S18.E07: Basement Blues

[Elizzikra]

First days home after the honeymoon! Everyone sees everyone else's current home (except Karla's, her lease conveniently ended right before the wedding). Michelle's cat shows David more interest and affection in 10 seconds than Michelle has in the first 10+ days of marriage. 

[Elizzikra]

Madison is wearing a chartreuse toga to AfterParty. This ends the streak of women wearing attractive and appropriate outfits to AfterParty but does give us an idea for next week's specialty drink.

[Crashcourse]

I haven't watched much of this season but watching Allen tonight he seems like a nice guy.  I hope I'm right because I love his voice (he could talk and read to me whenever he wants 😄), he has a nice place--and he can cook! 😋   

I don't know if it's just nerves, but Emem just seems kind of wacky.  

 

[atomic]

Allen is one of the best quality husbands they've ever cast on this show.  I already thought he was a great catch and then this week we find out he is a great cook and also remodeled his kitchen on his own. It's too bad Madison is too hung up on superficial things to truly appreciate him.

I know a lot of people were giving David the benefit of the doubt for his living situation, but that was actually pretty bad. A definite far cry from the grown-up "studio apartment" he made it out to be. I know none of this excuses how Michelle is treating him, but I also do not blame her for being majorly turned off by a man living like that at 36.

I thought Camille was such a sweetheart in the beginning, but she is starting to veer into Madison territory with her criticisms of Thomas' "swag" and style. And much like Madison, I do not consider her to be a fashionista by any means -- so many matronly style choices that do no favors for such a pretty girl.

Emem's apartment was sooo nice and Ikechi was working my last nerve with all those passive aggressive comments he was making while touring it. He continues to come off as inauthentic and I cannot stand his cringy word salad speak. He wants to "see the art" in Emem? What does that even mean??

[seacliffsal]

So many clues as to why most of these contestants aren't married.

Madison has some nerve criticizing Alan's clothing choices when she shows up in her ripped jeans outfit to meet the experts (and the same with whatever that outfit was that she wore on the after party).  I really like Alan and felt for him when she didn't even come home that first night.  I don't see them lasting and I think that down the road Madison will regret her dismissive attitude towards him.  However, he does need to train his dog...

Ikechi can leave with all his 'meager lifestyle' comments.  What does that even mean?  Also, I thought his apartment was really nice-great view!  How was that apartment, with all of his expensive 'music' stuff qualify as meager.  He doesn't like Emem.  I think he and Karla should get together and then they could passive-aggressive each other to their hearts' content.  Emem did not deserve all of his digs about her apartment.  He should be grateful that if they stayed married he would have a nice place to live...but, they won't stay married and he actually already has a nice apartment (not a spoiler, I just don't think he's there to be married, I think he's there to become 'famous...').

So, Camille thinks her 'culture' is the only one that counts?  Very dismissive of Tom's background and life experiences.  She never inferred that she could learn from his 'culture' only that he needs to adapt her 'culture.'  She seems to think that 'swag' in a man is highly desirable, yet it has never seemingly worked for her in her prior relationships.  

I think Juan is already over Karla and I think she doesn't know how to handle that.  It seems as though her 'go with the flow' facade is showing cracks.  

And Michelle?  While I may agree with her that David's apartment leaves a lot to be desired, there is no way she will ever give him an actual chance.  She should have just told the experts that she was done and then exit the show. 

 

[kristen111]

Just now, kristen111 said:

 

I agree that Michelle should have said David is not for her.  Those therapists are always pushing.  Maybe if he cut that hair and dressed better she would go for him as he is a great guy.  The apartment is not the whole issue.  I really think it’s his hair.  Speaking of hair, Madison’s hair is sloppy.  The rest of them do not phase me at all.  Who goes to bed with fake eyelashes?  That’s all I got.

[Katie111]

All the therapists basically told Michelle was to try to stay positive.  But she told them she wakes up everyday and says she is going to try and it never works.  They literally offered her nothing.  Granted she is a bitch but David is really starting to get on my nerves.  Her apartment was very nice (not Emem or Allen nice) but still very nice and he totally downplayed it by saying they basically live in the same type of place.   His apartment was dark and dingy.  If he was my son and this was going on TV, I would have been down there sprucing it up (maybe a new comforter and some decluttering).  I wouldn't really even consider it an apartment.

Madison needs to get over herself.  Her style choices are not great. All we've seen her in are workout clothes, and tank tops with ripped jeans or shorts.  Her hair always looks like it needs to be brushed.  Her "cute" braid is not doing it for her.   Alan's apartment was really nice, esp since he redid the kitchen himself.  I don't remember her place at all.  He has a nice place, good job, he's handy, he can cook and yet she still wants some "pretty boy".  They should have found him a nice wholesome midwest girl who would appreciate him.

Camille also needs to get over herself.  Her outfit choices scream lesbian to me (blocky t-shirt with spandex shorts?).   Where is her swag?  

I didn't like how the girls got to shit all over the guys with the experts and the guys all said nothing negative about their spouses.  

 

 

 

 

[Madding crowd]

I didn’t like the experts telling Thomas he needs to let Camille change him so he can have more swag but didn’t tell her or the other wives what they need to change. Michelle was only told to be easier on her self. I think Thomas and Allen are both good guys who will make a good husband to someone who can appreciate them.

Juan is very self-centered and it was a red flag when he suggested Karla need not bring anything into the apartment. I wouldn’t live with someone who only wanted their things around. I like David but he doesn’t have an apartment, he has a basement bedroom. Nothing about those two go together. Emem and Ikechi both seem like they are acting for the camera so I have no idea if they like each other or not.

 

[Elizzikra]

11 hours ago, atomic said:

Allen is one of the best quality husbands they've ever cast on this show.  I already thought he was a great catch and then this week we find out he is a great cook and also remodeled his kitchen on his own. It's too bad Madison is too hung up on superficial things to truly appreciate him.

I would be all over Allen if I were younger and not already married to the most wonderful person on earth. I think he is fantastic.

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I agree that Michelle should have said David is not for her.  Those therapists are always pushing.  Maybe if he cut that hair and dressed better she would go for him as he is a great guy.  The apartment is not the whole issue.  I really think it’s his hair.  Speaking of hair, Madison’s hair is sloppy.  The rest of them do not phase me at all.  Who goes to bed with fake eyelashes?  That’s all I got.

Madison looked fantastic on AfterParty though. Her eye makeup was a bit heavy but she really looked good.

[Retired at last]

I will have to (maybe) watch it later. I saw bits and pieces last night and thought that both of the experts looked awful. They looked wan and weary. All I remember seeing is Michelle coming up with a list of things that SHE wants to do and they can do them together.  I saw a little of her on Afterparty and it seemed like she was getting praise for trying her best. I think maybe KNP was pushing her a little to own some her issues, but I am not seeing any growth on her part at all. And, I saw a clip of David's "apartment." Michelle was right - it is a dump in his parents' basement. Just a thought - so his mom couldn't get in there and clean the place before they returned home, or perhaps the producers told her not to - or to make it a dump? Nah, they wouldn't do that.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

Camille wants "swag" 🥴 from Thomas when she is square and one dimensional too.  She wants a stylish and smooth guy while she wears matronly crew neck pajama sets indoors and outdoors.  These girls are too picky.  If they wanted more attractive guys, they should've toughed it out on the dating apps and leveled up their own looks. Loofy the dog will get more action with pillows than any of these people will get with their spouses. 

Edited December 4 by Hip-to-be-Square

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I will have to (maybe) watch it later. I saw bits and pieces last night and thought that both of the experts looked awful. They looked wan and weary. All I remember seeing is Michelle coming up with a list of things that SHE wants to do and they can do them together.  I saw a little of her on Afterparty and it seemed like she was getting praise for trying her best. I think maybe KNP was pushing her a little to own some her issues, but I am not seeing any growth on her part at all. And, I saw a clip of David's "apartment." Michelle was right - it is a dump in his parents' basement. Just a thought - so his mom couldn't get in there and clean the place before they returned home, or perhaps the producers told her not to - or to make it a dump? Nah, they wouldn't do that.

Michelle coming up with a list of date ideas comes off much better in the context of the episode and I have to admit, I liked a lot of her ideas. 

The thing with David - and it’s not a bad thing - is that he is pretty unapologetically himself. Sure his mom could have cleaned but he would have walked in with Michelle and said “oh! This is great. My mom must have cleaned because this isn’t how I left it!).” So then Michelle would have known (and been put off by) David’s mom cleans for him.

I have seen really nice studio apartments in basements of single family homes and this just… wasn’t it. Even if David was living in someone else’s basement, or when he lived above the bar or whatever, Michelle would have an issue with his frat boy decorating and lifestyle (he basically comes home for keg stands and hookups). I can’t say I blame her; I would hope for more of a grownup lifestyle too by age 36. I think the experts were really trying to convince Michelle that they see something in David that she doesn’t see (and I’m not sure I see it either). He may be saying that he is at home to save money and maybe he even is saving some money, but I don’t think he has a specific plan or even particularly specific intent. I think it was easy to move home and it’s easy to stay there and he does. I don’t think that makes him a bad person. It just makes him not a good match for Michelle (or for me). I say this as someone who, in my 29’s, fell hard for a guy in his early 30’s living with his mom. The difference was that he had a really solid reason for doing so and a concrete plan for moving out, which he did within a year.

KKP did raise an interesting point on AfterParty. Karla is basically homeless at this point and no one has even blinked at that. Yet Michelle can’t see anything else about David besides him living in his parent’s basement, where he does pay at least a nominal rent. I wonder if there is more to Karla’s story beside the timing of her lease ending, coincidentally, right before her wedding but I also wonder if the responses to the two situations are also at least somewhat based in cultural and gender norms?

Edited December 4 by Elizzikra

[Alexander Pope]

I agree with everyone that Camille really needs to stop negging Thomas.  She is not all that. She seems very bland to me, she dresses schlumpily, and she needs a good bra.

Juan at the Afterparty seemed extremely into himself to me.  Nothing phases him, nothing bothers him--Carla is the only one who gets bothered.  He is like teflon and his arrogant brand of "chill" would drive me crazy if I were Carla.  it's like he really doesn't care.

 

 

[Jodyj]

I don't care where David lived. There I said it. Where he lived is not where they would live as a married couple. All I found out from the visit was he is a bit of a slob and lived like a single man. She is still a bitch and isn't bothering to even give him a chance because she thinks she is better than him. The thing is he is honest. If she gave him a chance he would dote on her. When he said her apartment was simple I understood what he was saying. She did not have a over the top don't sit on the furniture type of home. She tried to make it a home. It was nice and it was simple. The fact that she took that as a negative is on her. She will be the end of this marriage. And really the producers/experts should have had this couple skip the home visits and maybe they might have tried. She was going to with the list of things to do but that home visit probably killed that. 

Karla needs to chill out. For someone who is a go with the flow type of person as she keeps saying she sure is not go with the flow. Imagine finding out the woman you married expects you to support her. Doesn't have another place to live but your house and wants to change your entire apartment to suit her. She basically just started saying things like this rug has to go. There is a nicer way to go about changing things in someone else's house. Ask. For all she knew that rug came from his great grandfather. Seriously. And she wants him to stop being so happy. What a weird thing to want. Juan is not going to fit her world and honestly I don't think he wants to. 

Camille needs to stop comparing him to her ex's. They are ex's for a reason. You may be attracted to your mythical swag you can't even describe but look where you were. Single and going on a reality show to find a husband. I felt like he entered this marriage for the wrong reasons. "because he felt like he had to" but I think that he is actually wanting to give it a chance. And Camille needs to dress better herself before telling someone else to dress better. 

Alan seems like a wonderful catch. But Madison is going to throw it all in the garbage because she is looking for a bad boy pretty man. And who the hell on their first night in their new apartment with their new spouse goes out and doesn't come home. She is a bit of a bitch for that as well. I think Alan will start to resent her. 

Emem and spouse are pretending. They have to be. They just pet each other with words they don't mean. And those eyelashes have got to go. When you can't even open your eyes you have gone too long with the lashes. I don't think he is into her at all. 

[Empress1]

14 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I have seen really nice studio apartments in basements of single family homes and this just… wasn’t it. Even if David was living in someone else’s basement, or when he lived above the bar or whatever, Michelle would have an issue with his frat boy decorating and lifestyle (he basically comes home for keg stands and hookups). I can’t say I blame her; I would hope for more of a grownup lifestyle too by age 36.

Yeah, that just isn’t a nice place. I’d be put off too, frankly. He basically said he only has women over to sleep with them, which is a turn-off.

Ikechi talked about how meager his place was, but it really wasn’t. Decent size, nice views, and he has some expensive stuff. Instruments and Pelotons aren’t cheap. I’m sure Emem outearns him (nurse practitioners make good money and it seems like she owns her practice), but he seems to be doing fine.

Juan’s decor was pretty bad. The drywall cart TV stand was not it. Nice light in the place though (my place has lots of natural light, which is one of the things I like most). What’s fishy about Karla (who I really can’t stand) is that she would have had to give a couple of months’ notice that she wasn’t renewing. Maybe she knew she’d been picked by then.

9 hours ago, Jodyj said:

Juan is not going to fit her world and honestly I don't think he wants to. 

I suspect Juan is chill about Karla because he knows she’s not it. Like “I’ll see this through, but we’re not going to know each other in a few weeks.”

Loved Allen’s kitchen minus the electric stove, which maybe can’t be helped.

[sara416]

David has lived by himself in an apartment before, correct? He has not always lived with his parents. I don't know if anyone else has ever moved an entire home full of stuff, no matter how small, into a new and different temporary place, but it sucks. I can give him some grace as he intends this to be temporary, so he isn't working to make this a true home. I do have some issues with the style of stuff though. I'm sure it's snobby, but if I walked into and actual apartment that was decorated like that by someone in their mid 30s, I would also be turned off. His basement looked a lot like the apartments guys I knew had in their early 20s just out of college. 

[atomic]

23 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Camille wants "swag" 🥴 from Thomas when she is square and one dimensional too.  She wants a stylish and smooth guy while she wears matronly crew neck pajama sets indoors and outdoors.

I have not completely written off Camille yet, but her so-called "swaggy-meter" is clearly broken when it comes to her own fashion sense...

[Hip-to-be-Square]

2 minutes ago, atomic said:

I have not completely written off Camille yet, but her so-called "swaggy-meter" is clearly broken when it comes to her own fashion sense...

     Excellent post- thank you for including screen shots of her outfits 😄🙌! These are straight up pajama sets.  I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them to bed, at home, with a man or on camera.  I bet she's wearing a Hanes sports bra under each one 🥴.  

     Would she honestly dress like this in front of someone she is genuinely attracted to? I hope not. That purple nightgown is her idea of trying? On her honeymoon?! No, no, no 😣!!!  That's a colonoscopy nightgown, Camille! She needs some lingerie sets, nice fitting bras, jeans and cute tops. 

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, sara416 said:

David has lived by himself in an apartment before, correct? He has not always lived with his parents. I don't know if anyone else has ever moved an entire home full of stuff, no matter how small, into a new and different temporary place, but it sucks. I can give him some grace as he intends this to be temporary, so he isn't working to make this a true home. I do have some issues with the style of stuff though. I'm sure it's snobby, but if I walked into and actual apartment that was decorated like that by someone in their mid 30s, I would also be turned off. His basement looked a lot like the apartments guys I knew had in their early 20s just out of college. 

I can't follow his housing backstory. He said something about owning a bar but it wasn't clear to me whether bar was a business and he lived above it or he was trying to renovate the bar into a home. In any event, at some point he sold the bar (I think) and moved back with his parents. It's not clear how long ago that was or what his timeline is to move out; nor have we heard where he lived before that. 

Did we ever see Madison's apartment/home? I remember Allen's but I don't remember hers.

[Retired at last]

I have been watching the recording, but I still dislike Michelle. She is all about herself. That's all. I hope David doesn't just get into the mode of doing whatever he thinks she wants. He will never win. Even when she brought that list, her first thought was, "Look at me trying!" Like she wants a medal. The experts were way too easy on her, and we didn't see them even talk to David.

Madison is doing a good job of acting like she is interested, but she's not. Not when she spends the night out and at her apartment with her girls. This is the same conversation they had with the not-ready-for-marriage Virginia, when they had to insist that she live like a married woman, not a party girl. She was several years younger and WAS a party girl. Madison is still partying and the fact that on her first night home from her honeymoon, she went out for dinner "and drinks" with her friends and spent the night at her apartment. She is NOT ready for marriage - at least to Allen. He seems way too kind to her. And her braid was ridiculous and not cute or sexy.

Juan and Karla are not jiving at all. She still wants to be taken care of, and he isn't having that.

They are all using the "safe space"excuse for being bitches (Michelle, Madison, Karla, Camille so far). And Emam is not interested or attracted to Ikechi at all. I don't blame her, but she pretends that all is good when her face does not reflect that.

The experts keep saying, you look great together, you have a great foundation, etc. Nope.

[Crashcourse]

47 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

And Emam is not interested or attracted to Ikechi at all.

And I don't think Ikechi is attracted to Emem either.

[Chatty Cake]

I wish these experts would intervene when they see a couple like Michelle and David. She’s never going to be into him no matter how many bonding activities they do.  David seems to be trying to stay positive or is he? Was he calling  her apartment simple to irritate her knowing that she wouldn’t react on camera? 
Davids apartment was a bit sad for a 36 year old but if she had feelings for him it wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker. Michelle was quick to ask about the laundry when she saw his parents washer and dryer.

Juans apartment needs some shelves as well as a tv stand. What his apartment doesn’t need is Karla.

I think Thomas is handsome and looks good. I don’t know what kind of swag Camille is foolishly mentioning considering her unflattering clothing choices.

Emem has a lovely place and Ikechi couldn’t handle it. He doesn’t seem to like anything about her. I’m not sure if she is attracted to him. I find their exchanges rather odd. Why was he poking fun at her karaoke machine? If he’s so into music, you’d think he’d be a little enthused about it.

Hello Allen! That’s some husband material. The nice place, the cooking and he seems kind. Too bad he’s been wasted on Elsa in Jean shorts. She appears like she’s trying but she’s not. 

 

 

 

 

[Blissfool]

Meager episode 

[SummerDreams]

I have heard that this season was shot together with season 17, so it's like maybe 2 years ago now I think.

If I were David i'd be scared to be arond Michelle to be honest. She seems like she has a knife ready at all times to stab him a million times. And I know that David knows they have no future by now and the most of his behavior is acting but still, he seems like a chill and easygoing guy. To be honest, I am more like Michelle, control freak and uptight, and I find guys like David annoying, but I know he comes out as the better person in this because at least he is polite and mindful at all times.

[starlightlost]

18 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Elsa in Jean shorts

🤣 Perfect description 

 

I feel like Allen is ultimate husband material. Attractive enough, smart, good job, handy with tools. He kind of reminds me of I think his name was Bobby on one of the Texas seasons. He was so sweet.

[Elizzikra]

5 hours ago, starlightlost said:

🤣 Perfect description 

 

I feel like Allen is ultimate husband material. Attractive enough, smart, good job, handy with tools. He kind of reminds me of I think his name was Bobby on one of the Texas seasons. He was so sweet.

I didn't watch that season but I remember Bobby. He also reminds me of North Carolina "Double Oven" Greg, who married Deonna. I believe they are still together. I loved them. 

[SummerDreams]

So Karla and Juan's dynamic, if we assume what they say is real, is the dynamic me and my husband used to have at the start of our relationship and sometimes we still do; he used to forget things I thought were important, or he would make a joke while I was expecting him to be serious at that moment, or he would say something that I'd find hurtful while he meant it totally innocently and so on. After discussing it for hours and hours, the result from his side was "when I do something that you find hurtful or bad, just assume that I'm stupid and that I wasn't meaning to hurt you". And this thought has saved us from many fights along the years. It's something that we women should have in mind, that men act without thinking sometimes and that they just forget and don't think thorougly about things. Not that this is an excuse for everything, but this mindset can help the women also take things easier and not assume the worst every time. Sometimes when you ask a man "why did you say that?" he just replies "no idea, it just came to mind and I said it". This is what happened here with Karla and Juan, he was describing the binding moment he had with David and he exaggerated his feelings, hurting Karla in the process.

Could someone please explain what "swag" means? I don't really understand what Camille means when she complains about it.

On 12/4/2024 at 3:57 PM, seacliffsal said:

He should be grateful that if they stayed married he would have a nice place to live...but, they won't stay married and he actually already has a nice apartment (not a spoiler, I just don't think he's there to be married, I think he's there to become 'famous...').

What do you mean? According to his family he is already famous, women are all over him all the time, didn't you know? 😉

[sauce62]

I think by "swag" Camille means cockiness/confidence/ a touch of arrogance. Tom is kind of shy/passive/lurpy. Mind you, he seems like a perfectly nice guy but not super "take charge" or full of himself. I hope she can see past the male "image" she has in her mind to the kind person before her. It's fascinating to me to see how the participants have their checklists of expectations from their partners as if they are accessories, not people.

[SummerDreams]

32 minutes ago, sauce62 said:

It's fascinating to me to see how the participants have their checklists of expectations from their partners as if they are accessories, not people.

In order for someone to get married they should have accepted in their minds that there is no ideal person and they have to compromise on some things that they used to like or need when they were younger. This is why marriage is called "settling down". These people who go on this show have not gone through this phase yet that's why they expect that they will find someone who is exactly how they imagine them and they are obviously not ready to compromise.

[atomic]

Camille probably would have been initially happy with someone like Olajuwon from Boston -- presents more outwardly "urban" and more of an alpha male personality. Of course it would have never worked because Olajuwon is a misogynistic asshole of the highest order. 

I reserved judgment on Camille last week because we did not hear her actually express that Thomas isn't "black enough" for her. More like she's used to dating guys with different life experiences and upbringing than Thomas and was keeping an open mind while working through it. 

However, there was no excusing what she said this week to her sister. She said felt like she was in an "interracial relationship", essentially saying she doesn't consider Thomas to be a true black man. That was so mean of her to call his blackness into question like that and I hope she has apologized to him whether they are still together or not. He was very visibly hurt by that on the After Party and expressed himself very well on how offensive he considered it to be.

Edited December 7 by atomic

[Starlight925]

Allen seems like a great guy and a great catch once their divorce is announced (I know no spoilers, but I cannot imagine a "yes").  His DM's will be full.

But dude needs to get his dog under control.  That behavior is not cute.  Chewing up things, all the humping, biting on people's arms.  One chew-through of a visitor, or G-d forbid a visiting child, and the dog will be taken away.  Happened to my friend, when her "adorable dog" gnawed on a toddler until it broke skin.  Dog was removed when the parent called the police.

I'd be very turned off by David's place too, but two things can be true:  David can live like a 17 year-old boy AND Michelle can be a beyotch.  Why he can't admit that his place is not great, and why she can't be a civil, nice person, is beyond me.

Ikechi wants us all to follow him to blow up his social media following as the next great R&B artist.  90% of what he showed in his apartment was musical in nature, then he had to show us his mad bass-strumming skills.  Sounded more like a 5th grader on Day one of lessons.

 

 

[Jeanne222]

David's apartment...noooo.  I kept waiting for à big spider to go scurrying by!

What kind of shift work does he do?

Michelle wanted an equal.  She got a frat boy living in moms basement.  David's a really nice guy just not for Michelle.

So do we blame the participants or the experts for the bad matches?  

[SummerDreams]

47 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

David's apartment...noooo.  I kept waiting for à big spider to go scurrying by!

What kind of shift work does he do?

Michelle wanted an equal.  She got a frat boy living in moms basement.  David's a really nice guy just not for Michelle.

So do we blame the participants or the experts for the bad matches?  

Why do we judge David from the last 8 months of his life? At least he used to live with a woman, something Michelle has never done. He is not less equal because he doesn't have a fancy house...

[JenE4]

1 hour ago, SummerDreams said:

Why do we judge David from the last 8 months of his life? At least he used to live with a woman, something Michelle has never done. He is not less equal because he doesn't have a fancy house...

I don’t think anyone is questioning David’s humanity. I think when someone says they’re looking for “an equal” they mean that they have similar values, goals, outlooks, and behaviors, including financial security/methodology and ambition, etc. I think Michelle was really taken aback that David said at least 4 times on camera that her apartment is “simple” and they live the “same” as each other. Now, maybe in measurable square footage their living space is equitable, but even just aesthetically, let alone whom he’s paying rent to, I don’t think most people would say they live the “same” or that Michelle’s home was “simple” compared to his. I mean, yeah, she doesn’t have a luxury apartment like Emem, but her home is more put together and appropriate for an almost 40-year-old. I think if David didn’t have the kegerator and other assorted junk closing in on them and maybe carved out an area for a couch and at least tried to make it seem homey, Michelle wouldn’t have been so turned off. But I don’t blame her for being more turned off after seeing it and not only were her worst fears confirmed, but David had the audacity to “neg” her by calling her home simple in attempts to make his seem better. (Though the poor guy has dealt with being insulted since day 1, so I really can’t blame him for employing some passive-aggressive backhanded compliments, lol.) All that being said, at least he didn’t steal a Home Depot cart to use as a TV stand!! What the hell, Juan?!

Edited December 8 by JenE4

[Retired at last]

I am not sure that when David said that Michelle's place was "simple," he meant it as an insult. I think he meant it was uncluttered and clean. It didn't have a lot of stuff all over it, unlike his place. I could be wrong, but I think, at this point, nothing he could say would be OK with her.

[SummerDreams]

I think David was expecting a very luxurious home from Michelle and this wasn't it, so he was thinking out loud saying, yeah ok, it was just a simple home.

I'm not a person who notices luxurious or expensive stuff or judge people for them. In the contrary, it would be a red flag for me to meet a person who would show off their wealth. Not having a luxurious home or an expensive car doesn't mean someone has no goals in life.

[shok]

It's not just David's basement that would turn me off if I were in Michelle's situation, it's his general mien. He's slopping around in a wife beater shirt, his hair uncombed and untidy with an unruly beard that looks like it hasn't been trimmed or groomed in a very long time, and the way he sits slouched and lazy and looking like he can't be bothered to sit up straight to listen to her. He may well be a very nice guy but as a potential romantic mate, he would turn me right off. I would have no desire to get anywhere near him.

[kristen111]

Who would sleep next to a heating system in the basement?  Not me!  And he pays for that?  Even my husband said that big mop on his head is not flattering.  Looks like he came out of the jungle.  He’s good looking and a nice guy, but he’s ruining himself.  I’m not crazy about the beard, but just my opinion.  Madison’s hair looks like shit too.  She’s on tv.Dump the shorts and jogging outfits too.

[SummerDreams]

8 hours ago, shok said:

It's not just David's basement that would turn me off if I were in Michelle's situation, it's his general mien. He's slopping around in a wife beater shirt, his hair uncombed and untidy with an unruly beard that looks like it hasn't been trimmed or groomed in a very long time, and the way he sits slouched and lazy and looking like he can't be bothered to sit up straight to listen to her. He may well be a very nice guy but as a potential romantic mate, he would turn me right off. I would have no desire to get anywhere near him.

Thing is, Michelle was attracted to him when she first met him at the wedding and right before he told her he lived in his parents' basement and he smoked. She instantly lost interest in him. If he had told her that he is very rich, he is a CEO of a big company, he lives in a villa and he travels with his private jet, she would be game. She is shallow, lets face it. Not that David is a catch by any means, but he is not as horrible as Michelle thinks.

 

[Elizzikra]

45 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Who would sleep next to a heating system in the basement?  Not me!  And he pays for that? 

Why? Because it’s hot or ugly to look at or loud? I’ve never slept next to ours but was wondering if there is a particular objection to the heating system beyond just “it’s too basement-y.” 

I don’t think that Michelle needs David to be a CEO living in a villa and making millions to have maintained an attraction to him. I think it’s the “living with parents” thing in a way that makes his lifestyle too similar to that of a college boy. If he had been in an apartment with a roommate that would have been an improvement. I don’t know; he’d probably still have his kegerator and some flags or posters on the walls  and she would be turned off by that, but at least he wouldn’t have been ten feet from mom and dad all the time.

[JenE4]

2 hours ago, SummerDreams said:

Thing is, Michelle was attracted to him when she first met him at the wedding and right before he told her he lived in his parents' basement and he smoked. She instantly lost interest in him. If he had told her that he is very rich, he is a CEO of a big company, he lives in a villa and he travels with his private jet, she would be game. She is shallow, lets face it. Not that David is a catch by any means, but he is not as horrible as Michelle thinks.

 

I think Shock’s impression of David’s slovenly look is accurate. This is how he looked at the wedding in a nice blue tux and hair fully pulled back:

https://www.mylifetime.com/shows/married-at-first-sight/cast/david-michelle

i would have also thought he was attractive enough walking down the aisle, but once the side/front ponytail and cutoff shirts came out, oh, no! There’s also a wide range between living amongst junk in your parents’ basement and flying on a private jet. Though, point well-taken that if he was a tech CEO in a hoodie a la Mark Zuckerberg, she might overlook the hair/clothes…but then he wouldn't be living in a basement. Maybe she could accept one or the other (sloppy looks or hovel), but both would be a lot for many people to overlook when you otherwise don’t have any type of emotional connection yet. You need something attractive about a stranger to want to continue to get to know them. She doesn’t see anything appealing about him yet. She’s hanging in there for the show. But if this guy showed up on a blind date with his 80s Valley Girl hair and ripped shirt and said I live in my parents’ basement, Michelle would not be the only woman who would refuse a second date, so I’m not about to brand her shallow or a gold-digger or whatever. 

[princelina]

On 12/8/2024 at 7:57 AM, Jeanne222 said:

So do we blame the participants or the experts for the bad matches?  

I blame the "experts" for the bad matches, and many participants for not actually being open to "the process" the second they find a flaw.

[Jeanne222]

14 hours ago, princelina said:

I blame the "experts" for the bad matches, and many participants for not actually being open to "the process" the second they find a flaw.

They matched an 'uptown girl' with a slow to participate nice guy!

 

[Jeanne222]

Instead of this being a show about matching couples to find a spouse it should be a show about why all of these 30 something adults are still single!

Matching any of them is to 'dream the impossible dream'!

[Jeanne222]

On 12/8/2024 at 7:45 AM, SummerDreams said:

Why do we judge David from the last 8 months of his life? At least he used to live with a woman, something Michelle has never done. He is not less equal because he doesn't have a fancy house...

He is less equal because he lives in mom's basement!

Did he really think his appearance would appeal to any woman?  He looks like a caveman!

[SummerDreams]

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

He is less equal because he lives in mom's basement!

Did he really think his appearance would appeal to any woman?  He looks like a caveman!

Well this is your personal opinion. I'm sure many women disagree and don't mind him living temporarilly in his mom's basement nor his appearance.

[Elizzikra]

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

 

Did he really think his appearance would appeal to any woman? 

There are definitely women who find him attractive (though I’m not one of them). More importantly than me or a hypothetical population of women with homogeneous descriptions of attractiveness, Michelle described someone like David when asked what she found attractive. I think she did find him physically attractive at the wedding. If they had never spoken, they might still get along better.

[LakeGal]

David living in the basement went downhill for me.  It is not an apartment.  He does not have a living room.  He shares the laundry room with his parents.  He did not even clean before Michelle came to see it.  She saw a living space of a college student, not a husband.  

[Crashcourse]

Even if he was living there to save money, he could have at least cleaned the place up--and himself.

[Retired at last]

Or, his mother could have cleaned it before they got home.