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S19.E25: He Heals the Brokenhearted


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(edited)
4 hours ago, Kellyee said:

Nothing seems to have changed much at all. I guess we'll maybe hear more at the Tell All starting next week. 

Get real info from the Tell Nothing??? Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath on any surprise or really truthful revelations from that!! Historically they are all a big fat nothing burger!!  Suki is not the host to get any truths out of this crowd.  Well, maybe from the OG3, but not K & R for sure.

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20 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

I guess Maddie was trying to be the adult in the room by saying she was sorry if she ever offended Robyn and her tenders, which I respect her for, but I am sure it was to no avail and just further gave Robyn a sense of satisfaction. Don't feed the beast whose appetite for victimhood and drama is bottomless. 

I saw this bit and if I heard correctly, Maddie and Leon were talking g about R's kids, not R herself. They were talking about wanting to tell her kids that it was never about them, that they have nothing against them, and that if they ever offended them they were sorry. Nothing about R though, just her kids.

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(edited)
13 hours ago, LilyD said:

As beautiful and touching as this funeral may have been, it should have been private in accordance with Garrison's own feelings/struggles about this show. They could have paid tribute to him in a million other ways or filmed the funeral from a respectful distance. Jeez, who even came up with the idea of filming Kody digging a grave for a son he obviously didn't care much for?  I'm trying to remember which (if any?) funerals of very famous people were broadcast that detailed. I believe most keep parts of the service, like the actual interment private, as should be.  But that's my personal opinion.

We talked about how far the Browns would go to keep the money train going. Well, here's the answer. 

 

I gather you didn't watch. (I don't blame anyone who skipped it, or this season, or dropped out on the show years ago.) I think you have some misconceptions based on our reactions.

The event covered in S19.E25 was not Garrison's funeral. It covered events that happened months later.

Garrison passed on March 5, 2024. His private funeral was held on March 9, 2024 — four days after his death. Nothing surrounding that service was filmed. On March 24th, the National Guard held a memorial service, and although most of the family attended, the show did not film that, either.

The focus of Sunday's episode was the family graveside gathering for the interment of Garrison's ashes. It took place in late June or early July of 2024. There was a larger Brown reunion, and both the OG gang, and K/R & crew did other things during their respective trips to Wyoming.

The graveside committal was filmed at a respectful distance, at the request of the family. We did not see most of it. They did not show the graveside remarks of siblings, moms, or others who chose to speak off camera. In short, it was not filmed in great detail.

Digging the grave was another story. It did not take place on the day of the committal. Kody, his brother Scott, and brother-in-law Tim dug the grave, on a previous day (with permission from the cemetery). Kody presented it as his idea, and I think that's true. It smelled like Kody, if you know what I mean.

I suspect Kody thought it would make him look good, but it made him look like the attention seeker we already knew him to be. In my opinion, the show shouldn't have given it as much coverage as it did, but Kody, Scott, and Tim were all mic-ed, knew they were on camera, and chose to be filmed. No one else was present (other than the crew).

Part of the problem for fans, is that the Browns do not suffer from any great precision of language. Consequently, they use terms like "funeral," "wake," "service," etc. as they spring to mind, and it's difficult for us to know how to phrase things. 

Edited by General Days
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What I weirdly noticed was that Kody's hands were immaculately clean (as were his clothes) even after a long day of digging a hole.  Shoot, I can't even put a plant in a pot without smearing myself with mud.

I thought the circumstances surrounding Garrison's death and the subsequent services that were held in his honor, and the family's reaction to the former, were handled as delicately as possible, honoring his life and also allowing the people who have followed this family a glimpse into how the Browns are dealing with it, how they honored Garrison, and how much he was loved.  I'm not upset with it being filmed - there are people who have followed this family closely over the years and feel a connection with them and I think the family understands that and wanted to share him with those people without disrespecting him.  To have done nothing would have kind of meant they were trying to sweep the circumstances surrounding his death under the rug, and I do not think that was Janelle's wish at all.  She loved her son and wants people to know how he lived, not how he died (sorry, I know that's a vague Brian's Song reference that a lot of younger people won't get but it was a wonderful movie).  

I will remember the pain and love on Meri's face when she talked about how the world lost such a wonderful person.

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(edited)
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12 minutes ago, LilyD said:

@General Days true, I didn’t watch. I find this entire bit too hard for personal reasons. 
I read your post with interest; I had not realised that funeral service, interment and/or gravesite committal services are considered different things in the US and that you obviously do things (slightly) different from how we do it.

 

 

Traditionally in the US, you'd have a wake, funeral mass (or religious ceremony) then burial, and together most folks would call it "the funeral."  With more people getting cremated and delays between death and memorial services or interment, there are many more variations of how much or little people choose to do.  Some want a simple graveside burial of ashes, a few words spoken, nothing else.  Some do a full funeral home visit and cortege with hearses and flower cars and a ceremony at the graveside whether with a casket or urn.  Some choose cremation and a long waiting period until the weather is more conducive to burial/better for out of town relatives to come visit, etc.  At a slight distance it becomes more of a celebration of life than a communal grieving.

The Browns picked the last option in terms of the actual interment - a location and timing that worked best for a large extended family.  

Edited by kassa
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45 minutes ago, LilyD said:

@General Days true, I didn’t watch. I find this entire bit too hard for personal reasons. 

 

I am sorry. I've since seen your post in the other thread. I think anyone who thinks they shouldn't watch these last two episodes (especially) made a smart choice. They were difficult.

 

Quote

I read your post with interest; I had not realised that funeral service, interment and/or gravesite committal services are considered different things in the US and that you obviously do things (slightly) different from how we do it.

 

What we saw for Garrison wasn't typical for the US, but we're a nation of about 330,000,000 people of all sorts of ethnic, religious, and non-religious backgrounds, so there's not only one way of doing things.

As a white, Protestant American, with a lot of Catholic family, I can speak generally about the (non-Mormon) Protestant and Catholic traditions I've experienced in my life. 

People from these Christian traditions, or who are more or less culturally Christian, typically have a wake/visitation hours for a day or so (often in a funeral home, although a generation or two ago, they might have been in the home of the deceased), and then a funeral service, either at a church led by clergy, or at a funeral home (sometimes led by clergy, sometimes by the family itself). This is usually done a few days after the death.

After the funeral, there's a brief cemetery graveside service. And honestly, I've never differentiated between that service and the funeral itself before now, because my family does church funeral, then goes right to the cemetery (and this has been the case until the last few years, when a couple of different cousins chose to be cremated).

After the funeral/interment there's often a gathering with refreshments, either at a family member's home, or a church, or restaurant/function hall. Sometimes, that gathering is called a collation, but I think that's an old-fashioned term that is used less, now.

There are variations on what I've laid out, for sure, sometimes with delayed memorials, but it really depends on a family's culture, traditions, religious practices, etc. And I think in the last couple of decades, more people have felt comfortable leaving behind some of these rituals and doing things in a way that work for their family.

I believe typical LDS practices are more or less similar, with visitation hours (i.e. a wake) and a funeral service in an LDS chapel, then interment, but I'm not familiar with details. Also, Mormons don't have seminary trained, professional clergy the way that Protestants and Catholics do, so I don't know how that affects how standardized their mourning rituals are.

Janelle said in a prior episode their family hasn't really done a cremation before. Because of that, I think the Browns were a little at a loss as to how to proceed after the original funeral in March.

When Kody told Janelle that he'd like to bury Garrison's ashes back in Wyoming, alongside his father and her mother, Janelle liked they idea. They decided to wait until the summertime to do it, when much of the family would be traveling back to Wyoming for a reunion, anyhow. It was sort of a self-organized thing. 

 

 

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I still don't understand why Janelle allowed K to bring the ashes to WY. He was not a father to Garrison. He actively shit-talked him and Gabe, and he basically shunned them. I would have told K to go pound sand. I guess Janelle is a better person than I am. I also wouldn't want my son laid to rest next to the parents of his narcissistic paternal sperm donor. I rather think someone like Garrison would have preferred to have his ashes spread out under a night sky somewhere. That seems more fitting to who he was.

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The one Mormon death and funeral I've been around was the same as most generalized Christian ones.  They had a viewing/visitation at the funeral home.  The funeral was in the chapel of the funeral home and then those who wanted could go to the graveside and toss a carnation on top of the casket as it was lowered.  There was only a Psalm reading and a prayer before lowering the casket.  A relative of the deceased sang while the casket was lowered. That last I hadn't seen before, but it was nice and she had a good voice.  

Most families don't make the production out of internment that the Browns did if they've already had a funeral and/or memorial service.  I think if left to Janelle, it wouldn't have turned into such a big deal.  Kody saw it as a chance to make something else about him and his wishes and his emotions.

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1 hour ago, surfgirl said:

I still don't understand why Janelle allowed K to bring the ashes to WY. He was not a father to Garrison. He actively shit-talked him and Gabe, and he basically shunned them. I would have told K to go pound sand. I guess Janelle is a better person than I am. I also wouldn't want my son laid to rest next to the parents of his narcissistic paternal sperm donor. I rather think someone like Garrison would have preferred to have his ashes spread out under a night sky somewhere. That seems more fitting to who he was.

Garrison was buried next to Kody's father and Janelle's mother, who married later in life.  So, yes, Kody and Janelle are step-siblings. 

Polygamist families often have a family wreath instead of a family tree.

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Someone definitely snuck into my house and chopped a bunch of onions during this episode.  I understand some people's cynicism about why this was filmed, but I do believe Janelle wanted to show the aftermath of Garrison's death as a way to help others to cope with either the loss of a loved one to suicide or perhaps to help someone reach out for help before it was too late.  I still commend her courage in allowing this to go forward.  

Now to Kody.  First, how does one supposedly grow up on a ranch and not know the first thing about properly sitting a horse?  I don't know that much about horses, but he was lucky that horse put up with him and didn't dump him on the ground.  And two full grown adults should never be riding a horse together.  That was way too much weight for that horse to carry.

I have to admit, listening to his account of his behavior at the funeral home made me very angry.  Now, don't get me wrong, I believe he is grieving, he is just so dysfunctional that it comes out like this.  He just can't take even a sliver of responsibility for the estrangement with his kids.  And honestly, wanting to dig the grave was the most Kody thing he could do.  Whether he is digging holes or chopping down trees, he is all about doing hard physical labor to prove his manliness and to avoid doing emotional labor to make things better.  Clearly by his own account, he barged into the funeral home and acted angry that his sons were doing the planning.  First, I would bet money he was late and they needed to get going on planning rather than waiting for him to wander in.  Second, he would have gotten all he could want without creating a bunch of bad feeling if he had shown the slightest bit of humility.  Instead of charging in saying "let me have this.  I held him first" like some petulant five year old, he could have said "look, I know things are strained between us, but I have lost a son and want a part in planning how we say goodbye to him".  But he would never be so kind and respectful because he thinks he's the head of everything.  

The story about the bloody nose was such a brother thing.  Garrison wouldn't let Gabe ride o the four-wheeler, so Gabe punched him in the nose.  Janelle's boys were pretty rough and tumble, but you can see they have each other's backs now.  And they love their Mama and the bonus moms too.

I thought the service was lovely.  Tim really knew Garrison and Mitch carved a beautiful urn for Garrison's ashes.  I lost it at Paedon talking about how they now had each others' dog tags and Janelle talking about handing the urn to Kody.  It throws Robyn's behavior into such stark contrast.  While I was glad not to see her usual dramatics, it still seems like none of this matters to her.  I may be projecting, but it seemed as though she was thinking that once the service was over things would get back to normal for her and Kody.  That's not going to happen.  Grief doesn't work like that and Kody will be haunted in the middle of the night by all the hateful things he said and did.

Finally, everyone needs an Uncle Gabe to bring fireworks and be the fun uncle who flouts the parents' restrictions.  I loved how he made sure Axel had fun, but still made sure he didn't lose any fingers.  

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Quote

 It throws Robyn's behavior into such stark contrast.  While I was glad not to see her usual dramatics, it still seems like none of this matters to her.  

I don't like defending Robyn on anything, but I think her reactions were appropriate given her and Garrison's relationship. I got the vibe from previous seasons that Garrison hated Robyn, blamed her for many things, and may have been the person who called her asking if they could have their father back. If Robyn had been sobbing over Garrison's death, it would have come across as completely fake and attention-seeking. I think it was appropriate for Robyn to stay in the background and comment as little as possible. 

 

 

 

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19 hours ago, surfgirl said:

I saw this bit and if I heard correctly, Maddie and Leon were talking g about R's kids, not R herself. They were talking about wanting to tell her kids that it was never about them, that they have nothing against them, and that if they ever offended them they were sorry. Nothing about R though, just her kids.

I found their brief conversation so interesting.  If we had one season of just the siblings talking about growing up on tv and how they all interact as adults, I would love it.  It made me happy to see Leon joining in with Janelle and Christine's kids in the rental and on the fishing trip.

But more than that, Kody and Robyn have crafted an entire storyline about how shunned they've been by everyone, and how their kids don't even know their half-siblings, etc., etc.  And here we have Maddie and Leon talking about how they would love to have conversations with Dayton, Aurora and Brianna, to let them know that if they've been hurt, it was not intended.  That takes away Kody and Robyn's narrative of being the poor misunderstood victims.  K & R separated themselves because that's what they wanted to do, and then told us story after story about how none of it was their fault.  I for one am thrilled that Maddie got a chance to say how that is not necessarily the truth.  So now, Robyn is going to have to re-re-re-write history once again to ensure she and Kody come out on top.  

13 hours ago, surfgirl said:

I still don't understand why Janelle allowed K to bring the ashes to WY. He was not a father to Garrison. 

My guess is that she was so numbed and overwhelmed by everything, it was easier to allow Kody to do what he thought he needed to do rather than start any kind of argument at such a raw time.  Perhaps she talked it over with her kids as well and they came to an understanding that Kody could do this, even though it probably made everyone involved feel very conflicted. 

 

1 hour ago, Kellyee said:

I don't like defending Robyn on anything, but I think her reactions were appropriate given her and Garrison's relationship. I got the vibe from previous seasons that Garrison hated Robyn, blamed her for many things, and may have been the person who called her asking if they could have their father back. If Robyn had been sobbing over Garrison's death, it would have come across as completely fake and attention-seeking. I think it was appropriate for Robyn to stay in the background and comment as little as possible. 

I agree to an extent, but Robyn brought all of this upon herself.  The very fact that Robyn thought that she had to monitor her emotions because she was thinking about how she would be perceived is the height of irony, IMO.  She's been dry-crying her way through the last 18 seasons of this show, and now when she actually SHOULD be showing emotion, she reigns it in because of what people might think?  If she hadn't been so blatantly fake this entire time, crying and crying while slowly managing to tear the family apart for her own benefit, she would be able to show her true feelings - but part of me thinks that she doesn't even know what her real feelings are in this situation.  I think she might be conflicted that she's not as sad as she should be.  She's now got a guilt-ridden husband who has severed the majority of his relationships to deal with 24/7, and she was partially responsible for that.  What happens to her and Kody if he finally feels the need to start repairing what they both broke together?  I don't know if she wants things fixed, because then perhaps Kody sees just how much of these divides were at her behest, and he might just wake up and truly see the destruction the two of them have wrought together.

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Did I hear Janelle say that she sent an itinerary to Kody about what everyone was going to be doing on the family gathering in Wyoming?  Wondering how that played with Kody and Robyn.  They had an invite but chose to stay separate.  Of course it would have been incredibly awkward for ABSARK (minus Dayton) to show up but I would love to know if Kody even dared to broach the idea of joining but Robyn nixed it.

Also, Truely plunking herself down in a folding chair and pulling out her crocheting during the fishing trip cements why she will always be my favorite Brownie.

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The conversation between Leon and Maddie was picked up mid conversation it seems. I would have liked to have seen the whole conversation.

For me the conversation was strange though. If Maddie wanted to say something to Robyn’s kids this wasn’t the way. I doubt they watch the show, even if they do they would have seen this almost a year later. It seemed to be for the audience, imo.

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IMO Leon has never looked better - lovely to see them.  

Whether Robyn's kids watch the show or not I suspect they are on social media.  Perhaps Maddie wanted it out there that the estrangement between the OG kids and the Robyn kids was not at the OG's instigation and that they would like to re-establish a familial relationship.  At least Robyn's kids know that they have family out there when they decide to get out of the stranglehold currently being held on them. Shoot, Sol and Ari are their half-siblings by blood, and since the others are adopted they are all Browns.

Loved Truly and her crocheting.  I was notorious for always having a book everywhere I went so I probably would have plopped myself in a chair and enjoyed being around everyone and also enjoyed my book.

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4 hours ago, RoxiP said:

IMO Leon has never looked better - lovely to see them.  

Whether Robyn's kids watch the show or not I suspect they are on social media.  Perhaps Maddie wanted it out there that the estrangement between the OG kids and the Robyn kids was not at the OG's instigation and that they would like to re-establish a familial relationship.  At least Robyn's kids know that they have family out there when they decide to get out of the stranglehold currently being held on them. Shoot, Sol and Ari are their half-siblings by blood, and since the others are adopted they are all Browns.

Loved Truly and her crocheting.  I was notorious for always having a book everywhere I went so I probably would have plopped myself in a chair and enjoyed being around everyone and also enjoyed my book.

I'm an introvert, and always had/have my nose in a book (as my mom said.)  Truely has my admiration for being a reader, and apparently mastering crochet ( I tried and couldn't get the hang of it.)  She marches to the tune of her own drummer, and I love it.

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13 minutes ago, precious pupp said:

I'm an introvert, and always had/have my nose in a book (as my mom said.)  Truely has my admiration for being a reader, and apparently mastering crochet ( I tried and couldn't get the hang of it.)  She marches to the tune of her own drummer, and I love it.

Agree.  And it seems like Christine just lets her be which is also good.

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So I don't mean to be morbid or to miss the point. I have only ever planned one funeral in my life and it was a long time ago. I distinctly recall picking out a coffin, but also a ... crypt? In any event, it was the concrete lining that was inside the hole, designed to protect the coffin from water damage. 

Leading to my question - was either the urn or the box it was placed in sealed in any way to protect the contents? I didn't watch but I read of Kody exercising his manly manliness and digging the whole but did anyone do anything to make sure the precious contents of said hole would be protected?

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(edited)
44 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

So I don't mean to be morbid or to miss the point. I have only ever planned one funeral in my life and it was a long time ago. I distinctly recall picking out a coffin, but also a ... crypt? In any event, it was the concrete lining that was inside the hole, designed to protect the coffin from water damage. 

Leading to my question - was either the urn or the box it was placed in sealed in any way to protect the contents? I didn't watch but I read of Kody exercising his manly manliness and digging the whole but did anyone do anything to make sure the precious contents of said hole would be protected?

 

There was no mention of either a concrete or metal vault. Now whether the cemetery put something in, after Kody, Scott, and Tim dug the grave, we don't know.

That said, Garrison was cremated. There are not the same concerns about burying cremated remains as there are about burying bodies. Also, different states are likely to have different regulations regarding burial, and I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Wyoming could be a state with fewer regulations.

Also, in some places now, people opt to not put the casket inside a vault. There is a whole eco-friendly movement with regard to burial.

I don't want to go into it, because some people will find it disturbing. Those who are interested can read more here: https://returnhome.com/what-are-the-different-types-of-eco-friendly-burials/ . There's a lot of talk about decomposition, let the reader beware.

 

Edited by General Days
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13 hours ago, Kellyee said:

I don't like defending Robyn on anything, but I think her reactions were appropriate given her and Garrison's relationship. I got the vibe from previous seasons that Garrison hated Robyn, blamed her for many things, and may have been the person who called her asking if they could have their father back. If Robyn had been sobbing over Garrison's death, it would have come across as completely fake and attention-seeking. I think it was appropriate for Robyn to stay in the background and comment as little as possible. 

 

 

 

I agree that her doing the crying thing would have seemed really disingenuous given her relationship to Garrison, but it just seemed not like she just wasn't sad, but that the whole thing was an inconvenience to her and she just wanted to get it over with.  I can understand to an extent because she has torched her relationships with the rest of the family and that would make the gathering really uncomfortable.   But that's on her.  Meri particularly tried for years to have a relationship with her and Robyn repeatedly mistreated her.  I still think she was glad to have it over and was hoping they would just go back to being the happy, monogamous family they are trying to sell us on.

 

49 minutes ago, General Days said:

Also, in some places now, people opt to not put the casket inside a vault. There is a whole eco-friendly movement with regard to burial.

 

Several of our local cemeteries have set aside areas for people who want natural burial and also have scatter gardens where people can scatter a loved one's ashes.  Not to get too morbid, but when my father died, the funeral director told us that there were no restrictions on where the ashes could go even into the water supply.  Rest assured, we didn't do that.

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1 hour ago, General Days said:

 

There was no mention of either a concrete or metal vault. Now whether the cemetery put something in, after Kody, Scott, and Tim dug the grave, we don't know.

That said, Garrison was cremated. There are not the same concerns about burying cremated remains as there are about burying bodies. Also, different states are likely to have different regulations regarding burial, and I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Wyoming could be a state with fewer regulations.

Also, in some places now, people opt to not put the casket inside a vault. There is a whole eco-friendly movement with regard to burial.

I don't want to go into it, because some people will find it disturbing. Those who are interested can read more here: https://returnhome.com/what-are-the-different-types-of-eco-friendly-burials/ . There's a lot of talk about decomposition, let the reader beware.

 

Thank you! Vault! That's the word I was trying to come up with. 

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51 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Thank you! Vault! That's the word I was trying to come up with. 

I actually thought crypt was right (and I knew what you meant), but when I Googled the eco-friendly stuff, I saw "vault" and went, "Oh yeah, that's what it is."

Digression: When one of my uncles died, my grandfather (his father) was still alive. When we were at the funeral home, choosing his casket and vault, the funeral director was giving the hard sell on one kind of vault and mentioned something like a 99-year-guarantee (or some big number). 

My grandfather — who was quick on the uptake, even in grief — looked him right in the eye and said, "Who's going to know?"

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(edited)

Isn't a crypt like a room where the casket is put?  Like, don't vampires usually go into crypts?

Of course then I had to google...

 

A crypt is a subterranean chamber, often found beneath a church or in a mausoleum, serving as a burial place. It can be a single space for one casket, or larger for multiple individuals or families. Crypts can also be found in other architectural contexts, like catacombs.

See, Sister Wives is an educational show.

Edited by RoxiP
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17 hours ago, General Days said:

I actually thought crypt was right (and I knew what you meant), but when I Googled the eco-friendly stuff, I saw "vault" and went, "Oh yeah, that's what it is."

Digression: When one of my uncles died, my grandfather (his father) was still alive. When we were at the funeral home, choosing his casket and vault, the funeral director was giving the hard sell on one kind of vault and mentioned something like a 99-year-guarantee (or some big number). 

My grandfather — who was quick on the uptake, even in grief — looked him right in the eye and said, "Who's going to know?"

OMG, I had the exact same experience with my best friend at the time when my father passed. "Who's going to check?"

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9 hours ago, Auntie Freeze said:

I'm going to be petty. Kody, it's sexton, not sextant. Also, where were your manly chores gloves?

It is possible that he borrowed the shovels & tarp from the nearby Brown family farm, where real men work with callused hands.  I didn't hear all that stuff rattling around in his vehicle during his 'pilgrimage' from Arizona.

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On 5/21/2025 at 5:36 PM, Meow Mix said:

it just seemed not like she just wasn't sad, but that the whole thing was an inconvenience to her and she just wanted to get it over with

If my husband were mourning an old friend I'd never even met, I'd be sad for him in his grief. It wouldn't have to be any loss to me -- I'd just be worried about my husband's loss. Robyn doesn't even send that vibe, and she DID know Garrison.

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On 5/19/2025 at 2:16 PM, surfgirl said:

Then, give us a new series 'After Sister Wives', starring only the OG wives and children who want to be shown. Explore the aftermath - the real dirt - of plyg families once they escape their toxic patriarchy. That is a show I would watch and support. But nothing more with K&R and their kids. That would be the best punishment for them, actual FOMO of no more TLC gravy train. NO SOUP FOR YOU!

I absolutely love this idea. 

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On 5/22/2025 at 4:36 AM, Auntie Freeze said:

I'm going to be petty. Kody, it's sexton, not sextant. Also, where were your manly chores gloves?

OMG he is such a poser and also always tries to be so intellectual, like he is above everyone, especially the viewers.

On a another petty note, loved his boob sweat when he came out of the burial hole, at the funeral ~ I'm sure that bothers him.

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