Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, sealit said:

It would sting to read this woman's post about her dog if my mother's death was more recent. It seems rather thoughtless of her.

I understand how it would sting; when we're feeling something profound and see someone lament a similar but, to us, lesser experience, it's natural to react badly to that.  But I don't find it thoughtless on her part at all.  I would if she had responded directly to a comment from you about the loss of your mom by bringing up the loss of her pet (like the incident in college, only without the mitigating factor of it being a young woman struggling to relate), but it was simply a post about how this holiday season is hard for her because her dog isn't here.  She's not obligated to keep that to herself just because other people have suffered losses that were worse to them.

[sealit]

55 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I understand how it would sting; when we're feeling something profound and see someone lament a similar but, to us, lesser experience, it's natural to react badly to that.  But I don't find it thoughtless on her part at all.  I would if she had responded directly to a comment from you about the loss of your mom by bringing up the loss of her pet (like the incident in college, only without the mitigating factor of it being a young woman struggling to relate), but it was simply a post about how this holiday season is hard for her because her dog isn't here.  She's not obligated to keep that to herself just because other people have suffered losses that were worse to them.

I can agree with your thoughts. It was my knee jerk reaction to her telling everyone to go home and hug their dogs, you don't know how much time you have left with them. 

[auntlada]

2 hours ago, Quof said:

stewedsquash, you should come on over to a travel forum I've been reading all day. The locals (I won't tell you local to what city) are telling posters from other countries "We don't call it that here, if you ask for that, no one will know what you mean," over and over again, when everyone knows exactly what they mean.   For example, Brits posting about jumpers, or calling the subway "the underground" causes much hand wringing.   Dinner vs. lunch vs. tea, oh the confusion that creates.

I suggested that it's nice to learn that not everyone in the world lives like you..... 

I agree with you and on most stuff, I think Britishisms are understood, except for jumpers. I was pretty old when I realized the people in the English books meant sweaters when they talked about jumpers because jumpers are a different item of clothing here. So if a British person went i to a store here and asked for a jumper, She might get something she didn't want.

[BookWoman56]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

I understand how it would sting; when we're feeling something profound and see someone lament a similar but, to us, lesser experience, it's natural to react badly to that. 

My problem with expressions of grief tends to be just the opposite: people assume that I should be experiencing huge sorrow and loss when I am not. Part of that is the assumption by so many people that because they have close relationships with parents, siblings, etc., that everybody else does and will experience the same intense feelings upon someone's death. My father died a few years ago after a brief illness, but he was in his mid-80s and had lived a pretty full and mostly happy life, but the five years prior to his death his quality of life was deteriorating somewhat. I can't regard his death as anything but a relatively quick and painless end, and am glad it occurred that way rather than a lingering illness. My mother is still alive and now with similar health issues. I am confident that I will not experience any intense grief either when she dies because I feel like she and my father both managed to have mostly enjoyable lives. I had never been especially close to either of them since I was a small child, but it's not like we were estranged either. I just can't comprehend why I'm supposed to be devastated by the death of someone whose life was long and full. A little bit of sadness, yes; intense grief, no. OTOH, I have a friend whose parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was in her early 20s, and I can completely understand why that incident was so traumatic for her. I've known people who had horrific parents who abused them terribly, and who were glad or at least relieved when their parents died. I guess the cautionary tale here would be that it's a mistake to assume that when someone else has a death of a family member or pet or close friend, etc., that their emotional state is exactly like yours was or would be in similar circumstances. That's why I usually stick with "I'm sorry for your loss," because it conveys sympathy without trying to claim equivalency with a loss that I have experienced.  The whole situation just ties into one of my peeves, that people try to project their feelings onto you and act as if there is only one allowable response or feeling to have in a given situation. Your feelings are yours; don't try to tell me what mine should be.

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

Dinner vs. lunch vs. tea, oh the confusion that creates.

This is totally irrational, but in the last couple of years I've come to despise the word "supper."  It has somehow started sounding either hick or affected to me.  Nobody I know who uses it lives on a farm.  I put it right up there with people who say "setting" instead of "sitting," as in, "Grampa was setting in his favorite chair."  It just screams hick and I can't NOT notice it. 

I had a college roommate who snapped her gum.  She would study with headphones on while chewing gum, so the room was quiet except for that constant popping and snapping.  It was maddening.

I haven't chewed gum for decades.  A friend said he stopped chewing it because he noticed that people look like idiots when they chew gum, and I decided I agreed, so I quit, too.  Haven't missed it at all, and I have higher ground when being annoyed by others' gum habits.  Although the smell of Dubble Bubble transports me back to being a kid and going with my brothers to the barber shop, where I would read comic books and they got those crew cuts that stood straight up in the front with Brylcreem or whatever. 

[BookWoman56]

Forumfish, several years ago I was working in the financial services industry (still do), but at that time was working for one that handled a huge amount of auto and property insurance. I was doing instructional design at the time, so was writing training materials for both new hires and people who'd been on the job for a while. Based on that experience, I will tell you that some (not all) of the customer service reps who take the initial phone calls to report accidents are seriously lacking in critical thinking skills, and there is often a high turnover rate because of the low pay and pressure to cross-sell. In all seriousness, I had to write a training session for the reps who took the phone calls from customers to report accidents, to explain to them that when a distraught customer calls and says, "Omg, I was just in an accident, and my husband's dead/seriously injured, and the car is totaled," that is not the best time to say, "So sorry, but hey, did you know that you are pre-qualified for a new credit card?".

If you get no satisfaction from the agent on Monday, escalate higher up the food chain. Often the only thing that will make them move faster is the threat of cancelling the policy or of filing a complaint with the state insurance commissioner/department.

[zxy556575]

4 hours ago, auntlada said:

I was pretty old when I realized the people in the English books meant sweaters when they talked about jumpers because jumpers are a different item of clothing here.

Reading British books before the Internet, I thought a lot of people sure wore pinafore style tops! Once you think about it, "sweater" is a horrible word anyway.

2 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

Based on that experience, I will tell you that some (not all) of the customer service reps who take the initial phone calls to report accidents are seriously lacking in critical thinking skills, and there is often a high turnover rate because of the low pay and pressure to cross-sell.

I had a question about a missing ATM surcharge rebate and online chatted with my bank yesterday. The date-stamped convo took 14 minutes as the agent pasted in long canned messages about the rules for rebates, which I already know from reading them, thanks. I was asking about a specific charge on a specific date. She finally gave me an answer, but I pictured her madly scrolling through cheat sheets as she took 3+ minutes to respond to each question. Bless your heart "Melissa B."

My inconsequential peeve today may be controversial, but I dislike the term "single mother." Not based on what constitutes single* but because I prefer "parent." Kind of like "male nurse" -- specifying the gender isn't necessary.

 

 

* My parents divorced when my sister and I were toddlers and mom moved 400 miles away. Dad paid child support and we visited during the summer and holidays, but I would never say he raised us, or even helped. He was Fun Parent. My mother was Single Parent.

[Frisson]

18 minutes ago, lordonia said:

I had a question about a missing ATM surcharge rebate and online chatted with my bank yesterday. The date-stamped convo took 14 minutes as the agent pasted in long canned messages about the rules for rebates, which I already know from reading them, thanks. I was asking about a specific charge on a specific date. She finally gave me an answer, but I pictured her madly scrolling through cheat sheets as she took 3+ minutes to respond to each question. Bless your heart "Melissa B."

Maybe she doesn't have much work experience outside of entertainment after the Spice Girls, reality competitions, and the like?

My pet peeve is about names. I understand that name changes and nicknames have to do with personalization and connection, but I hate when someone takes a name and shortens it. For example, Daniel to Dan. I never let anyone shorten my name because it sounds stupid and childish. At work, I prefer people use my last name. I get it when people change it because they're friends, but I still don't like it.

Edited December 11, 2016 by Frisson
I know the English words, I swear, but technology is hard.

[Moose135]

14 minutes ago, forumfish said:

"only two people have ever called me that, and they're both dead now."

"So use it at your own risk..." :-)

[zxy556575]

12 hours ago, Frisson said:

I never let anyone shorten my name because it sounds stupid and childish.

Did you reclaim your full name as an adult, or did your parents not nickname you?

Mine took the time to give me a name and proceeded to never use it, to the extent that I feel like someone's pissed at me when I hear it. I don't mind the name, but it's not even a common shortening -- it's a completely different name! Same confusion applies for people who go by their middle names.

I'm sure we've all met people who insist on everyone using cutesy nicknames such as Moose or Smiley. Sorry, I just met you and don't want to call you Coach!

Edited December 11, 2016 by lordonia

[bilgistic]

I've never understood nicknames or "it's short for..." when the nickname is the same amount of syllables and/or letters as the given name. Sticking with our example of Daniel, if he's nicknamed Danny, you aren't saving any time saying his nickname versus his "real" name, and you're saving only one letter. Am I the only person who thinks about this?

And how does anyone get Jack from John, Hank from Henry, or Ned from Edward? I know a Hal who's really Harold, which I can kind of see, but it's a stretch.

Edited December 11, 2016 by bilgistic

[bilgistic]

8 minutes ago, lordonia said:

I'm sure we've all met people who insist on everyone using cutesy nicknames such as Moose or Smiley. Sorry, I just met you and don't want to call you Coach!

There's a man at work that has what I consider to be a borderline derogatory nickname (drug related) that was given to him in college, supposedly. He's in his late 50s if not early 60s. I refuse to call him by this name/word, and I think it's bizarre that he uses it at work. Like, if I call myself Tits, will everyone think I'm a fun gal all if the sudden?

Edited December 11, 2016 by bilgistic

[Moose135]

30 minutes ago, lordonia said:

I'm sure we've all met people who insist on everyone using cutesy nicknames such as Moose or Smiley.

You can call me Moose. ;-)  Actually, humorous story about that.  I've been called Moose most of my life - so was my father, it comes from our last name.  A couple of months into my current job, I'm on a conference call with one of our senior sales directors.  He's a funny guy, and isn't opposed to giving people nicknames.  Well, my name is John, and there were three of us on the call with him.  He was trying to figure out what to call each of us to tell us apart, and I said "Call me Moose"  which he did, of course a lot of folks here have caught on to using it as well.

27 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

And how does anyone get Jack from John

I don't know where that comes from.  I've never been called Jack, however my father was - his actual first name was an Italian name, Giacomo, but he went by Jack since he was in school.

27 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I've never understood nicknames or "it's short for..." when the nickname is the same amount of syllables and/or letters as the given name. Sticking with our example of Daniel, if he's nicknamed Danny, you aren't saving any time saying his nickname versus his "real" name, and you're saving only one letter.

Sometimes is it shortened, like Dan, or Bob, but something like Danny isn't about shortening it, it's a more familiar, less formal version.

23 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

Like, if I call myself Tits, will everyone think I'm a fun gal all if the sudden?

It might liven things up in your office!

Edited December 11, 2016 by Moose135

[Frisson]

7 hours ago, lordonia said:

Did you reclaim your full name as an adult, or did your parents not nickname you?

My name doesn't really lend itself to a nickname, so I never really could have one. I guess I want to apply my situation to everyone else.

 

7 hours ago, bilgistic said:

 

I've never understood nicknames or "it's short for..." when the nickname is the same amount of syllables and/or letters as the given name

 

The one person who did have a nickname for me was my mom, but it was a Spanish word that was way longer than my name, and she only used it when she was trying to be cutesy or silly. 

[JTMacc99]

Those of us with names like John tend to get nicknames just to separate us from the other ones. There are four of us in the same corner of the building at work. At some point you need to make one JP, one JMac, and one just his last name to eliminate confusion. We're all still John face to face though. 

In college everybody had nicknames. My kids were highly amused when I brought them to a party with my college friends and we all called each other by them. 

[Quof]

Me: "Hello Company X, I'm calling about the item I ordered six weeks ago.  I expected to hear from you long ago."

Company:  "Oh, let me check and I'll call you back."

Company, Call #2:  "Your item is here, you can come pick it up."

So if I had never called, how long would it have sat in your stock room until someone realized it was ordered by a customer?  Great system you've got there.

[DeLurker]

2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Those of us with names like John tend to get nicknames just to separate us from the other ones.

I've worked at places with multiple Johns (now that sounds illicit), so they became John 1, John 2, John 3...or a pair of women with the same name, there was a big size different so it became Big Michelle* and Little Michelle.

*Big Michelle wasn't overweight and took it well.  Once a common former co-worker described her as "big hair, big boobs and short skirts" when clarifying which one he meant.  That was an accurate description.

[JTMacc99]

17 minutes ago, Quof said:

Me: "Hello Company X, I'm calling about the item I ordered six weeks ago.  I expected to hear from you long ago."

Company:  "Oh, let me check and I'll call you back."

Company, Call #2:  "Your item is here, you can come pick it up."

So if I had never called, how long would it have sat in your stock room until someone realized it was ordered by a customer?  Great system you've got there.

That just happened to me!  I checked back three times for my sunglasses and finally ended up walking in and they found them. 

[janestclair]

I have two first names, and only go by the first one, and usually put the second one as a middle name.  No one other than my mother and my kindergarten teacher has ever called me by my full first name, and no one ever will.  It irritates me that everything for work has my full first name on it.   Luckily we all call each other by last names.  Although that was irritating in itself when we had a teacher whose last name was my first name, and I kept getting her mail in my inbox.  It wasn't even spelled the same!

[zxy556575]

11 hours ago, janestclair said:

Although that was irritating in itself when we had a teacher whose last name was my first name, and I kept getting her mail in my inbox. It wasn't even spelled the same!

I sympathize. When I bought my current house, the previous owners' last name was one letter off from mine. For example, Martin and Betty Smyth and I'm Lisa Smith. The post office COULD NOT COMPREHEND THIS, despite the different spelling and different first names. They randomly forwarded my mail to the Smyths for a year until forwarding expired. I called the post office supervisor, spoke to the carrier, went to the sorting station to no avail.

From their end, the Smyths would write on the envelopes to send mail back to me, and the handwriting and notes got progressively larger and angrier. A couple of times, their redirect to me got forwarded back to them.

Just thinking about it again makes me bilious.

Edited December 12, 2016 by lordonia

[Bastet]

Quote

there was a big size different so it became Big Michelle* and Little Michelle.

I worked in a department with two Karens, so one was Karen and one was KB, for her initials.  A few years later, we hired a third Karen into the department, and she was also a KB.  She was incredibly short, so she promptly became Little KB.

Names in common was a recurring theme with that group; among the original five members, four had the same middle name (with a 50/50 split in how it was spelled).

The two main reasons my parents chose my name - beyond the obvious fact they liked it - were that no one else in either family had it, and it did not have an obvious nickname or shortened version.  One friend managed to make a nickname out of it anyway, but she's the only one (and it sounds fine, so I don't mind).

[Blergh]

You think misspellings are the post office's only fault. A good TWENTY YEARS after my sister's death, my parents STILL received mailings for her at their address!

[bilgistic]

I want y'all to feign shock over my general practitioner suggesting to me on Friday that I should see a therapist. She did couch it with the fact that her father is a therapist, so she is biased. I told her I'd spent a small fortune in therapy over the last nearly 25 years, and felt that all I'm doing at this point is paying someone to listen to me talk. I know I'm fucked up; that's never been in question. Besides, I have you folks here to talk to about my problems. Ha...ha?

[auntlada]

8 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Those of us with names like John tend to get nicknames just to separate us from the other ones. There are four of us in the same corner of the building at work. At some point you need to make one JP, one JMac, and one just his last name to eliminate confusion. We're all still John face to face though. 

In college everybody had nicknames. My kids were highly amused when I brought them to a party with my college friends and we all called each other by them. 

[ParadoxLost]

3 hours ago, Blergh said:

You think misspellings are the post office's only fault. A good TWENTY YEARS after my sister's death, my parents STILL received mailings for her at their address!

My father passed away a few years ago and I still get mail from his alma mater asking for donations despite calling them a couple times.  I especially appreciated the letter about how they were renaming the school his major was from and how it showed how much they cared about their "living" graduates.  I sincerely thought about calling to yell at someone about their record keeping or at least loudly recommend that they not draft letters in a way that neglects the fact that the family members of the deceased might be reading them.

[Maharincess]

My mom and dad died 17 and 16 years ago respectively and even though I've moved since they passed I still get mail for them. My mom never lived with me and my dad lived with me for the last 2 years of his life so I don't understand why I get mail for my mom at my address. 

[BookWoman56]

4 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I want y'all to feign shock over my general practitioner suggesting to me on Friday that I should see a therapist. She did couch it with the fact that her father is a therapist, so she is biased. I told her I'd spent a small fortune in therapy over the last nearly 25 years, and felt that all I'm doing at this point is paying someone to listen to me talk. I know I'm fucked up; that's never been in question. Besides, I have you folks here to talk to about my problems. Ha...ha?

Bilgistic, I've been through therapy a few times, initially when I had that wake-up moment of "why do I keep making the same mistakes in relationships, etc." and then a couple of times after traumatic events, specifically to deal with those events. I feel that therapy has a twofold purpose: 1) to address the ongoing or immediate problems and identify underlying causes; and 2) to enable you to recognize the danger signals if you are spiraling out of control or into an emotional/psychological state that is counterproductive. I am very appreciative of my primary care physician, who listened to me during the initial intake interview when I told her that I've been through therapy, need the antidepressants I've been on for a while as a maintenance drug, and am self-aware enough to notice any major problems and seek out appropriate treatment. Because we had that very open discussion and she is someone who listens to patients, she's never suggested therapy. I've been able to request and receive some meds on a short-term basis for anxiety on occasion, but that was in response to a specific situation that would have stressed almost anyone. Obviously she asks me about my levels of depression/anxiety during checkups, but is not going to push me into unnecessary therapy as long as I am functioning fine without it. We have a respectful doctor/patient relationship, in which she trusts me to alert her to any significant symptoms and I trust her to alert me if I exhibit symptoms that need attention. That is, if I walked into her office and was incoherent or emotionally overwrought, she'd refer me to appropriate treatment, but if I walk in and comment that things have been really stressful lately but are under control, she takes me at my word and doesn't assume I am crashing and burning.

[ParadoxLost]

I had a friend that once went to a dermatologist because she was breaking out.  The doctor advised that it was stress related and recommended she stop working.  Because being unemployed and unable to support yourself is not at all stressful.  

[Petunia13]

I have noticed people w mental illness are very resistant to treatment esp therapy and medication or hospitalization. I saw therapists in college and v well regarded v expensive ($600-800hr) psychiatrist concurrently for a yr. I was told I am neurotic and don't have a sense of self which both are still true. I am edgy and privately worry often and feel dread and fear, also I have a very nondescript personality. I've taken the Myers Briggs personality test and Mensa personality tests myriad x in my life and always get inconclusive results. 

I think therapy is good for anyone just to balance their thoughts I mean Woody Allen's been in therapy for 30 yrs. there's no stigma. I think for bipolar people and schizophrenics it's something they find repellant since their disorders inherently inform them their behaviors are justified. 

[riley702]

6 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I want y'all to feign shock over my general practitioner suggesting to me on Friday that I should see a therapist. She did couch it with the fact that her father is a therapist, so she is biased. I told her I'd spent a small fortune in therapy over the last nearly 25 years, and felt that all I'm doing at this point is paying someone to listen to me talk. I know I'm fucked up; that's never been in question. Besides, I have you folks here to talk to about my problems. Ha...ha?

Absolutely! That's what we're here for!

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Petunia13 said:

I mean Woody Allen's been in therapy for 30 yrs. there's no stigma.

Well, not related to therapy, anyway.

Edited December 12, 2016 by StatisticalOutlier

[bilgistic]

I've been medicated for over half my life for depression and anxiety. It's just a fact of life. I am mentally ill, and wouldn't be able to function without medication. I am not doing a fantastic job even with it, but there's only so many meds a person can take, and I take a potent cocktail. I'm also "medication resistant", which is a condition I have that means meds just stop working for me fairly quickly, so I and my psychiatrist have to go on the quest to find a new cocktail that will work.

My illness is at least partially hereditary, not that anyone else in my family will deal with their own shit. I know my issues and triggers, but short of holing up alone (with cats) forever, I'm going to be triggered and I just have to try to cope. People generally don't understand my needs and because our society is what it is, they're ignored, not taken seriously or made fun of. Like when I told my boss I didn't want to go to the Christmas party after work (because crowds and loudness are anxiety triggers for me), he wouldn't just accept "I don't want to go". He's always saying I'm "negative". I realize he's a bad example because he's just an asshole, but I feel like, leave me alone already! After 2.5 years of knowing me, don't you get tired of pushing my buttons?

Edited December 12, 2016 by bilgistic

[Sandman87]

On Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 0:27 PM, auntlada said:

So if a British person went i to a store here and asked for a jumper, She might get something she didn't want.

Like a former coworker of mine who went to a restaurant in England and asked the waitress for a napkin...

[zxy556575]

Why must so many news and entertainment sites embed autoplay videos? They make the sites SO SLOW to load. I dunno about others but I just want to skim the danged article. Down with autoplay!

[Bastet]

I'm with you on that one, lordonia.  I hate when I click on what I think is a written article, only to find out the story is told in pictures.  I don't want to watch a video, I don't want to click through a slideshow, I simply want to read the information.

[DeLurker]

Darn it!  My simple project to replace the sand in the fireplace has spiraled into deciding my gas logs are too big, so I need new ones.  Oh, do I need vented or vent free ones?  Ummmm....what size do you need?  Ummmm....  And what the hell do I do with the ones I have?  Post a classified - slightly used fireplace logs for sale cheap - make offer!  And what is that little knobby thing on the outside frame of the fireplace for? 

[janestclair]

1 hour ago, lordonia said:

Why must so many news and entertainment sites embed autoplay videos? They make the sites SO SLOW to load. I dunno about others but I just want to skim the danged article. Down with autoplay!

I'll just click the back button and find the information somewhere else. Ain't nobody got time to click through a slideshow or find the teeny little stop button that's usually hidden to stop the godforsaken autoplay video.  Ditto if they tell me to turn off my ad blocker to use their site.  Like hell I will.  Not when there are sites with malware in the ads.  

12 hours ago, Sandman87 said:

Like a former coworker of mine who went to a restaurant in England and asked the waitress for a napkin...

I'm almost afraid to know. What does napkin mean in England?  I know pants means underwear, so I'm sure that's led to some awkward exchanges. 

[topanga]

3 hours ago, lordonia said:

Why must so many news and entertainment sites embed autoplay videos? They make the sites SO SLOW to load. I dunno about others but I just want to skim the danged article. Down with autoplay!

Same with those Internet articles: "Celebrities you didn't know were dead/adopted/dealing with depression/in interracial relationships. The articles can't just list the celebrities. Oh, no. You have to click through a friggin' slow-ass slide show (full of graphics and ads) to get to information that isn't all that interesting. And you probably knew all of it anyway. 

On 12/10/2016 at 11:21 PM, lordonia said:

I'm sure we've all met people who insist on everyone using cutesy nicknames such as Moose or Smiley. Sorry, I just met you and don't want to call you Coach!

My husband has relatives he calls Uncle Diddy-Boo, Tuffa, Newsa, Boll-weevil, Puncho, and Yummy. If hard-pressed, he could come up with their real names. But it's a struggle. And his relatives insist on calling him by initials. And one of the initials isn't part of his name at all! Why do people do that? My grandmother insisted on using real names for people, even relatives, and I certainly agree with that. Her motto was, "People die, and you'll never know their real name."

[Quof]

Quote

Her motto was, "People die, and you'll never know their real name."

I'm always puzzled by obituaries that say "William (Bill) Smith....".   Wow, thanks for telling me it was my old pal Bill, otherwise I might never have recognized him as William.

[Maharincess]

My daughter named my son Bubba the day he came home from the hospital. She pointed at him, said "my Bubba" and he's been Bubba ever since.  My brother took me to the pharmacy to get a prescription for Bubba one day, we're sitting there and when I stood up after they called my son's name my brother asked where I was going because they hasn't called his name yet. I guess he was so used to Bubba that he forgot his nephew's real name. 

[zxy556575]

1 hour ago, topanga said:

My husband has relatives he calls Uncle Diddy-Boo, Tuffa, Newsa, Boll-weevil, Puncho, and Yummy. If hard-pressed, he could come up with their real names. But it's a struggle. And his relatives insist on calling him by initials. And one of the initials isn't part of his name at all! Why do people do that? My grandmother insisted on using real names for people, even relatives, and I certainly agree with that. Her motto was, "People die, and you'll never know their real name."

See, I think family nicknames are sweet and funny, if kept there. But I really don't want to be introduced to Yummy or Boll-weevil at a business meeting! It forces a familiarity that isn't earned.

The first and middle names on my mother's birth certificate are Jean Frances. At at some point in her early 30s she decided she wanted to be Gina Francesca and used that the rest of her life. When she died, my sister and I had double-sided prayer cards made for the funeral, with her birth name/maiden name on one side so it would be familiar to older family members, and Gina/married name on the other. I don't know why, because it ended up confusing everyone. Despite me giving people no credit, they actually knew her by the name she used.

[Moose135]

My mother's family had a thing for nicknames - her cousins included Snoonie and Lolly.  A few years back, I had gotten together with some folks from a photography group I belong to.  During a break between some of the shooting we were doing, one woman - who was a good friend at that point - was telling a story, and mentioned one of her cousins, with an unusual last name.  I said you have cousins called...so do I.  I told her it was my mother's cousin, she had married a guy by that name.  His first name was John, but since he was the youngest in his family, they called him Babe - up to his death in his late 70s.  She said "My grandmother's youngest brother was named John, but they always called him Babe."  I said "He was married to Lolly..."  She about fell over and said "You're related to Babe and Lolly!"  Small world.

[Popples]

5 hours ago, janestclair said:

I'm almost afraid to know. What does napkin mean in England?  I know pants means underwear, so I'm sure that's led to some awkward exchanges. 

Posh people say "napkin"; non-posh say "serviette", which is French for "napkin."

Edited December 13, 2016 by Popples
Punctuation error

[DeLurker]

Yikes!  Nicknames!

My aunt added "kins" to my name, so DeLurker-kins.  I loathed it, but she was my aunt so...until my friends heard her calling me that when I was in my teens.  I can still hear them cackling.

[Bastet]

2 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

My aunt added "kins" to my name, so DeLurker-kins.  I loathed it, but she was my aunt so...until my friends heard her calling me that when I was in my teens.  I can still hear them cackling.

My mom's cousin sometimes adds "kins" to my name; I'd forgotten about that.  I sometimes called Maddie "Maddiekins" because of that.  And, for reasons unknown even to me, I sometimes call Riley "Riley Roo."  It would make sense if she in any way resembled a kangaroo, I suppose, but since she doesn't -- I don't know.

One of my best friends is sometimes referred to as "Booger" by my parents - and she'll refer to herself that way when talking to them.  One time, when we were probably about 15, she was walking down our hallway and overhead my parents in the office; my dad was describing someone to my mom as being "like a booger you can't get off the end of your finger."  She - who was over at our house all the time - asked, "Are you talking about me?"  He wasn't, but it stuck; she's still Booger.

My grandpa called people by their names when speaking to them, but often referred to them by nicknames otherwise.  So there were people who I had no idea what their real names were, because I only heard about them from him, and he always used his nickname for them.  I remember one guy was "John Dixon" because he looked like Larry Bryggman (who played John Dixon on As The World Turns).

[Maharincess]

My mom called me "Rebadurch" for some strange, unknown reason.  She said she called me that in a store once and a man told her she was a bad mom for naming me something like that. 

Peeve. To each their own, but I don't understand emailing a TV station to try to get a show off the air simply because you found out that you don't agree with what the people on the show do in their private, personal lives.  I just don't get it.  It reeks of bored busy bodies who have too much time on their hands.  I couldn't care less what somebody does in their private lives because it's none of my damn business.   If I like a show, I like the show and that's all that matters to me.  If I don't like it, I stop watching and move on to something else.  

I strongly disagree with Patricia Heaton and what she stands for but The Middle is one of my favorite shows. 

If people don't agree with what somebody on TV does, I have some advice...TURN THE DAMN CHANNEL AND MOVE ON!!!   Don't try to get a show cancelled and people fired because you don't agree with what somebody does in their private life. 

[Sandman87]

8 hours ago, lordonia said:

Why must so many news and entertainment sites embed autoplay videos? They make the sites SO SLOW to load. I dunno about others but I just want to skim the danged article. Down with autoplay!

Extra-super agreement. In fact, I dislike all the unnecessary crap that sites load up with, including scripts that load from external sites. Because I use a dial-up connection at home, that's why.

For example, this very page is currently loading scripts (some of them change with reloading) from: lijit.com, scorecardresearch.com, crwdcntrl.com, lockerdome.com, quantserve.com, htl.bid, outbrain.com, googlesyndication.com, pubnation.com, fmpub.net, doubleclick.net, google-analytics.com, googletagservices.com, cointent.com, cloudfront.net, akamaized.net, and amazonaws.com, in addition to previously.tv.

If any one of those is a slow connection, it becomes a bottleneck for the whole page. And if anyone posts an inline video, or picture from an image hosting site, that adds even more to the list.

The sad thing is that this web site is relatively sane. There are other sites that load scripts from so many external sites that the drop-down menu from my script blocker can't fit them all on the screen without scrolling the list.

7 hours ago, janestclair said:

I'm almost afraid to know. What does napkin mean in England?  I know pants means underwear, so I'm sure that's led to some awkward exchanges. 

Serviette = The thing you use at the table

Napkin = Tampon (aka sanitary napkin)

[3pwood]

I'm old & usage may have changed lately, but I recall napkins (aka, casually:  nappies) in England being diapers.

[bmasters9]

7 hours ago, Maharincess said:

If people don't agree with what somebody on TV does, I have some advice...TURN THE DAMN CHANNEL AND MOVE ON!!!   Don't try to get a show cancelled and people fired because you don't agree with what somebody does in their private life. 

I think that mentality is what got Airwolf cancelled from CBS after 3 seasons (actually 2.5) from 1984-86: because Jan-Michael Vincent (who played Stringfellow Hawke) had troubles with alcoholism and other personal problems, and IIRC, CBS said "no more-- we're cancelling Airwolf." After that, of course, came the much-maligned "fourth" season made in Canada and shot on video, which, IIARC, was made just to have enough episodes for syndication. I'm almost to be through with the first half-season's worth of the CBS Airwolf from Mill Creek's lot DVD release (when that's over, I'll have two full ones to go), and when I finish the CBS version, Airwolf will be relegated to "bye, bye, bye" status for me, because it would seem that based on what I've read about the USA 1987 Airwolf, it's basically like the expert slopes at a ski resort (only for those who can stomach it, IOW). That doesn't mean that I won't still enjoy the CBS ones, though.

[JTMacc99]

9 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Peeve. To each their own, but I don't understand emailing a TV station to try to get a show off the air simply because you found out that you don't agree with what the people on the show do in their private, personal lives.  I just don't get it.  It reeks of bored busy bodies who have too much time on their hands.  I couldn't care less what somebody does in their private lives because it's none of my damn business.   If I like a show, I like the show and that's all that matters to me.  If I don't like it, I stop watching and move on to something else.  

Oh my. A thousand times yes to this. 

First of all, the strongest message you can send a network is to not watch the show. No viewers = no ratings = no advertising = show cancelled.

Second, bored busy bodies. Heh. The damage that can be done by people with time on their hands and the belief that they hold the moral high ground should never be underestimated.  I present to you, for example, the Parents Television Council.