People on the Show: Househunters and Realtors - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

[Bastet]

Trophy Wife and Slave Sister in Aruba: The couple "needed" thousands of square feet because their kids had too many toys

Mickey Mouse Law School Lady: The only "X months later" reveal I have watched with my mouth hanging open.  I had no idea so many Mickey Mouse themed items existed in this world, let alone that they'd ever be found in one private home. (As an aside, it took me until the end of the episode to realize her dog Walter had been named after Walt Disney.)

The parents of Preston Barrington III: They really thought they were hot shit, and then we see their cupboards stocked with plastic cups and the stately library ruined by his frat house decor

The Christmas Tree Family: The parents were obsessed with the whole family being able to be in one room at the same time, including much paranoia over the kids sneaking out, and he was also obsessed with where their Christmas tree would go in each house they toured 

The Turtle Lady: She took her turtles on the road with her, and needed a room for them in the house

[OhYouMen]

The Mickey Mouse lady is a classic. 

There was a couple looking for an investment property in New Orleans where the interior designer wife was obnoxious. In the last segment, when we saw the result, there was an enormous pop art style portrait of each member of the family -- exactly like J'aime Private School Girl. 

There was the "downsizing" couple who were obsessed with "private potties."

A particularly annoying lady was fixating on a house that already had a doggie door, as if installing one would be a deal breaker.

One of the most jaw dropping HHI episodes was a couple moving to an Asian country where the guy completed railroaded his girlfriend into choosing an apartment very far from her work. Her commute ended up being something like 2 hours each way and the guy simply didn't care. He just wanted this particular apartment, despite not needing to commute anywhere himself. 

[all4mom]

The "Butters" parents.

[Bastet]

One of the most jaw dropping HHI episodes was a couple moving to an Asian country where the guy completed railroaded his girlfriend into choosing an apartment very far from her work. Her commute ended up being something like 2 hours each way and the guy simply didn't care. He just wanted this particular apartment, despite not needing to commute anywhere himself.

Oh, yes.  And he was going to be working from home, so his "commute" would be a walk down the hall wherever they lived.  When she balked about all the time she'd spend in traffic, he ever-so-graciously agreed to "help" with the household chores that should have been equally his to begin with.

That was a stupid storyline that did neither one of them any favors (especially with the beginning set-up that presented him as essentially tagging along rather than actually being invited to move across the globe with her).

[Mrs. P.]

 

A particularly annoying lady was fixating on a house that already had a doggie door, as if installing one would be a deal breaker.

This one blew me away.  I kept thinking of the 30 minutes it took us to install our doggie door.  And she was basing her entire house hunt on finding one that already had a doggie door.

Edited April 5, 2014 by Mrs. P.

[LakeGal]

The doggie door lady reminds me of the woman obsessed with houses with a mail slot.  Again they can be installed if that is what they want.

I still laugh at the people (usually men) that walk into the lights in the dining room and complain about how low they are hanging.  They need a table in the houses for these idiots. 

[LizBug]

Then there's the episode that I saw last week where the guy needed room to park/work on the school bus he wanted to buy.  And he couldn't walk into a house without wanting to tear out walls and cabinets and floors.  That realtor was so patient with him.

[DownTheShore]

Granted that we are only seeing an edited version of the various house presentations, but some of those realtors seem absolutely clueless.  Some of them seem unable to distinguish between what would be a structural repair and what is merely cosmetic.  Don't they know that light fixtures can be changed out, walls (and paneling) painted, carpets removed or put down?  The couple will walk out onto a back covered porch and say, "Oh, we realy wanted a screened in porch" and the realtor doesn't suggest that they get the porch screened in.

 

A surprising number of them don't seem to be able to think outside the box.  I remember one episode where the realtor basically showed the people the same house design in the same planned community twice.  The people, IIRC, weren't that enamored of the first house to begin with

 

I also have to commend those realtors who are on the ball and who are virtually biting their tongues as they deal with clients who are total, unrealistic idiots.  Those realtors clearly earn every dollar of their commission.

[Lawgiver]

Not really a Hall of Shame topic, but does anyone know why they got rid of Suzanne Whang so many years ago? I just watched a HHI ep with her that was online at HGTV and they've tweaked the format over the years. It's definitely smoother without her, but she could have continued to narrate them. Any (late to the party) dirt to share?

[darbar]

Tonight's husband was a real piece of work. I mean, how many people base their choice of house on whether the house is located in the city of his high school rivals? There must be a statute of limitation on how long you can't live near your high school rivals. The guy is a firefighter, but he'd constantly complain about having to climb stairs in a two story house? He's a healthy, young man, but he refuses to climb stairs? Freak.

[DownTheShore]

Some people can never leave their high school years behind, because those were their glory years.  I've got a relative who's in his 60's who always brings up things that happened while he was in high school in every conversation.

 

 

[JennyMominFL]

Not really a Hall of Shame topic, but does anyone know why they got rid of Suzanne Whang so many years ago? I just watched a HHI ep with her that was online at HGTV and they've tweaked the format over the years. It's definitely smoother without her, but she could have continued to narrate them. Any (late to the party) dirt to share?

I think she left when she got cancer. She now narrates  other shows

[chessiegal]

She left before she got cancer. Hooked on Houses ran an article on it, and one of her readers said they asked her, and she said she hosted for over a decade, and basically left to pursue other career opportunities.

[Lawgiver]

Thanks for the info. I had no idea she had cancer! And I guess people get bored with their jobs, but I'm thinking that a steady income is pretty good. I never understand why actors and TV personalities want to move on to other challenges when they have a (very) comfortable salary coming in. (But then, I'm not them, so who knows?)

[buttercupia]

Suzanne Whang also had an appearance in the fourth season of Arrested Development.  She headed up a prison gang.

[auntjess]

I've just started noticing credits to Andromeda Dunker.  I googled, and she does narration now.
I never pay attention.

[chessiegal]

Andromeda Dunker has been narrating for several years.

Edited June 3, 2014 by chessiegal

[OSM Mom]

Wow. What a name.

[Amethyst]

I remember one woman who was adamant about the toilet paper roll being separate from the wall.  I had no words for that.

There were several HHs who hated shower curtain liners and wanted shower doors instead.  

 

An infamous realtor: Andrea, who carried her dog Birken in her little bag.  I'm assuming that was a Birkin bag as well?

What if the HH was allergic to dogs?

[chessiegal]

Oh, yes. That was a Birken bag.

 

As far as carrying in the dog, I just keep in mind that all the homes shown have the approval of the owners to have their home filmed. Now if she does this IRL, that's another story.

[FozzyBear]

This is a really old one from back during the boom, but man I couldn't deal with this couple. They were a really young couple in Florida. He was still in school and she had just graduated. They had a budget of $400,00. That was the first thing that blew my mind. I they had one income and when I say she had just graduated, I mean like the month before. She was a pharmacist and I know they do pretty well but I could not figure out how they saved a down payment or why they would want such a huge mortgage when they were going to be living on 1 income for a few years. Anyway they ended up with this hideous McMansion. They were one of those couples who needed a separate room for EVERYTHING! They needed a master suite, and a guest room, and two offices, and a gym, and a rec room/man cave and so on. Of course they needed stainless steel and granit in the kitchen (needed, not wanted). The husband kept referring to everything as sharp. "I like those columns. They're sharp!" I like the fireplace! It's sharp!". Anyone else remember them. I always wondered if they ended up in foreclosure after the bubble burst.

[chessiegal]

My husband and I were talking about quirky House Hunters, and I mentioned the woman who didn't want trees in the yard because birds would wake her up, another who was inexplicably afraid of being near cornfields, and more than one afraid of a haunted house. My husband said he remembers one where someone was afraid of zombies coming through the windows.

[DownTheShore]

There was one on recently where the guy was afraid of zombies coming in through the windows - maybe that was it.

 

I think I remember that one with the newly-out-of-school young couple.  I assumed that Mommy and Daddy were fronting the cost of the house.

[Amethyst]

This episode was a few years ago, so the pricing details are fuzzy.  This HH was moving from California to Texas (I think) and the first house she saw was priced at something like $275,000, which was fair and comparable to the neighborhood.  The buyer's offer was extremely low, like $120,000.  Her realtor tried to tell her that the homeowners would be upset at such a lowball offer, but the girl just scoffed and said "They want to sell the house, don't they?"  

 

So they put in the offer, and the next day, the homeowners responded.  Their counter?  $274,000, only a thousand less than the asking price.  The buyer's face was priceless.  Best counteroffer ever.  Needless to say, she didn't get that house.

[auntjess]

Unless I'm missing it, no one has mentioned either the cornfield lady, or the one who wouldn't have a mirror that reflected the shower.
I guess she's seen Psycho too many times.

[Bastet]

Also the woman who was adamant about having a two-story house, so the bedrooms could be upstairs and thus no burglars could break into them and no future children could sneak out of them ... as if two-story homes don't have ground floors.

[FozzyBear]

One of my favorite episodes ever was a HHI in Paris (I think. I could be wrong about that). In any case an American couple with 2 young sons (about 4 and 6 probably) was looking for an apartment in a large European city. They were being typical American helicopter parents and acting like all manner of normal stuff would kill their children. The agent looked at them like they were nuts the whole time. So at one point they find a great place, but it's on a high floor and has a lot of windows. The parents immediately start fretting about the kids falling out the window and the agent turns to them and says "could you not tell them not to jump out the window?" OMG his tone was priceless. Like he was sincerely confused about the issue and trying to find a polite was of asking if their children were stupid or something. I laughed so hard. My mom and I say that all the time now!

[Bastet]

It was mostly the wife with the screenless window phobia, and that Michigan to Paris episode is legendary in my book; love the real estate agent's response to her nonsense!  To hear her fret, the streets of Paris are littered with the corpses of children who fell out of windows for lack of screens.  I now think of her whenever I stay someplace without window screens, especially in western Europe where the particular type of window she was worrying about is common.

Edited June 7, 2014 by Bastet

[FozzyBear]

It was mostly the wife with the screenless window phobia, and that Michigan to Paris episode is legendary in my book; love the real estate agent's response to her nonsense! To hear her fret, the streets of Paris are littered with the corpses of children who fell out of windows for lack of screens. I now think of her whenever I stay someplace without window screens, especially in western Europe where the particular type of window she was worrying about is common.

God I loved that agent. He just got this look every time she would fret over raising her boys in the death trap of...an apartment...in a city. By the end I really believe that he thought her children had some sort of serious mental problem and was just too polite to ask. It was even better since she seemed to fancy herself as quite the cool mom and her face would fall every time the realtor would give her this "are you and your children really too stupid to safely use a staircase?" look. I want that guy to be on every episode.

Edited June 7, 2014 by FozzyBear

[DownTheShore]

The ones that get me are the ones who want houses with enough bedrooms for every single child plus a guest room plus a room to act as an office, and then when the real estate agent shows them a two story house, they go into a tizzy because they immediately assume that their children are going to fall down the stairs.

 

It's like they never heard of child gates.

[FozzyBear]

The ones that get me are the ones who want houses with enough bedrooms for every single child plus a guest room plus a room to act as an office, and then when the real estate agent shows them a two story house, they go into a tizzy because they immediately assume that their children are going to fall down the stairs.

It's like they never heard of child gates.

Or learning to walk.

[DownTheShore]

LOL, yes, like the children are never going to grow into any other size.

 

Like the ones who simply must have the child's bedroom right next to theirs.  I guess they never heard of child monitors either?

Edited June 7, 2014 by DownTheShore

[Patrizio]

The idiot who wanted to have room to renovate a schoolbus into an RV- sometimes I thank the good Lord that we have An HOA!

[qtpye]

So they put in the offer, and the next day, the homeowners responded.  Their counter?  $274,000, only a thousand less than the asking price.  The buyer's face was priceless.  Best counteroffer ever.  Needless to say, she didn't get that house.

 

 

I remember this person and she was quite a pill.  However, I think this was an episode of My First Place not House Hunters.  That show went more into the bargaining process while HH is more of we see three house and they go over the pros and cons of each location.  Of course everything is fake, because it is the house is already bought and the other two are decoys.

[txvoodoo]

I remember this person and she was quite a pill.  However, I think this was an episode of My First Place not House Hunters.  That show went more into the bargaining process while HH is more of we see three house and they go over the pros and cons of each location.  Of course everything is fake, because it is the house is already bought and the other two are decoys.

I'm pretty sure that one, and Property Virgins are less fake. MFP had eps where houses would fall through, and they'd have to start over again. And PV has eps where no sale is made at all. 

[NYGirl]

I saw the woman with the doggy doors just today and it was Property Virgins.  I had to shake my head while watching it.

 

My contribution to this thread is lady that was afraid of ghosts in Boston, Pastor afraid of hills in I think it was Kansas and woman in Fla afraid of hurricanes.

 

Edited: Because I started thinking of the crazies:

 

The woman in Paris that put her daughter in the dungeon.

 

The guy who had to has his toilet bowl in an enclosed room.

 

The woman in middle America that was afraid of basements!

Edited July 3, 2014 by NYGirl

[DownTheShore]

Every single one where the couple doesn't want a pool because they're afraid that their imaginary future children will fall into it.  They've obviously never heard of pool fences, pool alarms, and swimming lessons at the local Y.

 

Or couples who are pregnant who are looking for homes in "the city center" because they expect to be able to continue their nights of gathering with friends at the local pub or club.  I laugh at all the free time they think they're going to have once they start popping out kids.

Edited July 6, 2014 by DownTheShore

[Quof]

Or couples who are pregnant

 

 

Or any couple who says "we're pregnant".

[LuckyBitch]

Or any couple who says "we're pregnant".

 

[BearCat49]

I believe the Suzanne Whang elimination was simply to save $$$.  It's much cheaper to pay a background, off-camera voiceover artist than on-camera talent.  It was hilarious how tptb found a voiceover artist (the one prior to Dunker) who sounded very similar to Suzanne.

 

WRT the realtor errors or omissions, I give them a break.  We don't know if tptb edited/cut their comments or they showed an inappropriate home b/c that's the only one where the homeowners gave consent for filming.

 

Same thing for the ridiculous plotlines and wishlist items, e.g. the high school rivalry, turtle lady, mail slot and doggie door.  Most of it, I don't buy.  Tptb got what they wanted - fans continue watching and talking about those episodes.

I saw the woman with the doggy doors just today and it was Property Virgins.  I had to shake my head while watching it.

 

My contribution to this thread is lady that was afraid of ghosts in Boston, Pastor afraid of hills in I think it was Kansas and woman in Fla afraid of hurricanes.

 

Edited: Because I started thinking of the crazies:

 

The woman in Paris that put her daughter in the dungeon.

 

The guy who had to has his toilet bowl in an enclosed room.

 

The woman in middle America that was afraid of basements!

 

IIRC, the doggy door woman was HH, Sacramento.  So perhaps both shows (HH and PV) used that plot because it's so stellar!  (not)

[HotPhoenix]

The Chicago woman with the burnt out fried hair who seemed to have a phobia of granite.  Her "boyfriend" is insane to be sharing anything with that whacko. 

 

I really wish they'd have realtors who would have the balls to smack some of these idiots and say something like "Hey, you have a budget of $130,000.  You ain't getting granite, stainless steel, a California Closet, a master bedroom that measures 20X20 and a master bath with a huge tub with a chandeliere".

[Fabricationary]

PSA:  It looks like the turtle lady episode will be airing on HGTV tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM central. 

[SpiritSong]

 

I really wish they'd have realtors who would have the balls to smack some of these idiots and say something like "Hey, you have a budget of $130,000.  You ain't getting granite, stainless steel, a California Closet, a master bedroom that measures 20X20 and a master bath with a huge tub with a chandeliere".

My dream job is to be hired by HH and HHI as a viewer advocate. I would go along with the house hunters and every time they walked into a room the size of an airplane hangar and complained "It's a little small" I would get to kick them in the shins. At the very least I would like to have thought bubbles appear above my head every time they said something stupid/obnoxious/whiny. Might be harder to get people to go on the show but I bet ratings would go up.

[Bellalisa]

The crazy one was the spoiled brat who had a low budget but HAD to live on the beach in california so for 1/2 million dollars they got like a 500 square foot house that was also a fixer upper and they had a dog. Lol she was a piece of work!

 

Of course all the people who move to europe and say "what would I ever use a bidet for? What am I gonna do with that?" - do you never go number two? You must be quite special!

 

What about all the people who move to europe and want to put room for a bar-b-que on their balcony so they can cookout and have hotdogs and hamburgers? 

 

I love the ones who want "older homes because they have character" and then bitch and bitch and bitch that the closets are small and the kitchen isn't "open concept".

 

Remeber the hipsters that were so appalled by having granite in their kitchen? The house they liked the most had granite in the kitchen and she could not wait to replace it with concrete. 

 

I kind of like the hipsters that bought a fire house but he had a strange obsession with keeping the group urinal. 

[Bastet]

At the very least I would like to have thought bubbles appear above my head every time they said something stupid/obnoxious/whiny.

 

Yes - there should be a Pop-Up Video version of HH!  When a HH complains about a bedroom being too "tight," a little chryon bubble pops up saying the average size of a bedroom in that area and at that budget is actually X square feet less than the room being shown.   When they complain about a black or white finish on a good-quality appliance, we learn via the bubble that the stove in question is worth X more than a builder-grade stove with a SS finish.  When they bust their alleged budget because they saw something pretty and shiny, we get data on percentage of income spent on a mortgage 20 years ago vs. today's average (plus how much of the purchase price one used to put down vs today's "WHAT?! I put down five percent and you want to me to pay closing costs, too?).   When a HH frets about the death trap that is a staircase, unscreened window or other hazard, we're treated to statistics on serious injury or death resulting from said features.  When they whine over the lack of double sinks in the master bathroom, we're told she gets up a full hour before he does or there is an unused bathroom down the hall.

 

This is a series I could get behind!

Edited August 5, 2014 by Bastet

[laredhead]

Bastet, love your idea, but I have a feeling the house tours would become silent rather quickly.  Stats are a great idea.

[BearCat49]

My dream job is to be hired by HH and HHI as a viewer advocate. I would go along with the house hunters and every time they walked into a room the size of an airplane hangar and complained "It's a little small" I would get to kick them in the shins. At the very least I would like to have thought bubbles appear above my head every time they said something stupid/obnoxious/whiny. Might be harder to get people to go on the show but I bet ratings would go up.

Who would kick the production assistant (the one who's walking just out of frame as they tour homes) in the shins after they suggested said stupid comment to the participants?

 

I believe they're the highest rated programs (HH/HHI) on HGTV already.  If we're talking about the stupid comments they've suggested to the participants and/or the cray cray people they've casted, I'm sure tptb are very happy.

 

I'd be interested in those stats, Bastet, but I'm not sure the viewing public cares.  And, tptb definitely don't believe their role is to educate.  Entertain, yes but educate - probably not.  Unless and until the ratings change, I doubt the format will change significantly. 

 

I can't help but laugh when I occasionally hear that someone contacted HH with the expectation that the show would help them complete their house search.

Edited August 5, 2014 by BearCat49

[Fabricationary]

I think this guy should be an honorary member of the HH Hall of Shame:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KOsDl2bYzo

 

Although, we might have to bump him down on the list for making only one mention of granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances.

[DownTheShore]

I don't think that I can take another couple whining about no double sinks in the master bathroom.  Haven't they ever heard of taking turns, of sharing?  I was raised with one small bathroom for my entire family.  You got in, did your business and got out.  You didn't leave makeup and stuff all over the sink, you put it on top of your dresser in your bedroom or in one of its drawers.  I mean, common courtesy people!  If you know that it takes you an hour to do your makeup and hair, then do it someplace other than the bathroom so you don't tie it up for whoever needs to use it.  Conversely, if your SO is going to do her makeup in the master bath and tie the thing up, then use the other bathroom in the house.  A guest bathroom isn't a guest bathroom until you ACTUALLY have a guest in your home.

 

That whole double sink thing has to be one of the most contrived bits on all the HH shows.  I applaud the realtors who point out that there IS another bathroom.

[LuckyBitch]

I like having my own sink area even though we both keep all our stuff away in the drawers and cabinets, and we never even use the bathroom at the same time. I just like my space, I guess. When we were first living here, before kids, I suggested that he use the lovely bathroom in the hall (guest bathroom) and he said no way, ha! I can't blame him for that, because who doesn't prefer using the bathroom right in their bedroom?