S13.E08: Family & Friends & Feelings, Oh My!

[Lindz]

On 9/9/2021 at 5:47 PM, Elizzikra said:

I know they have put them in 2 bedroom apartments in the past and I think that's a good idea. It makes me angrier when they go back to their respective homes since they can sleep separately and each have his/her own space if things are going south.

THIS!!! It is MAJOR for a spouse to sleep outside of THEIR home. That's a message. A dangerous message. They've literally got their feet out the door. They don't take the commitment seriously. 😅 It's so disrespectful to the spouse & the marriage. Zack is an exception because of his spouse's scary behavior. 

[cardigirl]

I've been thinking about Zack and Michaela a lot, after a discussion I had with my sister, who said she had some sympathy for Michaela because she also suffers from abandonment issues, which cause her to act out by crying hysterically. (My sister is 63, btw.)    

Now, I understand having things in our past that have hurt us and cause us to react to situations with fear and anger, but my response to my sister is this: when you know that it's an issue, shouldn't you be finding a more positive way to deal with these feelings?  I don't understand why Pastor Cal didn't talk to Michaela about that.  What Michaela really wants is to draw Zack closer to her, and reacting the way she did, with extreme anger and out-of-control verbalization is not the way to do that. 

As others have pointed out, counseling would go a long way to helping Michaela figure out a better way to communicate how she wants to be treated, or how certain things make her feel. But she also needs to recognize that words hurt, and even after one apologizes, there is damage and trust lost, and the only way to regain that trust is to show changed behavior. 

Zach is married, so his wife's issues are now his problems to deal with, and I think he's decided that he doesn't want to deal with them, which is what Pastor Cal was trying to tell him, that in marriage, you deal with the difficult stuff, and Zach is saying, um, "No."  LOL. 

As for Jose and his white board at the party, I was fast-forwarding through the show and saw him showing that off, and just about died laughing. Comedy show!  😆

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Also no one would judge a man for owning some fine items.  Some of the things the men on this show have owned are not cheap whether it be their cars like BMWs, nice watches or other items.  But no one made a huge deal about them.  Some people spend a lot on things that most people wouldn't even think are that expensive like fine cookware and knives.  So I still think it's really unfair to judge Myrla for her shoe collection and it still feels sexist to me.  Just because it's fashion it's considered "frivolous".  I don't like the implication.

I definitely judged Chris from last season for his expensive (yet somehow still tacky) taste. Granted, a big part of my judgment was that he clearly could not afford what he was buying, but I'm equally judgey across the sexes...

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

When Cal was interviewing them as a couple, I think she said she dates someone several months before kissing, so if she’s on the same timeline here maybe by the end of the show!

I wouldn’t wait that long, most likely. If a man I was dating didn’t kiss me within months, I would assume he didn’t like me that way and move on. I think in the preview for the next episode, Gil says he wants to be desired and I get it. Sex is one thing but if I’m not getting kissed on the lips after a few dates, I’m going to move on.

[cardigirl]

14 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I wouldn’t wait that long, most likely. If a man I was dating didn’t kiss me within months, I would assume he didn’t like me that way and move on. I think in the preview for the next episode, Gil says he wants to be desired and I get it. Sex is one thing but if I’m not getting kissed on the lips after a few dates, I’m going to move on.

Why would he keep asking you out then?  Only interested in friendship?  I'm genuinely curious how the situation would arise. I've been out of the dating pool for so long. 

Edited September 13, 2021 by cardigirl

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, cardigirl said:

Why would he keep asking you out then?  Only interested in friendship?  I'm genuinely curious how the situation would arise. I've been out of the dating pool for so long. 

I don’t think most people would keep asking people out on dates if there was no physical activity, unless there was an explicit conversation about it, like “I’m saving myself for marriage.” Even “I like to take it slow” has limits. Myrla seems to have made it work for her if she’s been in relationships with men that she took months to kiss, but that’s pretty surprising to me.

I matched with a man on an app and went on a couple of dates with him. I liked him as a person but wasn’t attracted to him (I tried, it just wasn’t there) and I told him I’d be down for friendship but understood if that wasn’t what he wanted. And it wasn’t, and I did understand. Friends are great and I think good romantic relationships have friendships at the center, but you also want to lust & be lusted after the person you’re with.

Gil and Myrla can have all the banter in the world but if she’s not going to show him any physical affection, I fully understand why he’d walk. I would too. I felt the same way about Clara and Ryan last season when she said she was getting him off & not getting anything in return.

Edited September 13, 2021 by Empress1

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I definitely judged Chris from last season for his expensive (yet somehow still tacky) taste. Granted, a big part of my judgment was that he clearly could not afford what he was buying, but I'm equally judgey across the sexes...

There were plenty of reasons to judge tacky Chris based on his apparent spending beyond his means that didn't even have to do with his wardrobe, and judging his tackiness is not the same as what I'm talking about.  What I'm talking about is that high end autos, watches, nice shoes, etc. are usually seen as aspirational and a sign that a man is successful, not that he's irresponsible and spends too much money on frivolous things.  That's a stereotype usually placed on women, often unfairly.  I don't know too many people that would make a huge deal about that with Gil if he had some high end possessions, especially if he could afford them and didn't go crazy with them like Myrla hasn't.  They would probably assume he could afford them and leave it at that.  They'd say, "Oh, he seems like a responsible guy".  But Myrla doesn't get that benefit of the doubt even after she PROVES that she has a healthy bank account and doesn't go shopping that often.

Edited September 13, 2021 by Yeah No

[Booger666]

My issue with Myrla isn’t the spending, it’s the focus on the labels.  She has mentioned it multiple times and her friends shamed her for showing up to a clothes drive dripping in labels.  For someone so into beauty and aesthetics she keeps empty liquor bottles lined up on her counter to show off the labels.  It doesn’t get more tacky than that.  She defines herself by designer labels and an extreme focus on physical appearances and that makes her come across as shallow.  

[Yeah No]

7 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

My issue with Myrla isn’t the spending, it’s the focus on the labels.  She has mentioned it multiple times and her friends shamed her for showing up to a clothes drive dripping in labels.  For someone so into beauty and aesthetics she keeps empty liquor bottles lined up on her counter to show off the labels.  It doesn’t get more tacky than that.  She defines herself by designer labels and an extreme focus on physical appearances and that makes her come across as shallow.  

Well obviously this season's Ryan is sporting some designer names given what I've seen him wearing on Unfiltered - I recognized a few big names there like Gucci, etc.  And NO ONE said a WORD about that.  He obviously likes to project the image of wealth by wearing designer names himself.  No one has called him irresponsible or spending beyond his means or defining himself by his labels.  Plus we don't even know what these people spend on that you don't see.  The only reason we know about Myrla's shoes is because they were featured on the show.  But I am sure there are a lot of men and women on this show that spend much more and we don't even know about it.

[mythoughtis]

3 hours ago, cardigirl said:

Zach is married, so his wife's issues are now his problems to deal with, and I think he's decided that he doesn't want to deal with them, which is what Pastor Cal was trying to tell him, that in marriage, you deal with the difficult stuff, and Zach is saying, um, "No."  LOL. 

Yes, Zach is married.  To someone he’s known less than two weeks.  Several days of which they were apart. Married to someone he doesn’t know much about and has no history with.  He found her attractive, yes, but he doesn’t  know her  well enough to love her.  In order to want to stay and deal with  the problems Michaela has, you have to love her and want to be with her. I knew about my spouses depression issues before I married him. I developed a relationship with him before I married him.  I chose to be married to him knowing the situation.  That doesn’t mean it’s been wonderful 24/7/365 for our 30+ years.   
I would have left within the first year if I didn’t already  know him and love him and want to be with him. 
Zack shouldn’t feel like he needs to continue this if he doesn’t want to.  The other 4 couples aren’t in danger every time they are together. 

[cardigirl]

1 minute ago, mythoughtis said:

Yes, Zach is married.  To someone he’s known less than two weeks.  Several days of which they were apart. Married to someone he doesn’t know much about and has no history with.  He found her attractive, yes, but he doesn’t  know her  well enough to love her.  In order to want to stay and deal with  the problems Michaela has, you have to love her and want to be with her. I knew about my spouses depression issues before I married him. I developed a relationship with him before I married him.  I chose to be married to him knowing the situation.  That doesn’t mean it’s been wonderful 24/7/365 for our 30+ years.   
I would have left within the first year if I didn’t already  know him and love him and want to be with him. 
Zack shouldn’t feel like he needs to continue this if he doesn’t want to.  The other 4 couples aren’t in danger every time they are together. 

I agree, he's found himself in a situation that is difficult. Doesn't detract from the point that sometimes marriage is difficult. But in MAFS, the couples agree to be matched, and skip the dating part of it to get straight to the "legally binding marriage" part of it, which brings all of those issues that one might learn about in the dating phase and decide if they want to continue the relationship or not.  I'm not saying he should stay with Michaela, in fact I think I said, I wondered why Pastor Cal didn't counsel Michaela on better ways to communicate with her spouse than reacting the way she did. 

However, we've seen that this show doesn't do the best job in checking in on participants' mental states (looking at Johnnie here). 

[Ilovepie]

40 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Yes, Zach is married.  To someone he’s known less than two weeks.  Several days of which they were apart. Married to someone he doesn’t know much about and has no history with.  He found her attractive, yes, but he doesn’t  know her  well enough to love her.  In order to want to stay and deal with  the problems Michaela has, you have to love her and want to be with her. I knew about my spouses depression issues before I married him. I developed a relationship with him before I married him.  I chose to be married to him knowing the situation.  That doesn’t mean it’s been wonderful 24/7/365 for our 30+ years.   
I would have left within the first year if I didn’t already  know him and love him and want to be with him. 
Zack shouldn’t feel like he needs to continue this if he doesn’t want to.  The other 4 couples aren’t in danger every time they are together. 

100%!!!!! This show has a history of casting people with a plethora of issues that would be better dealt with by a (real) therapist, and then the "experts pressuring the healthy adult they were matched with to just be understanding and help them, or my favorite, "balance out" the other. That is completely unfair to the person who came into this process in a good place ready to be matched. They are not their spouse's psychologist or therapist - shoot, at this point, they are barely acquaintances! People who are this emotionally damaged should be weeded out early. Although in Michaela's case, I think she did a good job hiding the crazy.......

[buttersister]

Quote

what Pastor Cal was trying to tell him, that in marriage, you deal with the difficult stuff, and Zach is saying, um, "No."  

No shit. Matching Hurricane K with anyone is irresponsible (even for this show). Did they interview her family beforehand? After getting burned by Chris (or overlooking or getting excited by his mental problems), you'd think they'd be more careful. Oh, wait. Wasn't that why they put Unreal on the air? Yes, it was. And it makes me picture the evil producers off camera all. the. time.

[Yeah No]

4 minutes ago, buttersister said:

No shit. Matching Hurricane K with anyone is irresponsible (even for this show). Did they interview her family beforehand? After getting burned by Chris (or overlooking or getting excited by his mental problems), you'd think they'd be more careful. Oh, wait. Wasn't that why they put Unreal on the air? Yes, it was. And it makes me picture the evil producers off camera all. the. time.

They are full of it and making excuses, hiding behind the story that these people fool them.  I'm sorry but both Chris and Micheala could be seen coming a mile a way in a snow storm.  The first time either of them was on my screen half the audience including me had them pegged as bad choices.  All the red flags were there and waving.  The show can't be THAT bad at picking people.  But you are picturing the evil producers so I don't have to tell you who is really picking them and why.

[Gator Stud]

p

 

On 9/10/2021 at 11:48 PM, Blissfool said:

I'm curious to see what exactly is Johnny's type. They way he and Bao talk about college-Johnny, it seems like he might have dated crazy party girls.

This is who he REALLY wants to date

Edited September 13, 2021 by Gator Stud

[Gator Stud]

On 9/11/2021 at 4:24 PM, Blissfool said:

And you know Myrla isn't shopping at no Piggly Wiggly. She's shopping organic and she's shopping at Whole Foods.

Most likely Central Market.  That is more exclusive than Whole Foods. And a better vibe.  I hope that someone goes out on a date at Benjy's in Rice Village or Boehme. I used to love those places.

[Jax7917]

18 hours ago, Lindz said:

He said they were, "loud, boisterous, & made a scene." That is inappropriate "confrontation." No one should have to deal with unhealthy, unproductive confrontation. It's perfectly reasonable to walk away from confrontation with a psycho. That crazy behavior is a major red flag. That's different from running from the "slightest bit of confrontation." Apples to oranges.

Okay but maybe when you have several exes like that , maybe you’re part of the problem ? Not saying she’s not crazy . I know she is . But that doesn’t mean he’s perfect . 

[kristen111]

For at least once, I would like to see the couples get married and all fall in love with each other.  I would like to see the Honeymoon places they go to, where and what they eat, and having fun doing activities that honeymooners do.  Taking little fun trips down a River, dancing to nice music at night, then go to bed.  No fighting for one season at least.  This fighting and carrying on like crazy lunatics is too much already.  I’d like some fantasy for a change.  That last season with Chris and what’s her face was too much for me.  Every marriage is not a disaster.  Or, how about meeting up, courting, then getting married?  Something pleasant.

[Alexander Pope]

15 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

For at least once, I would like to see the couples get married and all fall in love with each other.  I would like to see the Honeymoon places they go to, where and what they eat, and having fun doing activities that honeymooners do.  Taking little fun trips down a River, dancing to nice music at night, then go to bed.  No fighting for one season at least.  This fighting and carrying on like crazy lunatics is too much already.  I’d like some fantasy for a change.  That last season with Chris and what’s her face was too much for me.  Every marriage is not a disaster.  Or, how about meeting up, courting, then getting married?  Something pleasant.

I completely agree.  New Orleans was the closest we were going to get to that.  Life is stressful right now--I would like to see something positive.

[Ilovepie]

15 hours ago, kristen111 said:

For at least once, I would like to see the couples get married and all fall in love with each other.  I would like to see the Honeymoon places they go to, where and what they eat, and having fun doing activities that honeymooners do.  Taking little fun trips down a River, dancing to nice music at night, then go to bed.  No fighting for one season at least.  This fighting and carrying on like crazy lunatics is too much already.  I’d like some fantasy for a change.  That last season with Chris and what’s her face was too much for me.  Every marriage is not a disaster.  Or, how about meeting up, courting, then getting married?  Something pleasant.

From your keyboard to the producers ears........I know the drama draws some people in, but it also turns some off (me included). I think they need at lease two couples that have a fighting chance of being successful. It's just gross otherwise. You would think they have a vested interest in making more successful couples because that gives them more people for Couples Cam.......

[Retired at last]

But, on the other hand, do people really want a season made up of just Bobby and Danielles? I guess they were the most boring, but even a season with just people like Jessica and Austins would still be boring, although I am  happy they are still together. But, I would like to see more couples with possibilities and not the 0/5 they have been doing lately. (No spoilers, just speculation for this season.)

[AussieBabe]

31 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

But, on the other hand, do people really want a season made up of just Bobby and Danielles? I guess they were the most boring, but even a season with just people like Jessica and Austins would still be boring, although I am  happy they are still together. But, I would like to see more couples with possibilities and not the 0/5 they have been doing lately. (No spoilers, just speculation for this season.)

Agreed. The way to have happy couples but still have some drama is pair people that stand a fighting chance. If I say I don’t want dogs or to be a pet owner, don’t put me with one. (This actually was one of my non-negotiables when I met my husband. I had an ex who shared custody with their ex because she didn’t want to split the dogs up. Outside of that, walking on fur, dog drool, the smell, etc. all repulsed me. I’m not a dog hater. I just never ever want to live with one again.)

In all honesty, people are going to have disagreements because we’re human. We all have different temperaments or even been through things that might trigger us. We don’t all think the same. It happens at work all the time. While we’re all good working on the same team, we all have different ideas and opinions that leads to butting heads.

The producers think it’s endearing to pair a person who doesn’t want children/indifferent with a person who absolutely does. (Olivia and Brett). Religious differences. Taking out the weirdness that was Fer Sure aka Ryan, he wanted to raise children in a religious household whereas Clara wasn’t particularly interested in that.

These people have philosophical issues that aren’t like compromising on the side of the bed or deciding to live in the suburbs vs. the metro area. Those are things where you can find a happy-medium.

I want to see more success and less 0/5 seasons. This season it would’ve been nice to have anybody to root for. Instead we see almost a whole cast who could’ve utilised therapy before they decided dragging a stranger down with their baggage was the right move. (Looking at Johnny and Michaela right now.)

[LuvMyShows]

 

On 9/13/2021 at 11:26 AM, Booger666 said:

My issue with Myrla isn’t the spending, it’s the focus on the labels.  

Thinking back to the beginning of the season, it wasn't just the focus on the labels that caught the ire of the good folks on this forum...it was the insistence that she will not give up her lifestyle no matter what.  Currently, it sounds like she is able to afford her luxuries with her leftover money, and shop as a hobby (I think that's what she told Gil her hobby was).  But if they have a family, she may not have as much leftover money, and her luxury purchases may have to be curtailed.  Likewise her time will be taken up by family things.  That's not to say she won't have any me-time or money for purchases, but to decide now what you won't change those things before even coming close to that situation, seems unnecessarily and unproductively stubborn.

On 9/13/2021 at 12:33 AM, Yeah No said:

Meanwhile she is not asking him to support her.  She supports herself.  She is not making her shoe purchases his responsibility, but the way he's acting makes me think that's the way he is seeing it whether she wants him to or not.  And IMO, it's just another ingrained sexist perspective that some men have.

So, given what I said above, I don't think that Gil is worried that he will have to support her.  I think he's worried that she will be inflexible when it comes to how her share of the finances are handled, when it requires change or sacrifice. 

[Yeah No]

14 hours ago, Retired at last said:

But, on the other hand, do people really want a season made up of just Bobby and Danielles? I guess they were the most boring, but even a season with just people like Jessica and Austins would still be boring, although I am  happy they are still together. But, I would like to see more couples with possibilities and not the 0/5 they have been doing lately. (No spoilers, just speculation for this season.)

I don't think the alternative to "boring" has to be an obvious train wreck.  There are a lot of interesting people that aren't boring.  This show just doesn't find them because the people doing the choosing aren't looking for that.  They want conflict, not success.  I actually think the happy medium in that regard is a couple like Jamie and Elizabeth.  Not boring and not always in agreement, but a success.

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

So, given what I said above, I don't think that Gil is worried that he will have to support her.  I think he's worried that she will be inflexible when it comes to how her share of the finances are handled, when it requires change or sacrifice. 

Perhaps but even when finances are split men tend to look at a woman or anyone in their household as a dependent.  And it would especially be true if he envisions having children and his wife took time off from work.  He is at least feeling that she is putting more pressure on him to support them while she goes off and spends on personal items. 

I really don't think Myrla is going to insist on spending lots of money on clothes if she has new financial responsibilities.  Her priorities and lifestyle might naturally change.  What she is resisting is being told she HAS to change them.  It's not that she will resist any natural change, it's that she will not change because someone tells her she should.  The way Gil came at her made her dig her heels in because IMO she felt like he was trying to dictate to her what she should do with her money.  THAT is the issue as I see it, not that she is going to be inflexible.

Edited September 15, 2021 by Yeah No

[TheBride]

I'm most interested in the dynamics of Johnny and Bao, most especially Johnny. He seems to be clinging to an imagined notion of what love should be, look like, feel like. I truly believe he's without a realistic and genuine sense of love to tap into, and we may (I hope) get a glimpse of why. He is a very nice person and has a quality of sweetness that is so appealing, but he has to get out of his head and into his heart. It will take loyalty on Bao's part to navigate this, though she has a habit of cutting bait and running.

[mythoughtis]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

What she is resisting is being told she HAS to change them.  It's not that she will resist any natural change, it's that she will not change because someone tells her she should. 

I understand what you are saying.  However that is not what she herself has stated. She has been asked on camera by the producers and on unfiltered more than once if there would be ANY situation where she would reduce her spending habits.  That’s not telling her she should.  That’s asking her if she can see a situation where she thinks she should.  She said No.  She has been asked if she would  consider paying part of Gils travel expenses to travel with her.  She said no.  That being deliberately obtuse to the realities of being married or having children. 

Your opinion is different than mine. That’s ok.

 

 

Edited September 15, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Gator Stud]

On 9/12/2021 at 5:47 PM, Retired at last said:

I just wonder at what point does Myrla generally feel comfortable enough with a date to kiss him good night? She and Gil have been living together (supposedly) for more than 2 weeks now, so he is clearly not a stranger anymore. And I also wonder how long her dating relationships have lasted, because there aren't too many guys who will wait around for just a sliver of affection.

That said, it assumes some degree of legitimacy to the living/sleeping arrangements and assumes that she shares a bed with him every night. (Which, again, I am beginning to doubt more and more for any of them!)

I dont understand this at all unless we have been played and they actually have been sleeting with each other.  When I was dating, I normally kissed the woman after the 1st date if things were going well.  If we went on two dates and there was no kiss, I moved on. 2 dates should be enough to know whether you want to kiss a person.  Her dragging it out is redics.

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't think the alternative to "boring" has to be an obvious train wreck.  There are a lot of interesting people that aren't boring.  This show just doesn't find them because the people doing the choosing aren't looking for that.  They want conflict, not success.  I actually think the happy medium in that regard is a couple like Jamie and Elizabeth.  Not boring and not always in agreement, but a success.

I completely agree with this! And I also find interesting some that were not a success - Keith & Iris, Dave & Amber, Olivia and Brett and Jake and Haley come to mind. All of these couples generated a ton of discussion without worry for the emotional or physical health of the individuals involved (well, maybe Amber, but I'm not going there again!). Even Erik and VA and Ryan and Clara fit that category for me. Sometimes the will they/won't they couples are the most interesting. But I hate when it's obvious to anyone with eyes and ears that some individuals should have been quickly moved to the un-matchable pile, and then to see them put with someone deserving of a real chance, it's just unpleasant to watch. And even more unforgivable, it's totally boring because we all know it's not going to work before the end of episode 2 or 3 and we still have 15 more unbearable episodes to watch.....Gah!

[qtpye]

Funny

[Lindz]

How did I forget Zack's divorce speak?? 😅 He told his friend they talked to "reconcile their differences." Methinks he's got those divorce papers drafted with that as the reason. 🤔

[Kira53]

On 9/13/2021 at 7:20 PM, Jax7917 said:

Okay but maybe when you have several exes like that , maybe you’re part of the problem ? Not saying she’s not crazy . I know she is . But that doesn’t mean he’s perfect . 

How can he be part of the problem?  He didn’t pick her, the producers did.  They knew his history.  He was looking for something different and depended upon the expert to pick better.  

On 9/13/2021 at 11:37 AM, Yeah No said:

Well obviously this season's Ryan is sporting some designer names given what I've seen him wearing on Unfiltered - I recognized a few big names there like Gucci, etc.  And NO ONE said a WORD about that.  He obviously likes to project the image of wealth by wearing designer names himself.  No one has called him irresponsible or spending beyond his means or defining himself by his labels.  Plus we don't even know what these people spend on that you don't see.  The only reason we know about Myrla's shoes is because they were featured on the show.  But I am sure there are a lot of men and women on this show that spend much more and we don't even know about it.

Ryan doesn’t talk about his labels or what he spends.  That’s the difference.  She made a point to talk labels.  

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Ryan doesn’t talk about his labels or what he spends.  That’s the difference.  She made a point to talk labels.  

Of course, but that's my point.  Other people don't talk about it but still have those labels nonetheless.  She made herself the target of criticism by making a big deal about it meanwhile she's no worse than those others may be.  She wants people to know she has those things because they are outward symbols of her success.  

[Jax7917]

On 9/15/2021 at 2:46 PM, Gator Stud said:

I dont understand this at all unless we have been played and they actually have been sleeting with each other.  When I was dating, I normally kissed the woman after the 1st date if things were going well.  If we went on two dates and there was no kiss, I moved on. 2 dates should be enough to know whether you want to kiss a person.  Her dragging it out is redics.

Yeah it’s bizarre . A kiss isn’t that serious , especially a peck . Hell , 2 year olds give other kids pecks on the lips . Myrla is comfortable enough to marry a stranger but not peck one . No way is she into Gil at all and she definitely was not meant for this situation . 

[Lois Sandborne]

On 9/9/2021 at 1:09 AM, endure said:

Myrla owns her shit and she is one of the most confident women I’ve seen on this show. 

Myrla lets everything bounce off of her. That's different from owning it in my book. She does have a very high opinion of herself though.