S04.E14: Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. . . . and Mrs.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

After their trip to Brazil to visit sister wife-to-be Roberta, the Merrifields eagerly prepare for her arrival; the Davises hope everything goes according to plan as they put together a commitment ceremony to celebrate their union with Danielle.

Original air date 2022.09.05

Bobblehead is "marrying" the Davises.  Nick's harem is growing. Expect incredible pearls of wisdom from Nick while Danielle bobs her head in an attempt to get her few working synapses to fire.  I'm sure we'll all find it a very emotional event.  Of course, those emotions will not be the ones they are hoping for.

Ick and Dannielle will be getting things ready for Bert's arrival.  Expect tears by the bucket.  

[magemaud]

I can't wait to get a better look at the Nick and the Sister Wives "wedding" attire. The women looked like some kind of forest nymphs, especially the pregnant one with her belly exposed, and Nick is looking extra "gangsta." 

added to note: I just got a pop up ad for birthstone engagement rings, hmmmm

and, I wasn’t disappointed! 

Edited September 6, 2022 by magemaud

[sainte-chapelle]

I hope Bert cashed in the ticket and ran away!

[Auntie Anxiety]

 I’m ready for my favorite craptastic show to start. And dressed for the not-really-a-wedding. I’m still waiting for Nick to give us just ONE pearl of wisdom. Maybe he needs to keep thinking.

[Pepper Mostly]

Hello all! I'm here, no idea how long I can hang but I'm in for every nauseating minute!

[EtheltoTillie]

You can’t imagine. 

I watch on D+

[Auntie Anxiety]

What happened? WHAT HAPPENED? We called it weeks ago. 

[sainte-chapelle]

Oh shitttt please ditch them Bert…yessssssss

[EtheltoTillie]

Fake crying!  

[Pepper Mostly]

OH THE TEARS, THE GNASHING OF TEETH THE RENDING OF GARMENTS! 

Guess Dannnnnielle is the one being filmed because Garrick is too distraught. 

[Grifter Lives]

Good thing that they didn't invest in Portuguese lessons

[Pepper Mostly]

Meanwhile Dannnnnnielle's parents are weak with relief. "Well, Mother, maybe now the kids will put this foolishness behind them". 

[EtheltoTillie]

Just now, Grifter Lives said:

Good thing that they didn't invest in Portuguese lessons

Stay tuned. 

[South]

Hilarious!

[sainte-chapelle]

I think this meltdown is coming from somewhere else….this dynamic is sick

[CSunshine76]

WHY is Danielle reacting as though someone suddenly died in a terrible accident? She didn’t want to share her nasty husband to begin with. I do NOT understand this reaction! Viewers saw it from a mile away!

[Auntie Anxiety]

Good thing they went through the divorce so Garrick could marry Bert. 

[EtheltoTillie]

Man they don’t get that this was a catfish. Dumbos. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

2 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Guess Dannnnnielle is the one being filmed because Garrick is too distraught. 

Was thinking the same thing, that Garrick was probably at some mental health facility on suicide watch.

[sainte-chapelle]

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

Good thing they went through the divorce so Garrick could marry Bert. 

That is probably what her tears are really about. She gave up her marriage….Derrick doesn’t seem that upset. This is bizarre

[Pepper Mostly]

Dannnnnnnielle is upset because now damp, weedy Garrick will expect her to put out every night. Seems to me she could butch up for the five minutes of sex and the half hour of weeping and praying. But maybe she's tired of that and wanted the break?

This poor kid is shell shocked. He sounds like a hostage. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nick is in touch with his feminine pimp side.

[Grifter Lives]

"Verbalizing our commitment in front of everyone" 

Nick: "It's so hard for me to put into words how I feel." 

At least he has the rhinestone shoes.

[sainte-chapelle]

Danielle dodged a bullet…doesn’t she realize Bert would have held all the cards? Perhaps her tears stem from the fact that Ick will find a way to blame her for Bert leaving the family.

[judylo]

5 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Stay tuned. 

Maybe Garrick will ditch Dannielle and move to Brazil?

[Grifter Lives]

Danielle: I couldn't do this without you guys.  

Of course not.  She may overtake Nick as thinker of big thoughts.

[CSunshine76]

What in the fresh hell is this crop top and pregnant belly outfit?! 

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Dannnnnnnielle is upset because now damp, weedy Garrick will expect her to put out every night.

I’d tell Garrick to go fuck himself.

[sainte-chapelle]

Why does she look like a belly dancer from a Star Wars film?

[Pepper Mostly]

Wife #1 (what's her name? April?) is really, really weird. She sounds drugged or something. Just not part of this world. 

Dear lord the getup on Preggo Wife. I am DEAD. 

Just imagine being a member of their family. I cannot EVEN.

[Adeejay]

Dannnielle can spare us the theatrics.  She knows good and well that she didn't want Bert to come to the U.S.  If she did, she wouldn't have told her that Garrick and Lea were "intimate", when all they did was kiss.  That he continues to send her money is mind boggling.

[South]

Are the bouquets cauliflower?

[CSunshine76]

Oh God, I love a 21 year old saying they never knew they could be this happy or love like this existed. Of course not, you are fucking 21. Go live your life instead of settling with this freak show family.

[sainte-chapelle]

1 minute ago, CSunshine76 said:

Oh God, I love a 21 year old saying they never knew they could be this happy or love like this existed. Of course not, you are fucking 21. Go live your life instead of settling with this freak show family.

Perhaps I bloomed late but I didn’t feel even close to ready for marriage until I hit 30.

[Pepper Mostly]

Garrick is simply beyond belief. "This was going to be your special room together"?? The fuck? What a fucking douchebag. He's determined to have a harem. What happens if (by some fucking miracle) he did manage to acquire his five wives? Would he just put a bunch of bunkbeds in that one room? Did he really think they'd all sit in there, braiding each other's hair and waiting for their turn with that soggy mushroom? 

[Auntie Anxiety]

We all sensed that Bert was pulling a long con and we were watching it from our homes. They were sending her and her mother money for three years? 🤣🤣 We said her mother didn’t seem very sick. Bert taking them on her own personal poverty tour was like a commercial, showing them why she needed them to continue to send in their donations. If they weren’t so stupid.......

[South]

9 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Good thing they went through the divorce so Garrick could marry Bert. 

For sure.  That was some good thinking.  Oh, Lordy, please don’t let Bert screw us over with a conciliatory phone call in the final moments tonight.  “Oh, husband and sister,  I’ve come to my senses.  I saw the photo of that pathetic kiss, and realize that only I will be the one to make my king snot all over himself.  Please send money.  Love love love, Bert, your manipulative betrothed.

1 minute ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Perhaps I bloomed late but I didn’t feel even close to ready for marriage until I hit 30.

And how long have these clowns been wooing her?  

[Pepper Mostly]

4 minutes ago, South said:

Are the bouquets cauliflower?

Well, you know that Nick is an original thinker. "You know, let's expand our definition of flowers. Cauliflower, for example, has flower right in the name!"

[South]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Garrick is simply beyond belief. "This was going to be your special room together"?? The fuck? What a fucking douchebag. He's determined to have a harem. What happens if (by some fucking miracle) he did manage to acquire his five wives? Would he just put a bunch of bunkbeds in that one room? Did he really think they'd all sit in there, braiding each other's hair and waiting for their turn with that soggy mushroom? 

You were going to steam your vaginas, and have pillow fights in lingerie in this room.  

Just now, Pepper Mostly said:

Well, you know that Nick is an original thinker. "You know, let's expand our definition of flowers. Cauliflower, for example, has flower right in the name!"

God knows he had the time to fully research the matter.

[sainte-chapelle]

There it is «  I got divorced for her » 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Maybe Garrick will have to fly down to Brazil on his own to find out what’s going on?

Dannniellllle is the loser here. If nothing else, Garrick got some new vag.

Edited September 6, 2022 by Auntie Anxiety

[Pepper Mostly]

Well, Garrick, she loved your checks. That's something. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Dannnieelllllle’s family takes numbers to say. “I told you so.”

[South]

11 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Wife #1 (what's her name? April?) is really, really weird. She sounds drugged or something. Just not part of this world. 

Dear lord the getup on Preggo Wife. I am DEAD. 

Just imagine being a member of their family. I cannot EVEN.

I’d be polite and congratulatory and dance the night away, but my internal facial expression!!!!!??

[Pepper Mostly]

Garrick is the undisputed king of the Derp Face. 

[sainte-chapelle]

Because she was using you for money

[goofygirl]

THIS!!! This is soooo very imaginative!!  Just think...  These doofuses BUILT ANOTHER HOUSE so that Bert and Dannnnnnnnnnnnielle would have a "special" room....

Hopefully, Bert's made her FINAL decision and she'll just fade into the woodwork.  The Merrifields MIGHT need to re-think this whole stupid game they're attempting to play!!

[Auntie Anxiety]

Dannnielllle, now it’s your turn to find a new brother husband. God wants it for you.

[South]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Dannnieelllllle’s family takes numbers to say. “I told you so.”

The line is forming around the block.  

[Grifter Lives]

Usually, God talks directly to Derrick.  This time, He's being cryptic, and it's stumping the Merrifields.  Dannielle immediately ruled out that Bert conned them, though.