates, families, and even some OLD PEOPLE!  Then she gushed "I love old people!  they're so CUTE!"  and described one particularly "adorable"  old couple sharing food.  Now, maybe it's because I recently had a birthday, and I'm sensitive to the issue, but really?   Old people are not puppies!  I would hate like hell to be out with my husband and have some young idiot think we were "So Adorable"  because we were - eating!  in a restaurant! At our age!   AWWWW! 

That kinda makes me feel bad about how I joke about Dr.Ruth being so tiny and cute that people could put her in their pockets. I love the way she uses a box to put her feet on when she appears on TV shows because they don't touch the floor. It's always been hilarious to me that she could make grown men like David Letterman blush and get bashful when she'd appear on their programs. 

[Maharincess]

2 hours ago, backformore said:

Watching a local show, "Check Please", where they have regular people review restaurants, I was very annoyed at one guest.  In describing the ambience of the restaurant, she talked about the other customers who were there - all sort , young people on dates, families, and even some OLD PEOPLE!  Then she gushed "I love old people!  they're so CUTE!"  and described one particularly "adorable"  old couple sharing food.  Now, maybe it's because I recently had a birthday, and I'm sensitive to the issue, but really?   Old people are not puppies!  I would hate like hell to be out with my husband and have some young idiot think we were "So Adorable"  because we were - eating!  in a restaurant! At our age!   AWWWW! 

I hate that too and I hate when a cashier asks an obviously older person for their ID or calls them " young lady". I don't know why but it really rubs me the wrong way.  I'm going to have to think of a good smart ass comrbak for when I'm elderly in case I get that. 

[ABay]

When I receive email from students addressing me as Mrs. Bay, I include a lengthy sig file in the reply which indicates I am Dr. Bay and have a string of degrees. Because in my profession that is an important distinction in terms of respect, rank, and salary. I call a dean Dean and the Dean calls me Dr. And also it just pisses me off to be addressed as Mrs instead of Ms. Mrs? Really? Marital status has noting to do with my work. Outside of work, I don't use the Dr although I'm still paying off the loans and will be until I die, unless I feel like I'm being patronized because I'm a woman. Students I've met with in person usually address me by my first name, and that's fine because that's how I introduce myself.

[Blergh]

backformore and Maharincess,

 

 I totally agree! This also used to bug my late father when they'd talk to him like he was five years old (and my mother doesn't like it either but she was always more tactful than he about others' being patronizing). I know that they may LOOK like they're getting frail (and, yes I know that many like my parents HAVE gotten frail) but outward frailty doesn't mean that become total puddin' heads!  Well, I  guess I have a few decades to work up a repertoire -though the other day I actually GOT a senior discount at the movies. My relief in not paying full price overruled my pride in my actual age and appearance so I just had mixed emotions accepting it.

[Jaded]

I had a threapist when I was in elementary school who started off wanting me to call her Ms. Sally (not her real first name) then when I was about 10 she all of a sudden tried to get me to start calling her Dr. Smith (not her real last name). That was around the time I started to really realize she was Looney Tunes so I kept calling her Ms. Sally to get on her nerves. 

[PRgal]

9 hours ago, Maharincess said:

I say exactly that because everyone I know is the same way. We don't care.  In the grand scheme of life, what somebody calls me ranks at the very bottom. As long as somebody treats me with kindness and respect, I couldn't care less what I'm called. 

Yes, but some people get taken aback.  It doesn't make them feel comfortable.  It's not really a "that's how I was raised" kind of thing, since late GenXers and millennials were pretty much all raised to address other adults NOT by their first names.  It's a me-me-me-look-how-casual-i-am-now philosophy.  Just my opinion, though.

[DeLurker]

9 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

My kids call me Mama and they are the only ones I want to call me that. The girls in their lives can call me whatever else, but not that. The boys call their sweetie's Mamas and Daddies by their first names.  I never said it to them but if the boys had called them Mama or Daddy?, honestly it would have irked me. Not knocking others that can handle it, and I don't get hung up on I am your Mama! but there is a tiny little place in my heart that would break in a million pieces to hear the boys call someone else Mama or Daddy.

When my oldest brother got married (he was the first to get married), my SIL experimented with calling my mom & dad that.  It didn't bother them at all, especially since a lot of my other brothers' friends called them that too.  But she stopped after a short while and reverted to calling them by their first names.  I asked my brother why and he said because he wouldn't call her parents m & d, she felt awkward calling his parents m & d.

9 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I do get him wanting recognition for his years of schooling and career, and as a young woman support staffer, I was an easy target, but a big problem in our world is people thinking they are better than others.

 

Sounds like he would have had that problem with anyone calling him Mr. X.  Usually they take a kinder tone when talking to a much younger person who they think doesn't know better though (at least in my experience).