S04.E14: Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. . . . and Mrs.

[Adeejay]

I have a feeling Roberta used that money to "disappear".  They will never hear from her again.  

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I guess I missed the money thing. Was the $9800 just the latest haul or was that Bert’s total winnings? Dannnnielllle ends up with the consolation prize aka Garrick.

More like the booby prize. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

3 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I hate to say it, but she won't fare well.  

Sorry to sound jaded, but it’s getting to the point that playing by the rules is for suckers. I play by the rules and have gotten screwed plenty of times.

[Pepper Mostly]

Where are they? The parking garage? 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nick’s father thinks that people might see Nick as a pimp, but he seemed so damned proud of his son.

[sainte-chapelle]

4 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I guess I missed the money thing. Was the $9800 just the latest haul or was that Bert’s total winnings? Dannnnielllle ends up with the consolation prize aka Garrick.

That was the latest haul. They were sending her thousands every few months.

[Grifter Lives]

I bet you that they professionally choreographed that first dance.

[sainte-chapelle]

Lolll at her ugly black sandals and love that they zoomed in on them

[Auntie Anxiety]

It’s not like there is anything legally enforceable about this marriage. Danielle can leave tomorrow.

[Pepper Mostly]

I consider myself an open minded person, and lord knows consenting adults can do as they will if it hurt no one. But my lord. 

[Grifter Lives]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Nick’s father thinks that people might see Nick as a pimp, but he seemed so damned proud of his son.

Nick has him mesmerized, just like the women.

[South]

CAAAAAKE

[Grifter Lives]

Why wasn't Danielle in that photo?

[sainte-chapelle]

Thé Merrifield idiots did not learn their lesson. A woman from Brazil…Jesus.

[Auntie Anxiety]

The Merrifields are back dating = There’s no arguing with stupid.

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

It’s not like there is anything legally enforceable about this marriage. Danielle can leave tomorrow.

That's why they're trawling for another wife!

1 minute ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Thé Merrifield idiots did not learn their lesson. A woman from Brazil…Jesus.

She's probably a friend of Bert's. "Chica, have a got a tip for you!" 

[sainte-chapelle]

Well I guesss that it is…hope to see some of you snarkers for all the 90 day messes

[Pepper Mostly]

Well peeps, its been a hell of a ride. Thanks for all the laughs! See some of you Friday for Love After Lockup! Have a great week, MWAH! 

[CSunshine76]

4 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Thé Merrifield idiots did not learn their lesson. A woman from Brazil…Jesus.

I laughed and laughed at that update. You can’t fix stupid!

[Auntie Anxiety]

This finale has raised the bar. The Merrifields getting ghosted has made my day. Merriment with the Merrifields. How smart are we to have called that weeks ago? The tipoff was that Bert didn’t rush out to get her visa because Covid? Her mother? Bad internet? Hahaha

I’ll be back next week for whatever the fuck they’re going to make me hate watch. Thanks for bringing it, friends. Great fun and huge laughs. Don’t forget to watch Inmate to Roommate—👍👍 Two Thumbs Up! Have an excellent week and be well.

[Meowwww]

Dannnnielle is over reacting.  Protesting too much.  My fake fake radar is on fire 

Editing now I’ve watched it all.  She’s mourning the loss of the money.  With fake tears. 

Edited September 6, 2022 by Meowwww

[suev3333]

Omg....what a sobfest.   I had to fast forward through this one.   I was sooo tired of watching Dannielllle wail and sob throughout the whole episode.    Ugh  🙄   you'd think she'd be glad she has "duh faced" garr to herself again.   I'm sure he's already trolling for a new piece of ass.

Nickat the ceremony:    "live, love, and just be happy in our life!   (Oh and also be happy I don't have to work,  cook,  clean or  raise the babies.  Woo hoooo!)"     He is just livin the dream, that Nick

[Chalby]

27 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I have a feeling Roberta used that money to "disappear".  They will never hear from her again.  

Good for her. Garrick and Danielle are the epitome of creepy.

[Adeejay]

What surprised me the most was that Garrick didn't shed a tear.  I thought he'd be the one doing most of the bawling.  But nothing.  However, he seemed angry and actually said that he believed she planned it all along.  It would appear the love is gone.  

[Chalby]

9 minutes ago, suev3333 said:

🙄   you'd think she'd be glad she has "duh faced" garr to herself again.   I'm sure he's alrea dy trolling for a new piece ass.

Nick at the ceremony:    "live, love, and just be happy in our life!   (Oh and also be happy I don't have to work,  cook,  clean or  raise the babies.  Woo hoooo!)"     He is just livin the dream, that Nick

Those women agreeing to support Nick's lifestyle make women look desperate and weak. Why can't they ditch Nick and just live together. They'd have more money.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

OH THE TEARS, THE GNASHING OF TEETH THE RENDING OF GARMENTS! 

Guess Dannnnnielle is the one being filmed because Garrick is too distraught. 

[Cancun]

I want to know if Ick sent the $9800, and then told Ddddddd afterwards. Maybe didn’t tell Ddddd until after they got the breakup text…had to confess a critical piece of evidence as they processed the aftermath. Just curious about the financial balance of power in their house.

Edited September 6, 2022 by Cancun

[Meowwww]

4 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

What surprised me the most was that Garrick didn't shed a tear.  I thought he'd be the one doing most of the bawling.  But nothing.  However, he seemed angry and actually said that he believed she planned it all along.  It would appear the love is gone.  

Yes!   He was dry eyed and calm.  So strange 

[magemaud]

59 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Lovely cinder block wedding venue. Bomb shelter?  

It reminds me of where 90 Day Emily and Kobe got married. It was an event space with an attached storage facility. 

[Cancun]

8 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

What surprised me the most was that Garrick didn't shed a tear.  I thought he'd be the one doing most of the bawling.  But nothing.  However, he seemed angry and actually said that he believed she planned it all along.  It would appear the love is gone.  

Didn’t they say Bert had initially texted Ick with the breakup, but the text we heard was one sent to Ddddd after she begged Bert to not do it?  So we don’t know what Bert said to Ick…and maybe it was something that fueled his anger vs. hurt. 

[South]

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

 I’m ready for my favorite craptastic show to start. And dressed for the not-really-a-wedding. I’m still waiting for Nick to give us just ONE pearl of wisdom. Maybe he needs to keep thinking.

I was more than a little stunned when he dropped the ball while trying to describe how beautiful Danielle looked on everybody’s special day.  I think he may have been reaching for Diana or Venus or maybe a Rubenesqe maiden.  But he flubbed.  Back to the books.

9 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Yes!   He was dry eyed and calm.  So strange 

While the extended circus gathered in the kitchen, it appeared that he reached for and held on to the neck of a large liquor bottle.

1 hour ago, Grifter Lives said:

Good thing that they didn't invest in Portuguese lessons

No shit!  That was close!

[Auntie Anxiety]

It just occurred to me that, because of Covid (how serendipitous), Bert was able to squeeze Garrick and Dannnnnielllllleee for two extra years! Talk about luck.🎰🎰🎰

[South]

1 hour ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Danielle dodged a bullet…doesn’t she realize Bert would have held all the cards? Perhaps her tears stem from the fact that Ick will find a way to blame her for Bert leaving the family.

You’re probably right.  Thus her performative breakdown.  “Can you see how much I wanted this for you, Us, you, uuu, well crap.”

[magemaud]

I wonder how much a ticket from Brazil to Colorado costs? Can they dispute the charge on their credit card? Did Bert take the money and run? 

Edited September 6, 2022 by magemaud

[goofygirl]

53 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I guess I missed the money thing. Was the $9800 just the latest haul or was that Bert’s total winnings? Dannnnielllle ends up with the consolation prize aka Garrick.

I think the $9800 was just the latest in the funding of Bert's family by the Ick family.  They probably don't even have a TOTAL of what they've spent in the last 3 years! DOAH!

[Auntie Anxiety]

9 minutes ago, Cancun said:

Didn’t they say Bert had initially texted Ick with the breakup, but the text we heard was one sent to Ddddd after she begged Bert to not do it?  So we don’t know what Bert said to Ick…and maybe it was something that fueled his anger vs. hurt. 

Dear Garrick,

You’re a fucking chump. I know a patsy when I see one and that’s why I’ve been stringing you along for three and a half years. Not only that, you idiot, but you and your creepy wife aren’t the only ones. I’m making out like a bandit.

So long, sucker.

Best wishes,

Roberta 

P.S. I actually speak perfect English, you asshole.

[South]

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Maybe Garrick will have to fly down to Brazil on his own to find out what’s going on?

Dannniellllle is the loser here. If nothing else, Garrick got some new vag.

I was thinking the same thing.  I can just see it, the wandering through labyrinthine streets, showing her photo to townies, only to see the sad shaking of heads. The taxi rides to addresses scribbled on scraps of wadded pieces of paper.  Phoning and phoning, to no avail.  Straight to voice mail.  Ick “I’m going to find her. I need to hear it from her lips.  She owes it to me to explain her change of heart”. Blah blah blah.  We’ve heard it from so many others.  But I’m down to see it again!

[Maybeitsme]

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I sat in disbelief at the Davis quazy nuptials.  from the "dressing" to the ceremony, it was GOLD.

Then the Merrifields, geez Dani get a grip.

But I suspect that was all an act. Her beloved got played and although they literally "paid" the price, she's glad it's over.

[magemaud]

Nick’s brother’s name is Chief? 

[magemaud]

9 minutes ago, South said:

I was thinking the same thing.  I can just see it, the wandering through labyrinthine streets, showing her photo to townies, only to see the sad shaking of heads. The taxi rides to addresses scribbled on scraps of wadded pieces of paper.  Phoning and phoning, to no avail.  Straight to voice mail.  Ick “I’m going to find her. I need to hear it from her lips.  She owes it to me to explain her change of heart”. Blah blah blah.  We’ve heard it from so many others.  But I’m down to see it again!

Don’t forget he’d be doing all this searching via a translation app. 

Would he take a bouquet of roses to a candy store and hope the proprietor recognized her photo? 

[South]

6 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Don’t forget he’d be doing all this searching via a translation app. 

Would he take a bouquet of roses to a candy store and hope the proprietor recognized her photo? 

You know he would.  At a certain point, there would be a driving rain as he pulled the collar of his ridiculous cowboy shirt tighter to ward off the cruel, wet beating of the Brazilian shower.

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

April, Danielle, and WhatsHerName think they are auditioning for the new Hobbit series.

Hell, I reckon I’d watch it.

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

She's probably a friend of Bert's. "Chica, have a got a tip for you!" 

By any chance, is her name Larissa? 

4 hours ago, Maybeitsme said:

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I sat in disbelief at the Davis quazy nuptials.  from the "dressing" to the ceremony, it was GOLD.

I must have a black heart because I laughed even harder at the Not-So-Merrifields. 

Edited September 6, 2022 by magemaud

[magemaud]

I think April looks much better with her hair pulled back rather than that weird diagonal part and swoop of hair plastered across her forehead. It was easy to pick her (real) sister out of the crowd. She looked just like her, down to the hairstyle. 

[magemaud]

I wonder if Danielle will try to recruit her friend Ariel as her partner. 

[South]

28 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I think April looks much better with her hair pulled back rather than that weird diagonal part and swoop of hair plastered across her forehead. It was easy to pick her (real) sister out of the crowd. She looked just like her, down to the hairstyle. 

Partner South asked me who she (April) was.  With her hair styled like that, it took me a hot minute to answer.

Just now, South said:

Partner South asked me who she (April) was.  With her hair styled like that, it took me a hot minute to answer.

Of course he asked while not watching.

[Shelbie]

It was bizarre that Ick (who cries a broken fingernail) stayed dry eyed about Roberta. I think he sent more money to Roberta that Dannnnielle doesn’t know about and is afraid she will find out. Roberta proving that she was only in it for the money must have caused him to realize that he is a complete idiot.

[bichonblitz]

How many more couples/lonely men was Bertie scamming? You know there's never just one. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Dannnnnnnielle's over the top histrionics, her shrieking and bawling baffled me, really. WHAT kind of hold did Bert have on her? They couldn't even speak to each other! For YEARS. She and Ick were to arrogant to try to learn Portuguese and Bert couldn't care less about learning English. Because money is the universal language. Dannnnnnielle is unhinged, she needs help. 

Ick, on the other hand, is now just furious that he'll have to start looking again for an espcicy Latina to add to his harem. Which he doesn't have yet. Heh. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

9 hours ago, magemaud said:

11 hours ago, Maybeitsme said:

I must have a black heart because I laughed even harder at the Not-So-Merrifields. 

Come sit with me. I have to rewatch the episode because it is going to turn my frown upside down for weeks to come. Whenever I’m out of sorts, I now know where to turn. Brazilian Bombshell? 🤣🤣🤣 As in, the Merrifields don’t know what hit them. 

Just a thought: Maybe the translator is their new Brazilian girlfriend? She was witness to Bert’s scam and can get pointers from her if needed.

[the-grey-lady]

15 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

OH THE TEARS, THE GNASHING OF TEETH THE RENDING OF GARMENTS! 

Guess Dannnnnielle is the one being filmed because Garrick is too distraught. 

WTF even was that?

Dannnnnielle's hysterics were...something. She's worried about how Bert will disappoint Dannnnnnnielle's parents?

"She never loved me"? Was Dannnnnnielle in love with her?