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Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets


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32 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

7

And likely that is going to be it for her.  She seemed to have every intention of outdoing Michelle and now she's going to have to settle for 7 kids.  I wonder which bothers her more?  Her innocent victim husband being in prison or that her babymaking days are probably over?

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1 hour ago, Bethany said:

And likely that is going to be it for her.  She seemed to have every intention of outdoing Michelle and now she's going to have to settle for 7 kids.  I wonder which bothers her more?  Her innocent victim husband being in prison or that her babymaking days are probably over?

Probably the fact that she only has 7 kids. 

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1 hour ago, Bethany said:

Her innocent victim husband being in prison or that her babymaking days are probably over?

I doubt she's acknowledged yet that 7 is going to be her final number.  Josh is innocent, you know, and is going to be released from prison soon and the family growth plan will be activated again.  Even if she's beginning to accept Josh is going to spend time in prison, I doubt she believes he'll serve all 12 years or that she'll be infertile by the time he gets out.  

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I would love to know where Anna is at. Is she still full of hope as she waits for "the rest of the [Josh] story" to unfold? Has she reached any sort of realistic acceptance of what the next ten years and after will look like?

Or maybe, just maybe, she's starting to see IBLP was built on a foundation of straw.

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8 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I would love to know where Anna is at. Is she still full of hope as she waits for "the rest of the [Josh] story" to unfold? Has she reached any sort of realistic acceptance of what the next ten years and after will look like?

Or maybe, just maybe, she's starting to see IBLP was built on a foundation of straw.

I think Anna is a True Believer and will cling to her faith, as she knows it. And unfortunately, that's Gothard indoctrination that she's never veered from. 

Edited by Salacious Kitty
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On 6/8/2023 at 10:14 AM, Notabug said:

Anna and the 7 kids are all living on the Duggar compound under JB's 'umbrella of protection'. 

I throw up a little in my mouth thinking about Jim Bob claiming to protect anyone.

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4 hours ago, AgathaC said:

Yes, I’m also the oldest of a large family with 11 years between baby sis and me. I changed a lot of diapers, helped get little ones dressed and, once I could drive, picked the occasional sister up from school. (I did get paid to babysit, though.)

 I have no issue with older siblings helping. I learned responsibility and developed very deep connections with my youngest sisters as a result. But I wasn’t even close to being a mom to them. My parents were always the first line there and the oldests got called up only when Mom and Dad were otherwise occupied. And if we had plans or homework, that came first.

What the Duggars and their ilk do is awful, both for the older daughters and for the younger kids. There’s no way a child can provide truly good, competent parenting.

The other advantage of being one of the eldest of a busload of kids is that you can earn a decent amount of money babysitting other people's kids.  We lived in a condo when I was a teen and there were 3 of us girls, all in our teens, all with experience from newborns on up.  We would put our names in the monthly condo newsletter for babysitting and we'd be turning jobs down right and left.  All 3 of us could've worked every single Friday and Saturday night as well as several nights during the week if we'd wanted to do it.

I also agree with the deep connections that form when you care for a younger sib.  I went away to college when my sister was 2; she doesn't remember when I ever lived at home.  Yet, she and I are very close, texting often several times a day, seeing each other at least weekly.  She joined my parish so we could go to church together.  Her birth, when my parents were in their 40's, almost 10 years after their first batch of kids; actually added a lot to our family.  We all enjoyed her so much and had a lot of fun watching her grow.

Unfortunately, the Duggar kids are actually discouraged from being close because they are supposed to be tattletales and rat out anyone who isn't toeing the line.  Also, have to be the parent instead of a helpful older sibling also prevents a really close sibling bond from forming.  For most of us, someday our parents will be gone and our brothers and sisters will be the only link back to our childhood; it means a lot to be close to sibliings later in life.

Edited by Notabug
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2 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

I throw up a little in my mouth thinking about Jim Bob claiming to protect anyone.

Oh he protects some of them.  If they are boys. So Anna might get some protection as she birthed him some grandsons 

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2 hours ago, Notabug said:

Unfortunately, the Duggar kids are actually discouraged from being close because they are supposed to be tattletales and rat out anyone who isn't toeing the line. 

UGH. Worse and worse.

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3 hours ago, Notabug said:

 Unfortunately, the Duggar kids are actually discouraged from being close because they are supposed to be tattletales and rat out anyone who isn't toeing the line. 

I recall reading that they also discouraged closeness (at least between brothers and sisters) to avoid more Josh-style trouble. Which is just sad and disturbing.

I don’t have brothers, but I have friends who do and are close. The brother-sister relationship can be a great, rewarding thing.

My youngest sister cried at the mention of “the C word” (college) for the whole summer after my high school graduation. But it was because she knew she’d miss me — not because she was afraid no one would take care of her.

These people truly suck.

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11 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I have a NYT subscription and can "gift" the article. But the link is only live for two weeks from today - so if you click it after June 28 or 29, you're probably SOL. Here's the link, shortened by bitly: https://bit.ly/3NvLaQP. I've never tried this before, hope it works, and please be gentle with me if it doesn't; I'll try to fix it if I goofed.

Thank you so much for sharing that article! It was excellent and said many of the things I've felt but struggled to articulate.

This series has been troubling to me because I've realized that many things and people in my growing-up years were more Gothard-adjacent than I ever realized... so thankful my parents had the wisdom to spot the crazy and stay away! My mother shared the story of being interested in using ATI materials (she hadn't looked at them much yet, this was preliminary) but finding out that in order to use them, my father would have to shave his beard. He was willing, but she told him that if those people thought they could tell a person's character by their facial hair, she wasn't interested in what they could teach her kids.

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If the producers are granted a Part 2, I would like them to explore the IBLP as it is now, under the leadership of the new board, including Gil Bates. 

The IBLP has rebranded the Basic Seminar and is holding a get together in August for people to attend in Big Sandy. Brandon Keilen, Michael Bates' husband, is going to be headlining. Their very own Joshua Generation. 🙄

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4 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

If the producers are granted a Part 2, I would like them to explore the IBLP as it is now, under the leadership of the new board, including Gil Bates. 

The IBLP has rebranded the Basic Seminar and is holding a get together in August for people to attend in Big Sandy. Brandon Keilen, Michael Bates' husband, is going to be headlining. Their very own Joshua Generation. 🙄

The Bates absolutely need to be exposed. 

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16 hours ago, Notabug said:

The other advantage of being one of the eldest of a busload of kids is that you can earn a decent amount of money babysitting other people's kids. 

Which the kids in IBLP would never be allowed to do.   1) girls can't have their own money they might use it to get away 2) they would only be allowed to babysit other IBLP families (the ones with kids too young to take over the job or only boys) which then it would be their duty to God and they should do it for free to honor God and 3) it would only be IBLP families because if they babsat other families they might -- gosh - get exposed to other ways of thinking.  

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13 hours ago, AgathaC said:

My youngest sister cried at the mention of “the C word” (college) for the whole summer after my high school graduation.

I know you are probably being facetious, but thinking that the “C word” is “college” is so Duggar-esque. 

12 hours ago, Starry-Eyed said:

My mother shared the story of being interested in using ATI materials (she hadn't looked at them much yet, this was preliminary) but finding out that in order to use them, my father would have to shave his beard.

Wha? Why are beards bad? I thought most fundies like beards because they’re natural and biblical. I mean; Jesus had a beard. Most traditional religions espouse beards.

(I find it amusing that one of the click-bait ads at the bottom is “Most Christians Can’t Pass This Bible Test, Can You?”)

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9 minutes ago, Shermie said:

Wha? Why are beards bad? I thought most fundies like beards because they’re natural and biblical. I mean; Jesus had a beard. Most traditional religions espouse beards.

I think as to IBLP it's all down to Bill Gothard's preferences. Long curly hair for women and short hair, clean shaven faces for men. Remember, this all started back in the 60's. I was a teenager then. Guys who had long hair and beards were outside the norms of white Protestant culture at the time, i.e, part of the whole threatening Satan-driven hippie culture. Gothard hit on the brilliant plan of appealing to the fears of parents that their kids would be corrupted by drugs, sex, and rock and roll, and ruin their lives. It was all legalistic and control-driven, but it appealed to a lot of well-meaning people who truly wanted to protect their kids in the face of cultural changes that felt threatening. 

TBH Gothard's personal preference for the long loose banana curls on women, was a bit advanced from the sprayed-in-place helmet hair that women sported in the late 50's and 60's. (I always think of Margaret Thatcher in that regard, lol.) Some of the older women shown in IBLP film clips in this show, had stiff short helmet hair instead of the banana curls. 

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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

I think as to IBLP it's all down to Bill Gothard's preferences. Long curly hair for women and short hair, clean shaven faces for men. Remember, this all started back in the 60's. I was a teenager then. Guys who had long hair and beards were outside the norms of white Protestant culture at the time, i.e, part of the whole threatening Satan-driven hippie culture. Gothard hit on the brilliant plan of appealing to the fears of parents that their kids would be corrupted by drugs, sex, and rock and roll, and ruin their lives. It was all legalistic and control-driven, but it appealed to a lot of well-meaning people who truly wanted to protect their kids in the face of cultural changes that felt threatening.

 I think this is it, exactly.

I too find it idiotic that having the same hairstyle as Jesus wasn't considered Christian enough.

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On 6/13/2023 at 8:02 PM, LilyD said:

The kids had no need for money as they couldn't go shopping and weren't allowed the things a typical teen spends money on (like gadgets and fashion) So I don't think they felt like they missed out on anything.

If the sums were large, they should have been set aside for savings for the children's use as adults.

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IBLP is like a bad dating relationship. Starts out good, so many things in common, so many things shiny and happy and then the red flags start popping up. Unfortunately for some the red flags aren't red flags at all.

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I also feel like the modern trendiness of beards throws off perception of beards. When I was growing up in the 90s, I don't remember many adult men with beards at least around me in general. Then when I was in college in the early 2010s, it seemed like they became a thing again overnight, without any counterculture associations, and suddenly everyone and his brother had a beard.

So, Gothard's fixation about no beards probably wouldn't have seemed like a big deal to a lot of IBLP followers in the 80s and 90s. 

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6 minutes ago, Zella said:

I also feel like the modern trendiness of beards throws off perception of beards. When I was growing up in the 90s, I don't remember many adult men with beards at least around me in general. Then when I was in college in the early 2010s, it seemed like they became a thing again overnight, without any counterculture associations, and suddenly everyone and his brother had a beard.

So, Gothard's fixation about no beards probably wouldn't have seemed like a big deal to a lot of IBLP followers in the 80s and 90s. 

IIRC, Don Johnson having a barely-there beard on Miami Vice was new and a big deal and a trend setter. But yea, not many beards back then.

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3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

IIRC, Don Johnson having a barely-there beard on Miami Vice was new and a big deal and a trend setter. But yea, not many beards back then.

Yeah when I was a kid, my great-uncle Bruce was the only person I knew with a beard, so they were out there but nowhere near as ubiquitous as they seem to be now. I could probably count on one hand the number of my male peers who are cleanshaven and have been for the past decade, including attending a religious college with its fair share of fundies. They really love their beards now. 😂 

Edited by Zella
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Regarding the older girls mothering the young ones, I remember the very first People magazine piece on the Duggars many years ago.  There was a quote from one of the older girls (they didn't name her, just referred to her as one of the older girls) and she said (I'm paraphrasing) something like, "I wish we wouldn't have to always be taking care of our sisters and brothers."  (I'm sure that was said out of the hearing of Michelle or JB.)  So, the older girls had to put on a sweet demeanor and pretend they didn't mind the childcare, but they (at least some of them) actually minded a lot.  I'm sure there was a lot of resentment that they had to constantly tamp down.  How draining it must be to constantly squelch your emotions for fear of landing in hell.

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Omigosh. I meant to mention this in my earlier posts here.  SHP shows several shots of Meech looking adoringly up at JB while he blathers on. It was a bit of a jolt. We've snarked about that adoring gaze for years but TBH I hadn't actually seen it in ages. I *loved* that they showed it, several times. It's creepy - and says a lot without words. Heh.

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1 hour ago, MamaGee said:

My husband, who was one in the military, had always said not to trust any organization that utilizes fake military uniforms. Every time they showed those in this docuseries, he screamed "fake uniforms!!"

ALERT is paramilitary garbage. Unlike the real military, which pays you, ALERT is pay to play. 

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I'm rewatching this.  In part one, Michelle announced her 20th child was on the way.  Several of the kids looked pretty grim about yet another kid, and who could blame them?  

7 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

Regarding the older girls mothering the young ones, I remember the very first People magazine piece on the Duggars many years ago.  There was a quote from one of the older girls (they didn't name her, just referred to her as one of the older girls) and she said (I'm paraphrasing) something like, "I wish we wouldn't have to always be taking care of our sisters and brothers."  (I'm sure that was said out of the hearing of Michelle or JB.)  So, the older girls had to put on a sweet demeanor and pretend they didn't mind the childcare, but they (at least some of them) actually minded a lot.  I'm sure there was a lot of resentment that they had to constantly tamp down.  How draining it must be to constantly squelch your emotions for fear of landing in hell.

That is so sad.  The threat of hell on those young people is sickening.

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12 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

I'm rewatching this.  In part one, Michelle announced her 20th child was on the way.  Several of the kids looked pretty grim about yet another kid, and who could blame them?  

That was a very telling clip.   You could literally see the kids, both boys and girls, thinking "not another one."  

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21 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Omigosh. I meant to mention this in my earlier posts here.  SHP shows several shots of Meech looking adoringly up at JB while he blathers on. It was a bit of a jolt. We've snarked about that adoring gaze for years but TBH I hadn't actually seen it in ages. I *loved* that they showed it, several times. It's creepy - and says a lot without words. Heh.

Especially since he does blather on.   He’s one of those that I say when they answered the call to Ministry, it was a wrong number 

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Yeah, “answering the call” is often code for “I’m doing what I want but I’m telling people God told me to”. Our church supported a missionary couple years ago (something I’m ambivalent about already), and everything went wrong as they prepared for their trips - passport problems, visa issues, not enough money fundraised, etc. But they kept encouraging the church to keep praying so they could do God’s will. Hub and I said, “I think God is telling you quite clearly NOT to go.” I mean, read the (prayer) room, people.

Showing clips of the Duggars grocery shopping makes me twitchy. If they want to use canned food, fine, but why are they buying cases of little cans when you can go to wholesale places and get giant cans of vegetables, fruits, sauces, beans, soup, etc. Why open 10 little cans when you can open 1 big one? We did that for when I was a caterer all the time. Seems so stupidly inefficient.

That creepy adoring gaze stood out to me too. Gross. Deep down, is she thinking, “Will he ever shut up?” Can she keep up that facade forever?

You usually see young women in these documentaries about fundies, of childbearing age (20-45). What happens to older women? Are they put out of sight because they’re not useful (fertile) anymore? Do they maintain that long curly hair into old age? Are they allowed to go grey? Funny how you don’t see many older women on these shows. 

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1 hour ago, Shermie said:

You usually see young women in these documentaries about fundies, of childbearing age (20-45). What happens to older women? Are they put out of sight because they’re not useful (fertile) anymore? Do they maintain that long curly hair into old age? Are they allowed to go grey? Funny how you don’t see many older women on these shows. 

IBLP started in the 60s as a youth/teen ministry and evolved into a family cult/ministry gradually. I'm guessing most of the older/oldest women aren't a lot older than Michelle.

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On 6/17/2023 at 1:36 PM, GeeGolly said:
On 6/17/2023 at 12:22 PM, Shermie said:

You usually see young women in these documentaries about fundies, of childbearing age (20-45). What happens to older women? Are they put out of sight because they’re not useful (fertile) anymore? Do they maintain that long curly hair into old age? Are they allowed to go grey? Funny how you don’t see many older women on these shows. 

IBLP started in the 60s as a youth/teen ministry and evolved into a family cult/ministry gradually. I'm guessing most of the older/oldest women aren't a lot older than Michelle.

Possibly, but someone who was a teen in the 1960s would be well into their 60s now. And you’d think some people would have roped their parents into the cult at some point. 

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On 6/15/2023 at 8:30 PM, Salacious Kitty said:

I think Anna is a True Believer and will cling to her faith, as she knows it. And unfortunately, that's Gothard indoctrination that she's never veered from. 

It's all she knows and this cult does everything to limit exposure to 'normal' society to a bare minimum. Your family and community will make sure of that. She knows little about "normal" life outside the Gothard cult and has probably learned from an early age that we're dangerous and wrong in every single way. She doesn't know any better. The documentary clearly showed the strong hold this cult has over its followers. Obedience is enforced if necessary. 

I really think we shouldn't underestimate the pressure she is under. This cult will do everything they can to convince her of her own fault in Josh's downfall and the responsibility to be a meek, faithful and obedient wife. If this is the only thing you'll hear over and over again from your parents, family, friends, counselors and the church, you will believe it eventually.They'll also crush any doubts and ideas she might have about running away. If it is necesssary to use manipulation, blackmail or threats, they will. 

It's easy to condemn Anna and be disgusted by the "choices" she's made. She doesn't have a free will and never taught to think or speak for herself. Anna is the perfect example of what a Gothard education and his life principles can do to a woman....

 

 

 

 

 

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On the Prime Video YouTube channel, there will be a Shiny Happy People Aftershow livestream today, June 21, at 8PM Eastern time.  Several people who were in SHP - including Amy and Deanna - are listed in the description as participating. Oddly, to me, the host will be Roberta Blevins. She's the "plaid shirt" former LLR hun featured in LulaRich. She does SM including podcasts about the downsides of MLMs. I don't know that she has a background in the fundie world. Hmm. I suppose we'll see. 

 

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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

Oddly, to me, the host will be Roberta Blevins. She's the "plaid shirt" former LLR hun featured in LulaRich. She does SM including podcasts about the downsides of MLMs. I don't know that she has a background in the fundie world. Hmm. I suppose we'll see. 

Sounds like Amazon seeing an opportunity to cross-promote content more than anything. In her Reddit AMA, the SHP producer said she went to Amazon partially because of its work on stuff like LulaRich, and recent news articles have claimed SHP was the most watched thing ever on the platform, above LuluRich and it's brought in lots of new subscribers. My guess is Amazon is hoping her appearance on an afterprogram as a host may intrigue some of these new viewers into checking out LuluRich (and other Amazon content). But that's purely a guess. 

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1 hour ago, Zella said:

Sounds like Amazon seeing an opportunity to cross-promote content more than anything. In her Reddit AMA, the SHP producer said she went to Amazon partially because of its work on stuff like LulaRich, and recent news articles have claimed SHP was the most watched thing ever on the platform, above LuluRich and it's brought in lots of new subscribers. My guess is Amazon is hoping her appearance on an afterprogram as a host may intrigue some of these new viewers into checking out LuluRich (and other Amazon content). But that's purely a guess. 

I thought cross-promotion too. I've read that SHP came from the same producers as LuLaRich. So maybe they're kinda keeping it in the family or something. 🙃

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17 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I thought cross-promotion too. I've read that SHP came from the same producers as LuLaRich. So maybe they're kinda keeping it in the family or something. 🙃

Aha I must have misinterpreted their comment about LuLaRich on the AMA because I hadn't realized they were involved in that (or I read it and promptly forgot. LOL) But yeah if they're the producers on it, I am even more convinced it's cross-promotion! Maybe it wasn't even Amazon's idea and was theirs. 😂

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5 hours ago, Jeeves said:

On the Prime Video YouTube channel, there will be a Shiny Happy People Aftershow livestream today, June 21, at 8PM Eastern time.  Several people who were in SHP - including Amy and Deanna - are listed in the description as participating. Oddly, to me, the host will be Roberta Blevins. She's the "plaid shirt" former LLR hun featured in LulaRich. She does SM including podcasts about the downsides of MLMs. I don't know that she has a background in the fundie world. Hmm. I suppose we'll see. 

 

Thanks for the link. I missed the first group (survivors?), but the second segment was quite enlightening. Amy and Deanna really didn't add anything, glad the I segment was short. Going back in to watch the first 15 minutes. 

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10 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Thanks for the link. I missed the first group (survivors?), but the second segment was quite enlightening. Amy and Deanna really didn't add anything, glad the I segment was short. Going back in to watch the first 15 minutes. 

You're welcome. Yes, Deanna and Amy were the weakest part and I'm also glad they weren't on very long. I thought the other two segments were very good, everyone was articulate and respectful. I wondered if I'd find it a waste of time but I didn't. ETA: Roberta Blevins is an active podcaster and I think was a good choice as the host/moderator. She's not involved with these issues so wasn't inserting her own comments, just facilitating the discussion.

Edited by Jeeves
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On 6/16/2023 at 8:18 AM, Jeeves said:

You're welcome. And thanks to @skatelady for alerting us to it - I merely added an access method.

 

You're very welcome. And thank YOU for alerting me to the gift option - I had no idea there was such a thing!

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22 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Gothard is clueless. He will never acknowledge the harm he has wrought.

Did he even watch it? I’m not going to use Twitter to find out. 

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(edited)
32 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Did he even watch it? I’m not going to use Twitter to find out. 

If I were to guess, I'd say he hasn't seen it. His gut brain is responding with persecution word salad. 😂

He got roasted in the comments, led by Famy. 

 

Edited by Salacious Kitty
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