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Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates

Meredith Quill

By Meredith Quill
in Bringing Up Bates

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So unbelievable
So unbelievable

If anyone played Lawson's "music" while on my deathbed, I will haunt you for eternity for subjecting me to that shit!

Heathen
Heathen

I question the maturity of someone who uses those stupid emojis in a post about her mother's death. Grow up, Kelly. Act like an adult instead of a goddamn twelve-year-old. 

BetyBee
BetyBee

The latest podcast episode of Digging up the Duggars is about Gil and is entitled "Gil Needs a Story and a Swingset". It's really good and is all about Gil's philosophy of praying for every little thi

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RebeccatheWriter

RebeccatheWriter

11 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

🙄

 

I am glad they have a new pic and aren't using that tired one where he has his hand on her abdomen like he expects her to miraculously get pregnant again. Those are some big earrings for a woman in a family that didn't allow the girls to pierce their ears. I remember that Alyssa got her ears pierced after she got married and made a point of mentioning it on one of those Nightline stories. 

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IndianPaintbrush

IndianPaintbrush

The family is wisely choosing not to publicly comment on Josh Duggar's charges, but with Gil on the board of IBLP, I wonder what they think.

It surprised me to hear that Carlin had looked at buying a used car from Josh, because she seems like someone who wouldn't want to be within 10 miles of him. The Bates really are just Duggars with better clothes.

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So unbelievable

So unbelievable

I wonder what they really think about the actions of their children.  They say they understand and that they are adults and able to do what they want now, but they must be seething inside at some of the things they wear.  As I've mentioned before, specifically 15 year old Ellie.  She is way to made up.  

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

On 6/26/2022 at 4:10 AM, So unbelievable said:

I wonder what they really think about the actions of their children.  They say they understand and that they are adults and able to do what they want now, but they must be seething inside at some of the things they wear.  As I've mentioned before, specifically 15 year old Ellie.  She is way to made up.  

I wonder the opposite too. What do Erin, Michael and possibly Tori think of their parents now? I mean I know its typical of younger siblings to be raised differently, but usually the parents stay pretty much the same. From what I can see Kelly is more similar now to her more mainstream kids than she is to her conservative ones. She seems to spend more time with them as well.

Does anyone know if Gil & Kelly still do the Fundy conferences and such? There used to be a time when they were headliners, along with JB & Michelle Duggar, at every Fundy event.

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ozziemom

ozziemom

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I wonder the opposite too. What do Erin, Michael and possibly Tori think of their parents now? I mean I know its typical of younger siblings to be raised differently, but usually the parents stay pretty much the same. From what I can see Kelly is more similar now to her more mainstream kids than she is to her conservative ones. She seems to spend more time with them as well.

Does anyone know if Gil & Kelly still do the Fundy conferences and such? There used to be a time when they were headliners, along with JB & Michelle Duggar, at every Fundy event.

Seems like at the last big Fundie conference Gil was a speaker along with Brandon. KJ was in NJ or Florida visiting, I don’t remember exactly where, but we did snark on why she wasn’t glued to Gil’s side at the conference. 
 

I would imagine the older girls are a bit resentful of the way G&K are now compared to their childhood. 

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

16 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Seems like at the last big Fundie conference Gil was a speaker along with Brandon. KJ was in NJ or Florida visiting, I don’t remember exactly where, but we did snark on why she wasn’t glued to Gil’s side at the conference. 
 

I would imagine the older girls are a bit resentful of the way G&K are now compared to their childhood. 

Huh, now I'm wondering what Gil thinks about Kelly's changes. I suppose if it caused problems Kelly wouldn't behave as she does, but it just seems Kelly flipped this switch and is a (Fundy) 'woman about town'.

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ozziemom

ozziemom

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Huh, now I'm wondering what Gil thinks about Kelly's changes. I suppose if it caused problems Kelly wouldn't behave as she does, but it just seems Kelly flipped this switch and is a (Fundy) 'woman about town'.

It is quite a change from the days when they had to always sit so close together, holding hands and she would lovingly gaze at him. Now they are barely ever in the same room!

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So unbelievable

So unbelievable

14 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Huh, now I'm wondering what Gil thinks about Kelly's changes. I suppose if it caused problems Kelly wouldn't behave as she does, but it just seems Kelly flipped this switch and is a (Fundy) 'woman about town'.

Now that the cameras aren't on them anymore, she acts different.  Not attached at the hip as BUB showed.  

However, the reels Josie shares of her when she colors her hair, KJ goes on and on about how to be a good wife and mother and god fearing woman.  Barf

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

5 hours ago, So unbelievable said:

Now that the cameras aren't on them anymore, she acts different.  Not attached at the hip as BUB showed.  

However, the reels Josie shares of her when she colors her hair, KJ goes on and on about how to be a good wife and mother and god fearing woman.  Barf

I think there is much more to it than not having the cameras around though. There were no cameras when they were smooshed into their tiny house wearing matching homemade prairie dresses.  They did one season of United Bates of America in 2012 and Bringing Up Bates started in 2015. Zach, Erin and Alyssa were already married before they got their series. 

Kelly is definitely not the same uber Fundy Gothard 'Christian' woman she was for most of her adult life.

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iluvobx

iluvobx

So much has been exposed about the IBLP and Bill Gothard, that many are leaving.  The politic scene in Arkansas has changed and now they want them gone from Arkansas.  

I do find it interesting about KJ because it was her that brought "fundie" to Gil.  Even though they tried to distance themselves from Josh Duggar, the truth about what Gil has covered up in the past has come to light.  He has stood back and kept quiet, which means he condones, the sexual abuse etc that has occurred within their "religion".  Makes him just as guilty,  

Maybe KJ regrets the way she allowed the direction that a so called religion took her family.  When a "religion" cherry picks words or verse to twist to justify their own sick wants and needs, it is nothing more than a so called religion.  I still can't believe how many woman still allow their husbands to treat them and dictate their lives.  

IMO, Gil better keep a low profile because it would not surprise me if a former female member decides to sue him because he failed to report things that he was suppose to and even helped cover up illegal activity.

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ozziemom

ozziemom

So apparently a bunch of Duggars visited the Bates clan to help declutter, lol. KJ posted about everyone who helped them with a few projects. I guess the Big House needed quite a few things done. KJ posted pictures of various Bates boys and SIL’s working. My favorite picture was Gil sitting in a chair filthy dirty, covered in paint or concrete or something. Hopefully it wasn’t the new furniture Alyssa just gifted them. 

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ozziemom

ozziemom

54 minutes ago, SMama said:

I was surprised to see Kelton among those helping. I don’t think he’s close to G&K.

It looked like a pretty big plumbing project, maybe a whole new septic system so Kelton was probably guilted into it. Josie seems close to KJ and she is at the Big House a lot with the girls. There was quite a crew working on the plumbing project, even Brandon who seems more cerebral than the Bates boys.

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

Was that a septic repair? They looked like they were inside the old house fixing the underground plumbing. I'm guessing since Kelton brought his little brother along as his crew, he's not getting paid for this HUGE job. K&G seem like the type that just let things fall into disrepair until they're forced to do something about it. I think the only reason Alyssa bought Gil a new chair is because she didn't want to sit on their peeling and frayed furniture when she was there.

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Peanut6711

Peanut6711

Given how many times Kelton has gone on about his disdain for Gill keeping him from Josie when she was 14, I can't help but think Kelton wouldn't care if Gill's toilet was flushing in reversing and showering the walls with its content.  So if he showed up, Josie must be withholding sex or something as his incentive. 🤣

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Cinnabon

Cinnabon

5 minutes ago, Peanut6711 said:

Given how many times Kelton has gone on about his disdain for Gill keeping him from Josie when she was 14, I can't help but think Kelton wouldn't care if Gill's toilet was flushing in reversing and showering the walls with its content.  So if he showed up, Josie must be withholding sex or something as his incentive. 🤣

So fucking creepy.

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Peanut6711

Peanut6711

54 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

When did Kelton go on about his disdain for Gil?  What did he say? I have never read anything disrepectful that he said. I can't imagine that Josie would put up with him speaking disrespectfuly about her parents. He may not feel warm and fuzy about Gil but I don't get the impression that he holds Gil in contempt.

I've seen it on more than one episode of the show, and I didn't even watch regularly.  Kelton definitely holds a grudge about being told that Josie was off-limits when he first started sniffing around her. 

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65mickey

65mickey

Kelton voiced disdain for Gil on the TV show?  That doesnt seem like something that UP would want to show.  I'm not doubting you but it doesn't fit with how Kelton was very respectful when asking Kelly and Gil for permission to become engaged and Gil's reaction. They all appeared very happy about Josie and Kelton becoming engaged. Kelton doesn't seem like the type of young man who would vocalize any disrepect to an elder especially his wife's father. 

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SMama

SMama

(edited)

He openly discussed his resentment when they made a webpage for their wedding. I think it was under their love story or whatever. He talked about how difficult it was to watch B&T court while he was denied. If I’m not mistaken Kelton said he had forgiven G&K. Those two sorry excuses for parents have plenty to criticize. Forbidding their 14 year old daughter from getting to know an 18 year old college student is not one of them. 
 

To me Kelton’s resentment was on display at the wedding reception. The way he grabbed Josie’s butt was disrespectful to her and others there. Josie may have been OK with it but the girl was so sheltered I’m not sure she grasped the inappropriateness. 

Edited by SMama
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Peanut6711

Peanut6711

(edited)
21 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

Kelton voiced disdain for Gil on the TV show?  That doesnt seem like something that UP would want to show.  I'm not doubting you but it doesn't fit with how Kelton was very respectful when asking Kelly and Gil for permission to become engaged and Gil's reaction. They all appeared very happy about Josie and Kelton becoming engaged. Kelton doesn't seem like the type of young man who would vocalize any disrepect to an elder especially his wife's father. 

I think Kelton was respectful cause he needed to be to get Josie, but once he had her, he had no problem voicing how put out he was by being told to wait to get her.  I'm not sure if Gil realizes this or is oblivious.  Presumably he knows now if he watched his own show. One of the scenes I recall where Kelton complains about, even sort of mocks Gil, were obviously not when Gil was around though.  The one was at his current house w/Josie and one of her siblings and suitor were there, who he told the story to/complained to. 

Edited by Peanut6711
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Cinnabon

Cinnabon

2 hours ago, Peanut6711 said:

I think Kelton was respectful cause he needed to be to get Josie, but once he had her, he had no problem voicing how put out he was by being told to wait to get her.  I'm not sure if Gil realizes this or is oblivious.  Presumably he knows now if he watched his own show. One of the scenes I recall where Kelton complains about, even sort of mocks Gil, were obviously not when Gil was around though.  The one was at his current house w/Josie and one of her siblings and suitor were there, who he told the story to/complained to. 

So disgusting. Will he let one of his daughters start dating a college age  man when she’s still in middle school? There’s a name for men who want to date children . . .

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cereality

cereality

Kelton’s gross, creepy and controlling. Doesn’t matter that he runs a biz and has money and cooks, something isn’t right with him as a person. I mean when he was starting to talk to Josie - she was going into 9th grade (if she went to school) and he was heading off to college and then he was pissed when Gil said no. Like what parent would allow that - fundie or not - it’s not even legal if they were to do stuff (not that they would but hey any relationship can go awry).

And then he brought it up about 75 times - and no he wasn’t a “respectful young man.” He did a whole discussion w his dad about it when setting up the courtship ask - he can talk to his dad about whatever, he CHOSE to to it when UPTv was with him and dad. He brought it up at the freaking rehearsal dinner that G&K had said no to him 4 yrs ago as did best man Bobby in his freaking speech?! And yeah then the butt grab at the reception was a very clear - she’s mine now bitch.

But then this is the dude whose birthday wish for his 2 yr old was that she remains pure for her future husband. He took it down when he got enough negative comments but he ain’t right in the head to be thinking about his toddler’s virginity and will be waging a turf war when the future sons in law do come along to take his daughters’ virginity. I find it comical that a macho asshole like that hasn’t been able to make a boy and is stuck with just 2 girls. I’m sure they’ll try for a boy but with Josie’s clotting disorders and just the sisters’ overall health who knows.

Pretty sure he views women as just good for sex so wouldn’t be surprised if Josie held sex over him to undertake such a major project for his parents.

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Cinnabon

Cinnabon

8 minutes ago, cereality said:

Kelton’s gross, creepy and controlling. Doesn’t matter that he runs a biz and has money and cooks, something isn’t right with him as a person. I mean when he was starting to talk to Josie - she was going into 9th grade (if she went to school) and he was heading off to college and then he was pissed when Gil said no. Like what parent would allow that - fundie or not - it’s not even legal if they were to do stuff (not that they would but hey any relationship can go awry).

And then he brought it up about 75 times - and no he wasn’t a “respectful young man.” He did a whole discussion w his dad about it when setting up the courtship ask - he can talk to his dad about whatever, he CHOSE to to it when UPTv was with him and dad. He brought it up at the freaking rehearsal dinner that G&K had said no to him 4 yrs ago as did best man Bobby in his freaking speech?! And yeah then the butt grab at the reception was a very clear - she’s mine now bitch.

But then this is the dude whose birthday wish for his 2 yr old was that she remains pure for her future husband. He took it down when he got enough negative comments but he ain’t right in the head to be thinking about his toddler’s virginity and will be waging a turf war when the future sons in law do come along to take his daughters’ virginity. I find it comical that a macho asshole like that hasn’t been able to make a boy and is stuck with just 2 girls. I’m sure they’ll try for a boy but with Josie’s clotting disorders and just the sisters’ overall health who knows.

Pretty sure he views women as just good for sex so wouldn’t be surprised if Josie held sex over him to undertake such a major project for his parents.

I was 14 in the 8th grade - middle school. Gil should’ve told him to stay away from his daughter or he would call the police. It’s disturbing that he was ok with this guy even 4 years later, imo. 

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Heathen

Heathen

10 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

So disgusting. Will he let one of his daughters start dating a college age  man when she’s still in middle school? There’s a name for men who want to date children . . .

It is creepy and alarming, but considering how naive and sheltered most fundies are, I wouldn't say Kelton was a man at 18. Biologically yes, but certainly not intellectually or emotionally. He was probably Josie's peer in terms of emotional maturity. 

Still creepy and alarming. I would have major issues if I had an eighteen-year-old son who wanted to date a fourteen-year-old. I know a couple who started dating when she was fifteen and he was 27. I want to ask how the HELL that was allowed. What were her parents thinking and did his bother to explain he could go to prison for it? That it was creepy and disgusting at bare minimum? 

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

In the 40s, my mom and dad met in high school - she was 14 and he was 18 - and they married when she was 18.

High schools in my area are grades 9 - 12, so ages 14 - 18. While not the norm in more modern times it wasn't unusual for a freshman to date a senior, nor illegal - to date. I'm not saying I approve of the age difference, just saying it happens. I'm also guessing these relationships didn't always include sex, but I'm sure some did.

Kelton needs to get over himself because he ended up marrying Josie in spite of having to wait.

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Cinnabon

Cinnabon

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

In the 40s, my mom and dad met in high school - she was 14 and he was 18 - and they married when she was 18.

High schools in my area are grades 9 - 12, so ages 14 - 18. While not the norm in more modern times it wasn't unusual for a freshman to date a senior, nor illegal - to date. I'm not saying I approve of the age difference, just saying it happens. I'm also guessing these relationships didn't always include sex, but I'm sure some did.

Kelton needs to get over himself because he ended up marrying Josie in spite of having to wait.

Yes, it’s even creepier that he continues to bring up the subject. I guess this means he’ll be ok with his own daughters courting at 14? 😡😢

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