90 Day: The Last Resort

[Shrek]

Don't see a thread for this anywhere so I started one. Please forgive me if I messed up.

 

Doubtful it really is the "last" of anything but it is a resort.

[Medium]

Is it just me or does that resort look kinda janky?  I mean, it looks like a place I would stay, and that's a low bar.  The rooms aren't anything special and the beach and rocky water look pretty terrible.  The staff seem nice.

I don't think any of the couples should be together.  Molly was very crabby, Angela is a horrible person, Jovi is an arrogant jerk, Asuelu is dumb as a box of rocks, Big Ed...the list is long.

It is pretty good entertainment, though.

 

[suzeecat]

23 minutes ago, Medium said:

Is it just me or does that resort look kinda janky?  I mean, it looks like a place I would stay, and that's a low bar.  The rooms aren't anything special and the beach and rocky water look pretty terrible.  The staff seem nice.

I don't think any of the couples should be together.  Molly was very crabby, Angela is a horrible person, Jovi is an arrogant jerk, Asuelu is dumb as a box of rocks, Big Ed...the list is long.

It is pretty good entertainment, though.

 

I think you summed it up perfectly!

[Kid]

How much more of Angela's classless act do we have to take?

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Medium said:

Is it just me or does that resort look kinda janky?  I mean, it looks like a place I would stay, and that's a low bar.  The rooms aren't anything special and the beach and rocky water look pretty terrible.  The staff seem nice.

I don't think any of the couples should be together.  Molly was very crabby, Angela is a horrible person, Jovi is an arrogant jerk, Asuelu is dumb as a box of rocks, Big Ed...the list is long.

It is pretty good entertainment, though.

 

I’m wondering who these people are who were willing to hook up with Asuelu and Kalani.  They are both very unappealing.

[peacockblue]

Kalani started all of the  trouble by threatening him with a separation 

[Shrek]

18 hours ago, Medium said:

Is it just me or does that resort look kinda janky?  I mean, it looks like a place I would stay, and that's a low bar.  The rooms aren't anything special and the beach and rocky water look pretty terrible.  The staff seem nice.

 

The resort itself reminded me a little of the "Prora Resort" which isn't a good look for anywhere, and even less so when you know its history. 

More info here https://historyofyesterday.com/prora-the-nazi-holiday-resort/ if anyone is interested.

 

 

 

[bichonblitz]

Angela still holding on to those divorce papers and she's ready to sign. She's been saying that for 2 yrs.

Big Ed and whatshername look rough. I thought they broke up at the last reunion. Now they are holding hands and won't let go of each other. 

Molly had a falling out with her best friend and business partner. It had something to do with Kelly. Now they are trying to rekindle? What a mess. 

Jovi and Yara. Yawn. 

Kalani went and got herself some D. Good for her. Infidelity wasn't their only problem. Asuelo was a jerk, wouldn't get a job or help with the kids and he let his family disrespect Kalani. She needs to keep walking. 

[Quof]

On 8/15/2023 at 10:43 AM, Shrek said:

Doubtful it really is the "last" of anything

my last nerve

[Kid]

Two comments about baby Huey and his wife. Who would want to have sex with him? And, if she keeps going,  her next reality show is going to be My 600 Pound  Life.  If she had a brain cell functioning, she would get as far away from him as she could.

Edited August 17, 2023 by Kid

[1011101010001]

18 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Angela still holding on to those divorce papers and she's ready to sign. She's been saying that for 2 yrs.

I’m no expert in international law but if they got married in Nigeria how does she get a divorce here lol?  Also she said it’s uncontested because he can’t contest it because he’s not here.  I don’t think that’s how it works.  Uncontested means agreed.

18 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Big Ed and whatshername look rough

Alcohol is basically poison and they chug it by the gallon.

1 hour ago, Kid said:

Two comments about baby Huey and his wife. Who would want to have sex with him? And, if she keeps going,  her next reality show is going to be My 600 Pound  Life.  If she had a brain cell functioning, she would get as far away from him as she could.

Every year she seems to gain another 100 or so.  I don’t know how her heart and ankles can take it.

[Meh]

Kalani must still be breast feeding those two big boys..otherwise why not leave them at home with her sister instead of the sitter joining her at the resort to care for them? Angela has seen Michael 2-3 times in person in 5 years?

[Quof]

1. So Kalani didn't have to share a bed with Asuelu, and 

2. So Kolini could get on tv. 

[HorrrGoodnight]

I thought these people already broke up anyway 🙄... well except for ole thumb sucking Jovi and Yara

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Quof said:

2. So Kolini could get on tv. 

It’s good for her OF.

[Craigcodybazhate]

8 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I’m no expert in international law but if they got married in Nigeria how does she get a divorce here lol?  Also she said it’s uncontested because he can’t contest it because he’s not here.  I don’t think that’s how it works.  Uncontested means agreed.

Alcohol is basically poison and they chug it by the gallon.

Every year she seems to gain another 100 or so.  I don’t know how her heart and ankles can take it.

I don’t know who you are talking about? 

2 hours ago, Meh said:

Kalani must still be breast feeding those two big boys..otherwise why not leave them at home with her sister instead of the sitter joining her at the resort to care for them? Angela has seen Michael 2-3 times in person in 5 years?

Because she wants to dish with her sister what a piece of shit Aswolo is. And just gives her an excuse to get away from Aswalo. We just need Aswalos mom saying give me the $1,000

On 8/15/2023 at 2:17 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I’m wondering who these people are who were willing to hook up with Asuelu and Kalani.  They are both very unappealing.

Damn your tough. 

[Craigcodybazhate]

On 8/15/2023 at 2:17 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I’m wondering who these people are who were willing to hook up with Asuelu and Kalani.  They are both very unappealing.

Damn your tough. 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Craigcodybazhate said:

Molly is a big Angry woman. What the fuck did Kelly do????? He’s watching reality Tv he’s trying to help her. 

Supposedly he hit Olivia at the bra store but Cynthia said it wasn’t true so Molly dropped her as well.

Edited August 18, 2023 by MrBuhBye

[anoninrva]

2 hours ago, Craigcodybazhate said:

I don’t know who you are talking about? 

Grangela and Michael.  I'm not watching the show, btw.  Just here for your comments.  Also, respectfully disagree about Kaylani.  Her sister, sure.  Neither seem pleasant, but at least the sister is pleasant to look at.

It does seem possible that Angela could get divorced in America but still be legally married in Nigeria if she doesn't consult a lawyer familiar with international law.  I'm not sure that that would ever matter unless she wanted another Nigerian husband, however.

[Craigcodybazhate]

14 hours ago, anoninrva said:

Grangela and Michael.  I'm not watching the show, btw.  Just here for your comments.  Also, respectfully disagree about Kaylani.  Her sister, sure.  Neither seem pleasant, but at least the sister is pleasant to look at.

It does seem possible that Angela could get divorced in America but still be legally married in Nigeria if she doesn't consult a lawyer familiar with international law.  I'm not sure that that would ever matter unless she wanted another Nigerian husband, however.

Kolini is hot. Kalani is a big girl. She’s not as big as she was when she first got on the show. I think having kids had a lot to do with it. Maybe pandemic. 
 

She just seems like a character who brings what  TLC likes. 

[Back Atcha]

On 8/15/2023 at 2:17 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I’m wondering who these people are who were willing to hook up with Asuelu and Kalani.  They are both very unappealing.

There are always people like Angela (Angela Before AND After)...in all age groups and genders.

[Kath94]

22 hours ago, Quof said:

1. So Kalani didn't have to share a bed with Asuelu, and 

2. So Kolini could get on tv. 

...and a free vacation.

[Scarlett45]

How are Kalani and Asuelu married 5yrs when they didn’t get married until after Oliver was born and he’s 4? They got married right after they conceived Kennedy which would make it closer to 4yrs. 
 

Their marriage is doomed. They only got married because they made the decision to have unprotected sex several times and have children together. Remember when Asuelu said condoms were for “slut people”, and he’s exposed his wife to an STI? Yeah no cut your losses. 
 

Im not a huge fan of anyone here, but I can say blue is a pretty color on Molly. 

[Craigcodybazhate]

Jovi is the perfect example and should write a book on how to fuck up a dime. 
 

how stupid can you be? You are married to a gorgeous woman and you a trying to bring another woman into the Bedroom. YARA is gorgeous. YARA is hot. I always take up for Jovi but he’s being an idiot with this one. 

[Fable]

I didn't watch this, but I did see a reaction video on YouTube, and two things really stood out to me.  First, Angela doesn't look any better for all of her surgeries, and in fact, to me, looks even worse.  Also, Liz, who used to be so pretty, looks like a shell of a person, both physically and emotionally.  

[magemaud]

Here’s the resort: https://www.islabellabeachresort.com/

[Cementhead]

5 minutes ago, Fable said:

Also, Liz, who used to be so pretty, looks like a shell of a person, both physically and emotionally.  

In general, I don't care about any of these fools because most of them are just garbage people but every once in a while someone will show up who makes me a bit uncomfortable to watch because it feels almost exploitative and Liz is one those people.  I feel like she is emotionally fragile and too vulnerable to be on a show like this but far be it for TLC to give a shit about that. 

[magemaud]

On 8/16/2023 at 7:16 PM, bichonblitz said:

Angela still holding on to those divorce papers and she's ready to sign. She's been saying that for 2 yrs

She dramatically announced that she was filing the divorce papers after the last Tell All but also said that didn’t mean she was going to sign them. 
Now she claims to have brought the papers with her and if she signs them Michael can’t do anything about it since he’s not there. 
 

Are we all on the edge of our seats to see what happens? 

[magemaud]

15 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

How are Kalani and Asuelu married 5yrs when they didn’t get married until after Oliver was born and he’s 4? They got married right after they conceived Kennedy which would make it closer to 4yrs. 

You're absolutely correct. Kalani is fudging on the details.

Here’s the timeline. 
Oliver was born January, 2018

Kalani and Asuelu married September, 2018

Kennedy was born May, 2019

LR filming January 2023 

Edited August 19, 2023 by magemaud

[1011101010001]

16 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

and he’s exposed his wife to an STI?

Apparently oral thrush is not contagious or considered an STD. https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/infections-and-poisoning/oral-thrush-in-adults 

[anoninrva]

12 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Apparently oral thrush is not contagious or considered an STD. https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/infections-and-poisoning/oral-thrush-in-adults 

Again, missing some context, but thrush is really common with breastfeeding.  Occam's razor here isn't hard to figure out..

[1011101010001]

4 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

Again, missing some context, but thrush is really common with breastfeeding.  Occam's razor here isn't hard to figure out..

It also says poor oral hygiene can cause it and from what we know about Asuelu I would not be the least surprised if that was the cause rather than kissing some Samoan tramp lol.

6 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

Again, missing some context, but thrush is really common with breastfeeding.  Occam's razor here isn't hard to figure out..

Kalani claimed that he kissed a woman in Samoa and that she knew because she saw the thrush on his tongue.  She also claimed a separate woman gave him a BJ.

[Scarlett45]

20 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Apparently oral thrush is not contagious or considered an STD. https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/infections-and-poisoning/oral-thrush-in-adults 

Thank you. 

[1011101010001]

It gets better. Asuelu gave her a hall pass to kiss another guy.  She did so, then had oral sex and intercourse with the guy.

[Polliwollidoodle]

8 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

It gets better. Asuelu gave her a hall pass to kiss another guy.  She did so, then had oral sex and intercourse with the guy.

AND the part that does not compute the most---------is that they freely discuss this and share it on the the teevee.

[1011101010001]

10 minutes ago, Polliwollidoodle said:

AND the part that does not compute the most---------is that they freely discuss this and share it on the the teevee.

I bet to be chosen for the show they had to spill what their issues were.  Without this they are pretty dull.

[Lurk]

On 8/15/2023 at 2:31 PM, Medium said:

Is it just me or does that resort look kinda janky?  I mean, it looks like a place I would stay, and that's a low bar.  The rooms aren't anything special and the beach and rocky water look pretty terrible.  The staff seem nice.

I don't think any of the couples should be together.  Molly was very crabby, Angela is a horrible person, Jovi is an arrogant jerk, Asuelu is dumb as a box of rocks, Big Ed...the list is long.

It is pretty good entertainment, though.

 

My first thought when they showed the resort from the air that it looks like a spot they did the honeymoons for Married At First Sight during the pandemic when they couldn't travel out of the country. The place they went to was in the Florida Keys and Myrla was going on and on about what a slum it was. I think the fact that it doesn't have the typical beach like you'd expect at a beach resort doesn't help it's "jankiness".

[magemaud]

13 hours ago, Lurk said:

My first thought when they showed the resort from the air that it looks like a spot they did the honeymoons for Married At First Sight during the pandemic when they couldn't travel out of the country. The place they went to was in the Florida Keys and Myrla was going on and on about what a slum it was. I think the fact that it doesn't have the typical beach like you'd expect at a beach resort doesn't help it's "jankiness".

You're right, it's the same resort: https://screenrant.com/married-first-sight-isla-bella-beach-resort-facts/#:~:text=Isla Bella Beach Resort welcomes,Sight couples for their honeymoon

[1011101010001]

13 hours ago, Lurk said:

My first thought when they showed the resort from the air that it looks like a spot they did the honeymoons for Married At First Sight during the pandemic when they couldn't travel out of the country. The place they went to was in the Florida Keys and Myrla was going on and on about what a slum it was. I think the fact that it doesn't have the typical beach like you'd expect at a beach resort doesn't help it's "jankiness".

I noticed that when one of them was in a car being driven to the resort they were passing a lot of decrepit businesses.

Also kinda funny the couples were oohing and ahhing about the resort when it looked average at best.  Most of them have nicer homes (Angela doesn’t lol).

[Meowwww]

Assholio said “people”, as in plural.  Who would sleep with him?  Gross.  He’s so…unintelligent.  Nothing attractive about that man-child.  And what a stupid mustache. 
I think Kalani is pretty.  Healthy shiny hair, great skin, pretty eyes. 

I bet Grangela burns those divorce papers with the lighter in her bra.  (The scene at the altar they keep showing).  We will see if I am right!

We died at “Small Ed”.  Jovi is another man-child.  Yara is really all that, he’s very lucky.   

Molly and the screeching.  I don’t know why these 2 are here, clearly they are over it. I feel bad for Kelly. 

 

[1011101010001]

It is hilarious that Liz talked Ed into buying a house in Arkansas and now may not go with him.  I think he sees himself as a very hip Californian with the faux photography career etc.  and likes to hit on all the beautiful California women.  

[John M]

Why do any of these people even want to be together? I don't know that I can even hate watch this, they are all so unappealing as couples.

 

edit: Just sitting this thought for a moment, let me explain...

I'm very much in love with my husband and very much attracted to him physically, but when you really boil down why I want to be with him, without question I think, let me take that back, I know, as a partnership, we are the best version of ourselves, we refer to our marriage as "Team Pet Name & Pet Name" and our all motto is "All things are possible through Pet Name & Pet Name". We aren't co-dependent and we joke that we are lucky we found each other because no one else would put up with our personality quirks (We are both extremely high-strung, high-anxiety and neat freaks bordering on legit OCD). We soften each others edges, we temper the worst parts of each others personalities, when we make a decision together on something major, I know that that decision is more thoughtful, better considered and prudent because we have each others perspective.

And I don't see that with any of these couples, they are in fact the worst versions of themselves with each other, they are angry, impulsive, weaponize the worst parts of each others personalities against each other. 

 

To quote Dennis Reynolds:

 

"This isn't will they or won't they?

This is I know they won't and I know I don't want them to."

 

Edited August 21, 2023 by John M

[StatisticalOutlier]

Here's a tripadvisor review from someone who stayed at that resort while they were filming, and was not happy with the experience:

https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g34347-d15018576-r876928883-Isla_Bella_Beach_Resort-Marathon_Florida_Keys_Florida.html

It ends with "we were told by staff this is not the first time this has happened" and now that we know they used it for MAFS honeymoons, whether the reviewer meant it wasn't the first time they'd filmed a reality show there, or if it wasn't the first time there were "F-bomb laced tirades" associated with a reality show being filmed there. 

Now that I've seen "this season on..." I wonder if the reviewer was witness to the fight between Angela (you just knew she'd be involved) and Liz and Ed.  It was right near some rooms, and a non-fighter said, "We have guests." 

On 8/20/2023 at 1:10 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I noticed that when one of them was in a car being driven to the resort they were passing a lot of decrepit businesses.

A lot of the Keys looks like that.  And almost none of the beaches are naturally sandy--the resorts truck sand in.  As did Key West for at least one public beach.

On 8/19/2023 at 1:27 PM, MrBuhBye said:

It gets better. Asuelu gave her a hall pass to kiss another guy.  She did so, then had oral sex and intercourse with the guy.

I loved this statement:  "As a therapist, I think a hall pass is a bad idea."  Such insight.

Also, to clarify--the progression was a kiss, then oral sex, and then intercourse.  I still have trouble wrapping my head around the shift in the order of things.  But I'm old.

But not too old to not notice Asuelu's appearing and disappearing mustache.  Maybe it just grows super fast because when he woke up on the day they were headed to Florida he had the mustache, but in the car on the way to either the airport or the resort he was clean shaven, but upon arrival at the resort he had a mustache again. 

And of course the talking heads are all clean shaven.  I'm thinking the producers don't have a very high opinion of the audience. 

 

[1011101010001]

21 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Also, to clarify--the progression was a kiss, then oral sex, and then intercourse.  I still have trouble wrapping my head around the shift in the order of things.  But I'm old.

Yeah that old saying was that hookers won’t kiss.

[Suzywriter]

On 8/19/2023 at 2:27 PM, MrBuhBye said:

It gets better. Asuelu gave her a hall pass to kiss another guy.  She did so, then had oral sex and intercourse with the guy.

And she has kept the affair going.

She screams and yells that it's Asuelu's fault that she's having an ongoing, emotionally involved affair. 

[1011101010001]

22 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

And of course the talking heads are all clean shaven.  I'm thinking the producers don't have a very high opinion of the audience. 

They may also figure most people look anywhere in the scene but his Mr. Potato Head face.

[sainte-chapelle]

Is this where we live chat?

[Suzywriter]

Just now, sainte-chapelle said:

Is this where we live chat?

Yes! HI!

[judylo]

I knew Angela would pick Jovi!

I hate these stupid exercises/challenges.

[Suzywriter]

Every time I look at Ed, I want to bat his head off of his shoulders like in T-Ball. 

Liz's neck is disappearing!!