Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Mrsjumbo]

My ds3 has autism & getting services for him was a joke. At 3 he was still non verbal. I had him evaluated & it was decided that 30 min of ST 1 x a week was enough. I looked into private ST on my own & she recommended ST, 1 hr sessions 2 x a week. I credit this ST for really helping my Ds's brain develop at a time that he really needed it. Private Ins. only paid for 30 visits, & at 2 visits a week it didn't last too long. So she helped me apply for Medicaid for him, even though we had ins. through Mr Jumbo's work. We pay based on our income- it's not cheap- but we aren't limited in his therapies now. And it's much, much cheaper than if we had to pay out of pocket.

You have to fight for what you think is right. The therapies at public school are, frankly, laughable. Not that the therapists are not qualified, but at 8 yrs old he's still getting therapies only once a week. Thank goodness for the private therapies!

You may want to join a support group for moms of preemies. I'm sure you will find little tidbits of info that will be helpful. Like the mom of an autistic boy that told me about melatonin, I will be eternally grateful to her. I didn't realize many autistic children have sleep disorders & that melatonin is safe to use & helps immensely. I had been blaming my parenting when my DS was up till 3 a.m. & hyper. It's the information sharing that will help you keep your sanity.

Edited March 21, 2015 by Mrsjumbo

[GEML]

Wow- I don't know what state you are in, but my son is on the spectrum (he has some autistic tendencies but there isn't enough for a full diagnosis) and the intervention in his education and in his schools was overwhelmingly positive. And I was friends with many mothers who have non-verbal autistic children who were making full use of the school facilities because the private options were so expensive and were pretty pleased.

But it does vary by state.

And I just want to say that my son was born late. My daughter was my preemie, and while she's going to need some speech therapy, she will need far less intervention than her brother did. Kids are who they are, and their births are only a small part of who they are, less and less, as they get older.

[Brookside]

Wanderwoman - I've been reading your posts and the responses through tears of sadness and hope and gratitude.  I'm hoping all your current changes and worries are resolving themselves and that the lovely Maisie continues to thrive.

 

I know from personal experience that it can be very difficult to accept help, but you obviously have loving family and friends who want to.  I wonder if you have a strong, assertive friend/family member who would take over some of the mundane things for you and your husband once you get home.  This would be someone who could set up one of those on-line sites for family and friends to sign up for meal deliveries. Someone who could give suggestions for a weekly cleaning service, yard work, etc.  Your husband could coordinate with her/him with email addresses.  I suggest this person should be assertive, because in my experience it's best to have someone who is able to say "The WanderFamily is not ready yet to accept visitors, so if you are signed up for a meal, it would be most appreciated if you could leave it on the porch in disposable containers" or words to that effect.  This approach can sound kind of harsh, and some people may be offended, but those who really want to help will appreciate the opportunity and the guidelines.  Your coordinator person could also have a list of suggestions for local food delivery services for out-of-towners - whether local takeaway, a deli platter from the supermarket or whatever.  (Sorry, I've no idea where you live, or what your local support network is like.)

 

But (big but here), if you do something like this, it should cause no stress to you.  Ideally, you would ask someone close to coordinate, let them know what will help, and then leave it to them - no more involvement except being able to get through a day without worrying about dinner.

 

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Edited March 23, 2015 by Brookside

[msblossom]

(I'm headed to Ireland, but currently in Texas for another month or so. And yes, I do miss it, because it was my home, but I'll admit, I remember being Anna - I came to DC in my mid twenties with a small child - and although I don't agree with their positions on much, with 20 years perspective, I empathize with the learning curve.)

GEML, oh Ireland, okay. I would love to travel to Ireland someday, I'm half Irish. Have you ever watched the show The Great Irish Bake Off? I love it. I watch it online. It's a reality baking show, they have one called the Great British Bake Off too online & on PBS. It's so much better than American cooking reality shows bc the contestants are nice to each other and want to see everyone do well and they spend a lot of time actually cooking, or baking as it happens on this show, instead of spending a lot of wasted time on drama. Plus, the accents; love 'em! I'm really hooked.

Best wishes to you and your family as you navigate a new life for yourselves over there. Moving cross-country was a bit of a challenge and culture shock for me. And I've lived out of the country once for only about a year so it's not the same as it will be for you. I hope you'll continue posting on here once you move, I've really enjoyed reading your point of view on the Duggars.

[amitville]

Hope is well with Our Maisie ,Wanderwomen & Hubby  I so miss our updates.

[Jellybeans]

Hope is well with Our Maisie ,Wanderwomen & Hubby  I so miss our updates.

I was going to post something of this nature but you beat me to it. I miss the updates too.

[amitville]

I was going to post something of this nature but you beat me to it. I miss the updates too.

I so miss hearing about Maisie and everyone responses about our Maisie to sheet counts to everyone pets.

Edited March 25, 2015 by amitville

[Jellybeans]

I have a demanding daschie!

[amitville]

I have a demanding daschie!

Jellybans is she a princess or a prince

[Jellybeans]

Jellybans is she a princess or a prince

She's a Queen.

[amitville]

She's a Queen.

Oh my goodness a queen she must make life very enjoyable. I always say pets makes a house a home  

[msblossom]

Hope is well with Our Maisie ,Wanderwomen & Hubby  I so miss our updates.

I'm a little worried that she's so exhausted and too tired/stressed to post, what with the new development in changing hospitals. I'm sure she's busy advocating for Maisie's therapy and trying to find a way to get her more. I can imagine phone calls to the insurance company must be exasperating.

[Mrsjumbo]

I have a tabby cat, rescued from the Duggar's!

[msblossom]

I have a tabby cat, rescued from the Duggar's!

What color is she/he?

[xtwheeler]

I'm just adding my voice to the chorus of "wishing constantly for the best" for Maisie and family. I hope no news is good news.

[Jellybeans]

Oh my goodness a queen she must make life very enjoyable. I always say pets makes a house a home  

actually it means she is BOSS. wakes me up early. sometimes as early as 4:00 A.M.. she wants her treats and i want to sleep. I am at her mercy.

but i love her. lol.

[Mrsjumbo]

What color is she/he?

He is an orange tabby. Probably the baby of the cat they tried to mow down with the sled.

[Wellfleet]

He is an orange tabby. Probably the baby of the cat they tried to mow down with the sled.

 

My brother has the sweetest orange tabby, a male rescue kitty, who is SUCH a cuddle-buddy. Huge paws - and he LOVES it when I come over because I will brush him as long as he will sit still. He's my boyfriend... :>)

[GEML]

Well, my parents had an orange tabby and it was psychotic. As in, you'd just be sitting there and it would leap out of the darkness and attack your face psychotic.

And it lived FOREVER.

So I'll admit orange tabbies aren't my favorite of the feline breed.

[Mrsjumbo]

Awwww...:)

Edited to say my Awwww was for Wellfleet!

Edited March 26, 2015 by Mrsjumbo

[GEML]

I'm a sucker for tuxedo cats. The ones that look like they should be attending the Oscars.

[Almost 3000]

I like apple faced Siamese. Low allergy so I can live with them unmediated. 

[Mrsjumbo]

Although I love this guy, my next cat will be a British Shorthair. I just loved a little guy named Clive on the show "Too Cute!".

This one was given to the shelter so young (4 weeks!) that he follows me around all day. And sleeps with me at night. I think he thinks I'm Mom Cat. He turns 2 in June.

[Wellfleet]

Well, my parents had an orange tabby and it was psychotic. As in, you'd just be sitting there and it would leap out of the darkness and attack your face psychotic.

And it lived FOREVER.

So I'll admit orange tabbies aren't my favorite of the feline breed.

 

Too bad the Animal Planet program "My Cat from Hell" wasn't around at the time. The behaviorist on that show definitely runs into psychotic or otherwise brain-damaged felines from time to time. In some cases, in addition to behavior therapy and environmental changes, the cat will even get a prescription from his vet. Makes a world of difference for the terrorized family.

I'm a sucker for tuxedo cats. The ones that look like they should be attending the Oscars.

 

Oh, I love the tuxedos too! Love those big round green eyes they usually seem to have...

Although I love this guy, my next cat will be a British Shorthair. I just loved a little guy named Clive on the show "Too Cute!".

This one was given to the shelter so young (4 weeks!) that he follows me around all day. And sleeps with me at night. I think he thinks I'm Mom Cat. He turns 2 in June.

 

OMG, those British shorthairs are totally adorable too. To me, they're the Welsh corgis of the cat world. Such perky, alert little faces! That's what Robert Louis Stevenson used as a model for the "the Cheshire Cat" in Alice in Wonderland.

Edited March 28, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Barb23]

One of my friends mother has dementia problems but is still able to live in her home with help from her children. As her mom has always been a cat person, my friend decided to leave her cat at her mom's house for her to look after. It started as a daily thing but has turned into a second home for the cat. Her mom loves the arrangement & the company.

[Wellfleet]

One of my friends mother has dementia problems but is still able to live in her home with help from her children. As her mom has always been a cat person, my friend decided to leave her cat at her mom's house for her to look after. It started as a daily thing but has turned into a second home for the cat. Her mom loves the arrangement & the company.

 

I'll bet it's really helpful for the mom to have something to look after. Nice to have "another heartbeat around the house" - as I once heard on the Frasier show.

[Micks Picks]

I lived in a very nice mobile home park, but there were a lot of stray cats.  I guess when someone died the heirs just dumped the cat or people from outside dumped them there figuring they'd get a home.  So I started trapping them and made a deal with another county's shelter that they would place them, and if unable to do so, I'd come get them.  And I made a nice donation every time I handed in a cat.  One was a Manx cat (no tail) declawed also.  It would not have survived long on its own.  I don't know exactly what the management did with them but it wasn't good.  I only had one very long term cat.  I had 4 dogs at the time and it came in and drank out of their water bowl and ate their food.  So after awhile I took it to get it fixed and shots.  It

 

was already spayed.  I thought it had beat up ears, but when the vet looked at it he

 

was really impressed.  It turned out to be a Scottish Fold.  It may have been 20 when it passed.  I don't remember exactly when it came, but It was adult and I had it for a good 18-19 yrs.  

 

MsBlossom the Duggars did an episode where they had kittens and took them to the pound.  I think it was more than 2 years though.  

Edited March 26, 2015 by Micks Picks

[Mrsjumbo]

Why aren't the Duggars responsible cat owners & get them spayed? Oh, what am I saying?!

We get cats & dogs dumped in our neighborhood too. The last cat that started hanging by our house, Mr Jumbo wanted to keep but our cat hated it. And unfortunately there is not a shelter in our city, & the neighboring cities wouldnt take it because to drop off an animal you have to be a resident of that city! Luckily I found someone with a farm, & he spoils her.

[amitville]

So nice to see so much chit chat going on. I hope this continues. 

[Barb23]

My brother, a bachelor in Florida, had a couple of stray cats wander in his yard years ago. He really took a liking to them. He didn't let them in his house but starting feeding them outside & they all quickly became good friends. I think the cats finally moved on (he laughed they probably found better food at another house) & he missed the companionship even if it just was when he was outside.

[jcbrown]

My husband and I adopted three three-week old littermate kittens: one grey tabby short hair, one black long-hair, and one brown tabby long-hair (she looks like a mini Maine Coon). We bottle-fed them every two hours for the first week or so they lived with us. Their 15th birthday is this Saturday and they follow me around the house, sleep with me, and compete for my lap. I had to put down my beautiful black kitty this week, though, so now it will only be the tabbies getting all the way to fifteen years old. It's been a rough week.

 

The talk of people with dementia and pets makes me think of my parents' kitties. They had two at the time my mom was in a hospital bed at home with Alzheimer's before we had to put her in a nursing home. I have always remembered the image of their orange part-Siamese kitty (who was somewhat psycho to people she did not adore as she did my mom and, later, my dad) curled up sleeping on my mom's shoulder as Mom lay in the hospital bed, just as Mom used to hold Tigger on her shoulder when she still could. I like to think it was a comfort to both of them.

[Jellybeans]

I remember a patient at a nursing home who had a private room. Her dog lived with her in her bed. She would call the nurse's aide when the dog needed to go out or get down to eat/drink. Oddly enough she would not let the other residents touch the dog.

[frenchtoast]

From the Other Kids topic:

My granddaughter is not an "early riser" but has to get up to go to school. (Even though my daughter in law is a teacher she won't home school). Granddaughter takes a shower at night and gets into clean clothes and sleeps in them and this cuts down on misery in the morning. Even with an early bedtime she doesn't really wake up til mid morning.

Growing up, my dad was a general contractor so always took a shower at night, so we did too. And since I played soccer in middle school, I really wanted to shower at night. And then it just became habit--I really like washing off the day and not having to take a shower in the morning. Sometimes I have to wet my hair to correct the bed head, but otherwise, it's a nice way to end the day.

[msblossom]

We have a Snowshoe cat, it's a breed that's 1/2 American Shorthair & 1/2 Siamese. She's full grown & only weighs 5 lbs she's an apple-face with blue eyes. My husband found her at the Library under a bush in the winter several years back when she was just a kitten.

Growing up we had a handful of cats over the years. We had one cat that was the neighborhood cat and my dad figured he didn't really belong to any one person; the cat kind of made the rounds and he would stay with us 2 or 3 nights a week and my dad named him Hobo. He was a big tri-color tabby that weighed probably 16 lbs. He was "our cat" for a couple years at least.

[Wellfleet]

From the Other Kids topic:

 

 

Growing up, my dad was a general contractor so always took a shower at night, so we did too. And since I played soccer in middle school, I really wanted to shower at night. And then it just became habit--I really like washing off the day and not having to take a shower in the morning. Sometimes I have to wet my hair to correct the bed head, but otherwise, it's a nice way to end the day.

 

I'm an evening shower person too. Have been since college. I love getting into jammies and then sheets feeling all clean and soothed. Especially nice in the Summer, with a fan going. Sometimes I take a very quick 5-minute freshening shower in the morning on hot days, or if my hair looks really weird. I can't imagine going to bed without a shower first now - love it.

Edited March 27, 2015 by Wellfleet

[ramble]

Reading about all these cats makes my eyes actually itch a little. Even if I could have a cat I don't know if I'd want to. Being as allergic as I am I've always thought of them as dangerous misery inducing demons. I'm a dog person, but only certain dogs. Maybe I'm more of a picky person when it comes right down to it. Honestly I think I'm just petted-out. I'm ready for a break from the care, cleaning & expense for a couple of years. (And wow that sounds grumpy!)

My kids, who are teens, still take showers at night. They prefer the extra sleep time in the morning. Also, my curly girl never blowdries her hair & going to school with completely wet hair wouldn't work. They don't sleep in their clothes, but they seem to roll into them in about 5 minutes time so they're speedy in the area.

[jcbrown]

 

Being as allergic as I am I've always thought of them as dangerous misery inducing demons.

I am very allergic to both cats and dogs (and every form of green growing thing outside), to the point of having allergic asthma. When I started working with my allergist I told him, "I will be a compliant patient in all regards except for this: my cats are going to sleep with me and you need to figure out how to make that work." I've been getting four allergy shots at a time for years now and it is totally worth it to me.

[Mrsjumbo]

My ds2 is highly allergic to everything (not food except tree nuts thank God). He went through 5 yrs of allergy shots & as soon as he was done the kids were pestering me for a cat. So he & the cat are happily coexisting here. The seasonal

allergies seem to bother him more than anything.

I have no problem with people sleeping in their clothes, as long as they are comfy. I can't see sleeping in jeans or a denim skirt & polo shirt. Sweatpants & tee shirt, yes.

[Jamiesmum]

My father was in a nursing for the last few years of his life due to partial quadriplegia. A kitten turned up (can't remember how) and the home got permission to keep it as a companion animal with strict rules regarding feeding, cleaning, bedding etc. Dad was off hand about it and would be a bit grumpy if anyone mentioned it, but he always kept an eye on it and smiled and even laughed at its antics with other residents. Such a small thing, and it gave such happiness.

[amitville]

My father was in a nursing for the last few years of his life due to partial quadriplegia. A kitten turned up (can't remember how) and the home got permission to keep it as a companion animal with strict rules regarding feeding, cleaning, bedding etc. Dad was off hand about it and would be a bit grumpy if anyone mentioned it, but he always kept an eye on it and smiled and even laughed at its antics with other residents. Such a small thing, and it gave such happiness.

I love this. It has put a smile on face. 

[Barb23]

A few years ago, I spent a few weeks in the physical therapy section of a nursing home due to a broken leg & my arthritis. The nursing home had a certified therapy dog, Sam, whose owner was the recreation director & Sam proudly wore a vest saying he was certified . The therapist was telling me he was the only surviving one of his litter. His mother killed the rest & Sam needed surgery for a bite injury. One of the therapists also brought in her little poodle a few days of week. The residents loved them even keeping treats in their room & Sam remembered who had them. You could definitely see the faces light up (mine too) when they were around.

[Mrsjumbo]

My husband and I adopted three three-week old littermate kittens: one grey tabby short hair, one black long-hair, and one brown tabby long-hair (she looks like a mini Maine Coon). We bottle-fed them every two hours for the first week or so they lived with us. Their 15th birthday is this Saturday and they follow me around the house, sleep with me, and compete for my lap. I had to put down my beautiful black kitty this week, though, so now it will only be the tabbies getting all the way to fifteen years old. It's been a rough week.

The talk of people with dementia and pets makes me think of my parents' kitties. They had two at the time my mom was in a hospital bed at home with Alzheimer's before we had to put her in a nursing home. I have always remembered the image of their orange part-Siamese kitty (who was somewhat psycho to people she did not adore as she did my mom and, later, my dad) curled up sleeping on my mom's shoulder as Mom lay in the hospital bed, just as Mom used to hold Tigger on her shoulder when she still could. I like to think it was a comfort to both of them.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't even want to think of our tabby reaching the end of his life (he's only a baby now). They become family members so quickly!

[Barb23]

Would anyone else like to share how their church / place of worship celebrates Easter or Passover?

We have a Cross Walk in our town on Good Friday. It starts at one church with a mini sermon or message, then continues to four other churches. A big wooden cross is carried by different people mainly the youth. At the end, the cross is raised in a field near the last church. Luckily the churches are somewhat near one another & the ones that aren't are still represented in some form. People that aren't able to walk follow behind in their cars. It has been going on for 20+ years & has become an important part of the religious community in our town.

[Micks Picks]

I'm in a city.  We run, weaving, from car to church to avoid bullets and our eyes dart everywhere looking for knives.

[kalamac]

As someone who is not religious, but gets the public holidays off work, I plan on sleeping in every day. I'll probably eat some chocolate, and maybe marathon Rookie Blue. You all are welcome to remotely join me, by doing this in your own homes.

[questionfear]

Passover is typically a holiday celebrated at home with family. There's no formal synagogue service for it.

In my family we do one very traditional Seder, mostly for the benefit of my grandmother, and the second night is more relaxed and fun, with lots of teasing and laughing and drinking. It's a good time.

[leighroda]

I currently live in a zoo, I live with my sister, she had 2 dogs, and I have 2 cats. Our town home is 3 stories so everyone coexisted well. When my mom passed away our little brother came to live with us (he's autistic, so we didn't want to leave him to fend for himself) and my moms 2 dogs (so the count is now 4 dogs and 2 cats) and the dogs don't get along, so we have to keep them separated with baby gates. Unfortunately we are likely going to have to adopt my moms dogs out, but we are trying to give our brother time to adjust (we moved him from texas to florida).

[Mrsjumbo]

That is lovely that you are taking care of your brother. My youngest has autism. Of course our goal is that he lives independently, but if that is not possible I hope his brothers are as kind when we pass on.

[leighroda]

That is lovely that you are taking care of your brother. My youngest has autism. Of course our goal is that he lives independently, but if that is not possible I hope his brothers are as kind when we pass on.

Thanks. Thankfully, my brother is high functioning and with assistance will be able to live independently, he just never had to, but we didn't think living so far away would be a good time to test it. Once I'm done with school, most likely I'll move back to Texas and at that point we'll let him choose where he would rather live...and decide if he'll live with one of us or by himself.

[Wellfleet]

Quote from abseedee on 30 Mar 2015 6:41 PM: Noxzema is excellent for sunburn pain also!  It doesn't take away the redness but it soothes the skin.

 

Noxzema is great for sunburn pain, especially if you keep it refrigerated in the Summer. But pure aloe vera gel will not only kill the pain but I think it eliminates or at least greatly reduces any permanent skin damage, because I've never even peeled after using it. The first time I noticed this was after spending an entire day outside at the New York State Fair when I was in college. Got a bad burn on the back of my neck,  the one spot I hadn't thought of applying sunblock - we're talking lobster skin. I was still living at home so my Mom applied a generous dollop of aloe vera gel from a tube she always kept in the fridge. The pain was instantly gone, so instantly that I could tell where she still needed to put some gel - that's where it still hurt and felt warm. The next day the redness had noticeably faded and it didn't hurt at all to have warm or even hot water on the skin. Never peeled, not one flake. Aloe vera gel has been a staple in my home ever since. 

Edited March 31, 2015 by Wellfleet