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Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

JTMacc99

By JTMacc99
in Everything Else

Mod-Tigerkatze
Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

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Mountainair
Mountainair

Whew… I know I don’t post often enough to leave a mark on anyone’s memory here but I just got cell service back today after dealing with Helene.   Was finally able to watch news coverage and the dev

Bethany
Bethany

We have to take my late sister's dog in to be put down today.  He's really suffering and it's his time.  But that doesn't make it any easier.  I know this sounds silly but it's like having to say good

isalicat
isalicat

At the risk of being banned, I will comment that all this (especially the earning of "badges" for virtuous behavior) is so kindergarten level. If you give me dark chocolate, I will promise to do bette

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theredhead77

theredhead77

Responding here from the peeves diversion into discussion about adult swim lessons  

52 minutes ago, PRgal said:

My eczema doesn’t flare up like it did when I was a kid and my seizures are under control, but I’m too ashamed to register for lessons as a beginner. People with my upbringing all know how, except me.  I just don’t want people to find me weird. 

FWIW, you are far from the only adult who doesn't have basic survival swim skills. If you sign up for an adult swim class you won't be the only adult there who doesn't know how to swim. And if you sign up for private lessons, you won't be the only adult the instructor has for a student. It could literally save your life.

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nokat

nokat

2 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Responding here from the peeves diversion into discussion about adult swim lessons  

FWIW, you are far from the only adult who doesn't have basic survival swim skills. If you sign up for an adult swim class you won't be the only adult there who doesn't know how to swim. And if you sign up for private lessons, you won't be the only adult the instructor has for a student. It could literally save your life.

Thanks for moving the discussion. Where I used to live, knowing how to escape a rip tide was very important.

We are mostly very buoyant, so you can float to the top and and lay there if you don't fight it. I would lay there floating on gentle lake waves for an hour.

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nokat

nokat

Just now, Browncoat said:

I was so skinny as a kid that I didn't float easily.  It took real effort, and I never got good at it.  And not floating easily made swimming a chore, so I never got good at that, either.  Although I suspect I would float quite well these days!

Hee, I'm floating more easily too. I was a skinny thing but could still float. You have to not panic when the water is up near your nose.

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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

8 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I was so skinny as a kid that I didn't float easily.  It took real effort, and I never got good at it.  And not floating easily made swimming a chore, so I never got good at that, either.  Although I suspect I would float quite well these days!

I'm still the same weight I was in high school, but when I started trying to swim again in my 50s I discovered I could float. 
A few years ago while floating between laps at a beach on Lake Michigan, an obnoxious dude skipped a stone next to me. As is my custom, I ignored him. When I walked past him and his girlfriend(?!?) later, he shouted, "How are you so good at floating?" I hollered back to him over my shoulder: "Osteoporosis." 

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PRgal

PRgal

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

Responding here from the peeves diversion into discussion about adult swim lessons  

FWIW, you are far from the only adult who doesn't have basic survival swim skills. If you sign up for an adult swim class you won't be the only adult there who doesn't know how to swim. And if you sign up for private lessons, you won't be the only adult the instructor has for a student. It could literally save your life.

I might not be the only adult without basic survival swim skills, but I'm definitely the only (or at least, one of few) from my circle.  And that makes a big difference.  I can't go to my local pool, whether it be at the community centre or at my club and tell them about my situation because, well, it's seen as odd.  That's the difference.

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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

6 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I might not be the only adult without basic survival swim skills, but I'm definitely the only (or at least, one of few) from my circle.  And that makes a big difference.  I can't go to my local pool, whether it be at the community centre or at my club and tell them about my situation because, well, it's seen as odd.  That's the difference.

I hope by giving voice to your concerns here, they might start to look more manageable. ❤️
Perhaps start by calling your club and asking if they offer any adult swim classes.

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peacheslatour

peacheslatour

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

I hope by giving voice to your concerns here, they might start to look more manageable. ❤️
Perhaps start by calling your club and asking if they offer any adult swim classes.

I was wondering, if her son swims, she could get the shallow end with him and he could show her how to float and not be afraid.

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theredhead77

theredhead77

(edited)
1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I might not be the only adult without basic survival swim skills, but I'm definitely the only (or at least, one of few) from my circle.  And that makes a big difference.  I can't go to my local pool, whether it be at the community centre or at my club and tell them about my situation because, well, it's seen as odd.  That's the difference.

People will think positively about someone who is learning how to save their own life. It's not your fault your parents never taught you this basic life-saving skill. I encourage you to put your discomfort aside, no one is going to look at you funny, and do it, if not for you, for your son. It's literally only too late when you're drowning because you don't know how to rescue float.

Look for private lessons. The City of Toronto has a variety of offerings, including private lessons. https://www.toronto.ca/data/parks/prd/swimming/reg/learn/index.html

Here is another organization offering adult swim lessons:
https://davinasswimhouse.com/adult-swimming-lessons-toronto-north-york/

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/it-s-never-too-late-adults-take-beginner-swim-classes-1.3639273

 

Edited by theredhead77
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SoMuchTV

SoMuchTV

(edited)
2 hours ago, PRgal said:

I might not be the only adult without basic survival swim skills, but I'm definitely the only (or at least, one of few) from my circle.  And that makes a big difference.  I can't go to my local pool, whether it be at the community centre or at my club and tell them about my situation because, well, it's seen as odd.  That's the difference.

@theredhead77 covered a lot of what I was going to say, but please don't assume what people in your circle might assume or think about you.  If one of your friends was the only one who didn't know how to drive, or to fix a toilet, or to use Excel, and they wanted to learn, would you judge them, or would you say, good for you for going for what you want to learn?

I'm not sure if your "circle" means close friends, or other moms at the swim club, or something in between, but in any case, don't let them get in your head.

FWIW, I took swim lessons as a kid but it never "stuck".  At age 30, I took an adult swim class at the YMCA and I was definitely not the only one!

Good luck!

 

Edited by SoMuchTV
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kristen111

kristen111

16 hours ago, Bastet said:

If she does, they might not be into dolls.  Or she might have a grandson or more who is.  (Kids aren't rigidly constrained by sexist gender roles until we do it to them. ) If it turns out no one is interested, she can always chose to donate the toys to an organization that will distribute them according to interest and need.  So the collection can still wind up in interested hands, even if outside the family.

This is true.  She is the type to donate.

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PRgal

PRgal

(edited)

"Circle" basically means people I know/peers who grew up middle class in Toronto in the 80s and 90s.  Immigrant or not, swimming was an "expected" extra-curricular activity.  And if you're an immigrant from an East Asian country, you add language/cultural classes and piano (and maybe violin) to that as well.  Non-East Asian (or South Asian)?  I'd definitely say sleep away camp.  

Edited by PRgal
Laura Holt

Laura Holt

23 hours ago, PRgal said:

My friend's son inherited all her Cabbage Patch Kids.  He kind of abuses them, but he DOES play with them.  He doesn't want her Barbies though.

My son had a Cabbage Patch kid that he called Baby (he still has it) but Barbies? So not interested.  He was actually pretty awful - he liked pulling their heads off.  The poor things ended up with very short necks as the heads never fit back on properly.

shapeshifter

shapeshifter

1 hour ago, SoMuchTV said:

I took swim lessons as a kid but it never "stuck".  At age 30, I took an adult swim class at the YMCA and I was definitely not the only one!

I had the same experiences. I think I was maybe 32 when I took adult swim classes at the local pool in a rural town in California with no YMCA. 
I didn't get very far with it, but it gave me confidence in the water.

Then, at about age 50, I started driving the 2 miles to the Lake Michigan beach on my lunch hour just to watch the waves.

That summer, I started walking along the beach barefoot. 

Eventually I started going a little deeper, and then paddling around a bit. 

The different swim strokes I had "learned" as a small child came back to me, and I found one I was comfortable with: the breast stroke. 
I like to be able to see what's going on around me.

The first 2 years I would mostly walk on the beach and swim for 10 minutes.
Eventually I worked up to as much as an hour. 

Now that I have a condo with a pool for a few months out of the year, I try to swim most of those days for 30 minutes. 

My goal after the pool closes is to try the YMCA. I've never swum indoors and am a little anxious about it, especially because I swim breast stroke instead of freestyle with my face in the water.

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partofme

partofme

I think all swimming lessons, adult or child, should be individual one on one lessons and not group lessons.  I took group swim lessons as a child of about 6 or 7 and I never learned.   I remember them wanting us to reach down to the bottom of the pool to pick a penny off of the floor and there was no way in hell I was going to do that, I was terrified of putting my head under the water.   And there were so many kids (at least 10) and only one instructor that they never noticed I didn’t do any of the things we were supposed to do.  

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Laura Holt

Laura Holt

2 minutes ago, partofme said:

I think all swimming lessons, adult or child, should be individual one on one lessons and not group lessons.  

Total agreement but the problem is $$.  When we gave our kids swimming lessons I'd have loved to get them one on one  but we simply couldn't pay the extra cost.  That said, at least where we sent them, the class topped out at IIRC 5 kids, 10 seems insane to me for beginner swimming! 

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EtheltoTillie

EtheltoTillie

(edited)

@PRgal putting in some more info about swimming.  You simply should make this a priority, as a matter of safety.  You don't have to have the intention of swimming laps for exercise.   Don't be afraid of looking weird to others.  As everyone has remarked, no one will actually judge you.  Don't be afraid of the actual swimming either.   I learned to swim from my father at a local pool we went to a lot.  My father was a competitive racer.  I never did that, and I don't swim laps for exercise, but I learned how to do all the strokes and clearly to stay up without sinking.

When I was very little, they put me in the pool with a floatie tube.  This kept me from being afraid.  It's like bicycle training wheels, as you have learned how to paddle around.  Later I easily progressed to swimming without the tube.  

I believe there is no need to go right to the skill of floating without the tube and putting your head in the water.  That is how they teach in regulation swim classes for kids, and in my view it's not a good way to teach nervous adults.   Nowadays, you can use a styrofoam pool noodle in shallow (standing depth) water and learn the feeling of floating and not being afraid. Then it would be easy to progress to the next step.  Is there a friend or family member with whom you could go to a pool with a styrofoam noodle and stand in shallow water and then just get the feeling of floating?  If you're in standing-depth water, there is nothing to fear.  You can just put your feet down.

Let us know how you fare.  You might enjoy it. 

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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EtheltoTillie

EtheltoTillie

On 7/24/2023 at 3:17 PM, partofme said:

I think all swimming lessons, adult or child, should be individual one on one lessons and not group lessons.  I took group swim lessons as a child of about 6 or 7 and I never learned.   I remember them wanting us to reach down to the bottom of the pool to pick a penny off of the floor and there was no way in hell I was going to do that, I was terrified of putting my head under the water.   And there were so many kids (at least 10) and only one instructor that they never noticed I didn’t do any of the things we were supposed to do.  

Yes, as I noted a few minutes ago in my previous post, regulation swim classes are just bizarre.  There is no need to teach anyone how to go to the bottom of the pool to pick up a penny before learning to really swim.  I'm still scared to do that or dive in head first.  But I can jump in.  The goal should be to learn dog paddle/floating. 

I'm with you, @shapeshifter.  I can do breast stroke without getting exhausted.  I have never been able to do the crawl without feeling completely exhausted after three strokes.  Too much going on. 

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Quof

Quof

I learned to swim at a community pool (unheated!) at age 6, and swam all day long every summer for several years.  I would walk there myself at the crack of dawn, coming home only at meal time.  No adult ever checked on me, but there were lifeguards.  Simpler times.

No one else in my house could swim. When we went to campgrounds or hotels, I headed for the pool.  My father would sometimes come along, and I assume he could have pulled me out if necessary. 

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Gramto6

Gramto6

(edited)

I "learned" to swim in high school. Never was around a pool as a child and I was truly afraid of the water. You had to pass the class as part of graduation requirements. The thing that scared me the most was having to jump into the deep and and swim to the side to pass the class. The only stroke I was comfortable with was/is the side stroke and I just barely passed the class.

I don't go swimming now as an adult but I do know how to float, tread water, dog paddle and the side stroke to get myself out of any trouble I may come upon. Basically, water is nice to look at but I don't find it fun to be in it other than wading on the beach...

Edited by Gramto6
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EtheltoTillie

EtheltoTillie

(edited)

@Gramto6 that’s a great reminder for side stroke. It’s easy for people to do.  When I went to summer camp we had to pass a distance swimming test to be allowed to take a canoe out on the lake—50 laps of the dock area. But I did it using side stroke.  It was practically a cake walk.  I was so proud!  Only a few of us managed to get canoe and kayak status.  They also made us demonstrate how to turn over the canoe and get back in. We still had to wear life preservers while using the canoes. 
Nowadays I just float around with my styrofoam noodle to cool off in the heated pool. I can’t believe we used to swim in the icy lake!  

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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EtheltoTillie

EtheltoTillie

(edited)

Speaking of swimming, and having to jump in the deep end of the pool, here's one of my favorite comic scenes from one of my favorite movies, The Trouble With Angels, where Hayley Mills and June Harding have to pass the swimming test after avoiding swim class for four years.

Go to 9 minutes on this video.

 

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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ABay

ABay

I don't remember not being able to swim. We used to camp in The 1,000 Islands (origin of my username) when I was an infant and apparently I liked to roll my carrier/stroller/thing into the St. Lawrence. We also went to a lot of beaches on Lake Erie in the 60s and 70s, before the Clean Water Act. It's a miracle we don't all have 3 eyes and a tail.

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ECM1231

ECM1231

Our little village had a pool, and I was probably around 6 or so when I started to take swimming lessons. My cousin, 9 months younger, was in my class. I remember the lessons were early morning and the water was always freezing. Our classes weren't super small; perhaps there were 10 or so children.  There were tests you had to pass before going on to the next level. I remember for one level we had to jump into the 12-foot-deep water, where the 3 diving boards were located. There were 2 low boards, and one extremely high diving board. In order to pass and progress to the next level, we had to dive into the deep end, tread water for a certain amount of time, and then swim back to the ladder. I remember my cousin being petrified and was the last in our group to do it. At one point I was feeling confident in my abilities and wanted to show off and dive off the low board. Well, I jumped off and began to swim. About midway between where I'd jumped off and where the ladder was, I started to panic. I hadn't realized the distance I'd have to cover. I started flailing. The lifeguard seemed not to notice. My dad was on the side and dove in and rescued me. It would be a while before I felt confident enough to jump off the diving board and swim in the deep end.

My mom, born during the Depression, was a city kid. She never learned to swim or to ride a bike. However, she was able to float. She didn't like putting her face in the water, but she just loved floating on her back in our town pool. She'd even go into the deep end. It was crazy how unafraid she was to just be floating and not know how to swim at all. 

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peacheslatour

peacheslatour

Quote

Our little village had a pool, and I was probably around 6 or so when I started to take swimming lessons. My cousin, 9 months younger, was in my class. I remember the lessons were early morning and the water was always freezing. 

My Red Cross classes were like that. I remember standing in the front yard talking to my mom as she was gardening and telling her it was too cold to go in the lake. She ended up buying me this gigantic beach towel I could wrap up in before swim classes. But once you get used to the water, it was lovely.

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jennifer6973

jennifer6973

18 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Suburban kid who never learned how to roller skate or ice skate. I'm not the most athletically inclined person. I did love bike riding and could even ride 'no hands' style, for a bit. 

I took swimming lessons at the local park that had an indoor swimming pool.  They started in January and one week I had a cold and didn’t want to go in the water, but my brother wouldn't go in unless I did, so I did and I got a little sicker after that.

 

 

I went roller skating and ice-skating once with the Girl Scouts.  Roller skating ended up with falling down on a wheel.  And Ice skating I rode around the wall.  Until I had to go around a group of people hogging the wall.

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isalicat

isalicat

I can't remember not knowing how to swim as I grew up in Las Vegas and it was so hot 9 months out of the year that if you did not want to stay indoors all day most of the time, you learned to swim so you could hang out in the pool. By the time I could walk (apparently - I don't remember this but there are corroborating photos), I would fling myself off the side of the pool at my dad, who would catch me and turn me over on my tummy to learn to keep my head up and take a few baby strokes. By the time I was 3 I was swimming confidently on my own but this may be partly genetic: my mom was an Olympic class competitive swimmer in NYC as a teen and only did not go to the actual Olympic trials because her father disapproved of female athletics past a certain point (it interfered with his plans for her to go to secretarial school and help support the family right out of high school). My parents were really into water skiing on Lake Mead which I loved. I swam competitively a bit but I am extremely nearsighted and could not see well enough without glasses to judge when to do the turn/flip at the end of each lap so stopped competing in junior high (took up figure skating!). My son is a very good swimmer and on our recent trip together to Hawaii went out so far into the ocean I was quite concerned that if he got into trouble, I would not be able to rescue him, but nothing untoward occurred, praise God!

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PRgal

PRgal

2 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

My Dad made sure we could all swim and ice skate by the time we started school.  He was an athlete in his youth (Captain of the hockey team, lifeguard in the summers kind of thing) and he expected us to follow suit.  He was doomed to disappointment.  

Well, you can't NOT take skating when you're Canadian.  Sadly, my life in figure skating was short-lived.  I was getting very good at it, but my parents put an end to it once I had my first seizure.  They're probably right.  What if I get sick mid jump?  

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Cloud9Shopper

Cloud9Shopper

Ended up talking to a friend from church about how I felt about the wedding. My friend isn’t in the bride’s friend group, so to speak, but is in the choir and isn’t a very gossipy person (she’s quieter and tends to keep to herself) so I felt safe talking to her. She told me that she is going to the ceremony only because she is setting up the live stream of the ceremony (which she does for every weekly Mass anyway) and that she didn’t get invited to the reception. I don’t think I’m as hurt now that I think about how tacky it is to ask someone to set up the Facebook stream of your wedding ceremony but then not even invite them to the reception! Especially when they’re in the same group where most other members got invites. I realized that says a lot more about the bride than it could about anyone she didn’t invite. 

My mom also reminded me that it’s just a day and that Sunday after the wedding will be back to normal. I feel like I may still be a little bummed when I see the pictures (FOMO, knowing I was excluded when most of the choir was going) but overall I realized the bride is still semi immature and not perfect, and that doesn’t change just because she’s getting married. And if I ever get to have a wedding myself I will know how not to behave. :)!

 

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supposebly

supposebly

I grew up in Germany an area filled with small lakes that would warm up quickly in the summer. Not being able to swim was unheard of. My mom took me swimming from a very early age on. She still swims as much as she can in the summer. 

Another sign of the end times, this year our natural outdoor pool is closed because they can't find anyone to supervise. And in true German bureaucracy, it has to be someone with the rank and certificate of a Bademeister (pool supervisor?). No, the Red Cross lifeguards are not good enough.....

Now, at least while I'm there, I can be with my mom swimming in another lake but I hope they will open again next year, so I don't have to worry about my mom who, well, she's getting on in years and I would like to know that someone can help just in case something happens while she's in the water.

I actually never swam in an actual pool with chlorine water until my town got an indoor pool when I was maybe about 10?

I learned to swim by one day being so annoyed with the swimmies? water wings? when I was 5, so my friend and I took them off and just swam without them. We then went somewhere and left them at the edge. Imagine the heart attack my mom had when she saw them lying there with no children in sight.

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Leeds

Leeds

On 7/23/2023 at 5:15 PM, shapeshifter said:

 

My goal after the pool closes is to try the YMCA. I've never swum indoors and am a little anxious about it, especially because I swim breast stroke instead of freestyle with my face in the water.

Good for you for sticking with the swimming.  I wish I didn't find it so boring or I might be able to convince myself to do it because I know it's great low-impact exercise.  My local pool has a big pool and enforces good "pool etiquette" to ensure different styles and speeds are accommodated; hopefully your Y is the same.  Perhaps you could go as a "spectator" to see how things work there?

Incidentally, my local centre also has a small warm water pool and offers various aquatics exercise classes.  I went to a "non-strenuous" one for a while after I hurt my ankle that was really helpful.

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Mod-Tigerkatze
Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

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