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S03.E03: Grand Opening and Closure

OnceSane

By OnceSane
in Vanderpump Rules

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Teddybear
Teddybear

Stassi dying laughing after hearing that Jax had a nose job really pisses me off.  You had a chin implant, you judgmental bitch! 

FozzyBear
FozzyBear

I floved the way she tried to spin having no ambition whatsoever other than marrying well to be some sort of spiritual quest that the souless yuppies of NYC just can't understand. They need to be busy

The Mighty Peanut
The Mighty Peanut

I still don't think Kristen is particularly crazier or more promiscuous than any of these people (not that the argument is being held here, just offering an observation from the flat iron in my soul).

Jennifersdc

Jennifersdc

I'd make a comment on her nose job, but I'm not the type to do that.

Sure you are. If not enjoy - it's so much fun. But since you're posting on the VP Rules board I'm also thinking there's a fairly high likelihood you're kidding. If not who cares? Certainly not me. We're not as vociferous as usual - but still the best board (and show by association) ever.

Who's coming up with the new drinking game?

Ubiquitous

Ubiquitous

(edited)

OK I'll admit that I've never worked in the restaurant/bar industry before, but is it really that had to find staff that can get through a shift sober? I love to get my drink on, but the only time I've had a drink at work was a glass of champagne during a Christmas lunch when I had to go back to the office after. Is it a bar thing or an alcoholic narcissist thing?

I was a busboy (but NOT a DJ!) in high school and did the same during spring and Xmas break during college (didn't DJ either!), but I don't think it ever occurred to anyone to do that but I imagine they'd be fired on the spot if they did.

 

Sorry to be posting again so soon but I had to ask if anyone else thought Stassi's conversation with her dad was odd? My dad is the farthest thing from a strict father and he's even more liberal minded than myself! Still, as his youngest daughter, I cannot imagine speaking to him like he were one of my close girlfriends. It was just odd to hear her gossiping with daddy. Anyway...

I guess we know where Stassi got her shitty attitude now. This was the first time he appeared on this show, isn't it?

Edited by Ubiquitous
Ubiquitous

Ubiquitous

So I'm not a regular viewer. Are Stassi and Sheena still fighting about Stassi not visiting after Sheena went to the oral surgeon? Something else? Bravolebrities have a real thing about being visited when sick.

That's so yesterday! Schemer injured her foot last week and has a new "who visited me?" check-off list ready! ;-)

  • Love 2
turbogirlnyc

turbogirlnyc

I was a busboy (but NOT a DJ!) in high school and did the same during spring or Xmas break during college (didn't DJ either!) but I don't think it ever occurred to anyone to do that but I imagine they'd be fired on the spot if they did.

 

I guess we know where Stassi got her shitty attitude now. This was the first time he appeared on this show, isn't it?

 

I recall seeing him when Stassi and another cast member (can't remember who) went to stay with her parents for a few days. It was last season or a flashback shown last season.

fliptopbox

fliptopbox

There have been multiple times where Schroederbucks pulled out nipper bottles of booze in public places. Stassi does the same thing, there was a scene last season when she was out to lunch with Kristen, TKatie, and Kristina and she broke out the mini wines. Her theory was if the restaurant didn't serve booze she'd sneak her own. Classy!

 

Like I said before, why are Stassi's parents portrayed as so interesting and important? All they really do is gossip and drink, like they're an extension of her girlfriends. I'd love to see Jax's family for sure. Or Kristen's. I want to see the people who are at least partially responsible for how screwed up these folks are.

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ScoobieDoobs

ScoobieDoobs

(edited)
This was the first time he appeared on this show, isn't it?

 

 

No.  There was a long meeting when both her parents met at some restaurant, with her & Frank, just after Frank got fired by Lisa.  Yeah, they weren't thrilled that Stass was with yet another loser, but then they all just drank away.  There's a new study out which says just cuz someone is an excessive drinker, it doesn't mean they are an alcoholic.  So maybe Stass's father isn't a drunk, but he sure is a boozehound -- and looks every bit of it.

 

Before that, Stass's father met with Jax & he was not thrilled with him.  Well, what father would be thrilled with his daughter dating (er, financially supporting) this worthless piece of shit?  Stass's father has turned up many times.  I almost expect to see him pop up in the beginning credits.

 

Speaking of the beginning credits, it makes me think this was Schwartz's motivation to beg & plead with Lisa for that crap bar job at Pump, which he isn't at all qualified for & obviously has absolutely no motivation to work at.  Sheesh, his lack of motivation to work is pretty awful.  

 

You know, it always made me scratch my head how a whiny, charmless, nothing-looking chick like Tequila Katie got herself a model gorgeous stunner like Schwartz.  Does he make all that much as a "print model"?  Well, dat's how he describes himself anyway.  Or is Tequila Katie financially supporting him -- as I suspect?

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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jennylauren123

jennylauren123

And, speaking of Jax in therapy, it kills me to see him sitting there acting like a high-school kid, saying things like, "I broke her heart," and "I don't know why I do that" (about the dumb tattoos).

 

He's such a tool. And he's not a young tool, either. I think most of us have pegged him at around 35. Time to stop acting like a confused young man, Jax. What a dumb cluck.

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turbogirlnyc

turbogirlnyc

And, speaking of Jax in therapy, it kills me to see him sitting there acting like a high-school kid, saying things like, "I broke her heart," and "I don't know why I do that" (about the dumb tattoos).

 

He's such a tool. And he's not a young tool, either. I think most of us have pegged him at around 35. Time to stop acting like a confused young man, Jax. What a dumb cluck.

 

Carmen said he was 35 when they taped this season. From what some of the cast have said on WWHL (including Lisa), it's been some time now since taping.

  • Love 1
jaync

jaync

Kristen's just a red hot damn mess, forever and ever.

 

Max looks like he's trying to channel a cross between Jax Teller and General Custer.

 

He [schwartz] always looks dirty to me, like he's never met a bottle of shampoo.

You could lube a car with his head. It probably didn't even take any extra product to get his hair molded like Gumby for the opening credits.

 

On WWHL, Scheana, Kristen, and Lisa all insinuated that Jax's sinus problems are due to the nose candy. Can't wait to see if Andy addresses that with Jax at some point.

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Persnickety1

Persnickety1

(edited)

No.  There was a long meeting when both her parents met at some restaurant, with her & Frank, just after Frank got fired by Lisa.  Yeah, they weren't thrilled that Stass was with yet another loser, but then they all just drank away.  There's a new study out which says just cuz someone is an excessive drinker, it doesn't mean they are an alcoholic.  So maybe Stass's father isn't a drunk, but he sure is a boozehound -- and looks every bit of it.

 

Before that, Stass's father met with Jax & he was not thrilled with him.  Well, what father would be thrilled with his daughter dating (er, financially supporting) this worthless piece of shit?  Stass's father has turned up many times.  I almost expect to see him pop up in the beginning credits.

 

Speaking of the beginning credits, it makes me think this was Schwartz's motivation to beg & plead with Lisa for that crap bar job at Pump, which he isn't at all qualified for & obviously has absolutely no motivation to work at.  Sheesh, his lack of motivation to work is pretty awful.  

 

You know, it always made me scratch my head how a whiny, charmless, nothing-looking chick like Tequila Katie got herself a model gorgeous stunner like Schwartz.  Does he make all that much as a "print model"?  Well, dat's how he describes himself anyway.  Or is Tequila Katie financially supporting him -- as I suspect?

 

Oy, Schwartz being allowed so much airtime this season has totally ruined my illusion (delusion, apparently) that he might have been a little sharper and more astute that most of his cast mates.

 

He might be somewhat cute but ye gads, he's as vapid as the rest of them.

 

And did I hear him right, he hasn't really worked in 4 years?  Now he may pop up in occasional print ads for local retailers and he may have appeared in some D-list "celebrity" video, but, yeah, Scoobs, I'm totally getting the impression that Tequila Kate is supporting him and has been for a few years now.

 

So we have Tequila Kate paying Schwartz's apparently aimless way through life, Cigarette Sally paying for FI Tom's insurance and who knows what else, and Stassi was apparently supporting Jax.

 

Is it just me, or is Peter the only dude on this show who appears to have more than a mid double digit IQ and is self-sufficient?  

 

Well, other than Shay, but I call his intellect into question simply because he married that idiot Scheana.  

Edited by Persnickety1
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elizacat

elizacat

Heh. Speaking of whom, does DJ Muppet's accent sound more Australian than Brit to anyone else?

 

I thought her family was relatively wealthy, which is how they were able indulge her so she didn't have to work all these years.

 

Fer sure! You could tell Lisa Vanderbucks was thinking about that scenario when she bumped into him.

Nope take it from an Aussie living in the UK the accents definitely British.

Jennifersdc

Jennifersdc

Oy, Schwartz being allowed so much airtime this season has totally ruined my illusion (delusion, apparently) that he might have been a little sharper and more astute that most of his cast mates.

 

He might be somewhat cute but ye gads, he's as vapid as the rest of them.

 

And did I hear him right, he hasn't really worked in 4 years?  Now he may pop up in occasional print ads for local retailers and he may have appeared in some D-list "celebrity" video, but, yeah, Scoobs, I'm totally getting the impression that Tequila Kate is supporting him and has been for a few years now.

 

So we have Tequila Kate paying Schwartz's apparently aimless way through life, Cigarette Sally paying for FI Tom's insurance and who knows what else, and Stassi was apparently supporting Jax.

 

Is it just me, or is Peter the only dude on this show who appears to have more than a mid double digit IQ and is self-sufficient?  

 

Well, other than Shay, but I call his intellect into question simply because he married that idiot Scheana.

Hopefully vapid enough to take Stassi's place. I think we should count how many times she's wearing pearls. Maybe that could be our new drinking game.

We've done "bang" or any derivation thereof already. That's about the last time DrogosHorse from TWoP was around. He/she may still be unconscious.

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Persnickety1

Persnickety1

So who's thinking that Lisa will definitely hire back Busboy next week, seeing as he brought the all-important drama?

 

I'm thinking she's going to rehire him just so she can continue stirring her cauldron o'shit with these tools.

 

Lucky Peter.  How awkward would it be to have the confrontation(s) he had with James (on Ken's instruction, no less), and then have these assclowns turn around and hire him back so you know have to work with him again?

 

My money's on Lisa rehiring him because (a) he brought the drama; (b) apparently he's buddies with Max, who instructed him to write a letter of apology to impress Lisa, and © because he kissed her ass and groveled.  

ScoobieDoobs

ScoobieDoobs

(edited)
So we have Tequila Kate paying Schwartz's apparently aimless way through life, Cigarette Sally paying for FI Tom's insurance and who knows what else, and Stassi was apparently supporting Jax.

 

 

What the hell is with these idiot chicks supporting worthless losers?  Is this a trend I'm not aware of?  Well, but now ghost Patrick seems to be supporting Stassi's lazy ass.

 

He might be somewhat cute but ye gads, he's as vapid as the rest of them.

 

 

Yeah, the more we see of Schwartz the less I care for him.  His attitude toward work is extremely unappealing.  Every time we see him hangin' with either FI or Jax, he only gives them puppy dog I'm-in-luv-with-you or oh-I-got-a-crush-on-you looks.  He seems to look up to both of them as his absolute role models.  Wtf is wrong with him anyway?  Well, he is with Tequila Katie, so dat's the hint right there -- something is really off bout him.

 

Carmen said he was 35 when they taped this season. From what some of the cast have said on WWHL (including Lisa), it's been some time now since taping.

 

 

Jax is pushing 40.  He ain't a young guy.  Even next to Schwartz, who isn't all that young either, Jax looks way older.  He looks like he could be Muppet's daddy.  Nobody is buying his aimless young guy routine, producers.  If the producers & Jax insist on shoving this bullshit at us they need to recast to someone 15 years younger.

 

He's such a tool.

 

 

Jax is much worse than just a tool.  He's really a total dickhead.  Carmen said he had just told her he wanted her to have his babies.  And he's breaking up with her a day later.  She clearly hadn't taken him seriously, but her point was -- what kind of shithead is he -- that he would say that to her & then break up with her a day later?  For absolutely nothing she did.  Sure, we can look on & laugh at him, but he really is bad news.

 

So who's thinking that Lisa will definitely hire back Busboy next week, seeing as he brought the all-important drama?

 

 

Oh yeah, she'll hire Muppet back.  Ah, but then again she inexplicably continues to employ Kristen -- so sure, why not hire Muppet again?  Even tho Peter outed him that he's robbing her blind, stealing not just glasses of Sangria, but pitchers.  Btw, anyone think Ariana actually paid for her drink that she was sipping so intently in the alley while Peter confronted Muppet?  

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
  • Love 1
Forrealforreal

Forrealforreal

Ariana is seriously buggin this season with her overly defensive blogs and self importance. If it's clear that she is in a healthy, beautiful, and "perfect" relationship, there's no reason to defend herself and Tom's relationship. She is choosing to project and blame the speculation of strangers(albeit smart awesome ones) on Kristen alone. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but if they're gonna be holier and thou, I'd appreciate it served with more wit and less condensation. And calling another female basic does not make you more edgy or interesting.

 

And on a more positive note..thank goodness this train wreck is back. The snark is everything. 

  • Love 1
Ubiquitous

Ubiquitous

Like I said before, why are Stassi's parents portrayed as so interesting and important? All they really do is gossip and drink, like they're an extension of her girlfriends. I'd love to see Jax's family for sure. Or Kristen's. I want to see the people who are at least partially responsible for how screwed up these folks are.

Oh gawd, I can only IMAGINE what Flat-Iron Tom's parental units are like!

 

What we need more of is Stassi's younger brother. That boy was sassy-molassy!

He was that five year old who was smarter about succedding in life than Jax, right?

 

So who's thinking that Lisa will definitely hire back Busboy next week, seeing as he brought the all-important drama?

 

I'm thinking she's going to rehire him just so she can continue stirring her cauldron o'shit with these tools.

 

Lucky Peter.  How awkward would it be to have the confrontation(s) he had with James (on Ken's instruction, no less), and then have these assclowns turn around and hire him back so you know have to work with him again?

 

My money's on Lisa rehiring him because (a) he brought the drama; (b) apparently he's buddies with Max, who instructed him to write a letter of apology to impress Lisa, and © because he kissed her ass and groveled.  

Then there's d) Lisa Vanderbucks is the worst busniesswoman ever.

 

I should have known DJ Muppet wouldn't remain fired if she rehired Jax and hasn't fired Kristen.

Portae

Portae

I haven't liked Schwartz ever since I saw him gleefully pour drinks on Katie and Stassi on two different occasions. It came off to me as a way of being violent without technically hitting a woman. I've been side-eyeing him ever since.

 

Arianna has bugged me since last season. She basically has had an emotionally intimate relationship with Tom all during his relationship with Kristen, cheated with him while he was with Kristen, but has the nerve to tell everyone that Kristen was the one who was imagining things. And I'm certainly not feeling her "too cool for school" thing that she's working mighty hard to give off.

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Shelby

Shelby

I've never been able to stand Ariana. Her smug, know-it-all nature irritates me.

She always seems like she's acting. This was confirmed on WWHL, when she was unbearable to watch/listen to.

I do love that black top with the two big slits in the back that she has worn three times now. I wish I knew where to get it.

I'd rather have Tom with Kristen. Kristen is awful in an enjoyable way, Ariana is just awful period.

  • Love 2
ScoobieDoobs

ScoobieDoobs

(edited)

I'd rather have Tom with Kristen. Kristen is awful in an enjoyable way, Ariana is just awful period.

You said it. At least we can enjoy Kristen's Fatal Attraction creepiness & her general whacked out aura. But there's nothing to enjoy bout Ariana's smugness. Sorry, but her & FI are laying it on way too much. The way she was stroking him when they were on WWHL? Er, wasn't buyin' it, Ari, hun. NOT. AT. ALL.

And what about when FI & Schwartz were working out together & FI was making those claims bout him & Ari having sex so much & they just had sex that morning? Shit, was that scene weird as fuck or what? First Schwartz sets it up by saying how FI & Ari are going at it like rabbits & then FI confirms it, but he's such a fuckin' piss poor actor it looks like he really doesn't mean any of it & he's actually winking at us to let us know this is all total bullshit & he's really gay & he just wants to blow Schwartz or go on Grindr to find his next hookup.

Sheesh, I'm still stunned by Schwartz struggling to bench press what I was able to easily do at 12. I mean really Schwartz, wtf are ya good for, except to stand around & look pretty (OK, dirty as fuck, but still pretty), or give Jax & FI those I'm-totally-in-luv-with-you looks, or throw drinks at Tequila Katie?

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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Shelby

Shelby

The only good thing about loathing Arianna is that when her fake relationship with FI falls apart, it may be entertaining. But of course, not Kristen & FI breakup entertaining.

Arianna is also not that pretty. I think most 30 year old server guys would greatly prefer a girl with Kristen's looks and figure, even if she smells like old coffee and cigarettes.

I was watching the first few episodes of VR, Season 1, just to remeber how this disaster of a show all started, and FI had more hair on top just a couple of years ago.

  • Love 1
ScoobieDoobs

ScoobieDoobs

Well, I think FI is in for a rude awakening. Girlies with curly hair know this. Flat irons, if used too much, can & will break off your hair in clumps. Will we be seeing a baldie FI any time soon? Or a comb-over on FI? Or an FI with a zillion changing wigs -- er, kinda like Ben Affleck? Dat might be fun to watch.

I really hope Ariana doesn't stick around too long. She's tiresome. And I'm sick of their fake bullshit relationship. Well, what would be more fun for us? A new . . . er, "girlfriend" for FI -- or getting back with Kristen? I say he should get back Cigarette Sally.

katbirdy

katbirdy

(edited)

Ok I'll admit that I've never worked in the restaurant/bar industry before, but is it really that had to find staff that can get through a shift sober? I love to get my drink on, but the only time I've had a drink at work was a glass of champagne during a Christmas lunch when I had to go back to the office after. Is it a bar thing or an alcoholic narcissist thing?

Well, I used to work in restaurants and bars since I was age  15 until like 27 (no bars until I was legal, promise), but they weren't fancy. But they WERE in LA and everyone for sure  did want to be a Mactor ( excluding me and a few other college kids).  Hence my love for this show. The dramas  and shenanigans definitely happen.Hilarious  memories.  And YES many ( most) did   drink and do drugs on shift. (I mean it is an easy yet stressful and demanding/ demeaning  job, a little pep might be needed). . We just didn't advertize it like these idiots.  Hurray, this show is comedy gold. 

Edited by katbirdy
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ElderPrice

ElderPrice

FI Tom trying to convince everyone that he has constant hot sex with Arianna reminds me of Sheldon Cooper trying to convince Amy's mother that he has sex with Amy in an attempt to convince her mother that Amy indeed has a real boyfriend. Yeah. We ain't buying it.

 

.                 http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7r5qlsmmv1qj74sxo2_250.gif

Shelby

Shelby

(edited)

Well, I think FI is in for a rude awakening. Girlies with curly hair know this. Flat irons, if used too much, can & will break off your hair in clumps. Will we be seeing a baldie FI any time soon? Or a comb-over on FI? Or an FI with a zillion changing wigs -- er, kinda like Ben Affleck? Dat might be fun to watch.

I really hope Ariana doesn't stick around too long. She's tiresome. And I'm sick of their fake bullshit relationship. Well, what would be more fun for us? A new . . . er, "girlfriend" for FI -- or getting back with Kristen? I say he should get back Cigarette Sally.

Yes! Back with Cigarette Sally! The horror and dismay of all of the VR gang would alone be worth it.

If they got back together soon enough, FI can continue his tradition of spending Valentine's Day sleeping alone on the couch.

Should I watch past seasons?

Yes! Start from Season 1. Get some popcorn, some libations, and a snuggly blanket. Spend a day watching the episodes back to back, and then come and join us on the BEST, snarkiest, threads out of all the TV shows on this forum.

I'm jealous. I wish there was a whole season of this stupid show that I had never seen that I could marathon watch.

Edited by Shelby
  • Love 3
ScoobieDoobs

ScoobieDoobs

It's very confusing,  Is it a restaurant too?  The reviews are from all straight people.  Not saying there shouldn't be straight people goin' to a gay place, but I'm wondering if this place is really attracting a gay crowd.  Hmmm, just what is the so-called "crowd" there?  Just cuz it's in West Hollywood doesn't mean shit.  Ugh, is Lisa pulling some bullshit fake-out?

Maharincess

Maharincess

My post was harsh and I honestly did not mean it the way it sounded. I was wrong and I am sorry. I keep telling myself to wait one second, review what I typed and then click to post.

Like Persnickity1, I too appreciate that gif. Thank you!

I love that we're allowed to be the adults that we are here and can solve our differences ourselves without some a**hole coming in and scolding us like were 2 year olds.

I love this site.

  • Love 2
charmed1

charmed1

Sorry to be posting again so soon but I had to ask if anyone else thought Stassi's conversation with her dad was odd? My dad is the farthest thing from a strict father and he's even more liberal minded than myself! Still, as his youngest daughter, I cannot imagine speaking to him like he were one of my close girlfriends. It was just odd to hear her gossiping with daddy. Anyway...

This is probably the only thing that Stassi and I have in common. About once a month, my dad and I have a half hour long gossip fest only because my dad is the gossiping slut of the family. And before I'm flamed for "slut-shaming," my father is not ashamed of being a slut or a gossip. He'd be the best server at Sur.

I'm picturing his old man belly peeking out of the bottom of his mandatory tight smedium t-shirt and his white chest hair exploding out of the vneck. He'd love to wear the mactor douche bag knit winter skully. No more time spent on his comb over. Now he'd probably say some incredibly offensive things to the mactors, which may lead to a few online petitions, but he would absolutely love doing his scenes dishing the dirt with the Sur chicks. They'd be quick scenes and he probably would need his reading glasses to finish them, and any scene that involves him reading anything on his phone, would likely feature him squinting and holding the phone a foot away from his face. But he'd be a great shit stirrer with the girls at one of Scheana's parties. He wouldn't get any of their names right, but he'd get the job done. I can just imagine him walking in and delivering the news, "Regina, that bony assed girl, Stacy said she don't like you, so you're looking like the asshole right now. And that other one, what's her name, Krissy? Krissy is crazier than a mothafucker." Then he'll look straight into the camera like, "Am I done, when you sending me my check?"

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Sun-Bun

Sun-Bun

(edited)

Once again, I'm so befuddled by what any of these wastoids plan to do with their lives/careers that I can barely focus on the actual plot of this show.

Seriously though, what's the endgame for all these pathetic chumps??

They're all so desperate to work for Lisa and retain their pretty little scenarios and stations in life, but what do any of them actually want to do with themselves professionally after this show has run it's course and they're too old/tragic to be working the pretty people LA bar scene???

Most of them are either in their late 20's or in their 30's, so it's just sad to see them all still desperately clinging to this lifestyle.

Even Stassi, who acts like she is so "above" these kids now is still just farting what's left of her youth away like she's some society matron and not some rich douche's latest kept woman.

Peter appears to be the only person in this younger cast with an ounce of professionalism and work ethic. The rest of them just seem so lost in their delusions of becoming long-term successful models/actors/musicians---I think that ship has sadly sailed for all of them, especially the ones who are already past age 30.

It's oddly entertaining to watch this batch of delusional losers wallow in their own brand of filth, but there's still such an air of sadness and wasted youth/opportunities surrounding every addictive episode of this trash.

I think all the crappy apartments featured really enhance the sadness---at least with "Laguna Beach"/"The Hills/"The City" those kids were all rich and had the plush homes/condos & wardrobes/cars to prove it.

Edited by Sun-Bun
  • Love 2

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