S11.E09 Kiss Kiss, Revenge Bang

[Gharlane]

Quote

Schwartz makes a startling revelation to Lala about a past hookup that sends Katie spiraling. James hosts a DJ night at Hotel Ziggy, but when Schwartz brings non-girlfriend Jo, the other girls give her the cold shoulder. Ariana and Katie encounter new issues in opening their sandwich shop. Brock drops a bombshell about a more recent liaison that shocks the entire group.

• So it appears I was right about it being Schemer that Shwartz "made out with" in Vegas circa 2013. I was more annoyed with the game of telephone than the actual deed. 
• Go away, Billie Lee, and quit setting Sandoval up with your famewhore friends.
• Arianna, Katie, and LaLa looked gross at Hotel Ziggy. In Katie and Arrianna's case, it reflected their inner selves. Why the hell are these girls being mean to Jo? BTW, Schemer, Jo didn't do her own hair.
• At this point, I realized I had more important things to do, like book a flight to a funeral next month. 
• While on the phone, I noticed Katie and Arrianna being rude to Shwartz and Sandoval, respectively, then Brock tell Shwartz that Katie banged his friend who was on the show for one season. Wow, when did LaLa become the voice of reason?

Next week, blah blah blah...

[bosawks]

People are now leaving events crying because others are bitchily commenting over and over about why they’re wearing a hat.

How have we come to this?

 

[ZettaK]

I guess production forced Ariana (and Katie) to go to parties/events where Sandoval would be present. 

Lala never had sober sex, and she is shocked others do? 

James shouldn't be choosing what Ally wears. 

There were almost no people at James' djing (is this a word?) at Ziggy, except for the cast, and a few Bravo extras. It could be early though- that was a pool bar. 

It was not Jo's responsibility to babysit Sandoval and Rachel.

Bravo zoomed on Sandoval's lightning bolt necklace at the Ziggy Hotel.

Edited March 27 by ZettaK

[bosawks]

I don’t believe Jo and Schwartz hooked up simply because I can’t fathom them being focused and on task enough to do so.

[choclatechip45]

Lala needs to get off her high horse!

I can't stand Jo comes off super fake. 

[ZettaK]

I always thought Max was creepy. So, Katie doesn't want Schwartz to hook up with anybody from their friend group, but this doesn't apply to her.

Scheana is a huge gossip (and a stalker?) if she tracks the location of 56 people on her phone. 

[Kiki777]

While I side-eye Ariana for not moving, I kinda understood that she was still angry at her ex and didn’t want him to ‘win’ the house.  However, now that he is being irresponsible (accidentally on purpose?) with Mya enough for her to end up in urgent care, I am seriously judging Ariana for not getting herself and her pets out of that house.

[ZettaK]

54 minutes ago, Kiki777 said:

While I side-eye Ariana for not moving, I kinda understood that she was still angry at her ex and didn’t want him to ‘win’ the house.  However, now that he is being irresponsible (accidentally on purpose?) with Mya enough for her to end up in urgent care, I am seriously judging Ariana for not getting herself and her pets out of that house.

It seems that Mya had similar accidents before, when the couple was together. But yes, if Ariana thinks Sandoval is irresponsible, she should move, and take the dog and cat with her. It seems she travels a lot, as well, and I'm not sure where the cat, and dog are when she is absent. 

[Marley]

Sandoval is a piece of shit he prob doesn’t give a shit about Mya. If a dog is getting into something then you have to put stuff away. I hope Ariana now has the dogs at her new house and away from him. If that happened to my dog because some dbag I’d flip the fuck out. Poor Mya.

The sandwich shop is never opening lol. Let’s just move on.

Ken doesn’t seem like he’s doing the best, I hope he’s alright.

Jo is annoying. She just seems very try hard to me.

Brock is annoying. Scheana knew what she was doing with the location stuff tho just own it.

Max is gross tho I don’t wanna hear about him again. He was such a mistake of a cast member. Who knew he was Schwartz best friend? Sounds like a shit best friend but I’m sure Schwartz won’t get mad at him.

[dancingdreamer]

Katie can dish it out, but she can't  take it. A kiss 10 years ago? Get over yourself  Katie.

I'm glad Sandoval  isn't  drinking, I think he went to fix the AC and the dog ran in there. I've shut my girl in the basement,  she's like lightning  going down there, and I've shut the door on her. The dog sounds  like she's  eaten crazy stuff before, so it  might be an idea to put those things  way out of her reach. 

I don't  think Ariana  wants to move, it would be pretty final. I didn't  like her dress( great body  though) or those weird sparkly things Katie wore.

Scheana  was mad at Brock because  he said something  before she could. Why does she keep  track of everyone though, I find that creepy.

The same sandwiches  as last time, they haven't  got far, and who is the woman making  and talking  about them.?

Edited March 27 by dancingdreamer

[hoodooznoodooz]

There is now no doubt in my mind that Charlotte died due to Sandoval’s negligence; he probably didn’t administer her medication properly or at all.

[hoodooznoodooz]

There were photos of Something About Her circulating a few months ago. It looked very nice.

It didn’t impress me in this episode.

 

 

[hoodooznoodooz]

That breathing session was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen on Bravo.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Lala, don’t attend the sandwich tasting, if you are going to be so critical and dismissive. 
 

Although, I agree. If they have already tasted every sandwich- - but one was on a different bread last season- -this event was not necessary. But I would not discuss this in an interview! 
 

 

[hoodooznoodooz]

I don’t think Katie is being a hypocrite. Once he kissed Rachquel all bets were off.

[hoodooznoodooz]

James seems so nurturing with Ally. And seemed so nurturing with Rachquel.

 

But when he and Kristen were together, it seemed like she was taking care of him. 
 

Also, avocado toast with bananas? I prefer to keep it all savory.

[Gharlane]

9 hours ago, ZettaK said:

I guess production forced Ariana (and Katie) to go to parties/events where Sandoval would be present. 

Or making Sandoval just happen to drop by where they are. 🙄

9 hours ago, ZettaK said:

It was not Jo's responsibility to babysit Sandoval and Rachel.

Yeah, I didn't understand why Katie's panties were in an uproar about Jo being there, other than just to be a bitch and an excuse to bad-mouth Schwartz.

7 hours ago, dancingdreamer said:

Katie can dish it out, but she can't take it. A kiss 10 years ago? Get over yourself, Katie.

So, did Katie have "revenge sex" with Max or did people jump to conclusions based on where Schemer said people were located? I don't remember her particularly liking him when he was on the show.

3 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

That breathing session was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen on Bravo.

Is that what the orgasmic screaming and grunting was about?

 

Edited March 27 by Gharlane

[hoodooznoodooz]

I think that it would upset me, too, if I invited someone (Sloppy Jo) to Thanksgiving at my house, and then learned that she had vacationed with my significant other and his mistress. 

[Lassus]

Yeah, put me in the "hatred of Jo is bizarre" group.

Max is shitty tiresome douche, but fucking him was at least hopefully fun.  I just wish Katie could have done so without the whole thing seeming such a joyless plot device in retrospect.

If I somehow was being forced (or forcing myself) to live with my ex and my dog got poisoned, I'd make sure the partner knew they had better get a food taster going forward.

[snarts]

3 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I don’t think Katie is being a hypocrite. Once he kissed Rachquel all bets were off.

100% They agreed not to date amongst the friend group. Schwartz is the one who broke that agreement and now he knows what it feels like.

Oh, and Brock, hooking up with your EX-husband's friend AFTER the divorce is not the same as making out with your friend's CURRENT boyfriend. Nice try through, your wife is the very definition of a pick me girl. In fact, you'd better keep an eye on her around Sandoval...

Ooh, but here comes Lala cozying up to him!  It's embarrassing watching them grovel to him for attention and a storyline. Do we know for sure that he's not the sperm donor?

Edited March 27 by snarts

[Stiggs]

I really feel like they're working overtime to prop up Sandoval and demonize Ariana, and it's getting really hard to watch. I kept popping in and out because Sandoval just makes me sick. 

If I found out a "friend" had made out with my ex hub/boyfriend while I was with him, even if it was a decade+ ago I would have feelings. I wouldn't be devastated, but at the very least I'd be annoyed. I would also have feelings if just a few months after I was betrayed by my partner and one of my dearest friends that most of my "friends" would be doing their best to to sidle up to my cheating ex. 

Jo and Schwartz make a perfect couple and should just get married, move to Awkwardland USA and be done with it. Never have two people been so well matched. And Jo can try to be as innocent as she wants - she was complicit in Scandoval while pretending to be close to Ariana - I can see why Ariana wants nothing to do with her. 

Ariana should be able to leave her pets in her home when she is not there and expect them to be safe. I do not blame her for Sandoval being heartless. 

If Scheana were my friend and I found out she tracked me? We would not be friends anymore, lol. Is it because I'm old? Do the young kids do that? 

I didn't see Graham this ep and that's really the only reason why I'm here. 

Oh, and Lisa's reaction to SCHWARTY SLEPT WITH SCHEANA??? was so hilarious I could listen to it on a loop...

[Lassus]

2 minutes ago, snarts said:

100% They agreed not to date amongst the friend group. Schwartz is the one who broke that agreement and now he knows what it feels like.

I don't disagree with this, although I admit I always considered that to mean "people on the show".  If Katie, uh, fucks someone not on camera, did it make a sound count?  Or, um.  Well, you get the picture.

6 minutes ago, snarts said:

Oh, and Brock, hooking up with your EX-husband's friend AFTER the divorce is not the same as making out with your friend's CURRENT boyfriend.

No one should give a shit about this at this point, least of all Katie.  

[JenE4]

Was this the first time in a decade that Lala and Schwartz even had a conversation let alone a one-on-one filming?! Then when Lala also met up one-on-one with Sandy I realized girlfriend is just doing her part to stay on this show. At least she and Sandoval had some “history” of hating each other all these years that it almost made sense to have a big reconciliation talk. But Lala and Schwartz were like two coworkers from different departments who never go to the same meetings, but you’re aware that’s Chazz from Accounting happened to walk into the same juice bar and it’s like do I say hello or pretend I didn’t see him, but before you can decide Chazz walks up and starts in with the awkward small talk and now you have to pretend you care that Linda from Sales needed to get an emergency appendectomy.

[Carolina Girl]

8 hours ago, dancingdreamer said:

I don't  think Ariana  wants to move, it would be pretty final.

I think on another thread there was a link to an article where Ariana had purchased a home in the Hollywood Hills.  It's pretty nice, too.

 

1 hour ago, Stiggs said:

If Scheana were my friend and I found out she tracked me? We would not be friends anymore, lol. Is it because I'm old? Do the young kids do that? 

Well, join me here on the Medicare couch, honey - because if I found out someone was tracking me without my permission (OTHER than a family member making sure I was okay since I'm 70), I'd be down filing for a restraining order and asking the DA about pressing charges.

 

9 hours ago, Marley said:

Sounds like a shit best friend but I’m sure Schwartz won’t get mad at him.

Well, Schwartzie IS on record as saying he wouldn't mind if she did.  

Edited March 27 by Carolina Girl

[Katie W]

1 hour ago, snarts said:

Oh, and Brock, hooking up with your EX-husband's friend AFTER the divorce is not the same as making out with your friend's CURRENT boyfriend. Nice try through, your wife is the very definition of a pick me girl. In fact, you'd better keep an eye on her around Sandoval...

And Scheana was ENGAGED to Shay at this time too! Quite a bit different. 

[bosawks]

Since Sandoval is claiming to be off drugs and high on life it certainly looks like Brock and Schwartz were attempting to fill that gap in the market.....

[Lassus]

Wait, I'm confused.  Was the Katie/Max thing an accusation or did she confirm?

 

29 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

Well, join me here on the Medicare couch, honey - because if I found out someone was tracking me without my permission

"Permission" is kinda overselling it, though.  You choose to share your location on various social media and then not care who is following.  My wife follows her HS dance students who are too stupid to block their location, call in sick, and then go party.  They pay the price.

[oakville]

Sandoval was irresponsible to let Mya into Arianna's room & leave her there. She could have died from eating the takeout food. He should pay for the $6,000. vet bill.

[Gharlane]

2 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I think that it would upset me, too, if I invited someone (Sloppy Jo) to Thanksgiving at my house, and then learned that she had vacationed with my significant other and his mistress. 

I was confused by that. Why does Arianna think Jo knew about Sandoval's affair with Rachel? 🤔 I got the impression that she was just rationalizing her irrational hatred of Jo.

 

2 hours ago, snarts said:

100% They agreed not to date amongst the friend group. Schwartz is the one who broke that agreement and now he knows what it feels like.

I didn't get the impression that Schwartz was upset about the revelation. His reaction seemed like either "Yay! My friend got laid!" or "What are you talking about? You hate my friend!".

 

27 minutes ago, Lassus said:

Wait, I'm confused.  Was the Katie/Max thing an accusation or did she confirm?

Yeah, Katie neither confirmed nor denied it. I could almost see the gears in her head as she was calculating which response would upset Shwartz the most.

[Katie W]

2 hours ago, Gharlane said:

I was confused by that. Why does Arianna think Jo knew about Sandoval's affair with Rachel? 🤔 I got the impression that she was just rationalizing her irrational hatred of Jo.

There are pictures out there of Jo, Rachel and the Toms all together. After the affair came out some fans said they had seen them all together in Big Bear on what we know was a couples vacation. They were basically double dating. 
 

Edited cause I found out it was Big Bear; not Tahoe.

 

Edited March 27 by ksutton625

[politichick]

13 hours ago, Gharlane said:

• So it appears I was right about it being Schemer that Shwartz "made out with" in Vegas circa 2013. I was more annoyed with the game of telephone than the actual deed. 
• Go away, Billie Lee, and quit setting Sandoval up with your famewhore friends.
• Arianna, Katie, and LaLa looked gross at Hotel Ziggy. In Katie and Arrianna's case, it reflected their inner selves. Why the hell are these girls being mean to Jo? BTW, Schemer, Jo didn't do her own hair.
• At this point, I realized I had more important things to do, like book a flight to a funeral next month. 
• While on the phone, I noticed Katie and Arrianna being rude to Shwartz and Sandoval, respectively, then Brock tell Shwartz that Katie banged his friend who was on the show for one season. Wow, when did LaLa become the voice of reason?

Next week, blah blah blah...

Ariana doesn't like Jo because she supported and knew about Tom and Raquel while pretending to be her friend and enjoying Thanksgiving at her table.

[snarts]

[Carolina Girl]

2 hours ago, Lassus said:

Wait, I'm confused.  Was the Katie/Max thing an accusation or did she confirm?

 

"Permission" is kinda overselling it, though.  You choose to share your location on various social media and then not care who is following.  My wife follows her HS dance students who are too stupid to block their location, call in sick, and then go party.  They pay the price.

Now I'm confused.  If I'm on my cellphone someone can track me down?  I have to actively BLOCK my location?  

[tvfanatic13]

Why do they call Jo "Joseph"? 

[DrSparkles]

12 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

Now I'm confused.  If I'm on my cellphone someone can track me down?  I have to actively BLOCK my location?  

Not that I know of. The way I know how it works on my iPhone, is that I would have to go to an individual contact and scroll to the bottom of the info, and share my location, and then it gives you an option for one hour, until the end of day, or indefinitely. I don’t share my location with anyone indefinitely. And I only share it at all when I am on long ass road trips with my dog, and then I share it with people at my destination. That way, if something happens to me, they can hopefully find my body. 

[heatherchandler]

4 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Was this the first time in a decade that Lala and Schwartz even had a conversation let alone a one-on-one filming?! Then when Lala also met up one-on-one with Sandy I realized girlfriend is just doing her part to stay on this show. At least she and Sandoval had some “history” of hating each other all these years that it almost made sense to have a big reconciliation talk.

History of hating?  No, Sandoval (and Ariana) were the only ones nice to Lala for years!  They would invite her and Katie, Kristin or Stassi would be annoyed.  

[MaggieG]

Yeah I'm on Ariana's side with Jo. Didn't she say Rachel and Jo drove together to Big Bear? Jo and Schwartz totally knew what was going on.

Didn't Max also hook up with Kristen? I feel like that came out during the zoom reunion. 

Also, am I behind the times (I probably am) or is it totally normal to just share your location with everyone willy nilly? I'm divorced and when I was married, the only people that had my location where my husband and my mom. Now it's my mom and my brother. Why the heck would Scheana still have Max's location? Why would Max still want Scheana to have his location?? It's a little bizarre.

[Emmeline]

Why does everyone keep wondering why Ariana didn’t move out?  I would also ask why Sandoval didn’t pack his bags.

It seems as though Jo found out about the affair through Schwartz.  If Schwartz didn’t tell Ariana about the affair why would anyone think Jo would?  I didn’t like the way they are treating her, it’s cruel.

Edited March 27 by Emmeline

[Carolina Girl]

1 hour ago, MaggieG said:

Yeah I'm on Ariana's side with Jo. Didn't she say Rachel and Jo drove together to Big Bear? Jo and Schwartz totally knew what was going on.

Didn't Max also hook up with Kristen? I feel like that came out during the zoom reunion. 

Also, am I behind the times (I probably am) or is it totally normal to just share your location with everyone willy nilly? I'm divorced and when I was married, the only people that had my location where my husband and my mom. Now it's my mom and my brother. Why the heck would Scheana still have Max's location? Why would Max still want Scheana to have his location?? It's a little bizarre.

It find it very disturbing that she feels the need to track everyone.  God only knows what's going to happen to her once this show ends.  I have a feeling she'll end up divorced a second time and NONE of these people, including Ariana, will have any use for her.  

[mizhines]

Um, why was the new deckhand from last night’s Below Deck sitting next to Katie at SUR? Did I miss something?🤔

[hoodooznoodooz]

So Max had sex with Scheana, Dayna, Scheana’s Vegas doppelgänger, Kristen and Katie.

These are the women we know about.

[Kiki777]

And how does he get all these attractive women? He looks like a cartoon.

Jo was cringey and weird but it was still sad to see that some of the women who disliked her for covering up the affair… were more forgiving of Sandoval who actually HAD the affair 🙄 At least Ariana and Katie are not bending, which is why I find them the only tolerable humans on this show.

The dogs and cats? All awesome, even Scheana’s.

[snarts]

1 hour ago, mizhines said:

Um, why was the new deckhand from last night’s Below Deck sitting next to Katie at SUR? Did I miss something?🤔

THANK YOU! I saw the same and meant to see if it was indeed him...and confirmed.

[chick binewski]

1 hour ago, mizhines said:

Um, why was the new deckhand from last night’s Below Deck sitting next to Katie at SUR? Did I miss something?🤔

I think they all meet at upfronts. Season one Aleks had made a VPR appearance years ago with Kristen. And now they all have that ghastly Bravocon.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills watching this show. Jo is taking a page right out of Raquel's book - pretending to be the nice one and acting wide-eyed when no one accepts her. Scheana & Schwartz both enjoyed humiliating Katie through the years - keep in mind the Vegas incident was around the time Scheana started the false motorboating rumor - and now that they've outed a decade-old secret Scheana is trying to sell it as assault (when she's not busy acting like she didn't put Brock up to whatever nonsense he was trying to pull last night). The less said about Sandoval's faux-humble approach at Ariana to magnanimously offer her money he doesn't have, the better. 

Please note that all of the subjects above have absolutely nothing to do with Lala but that doesn't keep her from being on the wrong side of history on all of it.

My take on the entire show is the cast knows the Vanderpump Rules model is done - the real friendships are long gone and the Toms "brand" is no longer a positive for the restaurants involved. Sandoval, Scheana and Lala are looking to move to The Valley (and its one of several reasons Tom doesn't want to sell). 

[gwen747]

I foresee a big falling out (if it hasn't happened already) between Lala/Scheana and Ariana/Katie. 

Sounds like everyone is tired of dealing with Ariana and Katie and all their rules for friendship. 

[hatchetgirl]

Exactly - why didn't Tim move out?  Why is everyone hungry for Ariana to move?  And I'll say it again, you can't just move out in LA these days.  A 2 bedroom back house is $4,200 a month here!  And - why is everyone so in this business but Mauricio and Kyle can live together no problem?  They both can afford a couple more houses, so why are they still living together?  

Jo does seem sweet (and weird), but she reacted to the Scandoval very poorly.  I can't remember exactly what she posted but it was this weird "peace and love, everyone be happy happy" and I would have lost my shit over that bollocks too.  

Edited to add - yeah - I wouldn't be destroyed over my hubby kissing someone in 2013 if we were exes, but I'd definitely have a feeling about it.

When Ariana came into the Ziggy night, Tim wanted to choke over how good Ariana looked!!!  Stupid fuck face.

Edited March 27 by hatchetgirl

[Katie W]

29 minutes ago, hatchetgirl said:

Jo does seem sweet (and weird), but she reacted to the Scandoval very poorly.  I can't remember exactly what she posted but it was this weird "peace and love, everyone be happy happy" and I would have lost my shit over that bollocks too.  

Kristen says on the Aftershow that the night it all exploded when Ariana found out Jo texted in a group chat to Tom, Rachel and ARIANA that she loved them all and how hard this was for JO. Unbelievable. 

[TattleTeeny]

4 hours ago, Emmeline said:

Why does everyone keep wondering why Ariana didn’t move out?  I would also ask why Sandoval didn’t pack his bags.

 

Yup. He stepped out of the relationship, he can move out of the house. 

[heatherchandler]

2 hours ago, hatchetgirl said:

Exactly - why didn't Tim move out?  Why is everyone hungry for Ariana to move?  And I'll say it again, you can't just move out in LA these days.  A 2 bedroom back house is $4,200 a month here!  And - why is everyone so in this business but Mauricio and Kyle can live together no problem?  They both can afford a couple more houses, so why are they still living together?  

 

Kyle and Mauricio are cordial and act like adults.  Ariana is unable to be an adult and pretends Tom doesn’t exist.  

For someone who has gone on and on about mental health and depression, Ariana sure likes to treat people like crap.  So it’s only her depression that matters.. making a grown woman cry and laughing about it is ok.  Got it.

[TattleTeeny]

If I were the Ariana in the situation, I would definitely want to get away from the Tom ASAP, so I would probably move out. I would also move out if I were the Tom (I could not do that in my actual life though, because it's my place). 

If they are both paying the expenses, why should she have to leave when he was the one who decided that the life being collectively lived in that house was worthless to him? 

Also, while it's a bit crazy to have assistants running interference inside of a house, I don't see why she needs to talk to him outside of any absolute necessity.

Also also, I dislike Jo and for all I know she is a raging asshole. But this treatment of her makes me feel bad -- especially without any on-camera proof of assholery on her part. 

Edited March 28 by TattleTeeny