S04.E10: Parenthood

[jewel21]

Quote

The 118 responds to a series of calls dealing with parents and their children, including a disastrous birthday party thrown by a mommy blogger. Meanwhile, Athena and Michael talk to May about her past suicide attempt, Chimney and Maddie adjust to life with their newborn, and Hen and Karen are emotionally shattered as their foster daughter, Nia, is reunited with her birth mother.

Airdate: 04/26/2021

[tvgoddess]

Although this episode had a usual overarching theme, I don't think it flowed very well. It seemed slow and fast at the same time. The saddest and most moving part for me by far was that mom telling her daughter to let her go. That was just heartwrenching. Also really liked all of the May/Athena/Bobby scenes. Very well done. The rest was okay, but it just seemed like an overall meh episode. I did cry at the montage at the end, but not really before then. 

[possibilities]

Denny is a really sweet kid.

[Empress1]

My friend was a foster mother and she said she was told the same thing Hen and Karen were when she was doing all the set-up work, that many people don't go back for a second placement. (My friend actually didn't because she adopted her first/only placement, a teenage girl. I had a coworker who was also a foster mother and did do multiple placements but they stopped after they adopted their second child - they also have a biological child.) Nia is ADORABLE.

7 hours ago, possibilities said:

Denny is a really sweet kid.

He is. When he told the new foster siblings that his moms were awesome I was like "awwww."

I can't remember what the story is with Chim's mother and the woman at the end - did she adopt him? Chim said she finished the job his mother started.

[Lady Calypso]

I think this episode had a lot of sweet, and also sad, moments, but I agree that the pacing felt off, as if they were forcing some of the stories around parenthood. Now, the Hen/Karen storyline was absolutely needed, as was the Athena/May story. And I appreciate getting an update on Chimney/Maddie's new roles as parents. But I think having all of the stories in one episode made some of them feel rushed. And the cases, except for the one with the dying mother and grieving daughter, felt out of place. 

I did love Hen/Karen talking to Denny about the whole situation with Nia and what a parent actually means. Having him ask the questions about his "real" mother and Hen/Karen correcting him on what a real parent is was a nice touch, and I love that Denny corrected himself after that when talking about his birth mother. I also love that Hen/Karen got closure with Nia (even if Karen was breaking the rules by hiring a private investigator, it clearly was needed for both of them to move on. And I love that it was Karen who did it, not Hen) and decided to continue with the fostering. 

May listening to Athena's 911 call when she attempted suicide was so sad. You could see May's heartbreak as she listened to her mother's panic. Of course she wouldn't understand why Athena would be so affected by May talking to her bully again until she heard HOW it affected her mother. And I like Michael's part in telling May why she should be easier on her mother. A great episode for Corrine Massiah and Angela Bassett.

It's funny to see Chimney and Maddie hold their robot baby but at least they're not trying to hide it. Obviously, for now, they can't have a real baby being on set for very long, besides a couple of close-up scenes, so I can handwave the robot baby being shown, especially funny when it's shown in close ups of someone holding it. But it was a good episode to see how parenthood is affecting both of them. Jee-Yun is definitely a very cute baby!

[Racj82]

Whatever to the complaints you guys have about this week.

I thought the episode was really well done and had me crying ugly tears while they were showing flashbacks of the mother and daughter. Just really touching all around.

[gonzosgirrl]

I'm not sure why Nia's mother's situation was such a big secret from Karen and Hen. Even in adoptions this isn't the case any more. Why would they not have been informed of the circumstances? Apart from that, I thought the resolution was well done. My favourite part was actually Hen's mom telling her how Nia would remember the love and security. I think that was the turning point for her to be able to foster again.

I really enjoy Chim as a character. His interactions with 'Grandma' were sweet and I'm glad she forgave him his slip of the tongue without drama.

It was a bit of a stretch that May was able to access that archived call so easily, but her reactions to listening to it were very well done.

I generally love the insane rescues and the blogger-mom getting impaled by flying trampoline springs was no exception.

Edited April 27, 2021 by gonzosgirrl

[shapeshifter]

43 minutes ago, gonzosgirrl said:

My favourite part was actually Hen's mom telling her how Nia would remember the love and security.

Best PSA bit of dialogue ever!

 

******************

 

As a mom of 3 adult girls/women, I surprised myself by how much I was on board with Athena (Angela Bassett) yelling at May about how she felt about her friending the mean girl who had driven her to suicide.

Edited April 27, 2021 by shapeshifter

[gonzosgirrl]

4 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Best PSA bit of dialogue ever!

It reminded me of the not-really-a-Maya-Angelou-quote-but-always-attributed-to-her about how people would not remember what you said or did, but how they made you feel. A little cliche, perhaps, but still true.

Edited April 27, 2021 by gonzosgirrl

[tennisgurl]

The pace was a little bit off, they maybe could have cut the story with the son breaking into his parents house, but I thought this was a nice look at parenting, which was a good topic to look at with all of the issues of parents and children going on. Chim and Maddie having their new baby, Hen and Karen dealing with giving Nia back to her birth mom, and the lingering trauma that Athena has over May's attempted suicide which is brought back as May reconnects with the mean girl who bullied her to a suicide attempt. The daughter saying goodbye to her dying mom story was the best of the calls, but I liked the other ones too, especially the mommy blogger and her poor son. No twelve year old wants to play pin the tail on the donkey, especially performing it on Instagram, come on mom. "My mom was pinned to the donkey!" 

A lot of this plot with Hen and Karen having to give Nia back has has been a bit cringy, but I like how it ended up playing out here. It finally hit them that this is what they signed up for and this is what was best for Nia. They did a good thing for Nia and her mom, allowing her mom to be better able to take care of with more time, and while they will miss cute sweet Nia they were glad to have had her while they did and that they could take care of her. Even if she doesn't really remember them specifically, she will still have a memory of feeling happy with them. I am still not sure fostering is going to be a great idea for them, but maybe now they know more of what they are getting into. Their talk with Denny was sweet too, I liked how they talked about "real" parents. 

Interesting that this show and Lonestar both had themes of people refusing to ask for help when they needed it. Not surprised that Chim and Maddie passed out the second they had the chance, they have had a LOT on their plates between the baby and looking after Albert, even if Albert is trying really hard not to be a burden. They were really cute handing the baby off back and fourth, and I am glad that Chim's surrogate mom was forgiving of Chim's slip of the tongue. He didn't mean it that way, he's just running on like twenty minutes of sleep. 

Its been seemingly so long since May's suicide, it can be easy to forget how terrifying that was for Athena. May certainly remembers it but I think she also know thinks her mom thinks that she's fragile and cant handle anything, and that really upsets her, especially as its something May seems to have moved on from. Hearing the call though really let her see how horrible that was for Athena, even thinking that she was dead at first, and could understand her more. Their plot was my favorite, it was all really well done and excellently acted by everyone. 

Of course Buck sees a bunch of preteens and immediately starts showing off the cool saws. He always does great with kids. 

[Empress1]

18 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Of course Buck sees a bunch of preteens and immediately starts showing off the cool saws. He always does great with kids. 

One of the things I like most about Buck is that he likes kids and is good with them - he doesn't condescend to them.

[shapeshifter]

40 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Interesting that this show and Lonestar both had themes of people refusing to ask for help when they needed it. Not surprised that Chim and Maddie

Yes, and also the two 9-1-1 shows had different takes on the use and response of social media videos to broadcast traumatic medical emergencies.
I guess the writers have to be sharing notes with someone having the job of coordinating the stories?

Like with the L&O SVU and the new one back-to-back, it's a means of keeping those viewers for 2 hours in a row.

Edited April 27, 2021 by shapeshifter

[iMonrey]

I'm not sure it's such a good idea for Hen and Karen to jump right back into fostering. Considering how hard this was for Hen she's still dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. This feels like she's trying to cover that up or ignore it by busying herself with a new project instead of dealing with her emotions. 

I did think the mother and daughter story was quite moving and well done, although I'm not sure that was an appropriate catalyst for Hen's sudden change of heart about fostering. Sort of apples and oranges there.

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

I'm not sure it's such a good idea for Hen and Karen to jump right back into fostering. Considering how hard this was for Hen she's still dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. This feels like she's trying to cover that up or ignore it by busying herself with a new project instead of dealing with her emotions. 

I did like that the kids they were fostering were openly very short term.  I think that might be a healthy way for them to get back into it.  Part of the reason they fostered Nia is because they were unable to have a biological child and thought fostering might be a way for them to have another kid.  Having Nia returned to her mother likely felt like the loss of another child for them. 

Having a few short term fosters with them knowing how short term it might be won't lead to them getting their hopes up.

[Evagirl]

After reading this thread I can only surmise that it's me.  I was bored beyond bored with this episode.  I'm really kind of over Hen and her household.  I'd much rather watch Eddie and Christopher.  Hen is so emotional that it draining to watch her.  I dunno...bringing in babies slows down a show.  I'm happy for Chim and Maddie, but all that drama over a new born.  The house was a total mess.  There was unnecessary chaos.  It seems silly to dumb down a show because a baby is born.  Organization is the key to everything flowing smoothly.  Maddie and Chim both should know this.  I fast-forwarded through a lot of it.  I'm really bummed b/c I really used to love this show.

[Aliconehead]

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

My friend was a foster mother and she said she was told the same thing Hen and Karen were when she was doing all the set-up work, that many people don't go back for a second placement. (My friend actually didn't because she adopted her first/only placement, a teenage girl. I had a coworker who was also a foster mother and did do multiple placements but they stopped after they adopted their second child - they also have a biological child.) Nia is ADORABLE.

He is. When he told the new foster siblings that his moms were awesome I was like "awwww."

I can't remember what the story is with Chim's mother and the woman at the end - did she adopt him? Chim said she finished the job his mother started.

Chim’s bio mom and Mrs Lee were best friends.  When Chim’s bio mom died and his father moved back to Korea and got remarried, Chim stayed and moved in with Lee family. They had a son Kevin who was Chims best friend.  Both joined the Fire Department.  Kevin died in a fire and Chim avoided the Lee’s after that.  Finally he went back and they welcomed him back. They kept telling him he was family but Chim has family issues that made it had to believe. 
I think this was the story. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by Aliconehead

[peace355]

Nia was so adorable and her asking to play with Denny and her "see you later" was heartbreaking, glad she has happy ending with her mom. Hen did annoy me when she nixed the idea of fostering straight after goodbye, while Karen who was also upset about saying bye,was acknowledging it was tough but open to discussion.

Chim/Maddie baby situation just reminds me how crap maternity leave is in the US! They were cute doing their swap overs though

[shapeshifter]

46 minutes ago, Aliconehead said:

Chim’s bio mom and Mrs Lee were best friends.  When Chim’s bio mom died and his father moved back to Korea and got remarried, Chim stayed and moved in with Lee family. They had a son Kevin who was Chims best friend.  Both joined the Fire Department.  Kevin died in a fire and Chim avoided the Lee’s after that.  Finally he went back and they welcomed him back. They kept telling him he was family but Chim has family issues that made it had to believe. 
I think this was the story. 

The only thing to add to this^ is that the Lee's son Kevin only joined the Fire Department because Chim did, so when Kevin died in a fire, Chim felt responsible for his death.

[Jillybean]

This episode was so different. I can't recall other episodes showing accident victims beyond the rescue. The flashback montage of the mother-daughter was lovely, but these were two random characters. It seemed strange to me. It's like they suddenly decided to be This is Us. The end of episode scenes with updates on all the rescued people was also OOC for this show. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by Jillybean

[DearEvette]

1 hour ago, Jillybean said:

This episode was so different. I can't recall other episodes showing accident victims beyond the rescue. The flashback montage of the mother-daughter was lovely, but these were two random characters. It seemed strange to me. It's like they suddenly decided to be This is Us. The end of episode scenes with updates on all the rescued people was also OOC for this show. 

Naw they've done that before.  There was one episode with an elderly gay couple.  We go their entire dating life story in flashbacks through the decades before they both died together during the emergency call (one was pinned by his car to the gate and I think one had a heart attack because of it). 

Also we've had follow ups there was the one episode, I forget why exactly -- but alot of people Maddie helped from old calls had come to pep talk her for something.  I remember one of them was the lady who had held up traffic by standing on a billboard screaming about her life because her husband (I think it was Marvin) didn't "See" her.  I guess she had gotten out of jail to come pep talk Maddie.

Anyhoo, I agree this episode was oddly paced.  I still enjoyed it, but if was def not as good as last week's stellar and very well constructed episode.  I did love the Athena/May/Bobby/Michael stuff.  I was 100% team Athena but I liked the scene of May hearing her own 911 call.  She could finally hear what her mother went through.  A lot of kids don't get that insight because  either parents protect their kids from that or kids simply will never understand their parents' perspective on many things until they themselves become a parent.  I remember my mother and husband having a real heart-to-heart conversation one Christmas for about an hour, they were huddled in a corner just talking.  I asked him about it later and h told me that she was telling him stories about my adolescent years that were kinda turbulent between her and me.  There were some things that really struck me because my memory and perception of some incidents were so different from what she had told him but they gave such insight about why she did some of the things she did (at the time as a snotty teenager I was angry and held onto some residual resentment) but in hindsight and hearing them now as a parent with my own teenagers I understand a lot more and even feel a little bit of shame for my snottiness.  LOL.

[CoderLady]

47 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

I did love the Athena/May/Bobby/Michael stuff.  I was 100% team Athena but I liked the scene of May hearing her own 911 call.  She could finally hear what her mother went through.  A lot of kids don't get that insight because  either parents protect their kids from that or kids simply will never understand their parents' perspective on many things until they themselves become a parent.  I remember my mother and husband having a real heart-to-heart conversation one Christmas for about an hour, they were huddled in a corner just talking.  I asked him about it later and h told me that she was telling him stories about my adolescent years that were kinda turbulent between her and me.  There were some things that really struck me because my memory and perception of some incidents were so different from what she had told him but they gave such insight about why she did some of the things she did (at the time as a snotty teenager I was angry and held onto some residual resentment) but in hindsight and hearing them now as a parent with my own teenagers I understand a lot more and even feel a little bit of shame for my snottiness.  LOL.

What I love about the May/Athena conflict is that Athena went full warrior queen on May for wanting to give a proven enemy another chance. It was a doomed approach, but it was unhesitatingly geared toward urging May to be strong and smart rather than using her own considerable pain over the attempted suicide to guilt May. I'm glad May got the full perspective from the 911 call in the end, though. 

[marceline]

Hen and Karen choosing to foster more kids didn't exactly fill me with hope. Both of them had inappropriate reactions to letting Nia go.

I was SO disappointed to learn that Karen hired a private detective. Somebody in the system is already facing a lot of scrutiny. A private detective hired by your child's former foster mom? Hell no.

Are they going to do that every time they have to give a kid back? Denny's bio mom was a meth addict and is in prison. Hen killed an innocent person last year by running through a red light. A private detective could have a field day. They are sitting square of the middle of a glass house.

Edited April 28, 2021 by marceline

[Emily Thrace]

I agree with those who say the pacing was off. Hen's story probably could have waited. I do wonder if this was also due to the writers not being sure how many episodes they would get.

Another weird thing is all these people who supposedly speak Korean as their first language talking in English to each other.Its especially weird in Alberts case as he has just moved to the US. I get that not all of the actors may be fluent but its the details that matter when it comes to representation.

[Empress1]

14 hours ago, Emily Thrace said:

Another weird thing is all these people who supposedly speak Korean as their first language talking in English to each other.Its especially weird in Alberts case as he has just moved to the US. I get that not all of the actors may be fluent but its the details that matter when it comes to representation.

I notice this too. One of my best friends is an Iranian immigrant and she and her family only speak English when non-Farsi speakers are present - when they moved to the States, their parents didn't allow them to speak English at home. If I'm meeting my friend and her sister for dinner and I get there last, they're speaking Farsi to each other and will switch to English to include me. This is especially true if they are speaking to elders who learned English later. Another of my best friends is a first-generation Korean-American and her parents didn't learn English until they came to the States, so they are far more comfortable speaking Korean than they are English and would not speak English among other Koreans, unless they were Korean-Americans who do not speak Korean.

Edited April 28, 2021 by Empress1

[shapeshifter]

15 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I notice this too. One of my best friends is an Iranian immigrant and she and her family only speak English when non-Farsi speakers are present - when they moved to the States, their parents didn't allow them to speak English at home. If I'm meeting my friend and her sister for dinner and I get there last, they're speaking Farsi to each other and will switch to English to include me. This is especially true if they are speaking to elders who learned English later. Another of my best friends is a first-generation Korean-American and her parents didn't learn English until they came to the States, so they are far more comfortable speaking Korean than they are English and would not speak English among other Koreans, unless they were Korean-Americans who do not speak Korean.

In contrast, when my father was growing up, even though his parents didn't learn English until they came to the US after his older siblings were born, only English was permitted to be spoken in the home. That was in 1920s-30s NYC, so I don't know if that is still common.

[Snazzy Daisy]

“Am not leaving you, am setting you free”, that mother-daughter scenes are ovewhelming 😭

Bye-bye Nia, will miss you cutie! Why Hen & Karen are not using one of their eggs & sperm donor to have own child? I may have missed this part in previous episodes/seasons.

Not enjoying the Chim/Maddie baby chaos so much because the robot baby is too obvious, they should at least get her size right.

May listening to the 911 call is heartbreaking, a little bit of understanding and empathy go a long way, now just ignore & block that b*tch!

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, SnazzyDaisy said:

Why Hen & Karen are not using one of their eggs & sperm donor to have own child? I may have missed this part in previous episodes/seasons.

Karen had miscarriages. 

[ribboninthesky1]

I preferred this episode to last week's. I watch the 911 Lonestar episodes only bc of Gina Torres and Sierra McClain, but something about the way THIS cast (main and supporting) interact together just works for me, even when the writing is absurd.  There were plenty of tears from me watching, particularly the black mother/daughter scenes - the guest stars and Athena/May. 

I really like Hen and Chim's friendship, so it was nice to see a wee bit of their bond in this episode.  I know nothing about being foster parents, so I didn't have a strong opinion beyond it felt like the writers wanted to give Hen a super dramatic storyline.  The Nia actress is a treasure, it's too bad we won't be seeing her anymore.  Jee-Yun is super adorable, too! As were the new foster kids.  They sure know how to cast the youngins. 

On 4/27/2021 at 7:44 PM, CoderLady said:

What I love about the May/Athena conflict is that Athena went full warrior queen on May for wanting to give a proven enemy another chance. It was a doomed approach, but it was unhesitatingly geared toward urging May to be strong and smart rather than using her own considerable pain over the attempted suicide to guilt May. I'm glad May got the full perspective from the 911 call in the end, though. 

I agree.  In a show where there are significant parental issues for some of the main cast, I really appreciated the bolded.  Athena went full on "I think the hell NOT" about Lydia, and I kind of loved it while being sympathetic to May.     

I thought Michael's words to May were poignant as well - nicely played by Dunbar.