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Teen Mom 2: Small Talk

radishcake

By radishcake
in Teen Mom 2

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NannyBails

NannyBails

Tatum,  it sounds like this is the year for you to spend time with your husband's family.  Could your mother join you?    I personally wouldn't worry about your dad, though that might be hard-hearted of me.  My parents are divorced too, though it happened when I was 12.   I didn't really worry about my dad because he's the one who initiated it and he had family around him.  I lived with my mom (and her family) and saw her devastation first-hand.    I'd like to say she got over it, but she still to this day avoids events that my dad will attend.  She's not pining for him, but she's bitter.  It's put a great strain on us kids and she missed out on some important relationship-building time with her grandchildren.  Hopefully your mother and father will be able to put aside any hurt feelings and be civil enough that they can be in the same room and attend your family events.

I'd also say to cut yourself some slack on thinking your parents were happy.  People change, things happen.  I'm sorry it didn't work out for them, but maybe this opens the door for something better for both of them.  

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ReadMeLattice
ReadMeLattice

My sweetie!!! 2 weeks old.

ReadMeLattice
ReadMeLattice

I'm literally just putting a picture of my baby here because I'm obsessed with her. Also she didn't test positive for marijuana at birth so I'm pretty much supermom in TM world right now 

MyPeopleAreNordic
MyPeopleAreNordic

Lil Nordic #2, born July 9. Joins 19 month old big brother, Lil Nordic #1. ? And this is the last addition to the Nordic family. Two is enough for me. :) 

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Scarlett45

Scarlett45

7 hours ago, Tatum said:

Thanks @MissMel. The hardest part for sure is seeing the total devastation to my mom. She still breaks into tears sometimes, although since my dad asked for a divorce several weeks ago she seems to be doing better. In the last year she's been hoping for a reconciliation and while this is not what she wanted, at least now she can start moving on rather than just waiting for my dad to change his mind and over analyzing every encounter for a hidden meaning. The next hardest part is stressing about which one of them is going to be sitting home alone on Christmas Day. We usually alternate holidays between my family and husband's family, and before, on their "off" years, my parents had each other. My dad is not close to his siblings and both his parents are gone. My mom's parents are both gone and she is close emotionally with three of her siblings, but they live very far away and my mom is not too keen on driving long distances. Plus, one of her siblings has a job that frequently requires him to work on Christmas Day. So, I am already dreading this Christmas and next Christmas.

 

The next hardest part is the fact that I always felt vaguely proud that my parents, in the generation that saw the highest number of divorces, stayed together when all their siblings and peers were splitting up. It was so common in my high school to have divorced parents that I was actually the odd one out having parents that were married 20 years (this was in the late 90s). I always imagined them growing old together and being the kind of couple that other people look to as the ideal. Now it all seems like a fucking joke. I feel stupid misjudging my parents' so called happy marriage so badly.

I’m sorry for what your Mom’s going through Tatum (and you as well). The holidays can be hard thinking of the things that we have lost. 

 

This is might be bad advice but could they alternate who accompanies you to your husband’s family festivities? You can split the day- Brunch one place, dinner at another. 

6 hours ago, Tatum said:

Thanks @NannyBails. My dad suffers from both anxiety and clinical depression though so I do worry about him, especially now that he's living alone.

I understand worrying about your father’s mental health. Does he still work? Does he have a BFF or group of buddies to hang out with?

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druzy

druzy

On 11/21/2017 at 7:54 PM, GreatKazu said:

Yes, I watched all the seasons up until the first Vegas season started. The show jumped the shark at that point for me. 

Good for Cameran! What a funny girl. 

Man, I sure do miss the original RW.  Imagine if there had been a snark board back then? 

Did the internet exist back then? Remember when Tami got her mouth wired shut? 

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Tatum

Tatum

Was Tami the one who said people "nervoused" her? 

 

MTV classic briefly played some of the older seasons (1-4 plus the first Vegas) in like late 2015, which was SO awesome, but now they just play TRL which, although on during my high school years, has no sentimental attachment for me. 

 

I would love them forever if they'd throw me a bone and replay Singled Out and the short lived but beyond epic The Blame Game. 

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Faul McCartney

Faul McCartney

Help! I think there is someone on the TM2 boards who lives in Delaware. I have to move there in February for six months for work and I need to figure out where to live. I have to be in Dover once a week for lunch, but other than that I can work from home. Sooooo, anyone know anything about Delaware? My plan is to find the best daycare I can, then find a place to live near there. ANY TIPS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED!!

GreatKazu

GreatKazu

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 8:09 AM, Tatum said:

Thanks @MissMel. The hardest part for sure is seeing the total devastation to my mom. She still breaks into tears sometimes, although since my dad asked for a divorce several weeks ago she seems to be doing better. In the last year she's been hoping for a reconciliation and while this is not what she wanted, at least now she can start moving on rather than just waiting for my dad to change his mind and over analyzing every encounter for a hidden meaning. The next hardest part is stressing about which one of them is going to be sitting home alone on Christmas Day. We usually alternate holidays between my family and husband's family, and before, on their "off" years, my parents had each other. My dad is not close to his siblings and both his parents are gone. My mom's parents are both gone and she is close emotionally with three of her siblings, but they live very far away and my mom is not too keen on driving long distances. Plus, one of her siblings has a job that frequently requires him to work on Christmas Day. So, I am already dreading this Christmas and next Christmas.

 

The next hardest part is the fact that I always felt vaguely proud that my parents, in the generation that saw the highest number of divorces, stayed together when all their siblings and peers were splitting up. It was so common in my high school to have divorced parents that I was actually the odd one out having parents that were married 20 years (this was in the late 90s). I always imagined them growing old together and being the kind of couple that other people look to as the ideal. Now it all seems like a fucking joke. I feel stupid misjudging my parents' so called happy marriage so badly.

Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie. You are not stupid. People can be together and be happy for years. Then, things can gradually change. Your dad sounds like he is having some mental crisis, and I am sure that played a big part of what caused him to check out of the marriage. I hope he seeks help and treatment for what is ailing him. 

I agree that your mom is better off knowing there is no chance for a reconciliation. She would be stuck in a rut, waiting around hoping and wishing that your dad would come back and want to work things out. Sometimes it takes a jolt like that to get people to start moving forward. I am so sorry for her loss and how she feels. She is blessed to have you there. 

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Scarlett45

Scarlett45

6 hours ago, Mkay said:

Did anyone watch the Elizabeth Smart documentaries? Dr Drew held a Q&A with her.  He was harsh In my opinion.   Way, WAY more harsh than he has every been with the Teen Mom crappy moms.  

I wanted some two-ish weeks ago but I don’t recall a Q&A with Dr Drew. Please I want to know what that dumb ass could’ve possibly said to Elizabeth Smart- who is such a poised, gracious, thankful well spoken young woman. A true survivor and inspiration to others. 

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Tatum

Tatum

On 11/27/2017 at 0:16 AM, GreatKazu said:

Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie. You are not stupid. People can be together and be happy for years. Then, things can gradually change. Your dad sounds like he is having some mental crisis, and I am sure that played a big part of what caused him to check out of the marriage. I hope he seeks help and treatment for what is ailing him. 

I agree that your mom is better off knowing there is no chance for a reconciliation. She would be stuck in a rut, waiting around hoping and wishing that your dad would come back and want to work things out. Sometimes it takes a jolt like that to get people to start moving forward. I am so sorry for her loss and how she feels. She is blessed to have you there. 

Thanks for the encouragement @GreatKazu. Coming here and venting is kind of like therapy :).

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CaliforniaLove

CaliforniaLove

On 11/23/2017 at 1:06 PM, Maharincess said:

They have both of the Fat Camp shows on YouTube. I just re-watched the first one a few days ago. 

Thanks for the tip @Maharincess!! I watched both. The first one is such a classic. I mean, no words are necessary for Dianne, but everyone was pretty much a classic character in their own right...Matt Liber legit cried because they lost the color war!!

GreatKazu

GreatKazu

Quote

Did anyone watch the Elizabeth Smart documentaries? Dr Drew held a Q&A with her.  He was harsh In my opinion.   Way, WAY more harsh than he has every been with the Teen Mom crappy moms.  

I have to check to see if it will air again. I didn't get to watch it in full and I forgot to DVR the show. 

I was checking out clips from the Road Rules Semester at Sea late last night.  

Pua, Anaya, Yes, and that bitch Veronica. I fucking loathed her. Remember how she stole the term paper AND Pua's blouse? Pua then decided to wear the blouse at a party on board and then next thing you know, Veronica's face as she saw her wearing the blouse. Epic moment! lol Then, Veronica had the audacity to ask Pua to not discuss it on camera because she didn't want anyone to know what she had done. Fuck that. 

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CaliforniaLove

CaliforniaLove

(edited)
On 11/26/2017 at 6:10 AM, Calm81 said:

Omg!!! I must’ve been living under a rock because my husband just told me the greatest news that apparently has been known for a while now.

They are going to reboot the show “Roseanne” soon!!!!!!

Roseanne has been and always will be my #2 most favorite show of all time!!!

The weed episode is the best 30 minutes of a sitcom ever! Anything involving Laurie Metcalf will be rad.

ETA: the Golden Girls episode where the heater goes out & the girls all end up in the same bed is #2.

Edited by CaliforniaLove
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Tatum

Tatum

On 11/22/2017 at 9:49 AM, MissMel said:

I adore Cam.  A little goes a long way with her but I think she's aware of that.  Southern Charm is the show she's on now and her husband, who does not appear on the show, is a doctor.  Her house is one of the most beautiful homes I've ever seen on tv. 

I watched an episode this weekend! Why is a 50 something guy hanging out with a bunch of 20 somethings? I thought he was someone's dad at first.

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AmyFarrahFowler

AmyFarrahFowler

On 11/21/2017 at 4:54 PM, GreatKazu said:

Yes, I watched all the seasons up until the first Vegas season started. The show jumped the shark at that point for me. 

Good for Cameran! What a funny girl. 

Man, I sure do miss the original RW.  Imagine if there had been a snark board back then? 

We could spend months on Season 2 (LA) alone! 

On 11/22/2017 at 6:50 PM, CaliforniaLove said:

That wasn't not funny.

With the economy size can of hairspray in her hand. 

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Mkay

Mkay

I could use some cheering up.  I’m usually the one who tries to make people laugh, to not tell my problems. People have their own issues in life, they don’t need to worry with mine.  But last week I got some medical news that I’m not handling very well. My marriage is more like roommates and has been for a while. My family and friends are aware of that part.  I get lonely, but being able to laugh with y’all helps. I haven’t worked for almost 2 yrs because of constant migraines and mother issues.  I feel so so sad. I keep my smile on my face but it’s gettinf harder to hide.  If I had the means to leave and take care of myself and my daughter I’d have been out of this relationship a long time ago.  Last week things got worse.  I feel stuck.  It’s just major sadness, nothing more. I don’t want to talk with my local friends or family because I get the same response “Leave him!” It isn’t that easy when you have no income of your own or the money to file divorce. I needed to vent. But what’s he’s done is unforgivable and I can’t even stand to be in the same room with him once he gets home. 

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DudeLeaveMeAlone

DudeLeaveMeAlone

1 hour ago, Mkay said:

I could use some cheering up.  I’m usually the one who tries to make people laugh, to not tell my problems. People have their own issues in life, they don’t need to worry with mine.  But last week I got some medical news that I’m not handling very well. My marriage is more like roommates and has been for a while. My family and friends are aware of that part.  I get lonely, but being able to laugh with y’all helps. I haven’t worked for almost 2 yrs because of constant migraines and mother issues.  I feel so so sad. I keep my smile on my face but it’s gettinf harder to hide.  If I had the means to leave and take care of myself and my daughter I’d have been out of this relationship a long time ago.  Last week things got worse.  I feel stuck.  It’s just major sadness, nothing more. I don’t want to talk with my local friends or family because I get the same response “Leave him!” It isn’t that easy when you have no income of your own or the money to file divorce. I needed to vent. But what’s he’s done is unforgivable and I can’t even stand to be in the same room with him once he gets home. 

I'm sorry to hear that. Feel free to DM me if you'd like. Aside from the medical issues, I'm going through the same issues with my spouse.

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teapot

teapot

1 hour ago, Mkay said:

I could use some cheering up.  I’m usually the one who tries to make people laugh, to not tell my problems. People have their own issues in life, they don’t need to worry with mine.  But last week I got some medical news that I’m not handling very well. My marriage is more like roommates and has been for a while. My family and friends are aware of that part.  I get lonely, but being able to laugh with y’all helps. I haven’t worked for almost 2 yrs because of constant migraines and mother issues.  I feel so so sad. I keep my smile on my face but it’s gettinf harder to hide.  If I had the means to leave and take care of myself and my daughter I’d have been out of this relationship a long time ago.  Last week things got worse.  I feel stuck.  It’s just major sadness, nothing more. I don’t want to talk with my local friends or family because I get the same response “Leave him!” It isn’t that easy when you have no income of your own or the money to file divorce. I needed to vent. But what’s he’s done is unforgivable and I can’t even stand to be in the same room with him once he gets home. 

I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time.  I look forward to hearing what you have to say on these forums...you're an awesome person!!

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Tatum

Tatum

1 hour ago, Mkay said:

I could use some cheering up.  I’m usually the one who tries to make people laugh, to not tell my problems. People have their own issues in life, they don’t need to worry with mine.  But last week I got some medical news that I’m not handling very well. My marriage is more like roommates and has been for a while. My family and friends are aware of that part.  I get lonely, but being able to laugh with y’all helps. I haven’t worked for almost 2 yrs because of constant migraines and mother issues.  I feel so so sad. I keep my smile on my face but it’s gettinf harder to hide.  If I had the means to leave and take care of myself and my daughter I’d have been out of this relationship a long time ago.  Last week things got worse.  I feel stuck.  It’s just major sadness, nothing more. I don’t want to talk with my local friends or family because I get the same response “Leave him!” It isn’t that easy when you have no income of your own or the money to file divorce. I needed to vent. But what’s he’s done is unforgivable and I can’t even stand to be in the same room with him once he gets home. 

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any helpful advice myself. Can you possibly visit an attorney for a free consultation? You don't have to actually do anything with the information, but it might to help to know what your financial rights are. If you don't know of a reputable attorney with a free consultation, can you siphon out some money to pay the initial consultation charge? If you go to Walmart, you can take cash out on your debit card when you pay for something, and it won't show up on your bank statement as anything other than a Walmart charge. Or can you just withdraw $20 here and there and say it's for incidentals? Sorry if you've already thought of this.

 

For what's worth, I very briefly filed for divorce in 2014 (I say briefly because I withdrew the petition after husband agreed to go to counseling and we reconciled) and the lawyer I saw (consultation fee, $300, initial filing that was revoked, $600) and the lawyer said I was within my rights to withdraw 50% of whatever was in the money accounts at any given time without pissing any family court judge off. That may vary by state or county, but that's why it's good to at least talk to a lawyer. Even if you wind up not doing anything. Even without income, you are entitled to some of whatever marital assets you have, and you are likely entitled to spousal support and child support.

 

Sorry, that wasn't much for cheering up. I am better at numbers than emotions.

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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

2 hours ago, AmyFarrahFowler said:

We could spend months on Season 2 (LA) alone! 

With the economy size can of hairspray in her hand. 

Let's start now! lol 

I am FB friends with Dominick. He is still friends with Beth, Irene (who divorced that hubby of hers and remarried), and Jon is also friends with all of them. I just recently began following Irene who now owns a bail bond company. 

@Mkay, I am going to PM you. 

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Mkay

Mkay

Thank you all. I was almost afraid to come back and check. I couldn’t remember what I wrote. I was crying and trying to get everything out and was pretty sure it came off as a rambling mess.  You all made me smile. All the encouragement and words of advice.  I have a few friends looking into some things for me and though it might take a little time hopefully I’ll get out of this mess soon.  @DudeLeaveMeAlone I’m here if you need to vent. 

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Maharincess

Maharincess

@Mkay, I'm so sorry. I feel for you right now.  I was also stuck in a horrible relationship with no income of my own. I finally escaped and my kids and I lived in a friend's garage for 18 months while I got on my feet. It was cold, cramped and we slept next to lawn equipment but we were free so it was all worth it. 

Hang in there. It will get better, just keep planning and don't give up. Everyone here is here for you if you need us. 

Sending big hugs to you. 

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Tatum

Tatum

5 minutes ago, Mkay said:

Thank you all. After all the encouragement I feel better today. @Maharincess, I’ve even told him before I’d rather live under a overpass than stay here any longer.  So I know you understand that feeling.  

Thank you all, really.  Yesterday I just felt completely broken. Today I’m just determined.  

Determined is good! Good luck to you!

 

Also, and I'm sure this is totally obvious, but document everything. Everything. And take screenshots of bank accounts, pictures of 401 balances, other retirement assets, credit card statements, phone bills- seriously, anything that you think might be important. You don't have to do anything with it, but even just having everything organized can be a powerful feeling.

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