Michaella and Brandon: He Writes Fairy Tales

[lookeyloo]

1 minute ago, Meow Mix said:

Wow, Michael could make a great living as a seamstress.  It's a shame she doesn't do that instead of focusing on her fertility.  She would find much more satisfaction with a focus like this.

Were they at Zach and Whit's house?  I know they are into barn doors and their house is pretty big.  Or maybe they rented a church fellowship hall.

Honestly I don't think she would - she is the mother hen to all of them, seems most maternal and has lived for the day of her own child/ren.  Just my opinion but I think whatever she does gives her some satisfaction and then she is back to her childlessness.

[awaken]

Is she still pursuing nursing school or has that gone by the wayside?

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, awaken said:

Is she still pursuing nursing school or has that gone by the wayside?

She's done with school. She said she wouldn't pursue an RN and has been cagey when talking about working as an LPN. 

[SMama]

5 minutes ago, awaken said:

Is she still pursuing nursing school or has that gone by the wayside?

She is a LVN and it doesn’t look like she’s going for the RN.

IIRC Michael said she pursued the degree to do things such as help care for her elderly grandparents. 🙄

Edited March 7, 2023 by SMama

[awaken]

2 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

She's done with school. She said she wouldn't pursue an RN and has been cagey when talking about working as an LPN. 

Well, that was predictably short lived. 

[andromeda331]

4 hours ago, SMama said:

She is a LVN and it doesn’t look like she’s going for the RN.

IIRC Michael said she pursued the degree to do things such as help care for her elderly grandparents. 🙄

That's a lot of work and money for that.

[Meow Mix]

Yet another reason this cult is the worst.  Michael has so much to offer and instead can only focus on her infertility.  This is not healthy for her mentally.  She needs to be working on something other than having a baby.  Unfortunately, no one in her family is going to encourage that.  I guess she will eventually take care of her parents in their old age much like she looked after Kelly's mother and her husband during the pandemic.  Kelly of course did nothing.

[zenme]

1 minute ago, Meow Mix said:

Yet another reason this cult is the worst.  Michael has so much to offer and instead can only focus on her infertility.  This is not healthy for her mentally.  She needs to be working on something other than having a baby.  Unfortunately, no one in her family is going to encourage that.  I guess she will eventually take care of her parents in their old age much like she looked after Kelly's mother and her husband during the pandemic.  Kelly of course did nothing.

No, because Kelly was busy at home "raising" kids, dontcha know?

[GeeGolly]

Michaela has her online store selling homemade blankets and such - but, it is for babies.

For my not-in-a-cult sister struggling with fertility issues and then coming to terms with not having children was very much like the grieving process. After she cycled through the stages a couple of times, she would occasionally be hit with sadness or anger, but life still happens and you just move forward.

I'm sure its harder for Michaela, but Brandon appears to be very supportive and Michaela appears to be happy and busy and seems to love her nieces and nephews.

[Kiss my mutt]

There’s a pretty good market for civil war reenactment costumes in Tennessee et al. She could make pretty good money doing that. (Not that I’m endorsing that!)

[Meow Mix]

That is true.  I had a coworker who did reenactments regularly.  Getting the correct clothing took a lot of time and effort.  The dress she made is gorgeous.  She probably has the skill to work somewhere like Williamsburg if she worked at it.

[floridamom]

Sadly, Michael seems like a talented woman and will never have the opportunity to fulfill her potential much like her siblings. She is wasting her life away pining about having a baby. Now, I understand being unable to have a child of your own body, many women suffer this and make it through; adoption, fostering, etc OR have other fulfillments outside of their house in a career, volunteer opportunities, etc. Michael is not allowed to step out of their fundamental bubble. I wish she would wake up and use her nurse training in a real job. 

[SMama]

25 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Sadly, Michael seems like a talented woman and will never have the opportunity to fulfill her potential much like her siblings. She is wasting her life away pining about having a baby. Now, I understand being unable to have a child of your own body, many women suffer this and make it through; adoption, fostering, etc OR have other fulfillments outside of their house in a career, volunteer opportunities, etc. Michael is not allowed to step out of their fundamental bubble. I wish she would wake up and use her nurse training in a real job. 

Michael, like Erin and Tori is all the way in, and that is what is probably keeping her from even volunteer work. It makes no sense since she was able to function among the unwashed masses long enough to earn her degree. But getting out there and working among regular people probably frightens her to no end. Too bad she hasn’t realized the days will seem longer, her situation more hopeless, just sitting around waiting for a miracle baby. Working a ridiculous amount of hours is what got me through waiting for SBaby. If I wasn’t at work, I was on call, or running, or working out. It saved me from myself. 

[lookeyloo]

53 minutes ago, SMama said:

Michael, like Erin and Tori is all the way in, and that is what is probably keeping her from even volunteer work. It makes no sense since she was able to function among the unwashed masses long enough to earn her degree. But getting out there and working among regular people probably frightens her to no end. Too bad she hasn’t realized the days will seem longer, her situation more hopeless, just sitting around waiting for a miracle baby. Working a ridiculous amount of hours is what got me through waiting for SBaby. If I wasn’t at work, I was on call, or running, or working out. It saved me from myself. 

that's because you had insight and the mental freedom (not to mention autonomy in general) to do that.  Sadly it appears that she and her kind are not similarly equipped.

[BitterApple]

On 3/8/2023 at 1:14 PM, SMama said:

Michael, like Erin and Tori is all the way in, and that is what is probably keeping her from even volunteer work. 

Michael just did a Q&A. She was asked if she has any plans on getting a job and she said no, but she recently started volunteering. 

Don't get me wrong, volunteering is great, but I'm wondering why she refuses to earn income with her degree? It's one thing to volunteer when your husband is some big time doctor or lawyer, but Brandon works for IBLP. Even if Michael worked part time as a nurse, she could stack a nice chunk of change to put towards fertility treatments, adoption, etc. Is she that deep in the Kool-Aid she thinks God will punish her for having a career? 

Edited May 23, 2023 by BitterApple

[ginger90]

31 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Is she that deep in the Kool-Aid she thinks God will punish her for having a career?

Did she mention what her volunteer work is? That could answer the question, in a way.

[SMama]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Is she that deep in the Kool-Aid she thinks God will punish her for having a career? 

Yes

Michael is so deep in the Cult-Aid that it’s the only thing coursing through her veins. 

[ozziemom]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Did she mention what her volunteer work is? That could answer the question, in a way.

Not that I heard or saw on Instagram. I think she keeps her schedule fairly open so KJ can drop off Jeb & Jud or she can do things with her nieces and nephews 

[cereality]

Not to mention her schedule isn't totally hers to begin with bc she does 2 full days of childcare for Josie's kids. She's said that before. 

Her obsession with a baby is just unhealthy. In yesterday's Q&A on IG someone asks to see her lock screen - it's 2 wedding pics with Brandon + her/Brandon holding the U/S pic from the miscarried pregnancy. I mean I get it she REALLY REALLY wants a baby, but it also seems like she tortures herself. Of course she'll never forget the pregnancy she lost, but IDK keeping a pic of it on your lock screen seems like torturing yourself. Like maybe you do have a day where it's a good day, you don't pine for a child that day bc you're distracted, and then you pick up your phone and oh look here's a U/S pic of the kid you could have had!?

Honestly I think she also harms herself by being SOOO involved with kids. She's said before she volunteers at the church nursery, watches her zillions of nieces/nephews and sometimes when she goes home she breaks down crying over not having their own kid. And like normal people does she have the distraction of work - nope bc she chooses not to pursue nursing and her business is baby blankets - so let's again remind ourselves about how we don't have a baby of our own who'll use this blanket.

[floridamom]

There is absolutely no real reason that these two can't adopt. They could have had 2 or 3 children by now. There are so many children tossed into foster care and are without parents to love them. At this point, IMO, I think it's selfish for them to ignore this opportunity. I know their beliefs are against it with "the sins of their fathers" and all that, (they will never publicly admit this) but a scared, lonely child needs love and security. Perhaps the Lord has been speaking to them adopt and they aren't listening? I tell you all, it really breaks my heart. That would be such a good, unselfish and generous loving thing to do but none of them have done it yet to date. That tells me something about these people.

[cereality]

My sense is that adoption is more about Brandon than Michael, and I also wonder if it's a race issue too.

Brandon works for IBLP, presumably believes all that BS including "sins of the father." Michael OTOH seems like the type who is drawn to any kid whether they are related to her or not. Plus she is the only one of the Bates we've seen who is close to Kelly's adopted sisters - she has said before that she calls Aunt Beth and chats with her. So it doesn't seem like SHE believes an adopted person can't ever be part of the family or that race makes her less part of the family. Frankly my sense is KELLY and some of her other snotty daughters may treat those aunts differently, not Michael.

I wonder if it's a race issue though. In the US these days, it seems like most kids available to adopt are not going to be white. People in my circle [northeast, lawyers] who've adopted say there is a lot of "competition" for white babies and often white babies end up with families that can provide them k-12 top private schools + country club membership and horseback lessons + trips to Europe every summer and all that. My professional circle of lawyers is well to do and even still people feel they can't provide all that is "required."

I wonder if Michael fears that a black baby just will never be treated the same in her family. If it's about the family, I'd say screw your family and do what makes you happy - even if that means you adopt 2-3 kids and have your family, move away even a hr down the road, and you only see Kelly and co. for ILY and the next family wedding. I wonder if Michael feels BRANDON could not love a non white baby or a not blood related baby the same; if that's the case, then yeah SHE Is the one who is stuck because you obviously can't bring a child into a family where his/her own father will treat him as second class.

Honestly I don't sense that Brandon pines for a baby in any way. If they could have them, great. If not, I think he's perfectly happy to be the uncle who engages nieces/nephews at a family party or has them over to spend a Saturday afternoon carving pumpkins and then send them home and enjoy his quiet clean house. Which again means Michael is the one who is stuck pining away while her own husband is like eh it's God's will NBD.

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, cereality said:

My sense is that adoption is more about Brandon than Michael, and I also wonder if it's a race issue too.

Brandon works for IBLP, presumably believes all that BS including "sins of the father." Michael OTOH seems like the type who is drawn to any kid whether they are related to her or not. Plus she is the only one of the Bates we've seen who is close to Kelly's adopted sisters - she has said before that she calls Aunt Beth and chats with her. So it doesn't seem like SHE believes an adopted person can't ever be part of the family or that race makes her less part of the family. Frankly my sense is KELLY and some of her other snotty daughters may treat those aunts differently, not Michael.

I wonder if it's a race issue though. In the US these days, it seems like most kids available to adopt are not going to be white. People in my circle [northeast, lawyers] who've adopted say there is a lot of "competition" for white babies and often white babies end up with families that can provide them k-12 top private schools + country club membership and horseback lessons + trips to Europe every summer and all that. My professional circle of lawyers is well to do and even still people feel they can't provide all that is "required."

I wonder if Michael fears that a black baby just will never be treated the same in her family. If it's about the family, I'd say screw your family and do what makes you happy - even if that means you adopt 2-3 kids and have your family, move away even a hr down the road, and you only see Kelly and co. for ILY and the next family wedding. I wonder if Michael feels BRANDON could not love a non white baby or a not blood related baby the same; if that's the case, then yeah SHE Is the one who is stuck because you obviously can't bring a child into a family where his/her own father will treat him as second class.

Honestly I don't sense that Brandon pines for a baby in any way. If they could have them, great. If not, I think he's perfectly happy to be the uncle who engages nieces/nephews at a family party or has them over to spend a Saturday afternoon carving pumpkins and then send them home and enjoy his quiet clean house. Which again means Michael is the one who is stuck pining away while her own husband is like eh it's God's will NBD.

Your last paragraph reminds me that Brandon didn't seem all that anxious to marry anyone, let alone Michael.  It was a production if I remember correctly, with a lot of encouragement and pining by Michael and pressure from KJ.  I think his sister had something to do with it too.  Am I remembering right?  He is probably happy enough with their life together except for her - how shall I say it - pining for a child to make their (her) life complete.

[ozziemom]

2 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Your last paragraph reminds me that Brandon didn't seem all that anxious to marry anyone, let alone Michael.  It was a production if I remember correctly, with a lot of encouragement and pining by Michael and pressure from KJ.  I think his sister had something to do with it too.  Am I remembering right?  He is probably happy enough with their life together except for her - how shall I say it - pining for a child to make their (her) life complete.

Yes there was a lot of pressure from KJ, that seems to be her standard operating procedure for suitors who aren’t moving at the speed KJ wants for courtships. Brandon has always seemed ok with their life as it is. If there is no baby, must be what god wants for them.

[Heathen]

How many kids are in Brandon's family? 

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, Heathen said:

How many kids are in Brandon's family? 

There's ten. Brandon's the eighth. When he married Michael, none of his older siblings were married. Some have married and were much older then Brandon when he married. One of his sisters who was shown helping Michael with the scavenger proposal in DC had her own apartment and a job. I'm not really sure why Brandon married Michael since he never really seemed that interested.

[LolaGeek]

11 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

I'm not really sure why Brandon married Michael since he never really seemed that interested.

I wonder if it was for career advancement purposes...

[Heathen]

12 minutes ago, LolaGeek said:

I wonder if it was for career advancement purposes...

Or he got bullied into it and figured he might as well. 

[HoneyBeach]

20 hours ago, cereality said:

Not to mention her schedule isn't totally hers to begin with bc she does 2 full days of childcare for Josie's kids. She's said that before. 

Her obsession with a baby is just unhealthy. In yesterday's Q&A on IG someone asks to see her lock screen - it's 2 wedding pics with Brandon + her/Brandon holding the U/S pic from the miscarried pregnancy. I mean I get it she REALLY REALLY wants a baby, but it also seems like she tortures herself. Of course she'll never forget the pregnancy she lost, but IDK keeping a pic of it on your lock screen seems like torturing yourself. Like maybe you do have a day where it's a good day, you don't pine for a child that day bc you're distracted, and then you pick up your phone and oh look here's a U/S pic of the kid you could have had!?

Honestly I think she also harms herself by being SOOO involved with kids. She's said before she volunteers at the church nursery, watches her zillions of nieces/nephews and sometimes when she goes home she breaks down crying over not having their own kid. And like normal people does she have the distraction of work - nope bc she chooses not to pursue nursing and her business is baby blankets - so let's again remind ourselves about how we don't have a baby of our own who'll use this blanket.

As someone with fertility issues, I hear you. But, I hear Michael loud and clear. I always wanted a baby and was pretty obsessed. Lucky for me, I wasn't in a cult and I had to work, so I did have other distractions. But I was around babies as much as I could be. I would drop anything I was doing to watch my nephews, friends babies, anybody who'd let me watch their baby. I actually had a box full of baby clothes I couldn't help myself from buying. So I do understand Michael, but I agree, it's not healthy.

[BitterApple]

16 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Your last paragraph reminds me that Brandon didn't seem all that anxious to marry anyone, let alone Michael.  It was a production if I remember correctly, with a lot of encouragement and pining by Michael and pressure from KJ.  I think his sister had something to do with it too.  Am I remembering right?  He is probably happy enough with their life together except for her - how shall I say it - pining for a child to make their (her) life complete.

IIRC, Michael had her eye on Brandon for a while, but he never noticed her. Brandon's sister gave him a very healthy shove in Michael's direction, Kelly began her machinations and the rest is history. There was one point when Kelly was pushing hard for a proposal. Brandon was hedging because he didn't want to get engaged until he finished school. Perfectly reasonable, but I think Kelly sensed he was getting cold feet and really put the pressure on. When they were planning the wedding, Michael had her heart set on a particular church, however Brandon refused to ask for the day off from work so they could secure it. To say he was a reluctant groom is an understatement. I think he genuinely cares for Michael now, and they have a good friendship but it was a verrrrrryyyyyy slow burn. 

[zenme]

As a teacher who has to see neglected children every day, it's so heartbreaking for me to see people who struggle with fertility and know that it can be so easy for others to bear children--who probably shouldn't even be able to adopt a pet, much less care for a child.  My heart goes out to you and folks like Michael.  Even though I may disagree with some of Michael's core beliefs, I do believe that she and Brandon would love and care for a baby/child. 

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

IIRC, Michael had her eye on Brandon for a while, but he never noticed her. Brandon's sister gave him a very healthy shove in Michael's direction, Kelly began her machinations and the rest is history. There was one point when Kelly was pushing hard for a proposal. Brandon was hedging because he didn't want to get engaged until he finished school. Perfectly reasonable, but I think Kelly sensed he was getting cold feet and really put the pressure on. When they were planning the wedding, Michael had her heart set on a particular church, however Brandon refused to ask for the day off from work so they could secure it. To say he was a reluctant groom is an understatement. I think he genuinely cares for Michael now, and they have a good friendship but it was a verrrrrryyyyyy slow burn. 

And remember when she worked with his sister to surprise him and he accused her of lying about her whereabouts to pull it off?  

[BitterApple]

21 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

And remember when she worked with his sister to surprise him and he accused her of lying about her whereabouts to pull it off?  

Yes, and it wasn't even a jokey "ha ha, you got me!," Brandon was offended, like it was some great betrayal. Hopefully he's loosened up since then. 

[So unbelievable]

Might be for the best that they don't adopt a child to indoctrinate into their cult.  

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, So unbelievable said:

Might be for the best that they don't adopt a child to indoctrinate into their cult.  

💯 agree.

[YupItsMe]

They’ve started a YT channel. 

Looks like they got professional help with it. It was just recommended to me, posted 6 days ago, and they already have almost 17k subscribers.

Edited February 9 by YupItsMe

[awaken]

🥱

[AstridM]

15 hours ago, awaken said:

🥱

Thank god YouTube would never even think to recommend this kind of BS to me. I have it trained better! 🤣

[BetyBee]

I just sobbed my way through Brandon & Michaela's "Our Infertility Journey" video. It really is such a shame that they are not yet parents. They have tried everything and it sounds like adoption may be next for them. They had one pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. They are a very close couple and they work to keep positive. I'm no fan of the Bates, but it has to be so hard for them to see all of these many pregnancies and happy outcomes. I really hope their dream of having children happens one of these days!

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

I just sobbed my way through Brandon & Michaela's "Our Infertility Journey" video. It really is such a shame that they are not yet parents. They have tried everything and it sounds like adoption may be next for them. They had one pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. They are a very close couple and they work to keep positive. I'm no fan of the Bates, but it has to be so hard for them to see all of these many pregnancies and happy outcomes. I really hope their dream of having children happens one of these days!

That video gutted me. It was especially hard watching how deliriously happy Michael was to finally be pregnant, knowing that it wouldn't end well. I also thought the clips of them telling the families were so sweet, especially the way Tori got so excited and ran over to hug her sister. 

I thought Michael was very honest in telling her story. I believe she is genuinely happy for her siblings but she admitted it's hard feeling left out. I'm glad she's set boundaries, as I've always worried about the family taking advantage of her. 

I hope that they're able to become parents one day. I know adoption isn't like ordering Door Dash, where you request a kid and it's on your porch an hour later, but I'm a bit surprised they didn't start pursuing this avenue years ago. 

[ginger90]

Since Jana doesn’t have her name in a thread anymore, I’m putting this here. Both couples now share a wedding date.

[BitterApple]

Both ladies look beautiful, I love Jana's dress. 

[Salacious Kitty]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Since Jana doesn’t have her name in a thread anymore, I’m putting this here. Both couples now share a wedding date.

I contacted a mod to assist in setting up a poll to name the new thread. I await their response. 🙂

[floridamom]

I have to say that both Michaela and Brandon look very nicely dressed. Michaela's dress isn't frumpy. It's cute on her. I'm glad she chose a nice dress for Jana's wedding. 

[GeeGolly]

Crazy to think if Jana was married nearly a decade ago, her wedding dress would have looked a lot like Michael's. And we all thought Michael was so bold with frontal hugging Brandon prior to marriage back then.

[Natalie68]

12 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Both ladies look beautiful, I love Jana's dress. 

Yes they do!  Jana's dress reminds me of my wedding dress (1991).  I am NOT saying it is an old style.  I am saying I LOVE it!

[AstridM]

Why is Stephen’s jacket so tight?

[Heathen]

3 hours ago, AstridM said:

Why is Stephen’s jacket so tight?

Why do you think it's tight? I think it's fitted properly (more anti-Duggarism). 

[AstridM]

56 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Why do you think it's tight? I think it's fitted properly (more anti-Duggarism). 

Idk, in the picture I saw it looked too small and gaping in the front.

[mcrev]

I'm currently facing my own fertility struggles and I've been thinking about Michael (and Brandon) all weekend. I'm only ~5 months in to my own journey and I can't imagine her heartache and pain after 9 years, especially amid her miscarriage and their failed adoption. 

While I can empathize with their situation, I don't understand their apparent passivity. I watched their YouTube video on infertility and they keep talking about "leaving it up to God"/"God opens and closes the womb." I fully understand the religious aspect of it--prayer, reading scripture, listening to sermons, etc. I just can't imagine being in her situation and not doing everything I possibly could to change my situation (I'm talking more here about lifestyle changes, not medical interventions that are $$$). I say this ESPECIALLY because Michael is a LPN. 

For example, food and exercise can help tremendously. There is a litany of literature (of which Michael would be able to digest, given her education) on the benefits of low-carb or keto diets + moderate-impact exercise on fertility. I'm going off into the weeds here, and for all I know, maybe she's tried these things. But I see pictures of her and think that while she has a larger frame naturally, she isn't taking great care of herself.

But I'm also putting all the blame on Michael. As the reader can probably tell, I'm really struggling myself and I'm probably projecting. My heart really goes out to her. I hope she is able to find peace and happiness in her own right (if she has not already!)