Utopia (US) Live Feed Discussion

[Sunarku]

I think the show ought to hire Zahdii as an episode editor, because these daily recaps turn this train wreck into one of the most entertaining and funny reality shows I've ever known.  If only the real show was close to this good, it might have the potential to last a while.  I have a feeling it's going to crumble when they realize that they've spent all their money in the first week or two, and have no way to actually survive.  Yoga lessons aren't going to support this whole operation.

[ProfCrash]

When the first show has sexual harassment, alcohol poisoning, one sleeper hold and a near fight you are in trouble. The only way to salvage the show is to keep Dave gone and make Red go away fast. Bring in people who have strong opinions but will work and not be assholes. The drama factor will be less but I don't think people want to watch this for the pure drama factor, I think they want to watch it to see how people work together and get along. And that is a small group of people.

 

I love shows like this but I know that most people find them boring. I loved all the PBS versions and enjoyed Kid Nation. Their casting is horrible. I am all for second changes but a four time felon who is so institutionalized that he thinks prison food is amazing is not going to work. A man who appears to enjoy growing and selling Pot is not going to work. A hippie prepper who talks to her self like a Saturday Night Live skit is not going to work. They do not represent everyday people and they are far too extreme. Toss in contact with the outside world, ordering food from the outside world and 911 calls and you are not creating your own society.

 

So they lied in the show concept and they picked too many extremes and the show is going to tank because of it.

[Zahdii]

9/9/2014

 

Regarding Dave's replacement:  via @hippykid:  It won't be a choice.  We just did that for the 15th pioneer.  Someone will just show up to replace him.

 

By 7 AM Rhonda is starting the fire with help from Red.  They talk while boiling some water.  Kristen is up and in the animal barn.  Hex is up, too.  Soon Hex, Kristen, and Rhonda are all doing animal chores together.  Hex is saying there's a buck that has a bad limp that she's going to go after when she goes hunting.

 

By 9 AM, Nikkie is the only one in bed, because she isn't feeling well.  Bella approaches Aaron with her suspicion that someone is stealing eggs.  He says they'll all discuss it at breakfast.

 

Around the same time Hex, Josh, and Rob are talking about Bella.  They notice she doesn't do much work, but stands around watching others and 'delegating'.  They also don't like how she's trying to control the food supply.  (I think they're referring to her insistence that people try not to pick the fruit.  She acts like she thinks it will stay ripe as long as it's on the tree, so she wants them to be rationed slowly.)

 

 

Mike moves on to talk to Jon.  They discuss how the group doesn't work well together and it makes everything from jobs to even holding meeting much harder. 

 

Meanwhile, Aaron is cooking pancakes for breakfast.  Red is still sitting by the fire talking.

 

It's 10:30 and Bella is on a roll!  She wants more hoses!  Lots of them!  She wants them spread all over her gardens because she doesn't want to have to move the hoses around to water.  What's she talking about?  She wouldn't be moving anything, all she does is stand nearby nitpicking everything everyone else is doing.  The more worked up she gets the more people are tuning her out.

 

Mike is trying to flirt with Hex but she doesn't seem to notice.  This is only a few hours after Dede thanked him for her fabulous Big O.

 

Rhonda is trying some last minute campaigning.  The vote is soon and she's expected to be voted out.  I don't think she has a chance of staying, but I appreciate her efforts.

 

By 12;30 PM, Rhonda is voted out in a unanimous vote.  She was expecting it.  After a  long goodbye, she leaves.

 

Good grief Red lies a lot!  He's whining for white rice - this from the man who swears he can't eat gluten.  He's also trying to gain sympathy by claiming he didn't get any breakfast this morning, but he was all over the feeds chomping away.

 

Bella is about to cause a major blowup.  She apparently whined enough to get permission to buy a water filter, but she ordered a $260 two-stage water filter and asked for rush delivery.  I bet the group has no idea this will cost that much.

 

The group got a gas stove, so now they need over $600 to run a gas line from the tank to the barn.  Red, who was all for the stove now claims that he said all along it was a stupid idea.

 

For some reason Red is the one who calls the place that they got the stove from.  He is trying to get something worked out, a cheaper stove or something.  The guy he's talking to obviously despises Red.  (This is hilarious, when Bella was talking on the phone earlier while placing her filter order, she had the same problem.)

 

Red placed another order of food.  It's a lot of junk food that will go fast.  I seriously think that he should not be allowed to place orders.

 

Pastor Jon got a visitor - a woman has come to tell him all the medical people agree that he needs to have another operation on his thumb.  Jon immediately informs the others that he can't return to Utopia after the surgery because it's too dirty there.  He's going home, he won't discuss returning, he's out of there.  And he's the happiest I've ever seen him!  He's scheduled to leave tomorrow morning at 6:30 AM.  He really can't wait to get out of there.  I have to wonder why he doesn't just grab his Bible and leave with his visitor.

 

With the cows looking sorrier each day, Production has brought in a farmer skilled in animal husbandry to talk to the group.  He also brings the new rooster.  Bri takes him to the animal barn and he tells her that she's not feeding the cows enough.  Bri starts lying about things.  She insists she's feeding the cows correctly, but it's obvious she's lying.  She says she's out every morning milking the cows and feeding everything.  I don't think she's been there in the morning in four or five days because she's busy sleeping in with Chris.

 

They move onto the chickens and it's apparent that this guy has been watching the feeds, or has been told what's been going on.  He lives nearby and offers his advice.  Bri's fuming.

 

The farmer has moved onto Bella's silly little circular gardens.  He's not impressed, but he's nice about it.  He gives some advice and Bella seems to be taking it in.  She's asking questions, and asked if Farmer can come back and check out their irrigation plans.

 

Since Bella's gardens are too small, the Farmer suggests the guys, led by Chris (the pepper farmer) are going to make their own garden.  Farmer's definitely watched the feeds or has been prepped by Production.

 

Bella was not happy to hear that there could be a competing garden.  She's shutting out Farmer now and talking over him when he tries to tell her what crops she should be planting in this area and time of year.  I bet the guys garden is more successful.

 

Too bad most of the group didn't go on the barn/garden tour with Farmer.  Now they only have the word of Amanda, Bella, Bri and Nikkie about what was said.  As expected, Bella and Bri started twisting everything the moment the farmer left.  I'm not even sure if she'll tell Chris that Farmer wants Chris to start his own garden.

 

Aaron is making a move to get Bella out.  He says he got "another" letter from Bella asking him to nominate her for eviction.  This is bizarre.  I wonder if anyone believes him or if they're willing to pretend to believe him because so many of them want Bella out of there.

Aaron is really worked up now.  He's now suggesting that Bella is burying her stools in the garden because no one wants to start a human waste compost pile.

 

I can't think of what set him off.  He never seemed to like Bella much, and he's gotten more and more vicious about the things he's said about her, but now he's actively taking steps to get her out.  Is this just the natural progression of his loathing, or has something in particular happened?

 

Nikkie's sticking up for Bella, but she's not calling Aaron a liar or starting a fight.  She's just calmly talking about how everyone needs to be more tolerant.  I bet she's the next target.

 

lol, how very Bella.  In the middle of this, Bella walks up cranky because she was trying to sleep and they woke her up.  She plans to get an early start on the gardening tomorrow.

 

Bri and Chris are at it again.  Even the camera operators are bored and we're not subjected to sight nor sound of their nightly antics.

 

By 11:00 PM it looks like everyone might be in bed.  Mike and Dede are whispering together.  Mike thinks it might be funny to wake up Pastor Dave at 3 AM for one last baptism.  They giggle at the idea and go to sleep.

 

Goodnight everyone!

Edited September 10, 2014 by Zahdii

[Matt K]

Man they're only past week 1 and it sounds like they're going to be running out of money pretty soon.  I'd be surprised if this lasts till the end of the year.  Or at least without some huge amount of production interference.

[DeLurker]

 

Jon immediately informs the others that he can't return to Utopia after the surgery because it's too dirty there.  He's going home, he won't discuss returning, he's out of there.

Proof of the power of prayers!

 

He'll get a sermon (or 12) out of these few days of his life.

[dogfish]

Says a lot about the cast when the Pentecostal Preacher turns out to be one of the more reasonable and watchable members.

I think he knew his being there was a mistake from Day One.

[Ceeg]

How in the world does FOX expect this show to last an entire year? This show is sooo sloppy. Dave left. Jon is leaving today. Red threatens to leave constantly. And they're blowing all their money. And it's only been a couple of weeks (?), if that. 

[ottoDbusdriver]

How in the world does FOX expect this show to last an entire year? This show is sooo sloppy. Dave left. Jon is leaving today. Red threatens to leave constantly. And they're blowing all their money. And it's only been a couple of weeks (?), if that.

 

How entertaining will it be to watch a dwindling number of people slowly starve to death because of their own stupidity ?  No fun at all.

 

Somehow someone at Fox thought this would be ratings gold (That's gold Jerry, gold !!) when it will be lucky to make it to the end of the month before being canceled.

 

Fox has canceled shows after only a few episodes with better ratings than this before.

Edited September 10, 2014 by ottoDbusdriver

[ProfCrash]

The Utopians will start selling whatever they are selling and FOX will make sure people buy it so that they get the money the need to fund their needs.

 

Really, this should have been set up so that the people enter with an already developed garden that would feed them for the first month. They are responsible for planting crops for the next season pretty fast. They have the food for caring for the animals for a period of time and then they have to harvest that food themselves. If they cannot feed the animals, Production takes them away so the animals are not harmed.

 

They have the lumber and equipment that is there and that is. No electricity, no phone. Or if they want them to have electricity to run a fridge or something they have the equipment there to build solar panels. They can build a root cellar to store vegetables.

 

I am sorry, but people used to live with out all of the modern stuff fine, they would have been just fine. Allow the hunting, provide fruit trees but this idea that they are building a new society and they are on their own is clearly BS.

[Matt K]

I highly doubt they'll ever get to the less than fairly well nourished phase of the show.  Especially since people can just leave, once the going gets even moderately difficult I doubt any of these contestants will bother sticking around.  It seems like these guys already figured that out.

[dogfish]

^^^^This.  No one is doing anything because

a) it's entirely staged and they don't need to be concerned about anything (e.g. violent ex-con camp mates, lack of food) or

b)they know that TPTB will keep supporting them.  

 

We have already seen on the Live Feeds thread the HUGE amount of Production involvement.

Edited September 10, 2014 by dogfish

[henripootel]

If I have to be sullied by the knowledge of these people's sex lives, so do you.

Hee.  I'm really starting to love you, Zahdii.  Thanks for watching this so none of us have to - your recaps are vastly more interesting than the actual show.

We have already seen on the Live Feeds thread the HUGE amount of Production involvement.

 

I honestly think the only way to make this train wreck interesting is to show us the travails of the poor production team who have to keep this mess together with their own hands.  They could probably cure ALS if they gave a dollar every time one of them yells 'WHO CAST THESE FUCKING IDIOTS!!'.  I'd pay to see a live feed of that.

[candall]

When the first show has sexual harassment, alcohol poisoning, one sleeper hold and a near fight you are in trouble. The only way to salvage the show is to keep Dave gone and make Red go away fast. Bring in people who have strong opinions but will work and not be assholes. The drama factor will be less but I don't think people want to watch this for the pure drama factor, I think they want to watch it to see how people work together and get along. And that is a small group of people.

 

I love shows like this but I know that most people find them boring. I loved all the PBS versions and enjoyed Kid Nation. Their casting is horrible. I am all for second changes but a four time felon who is so institutionalized that he thinks prison food is amazing is not going to work. A man who appears to enjoy growing and selling Pot is not going to work. A hippie prepper who talks to her self like a Saturday Night Live skit is not going to work. They do not represent everyday people and they are far too extreme. Toss in contact with the outside world, ordering food from the outside world and 911 calls and you are not creating your own society.

 

So they lied in the show concept and they picked too many extremes and the show is going to tank because of it.

I read somewhere that the "experiment" wasn't about surviving hardship so much as establishing a new social order.  Without prize money, I suppose the threat of deprivation is the only way to motivate their creativity.

 

Since Dave stomped off, Red and Bella are both strung way too tight for longevity and Preacher Jon made a getaway, maybe there's still a chance for a truly interesting show. . .if the producers can restrain themselves from lobbing in the lunatic grenades.

[ProfCrash]

I doubt it. First, I don't think that people are all that interested in shows about establishing a social order. The PBS shows did not survive because they were not viewed by enough folks and they were pretty hard core. The people were working their butts off. The British shows took the live like they did in time X more seriously then the US shows but still the physical and work struggles were real.

 

The only way to make the shows interesting so that people will follow it is to have your lunatics around to cause drama. Collaborative society building of any sort is kind of boring to watch. How do you make "Hey, they are working on the farm today" exciting? Even PBS resorted to conflict over attending church and the heated discussions that followed over the planting, plowing, and surviving stuff. So people are not going to watch a show on FOX that airs 2-3 times a week when all it involves is "Let's build project X today" and some minor squabbles over how that is done. They want the nut jobs for the drama.

 

The problem is that cast nut jobs that people cannot relate to. A four time felon who thinks prison food is awesome? I am all for second chances but they choose someone with multiple felonies who gives every indication that he is more comfortable in jail then in society. What the heck is Red? A hippie prepper who doesn't want to work herself and is annoyed when people don't listen to her or know more then she does? A Vet tech that is more interested in hooking up then the animals they need for their survival? A lwayer who doesn't want to work but appears to what to be a philosopher king? A contractor that pretty much commits a sexual assault on the first day?

 

I am probably moving into, read the recaps and laugh but don't watch territory. The show was poorly thought out and poorly cast, not surprising given that it is FOX.

 

Start from scratch. Send them to the same location, provide them with the basics for survival and the tools to build on what is there. Allow no outside intervention, except in the case of serious emergency. No production talking to them. No one for them to go and bitch too. No phones to call out. Cast interesting people who have different ideas about what is important and see what happens.

[RedheadZombie]

I'm beginning to wonder if this show is simply a baby farm for the black market.  One baby will be born in two months.  Bri will be pregnant in no time because she thinks production should provide her with an IUD, and they're not (Bri knows herself better than anyone.  She should know she's the type of person who cannot go without sex for more than a day or two.  She should have arrived with an IUD in place).  Mike and Dede will soon move beyond mutual masturbation.  Dede is hypersexual - she has two boyfriends and a girlfriend normally.  All the guys except Rob seem to be after Hex - unless she's gay, she's going to be getting busy soon. 

 

They cast the show with young fertile women, and one middle-aged woman who seems to think she's there to get pregnant.  Survivor and Big Brother supply condoms.  Utopia provides food, water, livestock, toilet, smoke detectors, shelter, phone, medical care, money, etc.  Why can't they provide them with condoms?  This is Fox.  I don't believe for a moment that their goal was not to encourage sexual activity.

 

 

I highly doubt they'll ever get to the less than fairly well nourished phase of the show. 

 

No, they probably won't allow the humans to suffer.  But they lost a chicken the first day, and they've been under feeding the cows.  The main animal caretaker is more concerned with having sex than caring for the animals.  Rhonda, someone who also knew how to care for animals, was unanimously voted out. 

 

Someone posted somewhere that the problem with Utopia, is they're all alpha-types and they're fighting for control.  I get the exact opposite impression.  At least half these people are content doing naked yoga, skinny dipping, and having sex.  These people are so laid back they let a raging Dave add all his belongings into the supply box.  They let Red and Dave steal money and order snack food.  They let Josh get drunk and act like a sexual predator, then "punished" him by telling he can't have alcohol.  Bella runs around all day bossing people around and causing chaos.  They had two new people that could have joined Utopia - they chose the easier person over the more useful person.

Edited September 10, 2014 by RedheadZombie

[backformore]

Really, this should have been set up so that the people enter with an already developed garden that would feed them for the first month. They are responsible for planting crops for the next season pretty fast. They have the food for caring for the animals for a period of time and then they have to harvest that food themselves. If they cannot feed the animals, Production takes them away so the animals are not harmed.

 

Right - instead of a phone to call for grocery delivery, instead of a supply of wine and whiskey, how about sacks of flour, rice, and beans?  Peanut butter, oats.  that kind of stuff lasts a long time and provides basic nutrition.   A butter churn.  Then, the participants, instead of having one guy be "the cook", can have people in charge of making bread, churning butter, others in charge of picking fruit from the trees, others in charge of the vegetable garden.  

They can decide to over-rule buying a water filter.  (seriously, fluoride in the water? yeah, not your biggest concern) and figure out some more primitive ways to cook food.  Have any of these guys been in boy scouts?  Dutch oven cooking, maybe getting a camp stove -   use the money for a fridge.  

[DeLurker]

Hmmm..have they addressed coffee?  Because coffee is a clear "must" in my world I find suspect people up at the crack o'anything without a cup of joe.

 

So DeLurker would have packed:  Aeropress coffee maker, coffee, duct tape & WD 40.

[Matt K]

Bri will be pregnant in no time because she thinks production should provide her with an IUD, and they're not (Bri knows herself better than anyone.  She should know she's the type of person who cannot go without sex for more than a day or two.  She should have arrived with an IUD in place). 

 

My biggest laugh so far was confusing the IUD with an IED.  Was confused why Fox was okay with them starting their own militia.  That said, Fox really should be providing condoms, it's just a lawsuit waiting to happen (either STD or pregnancy).  There's a good reason everyone else provides them.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Big surprise.  Red is threatening to leave Utopia -- again. 

[Bubbacat]

How entertaining will it be to watch a dwindling number of people slowly starve to death because of their own stupidity ?

 

Oh, I don't know. Depends on which ones it is . . .

Right - instead of a phone to call for grocery delivery, instead of a supply of wine and whiskey, how about sacks of flour, rice, and beans?  Peanut butter, oats.  that kind of stuff lasts a long time and provides basic nutrition.   A butter churn.  Then, the participants, instead of having one guy be "the cook", can have people in charge of making bread, churning butter, others in charge of picking fruit from the trees, others in charge of the vegetable garden. 

They can decide to over-rule buying a water filter.  (seriously, fluoride in the water? yeah, not your biggest concern) and figure out some more primitive ways to cook food.  Have any of these guys been in boy scouts?  Dutch oven cooking, maybe getting a camp stove -   use the money for a fridge

 

.Ah, but backformore, you see . . . you are sane. And intelligent. And sensible. Things which most of the Utopians (Utopi-ites?) are not.

 

And I'm with DeLurker. Where the hell is the coffee!?!

[riverheightsnancy]

Naked and Afraid is more what I expected this show to be than it actually is. 

[candall]

"MY Utopia has coffee!"

          --Bubbacat, DeLurker & Candall

[QTBlueMoon]

 

Now Red has moved on to Rob, calling him a 'little hobbit' and saying that Rob physically threatened him.  (A few days ago when they argued, Rob said he'd put Red into the dirt, then stepped too close to Red and their foreheads touched.)

 

That wasn't Rob, that was Aaron, the cook.

[Sunarku]

Does anyone know what foods they are planting?  Starting in September, a lot of things would be iffy, even in southern California.  Being a practical person, I would be thinking about what crops could be grown quickly to provide the most food value this time of year.  I would also be thinking about what can be kept long-term in a root cellar, and what can be preserved.  Do they have canning equipment, or has anyone put that on their wish list?

[hincandenza]

I don't know what the daily limit on "likes" is, but I may run out of them just in this thread!

 

You people are hitting all the nails right on the head.  We have this "utopian" society where they make no effort to keep it pristine and isolated.  Big Brother of all things at least took it seriously: here people come and go, they're eager to leave, and they regularly interact with the outside world.  They fuck up their farming a few days in because some sex-crazed idiot forgot to feed the cows, so they actually bring in a farmer. Plus, the way everyone acts, and the eagerness to keep quitting suggests to me that a) they all know it's a joke, and are hoping to use it as a reality TV springboard (like people think Red is doing) and b) there is some kind of penalty for outright quitting, which may be why people like Pastor Jon and Red seemed to be angling from day one to get removed, somehow.

 

The premise is fake and inconsistent, the casting is inane, there is no structure, goal or point to any of this, and everyone involved is apparently going to walk out the first time they run out of cash, which they're spending like crazy.  Which means we now have a separate option for the betting pool: not only when the show will be canceled, but if it will be canceled first for low ratings- or the actual lack of any cast?  Because I don't know which is actually funnier...

[RedheadZombie]

 They fuck up their farming a few days in because some sex-crazed idiot forgot to feed the cows, so they actually bring in a farmer.

 

I hate that TIIC left a poor vulnerable pregnant cow at the mercy of these idiots.  They've already failed to feed her properly.  What if they're drunk, having sex, skinny dipping, yogaing, or goddess circling when the poor thing goes into labor?  I know mother nature should take care of things, but she often doesn't.

[ottoDbusdriver]

 

They fuck up their farming a few days in because some sex-crazed idiot forgot to feed the cows, so they actually bring in a farmer.

 

I hate that TIIC left a poor vulnerable pregnant cow at the mercy of these idiots.  They've already failed to feed her properly.  What if they're drunk, having sex, skinny dipping, yogaing, or goddess circling when the poor thing goes into labor?  I know mother nature should take care of things, but she often doesn't.

 

 

The newborn calf will almost immediately be voted out of Utopia for stealing milk, and not doing his/her share of the work -- 'cause Cowtopians gotta contribute too.

 

Because that is probably how Red's brain works.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Once they buy the laptop, how do they expect that they are going to connect to the Internet exactly ?

 

Do they expect WiFi to be free in Utopia, just like at Starbucks ?  Because you normally need to pay for that too -- or did they not factor that into their budget ?

 

Should we start a pool on when/who the first person to drop and break it will be ?  Because Red will probably smash that laptop if he can't watch porn after spending all that money on it.

Edited September 10, 2014 by ottoDbusdriver

[Rick Kitchen]

If the animals start dying because they can't take care of them properly, I'll be sending nasty letters to Fox.  It's not the animals' fault that incompetents are supposedly taking care of them.

[Rapunzel]

This show is just completely craptastic. I agree that there is no way this is going to make it a whole year. I cannot believe the personalities they chose for this - the only hope is that the Utopians they bring in as 'replacements' are half way normal and can maybe understand the concept and what they're supposed to be doing - but we all know how very unlikely that is.

 

I wonder how many of the Utopians wanted to audition for Big Brother and/or Survivor? Maybe some of  them would have been rejected by those shows for being too mentally unstable, and that's saying something as BB and Survivor cast more than their fair share unstable people along with too many weirdos, misogynists, racists and complete idiots to even count.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Rapunzel

[ElleryAnne]

I wonder how many of the Utopians wanted to audition for Big Brother and/or Survivor? Maybe some of  them would have been rejected by those shows for being too mentally unstable, and that's saying something as BB and Survivor cast more than their fair share unstable people along with too many weirdos, misogynists, racists and complete idiots to even count.

 

 

It says a lot when we can speculate that the show that brought us Brandon Hantz might have thought some of these guys were too unbalanced.  

[kib]

Far be it from me to carry FOX's water, but to be fair it's John de Mol's production company that are the lead architects of this shitstorm.  His past crimes include Big Brother/Fear Factor/1 v 100/Deal or No Deal and The Voice. Not exactly Shakespeare but The Bard didn't have $2.2B in the bank, so there's that...

 

This program could could have easily appeared on any one of the major networks, he's done business with them all, but in this instance it was FOX. 

[RedheadZombie]

The newborn calf will almost immediately be voted out of Utopia for stealing milk, and not doing his/her share of the work -- 'cause Cowtopians gotta contribute too.

 

Because that is probably how Red's brain works.

 

You're right, of course.  I imagine that Red would probably yank the baby calf from the cow's udder, and latch on himself.

[Josette]

I read elsewhere that Mike and Dedeker had sex.  Mike used a condom, so they must give them condoms or they let them buy them. 

[Zahdii]

Wednesday - 9/10/2014

 

Newsflash:  on Friday 9/12 feesters will be treated to Nikkie's first yoga class!  From 4 - 7 PM Pacific Time a group of people from the outside will be allowed into the compound and on camera to get a yoga lesson, followed by a tour of the compound.  For more info, go to:  http://www.utopiatv.com/news/detail/619/namaste-utopia-is-open-for-business and if you decide to attend, let us hear about your experience.

 

6:30 AM Jon ready to go. 

 

He's been awake since 5:45 and has walked around the compound one last time in the early morning light.  No matter how glad he is to go, I think there will be a few things about Utopia he'll miss.

 

He walks to the gate with Amanda, Nikkie, Red, and Rob.  A car is parked outside so he says his goodbyes and walks out the gate.  His wife is there to greet him!  She's pretty, and seems very sweet.  She recognizes the others that are there and hugs them and calls them by name.

 

Then they part ways.  Bye, Preacher.  Best wishes as you move forward in life.

 

Within an hour Red is fuming because Bella took Jon's sleeping spot while others were walking Jon to the gate.  Red says that he put dibs on that spot the night before and starts throwing Bella's stuff around. 

 

Then he stomps off swearing, threatening to buy a microwave and put it right next to that spot, calls her crazy...Typical Red stuff.  Why have a polite conversation when you can leap straight into a towering rage?

 

Bella's upset and goes outside to start her day when she makes another mistake.  She opens the chicken pen gate and leaves.  She's probably trying to let them out like Farmer Lefty told her to do yesterday, but she's pretty upset and seems to have forgotten that he also said to clean the area up first and not to leave the chickens alone for too long.

 

Bella's locked herself in the bathroom for a little while, gives herself a pep talk and then emerges determined to go about her day.  Red sees her and yells to her that they're getting a microwave today.  Kristen, who spends a lot of time lounging around the fire with Red, eggs him on by laughing and telling him "you're so mean!"

 

By 7:30 AM Hex has milked the cow and is trying to clean the animal barn.  She sees that the chickens are out and that some of them have been pecking on the manure pile.  She's worried that they'll lose some chickens and especially the only rooster they have.  And she's under the impression that if a chicken eats manure their eggs are not fit to be eaten for the next ten days.  She finds Bella and rips her up onside and down the other.  (BTW, Hex is misinformed, the chickens aren't really eating poop.  They're getting the bits of undigested grain and other foods, plus eating any bugs that are there.  And none of this will harm the eggs.)

 

Bella is shocked and upset at this new source of animosity.  She seems stunned at hearing that the egg production for the next ten days is ruined and actually apologizes! 

 

Hex storms off to the fire telling everyone that's there what Bella did.  Red is delighted!  Kristen starts making fun of Bella, and everyone laughs.

 

Hex goes into the barn (we need to find a better name for the barn-like structure that the people are living in).  She's telling that bunch about Bella's mistake and they're mostly happy at Bella's miserable morning.  Amanda says nothing, just flosses her teeth.

 

Bella is trying to catch the chickens and failing because she's never really handled them before.  Hex is back and starts in on Bella again.  Bella says she doesn't have time for this because she's trying to get the chickens back into their pen.

 

Hex tracks down Mike and starts to tell him about Bella and he's just brushing her off.

 

These people really need to grow up and chill.  Then they need to start learning what the hell they're supposed to be doing here.  I think the problem is that they were dangled a $1000 a week stipend to go and live in Utopia for a year.

 

They never bothered to consider that each person has a different idea of what Utopia is.  Each of them is working toward their idea of Utopia and angry when they realize that this or that person isn't following their own personal script.  The few that seem to get it are being worn down by their own imperfections and having to deal with other people who are so far from them in their beliefs that no one can get centered.

 

By 8:30 AM Bella's off by herself having a breakdown and talking to herself.  Hex has given up working in the barn.  Now she's off digging a ditch with Rob and Josh.  (Gotta dig a ditch so they can lay the gas line for the stove.)  The physical labor and being away from Bella and chickens has improved Hex's mood.  She jokes with Mike that he's selfishly handsome.

 

Back at the fire, Kristen is annoying me with her fakeness.  She sits there with Red and they make fun of anyone Red doesn't like.  She's a real brown noser.  She also has an annoying habit of calling everyone her buddy.  "Yeah buddy! I'll do that for you!"  "Awww, thanks buddy!"  "Whatcha need, Buddy?"

 

9:40 - Bri just pulled herself out of bed.  Just in time for breakfast.  Oatmeal and scrambled eggs.

 

At 10:45, Bri calls Farmer Lefty to ask him to pick up a bag of feed for them.  She says she's done with the chickens until he arrives.

 

Bella's helping Chris with his garden by telling him "You till the soil while I alphabetize the seed packets." 

 

There are flies and maggots everywhere in the animal barn because no one has been cleaning it well.  Lefty told them yesterday to move the manure pile a distance from the barn, and to move Bella's compost piles.  He told them to give the stalls a good cleaning with lime and to clean the stalls at least once a day.  He gave them instructions, but Bri doesn't want to follow them unless someone else does the actual work.  She completely tuned Lefty out and now everyone's trying to piece together what he said. 

 

It seems that Bri is not what she presented herself to be.  All she wants to do is be with Chris, have sex with Chris, and if he's off doing real work then she wants to sit and talk about Chris or sit and daydream about Chris.  Chris and Hex are much more concerned about the situation than she is.  Chris actually talked to Bri about stepping up and doing her job, but she just let it slide.

 

Bri's talking on the phone to a vet about the cow situation, they're losing weight and something else is off about them.  The vet asks if they've been using bug spray near the animals (they have, but now Bri's lying about it).  Bri hasn't milked the cows in a week but doesn't want to admit it so she's lying about the milking times and all.  She was told yesterday that cows need to be eating while they're being milked, but Bri didn't listen.  Now the vet's saying the same thing and Bri still isn't listening.

 

The group had a meeting to discuss finances.  Bri mentioned the vet would be out on Monday, didn't mention the vet bill.

 

Kristen has a plan to let people pay to tell them off.  Basically for a fee a person could send the Utopians a video telling them exactly what that person thinks of them.  She calls it playing to the haters.

 

lol, some of the Utopians have got to be suddenly worried about what the viewers think of them!

 

Just after 1 PM, and Red's leaving again.  He's given his 24 hour notice.  Yawn.

 

Dede takes a refreshing shower.  She's blurred.  Feedsters wept.

 

Producers have changed their minds about making the Utopians hand over $1000 for a Mac computer chosen for them by Production.  Basically the group is running out of money, so Bri called the computer warehouse number given to them by Production.  She actually had to call them twice because she accidentally hung up on them once.  I tell you this in order to illustrate Bri's priorities.  After hanging up on the guy, Bri fiddled with her eyemakeup before calling him back.  Finally they struck a deal for a Mac computer for $460.  This is apparently a very good price.  Bri might think to tell someone of this coup, but first she goes back to putting on her makeup.

 

The irrigation specialist that Nikkie called is there.  Bella's showing him the garden.  She's thrilled to be talking to someone that isn't currently mad at her and it's making her quite a bit flirty.  Poor guy.  He gets out of there without even measuring the garden area.  I bet that the next time someone from Utopia calls about his estimate he'll make it super high so they won't bother him again.

 

Josh hid the communal peanut butter because Bri kept putting her spoon in it, licking the spoon, and then going for more peanut butter.  She's eaten half the jar.  Bri's pretty angry, so she's trashing Josh to Red and Kristen.  She's calling him racist and a sexual predator.  She says that Josh tried to rape Hex on the first night.  (He tried to kiss her, but she was in no further danger because everyone was already there and trying to get Josh to go to bed).

 

The group has found that they spent a lot less money on the computer than originally intended, so their immediate thought is to spend that saved money.  Josh wants to paint their living quarters.  Amanda wants to buy countertops to replace the plywood they're currently using.  Nikkie is on the phone trying to order locally grown organic produce from a shop in Beverly Hills, of all places.  I hope someone stops her before she pays $20 for a head of lettuce.

 

Around 8, some of the guys put on a drag burlesque show for us (and the rest of the group.)  Rob played the guitar, he's good.  Josh and Mike dressed up and shook themselves around a bit.  Aaron tried to sing, he probably shouldn't do that again.  Chris sang one of his songs.  They had a pretty good time overall.

 

The evening is winding up.  People are getting ready for bed and having small random conversations with each other.  Red says he's going to start making moonshine.  And maybe some banana brandy.

 

Hex is making preperations to go deer hunting in the morning.

 

Dede and Mike have been trying to have sexy times, but Mike's being a little camera shy, then they got interrupted by Bri and Chris.  They're finally doing the deed, but the sound has been killed.  Never fear, somewhere Bri is complaining to Chris about everything she can think of so the sound of Bri complaining is layered over the video of Dede and Mike.  Surreal.  Good thing it's dark.

 

Down by the pond, it's now Bri and Chris's turn.  They do the same bad porno as every night, with Bri giggling constantly and Chris chewing his gum the whole time.

 

Day's over!

Edited September 11, 2014 by Zahdii

[DeLurker]

Chickengate!

 

I'm guessing Utopia is not Cowtopia (thank you for that OttoDbusdriver!) and we won't be getting that standard ASPCA/American Humane Association notice that no animals were harmed in the filming of this drek.

Edited September 11, 2014 by DeLurker

[ProfCrash]

Production is thrilled with these half assed idiots because production chose them. They probably could have selected someone who had been in 4H or worked on a farm but they choose a Vet Tech who works with dogs and cats to look after cows and chickens. And she is more interested in sex then in working with the animals. They choose a crazy prepper who apparently learned about fluoride from Dr. Strangelove who cannot garden, knows nothing about chickens and wants to buy a water filter to remove fluoride from the water. They choose a four time felon with anger problems and who loves prison food. They choose a hick with no teeth and no work ethic.

 

Yeah, this is exactly what they wanted. Now what the hell happens? Is the idea that they let all the nut jobs quit and bring in people who are less crazy and see what happens when they have to fix all that is wrong?

 

None of these people think they are building a society because they know that they are not. Production interferes with everything and they can call in experts from the outside any time. Why bother doing much when you know you will be bailed out. Hell, it is a vacation. For some it is a pretty place to do yoga and chill, just avoid the crazy people which seems easy enough. For others, it is an easy pay check as long as the show is on. A few others might think that they are going to take it seriously but that is not going to last.

 

Poor cows and chickens, I hope that they are removed sometime in the near future.

[DeLurker]

 

And she is more interested in sex then in working with the animals.

I misread this and it turned into "And she is more interested in sex  with the animals".  Which was appalling (but funny).  An animal rights group needs to shut this thing down before it gets to that..

[green]

Thanks, Zahdii.  Your re-caps are far far better than the show. Love your wit.  And it made the TV broadcast Tuesday look totally given a fantasyland "spin" after reading what was really happening.  Like parallel universes in motion. 

 

The TV version showed the intrepid pioneers aspiring and completing many a task as they build a better society with a few "quaint" humorous moments by the silly billy and his street wise buddy as they purloin the loot from the safe.  It was scary to actually see one of Bella's "I, me, my" sessions but otherwise it was a real snooze-fest.  All while hosted by some guy who looks like my stereotype image of an online pervert.

 

So I much much prefer reading your insightful and funny logs here then actually watching these people appear on my TV.

 

PS:  Wonder if the producers are going to have to do something about the very real abuse of the cows.  The thing about live feeds is that if a cow dies or that one loses her calf there is no real way they can hide it because even if they remove the cameras from that area it will be noticed by live feed viewers that they did remove cameras from that area.  My guess is the cameras will be cut just long enough daily for some poor production intern to go running in there and feed and milk the cows and sweep the barn for these idiots.

Edited September 11, 2014 by green

[riverheightsnancy]

Personally, after having read Zhandi's great recap, I am becoming very concerned for the animals and it is upsetting me quite a bit. I give it one or 2 more days (because this is a live feed) and if they do not start to act more responsible and caring for Christ's sake, I will personally, start emailing & calling PETA, and the ASPCA in that area. I have absolutely NO TRUCK for people who willingly hurt children or animals. When Michael Vick did what he did with the fighting dogs, I was one of the many who personally called the NFL to protest his being allowed back to play. It may not sound like a lot, but I cannot allow myself to know that these animals are suffering and I watched and attempted to do nothing. They put this on a live feed and I refuse to be a bystander! 

[Rapunzel]

I agree with all of the concern for the animals. At this point Production needs to get them out of there so they can be properly taken care of and never return them to these asshats again or they need to give them a list of the tasks that need to be done every day related to the animals, assign those tasks, and tell them that if they fail to complete even one of the tasks they forfeit some portion of their stipend and/or they'll remove them and replace them with a new Utopian. It seems money and/or the possibility of becoming some kind of reality star are the only things that will motivate these idiots so they need to take away the things that matter the most to them in order to get them off of their lazy asses. I think at this point though the safest and best thing for the animals is to remove them altogether.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Rapunzel

[ottoDbusdriver]

Well done, @Zahdii, love the recaps.

 

I could understand if they had solar panels or windmills for power sources, so that they were truly independent of the outside world, but the fact they seem to have unlimited electricity and now an unlimited propane source for the stove they bought is kind of ridiculous.

 

If they buy an appliance (stove, microwave, laptop, etc.), they should be forced to pay for the power for it out of the $5K.  Same goes for the computer they bought, they should have to pay for Internet access.  Because that money would disappear fast, and then they would have to fend for themselves.  How long before these clowns order an air conditioner for the barn ?

 

But I don't think that production thought that far ahead -- and will probably give them anything they ask for just so they won't leave (like the seemingly unlimited supply of alcohol).

 

ETA: When is Red going to leave ?  He gave his 24 hours notice yesterday, or is this just his daily threat to leave ?

Edited September 11, 2014 by ottoDbusdriver

[backformore]

Hell, they could call for pizza delivery every night and still not run out of money.  It's not like the network is going to let people starve to death.  At least, not while the cameras are working!

[Zahdii]

Yes, IMO the few mature ones are overwhelmed by the toddlers and the famewhores.

 

As for the animals, I wouldn't mind at all if PETA showed up.  Maybe having an authority who wasn't there for airtime or laughs and giggles would knock some sense into some of these yahoos.  Fox sending in Farmer Lefty, didn't do the trick.  Time to ratchet things up a knotch.

[green]

They will probably write it into their script that the bozos decide to hire Farmer Lefty to do all their chores in return for free nude yoga lessons while the producers pay the guy under the table.  Mytopia, building a better world for Fox, cows and the nude yoga business all at the same time.  At least that would be the TV telecast version of it.

Edited September 11, 2014 by green

[GaJenn]

Thanks also Zahdii!  I have also been captivated by the live feed but I could never do a recap like you do! 

Red gets on my friggen nerves! He never works, expects equal of everything and doesn't want to share. He's a douche.  I also saw him  hanging over Nikki's shoulder while she was trying to price things and again while she was ordering.  She's too nice, I would have told him off, but she politely gets up and moves to another spot so she can have some space, he again follows and is less than 3 inches away from her.  Is he afraid she won't order him his crap food?  For someone who can't tolerate gluten, he sure does order some shit food!  He's so full of it! I'm so over Bella too, she does absolutely NOTHING!  She thinks she knows it all and refuses any other input on her "expertise", all she does is dictate, I'm over her!  That is all, I'm glad I found the live feed, it's like a train wreck, I cannot look away!  Oh! looks a little like Mike and Hex are gonna get cozy :-)

[Rapunzel]

Oh! looks a little like Mike and Hex are gonna get cozy :-)

Please say this isn't so. He's already sleeping with Dede and I know Dede is polyamorous so she probably won't care, but still it's starting to get gross. This just seems like it's going to turn into one big orgy rather than the true "social experiment" they were intending. They might have to move this show to Cinemax at this rate.

Edited September 12, 2014 by Rapunzel

[Rahul]

The brand new guy has his eye on Hex too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzkgRxb08HM

 

Zahdii, much thanks for daily recaps. They're far more entertaining than actually watching this dreck.

[Pollock]

Wednesday - 9/10/2014

 

Newsflash:  on Friday 9/12 feesters will be treated to Nikkie's first yoga class!  From 4 - 7 PM Pacific Time a group of people from the outside will be allowed into the compound and on camera to get a yoga lesson, followed by a tour of the compound.  For more info, go to:  http://www.utopiatv.com/news/detail/619/namaste-utopia-is-open-for-business and if you decide to attend, let us hear about your experience.

Time for local animal activists to do a covert operation. Cough up a few dollars and go shame the utopians about cows and chickens. 

 

Zahdii, thank you very much for the recaps ! 

[hincandenza]

Zahdii should be getting double hazard pay for this recapping business.  And Zahdii, I want you to know that as much as we all enjoy your recaps, please don't burn yourself out watching too much of this crappy show.  You don't owe us that!

 

Wait, so who the heck is the new guy Taylor Vaughn?!  I thought they were only bringing in new people once a month, other than the Kristin/Rhonda duo that basically were meant to replace the woman who was booted just before shooting.  Did they already take my idea in the episode 2 thread of doing more frequent refreshes before the contestants kill each other, or those poor animals?

 

Finally, nthing this unforgiveable absurdity, because it's not even the first time Zahdii's recaps have noted that Bri outright lies about tending to the animals:

 

At 10:45, Bri calls Farmer Lefty to ask him to pick up a bag of feed for them.  She says she's done with the chickens until he arrives.

I'm... I'm sorry.  "Done with the chickens"?  What the hell... lady, you can't be "done" with them, those are living creatures and they are your responsibility!  You can't just stop feeding or caring for them because you don't want your hands getting dirty!!!

 

Bri is now my absolute least favorite Myopian (Utopian -> MyTopian -> Myopian. Because these imbeciles are unbelievably short-sighted).  Many of these people are comically stupid, but really the only harm they'll do is to themselves.  But Bri, she misrepresents her skill with animals and accepted the responsibility to look after them... and now she's apparently neglecting to feed or care for them.  She ignores Farmer Lefty's advice, then somehow feels he should be responsible for the animals- "pick up a bag of feed"?!? he's not your personal assistant, you useless ho-bag- and to top it off, apparently lies through her teeth about the animals and their "care", when those lies could make a huge difference in assessing and treating their growing health issues.

 

Not, I suppose, that any of this will make the shiny happy TV broadcast.  But this place has already lost one chicken, which is looking less like a fluke with what we know now. I'm with the rest of you: if another animal dies or suffers needlessly because these clowns, or Bri in particular, are too busy partying, drinking, and spending their cash like it'll never run out, I want animal cruelty and neglect charges pressed on her, John de Mol, and the producers.  Because that is some BULLSHIT.  Sickly, starving cows who did nothing wrong to anyone?!  

 

These sociopaths are probably going to blow through their little remaining money by early next week, then run out of food, then stick out their hand for more... and when the producers finally say "no", they'll all just walk out, cash their few weeks' of stipends, and go on with their lives.  But those poor animals, they aren't going to survive another couple of weeks at this rate. 

 

Pardon my length, and my forceful language, but I am goddamn fucking irate and raging right now.  The animals need to be removed from the show for their own safety, and treated, and the contestants thoroughly scolded on air for their behavior.

 

Unbelievable.  I need to go for a walk before I punch my monitor.