supaflyskye
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Small Talk: About Big People
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
wow! That is so interesting! I've never really thought about there being a true "cruise" ship out there which welcomes dogs & has kennels on board. That would be so awesome to do one day. I'm a cruise fan myself as well. My dad absolutely loves travel, so when I was growing up we traveled a lot as a family both nationally & internationally, including cruising. My dad was actually always pretty resistant to cruises, he didn't think he'd enjoy them...but my grandmother had always wanted to take one w/ the family, so in IIRC 2000 (maybe '01), when I was 7-8 years old, we went on our first cruise -- 14 days through the Panama Canal -- the whole family was hooked! After that, we ended up going on...probably about 15(+) cruises in various parts of the world. At this point though, I haven't been on one since 2011...I've actually not even traveled outside the country at all I don't think since 2012 ...fun things like that are harder to do as a broke-ass adult, hah! Somewhat related to the topic of cruises ...my brother is currently in school at a maritime college, studying marine transportation; and each year as a part of his schooling, he does a full "sea term" -- a couple months spent working & studying on the school's training ship as it travels around the globe. It's such cool stuff he's doing up there. =) -
Social Media: What's Up With Her?
supaflyskye replied to ClareWalks's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
that's not to get a BMI measurement, but a body fat percentage measurement. and it's really the only truly accurate way to do so. -
S04.E11: Big Girl in the Big Apple
supaflyskye replied to OnceSane's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
I know that I am WAY late to all of this (just finally got around to watching some of the more recent episodes today though), and I've yet to read the whole thread...so forgive me if my post is totally off in left field... perhaps...I should refrain from posting at all...at least until I finish reading through the thread... but aah I have virtually no self control whatsoever apparently, so... RE the bed sharing -- it's a personal preference...I would not say as a panacea that sleeping in the same bed as someone you're not in a relationship w/ is always "ick." I mean, I personally do NOT tend to be a particularly "cuddly sleeper," at all...and I tend to thrash around quite a bit throughout the night ...but w/ people I know well & feel very comfortable w/, I'm okay w/ it...sometimes. Hah! I remember one time that me + my SO + my FtM trans best friend (though this was ages ago, before he started transitioning) AND my (fairly large) dog all spent a night cuddled up in the same queen size bed. xP And despite being packed in there like sardines, we all slept just fine! Though, I do not at all fault Todd for not wanting to spent 2-3(+?) nights in the same bed as our dear Whitney... Personal sleeping preferences aside, that bed does certainly not look very large -- certainly no bigger than a queen size, if not possibly even only a full size...particularly if one likes/needs to have a lot of room to sleep comfortably, I imagine having Whitney in that bed w/ you would make getting a good night's sleep quite difficult...especially w/ her insistence on wanting to cuddle/snuggle. O_o Perhaps Todd was eventually able to acquire a roll-away trundle cot to sleep on...I don't believe they ever mentioned in the episode what ended up coming of his requests for an extra bed... ^^ I certainly hope so for his sake. -
Body Shaming and Name Calling: Do words really damage?
supaflyskye replied to notyrmomma's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
I fucking FEEL you man. though I am truly not a fan of all this "trigger" bullshit (which is closely related to the concept of "shaming") -- people being "triggered" by literally anything & everything & getting all butthurt over it online; I do have to admit, that is one thing I personally find extremely "triggering" -- comments (especially positive comments for some reason?) on my body when I've gained weight. like, last spring I gained a bunch of weight -- like 30-35lbs, all the way up to a "healthy" weight... and my boss & all the other employees where I was working (I swear my boss must've put them up to it) were constantly bombarding me w/ comments on it. I'd walk into the barn (I'm a professional riding instructor/horse trainer) and the first thing I'd immediately hear was was a barrage of comments, "oh my god you look so BEAUTIFUL!" "so much BETTER," "so HEALTHY," "so HAPPY," "you're GLOWING!" and etc, etc, etc. =/ like...NO...I am not "better," I'm not "happy," I'm not "healthy" ...I am consuming ~15000cal/day, every day, my blood sugar is probably going to put me in a coma, and I have never been so goddamn miserable in my life, and you are NOT helping. I just HATED hearing all that crap every day...it made me want to crawl into a hole & die right then & there. sorry, I know this is really not directly related to the OP...but I just had to empathize. I hope you're doing better now in regards to your ED, Runnergirl. -
Body Shaming and Name Calling: Do words really damage?
supaflyskye replied to notyrmomma's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
sorry to dredge up an old-ish thread, but I only joined recently & I really do wish to contribute to this topic. I haven't finished the whole thread yet, so if this has already been covered, do forgive me... but I feel, generally speaking, that NO -- words cannot do any real harm to a person unless one chooses to let said words do damage. in most instances, it all comes down to your reaction/response to hurtful words...my dad has told me ever since I was a young child, "you cannot control other people, their feelings or their actions, BUT you can absolutely control how you RESPOND to the actions of others." that being said, I DO believe that there are occasional exceptions to this. like ex. if the "hurtful" words are coming from a person who one has a close loving relationship w/, feels able to depend on for comfort, and holds the opinions of in very high regard; and especially if the words hit on a subject one is already sensitive/insecure about and/or one is blindsided & completely unprepared to receive the harsh "criticism" ...I do not think I'm explaining it very well...but, like one's parent/s or parental figure/s (if one has the above described sort of relationship w/ one's parents), or perhaps one's significant other, for an example. but in most circumstances, I believe that harsh words can only really do long-term damage to a person if said person chooses to let the words do damage. & of course, some folks are more inclined to make those damaging choices...and in some cases may not even realize that they do have the option to react in a way such that the harsh words do no damage. may edit in more later, as I'm not in a good way right now & so am not even quite sure this post makes any proper sense ...but that's about the gist of my feelings on the matter. -
yet Whitney claims that she wants nought to do w/ fat fetishizers!?
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Small Talk: About Big People
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
hah...I suppose...in theory. however, she was much more interested in the actual diagnoses than the meds. like, I'd listed my "health issues" (after asking her about the legality, she was kind of walking me through all the paperwork) and then got to the question about medications...and I told her that I took several antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds (did not disclose that I was a recovering IV opiate addict on buprenorphine ORT -- glad I didn't, and I really don't see why it's any of her business!), and she was basically just like "oh, well, I don't really need specifics for that! you can just put something like 'depression/anxiety meds' or something generic like that on there. I just put that whole section there to help keep out anyone who might pose a danger." ah, yes, don't want anyone w/ one of those "dangerous" mental illnesses. (◔_◔) ETA: the crazy thing is -- this woman is/was going to school to get her masters in social work so she can become a THERAPIST. like oh my goodness she has no concept of whatsoever of mental illnesses and the way they affect those suffering from them. and she wants to "help" mentally ill people for a living. it is her "passion," and she thinks she has some kind of "gift" for it. I can't. I can't even. -
Small Talk: About Big People
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
trust me...if it would be at all actually worth suing her, I would have already (just in small claims court at least)...she still owes me like $2k+ in unpaid wages (and a bit for some expensive equipment I'd loaned her that was lost/damaged). =/ she's nearly as broke as I am though. she just recently lost the services of both her veterinarian & farrier because she'd run up such truly enormous tabs and never made any progress in paying them, they only got bigger & bigger. she/her business are really just skating by on the skin of her teeth. but yeah...I feel ya though... honestly, I suspect I was "laid off" from my job prior to that one (also at a barn) in some part because of my autism spectrum disorder/"symptoms" of it. not that it actually affected my work at ALL...my boss was just...kind of...one of those people? I could go on for paragraphs about him, but I won't. one quick ex. (quickest I can think of to share anyway): I have very poor facial expressions (ASD related I figure), just in general -- I most usually am entirely unaware of what exactly my face is doing, and my reactive expressions very rarely end up being situationally appropriate ...and my "resting" (?) face I guess I must have most of the time when I'm working is apparently...not very pleasant? I don't look happy? I guess? and my boss one day really went off on me about it -- had a whole long rant about how I looked miserable all the time, I was negatively representing his business, clients were asking if I was "okay" because I always looked so disturbed, etc, etc, on & on. and he mandated that if I was from then on to have a smile on my face at all times while working. and after that, he'd frequently scream at me, "SKYE! FIX YOUR FUCKING FACE! RIGHT NOW!" "YOUR FACE DAMNIT!" "SKYE! FACE! no, not like that! yes, that's better, that's what it should look like; practice that." and such things as that. like I said, that's just one example... he tended to just generally very displeased w/ a lot characteristics & mannerisms I have presumably as a result of being on the autistic spectrum ...and really was just kind of crazy in general -- he once made me run around outside the riding ring and chase the squirrels away every time they got near. hah! we had some kamikaze squirrels that were continually running into the ring RIGHT in the horses' path immediately in front of their feet while he was riding, and it was REALLY upsetting him. xP I was told I was being "laid off," because this other girl who'd worked there the longest of anyone & had always been working for "free" (in exchange for rent + horse board + riding lessons), was now insisting on being paid, since us other employees who'd been hired since were doing the same work & getting the same things in exchange, except we were getting paid as well. and they really liked her and wanted to be able to keep her on, but they couldn't afford to keep all of us if she was going to need compensation as well, so they had to let one person go: me. but I don't know...that whole thing was kind of strange to me... because I was let go while ON VACATION, after my employers had made such a HUGE deal about how they could not possibly manage to get by at the barn w/o me for more than a week at most (I'd initially hoped for a bit longer vacation), and that they could absolutely not give me any longer of a (unpaid) vacation than that. then they let me go while I was gone. weird. so...I dunno...I do feel like one notable factor may have possibly been how much some of my ASD related characteristics irritated my boss... but I would not ever sue them either! because all that aside, they gave me a decent severance cheque and have been a great reference for me. xD I'm sorry that happened to you w/ your former company, that's really very unfortunate. it sounds like it all ended up working out eventually though! so that's good at least. -
Small Talk: About Big People
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
hah, yes I agree. I found it to pretty damn perturbing as well. but I too am actually anorexic, and at the time I was dealing w/ some physical health issues that had resulted in me missing a day of work here & there. though the physical issues I was/am dealing w/ do not have much if anything to do w/ my ED and certainly nothing at all to do w/ my weight...my boss just would not hear that and blamed anything & everything that ever was awry w/ me on "YOU NEED TO EAT!" (◔_◔) like...no...I am sick right now because my blood glucose is through the roof...eating will NOT make that better. it will make it worse. just stop. ahh I ending up wishing I had not even disclosed my ED to her in the first place...but there was an area on the employment paperwork that asked me to disclose any & all health issues, both mental & physical, and to list all medications I took. like...is that even legal??? I asked her about it, but it only set her off on a huge rant about how "of course it was legal," how she absolutely needed to know these things in order to protect the clients (mostly children, also folks w/ disabilities [they had an equine therapy program]), etc etc... though when I asked my father (a lawyer) about it after the fact, he seemed to think the legality was questionable... -
Small Talk: About Big People
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
some random examples of what I consider to be "nice"/possibly work appropriate leggings: ^ I have that pair or even just solid black/other muted colour leggings w/ a nice, long-ish button down shirt, honestly. just so long as they fit properly (are neither awkwardly baggy nor squeezing you in half), the fabric is nice & not pilling, torn, or otherwise gross looking, they're clean, etc...and of course fully opaque hah. I really don't have a problem w/ leggings in the workplace at all. I mean...why even is it that they're not considered appropriate? because they're tight? or because they don't have a fly & pockets? many companies (like Express for example, and others), are now selling "office leggings" ...which are just, you know, leggings, except they have a faux fly, pockets, and often belt loops & pin tucks even...so they simply look like skin tight slacks. honestly, I think it is more the lack of pockets/etc that causes them to be viewed as "too casual for the office," rather than the fact that they're tight & stretchy. -
Small Talk: About Big People
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
I'm a little bit surprised that so many of y'all seem to be basically in agreement the there are NO leggings out there which are EVER appropriate in the office, in any even "business casual" situation. like...hm... maybe it's just because I'm thin?? but when I worked in an office (title company), there were certainly many times I wore leggings to work, sometimes even w/ a short/standard length shirt (like not a long, tunic type top that covered my butt), and was never told it was not appropriate (& my parents worked in the attached law office next door, I saw them every day & I KNOW they would have not hesitated to tell me if I was wearing something of questionable work appropriateness). granted, the very same standard of dress which applied to most of the other employees did not necessarily apply to me, because I was just a lowly filing assistant and thus never seen by clients, but still I was definitely expected to stick to at least "business casual," was only allowed to wear jeans or regular T-shirts on "casual Fridays," etc. I mean...I have some damn NICE looking pairs of leggings, some that I wouldn't think twice about wearing to the office, or bat an eye at if I saw someone else wearing them in a business setting. SIDE NOTE: RE the whole matter of fat people being "discriminated" against in what they are allowed to wear in work settings (which was brought up very briefly on this page) -- i.e. a thin person could get away w/ something more "revealing" while a fat person would be told the same clothing was "inappropriate" -- I have personally experienced the OPPOSITE! as I said on the last page, I am a professional riding instructor/horse trainer... and my last job, which was of course at a barn, IMO had a "dress code" (or lack thereof) which was quite casual even for a barn -- like normally especially working as an instructor I would ALWAYS be wearing, and I think would be expected to wear, riding breeches w/ either a polo or button down shirt, tucked in, just because that is what I feel is appropriate & what I am used to being considered appropriate...I want to look professional, ya know? but this barn had NO dress code whatsoever, neither for employees nor clients, aside from needing to have close-toed shoes on (of course). the other instructors/employees were always wearing things like leggings, short shorts, T-shirts, tank tops, etc; and while for some months after I started working there, I DID stick to just breeches + polos or button downs, after a while I lapsed into just wearing the casual clothes that everyone else was wearing. BUT -- I was once told off for my attire by my employer, when I came in wearing a tank top (like a "wifebeater" style -- w/ thick straps, not spaghetti straps), w/ leggings. there was no cleavage showing, or anything like that. I was basically told that I should not be wearing such formfitting clothing, because I was too thin -- that it set a poor example for the children I was teaching, that parents were concerned about it (thinking I was on drugs, or horribly ill, or something, or whatever), and that it made people "uncomfortable," and was not appropriate. HOWEVER, the other instructor working there, who was QUITE overweight, often wore the SAME exact types of clothing and suffered NO reproach whatsoever! I swear, I don't think I EVER saw her wearing anything but leggings, she wore them every day! at one point, my boss even told me that if I did not gain some weight that I may be at risk of losing my continued employment there. O_o I assure you, no such comments were EVER made to the extremely overweight instructor. things can go both ways... I'm sorry, this whole post was rather off-topic. sorry. -
Whitney Thore: So She Thinks She Can Dance
supaflyskye replied to Meredith Quill's topic in My Big Fat Fabulous Life
I have not read the most recent couple pages, and I do not know if the episode w/ her on the horse has aired yet, I know people have been talking about it already... but I just joined, specifically to say that I am downright freaking APPALLED that she would be allowed on a horse. Judging by what we see of her mount, he/she is NOT a draft type or even a particularly large animal. literally, I am absolutely HORRIFIED. I am an avid equestrian, and a professional riding instructor/trainer. I have worked as an instructor at a facility w/ a therapeutic riding program, and I can absolutely assure you that even for the disabled riders who were just being led around at a walk w/ sidewalkers on each side, we did absolutely NEVER allow anyone who weighed over 20% of the horse's weight to even sit on a horse. We had a lovely Belgian draft mare (who was 18.1-2hh & IIRC weighed in at around ~1900lbs) for larger riders, so we could accommodate a wide range of body types, but still there were definitely times when we were forced to draw a line w/ clients & not allow them on a horse. ETA: we did also have a ramp platform to allow disabled riders to mount the horses w/ greater ease. I would be interested to know the name of the barn she rode at, because for any barn/owner to allow her on a horse's back is 100% completely unethical behaviour. Not only would it put the horse at grave risk, but it presents a great potential danger for Whitney herself. As someone that big (and w/ that high a body fat percentage...and that does not have experience riding), it is completely impossible for her to have the necessary balance & core + leg strength to do even the very most basic activities on horseback, especially not w/ anything vaguely resembling competency. truly, I am just positively enraged that anyone would allow someone of her size & experience level on a horse, especially such a small/finely built one (i.e. not a large draft). I'm sure TLC paid them no small amount of money to orchestrate this travesty...but jesus christ...how appallingly unethical.