Small Talk: About Big People

[ClareWalks]

This Clickhole article  reminds me of where we're at with Whitney and the HAES movement at this point. (Clickhole is basically a parody of Buzzfeed, with fake articles like The Onion has.) 

[yogi2014L]

OMG I am watching MTV's True Life I'm a "feedy" 

I feel like this would have been Whit's future had she not gotten scooped up by TLC. If you have time go find the episode. Its disturbing. 

[auntjess]

The show just posted this on Facebook, and everytime I see Lennie, he looks like he's a/in disguise, or b/ultra-Orthodox, or c/both.
http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/my-big-fat-fabulous-life/videos/discussing-marriage-in-front-of-lennie/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mybigfatfabulouslife&sf38580692=1

Not sure why they posted it again, but maybe Lennie is back in the picture, or maybe they just want to keep interest up.

Edited October 11, 2016 by auntjess

[lallalla]

On 10/11/2016 at 4:34 PM, auntjess said:

The show just posted this on Facebook, and everytime I see Lennie, he looks like he's a/in disguise, or b/ultra-Orthodox, or c/both.
http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/my-big-fat-fabulous-life/videos/discussing-marriage-in-front-of-lennie/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mybigfatfabulouslife&sf38580692=1

Not sure why they posted it again, but maybe Lennie is back in the picture, or maybe they just want to keep interest up.

I just think he is trying to do the "lumbersexual" movement..poorly.

Interesting theory. There are Jewish adherents in NC, just not (usually) large pockets of them.

Which doesn't mean he couldn't be, I just hadn't considered that.  Interesting.

[auntjess]

I keep getting one of those teaser stories, that I'm afraid to click on,  that says "Whitney Thore Is So Skinny Now And Looks Like A ModelBuzztache"
Somehow, I don't buy it.

 

[notyrmomma]

4 minutes ago, auntjess said:

I keep getting one of those teaser stories, that I'm afraid to click on,  that says "Whitney Thore Is So Skinny Now And Looks Like A ModelBuzztache"
Somehow, I don't buy it.

 

CLICK BAIT!  Don't do it.  I saw it too and I immediately thought of this board and how WE KNOW that just ain't true!

[ClareWalks]

Not trying to fat-shame here, but Whitney would not be "skinny" unless she lost a good 250 lb. And the only way she's losing 250 lb at her current effort level is if she can't locate Lennie. (It took me a second to think of a friend of hers that might be that weight.)

[Snarklepuss]

On 10/12/2016 at 10:17 PM, lallalla said:

I just think he is trying to do the "lumbersexual" movement..poorly.

Interesting theory. There are Jewish adherents in NC, just not (usually) large pockets of them.

Which doesn't mean he couldn't be, I just hadn't considered that.  Interesting.

Why on earth would Lennie be an Orthodox Jew?  Because he has a beard?  Trust me, as someone who knows what Orthodox Jews act and look like, he's no Orthodox Jew.  Even if in some strange universe he were, he wouldn't go anywhere near Whitney.

[auntjess]

I just meant that I had only seen beards like that on a few Orthodox Jews.

[Tosia]

Hey all, aI got Twitney's book from the library and read a few sentences where she's complaining abt a low carb diet,  and put it in the car to return it asap. Blech.

However,  yesterday I picked up Penn Jillette's book, Presto, abt how he lost 100 lbs., and it is great so far.  He admits that at 333 lbs., or more, and 6'7" height,  that he was a fat fuck and  in denial abt his weight  (and his smoking).  He is very forthright abt his incredibly bad eating habits. I am really impressed with his honesty.  Still reading. Lots of profanity but I don't mind that.  Such a refreshing change from Twit's blame everybody else ( including her own PCOS) for her weight and related problems.  

Edited December 9, 2016 by Tosia
Checked spelling.

[TurtlePower]

On 12/8/2016 at 5:22 PM, Tosia said:

Hey all, aI got Twitney's book from the library and read a few sentences where she's complaining abt a low carb diet,  and put it in the car to return it asap. Blech.

However,  yesterday I picked up Penn Jillette's book, Presto, abt how he lost 100 lbs., and it is great so far.  He admits that at 333 lbs., or more, and 6'7" height,  that he was a fat fuck and  in denial abt his weight  (and his smoking).  He is very forthright abt his incredibly bad eating habits. I am really impressed with his honesty.  Still reading. Lots of profanity but I don't mind that.  Such a refreshing change from Twit's blame everybody else ( including her own PCOS) for her weight and related problems.  

Whitney's blaming of everything else but herself is what caused me to go from rooting for her in Season 1 to rolling my eyes at her now. If she's not injured, it's some other excuse. She went from being funny and likeable to annoying and pissy. Maybe she is facing a tougher battle than most--but the excuses won't solve her deep rooted issues. 

I don't want to be too snarky because I watched my mom struggle with her weight/food, all while dealing with an anorexic daughter (me). But I've seen people with problems like Whitney's lose weight and become fit, including my mom. They admitted they had to work harder than most people and that it was frustrating, but it's what they had to do to succeed. 

[supaflyskye]

I'm a little bit surprised that so many of y'all seem to be basically in agreement the there are NO leggings out there which are EVER appropriate in the office, in any even "business casual" situation.
like...hm...
maybe it's just because I'm thin?? but when I worked in an office (title company), there were certainly many times I wore leggings to work, sometimes even w/ a short/standard length shirt (like not a long, tunic type top that covered my butt), and was never told it was not appropriate (& my parents worked in the attached law office next door, I saw them every day & I KNOW they would have not hesitated to tell me if I was wearing something of questionable work appropriateness). granted, the very same standard of dress which applied to most of the other employees did not necessarily apply to me, because I was just a lowly filing assistant and thus never seen by clients, but still I was definitely expected to stick to at least "business casual," was only allowed to wear jeans or regular T-shirts on "casual Fridays," etc.
I mean...I have some damn NICE looking pairs of leggings, some that I wouldn't think twice about wearing to the office, or bat an eye at if I saw someone else wearing them in a business setting.

 

SIDE NOTE: RE the whole matter of fat people being "discriminated" against in what they are allowed to wear in work settings (which was brought up very briefly on this page) -- i.e. a thin person could get away w/ something more "revealing" while a fat person would be told the same clothing was "inappropriate" -- I have personally experienced the OPPOSITE! as I said on the last page, I am a professional riding instructor/horse trainer... and my last job, which was of course at a barn, IMO had a "dress code" (or lack thereof) which was quite casual even for a barn -- like normally especially working as an instructor I would ALWAYS be wearing, and I think would be expected to wear, riding breeches w/ either a polo or button down shirt, tucked in, just because that is what I feel is appropriate & what I am used to being considered appropriate...I want to look professional, ya know? but this barn had NO dress code whatsoever, neither for employees nor clients, aside from needing to have close-toed shoes on (of course). the other instructors/employees were always wearing things like leggings, short shorts, T-shirts, tank tops, etc; and while for some months after I started working there, I DID stick to just breeches + polos or button downs, after a while I lapsed into just wearing the casual clothes that everyone else was wearing.
BUT -- I was once told off for my attire by my employer, when I came in wearing a tank top (like a "wifebeater" style -- w/ thick straps, not spaghetti straps), w/ leggings. there was no cleavage showing, or anything like that. I was basically told that I should not be wearing such formfitting clothing, because I was too thin -- that it set a poor example for the children I was teaching, that parents were concerned about it (thinking I was on drugs, or horribly ill, or something, or whatever), and that it made people "uncomfortable," and was not appropriate.
HOWEVER, the other instructor working there, who was QUITE overweight, often wore the SAME exact types of clothing and suffered NO reproach whatsoever! I swear, I don't think I EVER saw her wearing anything but leggings, she wore them every day!
at one point, my boss even told me that if I did not gain some weight that I may be at risk of losing my continued employment there. O_o I assure you, no such comments were EVER made to the extremely overweight instructor.
things can go both ways...

 

I'm sorry, this whole post was rather off-topic.
sorry.

 

Edited February 11, 2017 by supaflyskye

[Pachengala]

1 hour ago, supaflyskye said:

I mean...I have some damn NICE looking pairs of leggings, some that I wouldn't think twice about wearing to the office, or bat an eye at if I saw someone else wearing them in a business setting.

I'm super old-school don't think leggings are appropriate anywhere but the gym and on my toddler. In fact, it's kind of become this running joke in my friend-group, like a "ha ha Pachengala hates leggings lol" kind of thing. So I ask this coming from a place of total ignorance but also of total sincerity: what is the difference between 'nice' leggings and not-nice leggings? To me they're just not something you can fancy up, so I'm super curious. 

[supaflyskye]

27 minutes ago, Pachengala said:

I'm super old-school don't think leggings are appropriate anywhere but the gym and on my toddler. In fact, it's kind of become this running joke in my friend-group, like a "ha ha Pachengala hates leggings lol" kind of thing. So I ask this coming from a place of total ignorance but also of total sincerity: what is the difference between 'nice' leggings and not-nice leggings? To me they're just not something you can fancy up, so I'm super curious. 

some random examples of what I consider to be "nice"/possibly work appropriate leggings:

^ I have that pair

or even just solid black/other muted colour leggings w/ a nice, long-ish button down shirt, honestly.
just so long as they fit properly (are neither awkwardly baggy nor squeezing you in half), the fabric is nice & not pilling, torn, or otherwise gross looking, they're clean, etc...and of course fully opaque hah.

I really don't have a problem w/ leggings in the workplace at all.
I mean...why even is it that they're not considered appropriate? because they're tight? or because they don't have a fly & pockets?
many companies (like Express for example, and others), are now selling "office leggings" ...which are just, you know, leggings, except they have a faux fly, pockets, and often belt loops & pin tucks even...so they simply look like skin tight slacks.
honestly, I think it is more the lack of pockets/etc that causes them to be viewed as "too casual for the office," rather than the fact that they're tight & stretchy.

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, Pachengala said:

I'm super old-school don't think leggings are appropriate anywhere but the gym and on my toddler. In fact, it's kind of become this running joke in my friend-group, like a "ha ha Pachengala hates leggings lol" kind of thing. So I ask this coming from a place of total ignorance but also of total sincerity: what is the difference between 'nice' leggings and not-nice leggings? To me they're just not something you can fancy up, so I'm super curious. 

I treat leggings like pantyhose-I wear them under things. My top has to at least cover my behind if I am wearing leggings with it. "Nice" leggings to me are those that are thick and well-made and act as an accessory, not so much as pants. 

[ClareWalks]

27 minutes ago, supaflyskye said:

I really don't have a problem w/ leggings in the workplace at all.
I mean...why even is it that they're not considered appropriate? because they're tight? or because they don't have a fly & pockets?

You are REALLY presenting a case pro-leggings, LOL :-P

Some people just hate leggings. I think they are fine, they are very comfortable and can be work appropriate as long as they aren't a loud print (I actually don't think the leggings you posted are work appropriate, they look very "high-end yoga studio" to me, JMO). I have solid black leggings that are opaque that, paired with boots and a long top or skirt, would look perfectly fine. I think the fact that they ARE skin tight and if worn with a short top, they show every curve of the hips and butt, they are usually not appropriate in a less casual office setting unless worn as I suggested. It really depends on the job. I can wear tights and leggings to my job because I am a personal trainer.

[TurtlePower]

3 hours ago, supaflyskye said:

I'm a little bit surprised that so many of y'all seem to be basically in agreement the there are NO leggings out there which are EVER appropriate in the office, in any even "business casual" situation.
like...hm...
maybe it's just because I'm thin?? but when I worked in an office (title company), there were certainly many times I wore leggings to work, sometimes even w/ a short/standard length shirt (like not a long, tunic type top that covered my butt), and was never told it was not appropriate (& my parents worked in the attached law office next door, I saw them every day & I KNOW they would have not hesitated to tell me if I was wearing something of questionable work appropriateness). granted, the very same standard of dress which applied to most of the other employees did not necessarily apply to me, because I was just a lowly filing assistant and thus never seen by clients, but still I was definitely expected to stick to at least "business casual," was only allowed to wear jeans or regular T-shirts on "casual Fridays," etc.
I mean...I have some damn NICE looking pairs of leggings, some that I wouldn't think twice about wearing to the office, or bat an eye at if I saw someone else wearing them in a business setting.

 

SIDE NOTE: RE the whole matter of fat people being "discriminated" against in what they are allowed to wear in work settings (which was brought up very briefly on this page) -- i.e. a thin person could get away w/ something more "revealing" while a fat person would be told the same clothing was "inappropriate" -- I have personally experienced the OPPOSITE! as I said on the last page, I am a professional riding instructor/horse trainer... and my last job, which was of course at a barn, IMO had a "dress code" (or lack thereof) which was quite casual even for a barn -- like normally especially working as an instructor I would ALWAYS be wearing, and I think would be expected to wear, riding breeches w/ either a polo or button down shirt, tucked in, just because that is what I feel is appropriate & what I am used to being considered appropriate...I want to look professional, ya know? but this barn had NO dress code whatsoever, neither for employees nor clients, aside from needing to have close-toed shoes on (of course). the other instructors/employees were always wearing things like leggings, short shorts, T-shirts, tank tops, etc; and while for some months after I started working there, I DID stick to just breeches + polos or button downs, after a while I lapsed into just wearing the casual clothes that everyone else was wearing.
BUT -- I was once told off for my attire by my employer, when I came in wearing a tank top (like a "wifebeater" style -- w/ thick straps, not spaghetti straps), w/ leggings. there was no cleavage showing, or anything like that. I was basically told that I should not be wearing such formfitting clothing, because I was too thin -- that it set a poor example for the children I was teaching, that parents were concerned about it (thinking I was on drugs, or horribly ill, or something, or whatever), and that it made people "uncomfortable," and was not appropriate.
HOWEVER, the other instructor working there, who was QUITE overweight, often wore the SAME exact types of clothing and suffered NO reproach whatsoever! I swear, I don't think I EVER saw her wearing anything but leggings, she wore them every day!
at one point, my boss even told me that if I did not gain some weight that I may be at risk of losing my continued employment there. O_o I assure you, no such comments were EVER made to the extremely overweight instructor.
things can go both ways...

 

I'm sorry, this whole post was rather off-topic.
sorry.

 

Dude, what? I've also been thin my whole life (mixed in with bouts of anorexia), but if someone pulled that BS with me I'd lose my shit. Although I was almost removed my law enforcement academy for getting "too thin"--well, don't make body fat a part of the fitness award, then. I was 9% body fat and my argument shut them up. 

[Tosia]

IMHO, leggings, without a top covering the butt , are too revealing in a professional or any kind of (non-exercise)  work environment cuz they're usually skin-tight, showing every lump and bump--even on skinny folks. Just not a way to be classy or chic. 

Leggings are cute under a tunic or longer top, but otherwise, they'  re kind of like wearing a sports bra without a t-shirt, like Whit does EVERYWHERE. 

[supaflyskye]

36 minutes ago, Runnergirl said:

Dude, what? I've also been thin my whole life (mixed in with bouts of anorexia), but if someone pulled that BS with me I'd lose my shit. Although I was almost removed my law enforcement academy for getting "too thin"--well, don't make body fat a part of the fitness award, then. I was 9% body fat and my argument shut them up. 

hah, yes I agree. I found it to pretty damn perturbing as well.

but I too am actually anorexic, and at the time I was dealing w/ some physical health issues that had resulted in me missing a day of work here & there. though the physical issues I was/am dealing w/ do not have much if anything to do w/ my ED and certainly nothing at all to do w/ my weight...my boss just would not hear that and blamed anything & everything that ever was awry w/ me on "YOU NEED TO EAT!" (◔_◔) like...no...I am sick right now because my blood glucose is through the roof...eating will NOT make that better. it will make it worse. just stop.
ahh I ending up wishing I had not even disclosed my ED to her in the first place...but there was an area on the employment paperwork that asked me to disclose any & all health issues, both mental & physical, and to list all medications I took. like...is that even legal??? I asked her about it, but it only set her off on a huge rant about how "of course it was legal," how she absolutely needed to know these things in order to protect the clients (mostly children, also folks w/ disabilities [they had an equine therapy program]), etc etc...
though when I asked my father (a lawyer) about it after the fact, he seemed to think the legality was questionable...

Edited February 11, 2017 by supaflyskye

[ClareWalks]

45 minutes ago, supaflyskye said:

but there was an area on the employment paperwork that asked me to disclose any & all health issues, both mental & physical, and to list all medications I took. like...is that even legal??? I asked her about it, but it only set her off on a huge rant about how "of course it was legal," how she absolutely needed to know these things in order to protect the clients

That is definitely sketchy! I would have responded "nothing that would interfere with my work, or require special accommodations," because really that is the ONLY stuff that would be their business at all!
On a personal note, I wish you good luck with your recovery. Come here and snark with us, it is good for the soul at least, LOL

[mamadrama]

6 hours ago, supaflyskye said:

ahh I ending up wishing I had not even disclosed my ED to her in the first place...but there was an area on the employment paperwork that asked me to disclose any & all health issues, both mental & physical, and to list all medications I took. like...is that even legal??? I asked her about it, but it only set her off on a huge rant about how "of course it was legal," how she absolutely needed to know these things in order to protect the clients (mostly children, also folks w/ disabilities [they had an equine therapy program]), etc etc...

I absolutely do not think that is legal. The only time I believe it is is when the job requires something where a preexisting condition could make typical duties dangerous. For instance, if you're working as a driver for a company and have something medically wrong with you that makes driving dangerous. (I had a seizure once; my license was suspended for six months.) 

I successfully sued a company in 2003. I worked for a company (I can't say what it is, although I DID write a book about the experience-I just changed the name and type of business) and they found out through secondhand information that I had a medical condition that they didn't like and were afraid of. Not only did they fire me for having the condition and not telling them, even though it did not affect my job duties, but they went around and told other co-workers that I had it. Both were illegal and I won a settlement against them. Not only were they not allowed to ask about that condition, they weren't allowed to fire me for having it or to disclose it to others. 

 

Note: I have a connective tissue disorder that makes my organs rupture. It wasn't like I was an unmedicated schizophrenic, running around threatening to kill them in their sleep. Of course, the thought crossed my mind afterwards. I was pretty mad. 

Edited February 12, 2017 by mamadrama

[auntjess]

6 hours ago, supaflyskye said:

 and to list all medications I took

I can understand the medications question, because you'd need to control a large animal.
Not quite the same as a vehicle of machinery, but still something that you'd not want to do if you were taking something that would make you less alert.

[supaflyskye]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I absolutely do not think that is legal. The only time I believe it is is when the job requires something where a preexisting condition could make typical duties dangerous. For instance, if you're working as a driver for a company and have something medically wrong with you that makes driving dangerous. (I had a seizure once; my license was suspended for six months.) 

I successfully sued a company in 2003. I worked for a company (I can't say what it is, although I DID write a book about the experience-I just changed the name and type of business) and they found out through secondhand information that I had a medical condition that they didn't like and were afraid of. Not only did they fire me for having the condition and not telling them, even though it did not affect my job duties, but they went around and told other co-workers that I had it. Both were illegal and I won a settlement against them. Not only were they not allowed to ask about that condition, they weren't allowed to fire me for having it or to disclose it to others. 

 

Note: I have a connective tissue disorder that makes my organs rupture. It wasn't like I was an unmedicated schizophrenic, running around threatening to kill them in their sleep. Of course, the thought crossed my mind afterwards. I was pretty mad. 

trust me...if it would be at all actually worth suing her, I would have already (just in small claims court at least)...she still owes me like $2k+ in unpaid wages (and a bit for some expensive equipment I'd loaned her that was lost/damaged). =/ she's nearly as broke as I am though. she just recently lost the services of both her veterinarian & farrier because she'd run up such truly enormous tabs and never made any progress in paying them, they only got bigger & bigger. she/her business are really just skating by on the skin of her teeth.

but yeah...I feel ya though...
honestly, I suspect I was "laid off" from my job prior to that one (also at a barn) in some part because of my autism spectrum disorder/"symptoms" of it.
not that it actually affected my work at ALL...my boss was just...kind of...one of those people? I could go on for paragraphs about him, but I won't.
one quick ex. (quickest I can think of to share anyway): I have very poor facial expressions (ASD related I figure), just in general -- I most usually am entirely unaware of what exactly my face is doing, and my reactive expressions very rarely end up being situationally appropriate ...and my "resting" (?) face I guess I must have most of the time when I'm working is apparently...not very pleasant? I don't look happy? I guess? and my boss one day really went off on me about it -- had a whole long rant about how I looked miserable all the time, I was negatively representing his business, clients were asking if I was "okay" because I always looked so disturbed, etc, etc, on & on. and he mandated that if I was from then on to have a smile on my face at all times while working. and after that, he'd frequently scream at me, "SKYE! FIX YOUR FUCKING FACE! RIGHT NOW!" "YOUR FACE DAMNIT!" "SKYE! FACE! no, not like that! yes, that's better, that's what it should look like; practice that."  and such things as that.
like I said, that's just one example... he tended to just generally very displeased w/ a lot characteristics & mannerisms I have presumably as a result of being on the autistic spectrum ...and really was just kind of crazy in general -- he once made me run around outside the riding ring and chase the squirrels away every time they got near. hah! we had some kamikaze squirrels that were continually running into the ring RIGHT in the horses' path immediately in front of their feet while he was riding, and it was REALLY upsetting him. xP

I was told I was being "laid off," because this other girl who'd worked there the longest of anyone & had always been working for "free" (in exchange for rent + horse board + riding lessons), was now insisting on being paid, since us other employees who'd been hired since were doing the same work & getting the same things in exchange, except we were getting paid as well. and they really liked her and wanted to be able to keep her on, but they couldn't afford to keep all of us if she was going to need compensation as well, so they had to let one person go: me.
but I don't know...that whole thing was kind of strange to me... because I was let go while ON VACATION, after my employers had made such a HUGE deal about how they could not possibly manage to get by at the barn w/o me for more than a week at most (I'd initially hoped for a bit longer vacation), and that they could absolutely not give me any longer of a (unpaid) vacation than that. then they let me go while I was gone. weird.
so...I dunno...I do feel like one notable factor may have possibly been how much some of my ASD related characteristics irritated my boss...
but I would not ever sue them either! because all that aside, they gave me a decent severance cheque and have been a great reference for me. xD

I'm sorry that happened to you w/ your former company, that's really very unfortunate. it sounds like it all ended up working out eventually though! so that's good at least.

Edited February 12, 2017 by supaflyskye

[supaflyskye]

4 hours ago, auntjess said:

I can understand the medications question, because you'd need to control a large animal.
Not quite the same as a vehicle of machinery, but still something that you'd not want to do if you were taking something that would make you less alert.

hah...I suppose...in theory.
however, she was much more interested in the actual diagnoses than the meds.
like, I'd listed my "health issues" (after asking her about the legality, she was kind of walking me through all the paperwork) and then got to the question about medications...and I told her that I took several antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds (did not disclose that I was a recovering IV opiate addict on buprenorphine ORT -- glad I didn't, and I really don't see why it's any of her business!), and she was basically just like "oh, well, I don't really need specifics for that! you can just put something like 'depression/anxiety meds' or something generic like that on there. I just put that whole section there to help keep out anyone who might pose a danger."
ah, yes, don't want anyone w/ one of those "dangerous" mental illnesses. (◔_◔)

ETA: the crazy thing is -- this woman is/was going to school to get her masters in social work so she can become a THERAPIST. like oh my goodness she has no concept of whatsoever of mental illnesses and the way they affect those suffering from them. and she wants to "help" mentally ill people for a living. it is her "passion," and she thinks she has some kind of "gift" for it. I can't. I can't even.

Edited February 12, 2017 by supaflyskye

[AZChristian]

According to the EEOC, APPLICANTS can't be asked medical-related questions.  Once there is a job offer, THEN they can ask.  

Back in the stone age when I was first entering the job market, women were often asked things like, "What type of birth control do you use?"  And I was badgered during an interview with assertions that I wouldn't be able to work in the evenings because I had two small children, and who would take care of them?  Uh, their father.  "Oh, he won't want to be tied down every evening while you're gone."  But our intentional plan was to stagger our work hours to cut down on babysitting costs.

As I said . . . this was back in the stone age.

[ClareWalks]

41 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

And I was badgered during an interview with assertions that I wouldn't be able to work in the evenings because I had two small children, and who would take care of them?  Uh, their father.  "Oh, he won't want to be tied down every evening while you're gone."

OMG. Nobody says that about stay-at-home moms, that they're "tied down every day" (although it is accurate). Unreal.

[notyrmomma]

I wanted to chime in on the leggings discussion because I'm a recent convert.  I was very much in the leggings aren't pants category until my neighbor started selling Lularoe.  They are known for their leggings, but they also sell tops that are modest and cut to cover your butt.  They make their clothes in plus sizes, but I doubt Whitney would wear them because they are meant to cover you up - as in your chest and butt don't hang out.  I can't wear leggings to work, but I have worn that brand's dresses before with a blazer as my office's definition of "office casual" is that you don't have to wear a business suit every day, unless you are seeing clients or have a meeting with the executives (then full suit).

[notyrmomma]

18 hours ago, auntjess said:

I can understand the medications question, because you'd need to control a large animal.
Not quite the same as a vehicle of machinery, but still something that you'd not want to do if you were taking something that would make you less alert.

How would an employer know all the side effects of a medication (well, unless the employer is a doctor)?  I could see requiring an employee to get a medical certificate that says that he or she is fit to perform the duties of the job.  Truck drivers have to get them.  My husband has a nerve disorder (trigeminal neuralgia) and and his work made him get medical clearance to perform his job in commercial refrigeration.  He would never disclose the huge list of the medications he is on to anyone other than another doctor.

Edited February 13, 2017 by notyrmomma

[mamadrama]

6 hours ago, notyrmomma said:

How would an employer know all the side effects of a medication (well, unless the employer is a doctor)?  I could see requiring an employee to get a medical certificate that says that he or she is fit to perform the duties of the job.  Truck drivers have to get them.  My husband has a nerve disorder (trigeminal neuralgia) and and his work made him get medical clearance to perform his job in commercial refrigeration.  He would never disclose the huge list of the medications he is on to anyone other than another doctor.

I think disclosing a list of meds is unsafe.

[TurtlePower]

On 2/11/2017 at 2:37 PM, supaflyskye said:

hah, yes I agree. I found it to pretty damn perturbing as well.

but I too am actually anorexic, and at the time I was dealing w/ some physical health issues that had resulted in me missing a day of work here & there. though the physical issues I was/am dealing w/ do not have much if anything to do w/ my ED and certainly nothing at all to do w/ my weight...my boss just would not hear that and blamed anything & everything that ever was awry w/ me on "YOU NEED TO EAT!" (◔_◔) like...no...I am sick right now because my blood glucose is through the roof...eating will NOT make that better. it will make it worse. just stop.
ahh I ending up wishing I had not even disclosed my ED to her in the first place...but there was an area on the employment paperwork that asked me to disclose any & all health issues, both mental & physical, and to list all medications I took. like...is that even legal??? I asked her about it, but it only set her off on a huge rant about how "of course it was legal," how she absolutely needed to know these things in order to protect the clients (mostly children, also folks w/ disabilities [they had an equine therapy program]), etc etc...
though when I asked my father (a lawyer) about it after the fact, he seemed to think the legality was questionable...

Feel your pain. The agency I work for has required medicals every 5 years, full work-ups (as well as additional background investigations). Wish I'd never disclosed mine but it's in there now and so far they've never given me any grief over it, even though the people looking at these things are getting really stupid over what is disqualifying.

 

On 2/11/2017 at 1:28 PM, supaflyskye said:

some random examples of what I consider to be "nice"/possibly work appropriate leggings:

^ I have that pair

or even just solid black/other muted colour leggings w/ a nice, long-ish button down shirt, honestly.
just so long as they fit properly (are neither awkwardly baggy nor squeezing you in half), the fabric is nice & not pilling, torn, or otherwise gross looking, they're clean, etc...and of course fully opaque hah.

I really don't have a problem w/ leggings in the workplace at all.
I mean...why even is it that they're not considered appropriate? because they're tight? or because they don't have a fly & pockets?
many companies (like Express for example, and others), are now selling "office leggings" ...which are just, you know, leggings, except they have a faux fly, pockets, and often belt loops & pin tucks even...so they simply look like skin tight slacks.
honestly, I think it is more the lack of pockets/etc that causes them to be viewed as "too casual for the office," rather than the fact that they're tight & stretchy.

These look like some of my running tights. 

I will wear tights but they're usually black with a subdued pattern paired with a longish sweater and tall boots.

[crazycatlady58]

I do not care for leggings  myself. I do not like tight clothes  and they all look like they would  be very constricting .  As for wearing  them to work  they just  seem to casual  for most places ,  but I am old and somewhat  conservative  so there is that . 

[SongbirdHollow]

I'm fat and over 50 and I think solid color leggings worn with boots and a tunic are fine. Those patterned ones posted above are for the gym only no matter how thin you are IMO. That said I wear scrubs to work so I don't think about clothing much.

[mamadrama]

On 2/13/2017 at 0:07 PM, SongbirdHollow said:

I'm fat and over 50 and I think solid color leggings worn with boots and a tunic are fine. Those patterned ones posted above are for the gym only no matter how thin you are IMO. That said I wear scrubs to work so I don't think about clothing much.

Those looked like gym leggings to me as well. Nice and colorful, but not office attire. 

I think leggings are fine as long you have, like you said, a tunic or a long shirt over them-something that covers your butt. I wouldn't wear panty hose or tights that only came down to my waist-I feel the same about leggings. That is what I mean when I say they're "not pants." I see them as something worn to cover your legs underneath an over-sized top, not articles of clothing used to replace traditional trousers when you're wearing a top that only extends to your waistline. As someone said above, no matter how thin you are, they show stuff. Stuff that I don't particularly want to see, not even on myself. 

Edited February 14, 2017 by mamadrama

[Ocean Chick]

I work in the fashion industry.  I, myself, work in accounting, so that I dress more conservatively.  Meaning trousers and nice jeans.  I'd never wear leggings.  Some of the people on the more creative side of business do wear leggings, but always with a longer over-sized shirt or tunic.  Never with anything that doesn't cover the butt.  It just isn't right.

[Dot]

I can't figure out where some of your discussion comes from.  But I've never watched one of those "enhanced" re-runs cuz seeing an episode once :) as been plenty for me. Is there really enuf new stuff in those enhancements that I should watch?  Or maybe watch them rather than the first showing?

BTW, I agree completely with the comment about the cats & their litter box. It is CRIMINALLY ABUSIVE to those animals that she doesn't clean the box at least once daily. And with 2 cats, I agree there should be 2 boxes.

I came from IMDb which closed its message boards. I enjoy the post-MBFFL commentary more than the show itself, so was glad to find this message board. May I ask: how do I respond to one of yr comments? (I can't figure out those little icons at the bottom of the comment.)

[AZChristian]

If you want to quote another poster in your response, click the first icon from the left.  If you want to quote multiple people, use the second icon.  To report a post, use the third icon (it goes to the mods).  And the heart on the right is a "like" button.  

To just respond, there's a box that says "Respond."  It's pretty easy.  And the mods here keep this from being a free-for-all (which IMDB tended to be).

[Minivanessa]

1 hour ago, SongbirdHollow said:

OK you guys have got me paranoid. I don't need an extender so I have always assumed my fit is not a problem, but I'm about to buy tickets for my first red eye to Europe. I'm already concerned about being able to sleep on the plane. If I were to buy the middle seat between me and my husband, how does that even work? Do I put my name on both seats? Every seat needs a name, right?

I was planning to buy the window and the aisle and hope nobody booked the middle. If they did, I was counting on them switching to their choice of window or aisle so my husband and I would be next to each other. Now I wonder if I should splurge and book the row. Wish I could afford business class!

This is from another topic where we'd gotten off into airplane seat issues.

If you're flying Icelandair, they have a class called "economy comfort." The seats are the same as economy - 3 on each side of the aisle. But in Economy Comfort, they don't sell the middle seat. I wish I'd paid the extra $$ for that when I flew to the UK a year or so ago. Icelandair's flights all connect through Reykjavik. My flight from the Western US to Reykjavik was the looong leg, and outbound I was lucky in that the middle seat was empty. It was comfortable to have the extra elbow and knee room for that 8+ hours. The relatively short flight from Reykjavik to the UK was full but that wasn't a big deal. But OMG, that flight home - that looong flight from Iceland! The plane was totally full, I was in steerage aka economy, and my aging SI joint/hip was yelling at me long before we landed. I swear, never again. No more cramped steerage flights of that many hours. I'm just too old.

Anyway, don't know what airline you're flying but you should ask them if you can buy three seats for the two of you. Do you have a tricky knee or does your hubs have a hinky back or something you can cite as a reason for needing the additional wiggle room? I don't know that airlines need that info to sell you the row, I'm just brainstorming here. Because, see above, a touchy SI joint in an aging body. Sigh.

Funny story about my flight home from the UK that I mentioned above. While waiting to board our plane in London (and of course it was delayed), there was a couple sitting near me who for some reason I found sort of annoying. I don't remember much about them now, they were middle aged and I think he was kind of a know-it-all and she was a grouch. So, we board the plane at last, I take my assigned (window) seat, and of course - that couple had the other two seats. We kind of smiled and acknowledged each other. And then, Mr. Obnoxious actually asked if I would switch seats with him and kinda mansplained how convenient an aisle seat would be for me. I declined, firmly. Sheesh, dude, if I wanted the fecking aisle seat I woulda booked it. Fortunately that was the fairly short flight, to Iceland. And they weren't seated next to me on the long leg. That would have added irritation to the physical pain.

Someone mentioned how often they are seated next to big people on flights. I seem to have cornered the market on strange and/or obnoxious folks. Although I have had many pleasant seatmates. I suppose the strange and obnoxious ones tend to stand out more in my memory.

[Pachengala]

We're flying Icelandair to London for our big fat Greek wedding in May, and we booked the entire row because our toddler will be flying in her own seat for the first time! Anyway, @Jeeves I'm sending you virtual high-fives for turning that mansplainer down; a lot of people, women especially, give in because it's easier than saying no, and those kinds of dudes just get more and more entitled. So thank you!

[TurtlePower]

4 minutes ago, Pachengala said:

We're flying Icelandair to London for our big fat Greek wedding in May, and we booked the entire row because our toddler will be flying in her own seat for the first time! Anyway, @Jeeves I'm sending you virtual high-fives for turning that mansplainer down; a lot of people, women especially, give in because it's easier than saying no, and those kinds of dudes just get more and more entitled. So thank you!

Oh hell no! l explain to people that staring out the window keeps my panic disorder/social anxiety at bay. You're pretty much guaranteed to be left alone the rest of the flight. 

[AZChristian]

I fit fine in my seat (in spite of the fact that I'm a bit fluffy), but I have a medical condition.  I am prone to anxiety attacks, which are sometimes exacerbated by claustrophobia.  If Whit (or someone of her size) sat next to me on a plane and expected me to share my seat (by lifting the arm rest), I would definitely feel that I was being discriminated against if I were expected to accommodate them, ignoring my own medical condition.  

I do get to pre-board now because of a knee replacement.  Because we fly on Southwest (no assigned seating), hubby and I choose aisle seats across from each other.  People who are large usually don't choose center or window seats, so there hasn't been an issue.  But this little old lady can stand her ground, if necessary.

[SongbirdHollow]

19 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I fit fine in my seat (in spite of the fact that I'm a bit fluffy), but I have a medical condition.  I am prone to anxiety attacks, which are sometimes exacerbated by claustrophobia.  If Whit (or someone of her size) sat next to me on a plane and expected me to share my seat (by lifting the arm rest), I would definitely feel that I was being discriminated against if I were expected to accommodate them, ignoring my own medical condition.  

I do get to pre-board now because of a knee replacement.  Because we fly on Southwest (no assigned seating), hubby and I choose aisle seats across from each other.  People who are large usually don't choose center or window seats, so there hasn't been an issue.  But this little old lady can stand her ground, if necessary.

I get claustrophobic as well. We've also booked two aisle seats in the past but for this sleeping flight hubby wants the window. 

Probably we are flying United. Possibly Aer Lingus. 

[Minivanessa]

1 hour ago, Pachengala said:

We're flying Icelandair to London for our big fat Greek wedding in May, and we booked the entire row because our toddler will be flying in her own seat for the first time! Anyway, @Jeeves I'm sending you virtual high-fives for turning that mansplainer down; a lot of people, women especially, give in because it's easier than saying no, and those kinds of dudes just get more and more entitled. So thank you!

Hon, I practiced law for 30+ years before I retired. I've had a few entitled jerks for breakfast in my day. 

OK, I'm not a rough and tough person, but I did transcend a lot of learned feminine social behaviors, and stood my ground. I still remember one day when I was a young, wet-behind-the-ears public defender (when women were still kinda rare in the ranks), at a routine morning docket with a preliminary hearing in a case I had. I was entitled to discovery - it was pretty informal in those cases - which essentially meant I got to see the DA's evidence that they had against my client.

[I've edited this because some details of the event have finally popped up from memory - this was nearly 40 years ago, lol!]  This case turned on a driving-while-license-revoked charge that was serious; there was no accident and no other violations charged, but my client allegedly had had his license revoked. The Deputy DA had a guy from the driver license agency there, with this file, to provide the proof required for the case to get past preliminary hearing. I introduced myself to the guy so he knew who I was, and he was pleasant, and let me look at the file he had brought, which was my client's licensing file. Then the Deputy DA on the case stomped up to where we were sitting, yelled at me, and actually grabbed the file out of my hands.

I didn't rise to the bait by getting angry, or upset. I just politely left them. [I think the bastard expected me to start crying or something; I was young and female and all. Heh. ] But in that file I had already seen that certain notices had been mailed to a wrong address.

Thus, a few minutes later when court convened for the hearing and the DDA put on his witness from the drivers license agency about the suspension, I was able on cross exam to show the agency had notice of a new address but sent all the legally critical sh*t to the old one. Result: case dismissed. 

Heh. And the fun part came later, via the courthouse grapevine. The judge who heard (and dismissed) that case, was a former DDA who often played cards at lunch with some of the DA's office attorneys. That day at lunch, the DDA who was so rude to me was actually crowing and bragging about how "I really showed that [Jeeves] what was what this morning when she wanted to see the file."

To which the judge replied, "Oh, you mean in that case where I granted her motion to dismiss?"

Followed by much laughter at Rude DDA's expense.

Good times.

Edited February 24, 2017 by Jeeves
clarity about the events

[mamadrama]

I hate that Whitney hashtagged the Instagram photo with #nobs, as though implying that it WOULD be "shaming" her if the person beside her complained or wasn't compliant. 

I travel with my children quite frequently. When they were babies we would always pay for an extra seat, just to give us more room to spread out. Although I was always grateful when the other passengers did something to help out (perhaps moving down an extra seat or even holding my bag while I tried to organize things) I certainly never asked or expected it. Indeed, I went out of MY way to ensure that the people around me were not inconvenienced by my choice to bring my child on the flight. Her sense of entitlement, that everyone needs to make allowances for her and appease her or else they're shaming her, drives me insane. 

[SongbirdHollow]

On February 24, 2017 at 3:15 PM, SongbirdHollow said:

I get claustrophobic as well. We've also booked two aisle seats in the past but for this sleeping flight hubby wants the window. 

Probably we are flying United. Possibly Aer Lingus. 

Replying to myself in case anyone cares what I decided, LOL. The claustrophobia was the greatest concern so I booked us two aisle seats across from one another both ways. For this particular plane, there is just no good option. It's a single aisle plane so it's gonna be cramped any way you look at it. And Seat Guru says the aisle seats have equipment boxes underneath, so legroom is also restricted (I'm 5'9", he's 6'2".) If only airline seats were as comfy as Amtrak. At least our accommodations in Ireland are going to be 5-star!

[aliya]

On 2/11/2017 at 4:17 PM, Tosia said:

IMHO, leggings, without a top covering the butt , are too revealing in a professional or any kind of (non-exercise)  work environment cuz they're usually skin-tight, showing every lump and bump--even on skinny folks. Just not a way to be classy or chic. 

Leggings are cute under a tunic or longer top, but otherwise, they'  re kind of like wearing a sports bra without a t-shirt, like Whit does EVERYWHERE. 

I work on a college campus and take a campus bus from the parking lot to my building. Along the way we stop at some student apartments. It gets kinda crowded, so I'm sitting down while they end up standing up. Many of the young things wear leggings. Trust me, I don't care if you are a size 0, I do not want your lady parts at face level. No. Put a shirt or skirt on.

[John M]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Tal? Todd? Is that you?

How awesome would it be to have a double agent on the board...

Oh gawd no, men are just horny people in general. It was a house party with a bunch of gay men, straight girls and one straight guy. We were joking around and one of the straight girls said she would let him fuck her right then if he let a gay guy blow him.

It was all a joke until he signed on and said he was actually seriously willing to go for that. A deal is a deal so I blew him and then he fucked the shit out of that girl immediately after in my bed before I was out of the room.

I regret nothing.

[Tosia]

I would watch your show,  John M.

[Pachengala]

42 minutes ago, John M said:

[...]one of the straight girls said she would let him fuck her right then if he let a gay guy blow him.

I mean though, who wouldn't take that deal? 

[mamadrama]

5 hours ago, John M said:

Oh gawd no, men are just horny people in general. It was a house party with a bunch of gay men, straight girls and one straight guy. We were joking around and one of the straight girls said she would let him fuck her right then if he let a gay guy blow him.

It was all a joke until he signed on and said he was actually seriously willing to go for that. A deal is a deal so I blew him and then he fucked the shit out of that girl immediately after in my bed before I was out of the room.

I regret nothing.

That show would be a lot more interesting than the one we are seeing.

[polandspring]

19 hours ago, greekmom said:

 

Uh no. This is TLC.  I can see the following storyline.  Twitney and social barnacles go to Hawaii.  Say for a BGDC special episode.

Contrived plots:  Twit complaining on seats on the flight.  How seats are too small and life is unfair and seats should be bigger for big people.  When Twit arrives and gets a “lay” and Twit saying that look how hot she is and being hit on. Twit tries to hike the legendary Na Pali coast and complains that she is in pain from walking 200 meters.  Twit going to learn Hawaiian dance and complaining that she cannot do the moves and they are picking on her on purpose.  Twit saying how unfair she cannot do the Kohala Waterfalls because she cannot climb.  Twit complaining how unfair it is she cannot participate by going on a kayak tour due to her size.  Then as a final she participates in the Hawaiian luau and keeps saying how this is such a special occasion and she goes all out and eats but tells everyone not to tell Wil.

Why are you giving this away online for free when you could be writing for TLC?!

12 hours ago, John M said:

Oh gawd no, men are just horny people in general. It was a house party with a bunch of gay men, straight girls and one straight guy. We were joking around and one of the straight girls said she would let him fuck her right then if he let a gay guy blow him.

It was all a joke until he signed on and said he was actually seriously willing to go for that. A deal is a deal so I blew him and then he fucked the shit out of that girl immediately after in my bed before I was out of the room.

I regret nothing.

I'm convinced that straight guy engineered this scenario.  It's too perfect for him.