S13.E16: Weighing the Decision

[Emma Snyder]

Quote

With Decision Day fast approaching, each spouse spends time with friends and loved ones as they weigh the life-changing decision of whether to stay married or get a divorce.

Airs Wednesday Nov 3 at 8PM EDT.

As always, this is a spoiler-free topic. If it did not happen yet, please do not discuss.

[Retired at last]

Just a note that tonight the panel discussing their opinions will be on right after the main show. I guess it is taking the place of Unfiltered. And then next week IS Decision Day. There is already a thread for that show right above this one.

[Crashcourse]

Michaela has a nice figure and is probably wild in the sack, so I can believe Zack is still sleeping with her even though he knows she's batshit crazy.   So that's on him for leading her on if he is, indeed, sleeping with her.

[Emma Snyder]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

Just a note that tonight the panel discussing their opinions will be on right after the main show. I guess it is taking the place of Unfiltered. And then next week IS Decision Day. There is already a thread for that show right above this one.

Thanks for reminding everybody about the infamous "Episode 81" thread!!

[kristen111]

This was a waste of time.  There’s nothing we didn’t hear or see before.  They all are repeating the same things that are bothering them.  Now they have to weigh the pros and cons.  Top priorities:  Money, Vacations to far away places, respect.  Nothing about falling in love, or they can’t do without one another.  What happened to falling in love, staying married and figuring things out as they go.  This is like the cart before the horse.  If you get what I mean.

 

[Straycat80]

16 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

This was a waste of time.  There’s nothing we didn’t hear or see before.  They all are repeating the same things that are bothering them.  Now they have to weigh the pros and cons.  Top priorities:  Money, Vacations to far away places, respect.  Nothing about falling in love, or they can’t do without one another.  What happened to falling in love, staying married and figuring things out as they go.  This is like the cart before the horse.  If you get what I mean.

 

Thank you! I was pondering whether to watch this or not. I’m going to just check in to the finale to see who ended up with who or not. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Well, not only was that a waste of time, it was also boring! It’s my own damn fault; I should have shut it off after the first ten minutes.

[buttersister]

Ryan is still trash.

[mythoughtis]

I actually found it interesting.  It appears that every couple had to talk to friends or family and also have a talk with each other.  I think several were honest in what they were concerned about.  Others not so much. 
 

we did get  info on Gil and Myrla’s income disparity.  Based on what he said- Myrla makes twice as much as he does. They also both come from families where the father paid for everything.  That’s a lot of his concern right there.  He can’t pay for everything at the level Myrla spends.  Now she doesn’t expect him to pay her way ….but they need to learn to live on one income because things happen. 
Rachel doesn’t think that Jose listens because he doesn’t immediately agree to European and Asian vacations.   She doesn’t listen to him either. 

I loved Bao saying No means we are done  

 

 

Edited November 4, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Jeanne222]

I felt bad for Mryla. Gil was really going at her!

The more I get to know him the less I like him. He’s at the age he should be educated and pretty well settled and moving up in his chosen field. He’s not either 

He’s belittling her for achieving what he did not do. Kind of puffing himself up at her expense. 

She should say a very loud No but they say love is blind so we’ll see. 

[Kira53]

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

This was a waste of time.  There’s nothing we didn’t hear or see before.  They all are repeating the same things that are bothering them.  Now they have to weigh the pros and cons.  Top priorities:  Money, Vacations to far away places, respect.  Nothing about falling in love, or they can’t do without one another.  What happened to falling in love, staying married and figuring things out as they go.  This is like the cart before the horse.  If you get what I mean.

 

Once they have a narrative they just keep repeating it in the edits.  I watch anyway.  I wish that they would show more complexity to each person’s personality but that’s not how this show is ever edited.  

[CSunshine76]

Jose and Rachel will never see eye to eye. She wants an every other year trip out of the country. He wants to drive two hours across I-10 to San Antonio. There is no compromise between those two!

And for the record, I’m with Rachel. Im a born and raised Texan and love my long weekend trips to other parts of Texas.  But that absolutely does not count as my “vacation” for the year. Quit being cheap Jose! 

[Kira53]

1 hour ago, mythoughtis said:

we did get  info on Gil and Myrla’s income disparity.  Based on what he said- Myrla makes twice as much as he does. They also both come from families where the father paid for everything.  That’s a lot of his concern right there.  He can’t pay for everything at the level Myrla spends.  Now she doesn’t expect him to pay her way ….but they need to learn to live on one income because things happen. 
Rachel doesn’t think that Jose listens because he doesn’t immediately agree to European and Asian vacations.   She doesn’t listen to him either. 

I loved Bao saying No means we are done  
 

Things happen- like pregnancy.  If she wants to stay home for more maternity time they won’t have that big income to live on.  She can’t compromise that much.  Gil isn’t going to be able to replace that income - unless he gets Jamie Otis’s job.  Gil is gunning for that.  They are too opposite to fully attract.  Myrna made an early decision not to sleep with a Fireman - the financial disparity was too much.  Beth’s Jamie has the kind of income she was hoping for.  Ryan probably has the income acceptable to her but he would not be attracted to her either.  His sister would tell you that too.   They would be super boring together.  Jose might have been financially close to what she would want.  They would have clashed and he’d be to small but Jose has hair.  I can’t imagine how negative she would be about those matches.  

Rachel in the summer.......She has a side we didn’t get to see.  Rachel  should’ve been listening and told Jose that they could go skiing in Switzerland since he suggested a ski vacation.  Skiing is very expensive so I was surprised he would consider that kind of vacation.  She doesn’t listen either. She just want somebody to do what she wants to do which is great you just shouldn’t get married at first sight because you’re not going to get that stuff. 

Edited November 4, 2021 by Kira53

[Yeah No]

30 minutes ago, CSunshine76 said:

Jose and Rachel will never see eye to eye. She wants an every other year trip out of the country. He wants to drive two hours across I-10 to San Antonio. There is no compromise between those two!

And for the record, I’m with Rachel. Im a born and raised Texan and love my long weekend trips to other parts of Texas.  But that absolutely does not count as my “vacation” for the year. Quit being cheap Jose! 

I don't understand these people that are so set in their ways and want everything their way or no way.  If you get like that over something as minor as this in the big scheme of things you're never going to last in any marriage, period.  Geesh, just say, "Whatever, we'll figure it out" and leave it at that.  Is that the hill you want your relationship to die on?  Look at the big picture!  Life has a habit of changing your plans whether you like it or not, so just go with the flow on some of this stuff and take a "wait and see" attitude.  José gets a lot of crap for being the controlling one in the relationship but the 800 pound gorilla in their relationship is Rachel.  She can be just as controlling in her passive refusal to compromise.  Seriously, it's no wonder these people haven't found a long term significant other or spouse by this age!

[Yeah No]

57 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I felt bad for Mryla. Gil was really going at her!

The more I get to know him the less I like him. He’s at the age he should be educated and pretty well settled and moving up in his chosen field. He’s not either 

He’s belittling her for achieving what he did not do. Kind of puffing himself up at her expense. 

She should say a very loud No but they say love is blind so we’ll see. 

I totally agree with you and that's the main point - I've said this again and again, that Myrla's success is a problem for Gil because he thinks HE should be the one with more money so he can be the one paying the bills like his father did.  I said that I saw his attitude as sexist WEEKS ago and it turns out that he is only confirming what I said.  He is expecting Myrla to have less so he can feel like the big man that supports not only his mother but his wife.  But she has worked hard and is not going to give that up any time soon.  And I don't think she should have to consider leaving her job for children after a maternity leave.   Why should she do that?  This is not the 1950s, a woman can have her career and have kids too.  She shouldn't be told by anyone that she should have to give up her job and live on half her SINGLE income!  That's just such an insult to her and to women in general!

I knew that Gil made that much less than she does - I posted several times that his income couldn't be that good as an entry level fireman plus supporting his mother.  His attitude towards her is more like "sour grapes" than anything else.  He made such a big stink out of her spending because he sees himself as supporting her and having to pay for that stuff.  But she supports herself so his problem is nothing but his big sexist EGO.  That's the only reason he "disapproves" of her spending.  If he made more money he wouldn't be acting like she spends too much.  Unfortunately coming from his culture his attitude is not unheard of even in this day and age.

[buttersister]

1 hour ago, CSunshine76 said:

Quit being cheap Jose! 

His reaction is part cheap, part feeling insecure outside of Texas or Vegas. Ugh. Just say no, Rachel. 

[kristen111]

2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I actually found it interesting.  It appears that every couple had to talk to friends or family and also have a talk with each other.  I think several were honest in what they were concerned about.  Others not so much. 
 

we did get  info on Gil and Myrla’s income disparity.  Based on what he said- Myrla makes twice as much as he does. They also both come from families where the father paid for everything.  That’s a lot of his concern right there.  He can’t pay for everything at the level Myrla spends.  Now she doesn’t expect him to pay her way ….but they need to learn to live on one income because things happen. 
Rachel doesn’t think that Jose listens because he doesn’t immediately agree to European and Asian vacations.   She doesn’t listen to him either. 

I loved Bao saying No means we are done  

 

 

My oldest was smart.  Right after college, she went with a group tour her age to Europe by herself.  A tour bus .. 10 countries in two weeks.  They saw everything.  The best vacation of her life.  She’s so glad she went as her husband doesn’t like to travel out of the country.  That’s what Rachel should do.  Go on a tour.  Some men don’t like that stuff, so why force them.  My husband was in Europe in the Army and doesn’t want to go, but told me to go with my girlfriend.  Rachel wants to go to Switzerland and Tyland.  Why should he go if he doesn’t want to?  She should have gone already with a tour.  Besides it’s dangerous.  She’s adamant about it.  In marriage, it’s ok to do things by yourself or with a friend.  That’s compromise.  I don’t know if it’s the times or what, but everyone here is selfish.  They just want what they want no matter what.  I have to watch football every weekend because the King here loves it.  I hate freakin football.,but he will take me to the City to see a play.  He saw Fanthom of the Opera 3 times with me.  That’s compromise, even tho he was snoring, haha.  Who cares.  I get what I want and so does he.  Sometimes not together.  Ryan is a shithead.  He should have given her the courtesy of a sit down talk, instead of just leaving.  He’s no gentleman.  She deserved better.

[Spectator]

Ummmm…in the preview for next week, Zack said that outside of his mom, Michaela is the most amazing woman he has ever known??? What?? Did I hear that right?

So, all I have to say about that is that that must mean that Michaela must be the ONLY woman Zack knows outside of his mom. What other explanation could there be for that??? Lol

Summary: Zack, honey, you really really really need to meet more women. Like, now.

[Rae Spellman]

Gil is a perfectly fine, traditional guy who would be content with a simple life. The experts paired him with someone less traditional who doesn't want a simple life. If GIl needs Myrla to change in order for him to be happy in his marriage, he might as well say no on decision day. Even if Myrla was inclined to change to preserve a marriage with a man she met eight weeks ago, she and therefore they might end up very unhappy longterm. Also, there are plenty of women out there who would be a better fit for him. 

Tangentally, Houston should pay their firefighters more. My employer, in an admittedly HCOL area pays first year firefighters just over $98K. 

No Zack! Run! Sadly, something about Michaela or this process keeps drawing Zack in. Hopefully, he'll recover from this terrible experiment and find a calmer, more emotionally stable woman in a few years. 

I enjoyed Ryan on Unfiltered and in his interactions with the cast members that weren't Brett.

What a journey this season has been. Decision day could be interesting. 

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Kira53 said:

Things happen- like pregnancy.  If she wants to stay home for more maternity time they won’t have that big income to live on.  She can’t compromise that much.  Gil isn’t going to be able to replace that income - unless he gets Jamie Otis’s job.  Gil is gunning for that.  They are too opposite to fully attract.  Myrna made an early decision not to sleep with a Fireman - the financial disparity was too much.  Beth’s Jamie has the kind of income she was hoping for.  Ryan probably has the income acceptable to her but he would not be attracted to her either.  His sister would tell you that too.   They would be super boring together.  Jose might have been financially close to what she would want.  They would have clashed and he’d be to small but Jose has hair.  I can’t imagine how negative she would be about those matches.  

Rachel in the summer.......She has a side we didn’t get to see.  Rachel  should’ve been listening and told Jose that they could go skiing in Switzerland since he suggested a ski vacation.  Skiing is very expensive so I was surprised he would consider that kind of vacation.  She doesn’t listen either. She just want somebody to do what she wants to do which is great you just shouldn’t get married at first sight because you’re not going to get that stuff. 

Jose probably wants to ski in Colorado.  Nothing wrong with that.  It’s close.  Rachel should have done all her traveling already at her age.  These women want everything.  Husbands don’t want to do these things maybe.  Why force them?

[kristen111]

13 minutes ago, Spectator said:

Ummmm…in the preview for next week, Zack said that outside of his mom, Michaela is the most amazing woman he has ever known??? What?? Did I hear that right?

So, all I have to say about that is that that must mean that Michaela must be the ONLY woman Zack knows outside of his mom. What other explanation could there be for that??? Lol

Summary: Zack, honey, you really really really need to meet more women. Like, now.

Michaela is a sneaky bitch.  She tells people everything but the truth. She makes it like it’s his fault.  I don’t know how he has sex with a maniac.  
Gil may want Jamie’s job, but she will kill him first.  She’s the breadwinner there.  She’s driven.  Doug is the babysitter.  It seems to work tho.

[GettingGray]

22 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Gil may want Jamie’s job, but she will kill him first.  She’s the breadwinner there.  She’s driven.  Doug is the babysitter.  It seems to work tho.

I don't think the show would have Gil as a host if he gets a divorce.

[NowVoyager]

Zach is afraid to tell Michaela an outright "no" because he doesn't want her to go full hurricane, punching the air, flipping tables. He's trying to let her down easy. Smart. Plus, it leaves the door open for sex.

[Ms.C.]

8 hours ago, buttersister said:

Ryan is still trash.

His whole Hollywood fantasy was dumb.  He never really tried.  I see a sensitive side to him but he can’t seem to bring those emotional walls doen. 

6 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

Jose and Rachel will never see eye to eye. She wants an every other year trip out of the country. He wants to drive two hours across I-10 to San Antonio. There is no compromise between those two!

And for the record, I’m with Rachel. Im a born and raised Texan and love my long weekend trips to other parts of Texas.  But that absolutely does not count as my “vacation” for the year. Quit being cheap Jose! 

I think they kind of agreed on that tacitly.  Jose hears but doesn’t always respond.  I yhink they’re a good couple and I think he’s learned a lot about himself.  

4 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Michaela is a sneaky bitch.  She tells people everything but the truth. She makes it like it’s his fault.  I don’t know how he has sex with a maniac.  
Gil may want Jamie’s job, but she will kill him first.  She’s the breadwinner there.  She’s driven.  Doug is the babysitter.  It seems to work tho.

Michaela is stunning and Zabck notices.  So we’ve seen the worst of her.  Zack says she’s fun. Editing sometimes hides the real story.  The repetitive crashing through clip distorts reality.  
 

I think Jamie is great. Positive, savvy.  Gil is great but frankly sort of passive   What’s funny is Gil would be first to compliment Jamie on the job she does and the last to complain about her - which is exactly what he doesn’t like about his wife   

 

[Jeanne222]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't understand these people that are so set in their ways and want everything their way or no way.  If you get like that over something as minor as this in the big scheme of things you're never going to last in any marriage, period.  Geesh, just say, "Whatever, we'll figure it out" and leave it at that.  Is that the hill you want your relationship to die on?  Look at the big picture!  Life has a habit of changing your plans whether you like it or not, so just go with the flow on some of this stuff and take a "wait and see" attitude.  José gets a lot of crap for being the controlling one in the relationship but the 800 pound gorilla in their relationship is Rachel.  She can be just as controlling in her passive refusal to compromise.  Seriously, it's no wonder these people haven't found a long term significant other or spouse by this age!

Agree and perhaps since none of them have found love on their own the debate is settle with this one chosen for you or continue down the alone road!

That's the decision awaiting them on decision day!

[kristen111]

10 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Thank you! I was pondering whether to watch this or not. I’m going to just check in to the finale to see who ended up with who or not. 

Well, don’t hold your breath.  They have to talk it out with thr family, friends, the mailman, butcher, garbage man, blah, blah.  It will never end.  Maybe by Christmas.

what I want to know is what kind of job let’s these people off for more than two months to do a show?

[Empress1]

8 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

Jose and Rachel will never see eye to eye. She wants an every other year trip out of the country. He wants to drive two hours across I-10 to San Antonio. There is no compromise between those two!

And for the record, I’m with Rachel. Im a born and raised Texan and love my long weekend trips to other parts of Texas.  But that absolutely does not count as my “vacation” for the year. Quit being cheap Jose! 

I agree, but it seems like Jose just doesn’t care if he ever sees the countries Rachel wants to see. Like, travel isn’t an interest of his. Rachel may need to find other people to travel with.

7 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Rachel should have done all her traveling already at her age.

Huh? There’s no age limit on travel, and even if there were, Rachel is young. Lots of people like to travel - some parents take their kids on international trips (which I think is good for kids). Lots of people ramp up their travel in retirement because they have time to do so.

7 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

If GIl needs Myrla to change in order for him to be happy in his marriage, he might as well say no on decision day. 

I’ve defended Gil, but I have to say I don’t know what he wants Myrla to do. Quit her job and make less money? That’s … ridiculous, sorry.

10 hours ago, buttersister said:

Ryan is still trash.

Brett is done, as well she should be. That side hug said it all. She was nice not to blow up his dating app spot with the group. I might have. She deserves better.

When Johnny said he thought he was even-keeled I was like “?!” All he’s done is cry and throw tantrums. At least he admitted to being a mess.

1 minute ago, kristen111 said:

what I want to know is what kind of job let’s these people off for more than two months to do a show?

They work while filming - previous casts have mentioned it. Actually Brett said so this episode - Ryan asked what she’d been up to and she said working. I think the group get-togethers and couples outings happen evenings and weekends.

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, kristen111 said:

My oldest was smart.  Right after college, she went with a group tour her age to Europe by herself.  A tour bus .. 10 countries in two weeks.  They saw everything.  The best vacation of her life.  She’s so glad she went as her husband doesn’t like to travel out of the country.  That’s what Rachel should do.  Go on a tour.  Some men don’t like that stuff, so why force them.  My husband was in Europe in the Army and doesn’t want to go, but told me to go with my girlfriend.  Rachel wants to go to Switzerland and Tyland.  Why should he go if he doesn’t want to?  She should have gone already with a tour.  Besides it’s dangerous.  She’s adamant about it.  In marriage, it’s ok to do things by yourself or with a friend.  That’s compromise.  I don’t know if it’s the times or what, but everyone here is selfish.  They just want what they want no matter what.  I have to watch football every weekend because the King here loves it.  I hate freakin football.,but he will take me to the City to see a play.  He saw Fanthom of the Opera 3 times with me.  That’s compromise, even tho he was snoring, haha.  Who cares.  I get what I want and so does he.  Sometimes not together.  Ryan is a shithead.  He should have given her the courtesy of a sit down talk, instead of just leaving.  He’s no gentleman.  She deserved better.

OMG, you took the words right out of my mouth!  If Rachel is such an "independent woman" she shouldn't be so fixated on doing everything with José anyway.  She should be like, "Well, fine, I'll go with my friends instead".  He may not like that, though.  He may want her to do everything with him.  It remains to be seen how he would act under those circumstances.  But what concerns me is the way she's acting you'd never think kids were on the table.  She's not getting any younger and does she think she's going to want to travel to Thailand and Switzerland with little babies in tow?  It's like she can't even think into the future at all and thinks her life circumstances are always going to be the same.  

BTW, my husband's sister loves cruising but her husband hates it so she goes with everyone from her cousin to the neighbor.  She was just starting to work on me and my husband when the pandemic hit, LOL.  I've never been on a cruise and I'd love to go, but I have extremely bad motion sickness so I'm not in any rush.  Her husband is fine with it.  The people on this show need to GROW UP.

9 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Huh? There’s no age limit on travel, and even if there were, Rachel is young. Lots of people like to travel - some parents take their kids on international trips (which I think is good for kids). Lots of people ramp up their travel in retirement because they have time to do so.

Yes, but see above about kids.  Especially when they're little.  I'm not sure she would even want to schlep them when they're very little.  She isn't thinking.  She doesn't know what it would be like.  She'll find out.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Gil is a perfectly fine, traditional guy who would be content with a simple life. The experts paired him with someone less traditional who doesn't want a simple life. If GIl needs Myrla to change in order for him to be happy in his marriage, he might as well say no on decision day. Even if Myrla was inclined to change to preserve a marriage with a man she met eight weeks ago, she and therefore they might end up very unhappy longterm. Also, there are plenty of women out there who would be a better fit for him. 

That would be all well and good, but Gil's expectations of a wife in this country expired around 1985.  These days it would be harder to find a young woman that is content to give up what she has to let him be the major breadwinner, be the boss of her finances and likely make all the important financial and other decisions in their lives.  And I don't think he is able to even share that role with a woman, which is sad, but that's what most women want these days, even so-called "traditional" women.  I think he would have better chances finding what he wants in his family's home country than here in the US.  He should be thrilled for Myrla that she is so accomplished and be supportive of her goals.  I personally don't like supporting men in what I see as a sexist point of view on romantic relationships.  And that is how I see his perspective.  Just my opinion.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Yeah No

[Empress1]

7 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yes, but see above about kids.  Especially when they're little.  I'm not sure she would even want to schlep them when they're very little.  She isn't thinking.  She doesn't know what it would be like.  She'll find out.

She may not, but people do take kids out of the country. Not just for recreation either; my grandfather lived (and is buried) out of the country and we visited him when my sibling and I were kids. I can think of a number of people I know who are either immigrants or the children of immigrants who grew up visiting family in their countries of origin.

Your life changes when you have kids, but it doesn’t have to stop. (I don’t remember if Rachel has said she wants kids anyway, and if she doesn’t that is fine.)

[kristen111]

Well, I have an answer.  Rachel, pick your choice.  If you like Jose and think you could have a decent life with him, make a choice.  Have a husband, or go to Switzerland.  You can’t have everything you want.  I’d pick the husband.  Now I’ll get bombarded, lol.

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

Zach is afraid to tell Michaela an outright "no" because he doesn't want her to go full hurricane, punching the air, flipping tables. He's trying to let her down easy. Smart. Plus, it leaves the door open for sex.

Yep, that's how I've been seeing Zach's behavior for weeks now.  It is so typical of men to think that this kind of "letting her down easy" tactic is going to work.  I've seen it before and it rarely works.  He's thinking like a guy but when a woman wants a whole relationship with a guy she's not going to settle for less unless she's a masochist, and Michaela may be batshit crazy but she's no masochist.  She has given every indication of wanting what she wants or nothing. She wants the whole enchilada, not just a "friends with bennies" relationship with him and I don't think he's going to talk her into wanting that.  So he's still in the danger zone of the path of Hurricane Michaela, unfortunately.  What he's doing may ultimately not only let her down but piss her off and that's even WORSE than just being straight with her and letting the chips fall where they may. 

[Empress1]

8 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Well, I have an answer.  Rachel, pick your choice.  If you like Jose and think you could have a decent life with him, make a choice.  Have a husband, or go to Switzerland.  You can’t have everything you want.  I’d pick the husband.  Now I’ll get bombarded, lol.

She can have both; he just won’t travel with her. And I think it’s she who’s pressed about that - he hasn’t says he doesn’t want her to travel; he’s said that HE doesn’t want to travel.

I mean, I’d have filed for divorce when he locked me out, so …

[mythoughtis]

What I don’t understand about Zach is that he keeps diving back in. He makes a clear boundary such as leaving the retreat or the meeting with Dr. Pepper.  But otherwise he keeps coming back-lunch after the second meeting with Dr. Pepper.  Then a sleepover. 
 

is it the sex?  Is it that he doesn’t want her to key his car?  Is it that he wants to be nicer than he thinks he is when he leaves? Is it that he really cares for her except when she’s a maniac?  Is it his contract with the show and he has to keep attempting reconciliations?

I see their drama continuing after decision day because ( unlike Bao) he doesn’t see a no as no. They will continue their dysfunctional relationship even if they get legally divorced. 

[Emma Snyder]

8 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

18 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Well, I have an answer.  Rachel, pick your choice.  If you like Jose and think you could have a decent life with him, make a choice.  Have a husband, or go to Switzerland.  You can’t have everything you want.  I’d pick the husband.  Now I’ll get bombarded, lol.

She can have both; he just won’t travel with her.

Except she said she doesn't want to travel with friends or her mom anymore, she wants to be married and travel with her husband.

20 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I don’t remember if Rachel has said she wants kids

When they went on the honeymoon and the bowl of condoms was there, she said something about "not being able to make babies" if they use those, so I assume she does want kids.

[Yeah No]

40 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

She may not, but people do take kids out of the country. Not just for recreation either; my grandfather lived (and is buried) out of the country and we visited him when my sibling and I were kids. I can think of a number of people I know who are either immigrants or the children of immigrants who grew up visiting family in their countries of origin.

Your life changes when you have kids, but it doesn’t have to stop. (I don’t remember if Rachel has said she wants kids anyway, and if she doesn’t that is fine.)

People do, but Rachel strikes me as not being the kind of person that would want kids to cramp her style while on vacation.  She likes being very active and independent and I'm not feeling that she would want kids getting in the way of that.  That may be me but it's how she strikes me.  She may change but that remains to be seen.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Yeah No

[kristen111]

31 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

She can have both; he just won’t travel with her. And I think it’s she who’s pressed about that - he hasn’t says he doesn’t want her to travel; he’s said that HE doesn’t want to travel.

I mean, I’d have filed for divorce when he locked me out, so …

Right.  What’s so hard to figure out.  I’d be more aware of his temper than going on trips.  Going to Europe or not is his choice.  She wants everything wrapped in a big red bow.  She’s better off single if that’s the way she thinks.

[Mercolleen]

10 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Once they have a narrative they just keep repeating it in the edits.  I watch anyway.  I wish that they would show more complexity to each person’s personality but that’s not how this show is ever edited.  

I really hate that pretty much all they have the participants talk about is "How do you feel about this relationship?" I feel like they used to show us more of their day-to-day together? Talking about way more random stuff? I've watched most of this season on fast-forward as I read the board comments from the night before.

[Yeah No]

5 minutes ago, Mercolleen said:

I really hate that pretty much all they have the participants talk about is "How do you feel about this relationship?" I feel like they used to show us more of their day-to-day together? Talking about way more random stuff? I've watched most of this season on fast-forward as I read the board comments from the night before.

I agree and have said similar before.  It's like now they just show them talking about the relationship rather than actually having the relationship.  It gets boring and not realistic after a while.  We want to see more of the relationship not all this blah, blah, blah BS all the time.

[Racj82]

56 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

What I don’t understand about Zach is that he keeps diving back in. He makes a clear boundary such as leaving the retreat or the meeting with Dr. Pepper.  But otherwise he keeps coming back-lunch after the second meeting with Dr. Pepper.  Then a sleepover. 
 

is it the sex?  Is it that he doesn’t want her to key his car?  Is it that he wants to be nicer than he thinks he is when he leaves? Is it that he really cares for her except when she’s a maniac?  Is it his contract with the show and he has to keep attempting reconciliations?

I see their drama continuing after decision day because ( unlike Bao) he doesn’t see a no as no. They will continue their dysfunctional relationship even if they get legally divorced. 

It's the sex.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

She can have both; he just won’t travel with her. And I think it’s she who’s pressed about that - he hasn’t says he doesn’t want her to travel; he’s said that HE doesn’t want to travel.

I mean, I’d have filed for divorce when he locked me out, so …

I don't know I think it may be more about the money with José than the travel.  He has made it clear that those big trips are budget busters as far as he's concerned and that's why he's suggesting smaller trips.  If not for the money I don't think he would be so against the travel.  He's all about his budget.  So I don't think he'd be any less against the trips if she went without him because they would still cost too much for his comfort.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Yeah No

[cinsays]

22 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

It's the sex.

I'd be afraid she tie him to the bed, playfully, you know......... and then stab him to death

[kristen111]

46 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I agree and have said similar before.  It's like now they just show them talking about the relationship rather than actually having the relationship.  It gets boring and not realistic after a while.  We want to see more of the relationship not all this blah, blah, blah BS all the time.

I think it’s because they are done with each other, and just biding time.  Waiting for the checks.  Their minds are already made up.  No good matches this season.  Show had better get on the ball.  We want nice .. not drama.

[Retired at last]

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

what I want to know is what kind of job let’s these people off for more than two months to do a show?

From what I heard from someone whose daughter worked with Luke, they go to their regular jobs (not taking 2 months off - just the 2 weeks for the honeymoon) and most of the filming is at night or the weekends. Unless things are going well, these people don't spend that much time together or even at their shared apartment. And this season, it looks like many haven't even been staying at the apartment. 

[Racj82]

39 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I think it’s because they are done with each other, and just biding time.  Waiting for the checks.  Their minds are already made up.  No good matches this season.  Show had better get on the ball.  We want nice .. not drama.

Eh. Not really. People love drama. You might not feel the same but people do want it. There is a happy medium that this show doesn't quite hit anymore. It's either trainwrecks or bland. 

[Racj82]

1 minute ago, Retired at last said:

From what I heard from someone whose daughter worked with Luke, they go to their regular jobs (not taking 2 months off - just the 2 weeks for the honeymoon) and most of the filming is at night or the weekends. Unless things are going well, these people don't spend that much time together or even at their shared apartment. And this season, it looks like many haven't even been staying at the apartment. 

It's rough. A lot of people don't work or JUST work 9 to 5 jobs anymore. If I got cast on the show somehow they would barely see us together. I basically work from 12 pm to 12 am. I usually spend half of Saturday dead to the world because I'm so tired from the week. That's why a lot of reality shows have people without "real" jobs. They are constantly available to film.

[kristen111]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Huh? There’s no age limit on travel, and even if there were, Rachel is young. Lots of people like to travel - some parents take their kids on international trips (which I think is good for kids). Lots of people ramp up their travel in retirement because they have time to do so.

I mean I’m sure she has traveled lots already.  Plus she could travel when married too, even with kids.  Just because he doesn’t want to go to Switzerland, doesn’t mean she can’t go.  She will give up marriage because he doesn’t want to travel ?  Then, she should stay single and trave wherever she wants to go.  I’ve never heard of such an excuse.

[Mr. Miner]

Jose better go somewhere or do something in the Summer. Rachel already said she gets really bored and cranky if things aren't going her way in the Summer when she's off. I think they might be 0 for 5 this season.

[Empress1]

11 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

From what I heard from someone whose daughter worked with Luke, they go to their regular jobs (not taking 2 months off - just the 2 weeks for the honeymoon) and most of the filming is at night or the weekends. Unless things are going well, these people don't spend that much time together or even at their shared apartment. And this season, it looks like many haven't even been staying at the apartment. 

Before they put up the couples in housing and they had to find and pay for their own shared housing, they’d have conversations about how long their commutes were from whatever places they had in mind. This isn’t like Survivor where they’re all away from home doing nothing but the show. Though it does sound exhausting to work all day and then come home and have to navigate all this - the logistics of filming, the stress of being on camera, and navigating a new relationship.

[Retired at last]

I guess there is not much to say because it has all been said before - many times. The pace of this show is ridiculous. We see/hear the same things every week. With all the filler episodes and scenes, there is really about 4 weeks of show.

Rachel and Jose are just a horrible couple. He, with his devil face, just creeps me out. She, with her rate of speaking and her serious, solemn face like she is saying something so deep and profound, when she really says NOTHING is too annoying. Of course, she should travel with her friends. She wants her husband to do what SHE wants, but he doesn't want to - so quit complaining, you know who he is, and find some travel buddies. Now, if he gives her a hard time, and she has identified that this is something she truly wants to do - dump him. Do your traveling during the summer and stop making it a big deal. If they stay together, it won't last. She is always waiting for the NEXT time he rages and then will say she is done; he is waiting for her to cheat again, which I think she will. And then, HE will leave.  Awful couple.

This was the first time we have really seen Myrla say anything about the status of the marriage and her goals. Usually she says she is happy with her husband. I continue to think that they have been playing the game all season and they know it will not work. I hope they did have some fun together, though. 

Ryan is just frustrating. When he is on Unfiltered or a TH, he has a personality. When he is with Brett, he gives her nothing. I know he is not attracted to her in any way and that is challenging. He knows she is a great person, but if the sparks aren't there, there is nothing either of them can do. What is frustrating is that he seems to want to say the right things, but when he is with her, nothing comes out. He is not a bad guy, just the wrong guy for her. I am glad that she is finally seeing the end, and while she is disappointed, she knows she deserves much better. It is still so sad to see her being so hurt and broken down.

Johnny is just an ass and his waffling back and forth is not believable. He checked out as soon as he recognized her as someone he wasn't attracted to or interested in 15 years ago. I like Bao, and she does realize that she is in her head too much. Hope she finds a nice guy and they all just back away from their wish lists. Johnny deserves to be alone until he finishes years of therapy.

There is nothing to say about Zack and Michaela. She can pretend that she is fine and just has to work on a few things, but she is no where near being ready for a relationship. I do think that Zack does think she is great, but that is when she is calm Michaela and not getting ready to throw furniture at him. He can't take a chance that he could come home and find her waiting to cut his head off. (Think Jack Nicholson in The Shining.)

I hope when they have D Day next week (FINALLY), they let the women give their answers first. I don't want to see Bao humiliated again if Johnny says no. Same with Brett - let her go first. I think both Jose and Rachel will say yes, although they will waffle around and won't last a year, but it doesn't matter. I have gained an appreciation for Myrla and want her to go first and just get it over with. I think she will say no. I don't want Michaela to say yes, because Zack will say no and as much as I don't really like her, I don't want her to be hurt even more.

And this is supposed to be entertaining?

 

 

Edited November 4, 2021 by Retired at last