Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Readalot]

Pure beauty that Maisie!

[CarolMK]

Lovely picture of Maisie, what a beautiful baby she is!

 

I'm glad to see that so many of us are blood donors as well as organ donors. My sister, who is a middle school science teacher, feels so strongly about organ donation that she wants to donate her body to science as well when she passes away...although here in NJ, that might not be so easy to accomplish. We have some weird laws in this state, such as not being allowed to donate bodies to science.

 

Also, my state is the only one that requires newly licensed drivers and permit drivers to attach a red sticker to the license plate. It's a safety precaution, I'm aware, but everyone I know who has daughters doesn't use them. It's advertising to the whole world, "yes, I am 18 years old and younger and I am alone". I do like the idea that we have the graduated licensed driver's laws here, but not Meghan's law. One of my friends freaked out when her daughter was followed coming home from her job at Burger King that her husband took the stickers off the minute she came home.

[wanderwoman]

Good luck, wanderwoman! Will the hearing aids allow Maisie to really hear more clearly for the first time? I can't even imagine what that would be like (I saw that video online a few weeks ago that was a compilation of people hearing for the first time in their lives and I was a weepy mess, it was beautiful).

This video gives a demonstration on how aids and implants translate sound.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2636415/What-deaf-hear-Audio-file-reveals-s-like-listen-world-using-cochlear-implant.html

The hearing aid she gets today will take her from the hearing you would equate to listening to a conversation while " sitting on the bottom of a pool with ear plugs in" to sitting in a bathtub with your ears slightly submerged". In other words, she still won't hear details and certain consonants, but she will be able to hear tones, most vowel sounds, and loud environmental noise. Like, now if we drop firewood on the hearth, she can be two feet away and won't startle. If a dog barks or thunder rolls, she has zero reaction while most of us would flinch or turn our heads to inspect the situation. My understanding is the aid will allow her to experience some of those noises and help train her brain to distinguish between noise and speech when she gets the implant.

Edited May 29, 2015 by wanderwoman

[Bella]

The hearing aid she gets today will take her from the hearing you would equate to listening to a conversation while " sitting on the bottom of a pool with ear plugs in" to sitting in a bathtub with your ears slightly submerged". In other words, she still won't hear details and certain consonants, but she will be able to hear tones, most vowel sounds, and loud environmental noise. Like, now if we drop firewood on the hearth, she can be two feet away and won't startle. If a dog barks or thunder rolls, she has zero reaction while most of us would flinch or turn our heads to inspect the situation. My understanding is the aid will allow her to experience some of those noises and help train her brain to distinguish between noise and speech when she gets the implant.

 

That is so cool! I've sometimes wondered - but never had the nerve to ask despite being a pretty direct person - how people who suddenly hear manage to adapt. I would think it could be frightening to go from nothing or almost nothing to hearing a lot quite suddenly. This sounds like a fantastic way to make the transition.

[Happyfatchick]

When in doubt, blame the Duggars!

.

Does this mean "W" is finally off the hook?

You all (y'all) know I'm all about snarking at myself because I live in the deep American south. I have a south story, and PLEASE tell me if you get tired of my stories, even if you have to PM me so you won't be embarrassed.

Yesterday a business acquaintance from Los Angeles flew thru Atlanta with her husband and had a layover. I picked them up and we did a short tour of Atlanta. He wanted to see Peachtree Street (I know...which one???) so off we went.

During lunch, we were talking about their lack of rain, and I was commenting that I live between 2 lakes (really ponds), and when it rains 3-4 inches, I can hear water coming over the dam behind us. Suddenly her husband throws out his hands and cries, "STOP, STOP, STOP!!!" I looked at him in confusion. His eyes are sparkling, he's bouncing his palms on the table, excited like a little kid. He says, "say it again!!!"

Huh? Say WHAT again? "The part about hearing the water in back...."

I still didn't get it. "Over the dam?" I asked, innocent as a baby.

He looks at his wife gleefully and says, "she really says it!!! They really DO say DAY-UM in the south!!!!"

Edited May 29, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Wellfleet]

Maisie is a little dolly girl, and needless to say, perfectly beautiful. It's great to have an image to go along with the stories now. Truth be told, I've been imagining Maisie to be a bitty version of the Campbell's Soup Kid Girl. So at least I got the cheeks right! :>)

[NEGirl]

CarolMK - I live in New Jersey and can assure you that NJ has a Megan's Law. New Jersey was the 1st state to pass the law after the murder of Megan Kanka. Her mother worked tirelessly to have the law passed and spoke all over the state, including the town I live in. Megan's Law is for convicted sex offenders and works on a tier basis based on the offense the individual was convicted of. New Jersey also has a "Community Supervision For Life" law which means certains sex offenders are under the supervision of Parole for the rest of their life. These laws have been in effect for many years.

[Julia]

I've given blood quite a bit. I'm O-negative which is the universal donor so I try to make it a point to give a couple of times per year.

I donate blood 4-6 times a year. For me, it's a really simple thing I can do that has an enormous impact.

I am trying to get my son to donate- he is ABO negative. Rather rare, I think.

I'm a rare blood type (which is how I got in to one of the NY Blood Centers on 9/11, true story, there were literally thousands of people on line, it wasn't easy). They generally don't want my blood unless there's an emergency, because they might not have a call for it while it's viable. My husband and daughter, though, are both O negative, and he's approaching five gallons at this point, and she's doing her best to catch up.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Julia

[CarolMK]

Oops, I meant Kayleigh's law, not Meghan's law for New Jersey. Kayleigh's law refers to the underaged driver needing a red sticker on the license plate of the vehicle, anyone under 18 who is a newly licensed driver and those with driver's permits must display the sticker.

It has nothing to do with sex offenders. As far as I know we are the only state that has to do this, and it's been in effect for the last 5 years. I wish I knew how to post the link for it. 

[Julia]

Oops, I meant Kayleigh's law, not Meghan's law for New Jersey. Kayleigh's law refers to the underaged driver needing a red sticker on the license plate of the vehicle, anyone under 18 who is a newly licensed driver and those with driver's permits must display the sticker.

It has nothing to do with sex offenders. As far as I know we are the only state that has to do this, and it's been in effect for the last 5 years. I wish I knew how to post the link for it.

I think this might help.

[NEGirl]

CarolMk - No problem - its hard to keep track with everything we are posting !

Question -Does the sticker go on the parents car or just a car bought for the kid to drive?

 

*opps - Just saw the link above after I posted this. Sorry.

Edited May 29, 2015 by NEGirl

[Readalot]

When in doubt, blame the Duggars!

Duggars the new Obama?

[Happyfatchick]

Dear Executive Label Designer of Pantene Products:

I'm going to need for you to reconsider your current label design immediately. The words "SHAMPOO" and "CONDITIONER" need to be as large or larger than your product name. I can't wear my reading glasses in the shower. Thank you for your immediate attention to this very important matter.

Regards, Over Fifty But Still Appreciate Clean Hair

[Fuzzysox]

Ha! Danny Hasert went to Wheaton College as did Bill Gothard.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[ninjawirehead]

 

oh look, an anime fan. *waves*. I wish i could get my mom to watch anime with me sometimes, but the only asian entertainment she's into would be chinese kung fu movies.

I started watching anime when Toonami was on prime time on Saturdays. The kiddo told me about it and I watched "Naruto" with her. So yes, I was hooked from the beginning.  True story: When the kid unit was in 7th grade. she calls me because one of her friends was convinced that he had the correct names of the Captains and Vice Captains of the Gotei 13 from "Bleach". She was sure he was wrong, and because I am a big fan of Bleach, she gave me a ring. And here I am, in my forties, listing the correct names and divisions for some anime characters to a middle school kid.  Her friends decided I was cool at that point lol. I promise I was NOT considered cool when I was her age. And because of my anime love, I have J-rock and J-pop on my phone's music list.  I am now a fan of Buck Tick, Hyde and his various bands/side projects, and Abingdon Boys School. Hell, I have a mad fangirl crushes on Hyde, K.A.Z. and Atsushi Sakurai.  Thanks loads daughter of mine. :)

 

Suz At Large, I turned 50 in December. Not only is my brain no longer at its peak capacity, I've turned cranky and into a curmudgeon.  I would say "Get off my lawn" but I live in an apartment complex. So, technically speaking, the lawn ain't mine.  Comcast and I have an interesting relationship. Let's just say the billing department would like to blacklist me but can't.

Edited May 30, 2015 by ninjawirehead

[wanderwoman]

So, she has her hearing aids in and, so far,...she's not very happy about them. They're molded perfectly to her ears and tech said they're perfect, but she's not liking them. I don't know what I was expecting. Truth is, after watching videos of kids getting their devices turned on, I forgot that she's still such a young infant. They turned them on and did a test with some tones and she DID react, but it was an annoyed reaction. She had what could pass for a grin when daddy was buckling her in her car seat, but the noise from the car seemed to make her very pissed off. The audiologist had said we might need to adjust the volume for really loud noises but I didn't think road noise would freak her out. Hubby accidentally hit the rumble strip that makes the "wake up!"noise for truckers and she lost it. I had never thought about how jarring those noises are. Once we got home, we walked down to the lake with her in the backpack. She is fascinated with leaves and light playing off of leaves so we it would calm her down. In any case, a woodpecker started working over a tree pretty close by and she TURNED her head that direction. We both started tearing up. it's been a big day.

Edited May 30, 2015 by wanderwoman

[Wellfleet]

So, she has her hearing aids in and, so far,...she's not very happy about them. They're molded perfectly to her ears and tech said they're perfect, but she's not liking them. I don't know what I was expecting. Truth is, after watching videos of kids getting their devices turned on, I forgot that she's still such a young infant. They turned them on and did a test with some tones and she DID react, but it was an annoyed reaction. She had what could pass for a grin when daddy was buckling her in her car seat, but the noise from the car seemed to make her very pissed off. The audiologist had said we might need to adjust the volume for really loud noises but I didn't think road noise would freak her out. Hubby accidentally hit the rumble strip that makes the "wake up!"noise for truckers and she lost it. I had never thought about how jarring those noises are. Once we got home, we walked down to the lake with her in the backpack. She is fascinated with leaves and light playing off of leaves so we it would calm her down. In any case, a woodpecker started working over a tree pretty close by and she TURNED her head that direction. We both started tearing up. it's been a big day.

 

And you're off!  Wonderful news. It's great that everything fits well. Of course, there's going to be a period of adjustment, especially when you think of the nice, sedate, quiet cocoon Maisie has become accustomed to til now. But you're on your way!

[Absolom]

You're getting a delayed bit of what some newborns do of squawking about any noise that bugs them.  My granddaughter was like that and expected that we would shush the garbage truck, gardeners, and horns on the freeway.  She particularly did not want the dog to bark.  In a a few days hopefully it won't seem so strange to her.  She had quite a bit of time in peace and quiet.  Does she wear the hearing aids at night?  I hope it doesn't disturb her sleep.  

[Readalot]

Wanderwoman, just wait until you laugh and Maisie laughs back or the look on her face when she hears music she likes. I can't wait to hear those updates! I hope the next few adjustment days are as easy as possible.

[Itsnotreality]

That's a great update Wanderwoman. I know I'll think of Maisie next time I see or hear a woodpecker. And agree with Absolman - I'd forgotten that until she mentioned it but definitely remember one of my babes being hottily annoyed at certain noises. (In fact I was at a check out of a large chain store today and became hottily annoyed at the beep beep coming from multiple cash registers as every item was scanned. The things we even as adults have to train our ears not to hear!!!)

[Seashell Lover]

Please kill me now. My grandsons made a few friends and now they are having a sleepover and I know I will not be getting any sleep. At least They are starting to act like little boys should be acting. 

[wanderwoman]

You're getting a delayed bit of what some newborns do of squawking about any noise that bugs them. My granddaughter was like that and expected that we would shush the garbage truck, gardeners, and horns on the freeway. She particularly did not want the dog to bark. In a a few days hopefully it won't seem so strange to her. She had quite a bit of time in peace and quiet. Does she wear the hearing aids at night? I hope it doesn't disturb her sleep.

They told us to take them out at night, for now. We thought we would leave them in but her nasal cannula tubing could aggravate the way they sit in her ears. She's weaned off oxygen during the day but is still monitored and supplemented at night. The alarms on those machines are very loud and if it goes off with her hearing aid, it may cause more harm than help. We are starting with the aids in during waking hours.

One thing I wanted to share with my forum friends and get a little advice on- how often did any of you have little arguments with your partner or spouse after a baby came into the family. It's nothing major, truly. Ever since we got out if the NICU, DH has been working at an incredible clip. Most of it is timing- this is his busy season and there was a big incident last week- but, I feel like we only spend time together in a car or at a doctor's office. I'm proud of my husband. His dedication means we can give our daughter me, her therapist, and a home. But I feel like we're losing an ease we used to have. It's got to be normal after you have a child, right? I guess I'm over tired.

Edited May 30, 2015 by wanderwoman

[Wellfleet]

Please kill me now. My grandsons made a few friends and now they are having a sleepover and I know I will not be getting any sleep. At least They are starting to act like little boys should be acting. 

 

Nope, you probably won't. Tip - get your coffee ready to go tonight. You'll be glad when AM comes and you're so bleary you're conking into things. And may the Force be with you... :>)

Edited May 30, 2015 by Wellfleet

[dillpickles]

I started watching anime when Toonami was on prime time on Saturdays. The kiddo told me about it and I watched "Naruto" with her. So yes, I was hooked from the beginning. True story: When the kid unit was in 7th grade. she calls me because one of her friends was convinced that he had the correct names of the Captains and Vice Captains of the Gotei 13 from "Bleach". She was sure he was wrong, and because I am a big fan of Bleach, she gave me a ring. And here I am, in my forties, listing the correct names and divisions for some anime characters to a middle school kid. Her friends decided I was cool at that point lol. I promise I was NOT considered cool when I was her age. And because of my anime love, I have J-rock and J-pop on my phone's music list. I am now a fan of Buck Tick, Hyde and his various bands/side projects, and Abingdon Boys School. Hell, I have a mad fangirl crushes on Hyde, K.A.Z. and Atsushi Sakurai. Thanks loads daughter of mine. :)

Suz At Large, I turned 50 in December. Not only is my brain no longer at its peak capacity, I've turned cranky and into a curmudgeon. I would say "Get off my lawn" but I live in an apartment complex. So, technically speaking, the lawn ain't mine. Comcast and I have an interesting relationship. Let's just say the billing department would like to blacklist me but can't.

Ahhh! You sound awesome. And yeah, buck tick forever. How do you feel about Gackt? And vocaloid stuff?

*nerding out a bit*

[wanderwoman]

Nope, you probably won't. Tip - get your coffee ready to go tonight. You'll be glad when AM comes and you're so bleary you're conking into things... :>)

Lol. I agree.

[Readalot]

They told us to take them out at night, for now. We thought we would leave them in but her nasal cannula tubing could aggravate the way they sit in her ears. She's weaned off oxygen during the day but is still monitored and supplemented at night. The alarms on those machines are very loud and if it goes off with her hearing aid, it may cause more harm than help. We are starting with the aids in during waking hours.

One thing I wanted to share with my forum friends and get a little advice on- how often did any of you have little arguments with your partner or spouse after a baby came into the family. It's nothing major, truly. Ever since we got out if the NICU, DH has been working at an incredible clip. Most of it is timing- this is his busy season and there was a big incident last week- but, I feel like we only spend time together in a car or at a doctor's office. I'm proud of my husband. His dedication means we can give our daughter me, her therapist, and a home. But I feel like we're losing an ease we used to have. It's got to be normal after you have a child, right? I guess I'm over tired.

I get it. My DH worked 12 hour shifts overnight plus OT and I was dealing with our DD with a cleft palate who took 1.5 hours to drink 4 oz all while pumping. We were both exhauseted. We'd been married for 7.5 years when we had her. New roles for both of us, it was an adjustment that took awhile. I think we were too hard on ourselves. One day at a time is my advise. One day you will wake up and realize things are falling into place without you even recognizing it. All my best!

[wanderwoman]

I get it. My DH worked 12 hour shifts overnight plus OT and I was dealing with our DD with a cleft palate who took 1.5 hours to drink 4 oz all while pumping. We were both exhauseted. We'd been married for 7.5 years when we had her. New roles for both of us, it was an adjustment that took awhile. I think we were too hard on ourselves. One day at a time is my advise. One day you will wake up and realize things are falling into place without you even recognizing it. All my best!

Thanks for that. We've only been married five years but we've been together almost nine. We had such an active lifestyle and literally didn't argue until the pregnancy. I thought I was just hormonal and it's possible we're both just exhausted. I just feel like you described- spending all of my time focused on our child and he is probably stressing over bills, work, and the like. I think some of it is me- most of it really. When I was in the NICU with Maisie and he was going back and forth, I had no energy to give him and I think he expected we'd slip easily into our old routines once we got Maisie home. I have changed my spontaneity and I worry more than I relax and, honestly, I'm perfectly willing to...make him a sandwich and let him figure out that other business because I'm too f-ing tired. I can't follow Michelle's advice. Now, he'd never push it or anything but I sometimes don't feel like I've got my body back yet. Still pumping and nursing. Just recently got my non maternity clothes back on. How long is normal before,...you feel like being the old you? Or, is that gone? We talked and I told him I feel like a nun now. Lol

[ninjawirehead]

 

Ahhh! You sound awesome. And yeah, buck tick forever. How do you feel about Gackt? And vocaloid stuff?

*nerding out a bit*

You know, I am not truly familiar with Vocaloid stuff. I do see a lot of Vocaloid cosplay at my town's Japan Festival every year though.  I had not heard a lot of Gackt stuff, but what I have heard, I liked.  Oh, and I totally forgot to mention Exist Trace,  Yoko Kanno and Ishii Yasushi.  I love Exist Trace, and the fact that it's an all female goth/visual kei group makes me happy.  But dear God, I have it bad for Atsushi Sakurai.  I have seen a few Buck Tick videos and to kind of quote Ginger Minj from RuPaul's Drag Race, Sakurai-san floods my basement.  Funny thing is, he is not the kind of man I am usually attracted to, but his voice....Lord his voice!

 

I just finished watching Ergo Proxy and Durararax2 part 1 on Hulu and rewatched a lot of Darker than Black and Black Lagoon.  Hulu rocks for anime, they have a pretty good library of the stuff. I have watched Hellsing: Ultimate three times!  This sounds strange, but I hate horror movies and vampire films. Truly dislike the stuff.  Twilight and all that crap, don't give it a moment's notice. But Hellsing and Blood+ and Trinity Blood? I love them. Go figure. :)

[Happyfatchick]

Wonder Woman, (I always call you that in my head), my heart strings get pulled every time you post. Yes, of COURSE we all went thru adjustments when we had children. Little suckers are SO demanding, they suck the life right out of you. Plus, nine years is a really long time to have someone's undivided attention. You're BOTH divided now. Additionally, you had a difficult pregnancy and nothing but trauma since delivering. You have to remember the things you loved so much about him that you wanted to create something that was both of you together. And I promise, as she gets older and returns some of the attention you're lathering all over her, you will fall into a routine again. You'll find yourself. Probably not your old self, but a new self who looks around and says, "well. I'll be damn. THIS feels like survival.

I've had 3 babies in my lifetime, and truthfully, I don't like babies much. It drove me CRAZY that I didn't quite know what to DO with baby #1. If he'd just TELL me what he wants, I would surely DO it. By 3 months, I was beginning to think I might keep him, and by 6 months, he was the bomb diggity. When I had his sister 2 years later, I worried the whole pregnancy that I would never learn to love her like I already did her brother. I couldn't imagine my heart stretching that far. I didn't worry so much with her as with him, and the feeling that an alien had invaded our house.

You love her like crazy, and the baby bonding gets better and better every day. I know that wasn't really your question, but it really is your answer. She's demanding so much of your attention and you've had so much emotional high/low, the post pg hormone readjustment thing may just be off a little. You have to relearn how to relax and be who you are. You have to learn how to live one day at a time until she becomes a habit (a habit you LOVE) and you become a family unit. Right now, it's overwhelming what you've been through. You didn't get a fair chance to settle in and be a family for so long, it's just going to take you a minute to get there. Besides ALL of the above, you said you are both type A. Good God. Both of you running at a fever pitch with not just Maisie, but a therapist involved in your lives too.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing an amazing job and you guys will be fine before long, I just KNOW it. Hugs!!!

p.s.: what the CRAP are these crazy fellow posters talking about with vulcaloids, proxies, hellmonsters and other made up junk? I feel like I've fallen into an alternate universe!!!

Edited May 30, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Absolom]

What Happyfatchick said.  Yes, one life is in a way over, but a new and possibly more rewarding life is forming.  You and he are tired and stressed and you've invited another human into your home - permanently.  It is different, but remember the first grin?  The first laugh is even better and then she'll grab things and begin to gurgle at you and you won't remember half the problems.  It does get easier and you've had so many more issues than most people face.  Try to find just a few minutes maybe right after she goes down for the night to just unwind with each other.  It can help and remind each other you love each other and care.  

 

I'd wondered about the alarms at night and I'm glad Miss Maisie will be spared hearing them for at least awhile.  That could be quite the shock for her.

[Honeycocoa]

Hi Wanderwoman. Yes very normal, but the two of you have a new normal now and you have to negotiate issues that you never had to worry about before.  You have a great history to build on, but I your life is different now.

My Mother in Law passed away eight weeks after my son was born  ( and my dad had heart surgery and  one of the cats died) We were a mess. After four months we went to Disneyland because it was the only thing I could think of that I knew would make my husband smile.  My mom went with us to help and we all felt a little better when we got back. I swear thinking about that band new baby time just gives me chills. You guys are having your own little post traumatic stress here that you are dealing with . This sure as hell wasn't normal birth, whatever you need to do to take care of each other is probably a good idea.

 

Good luck surviving the sleep over Seashells!

 

And I don't know my animee, but I did  take a wonderful trip to Japan once. Such a beautiful country!

[Love2dance]

Wonderwoman, even with a so called "normal" birth, without any premature or health issues, it takes quite a while to feel like a couple again. Harmones are all over the place, you are exhausted all the time, and worried over every baby issue....which come up daily. There is guilt over not giving attention to your hubby, but too tired to do much about it. What you are going through with all of Maisie's hearing needs, and having a helper full time in the home, must be overwhelming! It seems to me that the two of you are doing an amazing job. I am not in the health field at all, but if you continue to feel this way, you might want to just check with your doctor to rule out any postpartum depression. I have several friends and family members who felt so much better after getting help for their "blues." You have been through SO MUCH, and you should be so proud of everything you have been able to do for Maisie so far. Many cyber hugs to you!!!!!!!!!

[Readalot]

Thanks for that. We've only been married five years but we've been together almost nine. We had such an active lifestyle and literally didn't argue until the pregnancy. I thought I was just hormonal and it's possible we're both just exhausted. I just feel like you described- spending all of my time focused on our child and he is probably stressing over bills, work, and the like. I think some of it is me- most of it really. When I was in the NICU with Maisie and he was going back and forth, I had no energy to give him and I think he expected we'd slip easily into our old routines once we got Maisie home. I have changed my spontaneity and I worry more than I relax and, honestly, I'm perfectly willing to...make him a sandwich and let him figure out that other business because I'm too f-ing tired. I can't follow Michelle's advice. Now, he'd never push it or anything but I sometimes don't feel like I've got my body back yet. Still pumping and nursing. Just recently got my non maternity clothes back on. How long is normal before,...you feel like being the old you? Or, is that gone? We talked and I told him I feel like a nun now. Lol

. Hang in there! I can admit I had some anger at the beginning. Not at our DD or hubby but at myself. Angry I couldn't protect my DD from a birth defect, angry I couldn't sleep, heck angry I couldn't pick up a book when I wanted to (I didn't realize how much I used reading as my "me" time to relax). As far as "us" I think we were too used to being self sufficient and in control. We worked 120 miles apart and lived in the middle so there was a lot we did on our own. ie I lived on bagels the first month or two after DD was born. I remember I asked him to stop at the bagel shop on the way home (8 am) to restock the freezer and he freaked out. I knew he was burning both ends but so was I. I was like "hey remember, we have a baby and I get 3 hours of sleep a day when you first get home and I haven't showered in a week and I will probably crash but ok I will go later". So unlike us to bicker about things like that. we were pod people. I think it wasn't till after I stopped pumping (2 months) that we started getting back to "normal". While we connected on everything DD (lots of dr appts and decisions) I also didn't realize until afterward we Really did need affection to keep things smooth. Looking back I think more hugs and minute massages than usual would of helped even things out. I think half the battle is realizing things really are changing in your marriage and it's ok! I could write a book....In here for you via DM if needed.

[Itsnotreality]

Hey Wanderwoman. The working non-stop is actually an official common response for new dads, in fact, especially so for dads of kids with special needs. It apparantly is an almost primal response of wanting to be the hunter/gatherer and want to fulfill that role as they see the mother suddenly going into Mach 10 level of mothering and being able to do all these things they may feel they can't (ex. breastfeeding, becoming sensitive to the slightest difference in cries, etc). In cases where um, say, one parent has spent an incredible amount of more time with the new baby or adopted child the other partner may feel that because that partner is an expert on the child, they want to match their partners incredible parenting, and bringing in the $$$ through hours working is one way of fulfilling that role. It is likely not even deliberate. One great response to that is recognizing their role and expertise in areas that are important but different from yours... even in small ways when you are alone, and with others, ex, bestowing the title Expert Swaddler or remarking how the baby likes singing and you hate singing, could he take that over... Anyway, longer response than I'm sure you wanted, but completely natural, even has a name, but I can't look it up at the moment. With his very first fathers day coming up (or don't wait -celebrate X days home with Maisie) a great chance to be mushy and acknowledge what a great dad he has become.

[Mrsjumbo]

While all this swirls around about the Duggars, I can't help but get angry.

Do you know how many children in the State Schools for the Deaf are abused in every state? No one really gives a shit because well, they are tucked away in beautiful buildings supported by taxpayer dollars being taught by who else, deaf culture people. Deaf schools have existed since the beginning of time. Google is your best friend. You'll find many cases. Not only that, reporting is strongly discouraged. They take care of it "in-house".

Sad thing is, they don't realize it is abuse. A 15 year old girl who has a deaf 27 year old "boyfriend"who is the head cook at the deaf school is simply, "cool".

I am thrilled that more deafies are attending regular classes with little or no supportive services.

OT: the Thunderbirds are practicing right now. Wonder if any of the Browns are in town!

[Mrsjumbo]

My brother was hit by a car at 5 & lost his hearing. He was sent away to a school for the deaf & came home on weekends. We always considered him lucky that he didn't grow up in our house with our alcoholic father & distant, cold mother. He's the one that accomplished more than any of us kids- got his masters. Imho, the school fostered independence way more than my parents ever did. The school encouraged the kids to learn lip reading. At home we were discouraged from persuing any further education besides high school or getting any job besides a minimum wage type (I think the thought was that we would get married & our husbands would support us- sound familiar?). My brother functions very well in a hearing world & even married a hearing wife!

We were a family with 4 kids. My favorite stories growing up were the downtrodden only child who triumphs in the end (The little Lame Prince, ALittle Princess. The Secret Garden, Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables).

Edited May 30, 2015 by Mrsjumbo

[Mrsjumbo]

Info on blood storage: http://www.redcrossblood.org/learn-about-blood/what-happens-donated-blood I'm O negative, they want my blood, LOL! Anyone can be given O negative, but those with O negative can only be given the same.

Another O- here! They LOVE me!

[lookeyloo]

Wanderwoman, just want to echo what the above posters have said re: the ease back into life.  It will be a new normal.  You have a third party in the house now, meaning the beautiful Maisie.  The therapist won't be there forever, but Maisie will for the foreseeable future.  Life can never be the same as it was, even if Maisie didn't have her challenges in the beginning and now as you solve the hearing situation.  You will ease into a new normal as long as you both know this is a temporary situation and if you thing it is going off one way or the other, you will look for help in getting back on track.  My first child was born when the then husband was a third year medical student.  And I was basically alone.  I thought having the baby would be a solution for my loneliness.  Except it wasn't.  But, baby got older, slept more, I got outside, and all those other things returned to the new normal.  (I can't believe I said "new normal" 4 times counting this one!!)  But, as someone above said, if you have the baby blues or PPD, you are wise enough to address that.  But, although I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV, I am going to guess that a little time will put things back to where you and the Mr. are happy with them.

[amitville]

They told us to take them out at night, for now. We thought we would leave them in but her nasal cannula tubing could aggravate the way they sit in her ears. She's weaned off oxygen during the day but is still monitored and supplemented at night. The alarms on those machines are very loud and if it goes off with her hearing aid, it may cause more harm than help. We are starting with the aids in during waking hours.

One thing I wanted to share with my forum friends and get a little advice on- how often did any of you have little arguments with your partner or spouse after a baby came into the family. It's nothing major, truly. Ever since we got out if the NICU, DH has been working at an incredible clip. Most of it is timing- this is his busy season and there was a big incident last week- but, I feel like we only spend time together in a car or at a doctor's office. I'm proud of my husband. His dedication means we can give our daughter me, her therapist, and a home. But I feel like we're losing an ease we used to have. It's got to be normal after you have a child, right? I guess I'm over tired.

I m crying happy tears and dancing around my kitchen  thank you for sharing  our Maisie progress.

 

 

Please kill me now. My grandsons made a few friends and now they are having a sleepover and I know I will not be getting any sleep. At least They are starting to act like little boys should be acting. 

Make pot of strong coffee better yet espresso and enjoy your evening sounds like fun

 

I must say i love reading this board it start my day with a smile and a positive attitude ...

Edited May 30, 2015 by amitville

[zenme]

Please kill me now. My grandsons made a few friends and now they are having a sleepover and I know I will not be getting any sleep. At least They are starting to act like little boys should be acting.

 

I'm right there with you.  My husband and I are having our nephew spend the night.   He watched DVDs and had popcorn until the wee hours, and around 6:30am he came into our room to let us know that it's morning.  SMH. 

[Mrsjumbo]

Wanderwoman, I finally caught up on posts & squee! A Maisie picture! So beautiful!

When I had my firsts (twins), I went from working my whole life to being a SAHM, moving with dh a few months later across the country away from friends & family. DH left the house at 6 am & came home at 8 pm (he had to take a train to commute 1 1/2 hrs each way). The whole first year was a blur of no sleep & taking care of babies. I always tell new parents that if you can make it through the first year, the rest is easy!

I love that you are taking Maisie out for hikes, etc. it is good for both of you!

[zenme]

I always tell new parents that if you can make it through the first year, the rest is easy!

 

Oh my! For a few years, and THEN come the teen years...

[Mrsjumbo]

Yes, we are there now...

[zenme]

Yes, we are there now..

 

We are now passed the teen years, and into the college years...They are a joy and I love the people they are.  It was all worth it. 

[Jellybeans]

Wanderwoman, I NEVER sleep with my hearing aid or implant on at night. ears need rest from earmolds IMO. I am 60 and get tired of having things in, around and on my ears. I consider night a time of respite for ears.

It is normal not to "like" certain sounds. Especially the ones you describe. You might expose her to different sounds, make note of what she responds to best and what she does not like (note the loudness level) because programming babies is difficult at best. She can't tell you that high tones are too high, etc.

It is probably because it is new. Rumbling trucks are not a fun sound to hear for the first time.

And when my implant was turned on for the first time I hated it. It sounded like "snow" on an old TV. Ugh.....

Noisy places such as restaurants will drive her crazy until she adapts. Don't try to make things quiet, but introduce her to sound.. music, nature, household noises... oh and the vitamix will prolly make her scream lol.

Edited May 30, 2015 by Jellybeans

[Happyfatchick]

Please kill me now. My grandsons made a few friends and now they are having a sleepover and I know I will not be getting any sleep. At least They are starting to act like little boys should be acting.

. So the night has passed... How are things???

[emma675]

I don't have kids, wanderwoman, but my cousin said after her first one she considered the first 3 months her "survival period". She said as much as she loved her baby she didn't always like her, if that makes sense. All the baby did was need and want and demand, and she was exhausted and hormonal and had trouble breast feeding, which made her feel even worse. I think most new mothers are doing the best they can to keep things together, I can't even imagine how difficult it is with a special needs baby. I think y'all are doing an amazing job and Maisie is very lucky to have you both.

Edited May 30, 2015 by emma675d

[Happyfatchick]

I've just had a call that my second brother, Dale, is on his way to a hospital in Atlanta. He was working at their church and took a 277 (?) volt of electricity arm to arm that crossed through his chest. Fell off a ladder in the process. He is conscious and in pain, can't move one arm. That's all I have right now, will post later. If you're a praying person, I'd appreciate any thoughts going his way.

[ramble]

Happy praying for your brother Dale right now.

[Love2dance]

Happyfatchick.....sending healing thoughts and prayers to your brother and your family.