S14.E15: Past Lives, Open Minds

[Kira53]

On 4/21/2022 at 11:10 AM, bichonblitz said:

Olajuwon is a pain in the ass but after hearing about his childhood I understand him more. He has accomplished alot and is goal oriented for sure. I don't understand why he thinks Katina can't finish school, get a job and have a life with a family. People do it all the time. I also don't get why she has to finish her Bachelor's and then go to nursing school. Couldn't she go for a BSN degree? 

He thinks she can’t do all that because she didn’t accomplish that living in suburbia with the financial help of her mother living in a 5 bedroom house.  Past is prologue.  You should predict the future behavior is others based upon what someone did in the past.  Katina hasn’t accomplished nearly what he did coming from a bad tough environment.  Very rough environment and it shows in his communication style.  People from the projects rarely graduate from college.  Many drop out of HS.  They get shot or go to jail.  He was focused and she was not.  It’s a lot for her to do.  He sacrificed a lot to get where he is.  She probably hasn’t has to be focused and deny herself much.  He has so much ghetto in his communication but he does have a point.  

Edited April 23, 2022 by Kira53
Clarity

[For Cereals]

Noi is still aNOing…I’ve seen couples live separately or at least in separate wings but they’ve been together many years and raised their kids.  Also, why pick on Steve for the stuffed animal?  Noi’s entire being is like a child with a stuffy they refuse to let go of.  

I still keep waiting to see what O is going to do for Katina.  I fear she will say yes and continue the lifelong audition to make herself good enough for precious O.

Having just put my own fur baby down a few weeks ago, I had to FF through that scene.  I can imagine wanting to punch Lindsey thanks to the recaps I’ve read and listened to.  I really think Lindsey is punishing Mark at this point.  She didn’t go the Alyssa route, but she has to embarrass and humiliate Mark the entire time to work out her frustration in not getting who she wanted, and I have no idea why Mark continues to stay.  She drunkenly alluded to it last week.  That, or Lindsey just lives in an alternate reality where she completely misinterprets what others tell her.
 

[Kira53]

On 4/21/2022 at 2:54 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

With Lindsey talking about her mother, how her mom wasn’t cut out to stay-at-home to raise the kids, and how her mom didn’t cope well with it, I continue to support the conclusion that I jumped to after the first episode, i.e., that Lindsey’s mother is an angry, abusive alcoholic and damaged Lindsey throughout her childhood. And, Lindsey is unwittingly following in her mother’s footsteps wrt the drinking and nastiness. She probably went into nursing because she wanted to care for people, wanting to give the care she never received.

Lindsey is a notoriously unreliable reporter.  She is always the victim; never does she do anything wrong.  Look at how she describes Mark doing harm to her.  I don’t judge her mother without someone else describe her mother.   Every horrible person doesn’t have a horrible mother. And I’m tired of mothers being blamed for every bad person’s personality.  

[TwirlyGirly]

On 4/21/2022 at 3:46 AM, Yeah No said:

Mike is too afraid of Jasmina.  He says it's all up to her, like he's afraid she'll start a "Me Too" campaign against him if he dares to give her a kiss on the cheek!  I don't blame him, but dude, you are MARRIED to her, it's OK to make the first move!  And if he waits for her he'll be waiting forever!  It's like she keeps his balls in a jar by the door.  Seriously!  🙄

Jasmina Outar
looks at the jar where she keeps hubby's balls by the door
Who are they for?
Won't let him touch her or kiss her or give her a hug
She just looks smug

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?*

*This bunch? On a therapist's couch!

Edited April 24, 2022 by TwirlyGirly

[kristen111]

On 4/22/2022 at 7:14 PM, Lindz said:

DP visiting seemed new. Idk if it made much a difference. A lotta talk but what's the action? Where's the resolution? They seem to be in the same place in their relationship as they were before her visit. They need to be more thorough. Really dig in & correct in real-time. Mark & Lindsey needs that the most. Too bad it's too late for them.

All the “experts” are useless.  Lots of words but nothing of value.  0 for 5 this season.  Waste of our time.  They have to cut the episodes and commercials in half.

 

[shok]

Lindsay's taking a beating in these comments but I thought she was lovely when helping Mark with his cat. Most cats love to be bundled up and snuggled, especially when they're not feeling well and you could tell that his cat really liked it. Good on Lindsay for doing what she could. And she was very empathetic and caring with Mark while he was going through such a tough time. Most people appreciate having someone with them and hugging them during their toughest moments. Mark was very receptive to Lindsay's caring and it looked to me like he really appreciated her help.

[Boo Boo]

On 4/23/2022 at 4:01 PM, Kira53 said:

He thinks she can’t do all that because she didn’t accomplish that living in suburbia with the financial help of her mother living in a 5 bedroom house.  Past is prologue.  You should predict the future behavior is others based upon what someone did in the past.  Katina hasn’t accomplished nearly what he did coming from a bad tough environment.  Very rough environment and it shows in his communication style.  People from the projects rarely graduate from college.  Many drop out of HS.  They get shot or go to jail.  He was focused and she was not.  It’s a lot for her to do.  He sacrificed a lot to get where he is.  She probably hasn’t has to be focused and deny herself much.  He has so much ghetto in his communication but he does have a point.  

Yeah, that's my takeaway too.  I actually like O.  I think the cooking stuff and likely the dating app is producer driven -- I mean isn't this now what, the 3rd or 4th season where a dating app issue came up?

The man has accomplished some good things in life -- from rising above his circumstances, has a great career, owns his own house (I thought it was really nice!).  He probably views Katina as having wasted opportunities and is doubtful that she can really buckle down and finish with a marriage and kids. As I said above, it would be tough on a marriage and tough on the person trying to finish a degree and work full time with babies to deal with.  My takeaway was not that he felt he would not have her full on attention; I think he knows the time for her to finish is NOW and should lock that down now, just as he said. 

Edited April 25, 2022 by Boo Boo

[bichonblitz]

I still want to know why Katina has to complete a 4 yr degree then go to nursing school. Doesn't make sense. Why didn't she go for an RN major and get her degree that way? 

[Boo Boo]

19 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I still want to know why Katina has to complete a 4 yr degree then go to nursing school. Doesn't make sense. Why didn't she go for an RN major and get her degree that way? 

Right -- that was my question above.  

[Elizzikra]

20 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I still want to know why Katina has to complete a 4 yr degree then go to nursing school. Doesn't make sense. Why didn't she go for an RN major and get her degree that way? 

My guess is that she is far enough along in whatever course of study she started that it would take longer to go back and do a 4 year nursing degree. I think she will finish in accounting or social work or whatever she started and then just do an additional BA/BS - RN program. 

 

Edited April 25, 2022 by Elizzikra

[seacliffsal]

The other thing about Katina's plan is that she is still 2 years from graduating so hasn't even applied to a nursing program yet and those can be notoriously difficult to enter (and drop out rates from those programs are quite high), so she may not even be accepted into a program at that time.

[Yeah No]

On 4/22/2022 at 7:07 PM, humbleopinion said:

Your old friend humbleopinion here to applaud your epiphany about MAFS....

Welcome to the other side...the water's fine....

I miss you and your funny commentary!

[kirklandia]

RE - Katina and nursing degree.  Education plans are complicated!

My daughter always planned to be a teacher. She could not declare a major until junior year of college - and when she applied to the education program, she was rejected. We had no idea that since she enrolled they had reduced their admissions numbers by half (the reason given - they weren't able to place all their teaching candidates).

Admissions were based on a point system. She did not have enough points in "diversity "or "experience" (!)

She pivoted to another major.  And after  graduation, moved back home.  She worked for two years to save for tuition, then attended grad school for two years to get her Master's in Education (and teaching certificate).

She's been teaching special education for 12 years now.  Bought a house, earns enough to support her family - SAH hubby and two young children.  

Thanks for indulging me in my mommy bragging!

Edited April 25, 2022 by kirklandia

[Kdawg82]

I'm hearing from Lindsay "I'm perfect.  Lean into ME. I don't need to change. Mark needs to change. I have done everything...Mark has done nothing." She can't admit to ANY faults.  Everyone has faults. She is just mental. 

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, Kdawg82 said:

I'm hearing from Lindsay "I'm perfect.  Lean into ME. I don't need to change. Mark needs to change. I have done everything...Mark has done nothing." She can't admit to ANY faults.  Everyone has faults. She is just mental. 

Olaj has the same mentality. It's all on Katina to change and cater to him. He doesn't need to "grow" nor compromise because his way is the only way.

[ECM1231]

On 4/23/2022 at 4:01 PM, Kira53 said:

.  He was focused and she was not.  

What's amazing to me is that he was able to remain focused enough to complete his studies and earn a degree. He seems so hyper and I have wondered if he has some sort of attention deficit like ADHD. Does he have a Bachelor's degree or an Associate's degree?

[Retired at last]

10 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

What's amazing to me is that he was able to remain focused enough to complete his studies and earn a degree. He seems so hyper and I have wondered if he has some sort of attention deficit like ADHD.

I am not sure who the 'he' is a reference to, but if you are asking about Olaj, then, yes, he has said he has ADHD.  He told Katina's family that at the wedding.

[Blissfool]

On 4/21/2022 at 2:33 PM, essexjan said:

Lindsey says she doesn't want to be put in a 'mothering' role with Mark, yet she treats him like a toddler when it comes to food.

I see it as he eats like a toddler and she's trying to expand his horizons.

(I admit I get annoyed at grown people who order juvenile entrees off the menu. Sorry if I'm offending any chicken tender orderers out there. 🙃)

On 4/22/2022 at 12:31 AM, Arthur Jury said:

Steve needs to grow a set of balls and stop being so wishy washy namby pamby agreeable.  Tell her like it is:

1. You post another thing about our relationship on social media and I will be outta there so fast it'll make your head swim !

When she was excusing her social media posts by saying that she does it because when she was little, she was stifled from expressing herself, Steve buckled down. He said she still needs to consider his feelings and respect their relationship. I was like, "Yay, Steve, don't give in to her." She put on her resting-bitch-face, so it seemed like she didn't  like his response. Ha! I bet she expected him to be all, "Oh, now I understand why you feel a need to post everything. It's ok then."

 

On 4/24/2022 at 3:46 AM, shok said:

Lindsay's taking a beating in these comments but I thought she was lovely when helping Mark with his cat. Most cats love to be bundled up and snuggled, especially when they're not feeling well and you could tell that his cat really liked it. Good on Lindsay for doing what she could. And she was very empathetic and caring with Mark while he was going through such a tough time. Most people appreciate having someone with them and hugging them during their toughest moments. Mark was very receptive to Lindsay's caring and it looked to me like he really appreciated her help.

Besides, he was holding the cat all awkwardly withs its legs up in the air. I bet the cat welcomed Lindsey's input/readjustment. 😺

 

Let me also say, that I am in the minority. I find him exhausting with his neverending problems, immature, and rude. I say rude because he totally rebuffs Lindsey's every touch or sweet-nothing. Even on a good day, he'd cringe at her touch. And he's her husband, but he has never shown an inclination to ride-or-die with her, whereas, she has for him.

Edited April 28, 2022 by Blissfool

[princelina]

29 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

Let me also say, that I am in the minority. I find him exhausting with his neverending problems, immature, and rude. I say rude because he totally rebuffs Lindsey's every touch or sweet-nothing. Even on a good day, he'd cringe at her touch. And he's her husband, but he has never shown an inclination to ride-or-die with her, whereas, she has for him.

I'm not disagreeing with you about the fact that he seems immature, and if he's constantly on his cell phone like she says then I would find that very rude.  But I do think "ride or die" is for people you actually know and love - he showed a bit of it on the honeymoon when they got the separate limo from the airport, but she just wore herself off really quickly.  I was Team Lindsay when he gave her the "let's slow it down" talk on their romantic honeymoon dinner, but then hearing on the afterparty that when he wasn't up for sex on like night 3 she masturbated in front of him - I can see why that's a turnoff, along with her causing friction/not getting along with the others.  And if she's constantly poking and prodding him in ways that he doesn't like, then other touches will become annoying turnoffs too.  As for why he hasn't just ended it already - he doesn't like confrontation!

[love2lovebadtv]

On 4/25/2022 at 10:58 AM, Elizzikra said:

My guess is that she is far enough along in whatever course of study she started that it would take longer to go back and do a 4 year nursing degree. I think she will finish in accounting or social work or whatever she started and then just do an additional BA/BS - RN program. 

I think Katina said she's doing a business degree. I think if she still has 2 years to go, then she could transfer. Or, maybe she could do an associate's in nursing and then do a BSN. 

Nurses with advanced degrees are in demand but people forget that you can still become an RN with an associate's. 

On 4/27/2022 at 9:57 PM, Blissfool said:

Let me also say, that I am in the minority. I find him exhausting with his neverending problems, immature, and rude. I say rude because he totally rebuffs Lindsey's every touch or sweet-nothing. Even on a good day, he'd cringe at her touch. And he's her husband, but he has never shown an inclination to ride-or-die with her, whereas, she has for him.

I think Lindsey is the one who's rude - loud, crass, and touching someone who doesn't want to be touched. Being married doesn't give her a license to poke and prod whenever she feels like. If she says it's too much, she should be considerate. Also, I think Lindsey's being ride-or-die has more to do with her being in control and being able to say, Look what I did for you. Mark does have a lot of problems and he's said Lindsey dives right in before he can solve for himself. It sounded like he's been ride-or-die for people in the past but Lindsey bulldozes him. 

On 4/27/2022 at 10:32 PM, princelina said:

I'm not disagreeing with you about the fact that he seems immature, and if he's constantly on his cell phone like she says then I would find that very rude.  But I do think "ride or die" is for people you actually know and love - he showed a bit of it on the honeymoon when they got the separate limo from the airport, but she just wore herself off really quickly.  I was Team Lindsay when he gave her the "let's slow it down" talk on their romantic honeymoon dinner, but then hearing on the afterparty that when he wasn't up for sex on like night 3 she masturbated in front of him - I can see why that's a turnoff, along with her causing friction/not getting along with the others.  And if she's constantly poking and prodding him in ways that he doesn't like, then other touches will become annoying turnoffs too.  As for why he hasn't just ended it already - he doesn't like confrontation!

Yes! Lindsey wore out her welcome by acting out before they even got to the honeymoon.  I didn't know about the masturbation. 

[Mstk3000]

On 4/24/2022 at 3:46 AM, shok said:

Lindsay's taking a beating in these comments but I thought she was lovely when helping Mark with his cat. Most cats love to be bundled up and snuggled, especially when they're not feeling well and you could tell that his cat really liked it. Good on Lindsay for doing what she could. And she was very empathetic and caring with Mark while he was going through such a tough time. Most people appreciate having someone with them and hugging them during their toughest moments. Mark was very receptive to Lindsay's caring and it looked to me like he really appreciated her help.

See, I and others didn’t see it that way.  First of all, why did JC have all those infected scratches?  Probably from being forced to live with other cats, who are as aggressive as their owner.  And when she scooped JC up and away from last moments with his Dad and said “he’s purring” - well of course he is, cats purr not only when they are happy and content but also when they are fearful.  The smile she gave to the camera was terrifying.  I was in tears and don’t even know Mark or his cats.  She does and was thrilled that she “could be there for him” rather than letting him be there for his cat that he’d had since JC’s kittenhood.