All Episodes Talk: The Fixed

[SPLAIN]

I don't doubt for a moment that Debi had a tough time being a black girl in figure skating, but she was not the only black female figure skater in the '80s. Surya Bonaly of France was a rising star at that time, though she did not skate in the 1988 Olympics (hers were a bit later.)

 

Surya was once quoted as saying Debi Thomas was her influence.

 

 

Surya Bonaly was in France and the US has a completely different culture when it comes to racism.

 

Surya was also quoted that if she had been white instead of black, she would have had the kind of endorsements deals that were given to the white athletes of her day.

 

Debi Thomas was certainly someone I enjoyed watching during her career on ice. Her flat effect sure seems as if she is suffering from deep depression. My question is, is this something that transpired since her divorces? Since losing her private practice? Does it go way back or is it more recent? I felt as if there was more to this story than we were told.

 

Debi has a gofundme page that she set up quite a while back. https://www.gofundme.com/HelpOlympianDJ

 

Another question I have is, whose idea was it for her to be on the show? Was it Debi's? If so, what was her reason? To get more money on her gofundme page? The comments left behind on her page are not at all positive and mind you, the most recent comments are from a two months ago.

Edited November 9, 2015 by SPLAIN

[NowVoyager]

I'm here emotionally devastated right now.

I've had to blow my nose & wipe my tears just to type coherently. I watched UYI's videos & it took me back to where I was then.... I remember having that hair! (Don't judge me. At the time it was fierce!)

Meanwhile, your posts are about all I have & I thank you for them. I missed the original airing. Comcast On Demand & YouTube have let me down. Your posts were so thoughtful, but I would appreciate any further insight (or passing thoughts) you may have.

So---

What mental illness(es) exactly does Debi have?

A YouTube snippet suggested her current (alcoholic, abusive) boyfriend was an ex-soldier with PTSD. Is that accurate?

Why has she not pursued lucrative speaking engagements before sinking to this?

If she has the pedigree & intelligence to become an orthopedic surgeon, why can't she find a job to keep her out of the bed-bug infested Appalachian trailer park?

It reminded me of a PBS piece I watched about Althea Gibson & her sad later days. Depressed, suicidal, & begging the public for money. So incongruous with her accomplishments & talents (she could sing!) beyond tennis.

At the time, Debi Thomas represented a real life Huxtable family for me. Not so much my family, but Black folks I knew. It is so poignant to see it all fall down while the Bill Cosby legacy is in tatters.

Edited November 9, 2015 by NowVoyager

[KittyS]

Debi said her diagnosis was Mood Disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). That usually means a combination of anxiety and depression or atypical depression. To me, she appeared very deeply depressed - too depressed to leave her no good fiancé, too depressed to return to medicine (or any job), too depressed to fight for her son, too depressed to even give a damn about living in a bed bug infested trashy trailer, and possibly too depressed to even have the energy to kill herself. I think she needs some medicine to fix the chemicals in her brain (along with some serious therapy) before she'll be capable of fixing anything else. It's just so damn sad. I really hope seeing the TV show will be a catalyst for someone more effective than Iyanla to help her.

Edited November 9, 2015 by KittyS

[charmed1]

I've been trolling Debi's social media. This is from her gofundme page:

55 people like this update

Jamie and I thank everyone supporting us. We were pretty stressed today, and I did not even watch the infamous reality show we were featured on tonight. I don't want it to break our spirit. We posted an intro video on our YouTube channel "Can We Go Nowhere Any Faster?" so people can see what we are aiming to accomplish. I'll post that video here.

She's involved in some invest your cash in gold scam and that's the "business" she and the boyfriend are trying to raise money for. She also wants a reality show.

I don't understand how people think... You'll spend $5/day ($150/mo.) on gourmet coffee or cigarettes or other things that are bad for you. You will spend $150 or more on clothes, shoes, etc., but if presented with a truly FREE business opportunity, you have to "think about it". Since January 2015 Karatbars International has created a mechanism to earn a business affiliate package (i.e. a mechanism to earn residual income) at NO cost to the affiliate with a free account by simply selling at least three 3D Metallic Karatbars Gift cards (about $120/each) for special occasions in the first six weeks of joining Karatbars. They are beautiful and don't depreciate like other gifts. They have value because they contain 1g of the purest gold you can find. Take 10 minutes to learn about the Karatbars opportunity

[cooksdelight]

She's involved in some invest your cash in gold scam and that's the "business" she and the boyfriend are trying to raise money for. She also wants a reality show.

Now I feel bad for feeling bad for her. Did I miss something, or can't she practice medicine... anywhere?? Tons of money there.

[charmed1]

I don't believe she's licensed to practice medicine any longer. Although she claims she no longer wants to. This is all too sad. Her posts are the familiar word salad of someone who is ill.

Apparently people can't seem to believe that someone as successful as I have been could end up suddenly in financial dire straights. A combination of circumstances led to my situation, and believe me people are fooling themselves if they think it can't happen to them. God put me on this path for a reason and has a very important mission for me. He has shown me things that He has not shown everyone. If you check out the posts on my Facebook fan page you will see how I've pieced together the crippled state of humanity, and we are about to culminate in a grand war between good and evil. Not everyone is going to make it. God has selected me to be a messenger. Watch the documentary "Thrive" which I posted on my fan page, and you will be amazed and enlightened. I have the ability to see how God and science are one through His creation of a perfectly balanced system that allows us to sustain ourselves... but we've lost our way. People don't understand what I've been through because they have a superficial view of the world. I've stood up against a corrupt system to protect my patients, and I refused to sell out to it. I have deep empathy for the most troubled souls and the most needy, and I ultimately tried to save someone I love losing myself in the process. I finally learned that the only way he'll be saved is to step back and let God do the work. It is very painful, but it needs to be done. I felt that the lessons I've learned through painful experiences and extensive research could be useful to others in the format that average Americans are conditioned to receive... Reality TV. But unlike the fake reality TV on the corporate owned mainstream media, I wanted to show the real life stories to wake people up out of their apathy and misguided beliefs about the world. I pay no attention to haters. God and I know the truth. My son Luc said it best... "God puts his toughest warriors on His most difficult missions." With that, I know I did something right. I am truly blessed.

That's just one of many posts, but basically, the boyfriend was working in the coal mining industry, but no longer does. Originally, Debi was slated to go on Oprah's Where are They Now, but was devastated when that appearance got scrapped. Then happy again when she found out she was going on Iyanla's show. I'm guessing once O discovered she was living in squalor, she sent in the truth dealer first.

Several good natured people have since donated money. Her donations are now more than $4,000.

At this point, I think the only way Debi will get treatment is if she's forced to do so. If she becomes a danger to herself or others, she can be involuntarily committed for 48 hours. During that time, a psych evaluation can be performed. But Virginia does not have the greatest mental health care. She could be on a gurney until they find a hospital with room to take her. I don't think she's at that point yet, but I'm scared for. This man has shoved her, punched her in her face and who knows what else. I have no doubt that 4 grand will be poured right down his throat.

[SPLAIN]

I've been trolling Debi's social media. This is from her gofundme page:

 

Yes, I posted that information about her gofundme page above.

 

Reading her comment on her gofundmepage came off, to me at least, as if she was unhappy to have been on Iyanla's show. I guess she is upset at how she was talked to and was told she, along with her abusive boyfriend, needed help. Debi wants help, just not that kind of help. She wants to be supported and have money flowing in for her and Jamie's needs, most of which seem to be for his alcoholism. Better to have an abusive alcoholic around than no guy around. Co-dependency at its finest.

 

Edit: than NOT "then". duh!

Edited November 13, 2015 by SPLAIN

[ZaldamoWilder]

"....If you check out the posts on my Facebook fan page you will see how I've pieced together the crippled state of humanity, and we are about to culminate in a grand war between good and evil. Not everyone is going to make it. God has selected me to be a messenger."

 

^^this here kind of ramble makes me so terribly sad for her.  It's clear that she needs help that doesn't just involve separation from Jamie.  She was in this semi functional dissociative state that was just...oh my goodness, it was like watching a modern day Dr. John Nash without the schizophrenia.    Several times Iyanla tried to make the point that she didn't seem particularly concerned that she didn't have custody of her child and {{tumbleweeds}} just, nothing.   I got stuck on the her phrasing about it - the courts accused her of neglecting her son.   Well, courts don't do that without a petitioner.  Either the other parent, or the state on behalf of the child, but a person must say to you, you're neglecting this child.  Then the standard that a biological parent has to actually meet to be found neglectful is...frightening. 

 

My sister asked if I didn't feel bad for her.   I struggled with wanting to.  I did.  And I say this not fully comprehending what is possible to accomplish with mental illness, BUT, there are things that she did - because she wanted to - inside this illness.   Things she found the desire/incentive to do with her illness, but not fighting for her child, then or since, kind of cuts it for me.   You can't rip a panda cub out of his sight-impaired mother's paws without risking your ass. 

 

I hope she gets the treatment she so desperately needs.  What a terrible waste of talent if not.

 

I agree. Iyanla uses the same approach for all her guests and it just doesn't work like that. The screaming, bosom rocking, pulling out childhood photos and bag of Walmart reading glasses is not a catch all for every person. I get that she's amping up the drama for the purposes of television, but she didn't need it for this episode. The name Debi Thomas was enough of a draw for ratings. Nobody was tuning in to see Iyanla's red french tips and that Red Foxx voice. They wanted to see Debi. She has to realize some of her guests are living with serious illnesses and are very fragile. Maia Campbell comes to mind. I was too through with her when she took a giant photo of Maia's deceased mother, Bebe, threw it to the ground and ordered the girl to talk to the photo.

 

Now I simultaneously hate and love you for making me giggle in this thread.

[charmed1]

^^this here kind of ramble makes me so terribly sad for her.

Doesn't it? I read it and said "Oh Debi" out loud as if she were my own family member.

So, Iyanla has been tweeting up a storm about the episode. She most likely has been getting a lot of questions. She posted the video of GMA's follow up interview with Debi.

https://t.co/7iSDpB40Zv

Unfortunately, not much has changed. Apparently, the Fix My Life episode was filmed 10 months ago and the trailer no longer is infested (allegedly). Debi claims she's struggling because of a costly divorce and child support.

Her son is now 18. He's defending his mom and responding to comments on the YouTube video. Poor kid. He should avoid that. Never respond to Internet trolls.

I wonder if the pistol toting, kinife carrying family's update was recent or if it was from last year when we were supposed to originally see the episode. If it weren't for PENIS!

I also wonder if Iyanla will try to milk a bunch of follow up episodes and a town hall meeting out of Debi's episode like she did with PENIS! Maybe Debi can get that reality show after all. Jay almost did.

Edited November 9, 2015 by charmed1

[SPLAIN]

The comments on the Gofundmepage have gotten brutal. Not out of the ordinary in today's social media world. In general, people are not feeling sorry for Deb.

 

This episode conjured up more questions than answers. It was frustrating to watch because it seems no matter what questions were thrown at Debi, there were not going to be truthful answers. If Debi is mentally ill or not, she doesn't seem to want to take ownership of what she may have done in her life that got her to where she is at today. She kept making it sound as if her life crumbled and that it can happen to anyone. Sure, people lose jobs everyday where they have no hand in it. They suffer  health problems or are injured and cannot work. They work for a business that is laying off employees. Companies close down. There are many reasons why people are not at fault for being unemployed. Debi doesn't have those reasons for why she is not working as a doctor. Doctors lose their medical license for a reason, and Debi didn't mention what those reasons are. She may be delusional or hiding something. Her mental illness (which I believe she has) can't allow her to see that she may be entirely at fault for the circumstances she is in now. It is hard to get mentally ill people into treatment. They can be forced to stay for 48 hours but after that, they can walk out on their own as long as they are not harming themselves or anyone else.

[UYI]

Doesn't it? I read it and said "Oh Debi" out loud as if she were my own family member.

So, Iyanla has been tweeting up a storm about the episode. She most likely has been getting a lot of questions. She posted the video of GMA's follow up interview with Debi.

https://t.co/7iSDpB40Zv

Unfortunately, not much has changed. Apparently, the Fix My Life episode was filmed 10 months ago and the trailer no longer is infested (allegedly). Debi claims she's struggling because of a costly divorce and child support.

Her son is now 18. He's defending his mom and responding to comments on the YouTube video. Poor kid. He should avoid that. Never respond to Internet trolls.

I wonder if the pistol toting, kinife carrying family's update was recent or if it was from last year when we were supposed to originally see the episode. If it weren't for PENIS!

I also wonder if Iyanla will try to milk a bunch of follow up episodes and a town hall meeting out of Debi's episode like she did with PENIS! Maybe Debi can get that reality show after all. Jay almost did.

 

I thought her son was 13? That's how old I remember Debi saying he was.

 

I will say that, regardless of whatever mental issues she has, I actually think she's aged extremely well. Aside from the gray hair, she looks almost exactly like she did at the 1988 Olympics (and I actually think the gray hair looks good on her. YMMV, of course.).

 

ETA: NVM, he's 18. I found this old interview from 2000, when she was inducted into the U.S. Figure Skating Hall of Fame. Sniff. :(

 

http://espn.go.com/skating/news/2000/0209/345701.html

 

Edited November 9, 2015 by UYI

[charmed1]

Maybe there's another son? The reporter in the piece said that Debi's son is 18 and now in college. And yeah, Debi always had that thick bouncy, coarse Oprah hair. The kind you could cut in an asymmetric in the Spring and it'd be back to your shoulders by Summer.

[Brooklynista]

Maybe I misheard but I thought she said she lost custody when he was 13.

[charmed1]

To be honest, if there was a fund set up specifically for Debi's mental health care, I'd contribute. Not just for her, but for her son's sake. I'm sure he's horrified that his mom is somewhere not in her right mind and being beaten by some man. My heart aches for him.

[Auntie Anxiety]

I think that one of Debi's problems was that she was very focused when it came to reaching difficult goals (Olympic figure skating, medical school, orthopedic surgery) but never learned what to do once she achieved those goals, sort of like "Okay, now what do I do?"  Clearly she is psychologically impaired, probably starting with her feelings of failure over not winning Olympic gold.  I think she's still punishing herself for that.  The loser boyfriend is just another attempt for Debi to: a) give herself an impossible goal (i.e.,getting him to sobriety which would inevitably cause yet another host of problems for herself, between the two of them having a "sober" relationship which neither of them really knows how to navigate and her not knowing what to do once the goal is reached), and b) self-punishment for being a "failure" and feeling like she doesn't deserve better.  And if she can fixate on him and his problems, she doesn't have to deal with her own.

 

 

Debi wants help, just not that kind of help. She wants to be supported and have money flowing in for her and Jamie's needs, most of which seem to be for his alcoholism. Better to have an abusive alcoholic around then no guy around. Co-dependency at its finest.

It rankles me to think that my tax dollars are most likely going to support the two of them.

Edited November 10, 2015 by Auntie Anxiety

[GaT]

Athletes being depressed after the Olympics is a known problem

http://www.thestar.com/sports/olympics/2012/08/18/after_the_games_many_athletes_experience_a_kind_post_olympic_stress_disorder.html

[ToukieSmith]

I've been trolling Debi's social media. This is from her gofundme page:

She's involved in some invest your cash in gold scam and that's the "business" she and the boyfriend are trying to raise money for. She also wants a reality show.

 

 

Oh no. She needs to get help so she can self Finance her own life and not steal other people's hard earned money.

[SPLAIN]

 

It rankles me to think that my tax dollars are most likely going to support the two of them.

I imagine they are already receiving public assistance. There are two kids in this situation who need to eat. Again, so many questions. Does Jamie have full custody? Where is the mother of those boys? Is she worse off than Jamie? Does she pay support to Jamie?

[chenoa333]

Has Iyanla actually fixed anyone? Because most of the people seem to go back to the same life they were living prior to her two day tornado. She's still the same Iyanla from "Starting Over" (the best snarkfest ever), as annoying and as ineffectual as ever.

Where might I find the "Starting Over" snarkfest? I'm getting excited already!

[topanga]

I've only caught a few episodes of the show. I apologize if this has been asked already, but has Iyanla worked with anyone who isn't Christian or otherwise spiritual? I've noticed in the shows we've watched that she always prays with families (or the guests) or has them pray together, or the guests might bring up God or spirituality. I know that most of her guests are black, and most black people identify as Christian (or Muslim or otherwise religious), but what about those who don't? Would she have anything to offer them. 

 

And I personally would hate for her to call me Beloved or Daughter or Love or some other BS. Those are intimate names, and you don't know me like that, Iyanla. I know she's part of intimate details of a person's (or a family's) life, so some closeness must develop, but I hate it when people pretend to be my soul mate or my BFF after only knowing me for a short while.  I guess I wouldn't be a good candidate for her show. 

[announcergirl]

On December 1, 2015 at 0:25 PM, topanga said:

I've only caught a few episodes of the show. I apologize if this has been asked already, but has Iyanla worked with anyone who isn't Christian or otherwise spiritual? I've noticed in the shows we've watched that she always prays with families (or the guests) or has them pray together, or the guests might bring up God or spirituality. I know that most of her guests are black, and most black people identify as Christian (or Muslim or otherwise religious), but what about those who don't? Would she have anything to offer them. 

 

And I personally would hate for her to call me Beloved or Daughter or Love or some other BS. Those are intimate names, and you don't know me like that, Iyanla. I know she's part of intimate details of a person's (or a family's) life, so some closeness must develop, but I hate it when people pretend to be my soul mate or my BFF after only knowing me for a short while.  I guess I wouldn't be a good candidate for her show. 

It is interesting that you say this. I think that her perfect clients are those who believe in something larger than themselves; otherwise, the "fix" would be superficial. 

Edited May 4, 2016 by announcergirl
Autocorrect is a bitch.

[Brooklynista]

Yay! New season starts next Saturday. I wonder if we'll ever see the family of women pulling knives on each other.

[charmed1]

I think we saw the knife wielding family, right? Wasn't that the grandmother, mother and daughter who were pulling knives and knocking each other out? And the grandma said she was taunted by white people while she would walk to school in the Jim Crow south? I can't keep all these dysfunctional families straight.

I'm not sure how I feel about this Starting Over House / Bad Girls Club thing Mother Beloved has going on this season. The annoying girl, Alana? Looks exactly like Lil Kim's 3rd face. The last cute one she had before she ventured dangerously into cat lady territory. I think I will invest in several pre-velcroed tee shirts with attachable mood phrases. The "I'm furious" one would be great for me at the DMV.

[ZaldamoWilder]

On 12/2/2015 at 1:25 PM, topanga said:

I've only caught a few episodes of the show. I apologize if this has been asked already, but has Iyanla worked with anyone who isn't Christian or otherwise spiritual? I've noticed in the shows we've watched that she always prays with families (or the guests) or has them pray together, or the guests might bring up God or spirituality. I know that most of her guests are black, and most black people identify as Christian (or Muslim or otherwise religious), but what about those who don't? Would she have anything to offer them. 

 

And I personally would hate for her to call me Beloved or Daughter or Love or some other BS. Those are intimate names, and you don't know me like that, Iyanla. I know she's part of intimate details of a person's (or a family's) life, so some closeness must develop, but I hate it when people pretend to be my soul mate or my BFF after only knowing me for a short while.  I guess I wouldn't be a good candidate for her show. 

How can this not be this thread's new title? 

8 hours ago, charmed1 said:

I think we saw the knife wielding family, right? Wasn't that the grandmother, mother and daughter who were pulling knives and knocking each other out? And the grandma said she was taunted by white people while she would walk to school in the Jim Crow south? I can't keep all these dysfunctional families straight.

I'm not sure how I feel about this Starting Over House / Bad Girls Club thing Mother Beloved has going on this season. The annoying girl, Alana? Looks exactly like Lil Kim's 3rd face. The last cute one she had before she ventured dangerously into cat lady territory. I think I will invest in several pre-velcroed tee shirts with attachable mood phrases. The "I'm furious" one would be great for me at the DMV.

....and first Sunday wig

I hate you for making me participate.

 

Yeah the Lavinia? Davinia?  Dalvina? family didn't get fixed.  No amount of big purse carrying bosom rocking will solve generations of your mama pulling a gun on your ass.   That's gone need another session or two.

Did ya'll see the one with the lady wanted to be a plus size model so she got silicon shots?  I said to my dude we don't know the details, maybe she didn't understand the risks... then Iyanla said where did you go to get this done?  Then ole girl said over Neveah and them house on the couch.  He wouldn't even look at me.  Lol!!

What's the lawyer's name Gloria?   Look,  TeamGloria, all day.  It's 1 o'clock in the morning.  Nobody here is under 30, take your unruly ass to bed or at the very least don't stop me from same.    The prayer circle.    They said they were finna pray, she said well keep my name Jesus' mouth,  I ain't ask ya'll to pray for me.  Ok no problem.  Now she wanna be mad that they prayed anyway and didn't include her?  Or did it anyway but within proximity?  What was stopping her from leaving the kitchen? 

I was surprised to see Ricky Rosé's ex there.   A former stripper at 22.   

[RedKoolAide]

Alana is a bitch. I think she's gotten used to bullying people because of her size and deep ass voice, but she met the wrong one in Gloria. 

The girl with the missing tooth who never tasted grits before seems like the fatal attraction type based on the previews.

I didn't even recognize Ronnie from The Player's Club until she said who she was.

I'm liking the twins, Gloria, Chrystal(sp?), and the lady from St. Louis.

I look forward to watching the next three parts of this mess!

[ZaldamoWilder]

15 hours ago, RedKoolAide said:

Alana is a bitch. I think she's gotten used to bullying people because of her size and deep ass voice, but she met the wrong one in Gloria. 

The girl with the missing tooth who never tasted grits before seems like the fatal attraction type based on the previews.

I didn't even recognize Ronnie from The Player's Club until she said who she was.

I'm liking the twins, Gloria, Chrystal(sp?), and the lady from St. Louis.

Something is really deep down wrong with her, girl, that's not no normal snapping out at the Walmart type foolishness.

You wrong as two lefts for this.

Chantrelle or Chrystral, (Ronnie) doesn't even look like the same person.  Like at all, side by side pics and everything.  I still don't believe her.

15 hours ago, RedKoolAide said:

I look forward to watching the next three parts of this mess!

{{rubshandstogether} The preview shows a man asking Iyanla why black women are so angry.  I'm scared.  For him.

[SistaLadybug]

1 minute ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

{{rubshandstogether} The preview shows a man asking Iyanla why black women are so angry.  I'm scared.  For him.

If I'm being honest, I don't know how happy I am about having this family business conversation all out loud in front of people, particularly with Iyanla at the helm.  She's a charlatan and ain't never helped nodamnbody and her homespun "wisdom" and smoker's cough laugh aren't sufficient to tackle real serious issues.  Not to mention that a lot of times she sides with dudes, so I can see this going all the way left.

I will be watching, of course, (because I'm not above mess) but I already know this is about to be some foolishness.

[ZaldamoWilder]

7 minutes ago, SistaLadybug said:

If I'm being honest, I don't know how happy I am about having this family business conversation all out loud in front of people, particularly with Iyanla at the helm.  She's a charlatan and ain't never helped nodamnbody and her homespun "wisdom" and smoker's cough laugh aren't sufficient to tackle real serious issues.  Not to mention that a lot of times she sides with dudes, so I can see this going all the way left.

I will be watching, of course, (because I'm not above mess) but I already know this is about to be some foolishness.

[charmed1]

22 hours ago, SistaLadybug said:

If I'm being honest, I don't know how happy I am about having this family business conversation all out loud in front of people, particularly with Iyanla at the helm.  She's a charlatan and ain't never helped nodamnbody and her homespun "wisdom" and smoker's cough laugh aren't sufficient to tackle real serious issues.  Not to mention that a lot of times she sides with dudes, so I can see this going all the way left.

I will be watching, of course, (because I'm not above mess) but I already know this is about to be some foolishness.

I'm so mad at you for this. Now I hear her laughing on a loop in my head. Surely, that laugh was brought to you by the makers of Kool 100s. 

22 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Something is really deep down wrong with her, girl, that's not no normal snapping out at the Walmart type foolishness.

You wrong as two lefts for this.

Chantrelle or Chrystral, (Ronnie) doesn't even look like the same person.  Like at all, side by side pics and everything.  I still don't believe her.

{{rubshandstogether} The preview shows a man asking Iyanla why black women are so angry.  I'm scared.  For him.

The previews make me uncomfortable  for some reason. Sounds like there's going to be a lot of generalizing going around. 

What I'm really bothered by, is all this time has passed since the season premiere and not one of you beloveds has commented on Aunt Iyanla's new do. 

[SistaLadybug]

32 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

What I'm really bothered by, is all this time has passed since the season premiere and not one of you beloveds has commented on Aunt Iyanla's new do. 

Because it looks like a bad rug and we're being polite.

[ZaldamoWilder]

1 hour ago, charmed1 said:

What I'm really bothered by, is all this time has passed since the season premiere and not one of you beloveds has commented on Aunt Iyanla's new do. 

I'm having a hard time with it.    But there's so much I forgive because of the endless amusement I derive from watching that usher board weeble wobble walk off.   I can't quit her.

[charmed1]

This House o' Healing thing is awful. She made that woman look like she was having a baby. I'm appalled. I can't believe these women signed up for this. It's insulting.

I fell asleep on the three male impersonators she brought in. But not before I heard the one in overalls and a Kangol, complain about young black girls jonin on his fashion choices. Because surely, only little black girls could have done that. Surely, no other children could've seen him in his turtleneck and flip flops and laughed at him. Nope.

Then there was Mr. I'm balding so I'm going to keep these dreadlocks long and shape up my receding hairline to make it look like baby hair. He couldn't even believe his own lie about how black women don't respect his celibacy and they only want men with collars. A young, single, employed, church going man sitting in the sanctuary and all the single black women are like "Eww, get away! I got my eye on Deacon Green!" Sure Jan.

The little young one isn't even worth mentioning. His mother must be so proud. I must've fallen asleep when they introduced the aggressive one who was screaming for that woman to admit that she was bitter. How many more episodes until we get back to our regularly scheduled bosom rocking?

Edited September 18, 2016 by charmed1

[RedKoolAide]

All of those dudes were self-hating cornballs who were projecting their bullshit on an entire race of women. They wanted maids and women who would constantly feed their fragile egos.

I was so uncomfortable watching Iyanla jiggle Chrystale's breasts while she tried to get that guttural sound out of her. Iyanla is a snake oil salesman masquerading as a pseudo-therapist/priestess/whatever.

And Iyanla can say what she wants, but she did set up the other team to fail during the tug of war. Alana and Chrystale are like linebackers and Lira has a lot of upper body strength from stripping. I know they were supposed to know to let go but they aren't in a place yet to know they don't have to hold on to their pain and hurt. Of course they were gonna try to win.

The twins and the young one from St. Louis(I forget her name) really make me sad. There's a lot of hurt there that Iyanla will never be able to fix because she's not a real therapist. These women need REAL help. Not a week in a Bad Girls Club house with Iyanla and her props.

[Neurochick]

3 hours ago, charmed1 said:

But not before I heard the one in overalls and a Kangol, complain about young black girls jonin on his fashion choices. Because surely, only little black girls could have done that. Surely, no other children could've seen him in his turtleneck and flip flops and laughed at him. Nope.

Then there was Mr. I'm balding so I'm going to keep these dreadlocks long and shape up my receding hairline to make it look like baby hair. He couldn't even believe his own lie about how black women don't respect his celibacy and they only want men with collars. A young, single, employed, church going man sitting in the sanctuary and all the single black women are like "Eww, get away! I got my eye on Deacon Green!" Sure Jan.

The little young one isn't even worth mentioning. His mother must be so proud. I must've fallen asleep when they introduced the aggressive one who was screaming for that woman to admit that she was bitter. How many more episodes until we get back to our regularly scheduled bosom rocking?

I didn't like these men.  I am sure that you could find white counterparts to them; except white men wouldn't say, "I don't date white women because....."  They wouldn't accuse an entire race of women, they wouldn't pigeonhole an entire race of women.

[ZaldamoWilder]

On 9/18/2016 at 9:22 AM, charmed1 said:

This House o' Healing thing is awful. She made that woman look like she was having a baby. I'm appalled. I can't believe these women signed up for this. It's insulting.

I fell asleep on the three male impersonators she brought in. But not before I heard the one in overalls and a Kangol, complain about young black girls jonin on his fashion choices. Because surely, only little black girls could have done that. Surely, no other children could've seen him in his turtleneck and flip flops and laughed at him. Nope.

Then there was Mr. I'm balding so I'm going to keep these dreadlocks long and shape up my receding hairline to make it look like baby hair. He couldn't even believe his own lie about how black women don't respect his celibacy and they only want men with collars. A young, single, employed, church going man sitting in the sanctuary and all the single black women are like "Eww, get away! I got my eye on Deacon Green!" Sure Jan.

The little young one isn't even worth mentioning. His mother must be so proud. I must've fallen asleep when they introduced the aggressive one who was screaming for that woman to admit that she was bitter. How many more episodes until we get back to our regularly scheduled bosom rocking?

Tuh!  didn't he get good and comfortable going right back to default with his hand on Lita's ass though.   Bruh please.  Rita was right, if they were allowed to have company, his vow would have been tested, failed and compromised that evening.   But He is a forgiver so, I wonder how many times struggle locs has had to press the reset button.   

On 9/18/2016 at 0:29 PM, RedKoolAide said:

All of those dudes were self-hating cornballs who were projecting their bullshit on an entire race of women. They wanted maids and women who would constantly feed their fragile egos.

I was so uncomfortable watching Iyanla jiggle Chrystale's breasts while she tried to get that guttural sound out of her. Iyanla is a snake oil salesman masquerading as a pseudo-therapist/priestess/whatever.

And Iyanla can say what she wants, but she did set up the other team to fail during the tug of war. Alana and Chrystale are like linebackers and Lira has a lot of upper body strength from stripping. I know they were supposed to know to let go but they aren't in a place yet to know they don't have to hold on to their pain and hurt. Of course they were gonna try to win.

The twins and the young one from St. Louis(I forget her name) really make me sad. There's a lot of hurt there that Iyanla will never be able to fix because she's not a real therapist. These women need REAL help. Not a week in a Bad Girls Club house with Iyanla and her props.

See none of ya'lls problems with black women have anything to do with anger or making you feel something - I did love Iyanla for her question - because I come from the Katt Williams School of Emasculation.   How the fuck can I......affect how you......already feel bout you?  That thing she told them about being spat on as a child?  Basically a little damn girl can get over it?  Went completely over their heads.  I was waiting on her to say get your Ruby Bridges in order and man the fuck up.   Russell Simmons in overalls nailed it for me when he mentioned submission.   You want a woman who is ok with whatever excuse you can manufacture for not showing up and not doing your most to lead, despite the noise.  Yeah that is not race specific.   When women don't have anything to get noisy about, there's no noise.   But ain't nobody signing up for feeble ass partnership and I will be the first to admit that a black woman is most likely to be the one to tell him we don't wear the crown because we want to, we wear it because he won't.   Maybe she call Bishop Jakes down to the house for some rocking of his own, it ain't on the women this time.

damn you! LMAO!!!!! 

[SistaLadybug]

I'll be damned if I submit to any man who doesn't know that wearing that outfit is a crime.

Every one of those dudes was bo-bo as fuck and that's why they can't find a Black woman to want them.  I'm less willing to believe that they've given up on Black women and more willing to believe that Black women wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire and it took me about .5 seconds to see why.

[topanga]

On 9/18/2016 at 1:07 PM, Neurochick said:

I didn't like these men.  I am sure that you could find white counterparts to them; except white men wouldn't say, "I don't date white women because....."  They wouldn't accuse an entire race of women, they wouldn't pigeonhole an entire race of women.

Thank you. I hear this too much from some black men who only date non-black women. "Black girls wouldn't look at me when I was growing up, so now I don't look them."

As you said, if you talk to a group of white men, many of them will say that they got no action from girls until they went to college, went into comedy, turned 18 and lost their baby fat, etc. I never hear them say they stopped dating white women because of that. 

 

On 9/18/2016 at 0:29 PM, RedKoolAide said:

I was so uncomfortable watching Iyanla jiggle Chrystale's breasts while she tried to get that guttural sound out of her. Iyanla is a snake oil salesman masquerading as a pseudo-therapist/priestess/whatever.

I could never go on this show because I'm sure I'd start laughing at some of Iyanla antics. 

[RedKoolAide]

Did y'all hear Overalls toot his own horn about how "gifted" he was musically as a kid? He wants women to constantly fawn over his corny ass. Shut the fuck up, dude.

I'm dying at the comments about the dreadlocs. He is really trying, lol!

[MulletorHater]

I know one damn thing.  If Iyanla (and Oprah) tries to parlay this foolery into a multi-part "national discussion," I'm going to be minus a TV because I'm throwing mine out the window.

I had enough of that mess with the Jay, his concubines and 34 kids "national discussion."

[Tabbygirl521]

On November 7, 2015 at 7:29 PM, KittyS said:

Debi Thomas. I don't normally watch Iyanla, but I had to tune in for this episode. First African American to medal in the Winter Olympics, Stanford undergrad, medical school, board certified orthopedic surgeon...and now she's lost custody of her son, estranged from her family, lost her medical practice, and is living in one of the worst parts of Virginia with an alcoholic who beats her.

I feel like Debi's untreated mental illness is the main problem, whereas Iyanla seemed so focused on the drunk fiancé. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her mental illness that led to the break-up of her two marriages, her workplace conflicts, her family struggles, and her shitty taste in men. Drunk, abusive fiancé is the symptom, not the problem. If she had her own shit together, I doubt she'd look twice at that guy.

It's so sad how far Debi has fallen and it doesn't sound like anything is going to change. I wish Debi had been offered inpatient mental health treatment. She needs medication before anything else.

I just saw this episode last night, thanks to OnDemand. Absolutely heartbreaking. When Mr Jamie was attempting to speak, he could barely put a grammatically correct sentence together. How does a highly educated, articulate, worldly, accomplished woman fall so low? I know it's mental illness, and I know that grammar is a shallow thing for me to fixate on amidst this whole mess. But I kept trying to imagine their initial meeting and conversation. Does not compute at all. 

The Black Screen of How This Mess Turned Out broke my heart. But I wasn't surprised. You could just see the resistance on Debi's face when Iyanla told her that Mr Jamie was going to a hotel (did he take bedbugs with him? And why haven't HIS kids been removed from this situation?!).

i remember the 1988 Olympics vividly. I was all about Liz Manley but I liked Debi a lot, too, and was cognizant of her accomplishment as an African American skater. 

[Tabbygirl521]

Oops, sorry to bring the thread down with comments on an older sadder ep! I just finished reading the thread and am HOWLING over the posts!! I now have to go catch up on the episodes that inspired such snark. 

[charmed1]

On September 19, 2016 at 5:15 PM, RedKoolAide said:

Did y'all hear Overalls toot his own horn about how "gifted" he was musically as a kid? He wants women to constantly fawn over his corny ass. Shut the fuck up, dude.

I'm dying at the comments about the dreadlocs. He is really trying, lol!

I take it you weren't impressed by his magical flute playing abilities. He's so different you know? 

I feel like Iyanla scours the covers of Essence Magazine from 30 years ago for her episode topics. The Myth of the Angry Black Woman, Why are Black Men Dating White Women. Seriously Auntie?  Is this what you think Black women are focusing on in 2016? 

[RedKoolAide]

I'm only 25 minutes into the new episode but Dwight is a huge, gaping asshole. I don't understand how his wife has stayed with him for so long. He hates women. 

[FairyPrincess]

OMG, he was an ass but also childish.  It was so weird.  He was like a huge antagonistic teenager.  All that "oh really? Is that what you think?" with that stupid smirk on his face.  And then telling the wife "I wish you would walk away from me and go to her" like some kind of threat.  I cracked up when she turned around and walked away. 

I guess next week we have to hear about how he's been talked down to his whole life... whatever.

[RedKoolAide]

I was afraid for D'alicia(?) and her daughters. He was in a coke rage while he was on camera. I can only imagine how he behaves when no cameras are around. He's extremely abusive and doesn't take any responsibility for his actions. He was so nonchalant about having an affair that produced a child. He's terrible and I really hope his wife leaves him. 

[MulletorHater]

On 10/9/2016 at 3:38 PM, RedKoolAide said:

I was afraid for D'alicia(?) and her daughters. He was in a coke rage while he was on camera. I can only imagine how he behaves when no cameras are around. He's extremely abusive and doesn't take any responsibility for his actions. He was so nonchalant about having an affair that produced a child. He's terrible and I really hope his wife leaves him. 

So do I.  Her affect is so flat, and that marriage is clearly DOA.  

Dwight is a straight up piece of shit and a punk ass bitch.  Like most bullies, he knows exactly who to mess with and who not to mess with.  When Iyanla's son stepped to him and was about to get into that ass, Dwight backed down quick, fast and in a hurry.

[methadonna]

I'm in no way trying to defend anything about Dwight, but I was somewhat taken  aback and disappointed to see Iyanla send the allegedly drunk-to-the-point-of-reeking-of-alcohol (and on coke) man "OFF THE SET" . . . behind the wheel of his own car.

I might have chocked it up to their not wanting to break the fourth wall and show the producer step in to drive him, but it was already in the middle of a fourth-wall-smashed scene, with production's/TGMF's kiddo stepping in, so I can't imagine that would be an issue, nevermind that I'd think the message of responsibility they'd want to send would override that.

 

I guess Iyanla didn't have an extra car in that Mary Poppins purse of hers...

Other shows have certainly added a caption after the fact--like when a mounted camera picks up the degree of impaired driving of a cast member without production present--noting that production was not there at the time and would have stopped the activity of they had been, but they didn't do that, nor would it have been true, given Iyanla basically said, "You are drunk, go drive home."

Sooo: did they fuck up big time or was that whole part scripted to show his resisting and then succumbing to the process, and he wasn't actively drunk at all?

[Zeebreezy]

I thought the same too when Iyanla told him to leave due to alcohol and substance abuse but let him drive himself home.  I first thought maybe the budget wasn't big enough, but when you see they rented the house and had the catering outside I figured someone could spring and be reimbursed for an uber.  But I digress. 

The only person that showed any emotion during the entire thing was the oldest daughter.  And with her moving out she may have a slight chance since she recognizes her behavior and where it is stemming from.  The second daughter whether she knows or not has officially checked out. And I was not moved by Dwight's cry me a river tears *eyeroll*.  He is an asshole that constantly feels sorry for himself and will never take responsibility.  He would always phrase it like my wife did this and I'm like dude you had an outside BABY!!!! C'mon son!!!

 When I saw at the end that the wife stayed, I wasn't surprised. She imo is very attractive and can meet someone else and become truly happy.   However, her fear of starting over is what's keeping her there.  When I left my ex husband after being together for 15 years, (together for 13 married for 2) many of my gf's were like I wish I were that strong.  And I know its hard to start over, but I refused to be in a relationship just because I was scared of the unfamiliar.  I feel so sorry for that family because I don't think much has changed after their weekend with Iyanla. 

Now I love Mother Iyanla, she has helped me personally with things I have been going through, however, I never hear that there is a treatment plan for therapy after the taping is over.  Meeting with her, I feel is a first step in the right direction but shouldn't be the only step. 

[announcergirl]

On September 18, 2016 at 8:22 AM, charmed1 said:

This House o' Healing thing is awful. She made that woman look like she was having a baby. I'm appalled. I can't believe these women signed up for this. It's insulting.

I fell asleep on the three male impersonators she brought in. But not before I heard the one in overalls and a Kangol, complain about young black girls jonin on his fashion choices. Because surely, only little black girls could have done that. Surely, no other children could've seen him in his turtleneck and flip flops and laughed at him. Nope.

Then there was Mr. I'm balding so I'm going to keep these dreadlocks long and shape up my receding hairline to make it look like baby hair. He couldn't even believe his own lie about how black women don't respect his celibacy and they only want men with collars. A young, single, employed, church going man sitting in the sanctuary and all the single black women are like "Eww, get away! I got my eye on Deacon Green!" Sure Jan.

The little young one isn't even worth mentioning. His mother must be so proud. I must've fallen asleep when they introduced the aggressive one who was screaming for that woman to admit that she was bitter. How many more episodes until we get back to our regularly scheduled bosom rocking?

Girl and his farmer overalls. Stop playing. We are being punked. I am all for accept me as I am, but we going to Dillards. 

Edited October 23, 2016 by announcergirl

[RedKoolAide]

Marie was a sad case. She looked depressed and had low self-esteem. I can't believe she sent her kids(one of which is special needs) to live with her mom while she stayed in North Carolina for a man who can't even spell business. The look on Iyanla's face when he spelled it as "bisness" was hilarious.

Marie made a lot of bad choices. Constantly bailing out her barely literate fiance, buying a plantation, not raising her kids, having a filthy home, etc wefe proof of her immaturity.

She needs a therapist and a financial planner.