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S16.E03: John Cleese, Taylor Swift, Kevin Pietersen, Neil Diamond


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Tonight, Graham is joined by a British comedy institution, two American singing stars and a controversial cricketer - ensuring there'll be plenty to chat about as they squeeze up on the sofa. Top of the bill is funnyman John Cleese, talking about his memoir So, Anyway - although when there's a Python in the line-up, the conversation could go off in any direction. Joining him are actress and singer Taylor Swift, who has become hot property on the country pop scene, and former England batsman Kevin Pietersen, who has written about his life in KP: The Autobiography. Providing the music is veteran singer-songwriter Neil Diamond, with a taste of his new album, Melody Road.

 

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Do you think someone might upload a video that mutes out every time Taylor opens her mouth?   I just can't deal with that (and I expect Graham is silently rolling his eyes, although he will be the consummate professional outwardly).   I'd hate to have to skip an entire episode.

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Also awkward: Taylor telling John Cleese she knows him, because he was Q (no indication she had a clue he had a career before that, except for him being in a few Harry Potter movies).

 

I won't say she came off as vacuous, but she certainly comes off as a 24 year old.

 

But damn is she flawless looking.  

 

john-cleese-and-taylor-swift.jpg?w=1000&

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I'm not familiar with her or her music (except for seeing her name all over the place) but I thought she was fine. Even fun at times. With the cricket/rugby mix-up she seemed to make fun of her self. "And that was rugby..."

You're never gonna get a great guest out of a young american pop star so in that respect, she was totally fine.

John Cleese stories about his mother were hilarious, other than that, subpar episode. Have no interest in Neil Diamond and didn't know who the third guest was and he wasn't very interesting.

Edited by joelene
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Heh, there are always parts of the public who hyper-focus and can avoid certain celebs entirely, so don't make too much of not knowing her Joelene.  That said, she's apparently got one of the highest Q-scores on record (that thing they run to calculate public recognition and popularity).

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Wow, really? That makes me sad, but not surprised, but maybe she's amazingly talented and I'm missing something HUGE. I've understood that she's super famous but I've managed to avoid reading anything (of note) about her or listen to any of her songs (at least consciously). And I'm a 30 y/o gay man, which I assume puts me within a group who makes up for at least part of her audience. Somehow I always thought her music would be more country pop oriented (but I was never curious enough to find out). But that little snippet they played sounded horrible and I hope I don't have to endure it again.

Edited by joelene
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I hope I don't have to endure it again

 

 

Then don't ever walk into a mall.... or a coffee shop... or any business with a stereo... or turn on your car radio, on any station.

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Heh, I'll try to avoid it! I don't know how popular she is in Sweden. Hopefully not very.

This says the song she's currently promoting is #4 on Sweden's iTunes chart: http://www.hotmusiccharts.com/se/itunes

 

Her album is much lower, at #10: http://www.hotmusiccharts.com/se/itunes/albums

 

Comparatively though, her song is currently #3 in the UK and her album #9, so Sweden is not that far off the UK in this.  She's #1 in the US though (for the song) and #2 for the album.

 

It might be a bit harder to find out what her previous songs and albums did in Sweden.  I suspect at the very least though her last album before this one (which has some huge hits) did pretty well.

 

Of course this is all iTunes charts.  Your local equivalent to the US Billboard Music chart might not place her anywhere near what iTunes (which is just digital sales via their store) does.   

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Haha, well what do you know. We're not immune to The Swift! Idk, some music crazes just manage to fly me completely by. I hear/read that Ariana Grande person is popular too, and I'm still not sure I've heard that Macklemore song. I'm certainly not saying I'm above certain artists. I know some of my own music loves are questionable to say the least (not that I'm saying these guys are, as I don't know them well enough to judge. I am just saying).

This might be getting too OT. Apologies!

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I kind of go back and forth on Taylor Swift. Sometimes it was embarrassing listening to her. I knew she was thinking of rugby when she said it was very violent. I cringed when she brought up the Bond movies as her way of knowing Cleese. Many times I felt it was just inappropriate for her to talk. On the other hand, I have to admit there were a couple of stories that were amusing. Still, I could barely tolerate her.

 

Does anyone know the story about Pietersen getting into trouble? If he explained it, I missed it. 

 

I thought Neil Diamond sounded pretty good, but the song wasn't that impressive.

 

Hopefully next week will be better.

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It probably would have been better with an all British couch if they're going to have a cricket player on. How many Americans are going to know anything at all about cricket? Almost any American would be lost in the discussion, especially since he seemed to be known for cricket related drama as much as being a good player.

 

Cleese + Swift and a comedian I think would have worked better.

 

I really liked her fans dying from everything, that was funny. And another New Zealander in the chair!

Edited by Nellise
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Whenever I see Neil Diamond all I can think about is a news story from a couple of years ago that talked about Neil writing that song for Caroline Kennedy. Now, that song was before my time, but if my calculations are correct he was a grown man at the time and she was a child. Even the newscaster commented on the "eeewww" factor of that, since apparently the lyrics were not age appropriate.

I tend to ignore Taylor Swift so I tuned her out for the most part. I did think it was funny that she wanted to know where to track down the New Zealander and Graham had to settle her down...

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First of all, I continue to be amazed at how FREAKING GINORMOUS Neil Diamond's ears are. He wore his hair over them for decades; no wonder why.  Second of all, the reporting around "Sweet Caroline" generally missed the point of the original quote. He didn't write it 'for' her, she was his inspiration. She was a kid, she was sweet, her name was Caroline. That's just your starting point as a songwriter. The song often as not goes in a whole other direction once you start working verse, rhyme and meter. No reason to think he was crushing on that specific girl with those specific lyrics.

 

Taylor seemed poised and charming. When you consider she's been living in a teen-pop bubble for essentially the past decade, that she could place Cleese at all might be a miracle. (and considering how much younger than he is his current wife, maybe she wasn't up on his CV when they met, either.) All the dying by her fans made me laugh, too.

 

If my fourth grade teacher was as good looking as the Kiwi in the red chair, well, I'd've done worse at spelling on purpose.

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I kind of go back and forth on Taylor Swift. Sometimes it was embarrassing listening to her. I knew she was thinking of rugby when she said it was very violent. I cringed when she brought up the Bond movies as her way of knowing Cleese. Many times I felt it was just inappropriate for her to talk. On the other hand, I have to admit there were a couple of stories that were amusing. Still, I could barely tolerate her.

Agreed. I think whenever she was Graham's focus she was fine and had some amusing stories. But when she wasn't the focus it was like she was a robot in sleep mode, she was slouched over and kept looking down at her lap. Except for when she was randomly interrupting cricket guy's story.

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I thought Taylor Swift was ok. She was certainly willing to laugh a bit at her mistakes (most of which stemmed from confusing cricket with rugby).  I have to think she didn't hear it properly when she thought they were talking about chess matches instead of test matches (another one due to not knowing much about cricket). And she didn't seem to mind when they kept teasing her about the cricket thing. Didn't quite catch what was said, but either Cleese or cricket-guy said something deragatory (about women?), and wow did the hackles go up. Not on my VOD yet, so I can't double check that.

 

I thought John Cleese came off as a sour old poop who didn't want to be there. To me he was rude when Swift tried to acknowledge her (very limited) knowledge of his work, and all he had to say was bad things about the things she knew about.

 

I have no idea who the cricket player is, but he seemed very self-absorbed. What was it GN said to him, something about the producers deciding the cricketeer should not try to play team sports?

 

How is it Neil Diamond sounds the same as he did decades ago? Liked that he was honest about not being able (read: willing) to sing some of his classics anymore, and has the crowd sing them instead.

 

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I love John Cleese, and always have. It was somewhat mortifying to see Taylor Swift on that couch with him though, as she was a walking advertisement for American self-absorption and ignorance of other countries. And she knows "cricket" (really rugby) from a Friends episode... She was obviously one of the American guests with no real idea of how the show works, and yes she's young, but she presumably has a staff, who could have briefed her on the other guests so she didn't look so stupid. She seemed to think the only part of the show that she had to be ready for was talking about herself, whereas the real genius of this show is the interactions.

I though John Cleese did a pretty nice job trying to involve her--it would have been easy to just ignore the little twerp in the middle, especially for someone with his quick wits. I didn't think he was trying to make her look dumb--it just kept happening. And from the story about her mom and the candles, it sounds like she come by it naturally.

I never read celebrity memoirs, but I might get John's. I'm sure it's hilarious.

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That was probably following the cricket guy saying that he doesn't like cats, which both Swift and Cleese do. First Swift edged away from Pietersen, then Cleese picked up on it and edged away, too. 

 

There was that, but they moved back closer later, and then Taylor said something which made both of the guys move away from her. I can't recall what she said though.

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I thought Taylor was intentionally playing the "dumb blond" and doing it well.

 

Ugh, I hope not. I don't think Taylor is smart enough to play dumb. I don't expect her to know the ins and outs of cricket or rugby, but if she's going to reference a Friends episode, do it accurately.

 

I go back and forth with her, too. Mostly I want to her to go away for a while.

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There was that, but they moved back closer later, and then Taylor said something which made both of the guys move away from her. I can't recall what she said though.

 

Well the clip I saw was about her "Secret Listening Parties" where she said she basically cyber-stalked her own fans to identify the really devoted fans she hadn't previously met and the guys edged away from her.  Except they started so far away from her to begin it just added to the weirdness.

 

I don't know about TSwift -- her songs are fun and catchy but she can't take a joke (see her response to Tina Fey's Golden Globes joke about her) and she generally strikes me as kind of robotic.  I sort of feel bad for her -- she has that Dakota Fanning quality of having been famous so young she's somehow stopped actually being human on some level.  Like she doesn't know how to have a normal, human interaction, just a camera-ready, photo op interaction.  You know what I mean?

Edited by dusang
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I don't know about TSwift -- her songs are fun and catchy but she can't take a joke (see her response to Tina Fey's Golden Globes joke about her) and she generally strikes me as kind of robotic.  I sort of feel bad for her -- she has that Dakota Fanning quality of having been famous so young she's somehow stopped actually being human on some level.  Like she doesn't know how to have a normal, human interaction, just a camera-ready, photo op interaction.  You know what I mean?

 

I know what you mean.  I had been trying to figure out how to express my thoughts on Taylor Swift and I think you summed it up pretty well.  I find something a bit... disingenuous... (?)  about her and the way she interacts. Like she's always "on" and don't find her very sincere, if that makes sense.  I get the impression she "acts" like she's easy-going and cool, but deep down she takes everything really way too seriously (see: every break-up song she's ever written.  At some point, don't you start to think maybe it's not you...it's me?)    I found her pleasant enough on the couch (and much more tolerable than I usually find her) but still something didn't quite seem right. 

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I thought Cleese came off like a crabby old man, this coming from a crabby old woman. When GN asked about Taylor's mother Cleese interrupted her and bought out his book and read that his mother was more of a pain in the ass than Taylors.

Neil said he does not sing Sweet Caroline and let's the audience do it .

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Neil's voice had a great deal more range in the 60s, early 70s when he had hits. By the late-70s, his voice was gruffer and growl-ier, losing elasticity and the upper range altogether. Compare and contrast "Solitary Man" or "I Am, I Said"  with later tunes like "Love on the Rocks" or "Heartlight" and you can hear the change. "Sweet Caroline" is written with a big pitch differential, really low in some parts, high in others, so just modulating the key for performance wouldn't help him. He's smart to give the high notes to his audiences.  (Hot August Night is still one of my favorite albums, I will confess.) Anyway, I thought his appearance here was really akin to recent appearances by Cliff Richard -- once titans of pop now grateful for the kitsch circuit.

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I love John Cleese as far as a performer but I have heard he isnt that easy to work with and I thought he came off kinda dickish overall especially to Taylor.  I am not a fan of hers either, but it was clear she was very nervous and I think she is uncomfortable being herself on camera as opposed to quick one off performances and photo op type stuff. She is under such scrutiny and in the public eye far more than the other people on the panel have ever been that she comes off as robotic or fake at times, when I think really she is just a shy very nice person who due to the her "world" is terrified of saying the wrong thing or doing something that may be perceived in the wrong way.  YMMV as always.

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Diamond is 73; Richard is 74. I wouldn't expect either of them to have the range they did when they were younger. I totally agree about the kitsch circuit. Richard's last appearance had a lot of secondhand embarrassment from me; the song he sang was just dreadful.

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I have heard he isnt that easy to work with and I thought he came off kinda dickish overall especially to Taylor.

 

Any person who complains in public about paying alimony can safely be categorized as dickish. (I count that the same as I count people who are rude to waitstaff as a character red flag.) So, even as I'm a fan of Cleese's comedy, I am capable of holding an opposing view of his character.

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Any person who complains in public about paying alimony can safely be categorized as dickish. (I count that the same as I count people who are rude to waitstaff as a character red flag.) So, even as I'm a fan of Cleese's comedy, I am capable of holding an opposing view of his character.

It depends on if the complaint is meant as humor or not, I think.  Alimony is a classic source of comedy.  If he's serious with the complaints, he's a dick. If he's using it to build a character of seeming like a dick so people laugh at him, then he's doing something else entirely.  Sometimes it's hard to know which people are doing though--you have to watch them over time to see if they actually have a sense of humility about themselves you can spot through any potential "he's a dick" character they create.

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I agree that alimony is long used as joke fodder; I don't so much agree it's funny. To me, it's just more in the line of 'bitchez, amirite fellas?' In Cleese's case however, his complaints were made in interviews and non-comic settings.

 

To dub's point, he can be bitter if he wants. We feel what we feel. It's the public complaint that speaks poorly of him, in my book.

Edited by attica
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Didn't quite catch what was said, but either Cleese or cricket-guy said something deragatory (about women?), and wow did the hackles go up. Not on my VOD yet, so I can't double check that.

Rewatched. It wasn't exactly what I thought it was. They were talking about cats vs dogs, with KP on the dog side and Swift/Cleese cat supporters. KP keeps leaning closer and closer to Swift (does the furniture he's on have an arm? It looked like he had his knee up against the arm of a chair, and kept leaning over that), and she slid away from him and closer to Cleese. Then

 

Cleese: A dog would say, "Oh, Master, Master. Who shall I bite next?" I much prefer cats.

GN: Really?

Cleese: They're unpredictable (crosses arms) and cussed, like women, (turns to Swift) you know?

Audience: Ooooh

Swift: (freezes, stares at him, then smiles) Oh, we don't want to do that. (funny voice, like a kid and "oooh, you're in trouble now")

Audence & Cleese: Laughs (Cleese laughing big)

Audience & KP: Applause

GN (mime-ing a cat): The claws have just come out.

Audience: Laughs

Cleese says something inaudible to Swift during the laughter, and she smiles and replies with something short and equally inaudible.

GN goes on to talk about her new album.

 

so that's that

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I rewatched that scene a couple times too. I coukdnt make out what Cleese says either but it seemed like she replied thank you, with a smile. That with his laugh, I assumed he said something to her like good comeback.

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I'm finally watching this episode, and I'm not sure what to think. I enjoy Taylor's music but I'm not much for watching chat shows (aside from Graham) so I'm not sure how much of her on the couch is an act or actually her own personality-- the cricket/rugby mixup was hilarious in either case. Graham Norton reading the blog posts was hilarious-- I could have listened to those all night.

I love John Cleese but definitely think he was kind of veering into grumpy old man territory.

As for the cricket player-- he had pink socks. That's about all that I took away from him.

Loved that there was a Kiwi in the red chair!

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I'm finally watching this episode, and I'm not sure what to think. I enjoy Taylor's music but I'm not much for watching chat shows (aside from Graham) so I'm not sure how much of her on the couch is an act or actually her own personality-- the cricket/rugby mixup was hilarious in either case. Graham Norton reading the blog posts was hilarious-- I could have listened to those all night.

Surprisingly, the best insight I've seen into her real personality wasn't on a chat show at all, but on her recent multi-episode guest mentor stint on the US version of The Voice.  She came off far smarter and together in that then anywhere else I've seen her.

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I tend to ignore Taylor Swift so I tuned her out for the most part. I did think it was funny that she wanted to know where to track down the New Zealander and Graham had to settle her down...

Just watched this as we're a little behind with airings up here in the great white north.  This was hilarious!  She really sounded interested in Bin (Ben) didn't she?  It was also obvious she had no idea how the red chair works.

 

I have to say I usually don't pay much attention to anything she does, but I didn't mind her on here.  I think she's far from stupid and knows exactly what she's doing.  She got some zingers in and was quick on the uptake for a couple of things which I didn't expect.  You don't get far in show business and stay in a position that she has by being an idiot.  I didn't however like how the conversation went back to her when Neil Diamond came out.  We got a few minutes with him and then the focus was back on her.  Let the man have his moment - he's earned it.

 

On a superficial note - I kept waiting for a wardrobe malfunction or inappropriate sitting situation with her short skirt.  I always feel uncomfortable whenever a woman comes out in something that is difficult to sit in.  I keep waiting to see them tugging their skirts/dresses because they ride up while sitting or can't cover what they should when the woman is no longer standing. 

 

I have no idea who the rugby player is but that's the beauty of the show for me.  I've come to know people I would never have laid eyes on if not for this show and several of them have been interesting and funny.

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I have no idea who the rugby player is but that's the beauty of the show for me. I've come to know people I would never have laid eyes on if not for this show and several of them have been interesting and funny.

Haha. Considering Taylor's confusion about the sport KP plays I found this reply quite funny. Kevin is actually a cricket player. And believe me you are better off not knowing who he is ;-) It may just be my biased Proteas love (our South African cricket team) but lets just say Kevin Pietersen has burned almost all bridges in the cricketing world - especially in England and South Africa. He has never known when to keep his mouth shut and as such has been known to run his mouth on dressing room issues as well as issues with the brass.

I rewatched this episode the other day and found Taylor's mixup with calling Cricket a dangerous and aggressive sport and the audience laughing about it - since she confused rugby with cricket - not troublesome as such but still a bit uncomfortable, considering Phil Hughes death on the cricket pitch only a couple of weeks before the recording.

Otherwise this was still one of the really good episodes this season

Edited by Snipsa
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Haha. Considering Taylor's confusion about the sport KP plays I found this reply quite funny. Kevin is actually a cricket player. And believe me you are better off not knowing who he is ;-) It may just be my biased Proteas love (our South African cricket team) but lets just say Kevin Pietersen has burned almost all bridges in the cricketing world - especially in England and South Africa. He has never known when to keep his mouth shut and as such has been known to run his mouth on dressing room issues as well as issues with the brass.

 

Thank you for the correction.  This is especially funny given how much I enjoyed the episode with Freddie Flintoff.  When Graham showed a picture of Kevin in front of Buckingham Palace my first thought was "I wonder if you were there the same time that Freddie was"?  I do know the difference between cricket and rugby, although some days it isn't evident - LOL!

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