Love After Lockup: Season 5 LIVE CHAT

[OoogleEyes]

"Job searching"

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nathan bought an alarm clock to avoid any further curfew confusion.

[Keywestclubkid]

we went to some lakes we went to some parks... MMMhmmm 

[LEILANI2]

I pray he doesn't let Skylar take out life insurance on him.

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, goofygirl said:

Shawn's the one who gets everybody within 5 feet pregnant.  Has 5 or 6 kids? Never sees any of them? Never married their mom with the blue or pink or purple hair?

I hate Shawn so much 

[Pepper Mostly]

3 minutes ago, TooMuchRealityTV said:

My program guide is saying 10:45.

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

1 minute ago, OoogleEyes said:

"Job searching"

Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays? 

[kacesq]

Mom was humiliated. Yes, Mom…that’s the important part here…how you felt.

[LEILANI2]

Yea because you're repeat offender daughter is a sweet innocent angel.

[Keywestclubkid]

how humiliating for YOU? ...I can see why she would turn to drugs with a mom that says things like that 

[candall]

I have the sense that kid composed his little speech in advance.

[OoogleEyes]

Oh, so THAT'S a neck beard

[Pepper Mostly]

Skylar's mama would like to speak to the manager. 

[SemiCharmedLife]

Not only has he bought the ring, he has bought the RING BOX!!!

[Keywestclubkid]

I mean not to be rude but her brother looks like hes done some drugs himself 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 minute ago, Keywestclubkid said:

how humiliating for YOU? ...I can see why she would turn to drugs with a mom that says things like that 

You have just met my mother, by proxy. 

[Empress1]

Just now, Keywestclubkid said:

I mean not to be rude but her brother looks like hes done some drugs himself 

And he sounds like Boomhauer 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Well, the previews make it look like love conquers all. Hahaha.

[TooMuchRealityTV]

3 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

Looks like we have been pardoned. The last 15 minutes are preview for some other show I refuse to watch.

[Pepper Mostly]

Well bunkies, its been a gas, as usual! Happy new year to all, here's hoping 2023 brings us more sanity and peace and justice in the world. I love you all. MWAH!

[candall]

Ten times out of ten, I don't get my last amusing pithy comment in under the wire, so I'll just say Happy Ne

[SemiCharmedLife]

I wish everyone the happiest of New Years!  My resolution is to stay one step ahead of the law and narrow down my prison beaus to a solid dozen.

[Gobi]

After tonight's episode, maybe it should be called the Department of Erections, am I right?

Happy New Year! Remember to date inmates responsibly.

[goofygirl]

Well peeps, another successful snark session! Hope all of you have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!   Big hugs!!

Edited December 31, 2022 by goofygirl

[Empress1]

Happy new year! Here’s to more ex-con fuckery in 2023.

[LEILANI2]

There's 15 minutes of commercials and five minutes of actual show footage.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Have a happy and healthy new year, Luvs. As my mother always used to warn, “Watch out for drunk drivers.” Once again, I invoke my list of resolutions, which include “watch more crap tv” and “be more judgmental.” I try not to set myself up for failure. See you all in 2023!

[Floatingbison]

bye everybodies!  Have a safe NYE!

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Bunkies,

We are closing out the year, but not the season. 

Chris and Gabby got married in the most pathetic ceremony ever seen, even for this show, and that bar is very, very low.  Gabby has a secret.  Of course she does.  Who doesn't? 

JustSmug has shown she can cover herself up.  However, she will only do so if she is wearing an outfit that matches Michael's. 

Monique and Derek did the nasty after Monique finished her snipe fest with Derek's sisters (and remarkably quiet other family members).  Derek called her a BBW, "big black woman".  He somehow forgot beautiful.  But he is along for the ride. Whereas Monique's sister showed us that your booty can really draw in some leopard print booty shorts if you try hard enough and Derek's sisters decided that picking your brother up from prison in the morning means you should wear the tightest dress you can find - extra points for pointy boob flaps instead of a top. 

Ashley threatened to flood the entire state of Florida with her tears.  If she had an upside down umbrella tattoo it would be overflowing. While Travis professed his love in ways that made us all think, "Really?  Have you been brushing up on Hallmark sayings?"  Let's just say there was not a feeling that he is all in. 

More than one ex-con professed they wanted to bust their love's ass wide open.  More than one con lover found that romantic.  Aris was not among them.  Meanwhile Cameron wants to wear her like earmuffs. He sees it as the perfect follow up to littering and planticide. 

Nathan is in fluv with a woman who seems to have all of the charm (and voice) of Destinie, a long term major drug habit, and a string of dead exes.  He is thinking white picket fences and romantic picnics under the stars.  She is thinking don't fuck up or I'll slice you. A match made somewhere but certainly not heaven. 

Until next time, keep your velour tracksuit lint free, polish up your 2 lb. chains, start curing the sugar and tomato paste to make some tequila or vodka or whatever other liquor we were told it would taste like, and do not forget to check in to the halfway house on time.  If you go back in, you might get put in the SHU and miss the next snarkfest.  

[PrincessPurrsALot]

S05.E04: Ditched and Dismissed

Quote

Justine & Michael’s mom get heated; Nathan shocks Skylar at her release.

Original air date 2023.01.06

[lamujerdecente]

I got a new job and haven’t been able to sign on here for my Friday night treats from the commissary. But a bish got off early today and here sipping my white tequila I made from fermented sprite and green apple slices. It taste like the best tequila Evah. I missed ya bunkies. Like just smug misses a boob sling. 
mike is hot (small voice)

Edited January 7, 2023 by lamujerdecente

[OoogleEyes]

Happy New Year! I wish a healthy year to you all. Keep your eyelashes on and the pruno chilled.

[Gobi]

I made a New Year's resolution not to watch reality shows about delusional losers.

D'oh!

[Keywestclubkid]

This call is from a corrections facility ...... I lost track of time hanging around some parks and lakes but I am here checking in 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Hey kids, there’s a new dance craze called the Pump Pump Swirl.

[OoogleEyes]

Speaking of walks in the park.... My 600lb Life is back on Wednesday nights with WATN episodes. Come join us for a live chat!

....we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming....

[Auntie Anxiety]

Can’t wait to hear Skylar nagging him all through his romantic proposal.

[kacesq]

Hello bunkies! My favorite night of the week is here! 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Did everyone bring a secret to share with the group tonight?

[kacesq]

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

Can’t wait to hear Skylar nagging him all through his romantic proposal.

This show teaches us all what romance is…

[Pepper Mostly]

Hola bunkies! Took me a few minutes to get my six inch lashes and eight inch nails on, but I'm here and ready to rumble! Lets do this!

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Did everyone bring a secret to share with the group tonight?

Pass me the talking stick first. 

[kacesq]

Justine looks thrilled. I guess she expects Michael to not spend time with his bestie.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Justine bristles when someone tries to steal the spotlight away from her.

[Gobi]

Is that Mocha Swirl?

[kacesq]

Is that Michael’s mom asking how the sex was? My God people. We don’t need to know everything. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Oh yeah, the big professional music mogul has "the studio all set". Snort. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Just now, kacesq said:

Is that Michael’s mom asking how the sex was? My God people. We don’t need to know everything. 

They think we do. 🤷‍♀️

[Pepper Mostly]

Just now, kacesq said:

Is that Michael’s mom asking how the sex was? My God people. We don’t need to know everything. 

Then she says her son will tell her anyway! Who ARE these people?

[candall]

47 minutes ago, lamujerdecente said:

I got a new job and haven’t been able to sign on here for my Friday night treats from the commissary. But a bish got off early today and here sipping my white tequila I made from fermented sprite and green apple slices. It taste like the best tequila Evah. I missed ya bunkies. Like just smug misses a boob sling. 
mike is hot (small voice)

Oh, no!  A new gig is in order.  It's not as good without you.

[OoogleEyes]

2 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Hola bunkies! Took me a few minutes to get my six inch lashes and eight inch nails on, but I'm here and ready to rumble! Lets do this!

Seriously. How do they attach lashes with those nails. I'd be poking myself, and not in a good way.

[Auntie Anxiety]

As if Mike has even thought so far ahead. Oh, yeah, the kids. Hmmmm.