S04.E19: Reunion Part 2

[TexasGal]

 

Airdate: 07.18.2023

[TexasGal]

Omg, Chase looking half asleep cradling his dog was the palate cleanser I needed after Gary being a 10 year old with the chips.  

[snarts]

This was a mess. A lot to unpack. 

Biggest disappointment: Glenn. I've officially lost my crush, he's giving me the ick. Blaming Daisy for not "pushing back harder" on Gary's flirting. That it made Colin uncomfortable. Why is Daisy at all responsible for Gary's behavior? Why doesn't  Glenn focus his disappointment Gary and his inability to control himself?? Fuck the 'boys will be boys' mentality. So disappointing.  

[Chalby]

As much as I love Colin, I'm very disappointed with how the exchange went between Daisy and him. I understand he felt the fool when he found out about Gary and Daisy, but I'm sure there's many women who were too embarrassed to admit they succumbed to Gary. But for Colin to start off by revealing information they had agreed to start fresh from was his effort to embarrass Daisy while letting us viewers know he had to get rid of her and her toxicity. Bottom line, he couldn't forgive her for Gary, and it bothered him constantly. I wish he had just been honest with her, and said that instead of trying to slut shame her publicly for behaviour they've all been exhibiting. I feel like a disappointed Mama.

[Chalby]

25 minutes ago, snarts said:

This was a mess. A lot to unpack. 

Biggest disappointment: Glenn. I've officially lost my crush, he's giving me the ick. Blaming Daisy for not "pushing back harder" on Gary's flirting. That it made Colin uncomfortable. Why is Daisy at all responsible for Gary's behavior? Why doesn't  Glenn focus his disappointment Gary and his inability to control himself?? Fuck the 'boys will be boys' mentality. So disappointing.  

I am so shocked. I totally agree with you, and I have mentioned before that I've never been personally able to be super aggressive with unwanted attention from males. Then to see all of these coworkers judging the woman for not stopping unwanted behavior, despite her asking to him stop it, without ruining what little friendship they have left. So what if Daisy kissed every man on board the boat the first night, who cares? She's a single woman. This upsets me so much because I thought these guys were more aware with what women put up with. It puts society back to the 60s.

Just the same way that Gary tried to slut-shame Mads, stating she was crawling into bed with him every night... But now insisting she said she regretted everything, when not once has she said that. He keeps putting words in her mouth that she never said. All she said, all along, was she did not want a deep dramatic relationship while working. And she was unapologetic for her behavior and so she should be. Gary is worse than any woman on a ship, And doesn't take no for an answer without pouting, and yet where's his condemnation?

Edited July 19, 2023 by Chalby

[linger]

Well that was some absolute crap. Daisy basically took an hour of abuse from Andy, Colin, Gary, and even freaking Glenn (who thinks somehow Daisy is responsible for controlling Gary’s behavior, or Colin’s feeling, or both of their egos, I suppose). Why does he get to broadcast his opinion anyway, Andy? And if he had to have one, it would have been awfully nice for him to say “I love all three of these people & it breaks my heart to see this happen. I hope one day they can find their way back to each other has friends. 

Bravo really does have a problem with misogyny, and I am just not here for it any more. I’ll stick to the forums to be entertained, since right now all I am is vaguely enraged. 

[Lamima]

Agree with all above. And freakin Andy was the worst. Asking Daisy if she was gaslighting Colin. WT actual F! If anyone was gaslighting it was Colin. Gah, to think he used to be a fave of mine. Not anymore. I have a feeling Daisy won't be coming back next season. And hey, Andy Cohen, get outa here with your misogyny. It's not a good look, man. 

[SHERMDOG]

What a shitshow this was!! Yelling over each other, etc!. Ugh.

And where were the tears Daisy was "shedding"!!?? Blech!! 

Thank GOD for Chases dog...haha.

And of course...Alex's face!!! Lol

Not sure if I will watch next season. 

[SHERMDOG]

I stand corrected. I saw a bit of moisture leaking! 

[SemiCharmedLife]

It seems that Mads out-Gary'd Gary this season.  She treated him the way he has been treating the other stews the last few seasons.  Just wanting him for sex and moving on to the next one when possible.  I'm glad Andy pointed out that he was getting a taste of his own medicine.  

I don't like Daisy being reduced to tears, but I also didn't find anything Colin said objectionable.  He was obviously bothered by what she said on WWHL and was trying to share his viewpoint.  He admitted shared culpability in their toxic relationship, though at times, he was obviously very bothered by her rebuttal.  I predict Daisy and Gary will mend fences in the near future.  Hopefully Colin will sail off into the tropical sunset with his new/old girlfriend; a good life is the best revenge.

[rur]

Among the bombshells dropped for me was that the Daisy-Colin romance had begun before filming for the show started and that Gary knew about it because Colin had told him.  That's not a particularly big deal in itself, except that it does prove that much of what we saw was set up by the producers. So, I'm a bit ticked off at the three of them for apparently not realizing how they had been used by the producers from the beginning. 

The Daisy attacks went on way too long, and I'd like to believe that on any reputable show the host would have moved on to other things. But Bravo likes it messy. 

Colin is nice eye candy, but he's fling material and not a long term prospect. His main interest is sailing, not romance. 

All that aside, Mads looked terrific!

[Earl Is Dead]

Unpopular opinion here, but I think Glenn blamed Daisy and Gary equally for their own "flirtatious" behaviors with his remark.  Once he knew Daisy was with Colin, Gary should have backed off with the aggressive flirting, and once she declared couplehood with Colin, Daisy shouldn't have reciprocated said flirting and been into it as she always has been.  Yet over and over again when we saw Gary and Daisy alone, they behaved as if there was no Colin factor.  Frankly the whole triangle ruined the season for me.  

That said, if it weren't for that triangle and drama I doubt we would have gotten this reunion at all.  As others have said, Andy looooooooooves this kind of sh*tshow and let it go on (and on and on!) for two hours.  (Plus my grid told me it continued even more on WWHL an hour later?  But I haven't watched that yet so I don't know if it's true).  As much as I felt at times Daisy was being ganged up on unfairly, she also didn't do herself any favors with her interrupting and screaming.  Gary eating chips.  Daisy walking off camera.  Gary walking off camera. Everyone else probably wondering why they were even there.  

As much as I have enjoyed the team of Gary/Colin/Daisy, I think for Season 5 we need a fresh start.  And a new boat.

54 minutes ago, rur said:

All that aside, Mads looked terrific!

She did - I kept thinking how she giving us Brigitte Bardot.  Because I'm old. 

Edited July 19, 2023 by Earl Is Dead

[MartyQui]

I think Daisy was drunk at the reunion…she didn’t come off well.  As far as the flirting with Gary goes, she never really said stop…she’d be smiling and laughing and telling him to stop.  If she really wanted it to stop, it’s easy enough to say, “Gary, stop it”.  Maybe not when they were both drunk, but the next morning, if she really valued her relationship with Colin, she could have had a conversation with Gary to tell him to knock it off.

This whole reunion was ugly, and so was the season.  Alex, Mads, Lucy, Ileisha and especially Chandler all seem like the grownups in the room.

[pasdetrois]

12 hours ago, snarts said:

Glenn. I've officially lost my crush, he's giving me the ick.

During the season, there were several scenes where he was laughing and agreeing with Gary (and I think Colin) about Daisy. It's clear that Glenn and Gary have a deep friendship, and it interferes with Glenn's ability to be objective, despite his oily attempts at diplomacy.

Edited July 19, 2023 by pasdetrois

[Passing Strange]

A second show during which Andy led a pile-on on a woman because she enjoys sex. And this time Glenn jumped in to say tsk tsk to Gary but that the real problem was that Daisy didn't handle him better. WTF.

Daisy was in a no win situation. Glenn (and his girlfriend) thought all she had to do was be more forceful in discouraging Gary and the problem would have been solved. That's naive. Gary, like too many men, unconsciously believes he has a right to women's bodies. We know Gary is a petulant, selfish brat. If Daisy had denied him, he would have mocked her and accused her of having no sense of humor or complained about her to anyone who would listen, including Glen, or sulked and made passive-aggressive comments about her. The one thing he wouldn't have been was gracious and trying to work with him would have been a nightmare. We've almost five years out from MeToo and people are still expecting women to be responsible for men's actions and feelings. It's sad and frustrating.

And regardless of how diplomatic Daisy was trying to be last week when answering the question about Glenn and Gary's friendship, she was wrong. Glenn is very biased in favor of Gary. When a department head's staff say they're better off without him and we can see why, that's bad management. Glenn should have addressed that. He didn't, because he himself is a bad manager. 

[Lamima]

18 minutes ago, MartyQui said:

As far as the flirting with Gary goes, she never really said stop…she’d be smiling and laughing and telling him to stop. 

 Alex, Mads, Lucy, Ileisha and especially Chandler all seem like the grownups in the room.

Make this makes sense. She never said stop but was smiling and laughing and telling him to stop?????? That's saying stop...right...what am I missing here. Because she was smiling and laughing while saying stop so that negates it somehow??? Is that what you mean. Some people, myself included, giggle during uncomfortable situations. She still said stop. And pushed him away when he had her cornered. Plus I agree with poster above who pointed out what he'll her life on the boat would be if she really forced the issue with Gary. I don't know that I will watch if he's on next season...no, I know I WONT watch with Gary on. Nope. 

 

Also, it's Chase not Chandler.

[Yours Truly]

Okay so I’m HUUGGGGEEE on not making it a woman’s job to gently and comfortably police Mens inappropriate behavior and while I absolutely CRINGED when Glenn said what he said we have to keep in mind that Daisy has an ESTABLISHED relationship with Gary. They flirt, they play, she entertains his misbehaving. Do I think his overstepping boundaries is absolutely unacceptable? Hell to the yes however in the case of those specific two…. YES! Daisy absolutely needed to be way more firm with Gary. Gary gets no pass from me but he has gotten a pass from Daisy regularly and they’ve actually consumated their situationship. Gary is attracted to Daisy because she accepts his antics so of course that makes her ridiculously irresistible plus they have history where Gary has had confirmation time and time again that Daisy (for most part) doesn’t feel his less than respectful behavior is a dealbreaker for their friendship. Even at the end of the reunion Daisy said her and Gary are good will be good and she didn’t seem at all interested in terminating that friendship. 

I have to admit that I have guy friends that have “frat bro” tendencies that overstep and when it gets to a place where enough is enough I put my foot down and set them straight. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s a part of continuing friendships with dudes that have dog tendencies. Daisy ain’t just some work acquaintance, he’s an established friend/lover and I’m not surprised he took so many liberties. And yes, a person does have a certain amount of responsibility to show others how to treat them WITHIN any sort of relationship. When you let them in and theirs a mutual caring then you communicate with each other.  

I think women need to be hella careful when thinking they can “handle” a Gary type. He’s a misogynistic, borderline predator and brushing his behavior under the rug does no one any good. It’s not hard to deem his behavior distasteful and therefore treat him accordingly but when people choose not to hold him accountable for his misbehaving then it really just becomes something people end up tolerating. I am not a Gary fan and It’s wrong for him to behave that way but he’s a run away fire and no one cared (Daisy, Colin) until it affected them directly which I have no sympathy for. 🤷🏻‍♀️
 

Yes Gary has a responsibility NOT to be this aggressive inappropriate perv but he is and no one holds him accountable. The worse Gary got was Mads blowing him off but guess what he still got sex from her so there was still a reward for his antics.. why would he change if he still gets what he wants for the most part. Hell Daisy still looks like she wants the friendship intact even tho Gary said the friendship has taken a hit. GARY SAID THAT! So I mean, I get that it’s unacceptable for men to be predatory perverts but if his behavior goes unchallenged then I mean what does everyone expect. It can’t ALL be laid at Gary’s feet. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited July 19, 2023 by Yours Truly

[iMonrey]

Wow what a mess. Strange how 90% of the season was spent on the Gary/Daisy/Colin triangle, yet the reunion didn't get around to discussing it until the last half hour of part 2. Maybe they knew Daisy would lose her shit once they did.

Look, nobody came off well here, including Colin. But I thought Daisy was the worst. I'm still not sure I'm following this story. Apparently she and Colin hooked up before the season started filming, and then she found out he was sleeping with some woman he worked with on his own boat. But he said it was just casual so they continued hooking up throughout the season and afterwards. But then they broke up and she found out he ended up dating that woman? And that's what she's so upset about? What did she mean when she said everyone knew but her? I thought she said she found out before the season even started filming. Did she mean she found out he was dating that other woman after they broke up? So what? They broke up. I don't get it.

It seems like maybe she is upset Colin gave her so much grief about sleeping with Gary when he was sleeping with that other woman, but he apparently told her about the other woman up front. So she's mad he ended up dating her because he had told her it was just casual. So that's what she meant when she said he misrepresented himself? And had a lot to answer for?

It's interesting she said repeatedly "none of this was on the show," which suggests this was part of the conversation Bravo decided to edit out. I don't think she realized how she was going to be portrayed until the show aired. And that's fair. But I don't see why she's trying to throw this all onto Colin. It just seems like she's being way too defensive. She tried to take issue with the fact that Colin had flirted with her and tried to kiss her two seasons ago, as if to say "see? he's just as bad." 

I honestly don't see how any of them come back from this to do another season. Gary has no shame or self-awareness and obviously doesn't care, but clearly Daisy is upset with how social media has treated her. I can't imagine her signing up to do another season unless she did so before this one aired and she realized how badly it would affect her.

[snarts]

^ I "think" Daisy was upset that Colin continually used Gary as an excuse for why he was holding back and eventually dumped her, all the while he had an actual side chick that became his girlfriend. Oh, and Daisy was the last one to find out about it. 

I believe she was also very frustrated (and rightfully so, IMHO) that she was being held to task for Gary's flirtatious behavior, both by Colin and Captain Glenn. The fact that they've all remained friends while painting her as "that woman", the toxic one, is pretty hard to take. 

The more I see of Colin and the way he moves tells me that he's every bit as a much of a 🚩 as Gary, just way more secretive about it. 

[psychoticstate]

Far and away, episode MVPs were Chase and his homeboy, Charlie.  Loved the scene of Chase silently snacking while you can see Charlie eyeing the food from his backpack.  

I hate, hate, hate when during a Zoom reunion everyone is talking, screaming, crying, and screeching over each other.  I feel like I missed a lot of what happened with the Gary/Daisy/Colin "triangle."  

Colin is definitely less hot to me - although if he told Daisy about the other woman, and the other woman about Daisy, and both were fine with it, that's on them.  And if what Colin was saying was truth and Daisy pulled back and wouldn't commit, well, I guess that's on her now.  I'm not surprised that the relationship was toxic.  I hate to agree with Gary but he wasn't wrong when he said that Daisy was fine and dandy with interrupting him and Colin but if they attempted to say something over her, she lost her shit.  And despite her denial to Andy that she was/had ever been in love with Colin, I think she was lying.  I think she's still in love with him and that's why she was so emotional and broke down several times.  

As far as Daisy shouldering the blame for Gary making moves on her, no, that's on Gary.  He shouldn't have done that.  However, Daisy laughed and giggled and cuddled up to him and even kissed him.  She was sending mixed signals all over the place.  Unless the production monkeys were up to shenanigans and didn't show it, she should have told Gary very firmly that she did not appreciate nor want him to do such things and he was to stop it immediately.  And if he didn't, report him to Glenn.  I understand how Colin would feel uncomfortable and be confused with Daisy laughing it off like it's no big deal.  

And Gary was clearly stunned and hurt by Mads being Gary this season.  She had/has no time for his b.s. - Daisy needs to check in with Mads on how to do that because that's how she should have been treating Gary's advances.  

I did find it interesting that Gary did not watch the season (if this was from part 1, I apologize, I watched them back-to-back).   Chase was 100% correct in his advice to Gary that maybe watching would give him some self-awareness.  I'm glad that Chase got his due about being a hard worker and good deckhand.   I think Gary probably is a good first mate/lead deckhand/bosun whatever when there are no cameras around.  He does seem very concerned about the guest experience.  And I would imagine that Glenn would not work with on a regular and permanent basis if he wasn't good at his job.  Makes me wonder what might have happened if Gary had been on the boat from day 1 of this season.

Interesting that Chase and Ileisha met up multiple times after the season ended - and presumably after she and her boyfriend broke up.  Apparently so did Alex and Mads - although Alex now has a girlfriend he's not too jazzed about.  

Did anyone else think that Colin and Ileisha were flirting?  I didn't.  I thought they were cute together and had a nice chemistry but I never got flirtatious.   Maybe Daisy was trying to throw more shade at Colin?  

Will be interesting to see if Daisy and/or Colin returns for future seasons.  

ETA:  Andy is the worst host ever.  Not only could he not control the participants who were talking over each other but he interrupted Colin's explanation of how the sitch with him and Daisy started and how it was going at the start of the season and was never able to go back to it and finish.  Thanks, Andy -- you dumbass. 

Edited July 19, 2023 by psychoticstate

[MartyQui]

28 minutes ago, snarts said:

I believe she was also very frustrated (and rightfully so, IMHO) that she was being held to task for Gary's flirtatious behavior, both by Colin and Captain Glenn. The fact that they've all remained friends while painting her as "that woman", the toxic one, is pretty hard to take. 

I will take the stand that if she told Gary, while they were both sober, that he needed to cut the sh*t, and he continued to do it that yes, Glenn and Gary's holding her accountable was despicable.  However, we never saw her act like a woman in a relationship and tell Gary to cut it out.  If that had happened, I think Bravo would have shown us because it adds to the "Gary is a lecher" persona that he takes great delight in.

Also, I think Gary/Daisy/Glenn have some weird friendship going, but I think Colin is out of that circle now.

I'll also hold to my opinion that Daisy was drunk during the reunion, hence all the crying (with great waterproof eye makeup!) and yelling and apparently not noticing that her boob fell out of her dress.  

[snarts]

43 minutes ago, MartyQui said:

I will take the stand that if she told Gary, while they were both sober, that he needed to cut the sh*t, and he continued to do it that yes, Glenn and Gary's holding her accountable was despicable.  However, we never saw her act like a woman in a relationship and tell Gary to cut it out.  If that had happened, I think Bravo would have shown us because it adds to the "Gary is a lecher" persona that he takes great delight in.

Let's agree to disagree because I'll never accept or understand why Daisy should be blamed/faulted for Gary's behavior. We watched her say no or stop multiple times while he continually carried on. I don't care if she was smiling, laughing, drunk or nervously giggling, she is not responsible for his actions.

Way too much focus on what she did or didn't do and not nearly enough attention or blame directed at him, especially from his boss, Captain Glenn.

[pasdetrois]

I think Daisy's distress is 1) being called out by Glenn for poor performance on camera and 2) she thought the storyline would go one way and it went another. Also, she was drunk. I watched her knock back the wine non-stop.

She sent mixed signals to Gary in order to support the triangle storyline.

Now she feels blindsided by the Misogyny Trio; she thought they had a plan for the season and they turned on her and humiliated her.

I think they will all return because the Bravo money, and other opportunities, are too good to turn down.

Edited July 19, 2023 by pasdetrois

[Mr. Miner]

Daisy's job performance was lacking because of the "trio" scenario. It bugged the shit out of me how she couldn't take criticism or be held accountable. She said she earned the right as a chief stew to go to the engine room and make out with her boyfriend. That's fine as long as the guests are being taken care of, which wasn't always the case.

[iMonrey]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

Far and away, episode MVPs were Chase and his homeboy, Charlie.  Loved the scene of Chase silently snacking while you can see Charlie eyeing the food from his backpack.  

I find it hard to believe any dog is happy about being stuck in a backpack for 2 hours. Mine wouldn't be, anyway.

Some shallow notes: WTF was up with Daisy's eyebrows? It looked like she painted them on with shoe polish. Same with Mads' eye makeup. Ye gads, that's a whole lot of eyeliner and mascara.

Episode MVP for me was Lucy and her wide-eyed reactions to the shit going down.

7 minutes ago, snarts said:

I'll never accept or understand why Daisy should be blamed/faulted for Gary's behavior. We watched her say no or stop multiple times while he continually carried on. I don't care if she was smiling, laughing, drunk or nervously giggling, she is not responsible for his actions.

Daisy is definitely not responsible for Gary's actions, but the problem is that nobody is holding him accountable in a way that's going to change his behavior. He's basically getting away with manhandling all the women on board so there's no reason for him to stop doing it.

Gary is a letch, and it's not cute or funny. And yet we're undoubtedly stuck with him because Bravo isn't suffering any consequences from his actions. Ratings aren't really a thing anymore. Shows react to a vocal minority on social media. And clearly Bravo isn't getting the message that Gary is toxic. We all need to get on Twitter or start a Facebook protest or something.

[Passing Strange]

2 hours ago, MartyQui said:

However, we never saw her act like a woman in a relationship and tell Gary to cut it out.

We never saw Gary act like a man in a relationship and be faithful. When Daisy said she was with Colin and Gary said he was with Mads that should have been the end of it. But despite proclaiming that he wanted a real relationship with Mads, Gary pursued Daisy. Gary's choice; Gary's responsibility.

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

Daisy is definitely not responsible for Gary's actions, but the problem is that nobody is holding him accountable in a way that's going to change his behavior.

Agreed. Sad to say it will only happen when other men criticize the behavior. Gary didn't listen to Daisy when she said no. Smiling, laughing, drunk or nervously giggling when someone says no doesn't magically turn it into yes, but there were no consequences for Gary when he ignored Daisy's objections. What would have stopped the pursuit was a "not cool, bro" from Colin. Before this season I would have said that was exactly the kind of thing Colin would do. This season? Feet of clay.

[psychoticstate]

3 hours ago, snarts said:

Let's agree to disagree because I'll never accept or understand why Daisy should be blamed/faulted for Gary's behavior. We watched her say no or stop multiple times while he continually carried on. I don't care if she was smiling, laughing, drunk or nervously giggling, she is not responsible for his actions.

Way too much focus on what she did or didn't do and not nearly enough attention or blame directed at him, especially from his boss, Captain Glenn.

Yes, Daisy did tell him to stop and that she was with Colin but she also egged him on at times, flirted with him, cuddled him into basically motorboating her, etc.  I think she was actually loving the attention from two men and not realizing that it was upsetting to Colin.  That and she was drunk every single crew night off.  

I don't know what she and Colin determined was their relationship upon boarding the Parsifal, since Andy interrupted Colin and we never got the full story, but if he was thinking they were going to really try at a serious relationship, I can imagine how he might have felt going to bed that first night onboard and then finding out later that Daisy got drunk and was making out with Alex.  

2 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Daisy's job performance was lacking because of the "trio" scenario. It bugged the shit out of me how she couldn't take criticism or be held accountable. She said she earned the right as a chief stew to go to the engine room and make out with her boyfriend. That's fine as long as the guests are being taken care of, which wasn't always the case.

I thought her job performance for much of the season was terrible.  She's a good example of why it's not a good idea to get involved with someone you work with.  She brought her personal business to work - and I understand it's probably much harder to separate when you live with the people you work with but the guests definitely suffered for it in some cases.  And that can affect the tips that everyone gets so it's not just affecting her.  

I disagree with Daisy that as chief stew she "earned" the right to go make out with her boyfriend when guests are on board and she's technically on the clock.  Do whatever you want on your "free" days when there are no guests but when a charter is underway, the crew shouldn't be drinking, partying or making out with each other.  JMO.

[Oosala]

20 hours ago, snarts said:

Glenn focus his disappointment Gary and his inability to control himself?? Fuck the 'boys will be boys' mentality. So disappointing.

Haven't you heard?  Glenn and Gary are in a committed relationship and are only asking for tolerance and acceptance.

8 hours ago, Earl Is Dead said:

8 hours ago, rur said:

All that aside, Mads looked terrific!

She did - I kept thinking how she giving us Brigitte Bardot.  Because I'm old.

GREAT MINDS think alike.  I'm old too because I posted this exact same thing just now in the Part 1 thread.  Go look.  It's probably the last post on there.

5 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

I hate to agree with Gary but he wasn't wrong when he said that Daisy was fine and dandy with interrupting him and Colin but if they attempted to say something over her, she lost her shit.

^^^So Much This.  Yes, the three men boys definitely had a gang mentality against Daisy, so maybe interrupting them was her only defense. 

And NO, Colin was NEVER flirting with Ileisha.  Chase was, but not Colin.

Agree with the poster about really loving Chase during Part 2, leaning back, eating chips, with his cute dog, and just enjoying the show.

[Chalby]

19 hours ago, SHERMDOG said:

I stand corrected. I saw a bit of moisture leaking! 

I guess I was watching a different episode than you. I saw Daisy crying after an hour of them slut shaming her for actions done when she was single. I don't know what they were all drinking tonight but for Daisy to be blamed for Collins sexual insecurity, then labeled toxic by both Gary and Colin, just reiterates men blaming women for not being able to control their fragile egos.

[iMonrey]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

I thought her job performance for much of the season was terrible.  She's a good example of why it's not a good idea to get involved with someone you work with.  She brought her personal business to work - and I understand it's probably much harder to separate when you live with the people you work with but the guests definitely suffered for it in some cases. 

She also doubled down on "we can't hear the radio in the laundry or the master," despite the fact that they disproved this on the show right after she said it in the meeting.

8 minutes ago, Chalby said:

I saw Daisy crying after an hour of them slut shaming her for actions done when she was single.

I didn't see any evidence anyone on the show was "slut shaming" her. There was a lot of "your fault not mine" back and forth between Colin and Daisy but how exactly was anyone slut shaming her? Even Chase jumped in to say that wasn't the case. The only ones slut shaming were trolls on the internet, per Daisy herself.

Mads, on the other hand? Totally slut-shamed by Gary. What a creep.

[Pattycake2]

I thought that it was said that Colin and Daisy did start a relationship before the season and that Colin told her that he wasn’t seeing his former girlfriend. So Daisy felt they were free to pursue a further relationship. It also seems that lots of people on board knew the Colin wasn’t done with his girlfriend. And although Colin told Daisy repeatedly during their relationship off the boat that the former girlfriend meant nothing to him, they moved in together within six weeks after the break up. 
 

[psychoticstate]

17 minutes ago, Chalby said:

I guess I was watching a different episode than you. I saw Daisy crying after an hour of them slut shaming her for actions done when she was single. I don't know what they were all drinking tonight but for Daisy to be blamed for Collins sexual insecurity, then labeled toxic by both Gary and Colin, just reiterates men blaming women for not being able to control their fragile egos.

No one in the cast was slut shaming Daisy.  It was people on the internet.   I wouldn't consider Daisy a "slut" or anything like that.  A drunk maybe but not a slut by any means.  

I did feel sorry for Daisy feeling that way and I'm never happy to see anyone crying.  As I said above, I think she was in love with Colin, and maybe still is, despite what she told Andy.   

I don't think Colin labeled Daisy herself toxic - he said the relationship became toxic, mostly because you couldn't have an argument or conversation with Daisy, according to him, because she flew off the handle, interrupted and whatever else she was doing last night when he was attempting to tell his version of events.  

I have no idea what really happened between the two of them.  We didn't get Colin's full story (thanks, Andy) and clearly there's a lot of hurt/anger/bitterness that Daisy is holding toward Colin, based on her WWHL appearance, her Insta and the fact that she was making faces and rolling her eyes every time he spoke during part 1.  Because Andy couldn't control the room, there were multiple people talking at the same time when Colin, Daisy and/or Gary spoke.  From what I could gather, it seems that Colin felt that Daisy was always holding back and not fully committing and concerned about the connection with Gary and broke things off between himself and Daisy in December.  Apparently he had a female he had been hooking up with on his boat before he and Daisy hooked up prior to coming onboard Parsifal.  I think he indicated that the female on board his boat would never be anything more than a hook up, at least per Daisy, and she was hurt by the fact that she became more than that after she and Colin broke up.  So maybe Daisy thinks it never ended or she's hurt because what Colin said wasn't true -- or didn't become true after they broke up.  Again, don't know because it wasn't further explored.  But clearly, their relationship became toxic and/or unhealthy for both of them.  Colin has moved on, Daisy doesn't seem to have yet.  

Daisy needs to look away from Gary and Colin and maybe find someone that's not on the boat with her if she wants a relationship.  JMO. 

[aghst]

In one of the later episodes, Daisy was more firm when Gary tried grabbing her.

So assuming it wasn’t editing shenanigans, she might have been able to stop Gary’s behavior earlier on.

Or at least give negative feedback.  Gary is persistent but we haven’t seen that he would force himself when it was made clear that his advances were unwanted.

[SemiCharmedLife]

5 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

I don't think Colin labeled Daisy herself toxic - he said the relationship became toxic, mostly because you couldn't have an argument or conversation with Daisy, according to him, because she flew off the handle, interrupted and whatever else she was doing last night when he was attempting to tell his version of events.  

I have no idea what really happened between the two of them.  We didn't get Colin's full story (thanks, Andy) and clearly there's a lot of hurt/anger/bitterness that Daisy is holding toward Colin, based on her WWHL appearance, her Insta and the fact that she was making faces and rolling her eyes every time he spoke during part 1.  Because Andy couldn't control the room, there were multiple people talking at the same time when Colin, Daisy and/or Gary spoke.  From what I could gather, it seems that Colin felt that Daisy was always holding back and not fully committing and concerned about the connection with Gary and broke things off between himself and Daisy in December.  Apparently he had a female he had been hooking up with on his boat before he and Daisy hooked up prior to coming onboard Parsifal.  I think he indicated that the female on board his boat would never be anything more than a hook up, at least per Daisy, and she was hurt by the fact that she became more than that after she and Colin broke up.  So maybe Daisy thinks it never ended or she's hurt because what Colin said wasn't true -- or didn't become true after they broke up.  Again, don't know because it wasn't further explored.  But clearly, their relationship became toxic and/or unhealthy for both of them.  Colin has moved on, Daisy doesn't seem to have yet.  

Daisy needs to look away from Gary and Colin and maybe find someone that's not on the boat with her if she wants a relationship.  JMO. 

Thanks for the clear rundown of what they seemed to be saying in part 2.  I also agree that is what I understood.  Some viewers are thinking that Colin had Daisy in a relationship (or pursuing one) and a side girl.  But, I think he had broken up with the ex girlfriend, pursued Daisy, and then reunited with her when things with Daisy didn't work out.  Daisy felt betrayed because he had said his feelings for his ex weren't that deep.  I know it was hard to piece this together because of the interruptions, but I'm in agreement with your take.  

[NYCFree]

On Gary’s birthday, we saw him tell Daisy how hurt he was by her “meanness” and begged to have just his birthday when she wasn’t “mean” to him. This really affected Daisy, and it perfectly set up Gary to grab and manhandle Daisy so that she would only protest with smiles, etc.

[MartyQui]

The woman that Colin was hooking up with on the catamaran, and who is now his girlfriend, is Britt.  The ex-girlfriend of two years was Martina.

[iMonrey]

15 hours ago, Pattycake2 said:

So Daisy felt they were free to pursue a further relationship. It also seems that lots of people on board knew the Colin wasn’t done with his girlfriend. And although Colin told Daisy repeatedly during their relationship off the boat that the former girlfriend meant nothing to him, they moved in together within six weeks after the break up.

How would everyone else on Parsifal know Colin was still involved with the other woman? Was he going around telling everyone? Did he tell Gary and Gary told everyone else? I didn't understand this part. I think maybe what happened is that Daisy was the last to find out he got back together with that woman after they broke up, but I don't see how that's Colin's fault, especially after she blocked him in Instagram.

[kassa]

Such visceral and varied reactions!  

No means no, but when you have a touchy feely grope-y friendship with a guy you've slept with and your new relationship is present AND all your behavior out of your new relationship's sight is being filmed for national television so you know he will see it, renegotiation of the "platonic" relationship boundaries should happen. And for most people, that means the gropey stuff has to come to an end. Gary was not the only person initiating this behavior. He's a dog, but you don't let a dog keep humping your leg and shrug and say "I said no, nothing else I can do." There is no power dynamic by which she needs to fear him or a very frank, sober declaration that the physical horseplay has to stop. (Because it wasn't just horseplay, it was sexual horseplay/foreplay.)

I think that like Kate in her final season, Daisy is burned out and needs to do something else now. I'm not sure how future guests (Bravo charters or not) would appreciate the contempt she showed for the stupid "bullshit" guest involvement stuff. Of course these relationships are shallow and they're simping for tips, but most seem to do so good naturedly as part of the gig... until they can't hide it any more. Ben, Kate, now Daisy.

Barely recognized the other stews. Gary was Gary and I think they need to retire him. The chef was nice and I hope she comes back. 

 

[Jst2Wld]

On 7/19/2023 at 5:56 AM, rur said:

much of what we saw was set up by the producers.

That's pretty much the SOP for these Bravo series. 

Andy and the producers still think the viewers are dumb and gullible. However, we are much smarter than they are and we will stop watching eventually. 

I think next season will be a new crew. Except Slimey Gary will still be there. Yuck. Gross. Disgusting. 

[Shrek]

The problem with BDSY is that they can't just change the boat and/or crew as sailing yachts are very few & far between as well as needing a specialized main crew hence the Glen/Barry relationship with the boat. Glen mentioned somewhere that he had been the captain of this particular boat for 10 years and if I'm remembering correctly the original bosun & chief stew had been there a while before the series started.

[Yours Truly]

3 hours ago, kassa said:

Such visceral and varied reactions!  

No means no, but when you have a touchy feely grope-y friendship with a guy you've slept with and your new relationship is present AND all your behavior out of your new relationship's sight is being filmed for national television so you know he will see it, renegotiation of the "platonic" relationship boundaries should happen. And for most people, that means the gropey stuff has to come to an end. Gary was not the only person initiating this behavior. He's a dog, but you don't let a dog keep humping your leg and shrug and say "I said no, nothing else I can do." There is no power dynamic by which she needs to fear him or a very frank, sober declaration that the physical horseplay has to stop. (Because it wasn't just horseplay, it was sexual horseplay/foreplay.)

I think that like Kate in her final season, Daisy is burned out and needs to do something else now. I'm not sure how future guests (Bravo charters or not) would appreciate the contempt she showed for the stupid "bullshit" guest involvement stuff. Of course these relationships are shallow and they're simping for tips, but most seem to do so good naturedly as part of the gig... until they can't hide it any more. Ben, Kate, now Daisy.

Barely recognized the other stews. Gary was Gary and I think they need to retire him. The chef was nice and I hope she comes back. 

 

THIS! (to the bolded)

I just think it's really a stretch to paint Daisy as some helpless lamb in the woods. It doesn't make Gary less of a predatory perv tho but yeah there were equal parts misbehaving between the two. 

[MartyQui]

I think there's some confusion about Colin's timeline...he broke up with Martina, the girlfriend he had for his first two seasons on BDSY.  Then he hooked up with Britt, casually, at the same time he was hooking up with Daisy, also casually.  Then he and Daisy had their time in the sun, broke up, and Colin started a relationship with Britt. None of that makes him a bad person to me.

[snarts]

3 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

THIS! (to the bolded)

I just think it's really a stretch to paint Daisy as some helpless lamb in the woods. It doesn't make Gary less of a predatory perv tho but yeah there were equal parts misbehaving between the two. 

I haven't noticed anyone claiming Daisy is completely innocent.

My issue is that she's shouldering way more than her share of the blame, especially when it comes to Gary's obnoxious flirting. Why does Glenn not see an issue with Gary's behavior, telling Daisy she should've "pushed back harder"? Why wasn't Colin angrier at Gary for blatantly & obnoxiously flirting with his love interest, instead shaming Daisy for it?

2 hours ago, MartyQui said:

I think there's some confusion about Colin's timeline...he broke up with Martina, the girlfriend he had for his first two seasons on BDSY. 

  Colin's had a different girlfriend each season. S2 was Martina; S3 was Silvia.

[Zaffy]

From the little I read here I am glad I did not watch the reunions and the last half of the season.
I honestly could not care less about who is effing who and why, plus Gary is a person who appalls me and as long as he is a part of  the crew I am not going to watch BDSY again.
Our brain cells are to precious to get burned by whatever this show has turned into.

[WhiskeyVictor]

On 7/19/2023 at 10:06 AM, Yours Truly said:

borderline predator

BORDERLINE?!?! I know a straight-up predator when I see it, and Gary fits the bill. If I were HR for that company his arse would be on the streets looking for his next job. No, in fact, he would have to register as a sexual predator and notify any future employer to that effect. No one should have to endure such a sexually toxic workplace. Full stop.

[iMonrey]

On 7/20/2023 at 9:59 AM, kassa said:

Gary was not the only person initiating this behavior. He's a dog, but you don't let a dog keep humping your leg and shrug and say "I said no, nothing else I can do." There is no power dynamic by which she needs to fear him or a very frank, sober declaration that the physical horseplay has to stop. (Because it wasn't just horseplay, it was sexual horseplay/foreplay.)

Bingo.

17 hours ago, snarts said:

My issue is that she's shouldering way more than her share of the blame, especially when it comes to Gary's obnoxious flirting. Why does Glenn not see an issue with Gary's behavior, telling Daisy she should've "pushed back harder"?

Because it's incumbent on her to tell Gary to stop, in no uncertain terms. That's not Glenn's responsibility unless Daisy goes to him and asks him for help. That's not to say this is her fault, it's just that there's nobody else who's going to do it but her. If what Gary was doing really bothered her then she should have gone to Glenn or a producer, and she didn't. It seemed pretty obvious to me she enjoyed the attention and didn't really mind.

17 hours ago, snarts said:

Why wasn't Colin angrier at Gary for blatantly & obnoxiously flirting with his love interest, instead shaming Daisy for it?

I don't think Colin ever "shamed" Daisy. He was upset when he found out she and Gary had slept together because he'd been lied to by both of them but I never saw any evidence he was shaming her. He said many times on camera he couldn't trust Gary.

That said, the fact that he's still tight with Gary does speak volumes about his character, and it's not a great look on him.

[Yours Truly]

4 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Bingo.

Because it's incumbent on her to tell Gary to stop, in no uncertain terms. That's not Glenn's responsibility unless Daisy goes to him and asks him for help. That's not to say this is her fault, it's just that there's nobody else who's going to do it but her. If what Gary was doing really bothered her then she should have gone to Glenn or a producer, and she didn't. It seemed pretty obvious to me she enjoyed the attention and didn't really mind.

I don't think Colin ever "shamed" Daisy. He was upset when he found out she and Gary had slept together because he'd been lied to by both of them but I never saw any evidence he was shaming her. He said many times on camera he couldn't trust Gary.

That said, the fact that he's still tight with Gary does speak volumes about his character, and it's not a great look on him.

I never saw Colin as some huge prize to begin with cause when he started season 2 or 3 he had another "serious" relationship he was in so that told me that he was still figuring things out which is okay. He won points cause he managed to film this reality show without disrespecting his partner which seems to be so hard for some when it comes to reality TV. But I never thought Colin was that big of a deal.  

Colin is so chill in his delivery and is rather well spoken when trying to express what went wrong that it just makes it that much harder for Daisy to plead her cause without coming across as a tad bit frantic. 

I gathered that before filming started Colin and Daisy "hooked up" Daisy confesses that they only made out at that point and that by the time they got on the boat to film Colin came clean about the casual sex situation on his previous boat that apparently wasn't exactly a done deal. Daisy explains that when she found out about that detail she decided to treat the hooking up with more caution while debating whether or not to move forward with Colin knowing that she isn't his only choice. Hence, her casual make out session with Alex. According to Daisy Colins revelation about this other woman put their "relationship" in the casual category therefore giving Daisy the freedom to do as she pleases and I'm starting to think that was the reason why she wasn't pushing as hard to get Gary to stop being so flirtatious. I get it. At the earlier part of the season Colin isn't exactly suggesting he and Daisy be exclusive and she knows there's someone else so Daisy decides to continue on the boat as if nothing has changed. Seems to me that they finally made the switch to actual couple during the season and that's when any sort of expectations should have come into play. 

I think Daisy resents the timing of when she was expected to behave as a person in a committed relationship. The show has messed with that timeline and I think she feels like Colin is also messing with it as well. I personally think them pussyfooting around the relationship is what caused all the dumb shit and insecurities cause had both of them just said they wanted to give it a real shot at a relationship right from the jump then they wouldn't have been flirting with disaster the whole first half of their beginnings. 

Daisy isn't wrong to think that hooking up doesn't mean exclusive but at the same time the way she's hanging on to semantics is not really helping anything. The Gary hook up is a big deal point blank and she should have mentioned that when Colin mentioned his little friend. I think thats really what sank any chance of that relationship going anywhere from the start. Everything else they talked about really is irrelevant cause I think that withholding the detail of the Gary hookup killed any and all chances they may have had to make a go of it. 

[racked]

I had it in mind the whole season that the triangle was mainly fake but I guess it was real? Daisy seems to think Colin secretly wanted this other girl the whole time since he ended up with her, and I understand why she’d feel that way but it doesn’t make it true. They were both messy but the only truly awful one was Gary. And he’s been awful since the start. He dated his own subordinate in the past and Glen said nothing. He and Daisy already seem to be pals again so she hasn’t learned he’s the real problem I guess. 

[Chalby]

On 7/18/2023 at 9:40 PM, SemiCharmedLife said:

I don't like Daisy being reduced to tears, but I also didn't find anything Colin said objectionable.  He was obviously bothered by what she said on WWHL and was trying to share his viewpoint.  He admitted shared culpability in their toxic relationship, though at times, he was obviously very bothered by her rebuttal. 

Colin's reaction and response to Daisy was cold and (I felt) contained a lot of repressed anger. 

I have noticed on this show that the men are generally old school in their approach to women. The women have no issues counting the boat as zero entry level, so they ignore whatever happened before they got onto the boat. The men, however, cannot seem to handle this rule.

The idea that anyone else could come before them, means they'll corner their new "love interest" and feel the need to question, talk, and belabour whichever hookup in the past they disapprove of. They'll ask the same question over and over if they don't like the answer, then dig and dig until they've created a scenario in their heads, where they can accuse someone of lying because she didn't share her past prior to the boarding of the ship.

It's a double standard and it sucks. I even understand Daisy's anger towards Colin because she went through all the effort of proving to him that he could rely on her, trust her to be forthcoming and honest, and in turn she expected the same. Then she learned he lied about the woman he was dating as just a couple weeks before he had said he would never date her again and assured Daisy there was nothing between them. If that been daisy he would have brought that up during the reunion as well and they all would have called her everything under the sun including a liar.

[SemiCharmedLife]

This is a post by Colin explaining the timeline of his and Daisy's relationship:

Quote

parlayrevival_colin @ 13h • Pinned Omg ok listen. I was single going into the season. Didn't sleep with anone except Daisy for 6 months from then. There was
ZERO overlap between Daisy and the "other woman". None. Daisy and I ended things shortly after the show and THEN I hooked up with the "other woman". I'm getting absolutely harassed for having a girlfriend during the show which is absolute horse shit... I'm a lot of things, but I am not a cheater.