The Human Beings Known as the Arnold-Klein Family

[ZoloftBlob]

Well... I believe Jen was celebrating Zoey's "gotcha" day - non adopted kids don't have "gotcha day" along with birthdays. I suspect the adoptions aren't secret.

[EmmeRose]

It is very important to tell children they were adopted as soon as they are able to understand the concept.  Since Jen and Bill are obviously well educated parents, I have no doubt that they have either began the discussion in simple terms with Will and if not done already, will do the same with Zoey.  Not telling your children that they are adopted can have severe consequences later on down the road and I know that Jen and Bill are aware of these consequences. They are well adjusted, happy children, who know that they are loved and that is really all that matters!

[Almost 3000]

I think the kids already have an awareness of coming from a different place so the adoption conversation will be different then a child who came to the family as an infant. All this talk about adoption and if the kids have been told them seems strange because the kids already know. Do they know what adoption means? Probably not really because who would at their ages but understanding comes with maturity.

[Honey]

I think the kids already have an awareness of coming from a different place so the adoption conversation will be different then a child who came to the family as an infant. All this talk about adoption and if the kids have been told them seems strange because the kids already know. Do they know what adoption means? Probably not really because who would at their ages but understanding comes with maturity.

I agree.  Why do they need to tell them something they already know?  I'm confused.  Also, when they meet people they tell them in front of the kids Will is from China and Zoey is from India, they aren't secretive about it.  All they did for months was talk to Will about getting Zoey from India.  And all the kids have to do is look in a mirror, and then look at their parents.  The Arnold-Kleins are questioned about enough things, this shouldn't be one of them.

[CousinAmy]

I was wondering about a related topic: how they are (or if they are) honoring the history of the countries that the children came from. I know last year they posed them in clothing from their native countries. But could they do more? 

 

For example, they changed the children's names when they adopted them. I know that Will was called by different names at different times, but maybe they could have kept the name that he had at the time they took him from the orphanage, or a name that he was most familiar with. Zoey had her own name up till the age of 2, and it was only changed because Jen had picked out the name "Zoey" before they even met her. But keeping their original names would be a link to their history - especially because I think when they are older they will definitely be discussing where they came from. 

 

I'm sure Will understands about getting Zoey from the far-away place, but I don't think she understands it yet. Will they someday show her the episode where they picked her up from her orphanage, where she looked so terrified? I think so, but I hope not for a long time. 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

They can show them children's books from China and India to show where they came from.  They could show Will pics of New Day of him with his playmates and caregivers.  Some day he may look some of them up and/or his caregivers.    

 

Will has a long way to go before anyone will know what he understands.  He seems capable of communicating his basic wants/needs only at this point.  Eat, play, sleep, repeat. 

Edited December 29, 2014 by Foghorn Leghorn

[mbutterfly]

I think the kids already have an awareness of coming from a different place so the adoption conversation will be different then a child who came to the family as an infant. All this talk about adoption and if the kids have been told them seems strange because the kids already know. Do they know what adoption means? Probably not really because who would at their ages but understanding comes with maturity.

I don't quite understand either. Two of our children were adopted at about the age of Will and Zoey, and they remembered the before. I mean, we talked about it a bit all along just as one talks about such. I mean we often talked about the day they arrived. The day we went to court and they went up and sat on the judge's lap and we took pictures and went out for lunch. Of course they didn't understand the details of adoption any more than a birth child would understand the details of, well, birth. Every childhood has its own individual stories. 

[CousinAmy]

I have only one memory of age two and my mother swore it was a false memory. (My parents and my brother abandoned me at our house in Queens and as they drove away, I cut my fingers on some glass in the backyard.) She says it must have been a dream. Who knows.

[ZoloftBlob]

They can show them children's books from China and India to show where they came from.  They could show Will pics of New Day of him with his playmates and caregivers.  Some day he may look some of them up and/or his caregivers.   

Will has a long way to go before anyone will know what he understands.  He seems capable of communicating his basic wants/needs only at this point.  Eat, play, sleep, repeat.

 

Why do people think Jen and Bill aren't discussing the adoption with the children or don't intend to tell them anything about where they are from? I haven't seen any indication that they have any plan to hide the children's origans from them.

 

As for Will's ability to understand... sadly I do wonder if his very rough start has left him with some intellectual challenges. 

[4leafclover]

 

For example, they changed the children's names when they adopted them. I know that Will was called by different names at different times, but maybe they could have kept the name that he had at the time they took him from the orphanage, or a name that he was most familiar with. Zoey had her own name up till the age of 2, and it was only changed because Jen had picked out the name "Zoey" before they even met her. But keeping their original names would be a link to their history - especially because I think when they are older they will definitely be discussing where they came from.

 

I believe their original names are now their middle names.  

[CousinAmy]

I'm pretty sure they're saving the whole adoption story for A Very Special Episode. I don't think they would drop it casually into a regular episode, which usually centers around a cute event with the children.

[NausetGirl]

I'm pretty sure they're saving the whole adoption story for A Very Special Episode. I don't think they would drop it casually into a regular episode, which usually centers around a cute event with the children.

 

Personally I believe Bill & Jen HAVE been "discussing" the adoption concept - in a way Will & Zoey can grasp - from the beginning. Privately and off-camera.  And will continue to do so whenever it's appropriate in the future, as the kids get older and ask questions etc.

Edited December 29, 2014 by NausetGirl

[NausetGirl]

I don't quite understand either. Two of our children were adopted at about the age of Will and Zoey, and they remembered the before. I mean, we talked about it a bit all along just as one talks about such. I mean we often talked about the day they arrived. The day we went to court and they went up and sat on the judge's lap and we took pictures and went out for lunch. Of course they didn't understand the details of adoption any more than a birth child would understand the details of, well, birth. Every childhood has its own individual stories. 

 

Very true. The important thing is that you were talking about it from the beginning. I often wonder what ever happened to the little guy in one of my kindergarten groups whose adoptive mother told me - in no uncertain terms - that she and her husband had no intention of ever telling him he'd been adopted. I've never seen or heard of a situation like that that turned out well. Sometimes I even wonder if I should have taken him aside and explained to him myself as best I could. It probably would have been better than having him hear it at age 10 or 12 on the school bus - which is probably what happened. 

Edited December 30, 2014 by NausetGirl

[LegalParrot81]

I quit posting here for the most part, but as someone who was adopted as an infant, I thought I would jump in.  I don't know when I was told specifically or if I was ever formally told, it's just something I've always known.  Funny story, in the second grade my teacher called my mother in to discuss my problem with lying because I was telling people I was adopted.  My mother set her straight pdq and I got an apology from the teacher.  LOL

[NausetGirl]

I quit posting here for the most part, but as someone who was adopted as an infant, I thought I would jump in.  I don't know when I was told specifically or if I was ever formally told, it's just something I've always known.  Funny story, in the second grade my teacher called my mother in to discuss my problem with lying because I was telling people I was adopted.  My mother set her straight pdq and I got an apology from the teacher.  LOL

 

Thanks for posting, legalparrot81. I'm guessing you "always knew" because your mom and dad started talking about it with you from the very beginning - which is what all the professionals I've known have said is the best way to handle it. When started early enough, it just becomes something that, as you said, the child has always known. Kudos to your parents for their wise handling. I wish my cousin had been told at an early age.  He found out on the school bus around age 10, had problems almost immediately - and has continued to have them ever since.

Edited December 30, 2014 by NausetGirl

[bichonblitz]

Why do people think Jen and Bill aren't discussing the adoption with the children or don't intend to tell them anything about where they are from? I haven't seen any indication that they have any plan to hide the children's origans from them.

 

 

 

Agreed. If anyone remembers, Jen bought clothes for the children that represented their culture each time they went to their countries to bring them home. They even had them dressed in the outfits to take their Christmas photo's. I believe they fully intend for the children to know about their adoption and to embrace their native culture. 

[Honey]

Plus Will calls his father Ba Ba and his Grandmother Ni Ni.

[Ohmo]

Everyone should know how to swim.  Period.

 

I hesitate to mention this (because I don't watch the show) and this really has nothing to do with Bill and Jen, but I strenuously disagree with this statement.  You know how the poster who wrote this feels about doctors?  That's how I feel about swimming.  HATE IT...and I find it interesting that if you have a disability, it is assumed that you should think it's the most therapeutic, wonderful thing ever.  That is not true, and if I had $1 for every time that some physical therapist tried to feed me that line of crap, I'd be a rich woman.  I actually got into an almost very heated argument with my high school adaptive PE teacher (whom I liked very much and had no issue with otherwise) where he used the quoted language on me...followed by "What if a cute guy wants you to go on a boat?"  My response, "I'm not going on the boat."

 

My high school had a swimming pool.  It also had a swimming requirement that my PE teacher would absolutely NOT waive because it was supposedly "good" for me.  Guess what?  I gritted my teeth, and I fulfilled the requirement to get in the d*** pool.  That is also the LAST time (and I've been out of high school for quite awhile) I've gotten in a pool, and I wouldn't say I really know how to swim.  No one was ever able to get me out of a floatation device for any length of time because I was so afraid.  As an adult, I know that about myself and I don't put myself in situations where I'm near water.  I just don't.

 

Like I said, I don't watch the show, but if Zoey is really afraid, she may not grow out of it.  I'm living proof that everyone doesn't have to know how to swim.  Everyone just has to know whether they can swim or not.  I can't...and I'm not in the least bit interested in trying to change that.

Edited December 30, 2014 by Ohmo

[Honey]

I hesitate to mention this (because I don't watch the show) and this really has nothing to do with Bill and Jen, but I strenuously disagree with this statement.  You know how the poster who wrote this feels about doctors?  That's how I feel about swimming.  HATE IT...and I find it interesting that if you have a disability, it is assumed that you should think it's the most therapeutic, wonderful thing ever.  That is not true, and if I had $1 for every time that some physical therapist tried to feed me that line of crap, I'd be a rich woman.  I actually got into an almost very heated argument with my high school adaptive PE teacher (whom I liked very much and had no issue with otherwise) where he used the quoted language on me...followed by "What if a cute guy wants you to go on a boat?"  My response, "I'm not going on the boat."

 

My high school had a swimming pool.  It also had a swimming requirement that my PE teacher would absolutely NOT waive because it was supposedly "good" for me.  Guess what?  I gritted my teeth, and I fulfilled the requirement to get in the d*** pool.  That is also the LAST time (and I've been out of high school for quite awhile) I've gotten in a pool, and I wouldn't say I really know how to swim.  No one was ever able to get me out of a floatation device for any length of time because I was so afraid.  As an adult, I know that about myself and I don't put myself in situations where I'm near water.  I just don't.

 

Like I said, I don't watch the show, but if Zoey is really afraid, she may not grow out of it.  I'm living proof that everyone doesn't have to know how to swim.  Everyone just has to know whether they can swim or not.  I can't...and I'm not in the least bit interested in trying to change that.

I wonder what caused your fear?  Do you remember anything?  Children aren't born with a fear of water.  We are floating around in it for 9 months before we're born.  When I was young, about 5 or 6 my dad took me out on a boat in the middle of the lake, and threw me in.  Sink or swim.  I swam.  That's the way all the kids in my family learned how to swim, and we all ended up loving the water like fish.

[Wheels08]

I think in general, when you have a disability like me you learn quickly to be very dismissive of "experts" in your life (I am by no means rude in person) because there is something about a disability that draws people who think they know more than you out of the woodwork. Or, maybe they think you simply are helpless which isn't the case. Disabled people (or at least I do) prefer to do things themselves.

 

 

 

I can't tell you how many people have come up to me and asked if I need help or freaked out if I fell down and sometimes for something really simple. I think what people don't know is that for most people with disabilities is that we've had this disability all of our lives and that we know how to get through life we've had years to prefect how to do things.

 

I remember this one time I was going out to eat with some friends after shopping and I took my coat off because I was hot and getting out of the car to going into eat and this guy parks next to us gets out of his car and he says to me "Where's you coat? Don't you know it's cold out?" Then later when we were inside getting ready to eat my friend asks me if I thought he would have said anything if he didn't see me get into my walker and I said no I didn't think he would.

 

 

This post isn't to make anyone feel bad I just wish some people wouldn't treat us like we're helpless.

[Almost 3000]

I hesitate to mention this (because I don't watch the show) and this really has nothing to do with Bill and Jen, but I strenuously disagree with this statement.  You know how the poster who wrote this feels about doctors?  That's how I feel about swimming.  HATE IT...and I find it interesting that if you have a disability, it is assumed that you should think it's the most therapeutic, wonderful thing ever.  That is not true, and if I had $1 for every time that some physical therapist tried to feed me that line of crap, I'd be a rich woman.  I actually got into an almost very heated argument with my high school adaptive PE teacher (whom I liked very much and had no issue with otherwise) where he used the quoted language on me...followed by "What if a cute guy wants you to go on a boat?"  My response, "I'm not going on the boat."

 

My high school had a swimming pool.  It also had a swimming requirement that my PE teacher would absolutely NOT waive because it was supposedly "good" for me.  Guess what?  I gritted my teeth, and I fulfilled the requirement to get in the d*** pool.  That is also the LAST time (and I've been out of high school for quite awhile) I've gotten in a pool, and I wouldn't say I really know how to swim.  No one was ever able to get me out of a floatation device for any length of time because I was so afraid.  As an adult, I know that about myself and I don't put myself in situations where I'm near water.  I just don't.

 

Like I said, I don't watch the show, but if Zoey is really afraid, she may not grow out of it.  I'm living proof that everyone doesn't have to know how to swim.  Everyone just has to know whether they can swim or not.  I can't...and I'm not in the least bit interested in trying to change that.

Since you didn't see the episode Zoey ended up following the instructor's directions and did things that she had previously learned. She had already had lessons and knew how to put her face in the water to blow bubbles and float on her back with the instructors help. So the instructor and her parents experience was that she had experience in the water and was fine it in the past and would and did be fine with it that day.

[Fostersmom]

I remember this one time I was going out to eat with some friends after shopping and I took my coat off because I was hot and getting out of the car to going into eat and this guy parks next to us gets out of his car and he says to me "Where's you coat? Don't you know it's cold out?" Then later when we were inside getting ready to eat my friend asks me if I thought he would have said anything if he didn't see me get into my walker and I said no I didn't think he would.

 

 

Not to discount your life experiences with people and their need to be "helpful", I've seen exactly what you are talking about and it's usually not helpful, just patronizing instead, but I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "where's your coat, don't you know it's cold out" line. Especially from men. I managed stores for years and but recently became an office manger for a mobility device company, but have kept up my retail habits of running in and out without a coat, especially when getting deliveries. My store employees always would act like I might freeze to death in minutes, and nothing has changed. My techs still seem to think the same thing and now I have a whole new batch of truck drivers certain I'm unaware of the cold. Honestly, I think it's a guy thing. My mom will ask me, cuz yeah, she's the mom, but she's the only female who ever repeatedly asks, but the same men ask time and time again. 

[ZoloftBlob]

This post isn't to make anyone feel bad I just wish some people wouldn't treat us like we're helpless.

 

You know, I hesitate to respond because  I accept that I am an able bodied person but... do you know how many times I have gotten the "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE" look from someone with a handicap? Because I assume they want to do something for themselves or don't want me to hold the door or whatever offense I've committed by not asking if they want help?

 

As an able bodied person with manners, I was taught that if you see someone elderly, or in a wheelchair or on crutches or of short stature or some other obvious physical disability that its polite to hold the door and give up your seat etc. And do you know how many times I have been ripped into over it? The answer is a lot - to where I now hesitate to offer someone with a disability assistance (and also get the YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE look)

 

I get that its not easy to accept help but honestly, I am afraid to approach someone with a disability these days and offer help.

[Wheels08]

It's not stuff like opening doors isn't what I'm talking about because people where I live generally hold doors for everyone.

Another example is this one time I had this bottle of soda and I left it on the table and I was talking to this lady and she looks over at the table and says somebody left they're soda over there and I go thats mine and she goes well a person in your condition shouldn't have soda.

It's that kind of stuff I'm talking about, and even though Our disablities are different I'm sure Jen in Bill feel similar.

[NausetGirl]

It's not stuff like opening doors isn't what I'm talking about because people where I live generally hold doors for everyone.

Another example is this one time I had this bottle of soda and I left it on the table and I was talking to this lady and she looks over at the table and says somebody left they're soda over there and I go thats mine and she goes well a person in your condition shouldn't have soda.

It's that kind of stuff I'm talking about, and even though Our disablities are different I'm sure Jen in Bill feel similar.

 

Maybe any posters here who are coping with physical issues could give the rest of us some tips on how to recognize when someone really could use some help - and when we should assume they want to manage on their own?  Just as ZoloftBlob wrote, I was raised to offer help if I was able, but I certainly don't want to assume my help is needed - or wanted.  I'm sure 95% of those who offer help are just trying to be kind and helpful.

[justafan]

Maybe any posters here who are coping with physical issues could give the rest of us some tips on how to recognize when someone really could use some help - and when we should assume they want to manage on their own? Just as ZoloftBlob wrote, I was raised to offer help if I was able, but I certainly don't want to assume my help is needed - or wanted. I'm sure 95% of those who offer help are just trying to be kind and helpful.

First time poster. Just an opinion but in my experience, most people with disabilities that are needing help ask for it. I would think they are obliged to make the initial step to ask. If nothing else, rather than presume someone needs assistance, asking them if there's something you can do to help would probably be a reasonable approach. Unfortunately, assholes exist in both the abled and disabled community. So be prepared for the damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario from time to time. On a side note, big fan of the show.

[Almost 3000]

The advice would probably be unique to that person and another would prefer something else.

[Wheels08]

1. If your could give them a few minutes and if they're still struggling then go and ask.

2. If they look like they need help.

3. Some advice about holding doors open is if there is a person opening before or after them hold it for them to that way they don't feel like they're being singled out.

There are perkes to being disable for me I guess. I work with kids older and younger and i don't get quite the flack everyone else seems to get; but there is respect there and not pity.

Also what Justafan said we tipically ask for help, but not everyone can at least not verbally.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Wheels08

[NikSac]

I hope this is okay to post here since it's not really about the episode, but I'm responding to a number of recent posts. I have struggled with physical disabilities since I was 9 years old - muscle weakness, rare disease called Myositis, but think of it like muscular dystrophy. I have gotten the confusing and unwanted offers of help when help wasn't really needed or wanted. I've gotten more sales pitches for snake oil cures and unwanted advice than I can even count.  But on the flip side I've also gotten the "evil eye" look when I held the door for a woman in a wheelchair (little did she know it was killing my arm muscles to even hold that door!), and when I once asked a little person if I could help them get something off a shelf they yelled at me. Point being I feel like I see both sides of it. 

 

Personally I've greatly appreciated help that was offered when I needed it, and I hope I've never given anyone bad vibes when they did help or offer to help me. I always try to graciously either accept or decline. I think it's so individual - for the giver, receiver, and situation. And back to the show, it makes me kinda sad that the kids will have to learn all of this stuff. I think they'll have good teachers in their parents, but man, seems like an awful lot of extra stuff they have to learn.

[Fostersmom]

Not that my experiences are anywhere the same as those with a permanent disability, but I have MS which is a total crap shoot. Today I'm good, just some slight numbness in my right hand which is permanent from an extremely bad flare I had in the past, but I could wake up tomorrow with severe symptoms, to the point that it's hard or impossible to function as I normally would. Having to ask for help when I had my first physical flare, which was pretty catastrophic (my entire body from my neck down except my left arm was completely numb, couldn't feel a thing, my right hand curled up like a claw, my neuro couldn't even understand how I could walk my feet were so numb, had to do a 3 day course of IV steroids), was a very hard thing to do and a very humbling experience. Even asking my family was hard, let alone strangers. But on the flip side, I was frustrated enough with my body and disease, and while it was nice people wanted to help, there were some who went so far in their efforts that it made me feel even worse and I wanted to scream. Like Wheels08 said, hold a door open like you would for anyone, it's common courtesy, but don't assume I can't do anything for myself. 

 

To kind of sort of bring this back to the show, Jen, Bill, and the kids, had to learn how to adapt to the world around them. There's always going to be things too tall to reach, things too heavy to lift (for Jen and the kids while they are little at least), long distances that need covered in a short time, but they make it work. Stools, climbing shelves, Jen's scooter, they do what they've got to do. And as pissed as people get when they show Bill or Jen (or any little person on any show) climbing a shelf or using something to knock something else down in a store, it happens every day in every store, even with those of us considered "average" height. I'm just under 5'4" and let me tell you, there's plenty of times I've climbed the bottom shelf, tried to find a broom to knock something down, or at one store, had to stand on the railing they have on the bottom of their dairy and freezer cases to reach the things on the the top shelf. Hell, I teamed up with a random stranger a couple of weeks ago in Walmart, we were both trying to reach different things on a top shelf in different aisles and we tried to figure out what we could use to get our items. We both failed, and I just gave up, but it wasn't the first time, and won't be the last, I tried to climb or knock things down. You gotta do what you gotta do. 

[NausetGirl]

Not that my experiences are anywhere the same as those with a permanent disability, but I have MS which is a total crap shoot. Today I'm good, just some slight numbness in my right hand which is permanent from an extremely bad flare I had in the past, but I could wake up tomorrow with severe symptoms, to the point that it's hard or impossible to function as I normally would. Having to ask for help when I had my first physical flare, which was pretty catastrophic (my entire body from my neck down except my left arm was completely numb, couldn't feel a thing, my right hand curled up like a claw, my neuro couldn't even understand how I could walk my feet were so numb, had to do a 3 day course of IV steroids), was a very hard thing to do and a very humbling experience. Even asking my family was hard, let alone strangers. But on the flip side, I was frustrated enough with my body and disease, and while it was nice people wanted to help, there were some who went so far in their efforts that it made me feel even worse and I wanted to scream. Like Wheels08 said, hold a door open like you would for anyone, it's common courtesy, but don't assume I can't do anything for myself. 

 

To kind of sort of bring this back to the show, Jen, Bill, and the kids, had to learn how to adapt to the world around them. There's always going to be things too tall to reach, things too heavy to lift (for Jen and the kids while they are little at least), long distances that need covered in a short time, but they make it work. Stools, climbing shelves, Jen's scooter, they do what they've got to do. And as pissed as people get when they show Bill or Jen (or any little person on any show) climbing a shelf or using something to knock something else down in a store, it happens every day in every store, even with those of us considered "average" height. I'm just under 5'4" and let me tell you, there's plenty of times I've climbed the bottom shelf, tried to find a broom to knock something down, or at one store, had to stand on the railing they have on the bottom of their dairy and freezer cases to reach the things on the the top shelf. Hell, I teamed up with a random stranger a couple of weeks ago in Walmart, we were both trying to reach different things on a top shelf in different aisles and we tried to figure out what we could use to get our items. We both failed, and I just gave up, but it wasn't the first time, and won't be the last, I tried to climb or knock things down. You gotta do what you gotta do. 

 

Amen to all of this.  PS - stores really should begin thinking about some of these issues. If customers can't get to the items and worse, when they can't find store staff or someone else who also wants the item to help, these stores are losing sales. Personally, when this happens to me, I usually just realize that I can live without the item and walk away.

[PRgal]

Amen to all of this.  PS - stores really should begin thinking about some of these issues. If customers can't get to the items and worse, when they can't find store staff or someone else who also wants the item to help, these stores are losing sales. Personally, when this happens to me, I usually just realize that I can live without the item and walk away.

Double AMEN! And oh, when people who are just a couple of inches taller than you (purposely) bump into you and say that they weren't able to see you because you're "so tiny."  Sorry, lady, but you're 5'6" and I'm around 5'2".  I'm not "so tiny" to you.  Bill and Jen, maybe, but NOT ME.  It's your fault that you weren't able to "see me."  Or did you do that on purpose?

 

Anyway, let's get back on topic.

[Jellybeans]

I am deaf and have MS. Once, I pulled into a HC parking space and hopped out. Yes, Hopped out. A big burly guy slammed his hand on my Jeep and yelled at me to move my Jeep. I told him if he touch my Jeep again I would call 911 threatening me. He said, "go ahead lady" and he hit it again. By that time, security drove by and I flagged them down.

He claimed I had no right to park there, security disagree and asked him to leave.

It was scary. He ASSUMED I had HC parking because I was deaf (I can speak, lipread and shout back!) but MS means walking short distances if you are one of the lucky ones.

I only offer help if asked or if it would be ridiculous not to offer.

[Cherrio]

Reading the stories here has educated me and I thank everyone for it.    The problem I have always had with Arnold/Klein is that they play the education card, but in my opinion we rarely see what really goes on.

              I am not saying they shouldn't be parents, but show us your real life or put the education card back in the deck.

[Veronique Bette]

I find this show educational and inspiring precisely because Bill and Jen are so successful. As far as I know, they weren’t born wealthy and nothing was handed to them. They have worked hard to achieve what they have and refused to be limited by what some might consider a life-diminishing disability. They share a seemingly strong marriage, have children they adore, plus careers, family,friends and yes, material benefits and a comfortable life that they have earned. While I do understand a little more about what it would be like to live with dwarfism in a normal sized world, I have learned even more about what it is like to adapt one’s attitude to reality and make more than the best of it. In their circumstances, I don’t know if I could have done as well.

[4leafclover]

 

While I do understand a little more about what it would be like to live with dwarfism in a normal sized world, I have learned even more about what it is like to adapt one’s attitude to reality and make more than the best of it. In their circumstances, I don’t know if I could have done as well.

 

Amen!  And thank you.

[walnutqueen]

I find this show educational and inspiring precisely because Bill and Jen are so successful. As far as I know, they weren’t born wealthy and nothing was handed to them. They have worked hard to achieve what they have and refused to be limited by what some might consider a life-diminishing disability. They share a seemingly strong marriage, have children they adore, plus careers, family,friends and yes, material benefits and a comfortable life that they have earned. While I do understand a little more about what it would be like to live with dwarfism in a normal sized world, I have learned even more about what it is like to adapt one’s attitude to reality and make more than the best of it. In their circumstances, I don’t know if I could have done as well.

 

 

I agree Cherrio. In addition, because they are millionaires, they can afford to adapt their home, cars etc. to their needs. It would be much more educational to see how middle class little people manage their lives.

[NausetGirl]

I agree Cherrio. In addition, because they are millionaires, they can afford to adapt their home, cars etc. to their needs. It would be much more educational to see how middle class little people manage their lives.

 

I'd like to see how Bill and Jen handle other aspects/challenges, not just the physical ones.  We see only warm acceptance of them wherever they go, and I hope that's what actually happens. But I doubt things are all sweetness and light ALL the time.  Why not spend some time discussing areas in which they think improvement still needs to be made in the treatment of the short-statured?  That would be very educational.

[Jellybeans]

A few months ago a family of five got out of a van to go into Rudy's BBQ. Dad was in a wheelchair. I think he was a vet. Anyway, when they got to the door, HE opened the door for his wife and kids and he went in last. Because I can lipread, I saw a woman say "why didn't his wife hold open the door?"

Because HE can open the damn door for his family, that's why. Same as Bill and Jen with all their adaptions.

One reason Jen does not get doesn't on the floor like Bill is she can't. She had a spinal fusion in the upper part of her body. It makes her stiff. Bill's surgery turned into a fusion so he will have limited mobility as far as turning, etc. One of my parents had one it does change the way you turn. Notice how Jen turns her upper body to look around, not her neck. She cannot turn her neck because of her fusion.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

One reason Jen does not get doesn't on the floor like Bill is she can't. She had a spinal fusion in the upper part of her body. It makes her stiff. Bill's surgery turned into a fusion so he will have limited mobility as far as turning, etc. One of my parents had one it does change the way you turn. Notice how Jen turns her upper body to look around, not her neck. She cannot turn her neck because of her fusion.

 

Thanks for the reminder.  I did know about her fusion(s) and of course that reduces mobility and prevents her from many activities!  I have a close friend who had to have a fusion and she is uncomfortable a lot.    

 

Watching her get in and out of the cars this episode shows us how difficult it is.  I am sure Bill didn't want to be fused but it appears that was what had to happen. I hope eventually he can get back down on the floor with those 2 little termites.  

[RedheadZombie]

I'd like to see how Bill and Jen handle other aspects/challenges, not just the physical ones.  We see only warm acceptance of them wherever they go, and I hope that's what actually happens. But I doubt things are all sweetness and light ALL the time.  Why not spend some time discussing areas in which they think improvement still needs to be made in the treatment of the short-statured?  That would be very educational.

 

I'm interested in that, too.  I liked how Bill handled that little boy asking him how old he was.  I remember Zach Roloff being trailed by a kid in a store.  He said children always follow him because they think he's a child, yet realize he can't be.  He fascinates them.  He was pretty matter of fact about it.

[mojito]

I hold doors open for anyone who looks like they need a hand. Or if they're shorter (male or female) or if they're a lot older. If someone wants to give me a dirty look for doing so, that's on them. I'll continue to do it anyway because it's the polite thing to do. Always, the most noticeably grateful people I lend a hand to are mothers with multiple children and strollers.

 

Michelle Obama told a story of being in a Target one day in the detergent section. A woman asked her to reach up to the top shelf and retrieve something for her, and Michelle did. The woman cracked, "Well, you didn't have to make it look so easy."  Imagine watching this particular interview when Michelle told that story and realizing it was you who had asked the First Lady to reach something for you, then you ribbed her for being tall.

 

Yes, I digress. I thought it was a cute anecdote.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I hold doors open for anyone who looks like they need a hand. Or if they're shorter (male or female) or if they're a lot older. If someone wants to give me a dirty look for doing so, that's on them. I'll continue to do it anyway because it's the polite thing to do. Always, the most noticeably grateful people I lend a hand to are mothers with multiple children and strollers.

 

Michelle Obama told a story of being in a Target one day in the detergent section. A woman asked her to reach up to the top shelf and retrieve something for her, and Michelle did. The woman cracked, "Well, you didn't have to make it look so easy."  Imagine watching this particular interview when Michelle told that story and realizing it was you who had asked the First Lady to reach something for you, then you ribbed her for being tall.

 

Yes, I digress. I thought it was a cute anecdote.

 

LOL Great story!  I would never give the "side eye" or make a crack to anyone who was kind and gracious enough to offer me a helping hand whether I appeared to need it or not.  I am indeed fortunate to have never been on the receiving end of negativity when I have helped.  

[walnutqueen]

mojito - you can help little old me anytime!  Virtually or otherwise, this is one disabled soul who longs for a helping hand to haul cat food, but right now needs a goddamned foot I can step on,  Crutches are impossible, & Mum's old walker doesn't steer worth a shit.  :-)

 

I'd sell my soul for Jen's little scooter, but my home is unnavigable.

[Honey]

Yesterday as we were leaving a restaurant, my husband held the door for an older woman with a cane, then ran to get the inside door for her. As this was happening, I thought of the posts on this board regarding this issue. I hoped he was doing the right thing. As the woman went through the second door that my husband was holding, she said "God bless you". In that moment, I decided that in the future, I would risk error on the side of helping.

If we must err, best to err on the side of politeness.  As the other poster said, if they get bent out of shape over it, that's on them.  Your husband sounds like a nice man.

[walnutqueen]

Can I get a side of help without the husband?  :-)

 

It would be handy right about now.

 

ETA : Unless the husband is Bill or Jen

Edited January 3, 2015 by walnutqueen

[CousinAmy]

I have a Facebook friend (but I do consider her a real friend) who is an appearance advocate in Australia. She has a genetic skin condition that is very apparent to anyone passing by. At age 33, she's very tired of having people treat her like she's an invalid, or trying to do things for her, or even looking at her with pity. She used to have printed cards that explained her condition so she wouldn't have to explain it, but got tired of having to be a "professional educator" to every man in the street. (Now, she actually gets paid for lecturing to doctors.) 

 

I understand that. Although I don't have any limiting conditions, I have been approached by people who think I need help - for example, I'm very near-sighted and have to hold reading material about two inches in front of me to read fine print. I was trying to read a label in the supermarket when some woman came up to me to ask if I needed help. I was very insulted - if I needed help, I could have easily asked for it. Don't take "pity" on me by implying I'm incapable of shopping for myself. 

[Honey]

I have a Facebook friend (but I do consider her a real friend) who is an appearance advocate in Australia. She has a genetic skin condition that is very apparent to anyone passing by. At age 33, she's very tired of having people treat her like she's an invalid, or trying to do things for her, or even looking at her with pity. She used to have printed cards that explained her condition so she wouldn't have to explain it, but got tired of having to be a "professional educator" to every man in the street. (Now, she actually gets paid for lecturing to doctors.) 

 

I understand that. Although I don't have any limiting conditions, I have been approached by people who think I need help - for example, I'm very near-sighted and have to hold reading material about two inches in front of me to read fine print. I was trying to read a label in the supermarket when some woman came up to me to ask if I needed help. I was very insulted - if I needed help, I could have easily asked for it. Don't take "pity" on me by implying I'm incapable of shopping for myself. 

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.  You know you don't need/want help, but how are they supposed to know that?  She didn't grab it out of your hands, and started reading for you, she asked if you needed help.  Just say "No, thank you" and be glad there are caring people in the world.

[NausetGirl]

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.  You know you don't need/want help, but how are they supposed to know that?  She didn't grab it out of your hands, and started reading for you, she asked if you needed help.  Just say "No, thank you" and be glad there are caring people in the world.

 

Completely agree with this. IMO, people who offer help don't do it to be insulting. Let's face it, there are many other ways to do that. They do it in an attempt to be kind and helpful, and because they hope someone would do the same for them if they needed assistance.

[CPP83]

I just wanted to touch a little on the subject of the kids in the future becoming aware of their family's celebrity and the consequences, both good and bad, which may come from it.

 

Personally I think that, considering all Bill and Jen have faced in their lives, and still do, the unwanted and unnecessary comments and attention and stares and whispers and general prejudiced behaviour which often comes with having some sort of physical difference not everyone will or wants to take the time to understand or not make unjust assumptions about, they will help their children understand and learn how to cope and properly deal with whatever negativity they may come across whether online or in person. Though I would bet the main focus will, and should, be placed on the people they actually will meet and see face to face.

 

I don't think Will and Zoey are going to grow up thinking the words or opinions of complete strangers should matter to them. They have such a steady and secure family structure already in place, imo, with their parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins and good family friends, not to mention the kids they'll meet and become friends with as they grow up.

 

While they might get curious and research themselves I don't believe they'd take anything they'd find seriously or to heart. These kids already are going to know the daily struggle of being little people in a world built for the average, learning how to stay positive and keep upbeat like their parents and figure out solutions that work for them and make their lives a little easier when they can, and that was going to happen whether or not they ever appeared on television.

 

Worrying about people who don't and can't and will never know what they've been through or go through, to me, is the last thing these kids will ever want to or will concern themselves with. Not with Jen and Bill standing by their sides every step of the way as they grow up and hopefully they'll know that their parents are pretty perfect examples to emulate into adulthood.