S05.E11: Mommy Dearests

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

D'Andra makes amends to Momma Dee on the heels of their epic fight, while Kary bonds with her daughters on a hike and Stephanie unveils her first locker room project for charity. When Tiffany hosts an elegant luau to make up for her disastrous pizza party, Brandi and D'Andra clash over what it means to be a "real" Christian.

Original air date 2021.03.23

[nexxie]

🍿Let’s hope D’Andra goes after Brandi for hypocrisy - I’m pretty sure the Bible doesn’t quote Jesus saying, “Get stinkin’ drunk and stand out in the road wearing hotpants grinding your hips and screaming YE-HAW!”

[Mindthinkr]

I’m happy for Stephanie that she got to redo the locker room. Even if she was over budget. I think this will give her confidence moving forward to tackle other projects and show her husband that she is more than a pretty face. 

[Stats Queen]

All this visor wearing without masks.... don’t know what to say.

I know someone in my social circle who says masks give her an anxiety attack. She did however “wear” a visor.

Actually she didn’t wear it but walked in with it an something I braved attending and said I don’t want to come near you. That visor, that she didn’t wear, did not even cover the top of her nose.

I learned yesterday that she does not plan to get the vaccine.

What is wrong with these self-centered people. Even if you don’t think COVID is a risk, you could, at a minimum, so respect for fellow human beings.

[Mindthinkr]

That’s why I was happy to see that Tiffany’s Mom kept her mask on and then elbow bumped her grandchildren. 
Of course I was not expecting her to do a 180 from the person that her daughter described. Tiffany should film in front of cameras all the time with her mother lol. 

[nexxie]

Of course Mama Dee doesn’t apologize - don’t know how D’Andra puts up with her.

[Mindthinkr]

5 minutes ago, nexxie said:

Of course Mama Dee doesn’t apologize - don’t know how D’Andra puts up with her.

The hope of being the only one in her will. 

[Wicked]

I like seeing this nonawful side of Kary

Edited March 24, 2021 by Wicked
type-o

[Stats Queen]

1 minute ago, Wicked said:

I like seeing this nonawful like of Kary

Same here, because she actually exists.

[RealHousewife]

Trust me my own relationship with my mother whom I love very much is complex, but it makes me uncomfortable to see these women repeatedly put down their mothers or call them bitches on national TV. 

Tiffany looked stunning in her pink dress, like a Barbie. 

I also wanna know which commandment Kary eliminated! haha

Edited March 24, 2021 by RealHousewife

[nexxie]

22 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

The hope of being the only one in her will. 

HA! That could be it - but I wouldn’t put it past Dee to give it all to someone else, just to hurt D’Andra one last time.

Edited March 24, 2021 by nexxie

[Stats Queen]

8 minutes ago, nexxie said:

Of course Mama Dee doesn’t apologize - don’t know how D’Andra puts up with her.

Breaking free of family dynamics is incredibly difficult- and when your one family member is Mama Dee, just such an unhealthy dynamic, I see both sides, but Mama Dee is still D’Andrea’s mother.

[Mindthinkr]

5 minutes ago, nexxie said:

HA! That could be it - but I wouldn’t put ot past Dee to give it all to someone else, just to hurt D’Andra one last time.

I’d bet that she leaves a lot to her favorite charities. 

[nexxie]

8 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

Breaking free of family dynamics is incredibly difficult- and when your one family member is Mama Dee, just such an unhealthy dynamic, I see both sides, but Mama Dee is still D’Andrea’s mother.

D’Andra’s emotional explosions aren’t unusual for the child of a narcissist - being a mother doesn’t make Dee non-toxic. 

[nexxie]

22 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Trust me my own relationship with my mother whom I love very much is complex, but it makes me uncomfortable to see these women repeatedly put down their mothers or call them bitches on national TV. 

I know what you mean, and find myself cringing a little when Tiffany goes off on her mom - telling it to a therapist seems like a better idea. I wish Dee wasn’t on the show - imo she is a cruel person who gets off on hurting her daughter. D’Andra reacts very emotionally, and it can be ugly.

[RealHousewife]

1 minute ago, nexxie said:

I know what you mean, and find myself cringing a little when Tiffany goes off on her mom - telling it to a therapist seems like a better idea. I wish Dee wasn’t on the show - imo she is a cruel person who gets off on hurting her daughter. D’Andra reacts very emotionally, and it can be ugly.

Yes, I get that these women are supposed to share their lives, and I don't expect them to say their parents are perfect when they're not. But Tiffany goes off on her mom A LOT. I too think she needs a therapist to discuss her childhood, her parents, and the ramifications of it all. Also, I'm not sure if her parents know what all their daughter is saying just yet. I hope they're not shocked and hurt once the show airs. When D'Andra goes off on her mom, because of the way Dee is and how often she's featured, I generally don't feel as bad. Dee is on constantly and tells her side, whether people like it or not. But something about calling your own mother, who's elderly, a f***ing bitch still makes me uncomfortable. I do feel for D'Andra. It's got to be hard when that's your only family and the relationship isn't healthy. 

[Lassus]

Tiffany, I have been completely on team Tiffany all season; but GTFO of here with baiting and needling your mother for agreeing with you.

[JAYJAY1979]

D'andra did state once she was close to her husband's family.  I think her husband is good for her..he makes her laugh.  And both seem to love cooking.

Tifffany and Dandra bonded due to their moms.  

And I did like Dandra bringing up the medium and haunted house to Brandi during their discussion.

[angelamh66]

I really try to be respectful of people’s religious beliefs but when Brandi says goofy stuff like the devil could come through the hair extension shaman’s out of body experience I cannot roll my eyes any harder. 

[Keywestclubkid]

D’andra admits that her biological father was never a big part of her life and that’s why she took on her stepdads name ... but then in the next breath tries to justify ripping her brother and stepmothers inheritance from them?  This women is super opportunistic I mean it was shit for her mother to call her out on it but it’s true  

[Keywestclubkid]

And that’s super messed up that mama D uses nasty tactics to keep her daughter close ... you ain’t got no one but me kid NO ONE ... she’s a total mental abuser who keeps you so beat down mentally that you are scared to leave cause it’s been drilled in your head they are the only ones that “care” about you. 

Edited March 24, 2021 by Keywestclubkid

[Keywestclubkid]

It just goes to show you everyone is trainable... oh Kam read the room .. that is not a cute comment to make ... 

[Marley]

Ugh Brandi is such a dumb judgemental bitch. She needs to shut up with her god stuff. She’s actually really stupid and doesn’t know anything. Exhibited by her not knowing the proper words to say what she was trying to be judgy with. Lol at D’andra bring the pendulum. Every episode I dislike her more. Why does the rest of the cast seem to tip toe around her like she’s some fragile baby. She’s just a judgy jerk who thinks way too high of there self. Also why is she so orange lol.

D’andra is just bowing down to her mom because she wants her inheritance lol. Some of her smiles seem so forced when they were having their talk. Watch Dee leave the money to the dog tho as her final fuck you lol.

Tiffany is kind of trying to hard to fit in with the group now. It’s a bit cringy.

I always FF Karys family scenes. Snooze fest.

When ppl wear those face shields they look like idiots lol. They are so goofy looking. Just wear a mask it honestly looks better even if ppl only see half your face.

[princelina]

2 hours ago, Stats Queen said:

Breaking free of family dynamics is incredibly difficult- and when your one family member is Mama Dee, just such an unhealthy dynamic, I see both sides, but Mama Dee is still D’Andrea’s mother.

Surely it gets easier if you air all of your dirty business on tv! 😄 

[Hiyo]

Quote

I really try to be respectful of people’s religious beliefs but when Brandi says goofy stuff like the devil could come through the hair extension shaman’s out of body experience I cannot roll my eyes any harder. 

So that explains her drinking, dildo fetish, partying, racist videos, etc...the devil made her do it through her extensions!

[Haute Messe]

Brandy is a hypocritical ignorant idiot.  She has no clue what she is talking about and I think that may be the reason she is leaving. She can't keep up with these women in any capacity except for drinking. 

As for Jen. It was pretty windy up there and I was waiting for her dress to blow up so we would get a shot of her labia flapping around in the breeze. Thank the Lord for small mercies that didn't happen.

Kary's 9 commandments.  Maybe she combined two of them as "don't sleep with your neighbour".

Tiffany is pretty impressed with having money. Even when her mother supported her decision to cut her hours, she still had to make a point of reminding her mom that she pays for her Porsche and her LV bags.  I lost count of how many time she mentioned "her" hotel. And her voice still makes me stabby. 

Stephanie did a great job with those lockers and I think that she got the affirmation and respect that she has been seeking from Travis. 

I don't know what to think about D'andra and Dee. There is some long standing disfunction in this relationship and think they are both at fault. 

[nexxie]

11 hours ago, JAYJAY1979 said:

D'andra did state once she was close to her husband's family.  I think her husband is good for her..he makes her laugh.  And both seem to love cooking.

Tifffany and Dandra bonded due to their moms.  

And I did like Dandra bringing up the medium and haunted house to Brandi during their discussion.

How did Tiffany and D’Andra bond because of their moms - I don’t recall the story? It’s creepy the way Dee fawns over Tiffany for the same reasons her own mother pushes her - and for the purpose of making D’Andra feel less than in a number of ways.

During the screamfest about her name, D’Andra told her mother, “I did everything you wanted me to.” I suspect it was Dee’s idea to change her name, and also that fighting bio dad’s will was her idea (and on her dime) - but she enjoys gaslighting her daughter (in Dee’s npd eyes, her biggest rival), and will dangle D’Andra on her yoyo of love bombs and terror until D’Andra has finally had enough.

Edited March 24, 2021 by nexxie

[AryasMum]

Kary’s daughters look so much like Kendall Jenner. Kary needs these family moments because it shows a softer side.  

11 hours ago, angelamh66 said:

I really try to be respectful of people’s religious beliefs but when Brandi says goofy stuff like the devil could come through the hair extension shaman’s out of body experience I cannot roll my eyes any harder. 

Evangelicals can be very suspicious and fearful of things such as - meditation, yoga, mediums, Halloween, etc.  Basically anything that seems pagan or Eastern.  They tend to be strictly KJV, and teach a lot of fire and brimstone.  They take the “fear of God” literally. 
 

11 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

D’andra admits that her biological father was never a big part of her life and that’s why she took on her stepdads name ... but then in the next breath tries to justify ripping her brother and stepmothers inheritance from them?  This women is super opportunistic I mean it was shit for her mother to call her out on it but it’s true  

Particularly because D’Andra already had two trust funds.  It makes me wonder if she was jealous that her brother had a closer relationship with their father. It’s laughable that D actually thinks her brother and step-mom would want to have a relationship after she stripped them of their inheritance. 

[AryasMum]

12 hours ago, Lassus said:

Tiffany, I have been completely on team Tiffany all season; but GTFO of here with baiting and needling your mother for agreeing with you.

 

6 hours ago, lizajane said:

Brandy is a hypocritical ignorant idiot.  She has no clue what she is talking about and I think that may be the reason she is leaving. She can't keep up with these women in any capacity except for drinking. 

As for Jen. It was pretty windy up there and I was waiting for her dress to blow up so we would get a shot of her labia flapping around in the breeze. Thank the Lord for small mercies that didn't happen.

Kary's 9 commandments.  Maybe she combined two of them as "don't sleep with your neighbour".

Tiffany is pretty impressed with having money. Even when her mother supported her decision to cut her hours, she still had to make a point of reminding her mom that she pays for her Porsche and her LV bags.  I lost count of how many time she mentioned "her" hotel. And her voice still makes me stabby. 

Stephanie did a great job with those lockers and I think that she got the affirmation and respect that she has been seeking from Travis. 

I don't know what to think about D'andra and Dee. There is some long standing disfunction in this relationship and think they are both at fault. 

I got the impression that Tiff’s mother was putting it on for the cameras. Tiffany was clearly anxious to tell her mom, and I believe she expected a negative, critical response. If only a tenth of what has been said about her mother, I don’t have a problem with it. 
 

Tiffany has been so pressured from birth by her parents, she didn’t really have friends, or other right of passage moments. I imagine she only had time to date because her mother told her she needed to be married.  I believe she’s their only child, and she would have to ensure the financial responsibility of her parents as they aged (culturally).   I also noticed the twins less than enthusiastic greeting to their grandmother.  Tiff does seem pleased by her wealth, but no less so than Steph. 

[Lassus]

29 minutes ago, AryasMum said:

I got the impression that Tiff’s mother was putting it on for the cameras. Tiffany was clearly anxious to tell her mom, and I believe she expected a negative, critical response. If only a tenth of what has been said about her mother, I don’t have a problem with it. 
 

Tiffany has been so pressured from birth by her parents, she didn’t really have friends, or other right of passage moments. I imagine she only had time to date because her mother told her she needed to be married.  I believe she’s their only child, and she would have to ensure the financial responsibility of her parents as they aged (culturally).   I also noticed the twins less than enthusiastic greeting to their grandmother.  Tiff does seem pleased by her wealth, but no less so than Steph. 

I mean, sure.  I am fully in favor of cutting out parents for being awful human beings, and we didn't see any of her possible/probably terrible childhood. 

I think for me it was more that she wanted so desperately to catch her mother on camera being mean (intimating it, planning it, executing it) that it made her look - to me - more snidely desperate than sad and sympathetic.  Perhaps her mother is this master manipulator and controller of her emotions that Mama D isn't, but overall it's one of the only bits of the show so far that had me feeling just not on Tiffany's side at all.

Edited March 24, 2021 by Lassus

[AryasMum]

Just now, Lassus said:

I mean, sure.  I am fully in favor of cutting out parents for being awful human beings, and we didn't see any of her possible/probably terrible childhood. 

I think for me it was more that she wanted so desperately to catch her mother on camera being mean (intimating it, planning it, executing it) that it made her look - to me - more snidely desperate than sad and sympathetic.  Perhaps her mother is this master manipulator and controller of her emotions that Mama D isn't, but overall it's one of the only bits of the show so far that had me feeling just not on her side at all.

I get what you’re saying, but I think Tiffany was more looking for validation. It’s possible her mother saves the ugliness for private, compared to Dee who doesn’t give a rip if people see. D’Andra gets support because her mother’s manipulation is out there, whereas Tiffany, hypothetically, feels a little gaslit that her mother plays the meek, supportive roll in public, but is all Tiger Mom in private. 
 

Of course this is all speculation, which most of us do here. I’ve simply had enough Asian friends and co-workers to realize it is a large part of the culture.  I had a co-worker who determined his young daughter would only be an engineer or a doctor, and he was absolutely arranging his daughter’s marriage.  Another co-worker allowed her parents to semi-arrange her marriage, which was done by parents of sons sending out their resumes. She got herself a doctor, and seemed happy.   A friend wasn’t allowed to move out while unmarried, although she was in her late twenties. 🤷‍♀️.  Until we learn otherwise, I believe Tiffany. 

[JAYJAY1979]

2 hours ago, nexxie said:

How did Tiffany and D’Andra bond because of their moms - I don’t recall the story? It’s creepy the way Dee fawns over Tiffany for the same reasons her own mother pushes her - and for the purpose of making D’Andra feel less than in a number of ways.

During the screamfest about her name, D’Andra told her mother, “I did everything you wanted me to.” I suspect it was Dee’s idea to change her name, and also that fighting bio dad’s will was her idea (and on her dime) - but she enjoys gaslighting her daughter (in Dee’s npd eyes, her biggest rival), and will dangle D’Andra on her yoyo of love bombs and terror until D’Andra has finally had enough.

Tiffany feels more like an investment than a daughter...and I think when the cameras are off..her mom is not so warm like we saw in the episode. 

D'andra...mama Dee shows us her good and not so good side.  Dee deep down is disappointed in her daughter and probably wishes Tiffany was her daughter.

 

And Stephanie's locker project turned out well.  She is providing good PR for her hubby's business.  And she was a social worker...that is an incredibly difficult job to have.  So if hubby only thinks of her as just a pretty face than he's missing out.

 

[nosedive]

1 hour ago, AryasMum said:

Evangelicals can be very suspicious and fearful of things such as - meditation, yoga, mediums, Halloween, etc.  Basically anything that seems pagan or Eastern.  They tend to be strictly KJV, and teach a lot of fire and brimstone.  They take the “fear of God” literally. 

All Evangelicals are not Fundamentalists, and I can't remember the last time I was in a church that used  the KJV of the Bible.  Many Evangelicals meditate, do yoga and dress up for Halloween.  "Fear of God" is interpreted as being in awe of God, not afraid of Him.  

 

 

[bosawks]

I like to think that being a Housewife is Tiffany's delayed teenage rebellion.

Oh, and Brandi's a turd.

[Haute Messe]

2 hours ago, AryasMum said:

 

I got the impression that Tiff’s mother was putting it on for the cameras. Tiffany was clearly anxious to tell her mom, and I believe she expected a negative, critical response. If only a tenth of what has been said about her mother, I don’t have a problem with it. 
 

Tiffany has been so pressured from birth by her parents, she didn’t really have friends, or other right of passage moments. I imagine she only had time to date because her mother told her she needed to be married.  I believe she’s their only child, and she would have to ensure the financial responsibility of her parents as they aged (culturally).   I also noticed the twins less than enthusiastic greeting to their grandmother.  Tiff does seem pleased by her wealth, but no less so than Steph. 

Tiff lacks social graces, which I would guess is the result of the home she was raised in and her mother probably was putting on an act for the cameras.  She is constantly dropping designer names around and most of her wealth is actually through her husband, whose family owns those hotels. I think she is trying way too hard to fit in and to please her mother but I find the nouveau riche behaviour off-putting. I don't  see this with Steph - maybe with Kam. I can't recall if we have ever seen Kam's mother but Steph's seems very down to earth.

I think D'andra has been a disappointment to Dee and she has no trouble reminding her of it. Sounds like Dee also married money and her less than upper class roots show through at times. 

[AryasMum]

46 minutes ago, nosedive said:

All Evangelicals are not Fundamentalists, and I can't remember the last time I was in a church that used  the KJV of the Bible.  Many Evangelicals meditate, do yoga and dress up for Halloween.  "Fear of God" is interpreted as being in awe of God, not afraid of Him.  

 

 

Sorry, let me clarify - Fundamentalists and many Southern Evangelicals. I don’t have any family, who are primarily Baptist, that use any Bible other than KJV.  My mom attends a non-denominational church, and they do the same. The Baptist church I was raised in also used strictly KJV. 

15 minutes ago, lizajane said:

Tiff lacks social graces, which I would guess is the result of the home she was raised in and her mother probably was putting on an act for the cameras.  She is constantly dropping designer names around and most of her wealth is actually through her husband, whose family owns those hotels. I think she is trying way too hard to fit in and to please her mother but I find the nouveau riche behaviour off-putting. I don't  see this with Steph - maybe with Kam. I can't recall if we have ever seen Kam's mother but Steph's seems very down to earth.

I think D'andra has been a disappointment to Dee and she has no trouble reminding her of it. Sounds like Dee also married money and her less than upper class roots show through at times. 

I agree, except about Steph. I find her really flashy about her wealth, which she does not contribute to financially, unlike Tiff. 

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, JAYJAY1979 said:

Dee deep down is disappointed in her daughter and probably wishes Tiffany was her daughter.

I agree with this 100%. In the preview clip we saw Tiffany having a private chat with Mama Dee. 
I think Dee is the mother that Tiffany would like, and she is also the daughter that Dee would have hoped to have raised. 

[RealHousewife]

3 hours ago, AryasMum said:

I get what you’re saying, but I think Tiffany was more looking for validation. It’s possible her mother saves the ugliness for private, compared to Dee who doesn’t give a rip if people see. D’Andra gets support because her mother’s manipulation is out there, whereas Tiffany, hypothetically, feels a little gaslit that her mother plays the meek, supportive roll in public, but is all Tiger Mom in private. 
 

Of course this is all speculation, which most of us do here. I’ve simply had enough Asian friends and co-workers to realize it is a large part of the culture.  I had a co-worker who determined his young daughter would only be an engineer or a doctor, and he was absolutely arranging his daughter’s marriage.  Another co-worker allowed her parents to semi-arrange her marriage, which was done by parents of sons sending out their resumes. She got herself a doctor, and seemed happy.   A friend wasn’t allowed to move out while unmarried, although she was in her late twenties. 🤷‍♀️.  Until we learn otherwise, I believe Tiffany. 

I suspect what you're saying is true too, but a part of me still feels a little bad for the mom. It must hurt if she watches the show and sees she's put down in every episode. 

I love my mother, and she was totally the type who was nothing but sweet in front of others but very different when it was just us. So I get Tiffany's pain. It's indeed easier when you have a mother like Dee where we seem to see it all, the good, the bad, the ugly. I've talked to a therapist about my childhood and think Tiffany needs to do the same. 

2 hours ago, AryasMum said:

I agree, except about Steph. I find her really flashy about her wealth, which she does not contribute to financially, unlike Tiff. 

I like Stephanie but agree with this too. It's why I was surprised when she made a comment about Tiffany showing off. They all do it. 

[Shannah Banana]

There are not many people that can say they have never paid a bill, or even seen a bill in their life, but Kameron can!  Girl must be doing something right.😉

[charming]

This might seem Pollyanna but I wonder why D'Andra didn't offer to split the inheritance with her brother? If there were 2 wills and she had a good relationship with her brother why not just share it? 

I'm sorry but I find Travis gross and misogynistic and Stephanie "joking" about lube for her asshole is nauseating. The idea that this low self esteem women with depression issues being this man's human sex toy is sad. 

I'm so happy Brandi's leaving. I hate how everyone is babying her. 

[4N6MAL]

On 3/23/2021 at 9:19 PM, Stats Queen said:

All this visor wearing without masks.... don’t know what to say.

I know someone in my social circle who says masks give her an anxiety attack. She did however “wear” a visor.

Actually she didn’t wear it but walked in with it an something I braved attending and said I don’t want to come near you. That visor, that she didn’t wear, did not even cover the top of her nose.

I learned yesterday that she does not plan to get the vaccine.

What is wrong with these self-centered people. Even if you don’t think COVID is a risk, you could, at a minimum, so respect for fellow human beings.

And Stephanie had the absolutely worst hair style for wearing that visor. Really not a good look at all. And I love her and I'm on Team Stephanie!

[Rambunctiouscurls]

I find Tiffany’s constant disparagement  of her mom off-putting too. I read about the “saving face” practice being huge in Asian cultures and Tiffany is doing the most to destroy her mama’s face. She must think her mom will never watch the show. 

Edited March 29, 2021 by Rambunctiouscurls

[CloseThisAccount]

On 3/24/2021 at 1:45 PM, Mindthinkr said:

I agree with this 100%. In the preview clip we saw Tiffany having a private chat with Mama Dee. 
I think Dee is the mother that Tiffany would like, and she is also the daughter that Dee would have hoped to have raised. 

And if Momma Dee does leave a spite-will, I can see her leaving everything to Tiffany, "who has been the hard-working, successful daughter who made it on her own that I've always wanted"

ETA: syntax

Edited April 12, 2021 by TakeAPinotGrigio

[Hiyo]

Hell Momma Dee might even try adopting Tiffany.