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90DF Live Chat 3: I Gave Up Everything To Be Here

Frozendiva

By Frozendiva
in 90 Day Fiancé

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Suzywriter
Suzywriter

Heyyyyyy all!!! As of yesterday, this girl has her Bachelor of Science in Mental Health and Human Services, with a MHRT/C Certificate! I turned 60 2 weeks ago.  

JennyMominFL
JennyMominFL

My hubby! doing well after  his second open heart surgery 

charmed1
charmed1

Surprise. It’s Sumit’s parents. 

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judylo

judylo

3 minutes ago, kacesq said:

Oh puhleeze. Razvan just isn’t what you want or who you expected. Find yourself another older dude who will pay your way and keep you in Botox. 

Also Razvan? You are not that good an actor because you clearly are more upset about losing your ticket to America than losing Amanda.

I dunno, I believe Razvan is not acting … he’s genuinely upset. 

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Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

1 minute ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Freelancer, we still will use her for smaller projects. This one was little above her experience level as what I got back is not functioning at all the way it should. I think she thought it was easier than it is and once she for into realized this and stalled for time. We use her for other things so I trusted her.

@Suzywriter I am fine to pay her for the time she spent on it but she didn’t deliver what we needed. 

In that case it's easier. Just have coffee with her and tell her you understand that she's eager and ambitious but its important to moderate her ambition by being realistic. Its one thing to say "I want to do what you do", its another to put your money where your mouth is and deliver the goods. Suggest additional training, or suggest that she spend some time with more experienced folks who can mentor. No one will think less of her for having a clear understanding of what her limits are. 

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Tuneful

Tuneful

(edited)
21 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Oh dear. I had a friend in a similar situation and it ended…badly. Try to meet in public and maintain the close friendship you have.

Oh dear. Been there as far as opportunities, and I understand loneliness. Looking back I suggest not meeting up again with him in person (just be "busy right now"), not saying anything in correspondence you wouldn't want his wife to read (hopefully he can perceive if you are backing off), and saying on the phone if he calls and gets personal, "I value you as a friend but I don't get involved with married men." Don't debate it. 

Take my advice or leave it. Good luck. I don't even date separated men. Divorced and out for awhile, okay I'll consider.     

Edited by Tuneful
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sandyskyblue

sandyskyblue

I think Amanda is way too freshly widowed to have begun any sort of relationship, especially with 2 young children. Usually, in the first year or 2 of losing a spouse, you are trying to get your bearings, you are grieving 24/7 whether you are aware of it or not, most are, and it's never a good time to make hugely important changes.  I realize everyone grieves in their own personal way but trying to form a new relationship so soon after losing a spouse is not the best choice.  It's not good for the griever or the one they try to have a relationship with.

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Doublemint

Doublemint

1 minute ago, Tuneful said:

Oh dear. Been there. I understand loneliness. Looking back I suggest not meeting up again with him in person (just be "busy right now"), not saying anything in correspondence you wouldn't want his wife to read (he should pick up if you are backing off), and saying on the phone if he calls, "I value you as a friend but I don't get involved with married men. I need some distance."

Take my advice or leave it. I wish you luck in deciding.    

This is good - agree with all of it.

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

4 minutes ago, LEILANI2 said:

What do you want out of this... sex or for him to leave his wife? If just sex that's taboo then fine, otherwise married men will cheat with anyone willing, it's not the flattery to might think it is.

Does he have small children because sex is easy to get anywhere if you a 2 and female with working body parts, not worth ruining a family.

I want a friend around and to end this dry spell.  He and his wife have a long term  snarky, antagonistic relationship, but they both have too much to lose financially and socially to divorce. The kids are 40 and 31 and everybody is married or careered up.

I'm considering it because I need to prime the pump. I tend to be invisible; 3 years without a date, 4 years divorced from the swivel-eyed dick that I married in 2013.  I'm thinking this will be fun, and he lives 300 miles away so won't be dropping in. 

As for his wife, we know each other. She's...difficult. I'm not just taking his word for it. I wouldn't consider someone who had a nice wife at home who would be hurt.  If I'm in his state, he, maybe some other friends and I get together for dinner or drinks. Wife chooses not to come. 

BTW, we met in the 5th grade, so we've known each other casually for what, 52 years? 

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Tuneful

Tuneful

(edited)

You all are stronger than I am to stay the course tonight. Maybe I'll watch Pillow Talk on demand to get the highlights or lowlights.

We've been seeing the exact same s**t from Gino and Jasmine for, what, 3 years? And the typical 90D story about GFs in Asia and American guys. Sharp needs some new script writers.  

Edited by Tuneful
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Auntie Anxiety

Auntie Anxiety

5 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

I want a friend around and to end this dry spell.  He and his wife have a long term  snarky, antagonistic relationship, but they both have too much to lose financially and socially to divorce. The kids are 40 and 31 and everybody is married or careered up.

I'm considering it because I need to prime the pump. I tend to be invisible; 3 years without a date, 4 years divorced from the swivel-eyed dick that I married in 2013.  I'm thinking this will be fun, and he lives 300 miles away so won't be dropping in. 

As for his wife, we know each other. She's...difficult. I'm not just taking his word for it. I wouldn't consider someone who had a nice wife at home who would be hurt.  If I'm in his state, he, maybe some other friends and I get together for dinner or drinks. Wife chooses not to come. 

BTW, we met in the 5th grade, so we've known each other casually for what, 52 years? 

You’re an adult. I’ll trust your judgment.

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Suzywriter

Suzywriter

1 minute ago, CSunshine76 said:

Oh Sheila, spelling each word is not using sign language.  David needs to find someone who signs, or is deaf themselves.

I don't know...she could talk to herself incessantly and sing off key, and wouldn't drive him nuts. I speak from experience, that would be a really good perk. 

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