S02.E08: Honest Yak Prices

[jewel21]

Quote

With Abishola's husband adamant that he'll never agree to a divorce, Bob and Abishola grow disheartened that they will never be able to get married.

Airdate: 01/25/2021

[floridamom]

Abishola had years to resolve her marital status. I don't know why someone like her never did anything about it. This is not believable to me. Just a plot for the show. If she knew that he marriage was 'non-divorceable', she should have never started keeping company with Bob in the first place.

[greekmom]

Go Auntie Oluwa!

She is absolutely right about Abishola's husband.

 

[mammaM]

On 1/24/2021 at 1:25 PM, floridamom said:

Abishola had years to resolve her marital status. I don't know why someone like her never did anything about it. This is not believable to me. Just a plot for the show. If she knew that he marriage was 'non-divorceable', she should have never started keeping company with Bob in the first place.

Unfortunately, it's not a plot just for the show. Over the years I've known several women with this problem. It was always a religious thing too, only the man can ask for a divorce, if he doesn't want it, no divorce.  Made me want to scream.

Now whether Abishola should have started dating Bob...I'll give you that one😎

[nilyank]

On 1/24/2021 at 1:25 PM, floridamom said:

Abishola had years to resolve her marital status. I don't know why someone like her never did anything about it. This is not believable to me. Just a plot for the show. If she knew that he marriage was 'non-divorceable', she should have never started keeping company with Bob in the first place.

The divorce rate in Nigeria is something like only .2 to.3% of people who have been married in where she has no power in getting her own divorce to a man that left her and her son to go back to Nigeria and formed another family with his second wife. Where in her own culture, her church and her family are taking sides with that same man to get his way (Abishola coming back to him and returning to Nigeria),

I think it is exceeding unfair and I don't begrudge her finding love again with someone else especially as Bob knows exactly what is going on and is/was willing to be together even if they couldn't legally get married.

My question is why can't Abishola get  a divorce in Michigan which has no fault divorces and she can easily proved that her husband left her over 8 years ago? While it might not be recognized in Nigeria, she could then legally marry Bob.

[jewel21]

Go Auntie Olu. She is fierce! 

[possibilities]

I was wondering what Auntie and Uncle thought about this situation. Loved how they handled it. And it's nice of them not to try to take credit or hold it over her. A good deed done without even a desire to be thanked is really done from love.

Edited January 26, 2021 by possibilities

[Ms Lark]

Olu and Tunde for the win this week!! Olu was fierce!

[Harvey]

Abishola's mom is next level stupid and pathetic. She cares more about her own reputation (not Abishola's), than her daughter's happiness. And you just know Abishola sends her money every month. Ingrate.

Even Kofu and Goodwin were pointless. Why would Abishola need to be concerned about her reputation in Nigeria? She doesn't even live there and if she gets married to Bob, she certainly won't be going back.

Bob definitely was in the wrong when he tried to bribe Tayo, though. That crossed a line.

Overall, I am surprised the writers decided to wrap up this storyline in just 2 episodes, and didn't drag it out. It's all for the best though.

[DoYouLikeMutton]

1 hour ago, Harvey said:

Overall, I am surprised the writers decided to wrap up this storyline in just 2 episodes, and didn't drag it out. It's all for the best though.

My thoughts exactly.  I was left with the feeling “That’s it?”

[greekmom]

1 hour ago, Harvey said:

Bob definitely was in the wrong when he tried to bribe Tayo, though. That crossed a line.

I thought that was a Wheeler move. I mean he is a nice guy but he is his mother's son.

I am not sure how much luck Tayo would have had in court. First, he name dropped some lawyer. Sure we can all name drop but does Tayo have the funds to afford the guy? I mean I can say my lawyer is Amal Clooney but put your money where your mouth is. I know Tayo has some money but I don't think it's Bob level money.

Second what else bothers me is the fact that Tayo does have a second wife and family. While I know that polygamy is practiced in Nigeria (thanks 90 day fiancé!) it is a frowned upon practice in the States which would work in Bob's favour IMHO.

 

[Raja]

1 hour ago, greekmom said:

I thought that was a Wheeler move. I mean he is a nice guy but he is his mother's son.

I am not sure how much luck Tayo would have had in court. First, he name dropped some lawyer. Sure we can all name drop but does Tayo have the funds to afford the guy? I mean I can say my lawyer is Amal Clooney but put your money where your mouth is. I know Tayo has some money but I don't think it's Bob level money.

Second what else bothers me is the fact that Tayo does have a second wife and family. While I know that polygamy is practiced in Nigeria (thanks 90 day fiancé!) it is a frowned upon practice in the States which would work in Bob's favour IMHO.

 

t is one of those things they don't want to go to far down. That polygamy is something from Islamic law and done in areas where Muslims hold the balance of political power and have applied Sharia Law but Abishola has been presented as an Evangelical Christian family. The ex's new wife would not be a legal wife. Sort of like the Philippines with no divorce and President Duterte himself has a legal wife and that is how the society refers to her in this situation but his actual living partner would at times be called a spouse.

In any case Michigan not Nigerian law would apply here. It is only if she returned to Nigeria and the Christian guy with a second and/or multiple spouses has the political pull to get his ex  charged with bigamy and/or go after Bob for adultery.

[doodlebug]

12 hours ago, nilyank said:

My question is why can't Abishola get  a divorce in Michigan which has no fault divorces and she can easily proved that her husband left her over 8 years ago? While it might not be recognized in Nigeria, she could then legally marry Bob.

From what I've read, as long as she is a legal resident of Michigan, she can file and receive a divorce there, no matter where she was married.  So, it really isn't very clear why she doesn't at least consider that.  I presume there are familial and cultural issues that would come into play and make it difficult for her if her husband isn't willing to divorce her; but the legal option is there.  Considering, she chose to remain in Detroit with their son and support herself when he went back to Nigeria; it doesn't seem like Abishola is all that beholden to the customs and culture of Nigeria where a woman would be expected to follow her husband, no matter where he chose to live.  If she was able to ignore the rules then, I don't see why she is so concerned about getting her husband to agree to a divorce now.

[DanaK]

11 hours ago, possibilities said:

I was wondering what Auntie and Uncle thought about this situation. Loved how they handled it. And it's nice of them not to try to take credit or hold it over her. A good deed done without even a desire to be thanked is really done from love.

I find it hard to believe that their words didn't get back to Abishola via other people who witnessed the exchange

Why was Abishola's husband touching the ground every time he greeted Olu and Tunde? Is that a Nigerian custom?

[joanne3482]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

I presume there are familial and cultural issues that would come into play and make it difficult for her if her husband isn't willing to divorce her; but the legal option is there.  Considering, she chose to remain in Detroit with their son and support herself when he went back to Nigeria; it doesn't seem like Abishola is all that beholden to the customs and culture of Nigeria where a woman would be expected to follow her husband, no matter where he chose to live.  If she was able to ignore the rules then, I don't see why she is so concerned about getting her husband to agree to a divorce now.

I think there tend to be rules ingrained in a person due to their culture or upbringing that they can't ignore even if it is illogical or irrational. For example, even though the Catholic Church has changed its views on cremation, my mother, who was raised in the Catholic Church pre-Vatican II, has not, but at the same time she doesn't necessarily hold to all the other tenets of Catholicism.  To me, her anti-cremation stance is completely illogical, but to her it makes complete sense. I can see how not living with her husband is different in Abishola's mind than actually divorcing him. I would suspect, although I could be wrong, there are probably other Nigerian couples who have a similar arrangement where they're not actually divorced, but also not together. 

Have they ever addressed if Abishola's marriage was arranged? I feel like they said it wasn't and it was possibly racist of Bob to assume it was, but I can't remember. 

[DoYouLikeMutton]

On 1/24/2021 at 1:25 PM, floridamom said:

Abishola had years to resolve her marital status. I don't know why someone like her never did anything about it. This is not believable to me. Just a plot for the show. If she knew that he marriage was 'non-divorceable', she should have never started keeping company with Bob in the first place.

My guess is it's easy to put off dealing with something unpleasant until you have to.  Up until now, Abishola might not have dated anyone or been interested in dating.  Then she met Bob.  Relationships can come about even to the most unsuspecting . . . . 😄

[shapeshifter]

Auntie Olu and Tunde did a real about face, didn't they? I think they didn't want to take credit because it would also mean admitting they had been encouraging Tayo in the first place. 

But I ♥️loved❤️ Auntie Olu's church outfit when she was telling off Tayo.
Dressed to the nines!

 

On 1/24/2021 at 1:25 PM, floridamom said:

Abishola had years to resolve her marital status. I don't know why someone like her never did anything about it. This is not believable to me. Just a plot for the show. If she knew that he marriage was 'non-divorceable', she should have never started keeping company with Bob in the first place.

I would've never legally divorced my ex if his new wife hadn't made it happen via California no-fault divorce. Sometimes with kids it can be easier to just live apart --especially if you have no interest in dating. "I'm married" is a great way to say no. Like what @DoYouLikeMutton said.

 

11 hours ago, Harvey said:

Abishola's mom is next level stupid and pathetic. She cares more about her own reputation (not Abishola's), than her daughter's happiness.

Heh, Abishola's mom was so much like mine was!
Including the top of the head view 😂
I'm sure her mom has convinced herself that she's protecting Abishola's prospects for a better husband or maybe protecting Dele's prospects in general.

Edited January 26, 2021 by shapeshifter

[tennisgurl]

Olu and Tunde for the win! Auntie Olu really tore him a new one, she was completely on point about Abishola's husband only showing up now that Abishola has moved on. And she looked fabulous in her church outfit, that hat! I was wondering where Olu and Tunde would fall in this whole thing and I love how they handled it. They didn't even take credit, they just wanted Abishola and Bob to be happy. 

[DanaK]

I almost wish they had continued with Bob and Abishola living together without marriage because it wouldn't necessarily be the usual thing in these types of comedies. But perhaps Abishola isn't the type who wants that

Also, I've been wondering why the young son does not have a Nigerian accent. I know he's been in the US for 8 years, but surely he lived in Nigeria for his first few years and wouldn't necessarily lose the accent after just a few years

It does seem strange that Tayo has a second wife if they are Christian (presumably; maybe only Abishola is Christian) but Wikipedia does say those who live in the North are not restricted from polygamy by religion, so some Christians (and supposedly some Mormons) do partake of the practice (I don't recall if the characters said what part of the country they lived in)

Edited January 26, 2021 by DanaK

[HurricaneVal]

I thought the scene with Bob and Abishola on the couch, dreaming together of how wonderful their wedding celebration would have been was a nice moment between the two of them.  It was very bittersweet and soft.

I want to see the revenge Abishola and/or Olu effect on the judgy pastor.  You know there's more to it than "I've removed him from my prayer list."

[callie lee 29]

So when I was in seminary (christian for those not familiar) we had quite a diverse student population including a large international student body. I had a few friends who were from Africa and had more than one wife. It was more of a cultural, familial thing rather than religious or sexual. Most of the guys had their first wife in the US with them, btw.  I remember one guy explaining that his brother had died a few years ago, leaving a wife and kids. By marrying her it affordedd her a certain amount of protection and safety in their area. 

[nilyank]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Auntie Olu and Tunde did a real about face, didn't they? I think they didn't want to take credit because it would also mean admitting they had been encouraging Tayo in the first place. 

 

I thought Tunde was always Team Bob.

[floridamom]

Just because Bob assumed Abishola's marriage might have been arranged does not make him racist in any way, IMO. It makes the man not familiar with Nigerian culture. Two very different things.

[shapeshifter]

8 hours ago, nilyank said:

16 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Auntie Olu and Tunde did a real about face, didn't they? I think they didn't want to take credit because it would also mean admitting they had been encouraging Tayo in the first place. 

I thought Tunde was always Team Bob

True, but the way Auntie Olu and Tunde welcomed Tayo into their home did not give Tayo any reason to think either of them was Team Bob, which would make it seem like a 180° turn of attitude to Tayo. 

[AnimeMania]

Auntie Olu and Tunde saw how each of the men treated Abishola and how Abishola reacted around them. Tayo had the attitude that she is mine so I have the right to take her. Bob was more I love her, I will do whatever it takes to keep her. Auntie Olu and Tunde have a connection to Abishola, not to the two men.

[Yeah No]

On 1/26/2021 at 11:01 AM, doodlebug said:

From what I've read, as long as she is a legal resident of Michigan, she can file and receive a divorce there, no matter where she was married.  So, it really isn't very clear why she doesn't at least consider that.  I presume there are familial and cultural issues that would come into play and make it difficult for her if her husband isn't willing to divorce her; but the legal option is there.  Considering, she chose to remain in Detroit with their son and support herself when he went back to Nigeria; it doesn't seem like Abishola is all that beholden to the customs and culture of Nigeria where a woman would be expected to follow her husband, no matter where he chose to live.  If she was able to ignore the rules then, I don't see why she is so concerned about getting her husband to agree to a divorce now.

I'm with you on this.  I would think she wouldn't care about the rules in Nigeria and would go for a divorce in the US since that's all they would need to get married here.  I think the show just wanted to look completely respectful of Nigerian ways in not having her do that.  And since the husband has said he will now grant the divorce it doesn't seem like they have to worry about this anyway.  I do wonder if the show might pull something on us and he might change his mind in a later episode!  It ain't over just yet until the papers are signed.  He did seem to agree to this pretty fast and I would think the show would want to milk this plot a little longer.

[TeapotWakeen]

On 1/26/2021 at 12:15 PM, DanaK said:

Why was Abishola's husband touching the ground every time he greeted Olu and Tunde? Is that a Nigerian custom?

I thought he was touching their feet, but from what I saw online, that's not the custom:
 

Quote

In the Yoruba tribe, we have several cultural norms related to how you greet and address elders. Females kneel down to greet our parents and elders (aunties, uncles, parents, friends and so on). To greet much older people like grandparents, you are expected to fully bend your knees and have them touch the floor. With parents and other familiar people, it’s ok to curtsy with bended knee, although some might insist on the knees touching the floor. For men and boys, they are expected to prostrate, lie down flat on the floor to greet, but again bending at the waist is a smaller, acceptable gesture.  https://www.incultureparent.com/how-i-raise-my-kids-to-respect-their-elders-nigerian-style/

Note, I do not remember if Abishola is Yoruba or not.

[DanaK]

13 minutes ago, TeapotWakeen said:

Note, I do not remember if Abishola is Yoruba or not.

I think she probably is. Bob’s employee Goodwin speaks Yoruba, the Yoruba people’s language, and Bob asked him to teach it to him so he could use it to say some things to Abishola

[callie lee 29]

I believe the actress is Yoruba and possibly the creator (though I'm not as sure about that last one).

[Raja]

They called out Yoruba many times in the first season. I noticed because most Nigerians in my immediate friend circle are Ibos 

[DoYouLikeMutton]

On 1/26/2021 at 3:21 PM, DanaK said:

Also, I've been wondering why the young son does not have a Nigerian accent. I know he's been in the US for 8 years, but surely he lived in Nigeria for his first few years and wouldn't necessarily lose the accent after just a few years

I find that younger children lose their native accents quite readily.  Maybe it's from being in school and around many other children, as well as watching tv, etc.  Dele would have been quite young when he came to the US 8 years ago.

Edited January 29, 2021 by DoYouLikeMutton

[nx74defiant]

At the beginning at the cell phone place and Abishola said she wanted her own plan, the clerk told it would cost more to which she snapped she didn't care.

I laughed when Bob said "now I Know your mad."

 

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, nx74defiant said:

At the beginning at the cell phone place and Abishola said she wanted her own plan, the clerk told it would cost more to which she snapped she didn't care.

I laughed when Bob said "now I Know your mad."

I had forgotten about Abishola asserting herself with the cell phone plan in that scene. I wish they had reminded us at the end somehow, but, TBH, it's only 20+ minutes and most viewers should be able to recollect it. 

[CrazyMoon]

On 1/26/2021 at 12:21 PM, DanaK said:

Also, I've been wondering why the young son does not have a Nigerian accent. I know he's been in the US for 8 years, but surely he lived in Nigeria for his first few years and wouldn't necessarily lose the accent after just a few years

He goes to school with American children and spends more time with them than his family. Many of my students are from Central America...the accents vary noticeably. One boy who came from Mexico in October 7th grade speaking no English, finished 8th grade with honors and had tested completely out of the ESL program...less than 2 years and left with just a vague accent yet fluent in both languages. He spoke mostly Spanish with his friends. Do we know if Dele was born in the US or Nigeria?

[DanaK]

7 minutes ago, CrazyMoon said:

Do we know if Dele was born in the US or Nigeria?

Hmm, I thought he was born in Nigeria, but I could be misremembering

[shapeshifter]

On 1/26/2021 at 3:21 PM, DanaK said:

Also, I've been wondering why the young son does not have a Nigerian accent. I know he's been in the US for 8 years, but surely he lived in Nigeria for his first few years and wouldn't necessarily lose the accent after just a few years

The young actor playing Dele was born in Philadelphia (https://bobheartsabishola.fandom.com/wiki/Travis_Wolfe_Jr.). I guess when they cast him as Dele, being good at accents was not a primary concern. 
In the 1960s, my high school boyfriend, who was born in Mexico and whose family came to the Chicago area when he was 6, had no discernible accent when I met him in high school. However, his younger sister, who was born in the mostly white Chicago suburb, had an accent, as did his older sister, whereas his brothers had no accents. There were many cultural reasons that explain this–—including Spanish being spoken exclusively by their father—–but that is a tangent too far.
My point is that aside from Travis Wolfe Jr. (Dele) not having a Nigerian accent, it is possible for Dele to not have one either. 

[doodlebug]

26 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

The young actor playing Dele was born in Philadelphia (https://bobheartsabishola.fandom.com/wiki/Travis_Wolfe_Jr.). I guess when they cast him as Dele, being good at accents was not a primary concern. 
In the 1960s, my high school boyfriend, who was born in Mexico and whose family came to the Chicago area when he was 6, had no discernible accent when I met him in high school. However, his younger sister, who was born in the mostly white Chicago suburb, had an accent, as did his older sister, whereas his brothers had no accents. There were many cultural reasons that explain this–—including Spanish being spoken exclusively by their father—–but that is a tangent too far.
My point is that aside from Travis Wolfe Jr. (Dele) not having a Nigerian accent, it is possible for Dele to not have one either. 

My brother in law is from Australia, having moved to Chicago when he was 7.  He doesn't have even a trace of an Aussie accent, can't even fake one properly.  When I asked him why, he said, "If you'd moved to the south side of Chicago when you were a little kid, you'd have lost your accent in a hurry, too.  The nuns at school loved it, my classmates did not.  If I hadn't gotten rid of it in a hurry, I would've been dead."

Kids are really adaptable, if Dele wanted to lose his accent, he could've done it much more easily than an adult.

 

Edited February 3, 2021 by doodlebug