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S04.E03: The Grand Opening


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Come for Nadja dealing with last-second complications to her nightclub opening, stay for Lazlo's evolving fathering to The Boy That Crawled Out Of Colin Robinson!

Also, Nandor tries to get a bigger dick from the Djinn, and Gizmo guides him into not getting the ironic ending. They failed . . . Nandor has a twenty-percent increase (as Lazlo might put it, he doesn't want for the wang anymore), but he winds up thinking of Guillermo every time he uses it.

That may me hope for Lazlo as a father figure. Of course, his charge is really trying his patience. It's one thing when Lazlo throws him in a dumpster and orders him to kill rats. It took a second of me seeing the boy fiddling with discarded Playbills to notice rats hanging out on his shoulder. Turns out Lazlo was just projecting what his father did to him. That probably didn't contribute to hm being a pompous asshole, though. Ditto for the sweet laser-dodging moves.

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Were they trying to steal a Venus figurine?

Ok, those rap lyrics were hilarious. And absolutely believable. I knew Dr familiar was going to end up dead. Seems most vampires besides Laszlo are partial to musical theater. Loved that the Djinn straight up admitted to fucking with people through their wishes. Guillermo muttered something about thinking of him during sex wasn't so bad. But we don't know how many improvements they made to Marya so now we can't track the wishes. 42 plus...

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When Guillermo and Nandor added the stipulation that the Djinn could not make everyone's dicks smaller in order for Nandor to have the biggest dick, I thought of Lazlo.  Lazlo would have been pissed if he had to sacrifice one millimeter for Nandor.  And knowing Lazlo, he would know immediately. 

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I watch this show with captions on, and baby Colin kept saying "Lazzo".  How random!  During my second watch of the episode, I saw that Guillermo was the person who left two comments on baby Colin's YouTube video.  He's probably the two subscribers too.

I think the dick changing wish negotiation went on for too long, but it's hilarious how the final wish turned out.

After they met the obstructive familiar, I laughed when Nadja and the Guide agreed that he had to die.  His death was hilarious too, just thrown away like garbage.

It was cool to see the gang rush forward to defend Nadja when she was thrown off the stage.

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44 minutes ago, peridot said:

I watch this show with captions on, and baby Colin kept saying "Lazzo".  How random!  During my second watch of the episode, I saw that Guillermo was the person who left two comments on baby Colin's YouTube video.  He's probably the two subscribers too.

I think the dick changing wish negotiation went on for too long, but it's hilarious how the final wish turned out.

After they met the obstructive familiar, I laughed when Nadja and the Guide agreed that he had to die.  His death was hilarious too, just thrown away like garbage.

It was cool to see the gang rush forward to defend Nadja when she was thrown off the stage.

I thought the dick wish was hysterical and I knew they would screw it up in the end! 

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I knew as soon as Nandor said he would think of Guillermo every time he used it that the Djinn would make it part of his wish.

Continuity issue though, just to be nitpicky. In S3E9, they were pretending Nadja had killed Nandor, and the other vampires wanted to see his penis because they'd heard it was enormous. Yet when they finally saw it, all agreed it was just average. So it doesn't seem like adding 20% to it would make it the biggest in the world. Maybe all those other stipulations kept it from getting that big.

I'm not sure how much mileage they can get out of the nightclub but all the opening night stuff was great. I'm glad they ate Fred Armison because I wouldn't want to see him back.

Young Colin continues to be hysterical, even better now that he has dialogue. I still think he's going to be another emotional vampire whether he's actually Colin or just some weird offspring. He's already boring people with his endless chatter about musical theater. He isn't draining anyone yet, though.

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I knew that the familiar was toast, him getting just tossed into the crowd and eaten was still darkly hilarious though. Nadja's vampire club is rough to a rocky start, but luckily tiny Colin Robinson showed up to save the day! Most vampires do seem to enjoy musical theater, they all seem to have a certainly flair for the dramatic after all. We saw the Vampire Theater, we know how much they love production values. I wasn't sure about young Colin Robinson, but he's been great so far, he and Lazlo make a great pair. 

Loved Guillermo cheering for the familiar at the show, and it actually was sweet how everyone ran up to help Nadja when she fell off the stage. Interested in seeing where the club is going and how long its going to last, the gangs plans rarely seem to go the way they hope.

I'm glad that Djinn is still around, I really like their version of a Djinn coming off like a long suffering middle manager stuck having to teach people ironic lessons via loopholes. Guillermo cut that "everyone gets a tiny dick" wish off at the last minute, but now Nandor has to think of Guillermo every time he uses his dick. I'm sure Guillermo is so sad...

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Laszlo with Tiny Colin Robinson has been surprisingly sweet so far in its own twisted way.  Obviously Laszlo being Laszlo says and does a lot of inappropriate things here, but you can tell that he really is trying to be something resembling a parental figure here and Colin does actually trust him in ways he doesn't with others.  I'm not sure how long this entire story is going to go for, but I've really been enjoying it.

Of course, Nandor would take "bettering oneself" as a way to ask to Djinn to get him a bigger penis since that's clearly the only thing that could improve his marriage.  And after he and Guillermo go all out at making sure all loopholes are covered, they blow it at the very end so that the Djinn is able to make him always think about Guillermo when he "uses it."  Hee!

Nadja's club is already up and admittedly not off to the best start, but a show tune singing Colin was able to help salvage it at the end.  Fred Armison was pretty much born to play an obnoxious familiar of a vampire hip-hop artist, who tries to use him for his own gain (including trying to give a three man jazz group their first big break.)

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18 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

Were they trying to steal a Venus figurine?

I love how perfectly in character it is for Laszlo to steal a fertility idol. "Can we continue with the crime?" is an all time Laszlo line, too.

9 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Young Colin continues to be hysterical, even better now that he has dialogue. I still think he's going to be another emotional vampire whether he's actually Colin or just some weird offspring. He's already boring people with his endless chatter about musical theater. He isn't draining anyone yet, though.

Anyone with kids that age will tell you that they're perfect energy vampires. Mark Proksch really nailed the cadence for a boy that age. And Colin's not just into musical theater, but recording streams of building licensed LEGO sets into sets from musicals.

Mark my words, Colin Robinson is gonna start puberty in the next episode or two and Nadja's will be out of an act. I loved Nadja was wearing two tiny hats with her outfit.

9 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Continuity issue though, just to be nitpicky. In S3E9, they were pretending Nadja had killed Nandor, and the other vampires wanted to see his penis because they'd heard it was enormous. Yet when they finally saw it, all agreed it was just average. So it doesn't seem like adding 20% to it would make it the biggest in the world. Maybe all those other stipulations kept it from getting that big.

Nandor was at least happy with the size at the end.

11 hours ago, peridot said:

After they met the obstructive familiar, I laughed when Nadja and the Guide agreed that he had to die.  His death was hilarious too, just thrown away like garbage.

Fred Arimsen was perfect as Dr./DJ Tom. I was almost certain that he was an energy vampire

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I love how perfectly in character it is for Laszlo to steal a fertility idol.

That didn't even occur to me but good catch. Also props to whomever on the writing staff knows about Venus figures and thought to incorporate one in an episode.

I think the reduction from world's largest penis to only 20% larger occurred during the negotiations. Didn't Guillermo reference the Monkey's Paw by name in The Lamp? I believe Marya was consoling Nandor near the end when they arrived at the nightclub and saying 'It happens to everyone." By which we can infer thinking of Guillermo causes his wang to wilt. Sorry shippers.

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Lots of exposition. Not a lot of laughs for this episode which is fine. Not everything has to be laugh out loud funny and we did get some character development. 

Fred Armisen is a real energy vampire for me. He sucks the funny out of everything. The soap box about the music industry didn't work for me considering Hollywood is just as predatory and sycophantic. The actor who played Richie Suck didn't do much with his screen time.

Nadja's opening night dress looked cheap especially the hats. Usually, her dresses are so luxurious. Her nightclub dress looked like someone took a red plastic shower curtain and cinched it across an underdress that looked like one of those Chinese knockoff renaissance dresses you can buy online.

I'm glad The Guide gets to wear fun clothes now that she knows who she really is. I look forward to seeing what they do with her character.

Nandor's plot went on for too long. My favorite part of that plot was the Djinn's look to camera when he realized Nandor and Guillermo screwed up the wish at the last second. I also really enjoyed the Djinn's talking heads where he tells the truth about granting wishes with unintended consequences is the point of Djinn.

A low quality episode of this show is better than most high quality episodes of other comedies on TV. Next week's episode looks promising. I love it when they expand the show's universe.

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On 7/20/2022 at 8:02 AM, iMonrey said:

I'm glad they ate Fred Armison because I wouldn't want to see him back.

Fred Armisen seems to have created a niche for himself appearing in Taika Waititi shows and dying quickly......

9 hours ago, Catfi9ht said:

Nadja's opening night dress looked cheap especially the hats.

The hats were my favorite part! They look like something you can get at Dollar Tree during Halloween and you can be sure I will be looking for them this year!

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My favorite part of that plot was the Djinn's look to camera when he realized Nandor and Guillermo screwed up the wish at the last second. I also really enjoyed the Djinn's talking heads where he tells the truth about granting wishes with unintended consequences is the point of Djinn.

90% of this business is penis enlargement!

I also got a kick out of the quick shot of someone carrying in a case of Coors Light at the beginning when they were setting up the night club. Vampires don't even drink beer - what's up with that?

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Fred Arimsen was perfect as Dr./DJ Tom. I was almost certain that he was an energy vampire

We have no data on this but I don't believe regular (?) vampires would eat an energy vampire. Colin has never been in any danger of it, and we know they do have some sort of super strength and/or invulnerability, because he was set on fire last season when they were fixing the car.

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2 hours ago, iMonrey said:

I also got a kick out of the quick shot of someone carrying in a case of Coors Light at the beginning when they were setting up the night club. Vampires don't even drink beer - what's up with that?

For familiars, energy vampires, potential victims?

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22 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

I think the reduction from world's largest penis to only 20% larger occurred during the negotiations. Didn't Guillermo reference the Monkey's Paw by name in The Lamp?

They walked back the "biggest penis in the world" thing, and stipulated that it shouldn't be too big to crush him, but it should be big enough to crush a mouse.

So a 20% increase over a penis that was average at best (according to all of the vampires who saw it) shouldn't have been big enough.

Unless it was a really tiny mouse! But from Nandor's satisfied reaction when he realized its size, it must have been pretty huge. 

17 hours ago, Catfi9ht said:

Fred Armisen is a real energy vampire for me. He sucks the funny out of everything.

Thank you! Why must he be cast in damn near every comedy imaginable?

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8 hours ago, Blakeston said:

Thank you! Why must he be cast in damn near every comedy imaginable?

Fred must be like Chris Elliott--the kind of actor who's professional and respectful on set and who somehow gets along with everyone.  Between the two, I would rather have Fred on my screen than Chris.

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On 7/21/2022 at 6:35 AM, Catfi9ht said:

Lots of exposition. Not a lot of laughs for this episode which is fine. Not everything has to be laugh out loud funny and we did get some character development. 

Fred Armisen is a real energy vampire for me. He sucks the funny out of everything. The soap box about the music industry didn't work for me considering Hollywood is just as predatory and sycophantic. The actor who played Richie Suck didn't do much with his screen time.

Nadja's opening night dress looked cheap especially the hats. Usually, her dresses are so luxurious. Her nightclub dress looked like someone took a red plastic shower curtain and cinched it across an underdress that looked like one of those Chinese knockoff renaissance dresses you can buy online.

I'm glad The Guide gets to wear fun clothes now that she knows who she really is. I look forward to seeing what they do with her character.

Nandor's plot went on for too long. My favorite part of that plot was the Djinn's look to camera when he realized Nandor and Guillermo screwed up the wish at the last second. I also really enjoyed the Djinn's talking heads where he tells the truth about granting wishes with unintended consequences is the point of Djinn.

A low quality episode of this show is better than most high quality episodes of other comedies on TV. Next week's episode looks promising. I love it when they expand the show's universe.

This episode being considered low quality does not compute.

I can't remember the last time I didn't enjoy an episode.

Lazlo/Colin remain a highlight. I think Nandor and Lazlo have had refreshing movement in their characters from how stagnant I felt they were becoming. They are become a bit kinder but still assholes.

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I think it's funny whenever they show a large group of vampires some of them have Nosferatu features like pointy ears or razor teeth or long talons or whatever. Did they look like that before they were turned? Remember Carol? There's no explanation for why some of them just look like monsters. It's hilarious though.

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I'm enjoying The Boy and his arc toward energy vampire much more than I ever expected.  The night club stage will be a great place to start feeding one day.  Great catch @peridot that Guillermo left him YouTube comments.

I'm curious what will happen with the Djinn when Nandor gets to the end of his wishes.  He's been an entertaining, long suffering character.

On 7/21/2022 at 4:05 PM, iMonrey said:

We have no data on this but I don't believe regular (?) vampires would eat an energy vampire.

There was a comment early on from Colin that implied that energy vampires are the only vampires who can feed on other vampires.

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