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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Guest

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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20 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Interestingly, House Hunters, where people are really hard on the couples on the show, is running just fine with no lights or shutdowns.  I still think some people signed up just to complain, which brought this unwanted and unneeded attention.  There is no way our usual posters would draw this kind of attention.  I could see this happening on the Shopping Channel shows, too.

Well, there are a couple posters whom I think play both sides, and do want this forum shut down. 🥲 Why they don’t just go elsewhere I have no idea.

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(edited)

This stands out to me: 

Quote

- Guidance: Let’s highlight what’s working and improve on what’s not. Constructive, respectful dialogue that values all voices is our goal.

So, what isn't working? How can we improve without this valuable information? What, specifically, are the "complaints?" As it stands now, we're being set up to fail.

Throw us a bone. 

Edited by Salacious Kitty
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9 hours ago, Girl in a Cardigan said:

Given that my snark meter is pretty high (and been around since the TWOP days), I'm not sure I've ever seen whatever issues they're talking about. If they want us to stop talking about something or someone, they better come out and say it. I see that Josh & Anna topic is locked, so perhaps it was getting "ugly" in there. Being treated like a toddler does NOT make me want to read or post here (which is maybe their point).

This is what I came here to understand. I lurk here sporadically, but I’ve been on the Duggars forums forever. That’s what got me to TWOP before it was TWOP.  I don’t understand what they want us to do to promote diversity.  I don’t want to lose these spaces and all the people I’ve come to recognize over the years. 

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6 hours ago, Lisa418722 said:

When Primetimer shut down for the week, I wondered if it would even come back up.  I enjoy this site.  When my work computer is slow, I spend a few minutes checking in on a couple of boards. If it disappears, I will miss it.  But it would help to have some sort of clear explanation as to what's going on.

Did we have a "conversation" about this on the Primetimer subReddit?  I know I did with someone from here.  😉

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(edited)
1 hour ago, thehorseofpower said:

I don't post here often, but I read almost every day and found this forum to be a bit of a lifeline during the worst times of the pandemic. I see posters respectfully disagree and debate in a healthy way all the time. This forum is the opposite of rude, cruel, or harmful - it points out the cruelty and harm of the cult this family and its adjacent follow, for certain...but this is not a cult fan site. 

Calling people "punchable" or saying that they have "punchable" faces is rude and possibly harmful. That has been done numerous times.

Wishing infertility on a young couple (Justin and Claire) is cruel. That has been done more than once.

 

Edited by Dehumidifier
Spelling of name.
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12 minutes ago, Dehumidifier said:

Calling people "punchable" or saying that they have "punchable" faces is rude and possibly harmful. That has been done numerous times.

Wishing infertility on a young couple (Justin and Claire) is cruel. That has been done more than once.

 

I can see how that could be seen that way, but posts like that are few and far between. And weren't those posts done months or years ago? I wouldn't think they would fall under the new traffic light rules.

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26 minutes ago, Dehumidifier said:

Calling people "punchable" or saying that they have "punchable" faces is rude and possibly harmful. That has been done numerous times.

Wishing infertility on a young couple (Justin and Claire) is cruel. That has been done more than once.

 

I would support an instruction to change Cade's nickname and there is precedent for that. (See changes to David Rod's nickname and the struggle to find a nickname that was appropriate for Josh). It's actually a good example of a specific directive that would be really useful in this situation. 

For the Claire and Justin situation, it seems like it's a little more nuanced. Directly wishing infertility for them is over the line, but is it wrong to question whether it's not for the best that such a young couple aren't having baby after baby, especially when we know what this cult does to its children? I would argue that the second is a nuanced debate starter, which is what we're supposed to be after.

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22 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I can see how that could be seen that way, but posts like that are few and far between. And weren't those posts done months or years ago? I wouldn't think they would fall under the new traffic light rules.

The term "punchable aunt Cade" was last used on 2/18 in the Vuolo's thread.  They may be Duggar/Vuolo adjacent, but the couple has been consistently derided and ridiculed in that thread since their wedding.  For simply living their lives as they choose.  

Posters here deliberately go out and find information on these tangentially linked people and seemingly enjoy dragging them into the Duggar/Vuolo limelight.  

Not cool to many of us.  And not appropriate. 

Edited by SnapHappy
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10 minutes ago, SnapHappy said:

The term "punchable aunt Cade" was last used on 2/18 in the Vuolo's thread.  They may be Duggar/Vuolo adjacent, but the couple has been consistently derided and ridiculed in that thread since their wedding.  For simply living their lives as they choose.  

Posters here deliberately go out and find information on these tangentially linked people and seemingly enjoy dragging them into the Duggar/Vuolo limelight.  

Not cool to many of us.  And not appropriate. 

The relationship between Gabby and her husband is relevant because it's another example of the lifestyle and views of gender roles in their brand of Christianity. Cade will not allow Gabby to have the spotlight- he always ensures that he not only tags along but tries to take over and gain more attention than she does. It's quite similar to the dynamic between Jinger and Jeremy- she was a D-list reality TV celebrity, and he consistently tries to outshine her instead of taking the backseat. Gabby and Cade are/were friends with the Vuolos, and knew them well enough to have Jeremy officiate their wedding, which Jeremy happily posted all over SM. If it's being posted by the parties on their socials, I don't think it's overstepping to continue conversations about them in the thread for their "friends". 

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At least this entire forum wasn’t deleted without any warning like the Royals forum a couple months ago and the Shopping Channel forum yesterday.

I haven’t seen the Mods do anything and I don’t think they’re allowed to do anything but housekeeping duties etc.

all of the deleting forums, locking threads and traffic light actions have been performed by the two Community Managers.

@cm-soupsipper and @CM-CrispMtAir

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The managers' new guidelines/expectations state the below - where is the "targeted feedback" promised in the second paragraph to "coach" us? I see no targeted feedback from moderators/managers. They also say they are "evolving" from a "punitive" role. What is more punitive than threatening permanent deletion of a forum with the only clear feedback being that our thread titles, which were created with past mod permission, are now inappropriate (which members have no access to change)?

"Our moderation team is evolving from a traditional more punitive role to become champions of community health.  As you peruse the forums, you may see us:

Using emojis and targeted feedback to coach community members towards more inclusive and diverse perspectives.Connecting members by highlighting threads and posts that foster constructive dialogue.Challenging the community to think deeper and engage respectfully with differing viewpoints.Creating spaces for underrepresented voices, ensuring that a broad spectrum of experiences and opinions are heard.

Our moderators are here not just to enforce rules but to celebrate achievements, guide discussions, and help everyone find a place in our community."

 

 

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25 minutes ago, MaryAnneSpier said:

The relationship between Gabby and her husband is relevant because it's another example of the lifestyle and views of gender roles in their brand of Christianity. Cade will not allow Gabby to have the spotlight- he always ensures that he not only tags along but tries to take over and gain more attention than she does. It's quite similar to the dynamic between Jinger and Jeremy- she was a D-list reality TV celebrity, and he consistently tries to outshine her instead of taking the backseat. Gabby and Cade are/were friends with the Vuolos, and knew them well enough to have Jeremy officiate their wedding, which Jeremy happily posted all over SM. If it's being posted by the parties on their socials, I don't think it's overstepping to continue conversations about them in the thread for their "friends". 

When I was in college in an elective class (that was drama?, film?, theater? I don't remember) the professor talked about how celebrity/celebrity marriages have a poor success rate because both parties have egos that require a lot of attention and acclaim. Jeremy was a professional athlete and certainly hoped to be a star when he was growing up. Their need for attention may have nothing to do with their religion.

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The snow here is still falling, but it is not as bad as I expected so far.  Based on what is on my fence, I'm guessing we have had about 5 inches so far.  It is supposed to snow all day today and tomorrow morning. It should stop tomorrow afternoon, and it should be sunny, but very cold.  The snow plow came this morning so the road is clear, but I am staying inside today and tomorrow.  Hopefully my neighbor's grandson will shovel my driveway tomorrow.  Tahoe was under a blizzard warning and all roads through the Sierras have travel restrictions. , but at least the high, high winds have died down.  They were predicting about 10 feet at the higher elevations.  At least the weather is not as bad as last year when we set a 40 year snow record. 

I hope everyone here who is in a weather situation stays safe-- especially those near the Texas fires.

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2 minutes ago, AstridM said:

I knew it! 🤦‍♀️

You have said in the past that you thought these forums shouldn’t exist anymore because the shows are off the air. You don’t seem to like most of the posts here. May I ask why you stay?

1) Knew what? You think I complained yesterday?  Nope. 

2) I find it strangely fascinating.

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39 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

I really am not interested in coming to this site to coach, collaborate, create, self transform etc.  I just want a site where I can comment on scripted and reality tv shows. For scripted shows: the  plots, the writing , the characters, the costumes etc. I want to be able to say what a nonsensical  plot or an ugly costume and have that cheap laugh. 
 

For reality Tv:  these people consented to be filmed, and after filming was over, they created public social media sites and use those sites to make money selling products for themselves or others. They trade on their fame.  It’s fair   to be able to say I don’t like what they are doing.  I say so here- I don’t go to their page and say one negative word to them. I don’t know where they live and I don’t want to.  If I saw them in real life. I wouldn’t bother them. 
 

adding one additional comment :  if you felt Derrick was trolling Jazz on Twitter, then you can’t in return say it’s ok to troll Derrick.  It’s unfair to both or to neither 

Love your post!

I don't think what is posted here is trolling. Its sharing opinions, almost always in a respectful way, in a forum. Disrespectfully posting on IG and Twitter on public accounts, to me anyway, is a whole different ballgame. To me apples and oranges.

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My last contact with management was when I filled out the survey during the shutdown. My comments concerned 1) the use of "punchable" 2) that there should be a limit/quota on how many times a person can react to another person's comment like another site I know of has 3) the behavior of another poster. 

If someone complained yesterday it was probably the family that found its domestic issues being discussed on a TV forum.

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5 minutes ago, Dehumidifier said:

My last contact with management was when I filled out the survey during the shutdown. My comments concerned 1) the use of "punchable" 2) that there should be a limit/quota on how many times a person can react to another person's comment like another site I know of has 3) the behavior of another poster. 

If someone complained yesterday it was probably the family that found its domestic issues being discussed on a TV forum.

I don't think anyone complained yesterday.  I think the thread closures yesterday were a result of the survey, and these will not be the only forums affected by the new policies.  Valid concerns were raised and are now being addressed.

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(edited)
28 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I don't think anyone complained yesterday.  I think the thread closures yesterday were a result of the survey, and these will not be the only forums affected by the new policies.  Valid concerns were raised and are now being addressed.

How? No one here even understands what the actual issues are and how to correct them. We aren’t able to change the thread titles ourselves .

Edited by AstridM
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Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Guest

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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